fic; never say die (1/2)
title: never say die
author: mozarts-piano
rating & warnings: pg-14 for swearing and mentions of sexual activity between two male characters.
AU for: the goonies
summary: liam and zayn break up at the start of their very last summer before university and it's the end of the world.
word count: 15,000
author's note: there's a lot more ridiculous, unnecessary plot - that has nothing to do with the original plot of the goonies - than adventure. i apologize for that.
written for reel-1d
harry gets a call at 2:19 on a wednesday morning.
"wha?" he drools into the phone, squinting at the alarm clock on his bedside table. he's not impressed. really not impressed.
"check facebook," louis says down the line.
"louis," harry groans, rolling over onto his stiff back and trying not to cry. "louis. louis. no. no. no louis-"
"it'll take five seconds i-"
"no, no, no, no, no-"
"harry don't be a child-"
"i will hang up on you-"
"harry," he's got his no nonsense voice on now, which is commanding and hot as hell. "i know you've got your bloody laptop next to you, just log on and see what i'm seeing."
he sighs. long and hard.
louis just waits patiently down the line before saying, in a calm voice, "do you have it?"
"yes," harry grumbles as he swoops to the ground beneath his bed and heaves his laptop up onto the space next to him, eyes bleary. "if i told you i hated you would you believe me?"
louis hums in a vague sort of way and harry can hear his fingers clacking on his own keyboard down the line.
"don't you have an exam tomorrow?" harry asks as he types in his password left handed, his right scraping a bit of sleep out from his eye. "shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"it's for biology and i sit next to cordy bluth in biology," louis says breezily. "and cordy bluth would do just about anything to get into my pants, including turning his page into my eyeline, so i don't need a good night's rest."
"i don't like him."
"i know pumpkin. now hurry up, would you?"
harry mutters cordy bluth's name with narrowed eyes (the slimy git) before quickly bringing up facebook. he scrolls through his cousin's new baby pictures - clicking to like one quick - and some status about someone's work and a shared picture of a scene from the little mermaid. he's about to holler down the line at louis, wondering why the hell he called him at such a late hour for nothing, when he sees it.
Liam Payne went from being "in a relationship" to "single".
"holy shit."
"i know."
"holy shit."
louis sighs. "i know."
harry takes a deep breath. rubs his eyes a bit and then groans.
"what the fuck are we going to do?"
harry flops back onto the bed and tries to take some calming breaths.
"how real is this?" he asks, staring up at the frankie sandford poster on his ceiling (that louis scoffs at every time he's over). "have you talked to zayn or-"
"i've texted him," louis sounds like he's biting his lip. "no reply though. i'm really worried."
"they can't break up though," harry shakes his head, and then blows the hair out of his eyes. he needs a haircut. "they can't. they wouldn't. it's crazy to even think about it."
"harry."
"i think i'm going into shock?" harry closes his eyes, blinks a bit. "definitely going into shock."
"we'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?" louis says, voice quiet now. "i'll see liam in biology, and then afterwards - are you still picking me up?"
harry makes a noise in the affirmative and louis continues.
"i'll tell you what i know then, okay?"
"lou?"
"yeah?"
"this is going to fuck everything up," harry says, and then clears his throat. he feels weird.
"i know," louis sighs. "i love you."
"love you too," harry whispers before ending the call.
he looks up at frankie. he turns his head to the side so he can just make out the large cork board over his desk, covered in pictures of his friends since childhood. if he squints he could see the one of zayn and liam kissing at one of louis' football games while niall pretended to throw up on them.
"shit," he sighs to himself.
-
niall calls him on his way to pick up louis at the school.
"haz!" he yells down the line, voice blurred up by what is probably salt and vinegar crisps. "remind me again, zayn doesn't eat ham? pork?"
"um," harry slows down for the light and frowns. "just no pig in general actually. why are - what's this about?"
"the barbeque at mine, remember?" niall's voice loses focus for a second and then he's back again. "my mum's making enough food for an army. when are you and lou going to be by?"
"oh shit, right," harry didn't forget, he didn't (he did. louis usually keeps him on track of things like this). "i didn't forget. right."
"no pork, then?"
"no but look," harry checks his rearview and pulls over into the turning lane, to get into the school. "ni, i don't think zayn is going to-"
"okay, mate!" niall yells, distracted, down the line. "love you too! see you tonight!"
"no niall i-"
"love you!" niall hangs up the phone.
harry shakes his head, sighing, and tosses his phone into the cup holder. he drives up to the parking lot, jimmying into the area next to the main doors that you're not supposed to park in, and sighs.
a second later louis slips into the passenger seat looking tired.
"hey, love," he greets, leaning over to press a quick kiss to harry's lips. he gestures to the phone with his chin. "was that zayn?"
"niall."
"what was he-"
"-the barbeque at his."
"aw, damn it," louis shifts around in the seat, pulling the visor down to check the beanie on his head. he pulls his ipod out of the pocket of his sweats and plugs it into harry's radio thing. "shit. forgot about that."
"i didn't," harry says, because this is his moment to shine. "did you see liam? how was he?"
"he came in a minute before the exam was set to start and left as soon as it ended," louis says, frowning. he fidgets with his ipod until undercover martyn begins playing (harry smiles). "so obviously. like."
"they broke up."
"yeah."
"shit," harry drags a hand through his hair. "when's the last time you saw zayn?"
"mandy soloman's party last week, when you were being a little jealous bitch," louis puts his feet up on the dashboard and stretches out.
"i was not being - i was not jealous."
"when keele brook asked me to dance i actually thought you were going to shove your cup down his throat."
harry rolls his eye but mutters, "i hate that guy."
"anyways," louis says grandly, rolling down the windows and laying an arm out. "i have no fucking idea of how to fix this. or if they're even going to niall's. separately or together or what have you."
"they have to go to niall's it's-"
"-tradition, i know," louis slides his sunglasses on his face and suddenly harry's mouth is a little drier than before. "but i've never seen liam look as bad as he did. it's as if he didn't sleep at all last night."
"god," harry really should start driving, there's a woman behind him trying to pick up her son and she looks mad. "this is off putting."
"tell me about it."
"i don't even feel in the mood for end-of-exams sex," harry grumbles, pulling out of the parking lane and driving towards the exit. he scratches his chin. "almost."
louis raises his eyebrow.
harry gives a sexy (niall's called it sleazy before but harry resents that) look.
"your mum home?"
"nope."
-
the problem, harry thinks as he presses kiss after kiss onto louis' ridiculous body, is that zayn and liam were the glue of the group.
they held everything afloat. a world without zaynandliam was like a world without the colour purple and bananas and cute babies. a world without hickeys and kisses and louis' mouth.
a world without happiness.
plus, harry mentally grumbles as he snaps his hips a bit harder into louis' body, where the fuck were they going to get a new couple to double date with?
-
"pros and cons?" louis asks sometime later, after harry closes the blinds over his windows and they're lying together under his sheets.
"of-" harry's confused. "of the sex we just had? why-"
"harold," louis sighs. "no. that would just be a pro list. no cons to speak of."
harry laughs. "yeah, baby."
"pros and cons of liam and zayn no longer being together?"
"pros," harry says aloud, his eyebrows drawing together as he tries to think of any. "they won't kiss in front of us anymore? no couple to compete with for cuteness?"
"psh, they were never competition," louis drawls out, his head on harry's chest. he's got his eyes closed and it's really, really nice. "cons?"
"our friend group is going to fall apart," harry counts the freckles on louis' nose. "all our plans for the summer are ruined. niall's probably going to cry. liam probably is crying. zayn is definitely crying."
"harry," louis' voice sounds a little wrecked and harry tries his absolute hardest not to smirk because he takes full fucking credit for that. "what are we going to do?"
"i don't-"
"it's our last summer," louis pushes himself up onto his elbows, leaning over harry with his eyes all wide and blue and pretty. "we can't let this happen."
"we'll figure something out," harry says, trying not to be distracted by louis' swollen lips. "everything will be fine."
louis purses his lips, looking unsure, but harry decides to take action and rolls them over, attaching his lips to louis'.
maybe, he thinks wildly, if they ignore the breakup it'll go away.
-
it doesn't go away.
-
harry and louis arrive at niall's just after five thirty. louis' in harry's jeans (rolled up at the ankle) and harry's shirt (tucked into the jeans) and harry's coat (draped over him in a way that makes harry feel all kinds of tingly things).
"let's go over the plan again," louis says as they walk up to the porch, hands intertwined. his mouth is set and he keeps flicking his fringe out of his eyes. "if we see liam you…"
"immediately push him into the nearest loo and interrogate him," harry replies, shifting his feet as they stop at the door. "unless he looks like he's just been crying, in which case you…?"
"take him up to niall's room or to the car," louis nods seriously. "unless i'm already in one of them with zayn, in which case we will work around it."
"we'll get to the bottom of this, lou," harry pushes his hair off his forehead and wrinkles his nose up. he feels like a sneeze is coming on. "everything will be fine."
"right."
"god, are we the best friends ever or what?"
"the best."
"damn right," harry sets his shoulders and then presses the doorbell.
they hear a jaunty melody through the door. louis leans his head on harry's shoulder and smiles up at him.
"i know this sounds shitty, but i'm glad that we're not - you know, that we're-"
"no, i know," harry grins a bit, because they're always on the same page and he's so in love it's actually hard to breathe sometimes. "i'm selfishly glad it wasn't us either."
"we're such selfish assholes."
"we're the worst."
"hiya!" niall greets with a big grin as he pulls the door open. "you're here early!"
harry sneezes. he mentally kicks himself for not bringing his hay fever pills.
"well we didn't want a repeat of last year," louis says, smiling at niall while he rubs harry's lower back gently.
(the year before harry had promised louis he would bake cupcakes for the event before picking him up. he'd fallen asleep while watching friends instead, and had only awoken when louis had knocked on his front door, drenched from the pouring rain, with a scowl on his face.)
(they ended up buying tesco cupcakes and didn't talk for a couple hours.)
niall steps aside and lets them both through, big smile practically ripping his face in two. he prattles on about exams and food and things while louis gets his shoes off.
"-and then i said to ms peters, 'well you can fucking forget that because i'm not a chemistry genius!' and she didn't take that well. so then i-"
harry nods absentmindedly while niall leads them through the house, one of his hands on louis' waist. it's a cosy place, the walls crowded with picture after picture of niall and his brother greg going through life.
just as they're about to enter the kitchen however, niall drags them both into a tiny loo with a wide-eyed look.
"so," he says when they're all shoved in, niall himself sitting on the toilet. "what's this about zayn and liam?"
louis sighs and jumps up onto the counter, putting his feet into the sink.
"i thought you didn't know!" harry says, awkwardly standing in the middle until louis takes pity on him and lets him lean on the counter, chin on louis' shoulder. "you didn't mention it at all when-"
"nah, i found out last night," niall pulls a chocolate bar out of his pocket. "zayn called and asked if i had any weed on me."
harry blinks. he feels louis nod next to him. niall nods too, solemnly.
harry blinks again, feeling like an idiot. and then wrinkles his brow when niall doesn't continue, not quite getting it.
"and…?" he asks hesitantly.
"zayn never smokes when liam's around," louis tells him, voice sad. "only when he's on holiday, but since liam's not going on holiday one can assume… well."
niall shakes his head. "really can't believe it though."
"it's weird," louis frowns. it doesn't look nice on him, louis' face doesn't suit a frown. "they wouldn't break over nothing, you know? it has to be something massive but i don't know what would have set liam off so much that they-"
"who says it's liam's doing?" harry asks, taking his chin off louis' shoulder. "just as likely to be zayn's problem. actually, it's more likely-"
"why is it more likely to be zayn's fault?" louis turns his head to meet harry's eyes and they look a bit dangerous. "just because liam's a golden boy-"
"woah there," niall interjects, standing up (his chocolate bar is completely gone but there's a smudge of chocolate on his nose). "don't you two get into a fight over this, that's the last thing we need."
"right," harry exhales, forcing his shoulders to relax, and kisses louis on the temple. "sorry, babe."
"don't worry about it," louis takes his feet out of the sink, checking his hair in the mirror briefly. harry kisses the top of his head and helps him off the counter. "i'm just being protective over zaynie."
"i know," harry knows because he's the same about liam. his mum and liam's had gone to the same gym when they were pregnant and had made fast friends with one another. they're sort of brothers now, which basically means that liam smacks harry upside the head a lot and harry rolls his eyes at everything liam says, but harry would murder anyone who said a bad word about him.
it's a complicated relationship but it works.
"okay lads," niall stands from the toilet, straightening out the snapback that literally never leaves his head. "this is the nfl and we came to play."
-
harry, quite literally, bumps directly into liam while he's eating his second hamburger of the night.
"jesus fucking murphy, watch where you're going mate-" harry shouts, ketchup getting all down his chin. he looks up frowning (and probably doing that weird thing with his eyebrow that louis always laughs at) only to see a pale faced liam looking back at him.
they stand in silence for a full second before harry snaps back into action.
"liam!" he shouts and then scolds himself, forgetting the incognito plan already. "liam!" he whispers loudly instead, grabbing liam's arm. "liam. you and i need to have a conversation."
"no, harry," liam's voice is all cracky and sad. "i just came here to say hello to niall's mum and then leave, okay? i really don't want to do this tonight."
"well maybe if you'd returned my phone calls we could have done this in the morning."
"i don't want to do it today. period."
"well we have to talk about it liam."
"no we don't."
"le-yum," harry's trying his hardest not to get frustrated but liam frustrates the hell out of him. "you need to talk to someone."
"can you please just leave it-"
"no, i actually cannot-"
"babe?" louis' voice comes from behind harry, and he turns to see louis standing with a lemonade and an arched eyebrow. "everything okay?"
"definitely," harry says, sounding more confident than he is. he spins back around and gives liam a look when he notices how liam's trying to inch away. "you stay where you are, payne."
"hello liam," louis sidles up next to harry with a smile, his eyes soft as he takes in liam. "i'd apologize for him, but you know him better than i do."
"unfortunately," liam says back, his voice entirely too serious for harry's liking.
"no need for that."
"you- jesus," louis sighs loud and drawn out. "you have ketchup on your chin harry, honestly."
harry watches as louis rises up a bit on his tiptoes and drags his thumb across the ketchup on harry's chin, eyes narrowed slightly as he cleans it up. harry rolls his eyes. louis rolls his right back.
"i think-" liam croaks and harry turns to him with wide eyes. liam looks paler than before. "i think i'm going to go home. give niall my best, yeah?"
"no, lee-" harry reaches out to grab liam's shoulder. he's had to not be coupley with louis around people before, it shouldn't be a strain to keep it together for a minute. "sorry, that was awful of us. i'm sorry about that."
"sorry liam," louis says as well, a little frown on his face. he leans into harry's ear. "i'll be over with aiden, if you need me."
harry feels him walk away, and then looks up at poor sad little liam. he keeps blinking and coughing and harry wants to wrap him up in a duvet and never let him go.
"come on," he says in his most gentle of voices. "let's go to my car and talk it out, okay?"
-
liam caught zayn kissing some girl at mandy soloman's party.
so.
right.
"okay," harry can't quite believe what he's hearing. he's liam's friend first, always would be, but he's known zayn really well since the second week of year 8 when he worked up the nerve to finally ask his lifelong crush (louis, it's always been louis) out.
"okay," maybe if harry keeps saying it then everything will actually become okay. "know that i am one hundred percent your best friend and i love you and trust you but… are you sure it was him? and like, that it was what you think it is?"
liam raises his head from his hands, eyes all rimmed red and awful looking, and nods.
"shit," harry turns a bit in his driver's seat, the steering wheel awkward around his legs. he bites his lip. "okay. did he say anything to you? before? afterwards?"
it takes liam a couple tries before he can talk but when he does his voice is like sandpaper. "we were in a fight already, about school next year. and how we all planned to move to london together and get a flatshare but then he was bailing on it, and every time i asked he would push me away. and then i saw him - and then he - and then he kissed her-"
"fast forward," harry says and then thinks that he's pretty rubbish at this part of friendship. "after it. did he - i mean, there's no excuse for it, there never is, but did he try and explain or-"
"he told he was an asshole," liam says. "he told me that i deserved better. and then he left the party. i tried to call him but he kept ignoring me. he came over yesterday with a box full of my - of my stuff and -"
"oh no," harry sighs, reaching over to let liam rest his head on his shoulder. the last time liam cried like this was when they were five and harry was the only one at his birthday party. "you're going to okay, liam, this is going to be okay."
"how the hell do you know that?" liam asks, voice angry under the nasal, crying voice he has. "you've been with one person your entire life, harry, you're not exactly sound at giving breakup advice."
"hey," harry says, a little wounded.
"it's true."
"it's not - well it's not my fault-"
"louis would never hurt you," liam sounds spiteful, angry. it's weird.
"there was that one time-" harry stops himself because right now is not about him, and it's definitely not about his (practically) bulletproof relationship with louis. "look, how about i take you home, okay? you can eat some soup and have a shower and watch the kardashians."
liam looks back towards the house and then nods.
"you're going to be okay, liam," harry whispers into liam's hair before shifting around in his seat so he can start the car (he keeps his arm around liam the whole time). "i promise."
-
by the time harry gets back to niall's house he's absolutely livid.
he doesn't get angry very often. louis often jokes about how jealous harry gets over small things (although danny white walking louis to class with his hand around louis' waist in year 10 was not a small thing) but he rarely loses his cool. he's a calm person by nature and doesn't let things faze him.
there's only four people in the world that matter to harry more than anything: his mother, his sister, louis, and liam.
he is literally seeing red.
"have you seen louis?" he asks to the first person he sees when he gets onto niall's patio. it isn't until he looks over, trying to calm his expression into one of serenity, that he notices it's keele brook.
"hm?" keele asks, eyes all lit up while he drinks a can of pepsi. "louis?"
harry wants to break him in half. he holds it in barely.
"yes," he grits out. today is not the day.
"i think i saw him go upstairs with zayn awhile ago," keele tells him.
"thanks," harry grumbles, taking off into the house before keele is even finished. he clomps up the stairs and tries to take calming breaths; he's not sure it's healthy to be turning as warm as he is, chest rising and falling entirely too fast; he feels like he's just run a race.
niall's door is shut and harry doesn't bother knocking before he's pulling it open.
louis and zayn are on the bed. louis' sitting sideways with one legs up, the other swaying of the end; zayn's sitting facing forward, leaning on his knees with his elbows, his head in his hands.
harry, quickly, thinks that zayn looks almost as bad as liam, before he's thundering in the room and yelling as loud as he can.
"who the fuck do you think you are?" he asks, his own voice sounding not unlike a stranger's.
louis hops off the bed, standing in front of harry before harry can wring zayn's neck with his bare hands.
"harry you need to leave," louis tells him.
"i need to leave?" he asks, incredulous. he glares down at zayn, zayn, his friend zayn. "i think you need to rethink that thought."
"and i think that you need to go downstairs, get in your car, and go home," louis says in a voice that's entirely too patronizing. harry flicks his eyes down to him angrily. "the party's nearly done anyways, and i'm going back to zayn's so you don't need to-"
"so you're taking his side then?" harry watches as zayn stands up, awkward and red eyed behind louis. "you're just going to accept that he cheated on liam-"
"go home, harry," louis voice is getting tight, which means that he's angry too but he doesn't want to let it over power him. "please go home."
"seriously, lou?"
"harry-"
"you're honestly taking his side."
"i am not taking anyone's side," louis says, which is his way of saying yes.
harry shakes his head. "unbelievable."
"don't give me that."
"i can't believe you."
"you don't know both sides-"
"and you do? oh, wait-"
"look, harry, i know you're smart, but you don't know everything."
"oh fuck off," harry growls.
"excuse me?" louis looks shocked and pissed and hurt.
harry can't remember the last time they fought, can't remember the last time they screamed at each other and kicked up a huge fuss. he can't remember but his body is tensed like it does, tensed and ready to say anything that would make louis even madder.
"fuck off with your patronizing comments," he spits out, feeling so unlike himself. "and you-" he points to where zayn is still standing "-can stop feeling sorry for yourself any time."
"get out of this house," louis says, voice cold.
"fucking gladly," harry turns on his heel and bolts down the stairs, feeling hot and heavy and like shit quite frankly.
he runs into niall on his way to the door.
"woah," niall's wearing a kiss me i'm irish! apron and holding a platter of shrimp. harry can't have this conversation right now. "where are you going? i heard yelling from the kitchen, is everything-"
"it's fine," harry bites his lip and then takes two deep breaths. "everything is perfectly fine. don't worry about it."
"harry?" niall looks up at the staircase and then raises his eyebrows. "no offence but you don't really look fine. is it liam? zayn?"
"both. no, zayn," harry sighs. "no it's - it's just me. i got upset. it's my own fault."
"okay…" niall looks a bit lost and then holds out the platter. "shrimp?"
"i'm good thanks," harry doesn't really like shrimp, they feel like eyeballs on his tongue. "i think i'm just going to head home."
"alright mate," niall sounds a little confused and tired. he stuffs two shrimp in his mouth and chews loudly. "just let me know when we're leaving for the camping trip this weekend."
shit, harry forgot about that too (a little voice in his head tells him louis probably didn't but he tells it to shut the fuck up). "of course, yeah. i'm sure everything will be cleared up by then."
the longest harry and louis have ever fought for was two weeks in year 10 when louis parents were about to split and harry was in over his head about school and work and his own family problems and they couldn't handle it anymore. as soon as they both finished their gcses they were back together (and making out literally every where they could find. it was great).
the longest time zayn and liam ever fought for was exactly three hours when liam told zayn that he had to go to the athletic banquet with someone who was actually involved in sports and zayn sulked and was all moody until liam told him that he was going to go as louis' date and then everyone was fine.
so yes. harry has high hopes.
"everything will just blow right on over!" niall agrees happily.
-
everything does not just blow right on over.
-
harry walks over to louis' house the next morning with a tupperware full of cupcakes (all iced with i'm sorry and i luv u and messy drawings of louis' face). louis answers the door all sleepy and cute and still a bit pissed.
"i'm sorry i'm such an asshole," harry tells him and louis huffs a bit but eventually lets him in.
louis' kitchen is bright and sunny. the fridge is littered with drawings from his twin sisters and harry snaps a picture that phoebe drew of a (phenomenal, really) dragon at an amusement park.
"these are really delicious," louis says, lying back in a kitchen chair with his feet up in harry's lap. "is that an oreo on the bottom?"
"mhm."
"delicious," louis takes another bite and a bit of icing lands on his nose. it's adorable. "you will make a very good househusband one day, styles."
harry rolls his eyes but smiles a little too brightly. when harry first met louis, back when they were about seven, he'd proposed to him. down-on-one-knee full on proposed - he even had a ring (made out of a candy wrapper, but still). louis had turned him down, which broke little harry's heart so much that he didn't pursue a relationship with louis for another six whole years.
harry secretly thinks that it'll be a great story to tell their grandchildren one day.
"are we still going camping this weekend?" louis asks a little while later when they're out in his tiny garden, lying in the sun together with harry's ipod between them (a playlist they've heard several times before, actually entitled i'm sorry louis, playing faintly). "can we?"
"it's tradition," harry shuffles himself a little bit so there isn’t a rock digging into his back anymore. he could definitely fall asleep just like this. "they can't fuck tradition."
"i guess not."
harry yawns. he squiggles a bit more. the grass is quite soft, almost exactly like his pillow back home.
"you're falling asleep aren't you?" louis sounds exasperated.
harry makes a noise.
"like a fucking cat," louis whispers, curling closer to harry. his body is warm on harry's side, hotter and brighter and better than the sun. "my little cat boy."
harry falls asleep like that; curled up next to the boy he loves best with the sound of gentle wind in one ear and i need you by the beatles in his other.
-
they're packing up harry's piece of shit car on friday night, stuffing louis' mum's tent into the backseat, when liam calls harry.
"lee!" harry greets down the line, stepping away from the tent as louis and niall both try pushing it farther down so that harry has a chance of seeing out the back while driving. "we've not got much space left in the car, you've got to get down here quick!"
"harry," liam sounds tired. "i'm not going camping."
"what? of course you are, don't be stupid."
"no, harry, i can't."
"what, are you meeting becks tonight?"
"um. no."
"then you have no valid reason to miss out on our annual end-of-the-year-let's-get-fucked-around-a-camp-fire camping trip."
"is liam not coming?" niall asks, loudly. he looks distraught. louis runs a hand through his hair.
"look, li -" harry bites his lip. "za- uh. he already texted lou, said he can't come. something about waliyha having a dance competition? he was very vague."
"no it's not-" liam takes a deep breath. harry tries to be patient. "well it is. i can't hang out with you guys, i don't want zayn to think you're taking sides!"
"we're not taking sides-"
"it would be unfair to him-"
"-and even if we were, we're picking you, you ninny-"
"you're his friends too. i don't want him to feel alienated by his own friends."
"liam," harry hates that liam's such a good person. "it's tradition. i know that four isn't five, but four is a hell of a lot better than three."
"it just- it doesn't feel right."
"that bastard better not be doing what i think he's doing," niall says, rather threateningly, his eyes narrowing.
"liam just hear me out-"
"i'm staying at my nan's place for the weekend, alright?" liam sounds all hushed and harry wants to punch him in the nose. "i'll talk to you later."
"liam!"
liam hangs up. harry considers chucking his phone across the street before louis slides a hand down his back.
"is he…?"
"no."
"because zayn is…"
"yep."
louis sighs. niall sighs. harry still wants to punch liam in the face for being such a good human being.
-
camping's weird. it's still sort of fun (niall gets drunk the first night and tries to flirt with a chipmunk that comes by to eat their marshmallows, and louis gives harry a blowjob after niall retires to the tent). they still go swimming in the shitty lake, spend the next hour picking leaches off each other, and then drink beer while telling stories round the campfire.
but their lawn bowling teams are odd numbered and they can't play pictionary and when it rains liam isn't there to freak out about water-proofing and zayn isn't around to pull a joint out from his pocket, look around with a smile and say, "shall we boys?"
it's just not the same.
-
"you haven't talked to him at all?" harry asks, hesitantly.
he's over at liam's house, still sunburnt from the weekend camping. it had proved impossible to convince liam to leave his home so harry brought over a package of microwavable popcorn and the first season of made in chelsea.
snack food and shit telly; who says harry styles doesn't know his way around someone post-breakup?
"not since, well," liam shrugs, stuffing a bunch of popcorn in his mouth. he's staring directly at where ollie is saying something to spencer. harry's seen all the episodes already (when louis went away on holiday the summer before he and nick had had a marathon) and, more importantly, his best friend is sad. he needs to fix things.
"and he hasn't tried to contact you?"
"nope."
"do you want him to contact you?" harry asks, and then feels like an idiot when liam gives him an odd look. "i mean - do you even want to work things out?"
"of course i-" liam stops himself. "i don't know. i don't know, haz, he- it really hurt."
harry pets his head and then feeds him a kernel of popcorn. liam accepts it with a sigh and crunches lightly on it.
"but," he starts and harry shifts his legs so they're on either side of liam's body, like he's trying to consume him whole and take his pain away. "i also don't want things to just end. we've been together for almost a year-" liam and zayn had decided to play the field a little before realizing they were meant to be. "-and that's a long time you know?"
"yeah," harry says, although a year isn't really a lot for him. louis and him would be celebrating five at the beginning of september. "yeah, babe, i know."
"it's just," liam sighs loudly, echoing millie on screen. harry mutes the volume without taking his eyes off liam. "i don't know what i'm supposed to do? i thought that we were actually going to make it. i thought that we could be one of those couples that make it past secondary school, but i guess not."
"hey," harry feeds liam another kernel before beginning. "remember that while i'm holding your hand and being the best friend of all time, louis is doing the same to - well. uh. he who shall not be named-"
"it's zayn, harry, not voldemort-"
"oh shut up, you don't even like harry potter," harry clears his throat. "anyways, louis' making zayn feel better. and trying to get him to discuss things. so maybe - and i'm not saying you have to get back together or anything, but maybe zayn will be able to explain some times to you. rather soon. not that's there is ever an excuse for cheating-"
"i know, i know," liam manages a half-hearted smile. "thanks, haz."
"don't worry about it," harry smacks a kiss onto liam's cheek and then feels a little disgusted after, but liam seems okay so he's clearly getting better at the whole friendship thing. "do you want some more soup?"
"yes please," liam says, curling up under the blanket that he's had sprawled over his knees and unmuting the tv.
he's not regular liam yet, and he probably wouldn't be for awhile, but he's starting to come back to harry. and that's all that matters.
-
harry goes with his mum to visit gemma's new flat in sheffield the next day, and gets home two days later.
the drive home is nice, just he and his mum, chatting and listening to music. harry blares the 1975 and makes his mum dance around a bit while they speed down the a57.
louis calls when they're only about a half hour from home, and harry's mum makes kissy noises when harry answers it.
"hey," he greets, turning the music down with one hand.
"hiya, love," louis says, his voice sweet a lovely and wonderful.
"tell him i say hello!" harry's mum shouts, and harry rolls his eyes but complies.
"hello anne!" louis says happily, and harry has to bite his lip so he doesn't smile too wide. it's entirely ridiculous to miss louis after two days, but he does (a little. louis can be rather obnoxious at times). "listen, can you come over when you get home? i found something at work at i think it might solve all our problems."
louis works in ridiculously cool used bookstore in town. harry's jealousy is only curbed by the fact that it's just around the corner from the bakery he works at.
"ugh," harry turns to his mother. "can you drop me off at louis' when we get into town?"
"your step brother is home tonight, harry," his mum reminds him, and harry can practically hear the accompanying eye roll with the sigh louis releases down the line. "full family dinner, remember?"
"but gemma's not going to be there," harry whines.
his mum silences him with a look.
"maybe tomorrow, lou?"
"yeah, yeah," louis says easily. "i've got the twins until noon, so i guess i'll see you at twelve thirty?"
"i'll bring over some sandwiches or something for lunch."
"have i mentioned recently that i love you?"
harry grins. "love you too."
"tell grimshaw i said hello," louis says dryly before hanging up.
-
robin cooks an amazing lasagne with caesar salad for the occasion. it's delicious and the dinner is fun; nick's got a million amusing stories from living in london, all more insane than the last.
they play scrabble as a family unit and then harry gets the pull out mattress for nick to put on the floor of his bedroom. nick's not thrilled about staring up at frankie all night ("she's nice enough harold, but i don't think a poster of zac efron would go amiss") but soon enough they're both tucked in for bed.
harry flops around in his bed.
nick sighs, and then he's climbing onto harry's bed, pushing harry over so he can sit up against the headboard with him.
"you've been weird all night," nick tells him, his hair all fly away and cool (gone are the curls harry can remember from a couple years ago). "what's up baby styles?"
"i'm not a baby."
"baby."
"shut up."
"is it lovely louis?" nick asks, his fingers twitching a bit like he wants a cigarette (he hasn't told the family yet, but harry saw a picture of nick smoking outside some club with lily allen). "did lovely little louis break your little heart?"
"louis and i are just fine, thank you for asking," harry knows that nick actually likes louis, despite what he says. "no it's actually. um, do you remember liam? and zayn?"
"of course, little gary barlow and his symmetrically-faced boyfriend," sometimes harry just stares at nick's mouth, amazed at how he's saying what he's saying all the time. "what, did they call it quits?"
"yeah."
nick shrugs, entirely too cool and collected about the news. "that's life."
"but-" harry pouts. "but now liam is sad. and i don't know how to - i've never been broken up before. i don't know what to do."
"that's okay," nick runs a hand through harry's hair, slinging his arm around his shoulders. "one day lovely louis will meet some fifty year old millionaire and he'll dump you-"
"oi!"
"-and he'll never have to work a day in his life and become a proper trophy husband with a sugar daddy. and then you'll join the rest of the world and become 'someone who has been dumped'."
harry smacks him in the chest. nick grabs his wrist and twists it. harry bites at his face.
they wrestle for a minute, until harry tickles nick's ribcage and nick's too busy laughing and squirming and calling harry names to attack again.
"so," harry says, panting a bit afterwards. he's spread eagle across his bed, nick at his side in a similar position. "what do you think?"
"about what?"
"liam and zayn, stupid."
"are you seriously asking me for relationship advice?"
"well you had that thing with, um," harry racks his brain. "bj? no, no, rj. yeah. you had that thing with rj."
"a one night stand with an american supermodel at coachella last year is not the same thing as a relationship."
"could be."
"take off the rose tinted glasses, sweetheart, you need a dose of the real world," nick sighs. "he was hot though."
"yeah, i saw the picture on your instagram," harry's almost glad he's never met the infamous rj because he's pretty sure louis would kick him in the bollocks on principle alone. "his cheekbones are insane."
"so is his mouth," nick says, sleazily, nudging harry in the elbow. harry rolls his eyes.
-
when harry wakes up the next morning he feels odd.
the dream he had was odd:
louis and he had just arrived at their dorm in ucl, all happy and in love and everything was perfect. but then a giant spider came along and took louis away from harry. and all of a sudden they weren't in the dorms at ucl anymore, they were in a giant castle. after harry helped some little toad people find their home, the kind of minor side tour that only occurs in dreams, he arrived at the king's throne.
at this point harry mostly forgets what happened, but he has a vivid image in his mind of louis sitting on some fat, old king's lap, smiling all pretty and saying, "well what can you expect, harry? you don't have anything to offer me."
and then harry woke up.
he frowns at frankie and then sighs.
fuck.
"hey nick?" he asks hesitantly, craning his head around so he can see to the mattress just below him.
nick sort of groans back, face smashed into his pillow. he's got one headphone in, the other strewn across his pillow, and harry can hear the muffled tones of some rap song playing from it.
"nick?" he pokes him.
"eugh," nick lifts his head slightly, opening one blearily blue eye up at harry and frowning. "the fuck do you want?"
harry shushes him with a pointed look. "do you want to wake the whole town up?"
"i don't give a shit styles," nick rolls over moving his head on the pillow so harry has to lean his head out farther to see him. "you woke me up."
"i know, sorry," harry curls his hands under his chin and tries not to frown. "it's just. that thing you said last night. you know, about. well."
"if you're talking about when i said i was going to take anne to reading festival instead of you," nick says in his 'piss the fuck off mate' voice. "then you can fuck off because you know i'll take you, you brat."
harry internally cheers, but stays on track.
"no, no, that thing about louis."
"lovely louis?" nick says sleepily, eyes closed and face smushed into his pillow. "did i say something about his arse?"
"no - well yes, of course you did, but i don't mean that," harry scolds and then sighs. "do you really think that he's going to meet some sugar daddy? i mean, he's so fit and smart and wonderful and it's just-"
"jesus christ-"
"well, why wouldn't some rich bloke want to be with louis?" harry pouts. "if i were a millionaire i would want louis to be my gold digging fiancé."
"i was joking-"
"i know, but that doesn't mean that we won't -" harry bites his lip. "things are already changing. i don't want anything else to. i don't want me and louis to change at all."
"i hate to break this to you, love, honestly i do," nick opens one hazel eye and gives him a pitying look. "but things are going to change whether you want to or not. that's how life works."
"but-"
"no buts," nick waves his arm around. harry genuinely tries to work out why he's such a big deal in london. "you and louis might stay together until you're both ninety, or you might be broken up this time next year. welcome to life. unpredictable. exciting."
"shitty."
"maybe shitty," nick agrees. "but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go out and like, kill it. live it up. party. be self indulgent baby styles, you've only got a few more years left of getting away with that."
"thanks nick, really. sound advice."
"fuck off," nick says cheerily before turning onto his side, sticking his other headphone in, and snoring too loud and annoying for it to be real.
2/2
author: mozarts-piano
rating & warnings: pg-14 for swearing and mentions of sexual activity between two male characters.
AU for: the goonies
summary: liam and zayn break up at the start of their very last summer before university and it's the end of the world.
word count: 15,000
author's note: there's a lot more ridiculous, unnecessary plot - that has nothing to do with the original plot of the goonies - than adventure. i apologize for that.
written for reel-1d
harry gets a call at 2:19 on a wednesday morning.
"wha?" he drools into the phone, squinting at the alarm clock on his bedside table. he's not impressed. really not impressed.
"check facebook," louis says down the line.
"louis," harry groans, rolling over onto his stiff back and trying not to cry. "louis. louis. no. no. no louis-"
"it'll take five seconds i-"
"no, no, no, no, no-"
"harry don't be a child-"
"i will hang up on you-"
"harry," he's got his no nonsense voice on now, which is commanding and hot as hell. "i know you've got your bloody laptop next to you, just log on and see what i'm seeing."
he sighs. long and hard.
louis just waits patiently down the line before saying, in a calm voice, "do you have it?"
"yes," harry grumbles as he swoops to the ground beneath his bed and heaves his laptop up onto the space next to him, eyes bleary. "if i told you i hated you would you believe me?"
louis hums in a vague sort of way and harry can hear his fingers clacking on his own keyboard down the line.
"don't you have an exam tomorrow?" harry asks as he types in his password left handed, his right scraping a bit of sleep out from his eye. "shouldn't you be sleeping?"
"it's for biology and i sit next to cordy bluth in biology," louis says breezily. "and cordy bluth would do just about anything to get into my pants, including turning his page into my eyeline, so i don't need a good night's rest."
"i don't like him."
"i know pumpkin. now hurry up, would you?"
harry mutters cordy bluth's name with narrowed eyes (the slimy git) before quickly bringing up facebook. he scrolls through his cousin's new baby pictures - clicking to like one quick - and some status about someone's work and a shared picture of a scene from the little mermaid. he's about to holler down the line at louis, wondering why the hell he called him at such a late hour for nothing, when he sees it.
Liam Payne went from being "in a relationship" to "single".
"holy shit."
"i know."
"holy shit."
louis sighs. "i know."
harry takes a deep breath. rubs his eyes a bit and then groans.
"what the fuck are we going to do?"
harry flops back onto the bed and tries to take some calming breaths.
"how real is this?" he asks, staring up at the frankie sandford poster on his ceiling (that louis scoffs at every time he's over). "have you talked to zayn or-"
"i've texted him," louis sounds like he's biting his lip. "no reply though. i'm really worried."
"they can't break up though," harry shakes his head, and then blows the hair out of his eyes. he needs a haircut. "they can't. they wouldn't. it's crazy to even think about it."
"harry."
"i think i'm going into shock?" harry closes his eyes, blinks a bit. "definitely going into shock."
"we'll talk about this tomorrow, okay?" louis says, voice quiet now. "i'll see liam in biology, and then afterwards - are you still picking me up?"
harry makes a noise in the affirmative and louis continues.
"i'll tell you what i know then, okay?"
"lou?"
"yeah?"
"this is going to fuck everything up," harry says, and then clears his throat. he feels weird.
"i know," louis sighs. "i love you."
"love you too," harry whispers before ending the call.
he looks up at frankie. he turns his head to the side so he can just make out the large cork board over his desk, covered in pictures of his friends since childhood. if he squints he could see the one of zayn and liam kissing at one of louis' football games while niall pretended to throw up on them.
"shit," he sighs to himself.
-
niall calls him on his way to pick up louis at the school.
"haz!" he yells down the line, voice blurred up by what is probably salt and vinegar crisps. "remind me again, zayn doesn't eat ham? pork?"
"um," harry slows down for the light and frowns. "just no pig in general actually. why are - what's this about?"
"the barbeque at mine, remember?" niall's voice loses focus for a second and then he's back again. "my mum's making enough food for an army. when are you and lou going to be by?"
"oh shit, right," harry didn't forget, he didn't (he did. louis usually keeps him on track of things like this). "i didn't forget. right."
"no pork, then?"
"no but look," harry checks his rearview and pulls over into the turning lane, to get into the school. "ni, i don't think zayn is going to-"
"okay, mate!" niall yells, distracted, down the line. "love you too! see you tonight!"
"no niall i-"
"love you!" niall hangs up the phone.
harry shakes his head, sighing, and tosses his phone into the cup holder. he drives up to the parking lot, jimmying into the area next to the main doors that you're not supposed to park in, and sighs.
a second later louis slips into the passenger seat looking tired.
"hey, love," he greets, leaning over to press a quick kiss to harry's lips. he gestures to the phone with his chin. "was that zayn?"
"niall."
"what was he-"
"-the barbeque at his."
"aw, damn it," louis shifts around in the seat, pulling the visor down to check the beanie on his head. he pulls his ipod out of the pocket of his sweats and plugs it into harry's radio thing. "shit. forgot about that."
"i didn't," harry says, because this is his moment to shine. "did you see liam? how was he?"
"he came in a minute before the exam was set to start and left as soon as it ended," louis says, frowning. he fidgets with his ipod until undercover martyn begins playing (harry smiles). "so obviously. like."
"they broke up."
"yeah."
"shit," harry drags a hand through his hair. "when's the last time you saw zayn?"
"mandy soloman's party last week, when you were being a little jealous bitch," louis puts his feet up on the dashboard and stretches out.
"i was not being - i was not jealous."
"when keele brook asked me to dance i actually thought you were going to shove your cup down his throat."
harry rolls his eye but mutters, "i hate that guy."
"anyways," louis says grandly, rolling down the windows and laying an arm out. "i have no fucking idea of how to fix this. or if they're even going to niall's. separately or together or what have you."
"they have to go to niall's it's-"
"-tradition, i know," louis slides his sunglasses on his face and suddenly harry's mouth is a little drier than before. "but i've never seen liam look as bad as he did. it's as if he didn't sleep at all last night."
"god," harry really should start driving, there's a woman behind him trying to pick up her son and she looks mad. "this is off putting."
"tell me about it."
"i don't even feel in the mood for end-of-exams sex," harry grumbles, pulling out of the parking lane and driving towards the exit. he scratches his chin. "almost."
louis raises his eyebrow.
harry gives a sexy (niall's called it sleazy before but harry resents that) look.
"your mum home?"
"nope."
-
the problem, harry thinks as he presses kiss after kiss onto louis' ridiculous body, is that zayn and liam were the glue of the group.
they held everything afloat. a world without zaynandliam was like a world without the colour purple and bananas and cute babies. a world without hickeys and kisses and louis' mouth.
a world without happiness.
plus, harry mentally grumbles as he snaps his hips a bit harder into louis' body, where the fuck were they going to get a new couple to double date with?
-
"pros and cons?" louis asks sometime later, after harry closes the blinds over his windows and they're lying together under his sheets.
"of-" harry's confused. "of the sex we just had? why-"
"harold," louis sighs. "no. that would just be a pro list. no cons to speak of."
harry laughs. "yeah, baby."
"pros and cons of liam and zayn no longer being together?"
"pros," harry says aloud, his eyebrows drawing together as he tries to think of any. "they won't kiss in front of us anymore? no couple to compete with for cuteness?"
"psh, they were never competition," louis drawls out, his head on harry's chest. he's got his eyes closed and it's really, really nice. "cons?"
"our friend group is going to fall apart," harry counts the freckles on louis' nose. "all our plans for the summer are ruined. niall's probably going to cry. liam probably is crying. zayn is definitely crying."
"harry," louis' voice sounds a little wrecked and harry tries his absolute hardest not to smirk because he takes full fucking credit for that. "what are we going to do?"
"i don't-"
"it's our last summer," louis pushes himself up onto his elbows, leaning over harry with his eyes all wide and blue and pretty. "we can't let this happen."
"we'll figure something out," harry says, trying not to be distracted by louis' swollen lips. "everything will be fine."
louis purses his lips, looking unsure, but harry decides to take action and rolls them over, attaching his lips to louis'.
maybe, he thinks wildly, if they ignore the breakup it'll go away.
-
it doesn't go away.
-
harry and louis arrive at niall's just after five thirty. louis' in harry's jeans (rolled up at the ankle) and harry's shirt (tucked into the jeans) and harry's coat (draped over him in a way that makes harry feel all kinds of tingly things).
"let's go over the plan again," louis says as they walk up to the porch, hands intertwined. his mouth is set and he keeps flicking his fringe out of his eyes. "if we see liam you…"
"immediately push him into the nearest loo and interrogate him," harry replies, shifting his feet as they stop at the door. "unless he looks like he's just been crying, in which case you…?"
"take him up to niall's room or to the car," louis nods seriously. "unless i'm already in one of them with zayn, in which case we will work around it."
"we'll get to the bottom of this, lou," harry pushes his hair off his forehead and wrinkles his nose up. he feels like a sneeze is coming on. "everything will be fine."
"right."
"god, are we the best friends ever or what?"
"the best."
"damn right," harry sets his shoulders and then presses the doorbell.
they hear a jaunty melody through the door. louis leans his head on harry's shoulder and smiles up at him.
"i know this sounds shitty, but i'm glad that we're not - you know, that we're-"
"no, i know," harry grins a bit, because they're always on the same page and he's so in love it's actually hard to breathe sometimes. "i'm selfishly glad it wasn't us either."
"we're such selfish assholes."
"we're the worst."
"hiya!" niall greets with a big grin as he pulls the door open. "you're here early!"
harry sneezes. he mentally kicks himself for not bringing his hay fever pills.
"well we didn't want a repeat of last year," louis says, smiling at niall while he rubs harry's lower back gently.
(the year before harry had promised louis he would bake cupcakes for the event before picking him up. he'd fallen asleep while watching friends instead, and had only awoken when louis had knocked on his front door, drenched from the pouring rain, with a scowl on his face.)
(they ended up buying tesco cupcakes and didn't talk for a couple hours.)
niall steps aside and lets them both through, big smile practically ripping his face in two. he prattles on about exams and food and things while louis gets his shoes off.
"-and then i said to ms peters, 'well you can fucking forget that because i'm not a chemistry genius!' and she didn't take that well. so then i-"
harry nods absentmindedly while niall leads them through the house, one of his hands on louis' waist. it's a cosy place, the walls crowded with picture after picture of niall and his brother greg going through life.
just as they're about to enter the kitchen however, niall drags them both into a tiny loo with a wide-eyed look.
"so," he says when they're all shoved in, niall himself sitting on the toilet. "what's this about zayn and liam?"
louis sighs and jumps up onto the counter, putting his feet into the sink.
"i thought you didn't know!" harry says, awkwardly standing in the middle until louis takes pity on him and lets him lean on the counter, chin on louis' shoulder. "you didn't mention it at all when-"
"nah, i found out last night," niall pulls a chocolate bar out of his pocket. "zayn called and asked if i had any weed on me."
harry blinks. he feels louis nod next to him. niall nods too, solemnly.
harry blinks again, feeling like an idiot. and then wrinkles his brow when niall doesn't continue, not quite getting it.
"and…?" he asks hesitantly.
"zayn never smokes when liam's around," louis tells him, voice sad. "only when he's on holiday, but since liam's not going on holiday one can assume… well."
niall shakes his head. "really can't believe it though."
"it's weird," louis frowns. it doesn't look nice on him, louis' face doesn't suit a frown. "they wouldn't break over nothing, you know? it has to be something massive but i don't know what would have set liam off so much that they-"
"who says it's liam's doing?" harry asks, taking his chin off louis' shoulder. "just as likely to be zayn's problem. actually, it's more likely-"
"why is it more likely to be zayn's fault?" louis turns his head to meet harry's eyes and they look a bit dangerous. "just because liam's a golden boy-"
"woah there," niall interjects, standing up (his chocolate bar is completely gone but there's a smudge of chocolate on his nose). "don't you two get into a fight over this, that's the last thing we need."
"right," harry exhales, forcing his shoulders to relax, and kisses louis on the temple. "sorry, babe."
"don't worry about it," louis takes his feet out of the sink, checking his hair in the mirror briefly. harry kisses the top of his head and helps him off the counter. "i'm just being protective over zaynie."
"i know," harry knows because he's the same about liam. his mum and liam's had gone to the same gym when they were pregnant and had made fast friends with one another. they're sort of brothers now, which basically means that liam smacks harry upside the head a lot and harry rolls his eyes at everything liam says, but harry would murder anyone who said a bad word about him.
it's a complicated relationship but it works.
"okay lads," niall stands from the toilet, straightening out the snapback that literally never leaves his head. "this is the nfl and we came to play."
-
harry, quite literally, bumps directly into liam while he's eating his second hamburger of the night.
"jesus fucking murphy, watch where you're going mate-" harry shouts, ketchup getting all down his chin. he looks up frowning (and probably doing that weird thing with his eyebrow that louis always laughs at) only to see a pale faced liam looking back at him.
they stand in silence for a full second before harry snaps back into action.
"liam!" he shouts and then scolds himself, forgetting the incognito plan already. "liam!" he whispers loudly instead, grabbing liam's arm. "liam. you and i need to have a conversation."
"no, harry," liam's voice is all cracky and sad. "i just came here to say hello to niall's mum and then leave, okay? i really don't want to do this tonight."
"well maybe if you'd returned my phone calls we could have done this in the morning."
"i don't want to do it today. period."
"well we have to talk about it liam."
"no we don't."
"le-yum," harry's trying his hardest not to get frustrated but liam frustrates the hell out of him. "you need to talk to someone."
"can you please just leave it-"
"no, i actually cannot-"
"babe?" louis' voice comes from behind harry, and he turns to see louis standing with a lemonade and an arched eyebrow. "everything okay?"
"definitely," harry says, sounding more confident than he is. he spins back around and gives liam a look when he notices how liam's trying to inch away. "you stay where you are, payne."
"hello liam," louis sidles up next to harry with a smile, his eyes soft as he takes in liam. "i'd apologize for him, but you know him better than i do."
"unfortunately," liam says back, his voice entirely too serious for harry's liking.
"no need for that."
"you- jesus," louis sighs loud and drawn out. "you have ketchup on your chin harry, honestly."
harry watches as louis rises up a bit on his tiptoes and drags his thumb across the ketchup on harry's chin, eyes narrowed slightly as he cleans it up. harry rolls his eyes. louis rolls his right back.
"i think-" liam croaks and harry turns to him with wide eyes. liam looks paler than before. "i think i'm going to go home. give niall my best, yeah?"
"no, lee-" harry reaches out to grab liam's shoulder. he's had to not be coupley with louis around people before, it shouldn't be a strain to keep it together for a minute. "sorry, that was awful of us. i'm sorry about that."
"sorry liam," louis says as well, a little frown on his face. he leans into harry's ear. "i'll be over with aiden, if you need me."
harry feels him walk away, and then looks up at poor sad little liam. he keeps blinking and coughing and harry wants to wrap him up in a duvet and never let him go.
"come on," he says in his most gentle of voices. "let's go to my car and talk it out, okay?"
-
liam caught zayn kissing some girl at mandy soloman's party.
so.
right.
"okay," harry can't quite believe what he's hearing. he's liam's friend first, always would be, but he's known zayn really well since the second week of year 8 when he worked up the nerve to finally ask his lifelong crush (louis, it's always been louis) out.
"okay," maybe if harry keeps saying it then everything will actually become okay. "know that i am one hundred percent your best friend and i love you and trust you but… are you sure it was him? and like, that it was what you think it is?"
liam raises his head from his hands, eyes all rimmed red and awful looking, and nods.
"shit," harry turns a bit in his driver's seat, the steering wheel awkward around his legs. he bites his lip. "okay. did he say anything to you? before? afterwards?"
it takes liam a couple tries before he can talk but when he does his voice is like sandpaper. "we were in a fight already, about school next year. and how we all planned to move to london together and get a flatshare but then he was bailing on it, and every time i asked he would push me away. and then i saw him - and then he - and then he kissed her-"
"fast forward," harry says and then thinks that he's pretty rubbish at this part of friendship. "after it. did he - i mean, there's no excuse for it, there never is, but did he try and explain or-"
"he told he was an asshole," liam says. "he told me that i deserved better. and then he left the party. i tried to call him but he kept ignoring me. he came over yesterday with a box full of my - of my stuff and -"
"oh no," harry sighs, reaching over to let liam rest his head on his shoulder. the last time liam cried like this was when they were five and harry was the only one at his birthday party. "you're going to okay, liam, this is going to be okay."
"how the hell do you know that?" liam asks, voice angry under the nasal, crying voice he has. "you've been with one person your entire life, harry, you're not exactly sound at giving breakup advice."
"hey," harry says, a little wounded.
"it's true."
"it's not - well it's not my fault-"
"louis would never hurt you," liam sounds spiteful, angry. it's weird.
"there was that one time-" harry stops himself because right now is not about him, and it's definitely not about his (practically) bulletproof relationship with louis. "look, how about i take you home, okay? you can eat some soup and have a shower and watch the kardashians."
liam looks back towards the house and then nods.
"you're going to be okay, liam," harry whispers into liam's hair before shifting around in his seat so he can start the car (he keeps his arm around liam the whole time). "i promise."
-
by the time harry gets back to niall's house he's absolutely livid.
he doesn't get angry very often. louis often jokes about how jealous harry gets over small things (although danny white walking louis to class with his hand around louis' waist in year 10 was not a small thing) but he rarely loses his cool. he's a calm person by nature and doesn't let things faze him.
there's only four people in the world that matter to harry more than anything: his mother, his sister, louis, and liam.
he is literally seeing red.
"have you seen louis?" he asks to the first person he sees when he gets onto niall's patio. it isn't until he looks over, trying to calm his expression into one of serenity, that he notices it's keele brook.
"hm?" keele asks, eyes all lit up while he drinks a can of pepsi. "louis?"
harry wants to break him in half. he holds it in barely.
"yes," he grits out. today is not the day.
"i think i saw him go upstairs with zayn awhile ago," keele tells him.
"thanks," harry grumbles, taking off into the house before keele is even finished. he clomps up the stairs and tries to take calming breaths; he's not sure it's healthy to be turning as warm as he is, chest rising and falling entirely too fast; he feels like he's just run a race.
niall's door is shut and harry doesn't bother knocking before he's pulling it open.
louis and zayn are on the bed. louis' sitting sideways with one legs up, the other swaying of the end; zayn's sitting facing forward, leaning on his knees with his elbows, his head in his hands.
harry, quickly, thinks that zayn looks almost as bad as liam, before he's thundering in the room and yelling as loud as he can.
"who the fuck do you think you are?" he asks, his own voice sounding not unlike a stranger's.
louis hops off the bed, standing in front of harry before harry can wring zayn's neck with his bare hands.
"harry you need to leave," louis tells him.
"i need to leave?" he asks, incredulous. he glares down at zayn, zayn, his friend zayn. "i think you need to rethink that thought."
"and i think that you need to go downstairs, get in your car, and go home," louis says in a voice that's entirely too patronizing. harry flicks his eyes down to him angrily. "the party's nearly done anyways, and i'm going back to zayn's so you don't need to-"
"so you're taking his side then?" harry watches as zayn stands up, awkward and red eyed behind louis. "you're just going to accept that he cheated on liam-"
"go home, harry," louis voice is getting tight, which means that he's angry too but he doesn't want to let it over power him. "please go home."
"seriously, lou?"
"harry-"
"you're honestly taking his side."
"i am not taking anyone's side," louis says, which is his way of saying yes.
harry shakes his head. "unbelievable."
"don't give me that."
"i can't believe you."
"you don't know both sides-"
"and you do? oh, wait-"
"look, harry, i know you're smart, but you don't know everything."
"oh fuck off," harry growls.
"excuse me?" louis looks shocked and pissed and hurt.
harry can't remember the last time they fought, can't remember the last time they screamed at each other and kicked up a huge fuss. he can't remember but his body is tensed like it does, tensed and ready to say anything that would make louis even madder.
"fuck off with your patronizing comments," he spits out, feeling so unlike himself. "and you-" he points to where zayn is still standing "-can stop feeling sorry for yourself any time."
"get out of this house," louis says, voice cold.
"fucking gladly," harry turns on his heel and bolts down the stairs, feeling hot and heavy and like shit quite frankly.
he runs into niall on his way to the door.
"woah," niall's wearing a kiss me i'm irish! apron and holding a platter of shrimp. harry can't have this conversation right now. "where are you going? i heard yelling from the kitchen, is everything-"
"it's fine," harry bites his lip and then takes two deep breaths. "everything is perfectly fine. don't worry about it."
"harry?" niall looks up at the staircase and then raises his eyebrows. "no offence but you don't really look fine. is it liam? zayn?"
"both. no, zayn," harry sighs. "no it's - it's just me. i got upset. it's my own fault."
"okay…" niall looks a bit lost and then holds out the platter. "shrimp?"
"i'm good thanks," harry doesn't really like shrimp, they feel like eyeballs on his tongue. "i think i'm just going to head home."
"alright mate," niall sounds a little confused and tired. he stuffs two shrimp in his mouth and chews loudly. "just let me know when we're leaving for the camping trip this weekend."
shit, harry forgot about that too (a little voice in his head tells him louis probably didn't but he tells it to shut the fuck up). "of course, yeah. i'm sure everything will be cleared up by then."
the longest harry and louis have ever fought for was two weeks in year 10 when louis parents were about to split and harry was in over his head about school and work and his own family problems and they couldn't handle it anymore. as soon as they both finished their gcses they were back together (and making out literally every where they could find. it was great).
the longest time zayn and liam ever fought for was exactly three hours when liam told zayn that he had to go to the athletic banquet with someone who was actually involved in sports and zayn sulked and was all moody until liam told him that he was going to go as louis' date and then everyone was fine.
so yes. harry has high hopes.
"everything will just blow right on over!" niall agrees happily.
-
everything does not just blow right on over.
-
harry walks over to louis' house the next morning with a tupperware full of cupcakes (all iced with i'm sorry and i luv u and messy drawings of louis' face). louis answers the door all sleepy and cute and still a bit pissed.
"i'm sorry i'm such an asshole," harry tells him and louis huffs a bit but eventually lets him in.
louis' kitchen is bright and sunny. the fridge is littered with drawings from his twin sisters and harry snaps a picture that phoebe drew of a (phenomenal, really) dragon at an amusement park.
"these are really delicious," louis says, lying back in a kitchen chair with his feet up in harry's lap. "is that an oreo on the bottom?"
"mhm."
"delicious," louis takes another bite and a bit of icing lands on his nose. it's adorable. "you will make a very good househusband one day, styles."
harry rolls his eyes but smiles a little too brightly. when harry first met louis, back when they were about seven, he'd proposed to him. down-on-one-knee full on proposed - he even had a ring (made out of a candy wrapper, but still). louis had turned him down, which broke little harry's heart so much that he didn't pursue a relationship with louis for another six whole years.
harry secretly thinks that it'll be a great story to tell their grandchildren one day.
"are we still going camping this weekend?" louis asks a little while later when they're out in his tiny garden, lying in the sun together with harry's ipod between them (a playlist they've heard several times before, actually entitled i'm sorry louis, playing faintly). "can we?"
"it's tradition," harry shuffles himself a little bit so there isn’t a rock digging into his back anymore. he could definitely fall asleep just like this. "they can't fuck tradition."
"i guess not."
harry yawns. he squiggles a bit more. the grass is quite soft, almost exactly like his pillow back home.
"you're falling asleep aren't you?" louis sounds exasperated.
harry makes a noise.
"like a fucking cat," louis whispers, curling closer to harry. his body is warm on harry's side, hotter and brighter and better than the sun. "my little cat boy."
harry falls asleep like that; curled up next to the boy he loves best with the sound of gentle wind in one ear and i need you by the beatles in his other.
-
they're packing up harry's piece of shit car on friday night, stuffing louis' mum's tent into the backseat, when liam calls harry.
"lee!" harry greets down the line, stepping away from the tent as louis and niall both try pushing it farther down so that harry has a chance of seeing out the back while driving. "we've not got much space left in the car, you've got to get down here quick!"
"harry," liam sounds tired. "i'm not going camping."
"what? of course you are, don't be stupid."
"no, harry, i can't."
"what, are you meeting becks tonight?"
"um. no."
"then you have no valid reason to miss out on our annual end-of-the-year-let's-get-fucked-around-a-camp-fire camping trip."
"is liam not coming?" niall asks, loudly. he looks distraught. louis runs a hand through his hair.
"look, li -" harry bites his lip. "za- uh. he already texted lou, said he can't come. something about waliyha having a dance competition? he was very vague."
"no it's not-" liam takes a deep breath. harry tries to be patient. "well it is. i can't hang out with you guys, i don't want zayn to think you're taking sides!"
"we're not taking sides-"
"it would be unfair to him-"
"-and even if we were, we're picking you, you ninny-"
"you're his friends too. i don't want him to feel alienated by his own friends."
"liam," harry hates that liam's such a good person. "it's tradition. i know that four isn't five, but four is a hell of a lot better than three."
"it just- it doesn't feel right."
"that bastard better not be doing what i think he's doing," niall says, rather threateningly, his eyes narrowing.
"liam just hear me out-"
"i'm staying at my nan's place for the weekend, alright?" liam sounds all hushed and harry wants to punch him in the nose. "i'll talk to you later."
"liam!"
liam hangs up. harry considers chucking his phone across the street before louis slides a hand down his back.
"is he…?"
"no."
"because zayn is…"
"yep."
louis sighs. niall sighs. harry still wants to punch liam in the face for being such a good human being.
-
camping's weird. it's still sort of fun (niall gets drunk the first night and tries to flirt with a chipmunk that comes by to eat their marshmallows, and louis gives harry a blowjob after niall retires to the tent). they still go swimming in the shitty lake, spend the next hour picking leaches off each other, and then drink beer while telling stories round the campfire.
but their lawn bowling teams are odd numbered and they can't play pictionary and when it rains liam isn't there to freak out about water-proofing and zayn isn't around to pull a joint out from his pocket, look around with a smile and say, "shall we boys?"
it's just not the same.
-
"you haven't talked to him at all?" harry asks, hesitantly.
he's over at liam's house, still sunburnt from the weekend camping. it had proved impossible to convince liam to leave his home so harry brought over a package of microwavable popcorn and the first season of made in chelsea.
snack food and shit telly; who says harry styles doesn't know his way around someone post-breakup?
"not since, well," liam shrugs, stuffing a bunch of popcorn in his mouth. he's staring directly at where ollie is saying something to spencer. harry's seen all the episodes already (when louis went away on holiday the summer before he and nick had had a marathon) and, more importantly, his best friend is sad. he needs to fix things.
"and he hasn't tried to contact you?"
"nope."
"do you want him to contact you?" harry asks, and then feels like an idiot when liam gives him an odd look. "i mean - do you even want to work things out?"
"of course i-" liam stops himself. "i don't know. i don't know, haz, he- it really hurt."
harry pets his head and then feeds him a kernel of popcorn. liam accepts it with a sigh and crunches lightly on it.
"but," he starts and harry shifts his legs so they're on either side of liam's body, like he's trying to consume him whole and take his pain away. "i also don't want things to just end. we've been together for almost a year-" liam and zayn had decided to play the field a little before realizing they were meant to be. "-and that's a long time you know?"
"yeah," harry says, although a year isn't really a lot for him. louis and him would be celebrating five at the beginning of september. "yeah, babe, i know."
"it's just," liam sighs loudly, echoing millie on screen. harry mutes the volume without taking his eyes off liam. "i don't know what i'm supposed to do? i thought that we were actually going to make it. i thought that we could be one of those couples that make it past secondary school, but i guess not."
"hey," harry feeds liam another kernel before beginning. "remember that while i'm holding your hand and being the best friend of all time, louis is doing the same to - well. uh. he who shall not be named-"
"it's zayn, harry, not voldemort-"
"oh shut up, you don't even like harry potter," harry clears his throat. "anyways, louis' making zayn feel better. and trying to get him to discuss things. so maybe - and i'm not saying you have to get back together or anything, but maybe zayn will be able to explain some times to you. rather soon. not that's there is ever an excuse for cheating-"
"i know, i know," liam manages a half-hearted smile. "thanks, haz."
"don't worry about it," harry smacks a kiss onto liam's cheek and then feels a little disgusted after, but liam seems okay so he's clearly getting better at the whole friendship thing. "do you want some more soup?"
"yes please," liam says, curling up under the blanket that he's had sprawled over his knees and unmuting the tv.
he's not regular liam yet, and he probably wouldn't be for awhile, but he's starting to come back to harry. and that's all that matters.
-
harry goes with his mum to visit gemma's new flat in sheffield the next day, and gets home two days later.
the drive home is nice, just he and his mum, chatting and listening to music. harry blares the 1975 and makes his mum dance around a bit while they speed down the a57.
louis calls when they're only about a half hour from home, and harry's mum makes kissy noises when harry answers it.
"hey," he greets, turning the music down with one hand.
"hiya, love," louis says, his voice sweet a lovely and wonderful.
"tell him i say hello!" harry's mum shouts, and harry rolls his eyes but complies.
"hello anne!" louis says happily, and harry has to bite his lip so he doesn't smile too wide. it's entirely ridiculous to miss louis after two days, but he does (a little. louis can be rather obnoxious at times). "listen, can you come over when you get home? i found something at work at i think it might solve all our problems."
louis works in ridiculously cool used bookstore in town. harry's jealousy is only curbed by the fact that it's just around the corner from the bakery he works at.
"ugh," harry turns to his mother. "can you drop me off at louis' when we get into town?"
"your step brother is home tonight, harry," his mum reminds him, and harry can practically hear the accompanying eye roll with the sigh louis releases down the line. "full family dinner, remember?"
"but gemma's not going to be there," harry whines.
his mum silences him with a look.
"maybe tomorrow, lou?"
"yeah, yeah," louis says easily. "i've got the twins until noon, so i guess i'll see you at twelve thirty?"
"i'll bring over some sandwiches or something for lunch."
"have i mentioned recently that i love you?"
harry grins. "love you too."
"tell grimshaw i said hello," louis says dryly before hanging up.
-
robin cooks an amazing lasagne with caesar salad for the occasion. it's delicious and the dinner is fun; nick's got a million amusing stories from living in london, all more insane than the last.
they play scrabble as a family unit and then harry gets the pull out mattress for nick to put on the floor of his bedroom. nick's not thrilled about staring up at frankie all night ("she's nice enough harold, but i don't think a poster of zac efron would go amiss") but soon enough they're both tucked in for bed.
harry flops around in his bed.
nick sighs, and then he's climbing onto harry's bed, pushing harry over so he can sit up against the headboard with him.
"you've been weird all night," nick tells him, his hair all fly away and cool (gone are the curls harry can remember from a couple years ago). "what's up baby styles?"
"i'm not a baby."
"baby."
"shut up."
"is it lovely louis?" nick asks, his fingers twitching a bit like he wants a cigarette (he hasn't told the family yet, but harry saw a picture of nick smoking outside some club with lily allen). "did lovely little louis break your little heart?"
"louis and i are just fine, thank you for asking," harry knows that nick actually likes louis, despite what he says. "no it's actually. um, do you remember liam? and zayn?"
"of course, little gary barlow and his symmetrically-faced boyfriend," sometimes harry just stares at nick's mouth, amazed at how he's saying what he's saying all the time. "what, did they call it quits?"
"yeah."
nick shrugs, entirely too cool and collected about the news. "that's life."
"but-" harry pouts. "but now liam is sad. and i don't know how to - i've never been broken up before. i don't know what to do."
"that's okay," nick runs a hand through harry's hair, slinging his arm around his shoulders. "one day lovely louis will meet some fifty year old millionaire and he'll dump you-"
"oi!"
"-and he'll never have to work a day in his life and become a proper trophy husband with a sugar daddy. and then you'll join the rest of the world and become 'someone who has been dumped'."
harry smacks him in the chest. nick grabs his wrist and twists it. harry bites at his face.
they wrestle for a minute, until harry tickles nick's ribcage and nick's too busy laughing and squirming and calling harry names to attack again.
"so," harry says, panting a bit afterwards. he's spread eagle across his bed, nick at his side in a similar position. "what do you think?"
"about what?"
"liam and zayn, stupid."
"are you seriously asking me for relationship advice?"
"well you had that thing with, um," harry racks his brain. "bj? no, no, rj. yeah. you had that thing with rj."
"a one night stand with an american supermodel at coachella last year is not the same thing as a relationship."
"could be."
"take off the rose tinted glasses, sweetheart, you need a dose of the real world," nick sighs. "he was hot though."
"yeah, i saw the picture on your instagram," harry's almost glad he's never met the infamous rj because he's pretty sure louis would kick him in the bollocks on principle alone. "his cheekbones are insane."
"so is his mouth," nick says, sleazily, nudging harry in the elbow. harry rolls his eyes.
-
when harry wakes up the next morning he feels odd.
the dream he had was odd:
louis and he had just arrived at their dorm in ucl, all happy and in love and everything was perfect. but then a giant spider came along and took louis away from harry. and all of a sudden they weren't in the dorms at ucl anymore, they were in a giant castle. after harry helped some little toad people find their home, the kind of minor side tour that only occurs in dreams, he arrived at the king's throne.
at this point harry mostly forgets what happened, but he has a vivid image in his mind of louis sitting on some fat, old king's lap, smiling all pretty and saying, "well what can you expect, harry? you don't have anything to offer me."
and then harry woke up.
he frowns at frankie and then sighs.
fuck.
"hey nick?" he asks hesitantly, craning his head around so he can see to the mattress just below him.
nick sort of groans back, face smashed into his pillow. he's got one headphone in, the other strewn across his pillow, and harry can hear the muffled tones of some rap song playing from it.
"nick?" he pokes him.
"eugh," nick lifts his head slightly, opening one blearily blue eye up at harry and frowning. "the fuck do you want?"
harry shushes him with a pointed look. "do you want to wake the whole town up?"
"i don't give a shit styles," nick rolls over moving his head on the pillow so harry has to lean his head out farther to see him. "you woke me up."
"i know, sorry," harry curls his hands under his chin and tries not to frown. "it's just. that thing you said last night. you know, about. well."
"if you're talking about when i said i was going to take anne to reading festival instead of you," nick says in his 'piss the fuck off mate' voice. "then you can fuck off because you know i'll take you, you brat."
harry internally cheers, but stays on track.
"no, no, that thing about louis."
"lovely louis?" nick says sleepily, eyes closed and face smushed into his pillow. "did i say something about his arse?"
"no - well yes, of course you did, but i don't mean that," harry scolds and then sighs. "do you really think that he's going to meet some sugar daddy? i mean, he's so fit and smart and wonderful and it's just-"
"jesus christ-"
"well, why wouldn't some rich bloke want to be with louis?" harry pouts. "if i were a millionaire i would want louis to be my gold digging fiancé."
"i was joking-"
"i know, but that doesn't mean that we won't -" harry bites his lip. "things are already changing. i don't want anything else to. i don't want me and louis to change at all."
"i hate to break this to you, love, honestly i do," nick opens one hazel eye and gives him a pitying look. "but things are going to change whether you want to or not. that's how life works."
"but-"
"no buts," nick waves his arm around. harry genuinely tries to work out why he's such a big deal in london. "you and louis might stay together until you're both ninety, or you might be broken up this time next year. welcome to life. unpredictable. exciting."
"shitty."
"maybe shitty," nick agrees. "but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go out and like, kill it. live it up. party. be self indulgent baby styles, you've only got a few more years left of getting away with that."
"thanks nick, really. sound advice."
"fuck off," nick says cheerily before turning onto his side, sticking his other headphone in, and snoring too loud and annoying for it to be real.
2/2