I want to read the rest of this, but I don't want to sign up for this mailing list nonsense...

[mothwentbad]

This just in: losing your virginity isn't super magic sparkles.

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - Just days after tying the knot after years of abstinence, Kevin Jonas of the pop sensation the Jonas Brothers stunned his teenaged fans by announcing that "to be honest about it, sex was not worth the wait

Comments

[julia_sevin]

Is that supposed to be reverse psychology? "Wasn't worth the wait." Meaning: don't bother waiting? Or meaning sex is awful and not worth even pursuing by chaste means? I'm bewildered.

[mothwentbad]

I was confused by that myself, and then I invented an interpretation: waiting a real long time to have super-hot destiny love forever sex isn't worth it, and you might as well start goin' at it whenever, because it ain't like your imagination and the movies anyway.

I guess.

[nihilistic_kid]

He means, "Wrong hole."

[mothwentbad]

?

[rogerdr]

Practice makes...well, better, anyway. Whoever thought up the 'wait until marriage' idea must have waited until marriage or died a virgin. It's just plain stupid to wait until rings have been exchanged, vows made, and contracts have been signed to find out that you and your partner are not compatible.

[mothwentbad]

Well, it might make sense if you don't have birth control. But now, not so much.

[ladyelaine]

Yeah, it does take some practice before you and your partner become attuned to each other. So in a way, it is worth the wait!

[a_tergo_lupi]

Too bad it's from a joke site :(

[mothwentbad]

Oh, shit. It looked so legit to me. :(

I thought maybe the movie business was all open and honest all of a sudden.

[shaptastic]

The Huffington Post is one of the most well-known blogs, but that's all it is. The first time I came across it I thought it was legit, too. But this is still pretty funny.