Black Magic White Lies, chapter 15

[moscow_watcher]

Title: Black Magic White Lies
Author:moscow_watcher
Chapter 15 - Light! Camera! Aaand - Action!
Timeline: BtVS, alternate season 5
Genre: drama, mystery, action
Characters, pairing: general, Xander/Faith
Rating: R (for intense situations).
Summary: Xander thinks he has a little secret. He doesn't know that his little secret is a part of a big fat conspiracy.

Comments

[waddis]

Very good chapter. I liked the seat-of-your-pants feel to the action, and the dialogue in the second half was spot on.

[moscow_watcher]

Thanks! I highly appreciate your praise, especially about the action scene, because you write excellent action.

[sarian71]

"...Faith slowly rises from the chair and, before the Most Shiny Special Bitch has time to react, hits her right in the face with a force of a freight train."

Now, that was impressive! If the Most Shiny Special Bitch's ass wasn't lopsided before, it is that now, I'm sure... :P Gotta agree with Xander, a Slayer defending her offspring, during labor no less, is a sight to behold. Has she been given some extra strength to be able to defend the baby, or was that just adrenaline talking?

I really enjoyed Giles in this chapter. Especially his reactions to the Buffy & Spike revelation and Willow's confession were priceless. He was just so... Giles! :)

[moscow_watcher]

Thank you! Your comment about Glory's lopsided ass made me laugh.

As to Faith, I decided to reward her with a big damn heroic act because she deserves it. To hell with realism!

[moscow_watcher]

Thank you! Tune in next Monday! :)

[missmurchison]

Excellent chapter, with lots of action but still a great read on the characters.

*icon shows another kick-ass mom, but I don't know if you've watched Farscape.

[moscow_watcher]

Thank you! No, I haven't watched Farscape, alas - but I love the kick-ass mom on your icon. She looks smashing! :)

[rebcake]

Oh, Faith! How incredibly bad ass you are, rising from your wheelchair of labor-intake to knock out Glory. So satisfying!

I love all the snarky ambulance dialog, and I noticed that Giles doesn't reveal his romance with Anya while everybody else is spilling their guts. Heh. Nobody's perfect.

I loved that everybody just happened to be at the hospital at the right moment, and the perfect "what could be worse?" gag - exactly the kind of scene closer you'd get on the show. Terrific!

I have a few little edity bits for your consideration:

1. A person in a straight jacket shouldn't really be able to point. He or she could stare, though.

2. Xander, Buffy, and Spike took out the three demons you put into the scene. Then there is one spouting about supremely magnificentness, but where did it come from?

3. Ambulance car is just ambulance, over here.

4. I had to look up NFS, but those in the know (like Xander, presumably) already know about Need For Speed video games. Pretty good character detail, actually!

[moscow_watcher]

Thank you!

I'm very grateful for your "edity bits" - I appreciate that you spend your time to post your ideas on how to make the text better.

So...

1. A person in a straight jacket shouldn't really be able to point. He or she could stare, though.

I can't believe I did such a blunder! LOL!
I'm going to change "pointing" to "nodding". If it's not okay in English, let me know.

2. Xander, Buffy, and Spike took out the three demons you put into the scene. Then there is one spouting about supremely magnificentness, but where did it come from?

In my mind, it was the demon whom Buffy hit on the head. He was incapacitated for a few seconds, but then he got back in action. I'm going to change the descriction to "the demon wails, rising to his feet".

3. Ambulance car is just ambulance, over here.

Got it. Will change.

Again, thank you very much!