+ What's New, Pussycat [2PM]
Title: What's New, Pussycat
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Taecyeon, OT7
Word Count: ~2600
Author's Notes: I don't even know? I just know this is biases's fault, because she linked me somewhere, which led to seeing someone request Chansung as a cat, which led to… this. Also, her fault: the general readability of this fic. ♥ Written a while ago, posted now in celebration of the real Chancat.
Summary: Then Chansung lets out a soft meow and starts purring, burrowing his head into Taec's neck and stretching his legs out over Jay's, and it becomes painfully obvious that no-everything is not fine.
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No-one really even notices, in the beginning, because there's not much of a difference-he hasn't sprouted ears or a tail, and he always bites people, so that little good-morning nip he gave Junsu isn't out of the ordinary at all. Even the way he eats his breakfast, silent and without utensils, doesn't send up any red flags, because Chansung is not a morning person.
In fact, the moment it becomes painfully obvious isn't until they hustle into rehearsal, the music starts, everyone else launches into their routine and Chansung… doesn't. Instead, he throws himself down onto the floor, crawls around a bit, kneads the floorboards and curls up into a ball, tucking his face under an arm.
Taec is the first to stop and stare, grabbing Nichkhun's shirt and pulling him closer. Jay, tearing his gaze away from his own reflection, notices the three of them and halts mid-step, arms flopping uselessly at his sides.
"Yah," he says, stomping over, nudging Junho out of the way, "what are you doing?"
Taec can only shrug helplessly, looking to Khun, who rolls his eyes and goes over to turn the music off.
"Yah," Jay says again, poking Chansung in the side with his foot. Chansung's nose twitches. "We only just started! Save the goofing off for later."
But there is no reaction, not even when Jay jumps right on top of Chansung, squashing him and bouncing up and down obscenely. He stops when he realizes no-one has told him off.
"I think," Junho says, frowning, "you should get off him, hyung."
Jay rolls off. Junho lowers himself to the floor and stretches out beside Chansung, squirming so they are face-to-face. "Yah, Chansung-ah," he says softly, "are you okay?"
"He was fine a few moments ago," Junsu comments from behind Taec, still irritable because Wooyoung used all the hot water. "If he's in one of his moods I'm not hanging around."
"Maybe if we just let him talk," Wooyoung snaps back, "we would know."
"Woah, guys, settle down." Nichkhun reaches out to rub Wooyoung's shoulder. "It's not even midday."
Trying to block them out, Taec squats beside Junho and leans in, peering at Chansung's face. It's clear, and he looks normal, peaceful even, as he rests. "How is he sleeping through this?"
"I don't know," Junho says, sounding worried, biting his lip and looking to Jay for guidance. "Hyung?"
Jay sighs and rubs his neck. "I'm sure everything's fine, he's probably just stressed, or something. Taec and I will get him home, it's all good."
He looks at Nichkhun and raises his eyebrows meaningfully. Khun nods, casting a worried look in Chansung's direction before clapping loudly and pulling Junho away and back over to the mirrors, wisely putting him between Wooyoung and Junsu. Taec grabs one of Chansung's arms as Jay takes the other, and they struggle to lift him up, supporting him with their shoulders.
"Stressed?" Taec grunts, cringing as Jay has to let go and open the door.
"You come up with something better, then."
They manoeuvre him all the way to the van and Taec climbs in first, pulling on Chansung's arms as Jay shoves at his butt, and they eventually get him inside and brace him between their bodies.
Then Chansung lets out a soft meow and starts purring, burrowing his head into Taec's neck and stretching his legs out over Jay's, and it becomes painfully obvious that no-everything is not fine.
+
Back at the dorm, a pre-warned Minjae-hyung rushes out to help and the three of them haul Chansung inside. They drop him onto the couch, before their manager immediately disappears again, presumably to call for medical assistance. Jay has to go to the bathroom, so Taec flops on the floor, resting his head against the arm of the couch. He looks at Chansung, wondering what's happening and hoping it's not too permanent, reaching out to brush his hair out of his eyes, but Chansung frowns and lashes out, scratching three long, red marks down his forearm.
Taec yelps and throws himself backwards, clutching onto his arm, eyes wide with shock and pain. Chansung looks a little displeased at the loud noise, but he's otherwise completely unrepentant as he closes his eyes again.
"What the hell was that?" Jay skids into the room, pants still unbuttoned, holding them up at the hip.
"He just scratched me!" Taec screeches. "The fucker just fucking scratched me!" He thrusts his arm at Jay. Small beads of blood have begun to appear, and Jay looks vaguely impressed.
"Wow." He frowns. "I thought we were supposed to keep our nails trimmed for our choreo?"
"Jay," Taec says, "Chansung scratched me. Like a cat."
"Yeah, and? What do you want me to do about it? He's stressed."
"I'm bleeding, Jay!"
But Jay just shrugs, busying himself with doing up his fly, and life is so completely and utterly unfair sometimes it makes Taec want to cry. The last time he had (mostly accidentally) kicked Chansung in the shin for a good reason that he can't remember anymore, Jay had smacked Taec over the head and made him kneel on the floor, arms up high in the air like he was back at school, and apologise. Now that the tables have turned it's like Jay doesn't even care, and Taec has no control over his forming pout.
He only stops to edge away when Chansung, snuffling and blinking his eyes open, decides that now would be a good time to wake up. He stretches languidly and yawns, practically leaping off the couch and crawling over to Jay, rubbing his cheek against his denim-clad thighs.
"What the hell, Chansung?" Jay stumbles a few steps back. Chansung sits up on his haunches, unruffled, arching a smug eyebrow at Taec before turning back to meow at Jay.
Jay stares.
Chansung just moves closer to the kitchen, glancing back once to meow again before disappearing around the corner.
"I… I think he's hungry," Taec croaks. Jay stares some more.
+
This new cat-version of Chansung, as it turns out, is a much fussier eater than the old one. He not only rejects both the leftover kimchi and the banana Jay offers him, but also the ramyun Taec cooks especially, despite his aching arm. (Taec eats it, anyway, so it doesn't go to waste, but he can't help but feel at least a little bitter.)
In fact, it isn't until the others come home and Wooyoung is munching on something chickeny that Chansung shows any interest in anything except being annoying. (So far, he's jumped up on the counter and knocked everything off it, scratched the cupboards, tried to get on Jay's lap and elbowed him, quite hard, in the stomach, before settling on the floor and glaring angrily at them, letting out a plaintive meow every so often.
Taec and Jay are huddled on the other side of the kitchen together, trying not to cry or look scared. Taec succeeds at one of them, Jay at the other.)
It's like Chansung can smell the food as soon as the van reaches their block, because he's up and circling the kitchen, yowling, before Taec can even hear the door, and as soon as Wooyoung walks in Chansung positions himself directly in front of him, staring at the food in his hand.
Wooyoung stops, and because he was the first inside the others all run into him. He follows Chansung's line of sight to the chicken in his hand, realizes what it means, and covers it protectively, immediately pouting.
"Nichkhun," Jay says, standing and inching closer.
Nichkun looks unsure for a moment, but after one glance at Jay's fierce leadja face he launches himself at Wooyoung from behind.
"Khunnie, no!" Wooyoung wails, trying to fight him off. "I'm hungry!"
But then Junsu helps to hold him down, exacting a bit of his own revenge, and Nichkhun grabs the food and tosses it to Jay, who, in turn, throws it to Chansung. Chansung catches it in his mouth, gives everyone a withering look, and prances back into the lounge room.
Taec can't help thinking that if he had a tail, it would be held very high right now.
+
Chansung is happily licking his fingers on the floor, Wooyoung is glaring and picking at the kimchi on his plate, Nichkhun's at the other end of the couch alternating between sending Wooyoung baleful looks and Chansung anxious ones, and Taec wonders when everything got so crazy. Well, crazier. He glances at Jay, but he's texting someone on his phone (probably his mom) and grinning like an idiot (definitely his mom), and doesn't seem too inclined to do anything too leader-y.
Fine. How hard can it be?
Taec stands and clears his throat. Chansung pauses mid-lick to regard him and he freezes, running his fingers gently over the gauze on his arm, before deciding to just man up and get on with it.
"So," he says, moving to the front of the room, "Chansung is a cat."
But no-one reacts, except for Junho who shifts closer to Junsu, getting him to pat his butt faster. Taec frowns. Is it always this hard to get everyone to co-operate?
"Yo," he tries again, "Chansung is a cat. Anyone got any ideas?"
Still nothing. Taec sighs, rubs the back of his neck, and is about to suggest pooling their money to buy a scratching post when Wooyoung, pushing his plate aside, says, "Like what? Putting him to sleep?"
There is a shocked silence and Chansung looks particularly outraged.
"I don't think that's a viable option, Wooyoung-ah," Khun says gently.
"Unfortunately." He crosses his arms and Khun moves to comfort him, but Chansung beats him to it.
Utilising that innate ability that all cats seem to have, Chansung senses the one person who likes him least and slinks over to Wooyoung, climbing up on the couch, settling his head and upper body on Wooyoung's lap and snuggling down. His feet kick out to make room, snagging Nichkhun's thighs, and Khun yelps but no-one cares. They just stare some more at Chansung.
Junsu cocks his head. "He's actually pretty… cute."
Jay snorts, and uses his phone to take a picture.
+
No-one seems to want to talk about what they'll do if this cat-thing doesn't fade except Taec. Wooyoung's kind of fallen in love with Cat-Chan, because he has bad circulation and having him on his lap keeps him warm. Khun has tried talking to Cat-Chan, tried discussing if he feels okay and his hopes and dreams or whatever, but it's like Cat-Chan can sense he has competition in Nichkhun, and all he gets for his efforts is a bite on the nose.
Junsu is as clueless as ever and Jay's gone into shutdown, which he often does when he doesn't have a solution for something, and insists on being obnoxious, screaming and jumping around and insulting everyone, and usually Taec would join in but Chansung is a cat.
The only one who's been even slightly helpful is Junho, who has gone out to stock up on fish and chicken in the hopes that if they feed Chansung up, maybe he'll sleep it off.
Except that strategy won't really work, either, because they have a huge schedule planned for the next day, including interviews, performances, and a variety show taping they really can't get out of, since the theme is them.
Taec decides they need to do some research, and hopes that his good old friend the internet will come through yet again. But after typing my friend is acting like a cat help into the American Google (because he thinks it's far more likely to yield results) and the first option is Mean Girls quotes and the second is a friends group of people who have bad grammar and act like cats on purpose (when I have my ears and tail on its like I've come alive), he gives up and they're back at square one.
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Even Minjae-hyung proves inadequate, because when he finally rings, hours after they last saw him, all he can do is tell them to lay low.
"Yah," Minjae says, rather breathlessly, "I've cleared your schedules for today. You guys just need to take care of Chansung-ah while I try and sort this out."
"Hyung, you sound like you know something we don't. What's going on?"
"Nothing, nothing." Except he seems very distracted, and there are some strange noises in the background that indicate he may very well be lying. "Just look after Chansung, I'll see you guys later."
There is an odd-sounding animal squeal right before he hangs up, and Taec tries not to think about its implications.
+
"When did this actually start happening?" he asks Junho, as they put away can upon can of fish. "When did Chansung start…" He can't bring himself to say 'being so catty', not even with his penchant for puns, so he waves his hand around instead, bearing his teeth and hissing.
"I'm not sure." Junho straightens up to think. "This morning?"
"When did he get back from the gym last night?"
"After Jay-hyung."
"So he was the last one out?"
"I think so." Junho frowns. "Why? Do you think something happened then?"
"Well I don't think it's something you can catch."
"Do you think someone maybe… did something to him?"
They both crane their necks, looking to where Wooyoung is rubbing Chansung's ear as he watches Beast on MTV, before looking back at each other.
"What, like… magic or something?" Taec asks.
Junho's eyes widen, and after a moment they both start laughing. "Good one, hyung," Junho says, punching him on the shoulder, but Taec sees him clutching onto the cross on his necklace as he leaves.
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No-one thinks twice when Chansung gets up to go to the bathroom, but maybe they should have, because when Junsu goes right after him, he screams and runs back out again, looking horrified.
"I'm not cleaning that up!" he shrieks, locking himself in his bedroom, and suddenly, the only ones left in the lounge room are Chansung, Taec and Jay.
Jay narrows his eyes. Taec follows suit. They have a standoff.
When Jay blinks and loses their staring contest three and a half minutes later, Taec helps him out by pricking holes in the fingertips of his rubber gloves.
+
Thankfully, the few hours left in the day pass rather uneventfully, with Chansung sleeping the entire time (which really isn't that different to real life). He's swapped from one lap to the other as they take shifts to look after him, until the only one who hasn't had a turn is Taec, but by then it's bed time.
Chansung, seeming to want spread his 'love' around evenly, insists on sleeping in the bunk with him, curling up on top of the covers and leaving Taec less than half the bed. But when he is woken up the next morning by Chansung falling right off, not landing on his feet like a cat would and, thankfully, letting out a stream of very unrepeatable curses, he knows everything is back to normal, and feels quite safe in going back to sleep.
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They never do find out what Minjae-hyung did, exactly, for Chansung to be turned into a cat, but they have their suspicions, and when Nichkhun starts acting like a puppy a week later (which no-one, not even Wooyoung, realizes for a whole day), they know it must be something big.
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