Title: Spongecake
Rating: PG
Characters: Junho, Nichkhun, Taecyeon. OT7-era.
Word Count: ~1300
Notes: Slightly cracky. For
biases. ILU BB. *waves pom poms*
Summary: When Taec says he is going to make Jay a cake for his birthday, the other members don't know whether to laugh or cry. Junho finds his fight or flight response leaning heavily towards RUN, NOW, YOUR BUTT IS TOO PERFECTLY FORMED AND YOU'RE FAR TOO YOUNG TO DIE.
+
When Taec says he is going to make Jay a cake for his birthday, the other members don't know whether to laugh or cry. Junho finds his fight or flight response leaning heavily towards RUN, NOW, YOUR BUTT IS TOO PERFECTLY FORMED AND YOU'RE FAR TOO YOUNG TO DIE, but, perhaps rather stupidly, he reasons that Taec only burned one side of his toast that morning, so perhaps it's not an entirely life-threatening proposal.
He tells Taec he'll help out, and Taec is so profoundly grateful it makes Junho beam with pride.
The others should be part of this, he thinks. They should all help, and give the cake to their leader together, as one.
The others, however, are having none of it.
+
"I'm sorry, I love Jaebum-hyung, but no." Wooyoung shakes his head as he pulls on his bright yellow sneakers. "I am not brave enough to stick around while Taec demolishes the kitchen under the guise of baking. I just…" He pauses, then brightens, raising a clenched fist. "Tell hyung I said hwaiting, though!" And then he's gone.
+
Junsu is next.
"Sorry, Junho-yah, but I live with him. I've seen his level of hygiene and it isn't something I want anything to do with."
"But it's for Jaebum-hyung!" Junho says, making sure to pout just a little, since reason alone doesn't seem to be cutting it.
Junsu wavers, he can see it, but then they hear a yell of pain from the kitchen and it seems to make up Junsu's mind for him.
+
Chansung doesn't even offer up an excuse, intent on shoving an entire packet of dry ramen into his mouth whilst simultaneously jamming on a beanie.
"Chansungie-" Junho starts, but Chansung just points at the food and grabs his shoes, following in the path of his hyungs.
+
Junho makes sure he's ready for Nichkhun.
As soon as he emerges from his room, jacket on, far too conspicuous not to be attempting a similar escape, Junho blocks off his exit, standing at the front door with crossed arms.
"I was just…" Nichkhun grasps for words, eyes darting nervously, and Junho pulls out everything in his arsenal, doing the best he can to guilt Nichkhun into staying.
"Hyung," he says, eyes widening, lips downturned, nostrils flaring, tone pleading, "it's Jaebum-hyung's birthday."
The defeated look on Nichkhun's face lets Junho know that he's won.
+
"Right," Taec barks, marching up and down behind them, wooden spoon hefted over his shoulder and held like a weapon, "Jay's going to be home in approximately three hours. That leaves an hour each for preparation, cooking and decoration. Do either of you have any input for the improvement of this strategy?"
Junho turns to look at him, but jerks back when Taec's wooden spoon strikes against his ass. Hard.
"Eyes front, dongsaeng," Taec growls, his face suddenly directly in front of Junho's. "No breaking formation."
Junho nods. The pain begins radiating outwards.
"This cake has to be perfect. Got that?"
Junho nods again. Taec eyes him suspiciously, but Junho stares ahead, willing himself not to move, dividing his focus between his stinging ass and the thought of Jay's happy face when he arrives home to see how much effort they've put into his birthday.
Taec eventually nods and turns to Nichkhun. "Khun?"
Nichkhun dips his head up and down. He shrinks away as Taec sidles closer, and Junho notices him moving his clasped hands down from his lower back to cover more of his buttocks.
Good call.
"Khun," Taec says again, ever so sweetly, and Junho realises he's not using any suffixes. "You don't mind if we drop the honorifics for this exercise, right? Since I'm technically your seonsaengnim?" He rests a hand on Nichkhun's shoulder. From the corner of his eye, Junho can see Nichkhun looking at him pleadingly.
"For Jaebum-hyung," Junho mouths, and Nichkhun sags in place. He shakes his head.
Taec hums in satisfaction.
+
Junho has no idea what made Taec act this way, but he does feel all of his hopes that this would be a nice, fun bonding experience with his hyungs slip quickly away. Because Taec, it turns out, is an even harder kitchen taskmaster than Junho's mother.
Junho is assigned solids, Nichkhun liquids, and Taec takes up the enviable task of ordering them around, whacking them with the wooden spoon should they operate at a speed not to his satisfaction.
"I thought Taec was supposed to be making this," Nichkhun dares to mutter as he passes Junho to put his eggshells in the bin.
Junho snorts and is about to reply, but-
"Yah! No chit-chat! We only have forty minutes of prep time left!"
"But Taec, we-" Junho tries.
"Excuse me?" Taec immediately towers over him. Junho tries not to be intimidated, staring resolutely at the stupid snick in Taec's eyebrow, instead. "Didn't you forget something?"
Okay. Now Junho is confused, because he's been making sure to follow every step on the recipe to the letter. His butt is still aching from the first slap, and he's not keen to follow it up with another. "Eh?"
"How old are you, Junho-sshi?"
"But…" Junho looks to Nichkhun for help, still puzzled. Nichkhun concentrates very hard on his whisking. "But didn't you just tell Khun-hyung-"
"That is a special agreement made between me and Khun. Don't think that any of that applies to you. I'm still your hyung." He waves his spoon menacingly. "Get back to work."
For Jaebum-hyung, Junho reminds himself, taking the sifter back in hand. For Jaebum-hyung.
+
"Yah, you two! Why is this so lumpy?" Taec slams the bowl back down, droplets of the mixture flicking out and onto the bench.
"I don't know, hyung," Junho says innocently-which he is. Mostly. "Didn't you do the mixing?"
It was, in fact, the only thing he did do, and Junho has to think that for the one with the best culinary reputation in 2PM, he didn't do it very well. At all.
"Yeah, well…" He trails off, getting flustered, and Nichkhun reaches out to give Junho a small high-five, right over Taec's lowered head.
+
"It's not about what it looks like," Taec insists as they open the oven. Junho peers around him and tries not to laugh.
Somehow, the 'cake' hasn't even risen over the halfway mark of the tin, but the top and sides are completely burnt.
Nichkhun tilts his head. "What kind of flour did we use?"
"There's more than one?"
And Taec looks so devastated that Junho can't help but feel sorry for him. He slips on the oven mitts. "Should I take it out?"
+
Taec stares glumly at the cake-or rather, what's left of it-and sighs. "I just wanted it to be a good cake."
Junho comforts him, rubbing the flat of the wooden spoon soothingly between his shoulder blades. "I know, hyung."
"It still is," Nichkhun offers. Junho and Taec look dubiously at him before looking back at the cake on the cooling rack. It's even smaller now that they've hacked off all of the burnt bits, and also a strange shade of white, since they didn't have any food-colouring for the icing.
It actually looks startlingly like a sponge, but Junho decides not to mention this to Taec.
"It's okay, hyung," he says instead, and switches from rubbing to stroking. "Jaebum-hyung will like it because we made it. In the end, that's what matters."
Taec cheers up a little. "You think so?"
"Of course!" Nichkhun joins in. He smiles warmly, at his most convincing, and Junho silently thanks the Horvejkuls, not for the first time, for somehow creating such a fine specimen of sincerity. "He'll love it."
+
Jaebum frowns at the plate in front of him, reaching out to poke at it with a blunt fingernail. "You guys got me a sponge?"
Junho can't help a laugh, even as Taec looks as if he's about to cry.
+