Full Circle - Beth's Story, Chapter 13
[x]Title: Full Circle - Beth’s Story
[x]Author: Galaxy451
[x]Rating: This chapter - PG-13
[x]Warning:[x]Pairing: Mick/Beth, Jo/Beth
[x]Genre: General
[x]Spoilers:N/A
[x]Summary:The year is 2014. Jacqui Kostan (aka Beth Turner) is now a vampire, and she tells the tale of what happened in the years post Sonata, beginning from after the door closed......
Meanwhile, in the present time, little does she know, but things are about to come full circle....
[x]Disclaimer: Not my property, unfortunately. All rights belong to.... whomever they belong!
Previous chapters:- Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12
Disclaimer: Not my property, unfortunately. All rights belong to.... whomever they belong!
Full Circle - Beth’s Story
Chapter 13
We spent the journey back to my apartment in silence. Mick had insisted on driving me back in my own car, adamant that it was not safe for me to be driving myself, when I’d just spent the last six hours or so in a state of unconsciousness.
It had shocked me to discover I’d been out for quite so long. Apparently Mick had tried to rouse me several times, but I’d been all but dead to the world, and nothing he’d done had managed to raise even a murmur. Although temporary loss of consciousness was not uncommon amongst freshies after a feeding, especially the first few times, when they had not yet become accustomed to the blood loss, it was usually only for a brief period, and accompanied by responses similar to those elicited during sleep. He’d finally panicked when he’d tasted blood in his mouth, and realised he’d nicked his tongue at some stage during the evening. What with the blood loss I’d endured during our lovemaking, coupled with the chance that I may have ingested a drop or two of his own blood when he’d kissed me, he’d put two and two together and come up with the frightening possibility that he might just have managed to do the unthinkable, and had unintentionally made exactly the same mistake that Josef had made with Sarah Whitley.
After three hours of waiting, and still no response, in desperation, he’d finally called Josef and begged him to come over. The rest, more or less, I knew. It wasn’t the situation itself that had made me so angry; I understood why Mick had needed Josef to verify I was still human; no, it was Mick’s reaction to me when he wasn’t sure if I’d been turned or not. I don’t know if he even realised he’d done it, but I was all too aware of how he’d held me at arms length when I’d tried to put my arms around him to comfort him.
Afterward, he’d apologised to me over and over, for putting me through the ordeal. He’d reached out to put his arms around me then, but I’d stepped back, hurt that he’d rejected me earlier, and unable to forgive him for it. I didn’t explain why I was so upset, and I think Mick thought it was mostly due to the scare Josef had given me when he’d vamped out so unexpectedly.
For his part, Josef had made a hasty retreat once he’d confirmed that I was still human. In typical Josef style, he’d made his best effort to make light of it, however although he put on a brazen front, I could see that underneath it all he was embarrassed at the way things had turned out. But to tell the truth, even though it had scared me, I didn’t blame Josef in the least for what had happened. His was simply a reaction; vampire to human. Not the same reaction that Mick would have had, which was why Mick had asked for Josef’s help. He knew that his own response was tempered by his feelings for me. He loved me, ergo he had no desire to eat me. He hadn’t even trusted himself to be able to tell if I was human or vampire, unsure as to whether he might be confusing hunger with desire. So he’d had Josef do it, and as soon as Josef had confirmed I was still human, he’d been so visibly relieved, and I, inexplicably, had felt decidedly wounded by his response.
So there I sat, staring steadfastly out of the window, tears pricking at my eyes, but refusing to so much as acknowledge Mick, even though I could feel his eyes burning a hole into my skull.
“Beth….. I don’t know what more to say..” he began.
“Then don’t say anything.” I cut him off before he could continue. I knew I was being unreasonable, but seemed unable to help myself. All I could think of was Mick’s reaction when he’d thought I might possibly be a vampire. His arms pushing me away. Rejecting me. Yet I couldn’t seem to bring myself to talk to him about it, unwilling to put my hurt into words, and choosing instead to brood inwardly.
As he pulled into my parking space I gathered up my things and made ready to get out of the car. Mick turned off the engine, removed the keys from the ignition, and held them out to me. Finally turning to look at him, I was taken aback at the forlorn expression on his face.
“Thanks for driving me home.” I said, my anger relenting.
“Can I walk you to your door?” he asked.
“No, I think I can manage from here thanks.” I didn’t want to risk the possibility that I might cave in and ask him inside. I needed some time on my own to think.
He nodded, giving me a resigned smile. “Look after yourself Beth. Make sure you eat something, drink plenty of fluids, and if you need anything, anything at all, just call me.”
“I will.” I promised, taking the keys and stepping out of the car.
As I watched his retreating back heading off on foot in the direction of his loft, I felt an overwhelming desire just to run to him and throw myself into his arms. Instead, I sighed deeply, and turned away to make my way back to my empty apartment on my own.
Three times the next morning he tried to call me, and each time I ignored it, letting the answerphone pick up instead. Finally, worrying that Mick would come over if he thought something was wrong, I rang back, only to find that I got Mick’s answering service. Leaving a quick message just to say that I was sorry I’d missed his call, and that I was okay, I hung up. Turning my attention to some long overdue chores, I set to with a duster and cleaning cloth and attempted to take my mind off the situation as I began a late spring cleaning.
Up to my elbows in polish, my hair scraped back in a hasty ponytail to keep it out of my eyes, I was down on my hands and knees vigorously rubbing at the table legs when the doorbell went. Cursing that I’d ignored the calls earlier, I wondered whether or not it was worth trying to pretend I wasn’t at home. Realising though, that Mick could probably sense me through the door, coupled with the fact that my iPod was merrily blaring out my favorite cleaning tunes, I decided that answering the door was going to be unavoidable.
Brushing dust off my shirt and hurriedly pulling the ponytail out, I turned off the music and went to answer the door. Much as I didn’t want to admit it, I was relieved and excited at the thought of seeing Mick. I’d only been away from him for a few hours, and yet I was already missing him terribly. So much for time to think things over; I was ready to forgive him right now if it meant I could just feel his arms around me again.
Throwing the door open, I took a breath, ready to say my piece. The first word was almost out of my mouth when I realised it wasn’t Mick standing there holding a large bouquet of flowers in his arms. It was Josef.
“Oh…” my face dropped. Then quickly catching myself I turned on a bright welcoming smile. “Josef…. .”
His brown eyes regarded me warmly. “Nice to see you’re so disappointed to see me,” he remarked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
“Oh…no…” I hastened to explain, “it’s not that…. I was just expecting you to be Mick, that’s all.”
“Well sorry to dash your hopes Beth,” he raised his eyebrows at me, “I came to apologize for the atrocious way I behaved last night. I really am truly sorry about what happened.” He held out the flowers, gazing at me in earnest, but not quite managing to hide the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth.
I smiled, touched that he’d made the gesture, even though I wasn’t so sure about the sincerity of his apology. “You’re forgiven Josef.” I said, taking the proffered flowers and raising them to my nose to inhale their scent. “And how did you know I love freesias?”
“Lucky guess,” he replied, “that and they were on sale.”
I laughed. “They’re lovely Josef,” then, wondering if it was a good idea or not, “would you like to come in?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” he said, strolling in, hands stuffed nonchalantly in his pockets.
While I took the flowers into the kitchen and set about arranging them in a vase, Josef made himself comfortable on the couch, although he looked anything but at ease as he tapped his hand nervously on the arm.
“Would you like something to drink?” I asked him, before I realised what I was saying. “Ughh! Just pretend I didn’t say that!” I amended, blushing to the roots of my hair.
He snickered. “No thanks. But thanks for asking.”
“So…. um…. I’m guessing you have something else you wanted to say to me then?” I decided it was better to get straight to the point.
His face turned serious then. “Don’t be too hard on Mick, Beth. He really went through it last night. I’ve been there, I know how it feels, and believe me, it’s the worst feeling in the world. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”
He got up and went to stand over by the window. Choosing the shaded side, he leaned against the wall, crossing his legs and staring out at the street below. “When he called me, I couldn’t say no.”
“I’m sorry about Sarah, Josef, it must be hard…living with that.”
For a long while he didn’t reply, then finally he turned around to look at me. His eyes shone with tears, and his voice wasn’t quite steady when he answered me. “Yeah….”
He cleared his throat and began to pace up and down. “Sorry Beth…. I came here to apologise and now I’m dumping this on you.”
“It’s okay Josef. I really don’t mind. Talk to me if it helps.”
He stopped pacing, pausing as if deep in thought, then suddenly “It’s Simone,” he blurted out.
“Ah… Simone.” I nodded in understanding. “She wants you to turn her?”
“I don’t know if I can,” he stated .
“You turned Mick,” I pointed out.
“Re-turned. There’s a difference. Mick needed me to help him, and I couldn’t turn down a friend in need. He’d have done the same for me.” He stopped pacing and looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry I had to do it, Beth, but I really didn’t have a choice.”
“I don’t blame you Josef. I should be thanking you for saving my life.” I paused, realizing that I’d been blaming Mick for doing exactly that. “I can’t tell you what you should do about Simone, but I do know that sometimes you have to take a risk. If you don’t, you could be denying yourself the chance of ever finding real happiness again.” I looked at him questioningly. “Do you love her?”
He answered without hesitation, “Yes”, and I could see the conviction in his eyes as he said it. “But it’s not that simple……. if I commit to Simone….” he paused, an unhappy look on his face, “it’s….. it’s like I’m giving up on Sarah.”
Suddenly I had an insight as to why Josef was the way he was. The whole playboy attitude, and the uncaring façade he projected to the outside world, had been his way of protecting himself from ever having to get involved too deeply, and from betraying Sarah. The fact that Simone had defied the odds, and managed to slip through his defenses, was a minor miracle in itself.
“Josef, you’ve put your life on hold for over fifty years, it’s time to think about the future. To think about yourself.”
“Maybe you’re right…” he sighed.
There was a moment of awkward silence as we both searched for something to say.
I took a deep breath, “Mick doesn’t want to turn me.” I made it a statement.
He looked surprised. “Do you want to be turned?”
“Not at the moment, no, I just want to know that he’ll do it when….” I hesitated, “…. if…. the time comes.”
“He’ll do it Beth.”
“You sound awfully sure about that.” I wondered what Mick had said to Josef on the subject.
“Beth…. Mick might be an anti-vampire vampire, but he’s not a fool. I guarantee you, if it comes down to a choice between losing you or turning you, he’ll do it.”
“Have you two discussed this?” I asked.
“Last night, when we were talking, he was utterly distraught, Beth. He didn’t care if you were a vampire or a human. He just wanted you to wake up.”
I felt a lump rising in my throat as I stared dumbly at Josef, taking in what he’d just said.
“Thank you ….” I managed at last.
“By the way,” he said, perking up a bit, “speaking of last night….I meant to ask you about the bite. Mick said he took blood from you, but I didn’t notice any bite marks….at least not fresh ones. The one on your neck looks like it’s at least a couple of days old; it’s already started to heal.” He looked at me curiously.
I froze, my eyes going wide as I desperately searched for a suitable answer. Unfortunately my face must have said it all, because I saw his gaze dip below my waist for an instant, before he had to look away, trying unsuccessfully to hide a smile. Blushing furiously I looked around the room, grasping for something to say.
“Well…. thanks very much for the lovely flowers, but I’d better get on with the spring cleaning if I’m ever to get it finished.” I muttered, grabbing the nearest duster and spraying a liberal amount of polish straight into the speakers of my iPod docking station.
“Better go easy on the polish there…..” snickered Josef, as he sauntered past on his way towards the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob, a wicked grin spreading over his face, “Oh….. and the next time you and Mick decide to indulge in a bit of hanky panky, you might want to go easy on the ‘bitey’ stuff….that one’s renowned for knocking people out for the count…..”
As the door closed behind him I could hear his laughter echoing all the way down the hallway.
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To be continued….
Chapter 14