Started my daily ficlets to make the
hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a
second cycle, and then a
third cycle Now here comes cycle 4! :D
Had the idea for this seven part series a few weeks ago, got all excited, and now here it is :D The whole thing will come to make new sense in the end ;)
Today: The Cell Block Tango Set: Part 6 of 7: Lipschitz [Quinn, Puck]
"LIPSCHITZ"
Quinn, Puck
If she’d learned one thing about Puck in the past months, it was that he had determination. And if she’d learned two, it was that he had a short attention span, especially with girls.
After her secret had come out, and Finn had pushed her aside, she’d had to do a lot of thinking. Sitting out on her own, in the halls of McKinley, she’d had to make decisions, for her and her baby. She’d just tried and let calmness wash over her, hands lightly rested on her belly.
She couldn’t wait forever, couldn’t hope forever… she’d taken a chance on him, given him a shot at showing her that they could possibly be a family, him, her, and their daughter. All had gone on like a dream, they had proven they could take care of Kendra’s hellions, and they could take care of the baby. And then their beautiful dream had gone in flames, kindling in Puck’s indiscretions.
It had hurt too much. She’d tried to trust him, and this had been what she’d gotten. She couldn’t deal with all of that again, not now. If she even tried to tell herself that maybe it could work, she felt the pain again, and the desire to open herself to him another time just went away.
The problem was while one side of her was sage, a good little angel, there was the other side… the devil, leading the march in the ‘I heart Noah Puckerman’ parade, who had no interest in pushing him aside. Every time he would flash her that smile, or start his pitch to her, her head just hurt.
But sitting there in the hall, she’d made the call. She couldn’t rely on anyone but herself, not if she was expected to make it through the rest of this pregnancy with her sanity intact. She’d spent months trying to rely on others, but now she understood she couldn’t do that anymore. She had to rely on herself.
She’d told Puck about this, she had laid it out right there for him, hoping he would take the hint… she knew he wouldn’t, but she still needed him to know where she stood.
At first she had tried to be cool about things. They were still in Glee Club together, they still saw each other on a regular basis, and it was all just what he needed to try and be ‘the good guy’ in front of her. He was sweet and attentive, all in the ways that had swayed her over to the dark side before.
But then she’d see him in the hall and he’d be chatting up a girl. She’d turn and walk away, but when this would happen again, she would feel herself lose more and more of her control.
She had no fight in her. She couldn’t go down that road again.
There was one time where she had very nearly given in to the devil’s side. It had not been a good day, the day before. When she’d shown up at school in the morning, Puck had noticed. He’d seen she was upset and he’d come to her to offer comfort. She needed it enough that she’d let him hold her for a moment.
But then the hug had done its work and she’d come back to her senses. She’d released herself from the hold and walked away.
By the afternoon, she’d come to the same end as before… there he’d be, giving the old Puckerman charm to another girl in the hall. Walking by him, she’d made sure he saw her, and the look on her face.
After that, she hadn’t bothered to even look at him for a few days. They could pass it off on hormones if they wanted. She didn’t care.
Deep down she knew it wasn’t all about him. Yes, she was angry with him, for putting her in this situation, for telling her one thing and doing another… he was giving her hope, which she needed, and then he would just tear it away. But that wasn’t the whole problem.
She was mad at herself.
She had messed up so many things, so many people. She had trusted some, even though she knew they could and probably would disappoint her. Now she had been forced to handle this situation on her own, even though all she really wanted was to trust them again, and to have them trust her again, because then she wouldn’t be alone.
She had to be strong and pull through, if not to show herself or others, at least for the sake of her daughter.
THE END
PREVIOUS DAYS
[Cycle 1] [Cycle 2] [Cycle 3][Cycle 4]
[64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] Suggestion Drop Off Title: "Lipschitz"
Pairing: Quinn, Puck
Rating: G
Summary: [CBT #6] Quinn wants to trust Puck again... but she can't.
Spoilers: 1x13 Sectionals