won't get off my mind (1/1)
pairing: suho/chen
rating: PG-13
wordcount: 5.2k
summary: Baekhyun is, for some reason, convinced that forcing Jongdae to attend a sleepover party with the sunbae he has a crush on is a good idea.
notes: sorry everyone i came to the dramatic realization a while ago that suchen is my real otp :/ the alternate title for this is "this didnt take me 4 months to write so suck my dick (except they dont suck any dicks so dont get your hopes up for it)". there's half a scene in here that actually happened to me in real life during a sleepover four days ago?? beware of friends who make you sleep on their floors, kids.
also cross-posted to AO3
also, a sequel
“If I have to sing the same four bars of Ave Maria one more time,” Jongdae groans as he flops down on the choir risers, “I might throw up.”
Baekhyun makes a noise of agreement, sitting next to him and resting his chin on his hands. “What I don’t get is why the soprano section got to take a break, and we had to stay in with the conductor.”
“Because the soprano section knows their part,” Kyungsoo replies from beside them, not looking up from his music score. “And you keep missing the interval in bar twenty. Coincidentally, this is also the reason that we have after school sectionals, and they don’t.”
Baekhyun sticks his tongue out and Jongdae snickers. “My point is, the girls’ sections get special breaks and scheduled get-togethers - like, sleepovers and weekend retreats and cool shit like that - and we don’t.” He crosses his arms and pouts. “It’s unfair.”
“Isn’t it for section-bonding or something?” Jongdae says, then jumps half a foot in the air when, suddenly behind him, Chanyeol hums in agreement.
“It’s like, teamwork and stuff,” he says, as if he didn’t just appear out of nowhere. He sits down on the step above them. “Girl power or whatever.”
Sitting up, Baekhyun squints at him. “What are you doing? This is a tenor-section-only practice. Go away.”
“Your section leader isn’t even here yet,” Chanyeol points out. Baekhyun huffs and turns away.
“Anyway,” he continues, pointedly ignoring Chanyeol, “our section has never had any extra special bonding time, and we get along just fine, right? Don’t we?”
“Well, only about half the section is here, currently,” Jongdae says, looking around at the rest of the room.
Kyungsoo turns a page. “We’ve also known you since eighth grade.”
“Fine,” Baekhyun grumbles, standing up. “We’re gonna have our own girly sleepover party. With snacks and movies and all that shit. It’ll be awesome and we’ll come out more section-bonded than anyone else.”
“If you say so,” Jongdae muses, watching Baekhyun pace back and forth in front of them.
“I do say so,” Baekhyun agrees, tapping his chin. “My house. This weekend. Tenor section only.” Chanyeol looks a bit crestfallen, and Baekhyun stops in his tracks to give him a thoughtful once-over. “Maybe featuring the parts of the bass section that I actually like.”
Chanyeol perks up again, and Baekhyun turns to Kyungsoo and Jongdae, hands on his hips. “You guys better come,” he says seriously. “It’ll be super lame if the whole section shows up and you don’t. I’ll tell them every embarrassing story I can think of, I swear.”
“You say that like I have something better to be doing on the weekend,” Jongdae sighs, and Baekhyun whoops triumphantly just as the rest of the tenor section comes through the door. They all give him weird looks, which Baekhyun ignores.
The last to enter the room is their section leader, Joonmyun, who closes the door behind him and apologizes for being late. A murmur of ‘hello, sunbae’ goes around the room, and Jongdae immediately sits up straighter. Baekhyun rolls his eyes at him.
Joonmyun gets only a few steps into the room before he notices Chanyeol lounging on the risers and smiles. “Are you joining us today, Chanyeol?” he asks, and Chanyeol grins back at him.
“If you’ll have me,” he answers, and pretends not to see the glare Baekhyun sends his way.
Joonmyun heads over to the piano in the centre of the room and beckons for the rest of the section to crowd around. “We should get started right away,” he says, taking out a piece of music and flipping it open. He runs his fingers down the page and Jongdae follows the movement with his eyes until he places his hands on the piano keys, then flicks his gaze up to watch Joonmyun’s face as he reads the notes.
Baekhyun punches him in the arm. “Stop staring,” he stage-whispers. “You look creepy.”
“I’m not staring,” Jongdae says indignantly, rubbing his arm as they stand up to join the others at the piano. Definitely not staring. He just likes to look at Joonmyun when he’s reading music, to see his expressions. Also when he’s singing, or writing anything down, and especially when they cross paths in the hallway and Joonmyun smiles at him. He doesn’t stare, though, because that would be--
“Jongdae?” Joonmyun says, looking at him with eyebrows raised, and Jongdae tunes back in and realizes he’s definitely been watching Joonmyun’s hands on the piano instead of singing.
“Y-yes, sunbae?”
“You okay? You looked a little out of it.”
Jongdae feels his cheeks heating up. “I’m fine, sunbae.”
Joonmyun nods at him and smiles, turning back to the piano. “Okay, bar twenty one more time, and then we’ll move on. Ready?”
Beside him, Baekhyun snickers, and Jongdae steps on his foot. He sneaks one more glance at Joonmyun before dropping his eyes to his music and keeping them there.
--
True to his word, Baekhyun does actually send out facebook invites to ✮AWESOME TENOR PARTY✮. The entire tenor section is on the guest list, plus Chanyeol, and also Jongin, another boy from the bass section who Chanyeol insists is the coolest even if he is a little shy.
Baekhyun is pretty intense about the whole thing though, so Jongdae isn’t really surprised when most of the section claims to have gotten colds and the only people who end up on the final ‘attending’ list are himself, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Jongin, and, somehow, Joonmyun.
“He even posted on the event wall,” Jongdae says into his phone, scrolling the page on his computer. “‘This is such a good idea, guys’. Exclamation mark, smiley face.” He leans back in his desk chair with a hand over his eyes. “Why aren’t you seeing the problem with this?”
“Because there isn’t a problem,” Baekhyun answers on the other end, sounding almost bored. “It’s not like he’s gonna turn it into a sharing circle, or whatever it is the altos do all the time.”
“I’m not worried about sharing circles,” Jongdae huffs. “I just don’t want him to throw everything off because he’s taking the whole section leader thing too seriously.”
“He won’t and you know it,” Baekhyun yawns. “Honestly, I don’t think you should freak out so much about a sleepover.”
“I’m not freaking out!” Jongdae says shrilly.
Baekhyun snorts. “Look, I know you want to look good in front of sunbae, but you really don’t have to worry about it. We’ll be at my house, so think of it as having home field advantage.”
“I guess,” Jongdae mumbles. He spins himself around in his chair, rereading Joonmyun’s comment every time he faces the computer screen. “I just… I don’t want to look like an idiot, you know?” He stops spinning and looks up at his ceiling instead. “I want him to like me.”
“Well,” Baekhyun sighs, “you already do a bang-up job of looking like an idiot at school, so I don’t think he’ll be surprised.”
“I’m hanging up on you,” Jongdae says, and he can hear Baekhyun laughing even when he pulls the phone away from his ear to end the call.
--
Jongdae does feel a bit better once Saturday night arrives, borderline excited when he reaches Baekhyun’s house. The other five greet him at the door, even if Joonmyun does hang back a little, and he’s ushered inside with promises of shitty action movies and pizza on speed-dial.
Jongin and Kyungsoo follow Chanyeol and Baekhyun back to the living room, leaving Joonmyun with Jongdae while he toes his shoes off and unzips his jacket.
“Let me help you with that,” Joonmyun offers, reaching out to slide the jacket off his shoulders, but Jongdae twists away.
“It’s okay, sunbae,” he says quickly, shrugging the jacket off and folding it on top of his shoes. When he straightens up, Joonmyun has a weird expression, and Jongdae is worried for a moment. “Sorry, I--”
“Call me ‘hyung’,” Joonmyun says over him. “Not ‘sunbae’. Is that alright?”
Jongdae blinks a few times, then nods, and Joonmyun smiles at him. “I don’t want you guys to worry tonight,” he tells him. “We’re not at school or anything, so I’m not section leader or ‘sunbae’ right now. I’m just...”
“Joonmyun-hyung,” Jongdae finishes for him. It feels nice on his tongue, and he smiles back when Joonmyun grins at him.
They walk together to the living room, settling down on the floor in front of the couch the others are sprawled on. Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at Jongdae but presses play anyway, and for the next two hours the six of them sit and watch a futuristic action-drama with more explosions than were probably necessary. It’s entertaining though, if only just because of Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s reactions to every plot twist. Even Joonmyun seems content, enjoying the movie just as much as the others. Jongdae tries to resist the urge to glance over at him every time there’s a scene change.
Two and a half films later, Jongin and Kyungsoo fall asleep on their side of the couch and Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he pushes Jongin’s head away from his shoulder so he leans against Kyungsoo instead. He stands up and pauses the movie before wandering away down the hall, coming back a second later with a blanket that he promptly throws over the two sleeping boys.
“You’re not going to wake them up?” Jongdae asks, and Baekhyun shrugs.
“Just leave them there, it’s late anyway,” Chanyeol says with a yawn.
Baekhyun pulls him up off the couch. “Come on, we’ll go to my room and figure out where the rest of us are sleeping.” He beckons for the others to follow him, leading them quietly through the hallway to his bedroom and closing the door once they’re all inside.
“I’m using my bed, because it’s my bed,” Baekhyun explains. “It can fit two people, but Chanyeol put dibs on it before any of you even arrived. You two,” he says, pointing to Jongdae and Joonmyun, “can take the floor.”
Joonmyun shrugs. “I’ve slept on worse,” he sighs, looking over the pile of various blankets and pillows placed in one corner of the room. Jongdae hums in agreement, trying not to think too hard about sleeping next to Joonmyun. The two of them sit down on the carpet and Baekhyun collapses onto his bed face-first.
“So, what now?” Chanyeol asks, shoving Baekhyun’s legs over so he can sit down.
“Now,” Baekhyun says, pushing himself up on his elbows, “we talk.”
“...About what?” Jongdae asks. Baekhyun makes several vague gestures before flopping down on the bed again.
“I don’t know, what do girls talk about during sleepovers? Chanyeol.” Baekhyun turns on him. “You’ve got a sister. What happens?”
“Uh,” Chanyeol says. “They kind of…” He trails off, frowning. “I don’t know, they talk about everything.”
“Lame,” Baekhyun says. “Hyung, come up with a topic.”
Joonmyun blinks. “Uh--”
“Not choir,” Chanyeol says quickly.
“And not girls or anything like that,” Baekhyun adds, “or Chanyeol won’t shut up about Sandara-sunbae for like, an hour.”
“Not true,” Chanyeol says, looking offended. “Twenty minutes, at the very most.”
Jongdae tries to hide his laughter behind his hands but Chanyeol catches him and glares, cheeks tinted pink. “Watch yourself, Kim Jongdae, we all know which sunbae you won’t shut up about.” Baekhyun immediately smacks him in the arm, but Jongdae can already feel a blush creeping up his neck.
Joonmyun looks back and forth between them. “I-- What?”
“It’s nothing,” Jongdae says, waving his hands and hoping Joonmyun can’t tell how red his face is. Joonmyun frowns, obviously still concerned, until Baekhyun heaves a sigh and throws a pillow at Jongdae’s head.
“Don’t worry about it, hyung,” he says, catching the pillow easily when Jongdae scowls and throws it back at him.
It evolves into a strange and somewhat violent game of catch, until Chanyeol nearly knocks over Baekhyun’s bedside lamp. The conversation then turns to how many things in Baekhyun’s house Chanyeol has broken over their years and years of friendship, and in retaliation Chanyeol does end up spending close to half an hour talking about Sandara-sunbae (“Noona,” he sighs dreamily, and Baekhyun shoves him off the bed) before the topic leads elsewhere.
Baekhyun is the first to fall asleep, and by that time the other three are yawning as well so they decide it’s probably a good idea to turn in. Chanyeol rolls Baekhyun onto one side of the mattress and leans over him to open the window above the bed. “I don’t care if Baek can sleep in a furnace,” he grumbles, “I’ll end up melting in the middle of the night and you guys will have to clean it up.”
He flicks off the lamp and lies down beside Baekhyun, leaving Joonmyun and Jongdae to set up their own bed on the floor with the blankets and pillows Baekhyun had found for them. They end up with one blanket spread out beneath them and another over top, lying back to back with a little bit of space in between their bodies. It’s a tiny bit awkward.
“Goodnight, I guess,” Jongdae says, and Joonmyun repeats it back to him, and then the room is quiet except for the sounds of their breathing. The floor is comfortable enough, at least, and Jongdae is tired enough to drift off to sleep easily.
--
Except he wakes up, suddenly, and his first thought is that he has never been this cold in his whole life.
Baekhyun’s room is freezing, and while Jongdae can’t quite see puffs of his breath in the air, his nose is definitely an icecube. He squints at the clock on Baekhyun’s desk, registering that it’s close to four in the morning before covering his face with the blanket and shuddering.
It’s because of the open window, he knows, but the room is pitch black, and he doesn’t want to get up to close it because he’ll have to navigate around the tangle of limbs that is Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Jongdae has had enough sleepovers with the two of them to know that Chanyeol sleeps like a starfish and Baekhyun noses his way into whatever warmth he can find, like a puppy. He figures the combination would be a bit of a mess.
Plus, if he stands up, he’ll have to leave the warmth of the blanket behind, as half of it is covering Joonmyun on the other side of their makeshift bed. So, resigned to the situation, Jongdae curls into a ball and tries his hardest to go back to sleep.
After a few minutes with his eyes tightly shut, his legs start to ache. Stretching them out again only makes him colder and eventually he just glares up at the ceiling, too uncomfortable to do anything. How could everyone else possibly be sleeping when Jongdae is pretty sure his nose is going to get frostbite? He can still pick out sounds of the others’ slow breathing, and even rolls over to check if Joonmyun is awake - they should be in the same boat temperature-wise, after all - but, of course, Joonmyun is asleep and serene and Jongdae is turning into a popsicle.
He wants to be upset at Joonmyun, for being asleep and apparently comfortable while Jongdae’s teeth are almost chattering, but in rolling over he’s ended up a little closer to Joonmyun than he was originally. Maybe Jongdae’s just freezing, but he swears he can feel heat coming off Joonmyun’s body. His desire to not freeze to death at four in the morning overrides his dignity in the moment, and he wiggles his way across the gap to curl up against Joonmyun’s back.
He doesn’t mean to do anything more than just bask in the heat for a while, but Joonmyun is so warm and Jongdae’s nose is so cold, and he nuzzles his face into the back of Joonmyun’s shirt for just a moment.
It’s then that Joonmyun snuffles a little, stirring, and Jongdae contemplates rolling away to maybe save the last bit of his dignity, but he’s just too cold to move back to his side of the blanket. Still, the thought of being caught by the person he was just cuddling up to is pretty embarrassing, considering he’s not twelve anymore and should probably be able to get back to sleep on his own.
Joonmyun peeks over his shoulder, eyes only half-open. “Jongdae?” he mumbles, shifting a bit more to see him better. “Are you alright?”
“Sorry,” Jongdae whispers. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, hyung.”
With a sigh, Joonmyun rolls over properly so they’re face to face, and Jongdae feels another wave of embarrassment. He curls in on himself, glad for the dark and how it hides how miserable he probably looks.
“Hey,” Joonmyun says softly, reaching out and placing his hand on Jongdae’s arm. His palm is warm and the touch makes Jongdae shiver. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s cold,” Jongdae mumbles.
Joonmyun sits up a little to look past him. “Ah, I guess Chanyeol forgot to close the window. It is kind of chilly in here…” He lies back down, gaze on Jongdae once more. Jongdae closes his eyes and wills himself to fall asleep, but he’s still too cold to focus on anything else.
After a few seconds, Joonmyun’s hand tightens a little, tugging gently until Jongdae opens his eyes and blinks confusedly at Joonmyun.
“Come here,” Joonmyun murmurs, sliding his hand down Jongdae’s arm. Jongdae hesitates for a moment before deciding he is too cold to resist. Wordlessly, he shuffles over until there’s no gap between their bodies at all, their knees brushing as Jongdae practically plasters himself against Joonmyun’s warm chest. Joonmyun slings his arm over Jongdae’s waist, almost protective, and Jongdae’s skin tingles. His face feels like it’s about to burst into flames for how hard he’s blushing, but it’s also four in the morning, and Joonmyun is warm.
Snuffling softly, Jongdae presses his face into Joonmyun’s shirt, making Joonmyun huff out a quiet laugh.
“Go back to sleep, Jongdae.”
So, Jongdae does.
--
The next time he wakes up, there’s sunlight streaming in through the window and his back is pressed to Joonmyun’s chest. Joonmyun’s arm is still around his waist, now clutching lightly at the front of Jongdae’s shirt, and Jongdae can feel his breaths on the back of his neck, deep and even.
He should probably move, since he’s awake and aware of their positions and no longer freezing to death. But Joonmyun is still so warm against him, and Jongdae closes his eyes, ready to fall back asleep and deal with it later.
It’s then, of course, that the bedroom door is kicked open and Baekhyun starts yelling from the hall outside.
“Breakfast!” He shrieks, more excited than Jongdae thinks he has any right to be. “Chanyeol made breakfast and it’s ready right now! We’re gonna eat it all if you don’t get up!” Cackling, he runs back down the hall to the kitchen.
There’s no chance anyone could’ve slept through Baekhyun’s wake up call, and sure enough Jongdae feels Joonmyun shifting behind him when the room is quiet again. He starts to excavate himself from under Joonmyun’s arm, but Joonmyun hums sleepily and presses it back down against Jongdae’s chest.
Jongdae blinks. “Hyung?”
“Good morning,” Joonmyun murmurs against his neck, making him shiver.
“Hyung,” Jongdae says, tensing as Joonmyun’s hand trails down his front. “Baekhyun said--”
“Breakfast, yeah,” Joonmyun sighs, his fingers teasing at the hem of Jongdae’s shirt before sliding underneath. “I heard him.”
“Shouldn’t we, um.” Jongdae swallows. Joonmyun’s palm is warm and distracting against his bare skin. “Shouldn’t we get up?”
Humming, Joonmyun lets his fingers glide over Jongdae’s abdomen, feather-light. “Do you want to?”
Jongdae stifles another shiver, not responding, and Joonmyun sits up a little, propping himself up on his elbow. He keeps his other arm around Jongdae, stroking him gently.
“Last night,” he says, leaning down over Jongdae’s ear, “Chanyeol said there was a sunbae that you can’t stop talking about.”
“Hyung,” Jongdae squeaks, “what--” Joonmyun scratches lightly over his stomach and Jongdae cuts himself off with a whine.
“Who is it?” Joonmyun asks softly, smoothing his palm over Jongdae’s abdomen again. Jongdae bites his lip to keep from making any more embarrassing noises, but Joonmyun’s breath is hot against his neck, and it’s proving difficult. He might also be a little hard, and imagining Joonmyun’s hand sliding lower over his hips isn’t helping much.
He’s close to giving up all attempts to stay quiet when Joonmyun murmurs his name against his neck, but then Joonmyun’s hand slips out of his shirt and the heat against his back is gone, and Jongdae scrambles to sit up just as Joonmyun tosses his half of the blanket over him.
Jongdae squawks and pulls it off his head just in time to see Joonmyun smile at him as he pads out of the bedroom. Stunned, he stays sitting on the floor and tries to get his breath back, listening as Joonmyun enters the kitchen and greets everyone.
“Jongdae will be a couple minutes,” he hears Joonmyun say. “He’s still waking up.”
Jongdae flops back onto the floor and puts his hands over his face. What the fuck was that?
Eventually, when he’s no longer breathing like he just finished a marathon and has adjusted his pajama pants discreetly enough, Jongdae gathers up enough of his brain to stand up and join the others in the kitchen. Joonmyun smiles at him from across the table when he sits down, but he ducks his head, hoping his face isn’t as red as it feels.
He has a hard time paying attention to the conversation at hand all through breakfast, too distracted by the way he can almost feel Joonmyun’s fingers still ghosting over his skin. “Earth to Jongdae,” Baekhyun laughs, waving his hand in front of Jongdae’s face for the third time in twenty minutes. “Jeez, do you need to go back to sleep or something?”
“You’re the one who woke me up,” Jongdae grumbles, but shakes his head in an attempt to clear it and goes back to his breakfast. He glances up at Joonmyun only once, but quickly looks back down when he sees that Joonmyun is already staring at him, a concerned expression on his face.
--
Jongin gets picked up by his parents after breakfast, so the others start preparing to leave as well, except Chanyeol who insists on staying behind to watch the second half of the movie they didn’t finish with Baekhyun. Jongdae almost wants to join them and talk to Baekhyun about the night before, but just the thought of Joonmyun’s hands on his skin sends a wave of heat down his spine. He’s not sure if he could talk about it out loud without wanting to melt into the floorboards. Especially with Chanyeol in the room.
So, Jongdae gathers up his things and sets them by the door while he slips his shoes back on, and doesn’t notice Joonmyun watching him until he stands up and they’re face to face.
“Let me drive you home,” Joonmyun says before Jongdae can do anything other than get his breath caught in his throat. He sounds casual but he stands just a little too close to Jongdae to really achieve it. “I think we live in the same direction, and I could save you a bit of time.”
“Okay,” Jongdae manages, smiling weakly. “Thanks, hyung.” Joonmyun smiles back at him but still looks a bit worried, his expression the same as it had been during breakfast. Still, he twirls his car keys around one finger as they say goodbye to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, and leads Jongdae out of the house.
Joonmyun’s car is nice, but the drive home is awkward. The distance between Baekhyun’s house and Jongdae’s isn’t very long, but aside from giving directions, Jongdae doesn’t speak. Granted, Joonmyun doesn’t either, but he also has to focus on the road, so Jongdae sits with his fingers twisting together in his lap and keeps his mouth firmly shut.
He doesn’t want to say anything dumb, knowing he’ll spend the rest of the weekend dreading choir practice on Monday if he does. They’re so close to his house already, where he’ll be alone and free to curl up in bed and grumble his thoughts into his pillow. He just has to get through the next few minutes without blurting anything stupid like ‘sorry I stare at you so much’, or ‘I want you to touch me again’.
When Joonmyun finally pulls up outside the house, Jongdae holds back his sigh of relief and waits for him to unlock the passenger-side door. He doesn’t make any move to, though, keeping his eyes forward even when Jongdae glances over at him.
“Hyung?” Jongdae says quietly, turning in his seat to look at him better. Joonmyun doesn’t respond right away, sliding his hands off the steering wheel and letting out a long breath.
“I’m sorry,” he says eventually. “About earlier, I didn’t mean to-- to freak you out, I guess.”
“You didn’t,” Jongdae says. “Or, well, I mean, you did, but--”
“It was inappropriate,” Joonmyun says, cutting him off. “I should’ve made sure you were okay with it beforehand, instead of just… yeah.” He looks down at his hands in his lap, brow furrowed.
Jongdae takes a deep breath and lets it out shakily. “It’s alright,” he says quietly. “I-- I didn’t mind.”
He turns away to hide how much his cheeks are burning, and misses how quickly Joonmyun raises his head to looks over at him.
“Really?” Joonmyun asks, sounding almost breathless. Jongdae manages to nod. “I thought that you…” He trails off, but Jongdae doesn’t turn his head.
It’s another few seconds before Joonmyun moves, stroking his fingers along Jongdae’s jaw and gently tilting his face back towards him. Jongdae sucks in a breath when their eyes meet, lips parting softly, and he watches Joonmyun’s gaze flicker down for a moment before locking with his again.
“I like you,” he says, quiet but sure. “Kind of a lot.”
Jongdae feels a little bit like he’s melting. His hands fly up to grasp the front of Joonmyun’s sweater and Joonmyun swipes his thumb over Jongdae’s cheek, smiling shyly at him.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, almost timid, like he’s worried Jongdae will say no. Jongdae is pretty sure his heart is going to burst out of his chest.
He nods, tightening his grip just a little, and Joonmyun leans in to press a short, chaste kiss on his lips. He tries to pull away after but Jongdae follows, tugging on his sweater to bring him back so he can kiss him again, and again. When they finally do break apart, Joonmyun laughs breathlessly and Jongdae smiles, releasing Joonmyun’s sweater and trailing his hands down his chest instead.
“I-- me too,” he breathes. “Like you. A lot.”
Joonmyun beams at him. “It’d kind of suck if you didn’t,” he says. He trails his fingers across Jongdae’s jaw again.
“Only kind of?” Jongdae prompts, leaning into the touch.
“Well, after last night, I mean,” Joonmyun says, and Jongdae blushes at the memory. “I’d probably have to buy you dinner to apologize.”
Jongdae hums. “You could still buy me dinner,” he suggests, and Joonmyun laughs before ducking in to kiss him again.
They stay in the car for a bit longer before Jongdae remembers that he has a house with a bedroom and a bed, in fact, only a few metres away. Joonmyun takes his hand as they walk up the driveway to the door, and Jongdae does his best to put his key in the lock one-handed so he doesn’t have to let go.
It’s weird, having Joonmyun in his house, to see his sunbae kicking off his shoes by the door and hanging up his jacket next to Jongdae’s. He also follows Jongdae up the stairs and into his bedroom, but that’s a different sort of weird, the sort that makes Jongdae’s heart beat a little faster.
Jongdae closes the bedroom door behind them and turns around to look at Joonmyun, standing a bit awkwardly in the middle of the room and glancing around at the band posters on his walls.
“Hyung,” Jongdae calls, getting his attention again before crossing the room and stopping in front of him. Joonmyun brings his hands up to rest on Jongdae’s hips and leans in to kiss him softly. Jongdae smiles against his mouth as their lips slide together, curling his fingers in Joonmyun’s sweater again. The grip on his hips tightens, contrasting how gentle the kisses are. It makes Jongdae’s knees a bit weak.
“Was it me?” Joonmyun asks suddenly, murmuring the words against Jongdae’s lips. “The one you wouldn’t stop talking about?”
Jongdae makes a mental note to kill Chanyeol for letting that slip in the first place. When he doesn’t respond, Joonmyun tugs him forward a little, ducking down to nuzzle just under his ear. “Jongdae,” he breathes against his neck, and Jongdae shivers against him, lips parting.
“It was you,” he admits, breath hitching when Joonmyun trails his lips down the column of his throat. “I wanted you to, ah, to notice me.”
“I did notice you,” Joonmyun says, pulling back. “I caught you watching me so many times… so I started watching you.”
Jongdae blinks up at him, cheeks pink. “Hyung, that sounds like something from a bad romance novel.”
Joonmyun just laughs, kissing him again and pulling him backwards until they can both fall onto Jongdae’s bed. Jongdae scoots up to the headboard and lies down on his side, and Joonmyun follows suit, settling down next to him. The bed isn’t very wide so there’s not much space between them, and they let their legs tangle together at one end. They lie still for a few moments, just looking at each other, before Joonmyun smiles shyly and places his hand over Jongdae’s, resting on the bedspread in between them.
“What are you going to do now that I’ve really noticed you?” he asks, voice soft as he strokes his thumb over Jongdae’s knuckles.
“Not sure,” Jongdae says slowly. He hasn’t really had time to think that far ahead, considering that only yesterday the idea of lying on his bed with his sunbae seemed impossibly out of reach. He flexes his hand and links their fingers together. “How long can you stay here for?”
“There’s school tomorrow,” Joonmyun reminds him. “Choir practice, too.”
Jongdae frowns. “Not overnight, then?”
“We could sleep now, instead,” Joonmyun suggests, looking maybe just a bit over-excited at the idea. “Like, just take a nap, you know? I mean, it’s not like we didn’t sleep last night, but this is an actual bed.” Jongdae snickers at him, but shifts closer all the same and lets Joonmyun drape his arm around him.
“You’re gonna get too used to sharing a bed with me, hyung,” Jongdae yawns, suddenly feeling like having a nap isn’t such a bad idea.
“You’re right,” Joonmyun sighs, tapping Jongdae’s fingers with his own. “Pretty soon I won’t be able to sleep alone at all. I’ll have to come find you all the time.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” Jongdae says, squeezing his hand, and Joonmyun smiles, leaning in to press one more kiss on his lips.
rating: PG-13
wordcount: 5.2k
summary: Baekhyun is, for some reason, convinced that forcing Jongdae to attend a sleepover party with the sunbae he has a crush on is a good idea.
notes: sorry everyone i came to the dramatic realization a while ago that suchen is my real otp :/ the alternate title for this is "this didnt take me 4 months to write so suck my dick (except they dont suck any dicks so dont get your hopes up for it)". there's half a scene in here that actually happened to me in real life during a sleepover four days ago?? beware of friends who make you sleep on their floors, kids.
also cross-posted to AO3
also, a sequel
“If I have to sing the same four bars of Ave Maria one more time,” Jongdae groans as he flops down on the choir risers, “I might throw up.”
Baekhyun makes a noise of agreement, sitting next to him and resting his chin on his hands. “What I don’t get is why the soprano section got to take a break, and we had to stay in with the conductor.”
“Because the soprano section knows their part,” Kyungsoo replies from beside them, not looking up from his music score. “And you keep missing the interval in bar twenty. Coincidentally, this is also the reason that we have after school sectionals, and they don’t.”
Baekhyun sticks his tongue out and Jongdae snickers. “My point is, the girls’ sections get special breaks and scheduled get-togethers - like, sleepovers and weekend retreats and cool shit like that - and we don’t.” He crosses his arms and pouts. “It’s unfair.”
“Isn’t it for section-bonding or something?” Jongdae says, then jumps half a foot in the air when, suddenly behind him, Chanyeol hums in agreement.
“It’s like, teamwork and stuff,” he says, as if he didn’t just appear out of nowhere. He sits down on the step above them. “Girl power or whatever.”
Sitting up, Baekhyun squints at him. “What are you doing? This is a tenor-section-only practice. Go away.”
“Your section leader isn’t even here yet,” Chanyeol points out. Baekhyun huffs and turns away.
“Anyway,” he continues, pointedly ignoring Chanyeol, “our section has never had any extra special bonding time, and we get along just fine, right? Don’t we?”
“Well, only about half the section is here, currently,” Jongdae says, looking around at the rest of the room.
Kyungsoo turns a page. “We’ve also known you since eighth grade.”
“Fine,” Baekhyun grumbles, standing up. “We’re gonna have our own girly sleepover party. With snacks and movies and all that shit. It’ll be awesome and we’ll come out more section-bonded than anyone else.”
“If you say so,” Jongdae muses, watching Baekhyun pace back and forth in front of them.
“I do say so,” Baekhyun agrees, tapping his chin. “My house. This weekend. Tenor section only.” Chanyeol looks a bit crestfallen, and Baekhyun stops in his tracks to give him a thoughtful once-over. “Maybe featuring the parts of the bass section that I actually like.”
Chanyeol perks up again, and Baekhyun turns to Kyungsoo and Jongdae, hands on his hips. “You guys better come,” he says seriously. “It’ll be super lame if the whole section shows up and you don’t. I’ll tell them every embarrassing story I can think of, I swear.”
“You say that like I have something better to be doing on the weekend,” Jongdae sighs, and Baekhyun whoops triumphantly just as the rest of the tenor section comes through the door. They all give him weird looks, which Baekhyun ignores.
The last to enter the room is their section leader, Joonmyun, who closes the door behind him and apologizes for being late. A murmur of ‘hello, sunbae’ goes around the room, and Jongdae immediately sits up straighter. Baekhyun rolls his eyes at him.
Joonmyun gets only a few steps into the room before he notices Chanyeol lounging on the risers and smiles. “Are you joining us today, Chanyeol?” he asks, and Chanyeol grins back at him.
“If you’ll have me,” he answers, and pretends not to see the glare Baekhyun sends his way.
Joonmyun heads over to the piano in the centre of the room and beckons for the rest of the section to crowd around. “We should get started right away,” he says, taking out a piece of music and flipping it open. He runs his fingers down the page and Jongdae follows the movement with his eyes until he places his hands on the piano keys, then flicks his gaze up to watch Joonmyun’s face as he reads the notes.
Baekhyun punches him in the arm. “Stop staring,” he stage-whispers. “You look creepy.”
“I’m not staring,” Jongdae says indignantly, rubbing his arm as they stand up to join the others at the piano. Definitely not staring. He just likes to look at Joonmyun when he’s reading music, to see his expressions. Also when he’s singing, or writing anything down, and especially when they cross paths in the hallway and Joonmyun smiles at him. He doesn’t stare, though, because that would be--
“Jongdae?” Joonmyun says, looking at him with eyebrows raised, and Jongdae tunes back in and realizes he’s definitely been watching Joonmyun’s hands on the piano instead of singing.
“Y-yes, sunbae?”
“You okay? You looked a little out of it.”
Jongdae feels his cheeks heating up. “I’m fine, sunbae.”
Joonmyun nods at him and smiles, turning back to the piano. “Okay, bar twenty one more time, and then we’ll move on. Ready?”
Beside him, Baekhyun snickers, and Jongdae steps on his foot. He sneaks one more glance at Joonmyun before dropping his eyes to his music and keeping them there.
--
True to his word, Baekhyun does actually send out facebook invites to ✮AWESOME TENOR PARTY✮. The entire tenor section is on the guest list, plus Chanyeol, and also Jongin, another boy from the bass section who Chanyeol insists is the coolest even if he is a little shy.
Baekhyun is pretty intense about the whole thing though, so Jongdae isn’t really surprised when most of the section claims to have gotten colds and the only people who end up on the final ‘attending’ list are himself, Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Jongin, and, somehow, Joonmyun.
“He even posted on the event wall,” Jongdae says into his phone, scrolling the page on his computer. “‘This is such a good idea, guys’. Exclamation mark, smiley face.” He leans back in his desk chair with a hand over his eyes. “Why aren’t you seeing the problem with this?”
“Because there isn’t a problem,” Baekhyun answers on the other end, sounding almost bored. “It’s not like he’s gonna turn it into a sharing circle, or whatever it is the altos do all the time.”
“I’m not worried about sharing circles,” Jongdae huffs. “I just don’t want him to throw everything off because he’s taking the whole section leader thing too seriously.”
“He won’t and you know it,” Baekhyun yawns. “Honestly, I don’t think you should freak out so much about a sleepover.”
“I’m not freaking out!” Jongdae says shrilly.
Baekhyun snorts. “Look, I know you want to look good in front of sunbae, but you really don’t have to worry about it. We’ll be at my house, so think of it as having home field advantage.”
“I guess,” Jongdae mumbles. He spins himself around in his chair, rereading Joonmyun’s comment every time he faces the computer screen. “I just… I don’t want to look like an idiot, you know?” He stops spinning and looks up at his ceiling instead. “I want him to like me.”
“Well,” Baekhyun sighs, “you already do a bang-up job of looking like an idiot at school, so I don’t think he’ll be surprised.”
“I’m hanging up on you,” Jongdae says, and he can hear Baekhyun laughing even when he pulls the phone away from his ear to end the call.
--
Jongdae does feel a bit better once Saturday night arrives, borderline excited when he reaches Baekhyun’s house. The other five greet him at the door, even if Joonmyun does hang back a little, and he’s ushered inside with promises of shitty action movies and pizza on speed-dial.
Jongin and Kyungsoo follow Chanyeol and Baekhyun back to the living room, leaving Joonmyun with Jongdae while he toes his shoes off and unzips his jacket.
“Let me help you with that,” Joonmyun offers, reaching out to slide the jacket off his shoulders, but Jongdae twists away.
“It’s okay, sunbae,” he says quickly, shrugging the jacket off and folding it on top of his shoes. When he straightens up, Joonmyun has a weird expression, and Jongdae is worried for a moment. “Sorry, I--”
“Call me ‘hyung’,” Joonmyun says over him. “Not ‘sunbae’. Is that alright?”
Jongdae blinks a few times, then nods, and Joonmyun smiles at him. “I don’t want you guys to worry tonight,” he tells him. “We’re not at school or anything, so I’m not section leader or ‘sunbae’ right now. I’m just...”
“Joonmyun-hyung,” Jongdae finishes for him. It feels nice on his tongue, and he smiles back when Joonmyun grins at him.
They walk together to the living room, settling down on the floor in front of the couch the others are sprawled on. Baekhyun raises an eyebrow at Jongdae but presses play anyway, and for the next two hours the six of them sit and watch a futuristic action-drama with more explosions than were probably necessary. It’s entertaining though, if only just because of Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s reactions to every plot twist. Even Joonmyun seems content, enjoying the movie just as much as the others. Jongdae tries to resist the urge to glance over at him every time there’s a scene change.
Two and a half films later, Jongin and Kyungsoo fall asleep on their side of the couch and Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he pushes Jongin’s head away from his shoulder so he leans against Kyungsoo instead. He stands up and pauses the movie before wandering away down the hall, coming back a second later with a blanket that he promptly throws over the two sleeping boys.
“You’re not going to wake them up?” Jongdae asks, and Baekhyun shrugs.
“Just leave them there, it’s late anyway,” Chanyeol says with a yawn.
Baekhyun pulls him up off the couch. “Come on, we’ll go to my room and figure out where the rest of us are sleeping.” He beckons for the others to follow him, leading them quietly through the hallway to his bedroom and closing the door once they’re all inside.
“I’m using my bed, because it’s my bed,” Baekhyun explains. “It can fit two people, but Chanyeol put dibs on it before any of you even arrived. You two,” he says, pointing to Jongdae and Joonmyun, “can take the floor.”
Joonmyun shrugs. “I’ve slept on worse,” he sighs, looking over the pile of various blankets and pillows placed in one corner of the room. Jongdae hums in agreement, trying not to think too hard about sleeping next to Joonmyun. The two of them sit down on the carpet and Baekhyun collapses onto his bed face-first.
“So, what now?” Chanyeol asks, shoving Baekhyun’s legs over so he can sit down.
“Now,” Baekhyun says, pushing himself up on his elbows, “we talk.”
“...About what?” Jongdae asks. Baekhyun makes several vague gestures before flopping down on the bed again.
“I don’t know, what do girls talk about during sleepovers? Chanyeol.” Baekhyun turns on him. “You’ve got a sister. What happens?”
“Uh,” Chanyeol says. “They kind of…” He trails off, frowning. “I don’t know, they talk about everything.”
“Lame,” Baekhyun says. “Hyung, come up with a topic.”
Joonmyun blinks. “Uh--”
“Not choir,” Chanyeol says quickly.
“And not girls or anything like that,” Baekhyun adds, “or Chanyeol won’t shut up about Sandara-sunbae for like, an hour.”
“Not true,” Chanyeol says, looking offended. “Twenty minutes, at the very most.”
Jongdae tries to hide his laughter behind his hands but Chanyeol catches him and glares, cheeks tinted pink. “Watch yourself, Kim Jongdae, we all know which sunbae you won’t shut up about.” Baekhyun immediately smacks him in the arm, but Jongdae can already feel a blush creeping up his neck.
Joonmyun looks back and forth between them. “I-- What?”
“It’s nothing,” Jongdae says, waving his hands and hoping Joonmyun can’t tell how red his face is. Joonmyun frowns, obviously still concerned, until Baekhyun heaves a sigh and throws a pillow at Jongdae’s head.
“Don’t worry about it, hyung,” he says, catching the pillow easily when Jongdae scowls and throws it back at him.
It evolves into a strange and somewhat violent game of catch, until Chanyeol nearly knocks over Baekhyun’s bedside lamp. The conversation then turns to how many things in Baekhyun’s house Chanyeol has broken over their years and years of friendship, and in retaliation Chanyeol does end up spending close to half an hour talking about Sandara-sunbae (“Noona,” he sighs dreamily, and Baekhyun shoves him off the bed) before the topic leads elsewhere.
Baekhyun is the first to fall asleep, and by that time the other three are yawning as well so they decide it’s probably a good idea to turn in. Chanyeol rolls Baekhyun onto one side of the mattress and leans over him to open the window above the bed. “I don’t care if Baek can sleep in a furnace,” he grumbles, “I’ll end up melting in the middle of the night and you guys will have to clean it up.”
He flicks off the lamp and lies down beside Baekhyun, leaving Joonmyun and Jongdae to set up their own bed on the floor with the blankets and pillows Baekhyun had found for them. They end up with one blanket spread out beneath them and another over top, lying back to back with a little bit of space in between their bodies. It’s a tiny bit awkward.
“Goodnight, I guess,” Jongdae says, and Joonmyun repeats it back to him, and then the room is quiet except for the sounds of their breathing. The floor is comfortable enough, at least, and Jongdae is tired enough to drift off to sleep easily.
--
Except he wakes up, suddenly, and his first thought is that he has never been this cold in his whole life.
Baekhyun’s room is freezing, and while Jongdae can’t quite see puffs of his breath in the air, his nose is definitely an icecube. He squints at the clock on Baekhyun’s desk, registering that it’s close to four in the morning before covering his face with the blanket and shuddering.
It’s because of the open window, he knows, but the room is pitch black, and he doesn’t want to get up to close it because he’ll have to navigate around the tangle of limbs that is Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Jongdae has had enough sleepovers with the two of them to know that Chanyeol sleeps like a starfish and Baekhyun noses his way into whatever warmth he can find, like a puppy. He figures the combination would be a bit of a mess.
Plus, if he stands up, he’ll have to leave the warmth of the blanket behind, as half of it is covering Joonmyun on the other side of their makeshift bed. So, resigned to the situation, Jongdae curls into a ball and tries his hardest to go back to sleep.
After a few minutes with his eyes tightly shut, his legs start to ache. Stretching them out again only makes him colder and eventually he just glares up at the ceiling, too uncomfortable to do anything. How could everyone else possibly be sleeping when Jongdae is pretty sure his nose is going to get frostbite? He can still pick out sounds of the others’ slow breathing, and even rolls over to check if Joonmyun is awake - they should be in the same boat temperature-wise, after all - but, of course, Joonmyun is asleep and serene and Jongdae is turning into a popsicle.
He wants to be upset at Joonmyun, for being asleep and apparently comfortable while Jongdae’s teeth are almost chattering, but in rolling over he’s ended up a little closer to Joonmyun than he was originally. Maybe Jongdae’s just freezing, but he swears he can feel heat coming off Joonmyun’s body. His desire to not freeze to death at four in the morning overrides his dignity in the moment, and he wiggles his way across the gap to curl up against Joonmyun’s back.
He doesn’t mean to do anything more than just bask in the heat for a while, but Joonmyun is so warm and Jongdae’s nose is so cold, and he nuzzles his face into the back of Joonmyun’s shirt for just a moment.
It’s then that Joonmyun snuffles a little, stirring, and Jongdae contemplates rolling away to maybe save the last bit of his dignity, but he’s just too cold to move back to his side of the blanket. Still, the thought of being caught by the person he was just cuddling up to is pretty embarrassing, considering he’s not twelve anymore and should probably be able to get back to sleep on his own.
Joonmyun peeks over his shoulder, eyes only half-open. “Jongdae?” he mumbles, shifting a bit more to see him better. “Are you alright?”
“Sorry,” Jongdae whispers. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, hyung.”
With a sigh, Joonmyun rolls over properly so they’re face to face, and Jongdae feels another wave of embarrassment. He curls in on himself, glad for the dark and how it hides how miserable he probably looks.
“Hey,” Joonmyun says softly, reaching out and placing his hand on Jongdae’s arm. His palm is warm and the touch makes Jongdae shiver. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s cold,” Jongdae mumbles.
Joonmyun sits up a little to look past him. “Ah, I guess Chanyeol forgot to close the window. It is kind of chilly in here…” He lies back down, gaze on Jongdae once more. Jongdae closes his eyes and wills himself to fall asleep, but he’s still too cold to focus on anything else.
After a few seconds, Joonmyun’s hand tightens a little, tugging gently until Jongdae opens his eyes and blinks confusedly at Joonmyun.
“Come here,” Joonmyun murmurs, sliding his hand down Jongdae’s arm. Jongdae hesitates for a moment before deciding he is too cold to resist. Wordlessly, he shuffles over until there’s no gap between their bodies at all, their knees brushing as Jongdae practically plasters himself against Joonmyun’s warm chest. Joonmyun slings his arm over Jongdae’s waist, almost protective, and Jongdae’s skin tingles. His face feels like it’s about to burst into flames for how hard he’s blushing, but it’s also four in the morning, and Joonmyun is warm.
Snuffling softly, Jongdae presses his face into Joonmyun’s shirt, making Joonmyun huff out a quiet laugh.
“Go back to sleep, Jongdae.”
So, Jongdae does.
--
The next time he wakes up, there’s sunlight streaming in through the window and his back is pressed to Joonmyun’s chest. Joonmyun’s arm is still around his waist, now clutching lightly at the front of Jongdae’s shirt, and Jongdae can feel his breaths on the back of his neck, deep and even.
He should probably move, since he’s awake and aware of their positions and no longer freezing to death. But Joonmyun is still so warm against him, and Jongdae closes his eyes, ready to fall back asleep and deal with it later.
It’s then, of course, that the bedroom door is kicked open and Baekhyun starts yelling from the hall outside.
“Breakfast!” He shrieks, more excited than Jongdae thinks he has any right to be. “Chanyeol made breakfast and it’s ready right now! We’re gonna eat it all if you don’t get up!” Cackling, he runs back down the hall to the kitchen.
There’s no chance anyone could’ve slept through Baekhyun’s wake up call, and sure enough Jongdae feels Joonmyun shifting behind him when the room is quiet again. He starts to excavate himself from under Joonmyun’s arm, but Joonmyun hums sleepily and presses it back down against Jongdae’s chest.
Jongdae blinks. “Hyung?”
“Good morning,” Joonmyun murmurs against his neck, making him shiver.
“Hyung,” Jongdae says, tensing as Joonmyun’s hand trails down his front. “Baekhyun said--”
“Breakfast, yeah,” Joonmyun sighs, his fingers teasing at the hem of Jongdae’s shirt before sliding underneath. “I heard him.”
“Shouldn’t we, um.” Jongdae swallows. Joonmyun’s palm is warm and distracting against his bare skin. “Shouldn’t we get up?”
Humming, Joonmyun lets his fingers glide over Jongdae’s abdomen, feather-light. “Do you want to?”
Jongdae stifles another shiver, not responding, and Joonmyun sits up a little, propping himself up on his elbow. He keeps his other arm around Jongdae, stroking him gently.
“Last night,” he says, leaning down over Jongdae’s ear, “Chanyeol said there was a sunbae that you can’t stop talking about.”
“Hyung,” Jongdae squeaks, “what--” Joonmyun scratches lightly over his stomach and Jongdae cuts himself off with a whine.
“Who is it?” Joonmyun asks softly, smoothing his palm over Jongdae’s abdomen again. Jongdae bites his lip to keep from making any more embarrassing noises, but Joonmyun’s breath is hot against his neck, and it’s proving difficult. He might also be a little hard, and imagining Joonmyun’s hand sliding lower over his hips isn’t helping much.
He’s close to giving up all attempts to stay quiet when Joonmyun murmurs his name against his neck, but then Joonmyun’s hand slips out of his shirt and the heat against his back is gone, and Jongdae scrambles to sit up just as Joonmyun tosses his half of the blanket over him.
Jongdae squawks and pulls it off his head just in time to see Joonmyun smile at him as he pads out of the bedroom. Stunned, he stays sitting on the floor and tries to get his breath back, listening as Joonmyun enters the kitchen and greets everyone.
“Jongdae will be a couple minutes,” he hears Joonmyun say. “He’s still waking up.”
Jongdae flops back onto the floor and puts his hands over his face. What the fuck was that?
Eventually, when he’s no longer breathing like he just finished a marathon and has adjusted his pajama pants discreetly enough, Jongdae gathers up enough of his brain to stand up and join the others in the kitchen. Joonmyun smiles at him from across the table when he sits down, but he ducks his head, hoping his face isn’t as red as it feels.
He has a hard time paying attention to the conversation at hand all through breakfast, too distracted by the way he can almost feel Joonmyun’s fingers still ghosting over his skin. “Earth to Jongdae,” Baekhyun laughs, waving his hand in front of Jongdae’s face for the third time in twenty minutes. “Jeez, do you need to go back to sleep or something?”
“You’re the one who woke me up,” Jongdae grumbles, but shakes his head in an attempt to clear it and goes back to his breakfast. He glances up at Joonmyun only once, but quickly looks back down when he sees that Joonmyun is already staring at him, a concerned expression on his face.
--
Jongin gets picked up by his parents after breakfast, so the others start preparing to leave as well, except Chanyeol who insists on staying behind to watch the second half of the movie they didn’t finish with Baekhyun. Jongdae almost wants to join them and talk to Baekhyun about the night before, but just the thought of Joonmyun’s hands on his skin sends a wave of heat down his spine. He’s not sure if he could talk about it out loud without wanting to melt into the floorboards. Especially with Chanyeol in the room.
So, Jongdae gathers up his things and sets them by the door while he slips his shoes back on, and doesn’t notice Joonmyun watching him until he stands up and they’re face to face.
“Let me drive you home,” Joonmyun says before Jongdae can do anything other than get his breath caught in his throat. He sounds casual but he stands just a little too close to Jongdae to really achieve it. “I think we live in the same direction, and I could save you a bit of time.”
“Okay,” Jongdae manages, smiling weakly. “Thanks, hyung.” Joonmyun smiles back at him but still looks a bit worried, his expression the same as it had been during breakfast. Still, he twirls his car keys around one finger as they say goodbye to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, and leads Jongdae out of the house.
Joonmyun’s car is nice, but the drive home is awkward. The distance between Baekhyun’s house and Jongdae’s isn’t very long, but aside from giving directions, Jongdae doesn’t speak. Granted, Joonmyun doesn’t either, but he also has to focus on the road, so Jongdae sits with his fingers twisting together in his lap and keeps his mouth firmly shut.
He doesn’t want to say anything dumb, knowing he’ll spend the rest of the weekend dreading choir practice on Monday if he does. They’re so close to his house already, where he’ll be alone and free to curl up in bed and grumble his thoughts into his pillow. He just has to get through the next few minutes without blurting anything stupid like ‘sorry I stare at you so much’, or ‘I want you to touch me again’.
When Joonmyun finally pulls up outside the house, Jongdae holds back his sigh of relief and waits for him to unlock the passenger-side door. He doesn’t make any move to, though, keeping his eyes forward even when Jongdae glances over at him.
“Hyung?” Jongdae says quietly, turning in his seat to look at him better. Joonmyun doesn’t respond right away, sliding his hands off the steering wheel and letting out a long breath.
“I’m sorry,” he says eventually. “About earlier, I didn’t mean to-- to freak you out, I guess.”
“You didn’t,” Jongdae says. “Or, well, I mean, you did, but--”
“It was inappropriate,” Joonmyun says, cutting him off. “I should’ve made sure you were okay with it beforehand, instead of just… yeah.” He looks down at his hands in his lap, brow furrowed.
Jongdae takes a deep breath and lets it out shakily. “It’s alright,” he says quietly. “I-- I didn’t mind.”
He turns away to hide how much his cheeks are burning, and misses how quickly Joonmyun raises his head to looks over at him.
“Really?” Joonmyun asks, sounding almost breathless. Jongdae manages to nod. “I thought that you…” He trails off, but Jongdae doesn’t turn his head.
It’s another few seconds before Joonmyun moves, stroking his fingers along Jongdae’s jaw and gently tilting his face back towards him. Jongdae sucks in a breath when their eyes meet, lips parting softly, and he watches Joonmyun’s gaze flicker down for a moment before locking with his again.
“I like you,” he says, quiet but sure. “Kind of a lot.”
Jongdae feels a little bit like he’s melting. His hands fly up to grasp the front of Joonmyun’s sweater and Joonmyun swipes his thumb over Jongdae’s cheek, smiling shyly at him.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks, almost timid, like he’s worried Jongdae will say no. Jongdae is pretty sure his heart is going to burst out of his chest.
He nods, tightening his grip just a little, and Joonmyun leans in to press a short, chaste kiss on his lips. He tries to pull away after but Jongdae follows, tugging on his sweater to bring him back so he can kiss him again, and again. When they finally do break apart, Joonmyun laughs breathlessly and Jongdae smiles, releasing Joonmyun’s sweater and trailing his hands down his chest instead.
“I-- me too,” he breathes. “Like you. A lot.”
Joonmyun beams at him. “It’d kind of suck if you didn’t,” he says. He trails his fingers across Jongdae’s jaw again.
“Only kind of?” Jongdae prompts, leaning into the touch.
“Well, after last night, I mean,” Joonmyun says, and Jongdae blushes at the memory. “I’d probably have to buy you dinner to apologize.”
Jongdae hums. “You could still buy me dinner,” he suggests, and Joonmyun laughs before ducking in to kiss him again.
They stay in the car for a bit longer before Jongdae remembers that he has a house with a bedroom and a bed, in fact, only a few metres away. Joonmyun takes his hand as they walk up the driveway to the door, and Jongdae does his best to put his key in the lock one-handed so he doesn’t have to let go.
It’s weird, having Joonmyun in his house, to see his sunbae kicking off his shoes by the door and hanging up his jacket next to Jongdae’s. He also follows Jongdae up the stairs and into his bedroom, but that’s a different sort of weird, the sort that makes Jongdae’s heart beat a little faster.
Jongdae closes the bedroom door behind them and turns around to look at Joonmyun, standing a bit awkwardly in the middle of the room and glancing around at the band posters on his walls.
“Hyung,” Jongdae calls, getting his attention again before crossing the room and stopping in front of him. Joonmyun brings his hands up to rest on Jongdae’s hips and leans in to kiss him softly. Jongdae smiles against his mouth as their lips slide together, curling his fingers in Joonmyun’s sweater again. The grip on his hips tightens, contrasting how gentle the kisses are. It makes Jongdae’s knees a bit weak.
“Was it me?” Joonmyun asks suddenly, murmuring the words against Jongdae’s lips. “The one you wouldn’t stop talking about?”
Jongdae makes a mental note to kill Chanyeol for letting that slip in the first place. When he doesn’t respond, Joonmyun tugs him forward a little, ducking down to nuzzle just under his ear. “Jongdae,” he breathes against his neck, and Jongdae shivers against him, lips parting.
“It was you,” he admits, breath hitching when Joonmyun trails his lips down the column of his throat. “I wanted you to, ah, to notice me.”
“I did notice you,” Joonmyun says, pulling back. “I caught you watching me so many times… so I started watching you.”
Jongdae blinks up at him, cheeks pink. “Hyung, that sounds like something from a bad romance novel.”
Joonmyun just laughs, kissing him again and pulling him backwards until they can both fall onto Jongdae’s bed. Jongdae scoots up to the headboard and lies down on his side, and Joonmyun follows suit, settling down next to him. The bed isn’t very wide so there’s not much space between them, and they let their legs tangle together at one end. They lie still for a few moments, just looking at each other, before Joonmyun smiles shyly and places his hand over Jongdae’s, resting on the bedspread in between them.
“What are you going to do now that I’ve really noticed you?” he asks, voice soft as he strokes his thumb over Jongdae’s knuckles.
“Not sure,” Jongdae says slowly. He hasn’t really had time to think that far ahead, considering that only yesterday the idea of lying on his bed with his sunbae seemed impossibly out of reach. He flexes his hand and links their fingers together. “How long can you stay here for?”
“There’s school tomorrow,” Joonmyun reminds him. “Choir practice, too.”
Jongdae frowns. “Not overnight, then?”
“We could sleep now, instead,” Joonmyun suggests, looking maybe just a bit over-excited at the idea. “Like, just take a nap, you know? I mean, it’s not like we didn’t sleep last night, but this is an actual bed.” Jongdae snickers at him, but shifts closer all the same and lets Joonmyun drape his arm around him.
“You’re gonna get too used to sharing a bed with me, hyung,” Jongdae yawns, suddenly feeling like having a nap isn’t such a bad idea.
“You’re right,” Joonmyun sighs, tapping Jongdae’s fingers with his own. “Pretty soon I won’t be able to sleep alone at all. I’ll have to come find you all the time.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” Jongdae says, squeezing his hand, and Joonmyun smiles, leaning in to press one more kiss on his lips.