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[moominmolly]

Parenting link of the day, mostly for my own reference: Ignore your child, but do it lovinglyIt has come to my attention that I mostly only talk about the good stuff. I admit it is a bit of a habit; I find fun more interesting to share than pain. But I don't mean to give an inaccurate picture of what all of this is like. For all that N is cute and

Comments

[vespid_interest]

I'm sure it wasn't a pleasant experience for N, but it is good for her to know that "if something bad happens, Mommy will be there for me."

[moominmolly]

I hope to teach her that.

[starphire]

Wow. Glad N's all right.
That link certainly brings back memories. See, that letter was published just around the time K's mom and I were starting to diverge on the way forward for a continuum-raised child, just as she was getting to an appropriate point in her development. For me, it was an affirmation of the changes I had been making already. I showed it to B and she said it didn't matter, it was too late for her to change anything about the way she was interacting with K, and that furthermore it was all my fault for making her too child-centric in the first place. She ignored the letter, and kept on as before. The two of them got into willful struggles more frequently, while K and I were getting along better than ever.
It was weird, as B complained frequently about how 'difficult' K was with her, but was completely closed to the idea that she could do anything differently to make it better. Very frustrating for me (and K). Of course we all survived. But I do feel overall it was more difficult than it needed to be.

[moominmolly]

Interesting - how old was K at the time?

[starphire]

About 2. Looking back, we had actually had different interpretations of what Jean Liedloff had said in her book from the beginning, but we each felt our own approach was working OK for us. I took what opportunities I could to go and do stuff, visit friends, etc. with a baby hanging off of me most of the time, basically going about my own life but prepared for frequent unplanned interruptions. And beginning sometime after age 1, I had begun to set some boundaries, when I felt K was testing me in a way that just didn't feel right

[chenoameg]

"So I explained what had happened to the nurse on call, and he recommended that I go to the ER right away."

Sadly that is what they say anytime the words "infant" and "head" occur in the same incident.

Regarding the link -- it seems to me that children need to learn how to entertain themselves, just like they need to learn how to soothe themselves into sleep. The caregiver paying attention to other things and people helps teach the child that.

[moominmolly]

hat is what they say anytime the words "infant" and "head" occur in the same incident.

He basically said as much, too -- he had in fact started with "I'm sure it's fine, but since she's so young..."

It's hard to not pay attention to her a lot of the time! I'm sure I'll get better at it.

[mrf_arch]

Yipes!

Gald things are turning out okay, though!

[veek]

Oh, honey! I hadn't realized it was that tempestuous.

.

[moominmolly]

You singlehandedly made my day marvelous today!

It was fine, just scary in the moment. The moment was scary, though, definitely.