It's been a while since I've had poetry

Aug 04, 2004 15:38

So I wrote this today, maybe about an hour ago. I like some of it a lot, but some of it is also kind of hmmm. I like the idea of it, and I think some of it carries it well, but it gets a little going around and around. The last two stanzas didn't really come out right.

August 4, 2004 )

writing or something similar

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Comments 2

ekpinc August 4 2004, 15:50:50 UTC
typo alert!

otherwise, much love for poem. except the last stanza. NO love for the last stanza. I say, get rid of it. CHOP IT OFF!!!!

sorry. I'm feeling bloody today.

oh, by the way, I really like th secondtolast stanza. Is my favorite bit, actually.

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moocow1985 August 4 2004, 20:37:17 UTC
Ahh! Ahhh! *runs from emma*

Really that bad, eh?

(Did this comment say something different originally?)

Will it end ok on the secondtolast stanza or do I need to add something else not quite as ax-worthy?

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