So I wrote this today, maybe about an hour ago. I like some of it a lot, but some of it is also kind of hmmm. I like the idea of it, and I think some of it carries it well, but it gets a little going around and around. The last two stanzas didn't really come out right.
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August 4, 2004 )
Comments 2
otherwise, much love for poem. except the last stanza. NO love for the last stanza. I say, get rid of it. CHOP IT OFF!!!!
sorry. I'm feeling bloody today.
oh, by the way, I really like th secondtolast stanza. Is my favorite bit, actually.
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Really that bad, eh?
(Did this comment say something different originally?)
Will it end ok on the secondtolast stanza or do I need to add something else not quite as ax-worthy?
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