fic - Seungho/Joon - Men are helpless too - oneshot
Title: men are helpless too
Rating: R
Genre: angst, romance.
Fandom: mblaq - seungho/joon
Warning: ….
Synopsis: different people are helpless in front of life. In a way or another….
He pulled his hoody back over his head and started walking once he saw the person exiting the shop. He dug his fist into his pockets and stepped slowly, lazily. He had nowhere to hurry up so he was calm, peacefully. He never looked back once he had seen the man taking the road toward his house; he knew the other was heading straight home.
He glared at the sky instead.
It looked beautiful, even grey, and heavy with rain.
He smiled a little as he pulled out his phone and quickly typed a message. When he pressed the sent button, small, light rain drops already where heading to the ground, easily washing it.
Indeed, it was a nice day, he thought as he moved again, getting lost on the city’s streets, and taking part of the crowd of people that were hurrying somewhere to avoid the rain. Only that he wasn’t hurrying.
He liked rain.
“Can’t you help it just once?” he stopped on his heels as he heard the angry voice behind him. He smiled a little without even realizing it.
A harsh touch made contact with his skin as nails dug deeply through the material of his anorak. He turned around, frowning.
“Why are you so angry, yelling at me?” his voice replied back, husky and a little cracking. He growled a little, adjusting his vocals. His eyes pierced deeply into the other’s and he took a step closer to him.
The man backed off, letting his arm free, breaking visual contact with him as he looked somewhere else. He sensed the increasing rhythm of the man’s breathing and he snorted slowly, ready to turn around and leave again.
Sometimes, Seungho was really thinking - he was sure of it anyway - that ByungHee was scared of him. But he couldn’t blame him.
“Too late for that, G.O… “ he whispered faintly as his phone vibrated into his jeans’ pocket. He took it out and read the message quickly, then turning it off without replying. He raised his eyes back to his roommate and smiled a little.
“See you later!”
And ByungHee widened his eyes, because it’s been long since he hadn’t had heard that from his mouth. Yet he nodded taking a deep breath stepping aside, letting Seungho pass. He watched him smile even wider as he left the room, but he couldn’t help but feel disappointed again.
That was never going to stop. And he wondered who will get more wounded between those two…
He didn’t even get to enter the building properly because he found himself being dragged into a tight hug, a few steps away from the front exit. He responded the hug with the same intensity, pulling the body close to him inhaling the so well known fragrance, wanting it to linger with him for the rest of his life.
He felt his heart beating faster again as he kept him into his arms.
Yet he felt a little sad for it. It was… disappointingly.
But he shooed the feeling away as soon as he saw his face again, as he saw him smile again, taking his hand with his tender, silky one. Seungho smiled also and let himself being dragged throughout the corridors and stairs, because they always avoided elevators.
They stumbled at the doorstep as they clung to each other. Seungho embraced him tightly, never wanting to let him go, digging his nails deep into the white skin. He pecked his neck as the latter slammed the door closed with his leg, passing his hand through his hair.
Seungho stared into the deep eyes as slim long fingers cupped his face. His breath tickled his bottom lip as he exhaled amazed by the man’s beauty. His breath was shaky, but it took too little for him to realize it because hot, plump lips pressed against his and he could do nothing but part them even more, giving access to the warm, wet muscle that invaded his mouth.
And he moaned into the kiss, feeling the other’s smirk against his lips. He didn’t mind the faint bite he got as they parted; he just let him undress him from the jacket, let his throw it on the floor; he let him trail his cold fingers over his arms.
Seungho totally allowed him again to kiss him and force him even more, pulling the shirt down over his head and uncovering his upper body. Seungho got his skin scratched in less than a minute, but that was fine because he allowed him to do so.
“You shouldn’t have called…” he murmured more for the walls, because he knew he wasn’t listened by the younger. He watched him sit up on his stand, the blanket covering his naked body falling down, revealing a very big amount of white skin.
“I needed you! It’s not like I’ll kill myself denying what I need…” he saw a playful look into the other’s eyes and he could do nothing but sigh. The smirk on the younger’s lips soon turned into a idiotic smile, dumb smile he could actually add.
Joon was dumb, an idiot who didn’t even know what he needed, a stupid kid that always returned to him despite their efforts to stay away one from the other. Joon was the idiot who got him around his pinky finger, because hell, Seungho would do anything for him.
He saw him lean over, closer to where he was standing, his body weight on his left arm. Those eyes shined, and Seungho couldn’t miss the way his smile was radiating, white, and childish but so nice teeth showing.
Suddenly the beauty of the other’s smile had overwhelmed him… again.
“Will you kiss me now?!” the smile had gotten even wider and he asked himself if his cheeks ever hurt. He rolled his eyes snorting… while he stood up he had seen Joon’s pout and disappointed eyes.
“Just come bathe, and we’ll see… “He murmured again for himself but this time he knew Joon had heard him. He didn’t wait for him, but as he walked toward the bathroom he clearly heard the other’s cheerful steps behind his back.
“Seungho…”
“No!” he almost shouted, tired of trying to make his point clear into the other’s head. It was the third time he was telling him since he called.
“Please!~” the wail had been pretty heartbroken and he fisted his hands at the sound. It hurt him too, not only him.
“No, Joon! Not this time again…”
“You’re so cruel, you know?” but he never got to reply to that line because his phone call had ended before he could say another word. He expressed his regret biting his bottom lip and lowering the phone, looking at the sky.
He took a deep breath inside as he looked to his left, the street ahead. When he searched with his eyes around he felt the need to scream after the one he desired so much. He wanted to scream his name, to stop him from walking farther, from putting the earphones into his ears and turning the music probably loud enough for not being able to hear his own thoughts.
Seungho knew Joon pretty much to know his habits as well.
He pulled his hoody back over his head, over his short hair and started walking slowly. He felt sad as he walked and kept his eyes on the other. He felt rage inside his chest. He felt the need to beat someone, to destroy something, because hell, he wanted and needed so much to be near the other, beside him, holding his hand.
Yet he couldn’t. He couldn’t even say goodbye properly, both on the phone and face to face. He hated it.
He felt his phone vibrating again and his heart jumped a little, but only in disappointment when he read the caller ID.
Just come back home… quickly. She’s planning a visit; I don’t want to deal with her alone… G.O
He almost dropped the glass when he saw the view in front of his eyes. He totally forgot about the others around him and about the event itself. He totally forgot and ignored G.O even if the other was right beside him talking.
All he could notice was him in front of his eyes. Next to them.
Next to her.
His blood simply started to boil inside his body.
“Is that…” but G.O never managed to end the sentence because Seungho burst out in anger, leaving him behind, passing by people with ease, ignoring everyone.
When he glared at the boy, Byunghee met the other sad and disappointed look, he saw him looking after his friend. G.O also saw the way Joon’s hand trembled on that damned glass, and he wondered if he should interfere and get him out of there.
He didn’t do it.
Instead, he took the way after his friend, heading toward the front exit. He found Seungho with his brother, sitting face to face, seungho barely listening to his brother, his eyes down into the ground, almost teary.
He took small steps toward them, and when he considered himself close enough he whispered to his brother to look up for Joon. Seungho shivered at the name of his boyfriend.
“What the hell is he doing here? Is he stupid?” the older wailed immediately as his brother left, biting his bottom lip with nervousness. GO snorted…
“You think he had a choice?”
But Seungho knew better. Of course he had no choice. But he also knew Joon and he knew that he could fight against it. He knew he could refuse it. Yet, he was there, looking at him with those eyes.
How should Seungho feel about it, when he couldn’t forget that look even for a second?
He dropped the glass for real. He didn’t care about the champagne or about his shoes, he didn’t care about the sound he created as the glass shattered into piece or about people reaction.
Seungho didn’t care the thinnest bit.
Yet he cared about the boy on the stage, he cared about his brother. He couldn’t express how angry and shocked and infuriating he felt that moment his eyes laid upon him, on his body.
Seungho clutched his teeth angrily as the beat kept ringing into his eardrums and he didn’t know why he was more upset; because of his boyfriend dancing right there, for everyone, that song and dance or because his brother was also on stage beside him, moving their hips like that.
Suddenly, Seungho hated the song and found it amusing no more. That song was supposed to be only for them.
He found himself yelling at G.O to let him alone, and he grabbed Joon’s arm not caring about the performance any more. He didn’t look at him, he didn’t talk to him, he didn’t touch him more than necessary.
He smashed his brother head’s as he left the stage and he didn’t apologize in front of those people. He totally ignored her and her friends; he didn’t even look at her because he’d have been disgusted. He didn’t listen to Byunghee.
He just left, tightly gripping his fingers around the other’s wrist.
“Do you realize how stupid you’ve been?” the words hardly left his throat, still clenched and tense from fury. He still didn’t glare at the boy next to him, his hands gripping the wheel until his joints became white.
He felt him snort however and look outside the window, somewhere at the sky. They both sighed.
“I had my opportunity to reject the invitation… but I didn’t want!”
“Why?” he snapped at the poor boy startling him a little.
“Because that would have meant her to win again, and I won’t let her, Seungho! Not again… “the voice turned from bored to serious and loud. He was determinate to follow his life as he wanted, Seungho could bet that on his life, but it wasn’t so easy. Joon knew it, they both knew.
“What am I for you Seungho?! What do you see in me?” the question came like bullets to his ear and for a moment he forgot driving, looking at him straight into his eyes.
He saw watery eyes, trembling with emotions, parted lips afraid like to talk again. He saw a boy that for a moment was shaking in fear for the following answer. Joon was not as strong and iron-made as he once thought about him.
He felt the need to fondle his cheek and strike his nape, pulling him closer. He felt the need to kiss him and promise something he wasn’t so sure about. Instead, he just gulped, concentrating to the road.
They had to arrive safe at home.
He panted heavily as he pulled the other closer, sinking silkily into him, feeling his burning and sticky skin next to his. He listened to the silent inhales and exhales of the other and he smiled for a second, the sound of fast beating heart, drumming into his ears and chest.
Seungho felt happy, really happy.
He embraced the writhing boy underneath him and planted sweet and gentle kisses on his neck. This time Seungho hadn’t bit anymore. But he couldn’t help but scratch his teeth over the milky skin when he heard his soft moans and maybe even little, soft cries.
His lips became dry and the feel of nails sinking into his back, made him wake up, lick his lips and stole a quick glare at his lover. He smiled.
Joon shone. Joon was bright and smiling, happy he could add; he was in pure bliss. And Seungho couldn’t help but fall a little more in love.
He fell so hard that it was painfully.
The feeling of the other’s lips brushing against his made him shiver. His body simply convulsed. He saw him smile against his lips and let the younger nibbled at them, let him tease and play with his lips. He also let Joon capture his mouth completely afterwards and allowed him to pass deeper, he let him suck at his tongue, and he honestly didn’t fight over dominance once that warm muscles pushed back inside.
“Why don’t you get it?” Joon purred into his ear, tickling him as hell, but it didn’t sound like a question at all. He opened his eyes, turning his sleeping head toward him. His arm stretched and passed over his waist, taking him closer to his body.
Joon bit his lip as he turned on his tummy, resting on top of seungho’s chest, playing his fingers on the elder’s neck.
“Why don’t you let me love you like this all the time, every single day?” this time joon stared into his eyes, pinching his cheeks softly.
“I just want to protect you…” but he was cut off easily, his lips no longer free to move, occupied with kissing a certain person.
Seungho let it last as long as it could. He didn’t break the kiss not even to breath, continuing to keep their lips together until forever. For seungho something else already didn’t matter anymore, but the kiss and the person into his arms.
He glared disappointed at him when he felt those light hands pressing against his chest and his breath getting away from his lips.
“Do you think I can’t fight against her? I want us together Seungho… for real, for forever and every day, not only when I feel like I can’t live anymore…” mild eyes glared back at him and he felt a deep hole starting to form into his stomach. His throat was dry.
Since when did he start to hurt the other like that?
“You’ll only hurt yourself, it’s not like you know her and her ways to - “
“I can destroy her if I want! But I’m not doing it because it must be hard for you… Just… do you also want us together Seungho? Do you want to fight for us?” he was questioned as his face was being held tightly into those damned soft hands.
He closed his eyes.
He answered those questions with only a kiss. It was enough.
“Let me only love you!”
We can be perfect together! We will be!
He read the line once again before placing the note into his bag, taking it over his shoulder, his jacket into his hand.
He smiled a little as he raised the other one and as he smelled the flowers once again. He smiled because he was happy. Truly happy… it was the first time receiving flowers from someone, and the thought of who might have sent those to him made him giggled.
He entered the airport building with a wide grin on his face, with the bouquet still into his hand. He stopped exactly at the entrance and searched with his eyes around.
Seeing Seungho coming toward him made him even happier.
Yes, he was indeed happy.
No more hiding, no more fights, no more lost nights while crying, no more stalks at night and even during day. No more fear of getting caught together, or getting her angry.
They will be perfect… together.
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