Others? Oh, right - them.

[metal_equine]

Hi, there. *waves* Have lurked a while. First time poster.

I'm mono and have been in relationship with poly boyfriend for more than a year. I've also met and befriended one of his other girls - B. Then there's two-three others, whom I don't have any "tabs" on.

I've realised that, aside from B, I've never really thought a lot about the other women.

Comments

[stefsoap]

It's easy to forget about other partners when you don't interact with them, whether you're a mono partner or not. I always need to meet my partners' other partners and hear about them because that process helps me work through my insecure jealousy issues. I had one boyfriend who had all long distance partners, except for me and his wife, and it was easy to get all "out of sight, out of mind" about his other partners. He'd tell me about them as information emerged that he wanted to share or that I was interested in hearing. It worked very successfully for us.

My thought would be that if you're having feelings about his other partners, it might be time to ease into hearing about/meeting his other partners...very slowly, as you feel ready and able to handle it.

[metal_equine]

He'd tell me about them as information emerged that he wanted to share or that I was interested in hearing. It worked very successfully for us.

That's how we're dealing with it currently, only we could probably be a little bit better at keeping tabs on what's going on with who's in and who's not and all that. B is, as said, the only one I have contact with - good contact at that.

I'm not sure I have any feelings bad or good about those I haven't met, really, but perhaps it would be good to meet up in casual settings. If there are any bad feeling right now, it'd be guilt about hogging him this month.

[stefsoap]

I'm sure you know this, but hey, that never stopped me from stating the obvious! It'll all balance out...everything in the Universe seeks balance. This month, he may be giving you the lion's share of time and another month, it may be someone else.

I hope...integration?...assimilation? (sorry, had a Borg moment) goes well. I'd like to hear about it.

[metal_equine]

Resistance is futile? ;) Star Trek rocks, btw.

There has been talk about meeting another of the girls, so yeah... Hopefully we'll get along. :)

[metal_equine]

I try to remind myself that no, she isn't just with me, I'm not that lucky.

That's a little bit different from how I view the situation we're in. I don't refer to it as me being "not that lucky". Then again, I don't live under the same roof with him, nor does the others, although B has only five minute walking-distance to his home. I am reminded of the others from time to time, through what he tells me and occasionally by comments on facebook and that one of them sometimes peeks at my journal at another community.

At times like these, when I'm suddenly reminded, I can feel guilt over "hogging him" ( as it turns out this month) and leaving very little time that he could spend with the others ( those who are not B and myself).

[rythmicjea]

I try to remind myself that no, she isn't just with me, I'm not that lucky.

How do you cope? I'm in a similar situation. Are you a mono?