Doctor Who 6.3: The Curse of the Black Spot - a Review
Reading the latest issue of DWM, writer Steve Thompson explains why he chose Captain Henry Avery for his pirate story:
I chose Avery for two reasons: 1) because famously he pulled off the biggest pirating crime in history. He stole the treasure of the Mughal of India. And 2) because he vanished. He went off with the treasure, and was neither seen nor heard from again.
I think Thompson's second point indicates his true motivation. No-one knows what happened to Avery so let's do a story about him. The problem is, apart from the odd cursory bit of research - he had a naval career, he stole some loot - Avery is basically a cardboard cut out, the Pirate with a Heart of Gold who went bad for a time but whose honourable side comes to the fore throughout the course of the episode. It's a terrible cliché, and not the first that appears in The Curse of the Black Spot.
About midway through the episode when Avery is asked by his son Toby why he decides to become a Pirate, rather than provide an answer he says nothing. I'm sure we're meant to read something into that stare, but Hugh Bonneville - who does what he can with the paper thin character he's given - just looks like a guy whose forgotten his next line. The question is never answered, except for some garbled line from the Doctor about how Avery is in it for the greed.
Here's the thing though. History actually provides an answer to the "why I became a pirate" question which, with a little bit of tinkering and and poetic licence, could have slotted neatly into the Heart of Gold character Thompson was aiming for. While Wikipedia makes it clear that Avery's history is unclear, filled with rumour and innuendo, one of the things we do know is as first mate of the Charles II he led a successful mutiny against the Captain. The mutiny came about because the privately owned ship - which was part of the Spanish Expedition of 1694 - was delayed at port by Government bureaucracy which meant the crew weren't paid for eight months. And when the crew were denied their request to be released from the ship, the decision was made to mutiny. The mutiny was not only bloodless, Avery was able to convince most of the crew to stay onboard and sail to the Indian Ocean where they would each get a fair share of any treasure they plundered.
Of course, that little slice of history forgets the fact that (a) Avery was an illegal slave trader in the early 1690s and (b) the pirates themselves reportedly tortured and brutalised the "poor Indian women" whose jewels they stole.
But my belaboured point is that there was no reason why Avery couldn't have provided an answer to the question. Oh, I know he's meant to be ashamed in that scene, but his son deserves an answer and he could have told him how he led a bloodless mutiny after the men hadn't been paid for nearly a year. And he could have said that yes... things had gotten out of control... but he was always doing it for Toby and his mother. It's still a terrible cliché, but at least it has history to back it up and shows that the writer actually cared about the character he was writing for.
But maybe I'm expecting too much from Doctor Who. Maybe.
What I do expect though is for the plot to make sense. The first twenty or so minutes of the episodes are actually quite good. There's a nice bit of sword fighting from Amy - though where she picked those skills up is anyone's guess - and I liked the idea that the crew were shit scared of being cut due to the curse. What I also enjoyed was how the Doctor theories were proven wrong by evidence, and how he used that evidence to change his theories. While simplistic, it was a nice use of the scientific method.
But then, when Rory falls overboard, the episode undermines all that by having the Doctor suddenly decide that the monstrous mermaid whose been killing the crew isn't all that bad after all. No evidence is presented and no explanation is given. The Doctor comes to this insight based on plot convenience alone. I detest that sort of lazy story-telling.
I didn't mind the explanation of what the mermaid was. But the execution was terrible. Not only are we given a rubbish space ship - I know the show has had its budget cut but seriously the interior of the ship from Stones of Blood (what, you mean the idea of two things parked on each other isn't original!) looked better - but the fact that the mermaid is a holographic medic gave me terrible flashbacks to Star Trek Voyager. Episodes that do that immediately make me angry.
Were also given no explanation as to why a bunch of pirates, who for the most part have only cut their fingers, are tied to their beds as if they're on death's door. Or why the Doctor, Avery and Amy appear where they appear and are not strapped to a bed like everyone else? Or why the holographic medic isn't able to save a kid whose got typhoid, or more importantly why it couldn't save the original crew? Oh, and by the by, how is the Doctor able to throw a piece of metal from the space ship onto the pirate ship? What reflection did he use? And if it was that easy, why didn't our friend the medic use that portal?
And then, if we haven't been insulted enough by a plot that's gone completely off the rails, we're given a clichéd and cringe worthy CPR scene (for fucks sake... why bother to pretend that Rory is dead!) and on top of that, a guy from 1694 knows how to fly a low budget space-craft. Also, his motley crew decide to stay behind and no reason is given.
I mean, please.
By the way, did anyone else notice how one of the pirates simply vanished. Remember one runs off to threaten the Doctor while the other who Toby nicks with the blade stays behind... and yet we never see him again. I'm assuming the medic from Voyager zapped him back to the ship, but when did that happen?
It doesn't help that Matt Smith is mostly terrible in this story, possibly over compensating for a terrible script. Also Rory's drunk acting is not very good at all. Karen Gillian is the best thing in it, but she nearly comes a cropper having to do the shitty CPR scene.
The episode looks nice - at least the pirate ship bits - and the direction isn't too awful. But the wayward pacing - both frenetic and plodding - and the terrible, clichéd and altogether insulting narrative means that this episode fails the grade. Maybe not as bad Victory of the Daleks or the Silurian two-parter, but by fuck it's close.
4/10