Case of You, 4/7
Title: Case of You, Chapter 4
Author: Dani
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: Hard R
Disclaimer: A work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Notes: see chapter one, two, three
May 2000
It’s mid-town at midday and Billy’s spent two hours browsing the aisles of the bookstore, carefully avoiding the salesclerks who try to approach. Things have been progressing with Dominic, but Billy still feels lost sometimes. Nervous. So he's found himself here, with the vague idea of finding something to ease his concerns and fears, even knowing it’s a fool’s errand.
Standing at the magazine rack, he looks around at the few customers, feeling as though everyone is looking at him, waiting to see what he's going to do. He shakes his head, smiling a little at himself and, summoning his courage, walks over to the section marked Sexuality. Once there, he looks over his shoulder. Seeing no one near him in the cramped aisle, he takes a book from the shelf, quickly flipping through the pages and just as quickly replacing it. He does the same with a few more titles, hoping for something like a training manual. Something that would give a good how-to, although he thinks he already understands the basics.
Hearing a voice draw near, Billy replaces the book in his hand and turns, trying to look interested in a self-help book on actualizing your dreams as two women inch their way towards him. He scrunches up against the shelf to allow them passage, frowning fiercely when they stop on the other side. He feels compelled to redouble his efforts to be involved in the book in his hands, realizing too late that it's turned upside down. Mentally rolling his eyes, he snaps the book shut. It's nothing to be ashamed of, he admonishes himself. Dominic would simply look for what he wanted and buy it. Of course, Dominic doesn't need a book on homosexuality.
Billy sighs and looks back over his shoulder. The women have moved out of sight, giving Billy the chance to hurriedly peruse the titles again. He picks up one book that looks promising and holds it tightly against his chest before he grabs another, putting it in front of the first. Satisfied--reasonably satisfied--he makes his way to the register, but another couple reaches it before he does, forcing him to turn off to look at a stand of bookmarks.
Billy hasn't considered this part. Paying means showing, which is near enough to telling. He wonders if the guy running the register would just let him call out the prices. Then he wonders if he has enough cash to pay for them. Fishing out his wallet to check, he hears the cashier speaking to him and panics, again clutching the books tightly to his chest. He steps to the side, out of the line he hadn't realized formed behind him, stammering out, "No. I ... ehm ... still looking, thanks."
It's time, he decides, to admit this is a silly idea in the first place. What is there to learn from a book? He knows what goes where; just because it's another man doesn't make it much different from his other relationships. Okay, physically different, but then he hadn't needed a book to figure things out with a woman. Sighing again, Billy looks down at the books in his hands. Here he is, thirty-one years old, and everything feels like the first time. His first kiss. His first date. His first ... everything. He hates feeling like Dominic has to show him the way--hold his hand the whole time as he blushes and stutters like a girl. He heads back to the section from where he's just come: Sexuality.
It's not been all bad, of course. There's the time they actually held hands in public. Well, almost public. Billy smiles as he remembers how they had sat in the back of a practically empty theatre, and how Dominic had whispered about making out like teenagers. But as usual, Billy was too nervous to do anything, though the idea certainly had had its appeal. So, they had sat there, their legs touching, until Dominic had reached over and taken his hand, their fingers interlacing.
Billy puts the books back on the shelf and stands for a moment, perplexed. He wants to do more. Wants to take their relationship further, and knows that Dominic does, too. Dominic is careful, of course, to let Billy set the pace, but Billy's tired of feeling like the blushing virgin, jumping every time he and Dominic touch while kissing. At his age, he's played the seducer enough to know what to do.
Leaning his back against the shelf behind him, Billy acknowledges that his real fear is what comes next in the relationship--not sexually, but emotionally. He feels that he's in love, though he hasn't said it, at least not in the straight-faced words I love you, Dominic--his version goes more along the lines of you’re such an idiot. He does love Dom, though. He's never felt anything like this before. Still, his thoughts always turn towards his family and friends back in Glasgow. How would they react if they knew? And what about his career? Both of their careers.
Billy searches the titles again, hoping to find one titled So, You're in Love with Your Best Mate and Scared That Your World Is Going to Come Crashing Down at Any Moment, and Oh, You Desperately Want to Have Sex with Him But Are Afraid He'll Laugh. Irritated with himself, Billy finally gives up and turns to leave, but before he can get more than a meter from where he stands, his mobile chirrups. Digging inside his coat pocket, he brings it out and looks at the screen. Dominic. Billy smiles as he answers, his mood cheering considerably. "Allo?"
"Hiya, sexy."
Billy's grin broadens, even as his cheeks redden. He glances around again, just in case. "Hello."
"Where are you?"
"Bookshop downtown on Main."
"Come meet me at Eva's for lunch? Well, Elijah and me."
"I'd love to. Where are you now?"
"Almost there. Driving up Courtenay Place. We could pick you up."
"No, I'll walk. It's not that far."
"I tried to call you earlier and had to settle for hanging out with the wonder boy this morning."
"Poor lad." Billy laughs when he hears Elijah protest. "I'm sure he appreciates that, by the way."
"So, what are you doing in a bookstore on our one day off, and not spending it with me?"
"I ... um ..." Unable to think of a quick excuse to be in a bookstore on a Saturday morning, especially with a stack of unread books in his house, Billy's grateful when he hears Dominic's laughter.
"I know, Bills. I know. Buying books. We'll be at the restaurant in about five minutes. Are you sure you don't want us to pick you up?"
"No, I'll walk." Billy wonders when, exactly, he had begun holding his breath. "Very near there. Shouldn't be but a couple of minutes behind you."
"See you soon, then."
Billy flips his phone shut. Buying books, he thinks. I'm such an idiot. He wonders again why he should be so nervous about it. It's not like it's a porn shop, though a place like that might have done more good. And Dominic probably would have been more excited. Would want to have read the books together while having a cuddle. In fact, Billy suddenly has a very clear mental picture of him and Dominic curled up in bed, reading something like The Joys of Gay Sex. He laughs at the thought, happy at the return of perspective, and heads towards the front of the shop again. Seeing a display near the door, he stops again.
***
"I'm totally supportive, by the way." Elijah sits looking over the menu, studiously not looking at Dominic in an attempt to seem nonchalant.
Dominic looks up, confused, wondering in what way Elijah is supportive of the Manchester music scene, the subject of their conversation of just a moment ago. "I'm sorry?"
"You and Billy," Elijah says, still pretending to be deciding between the quiche and a turkey sandwich.
Setting his menu down, Dominic picks up a fork instead, inspecting it carefully. "Yeah. What about us?" He raises his eyes in time to see a flash of hurt across Elijah's face. The guilt he's carried in not confiding in Elijah makes itself felt again, but he reasons that Billy's privacy is more important. Having Sean know everything is bad enough. "What makes you think that there's anything going on?"
Elijah gives an exaggerated sigh, rolling his eyes as Dominic laughs at him. "C'mon. You two totally give off couple vibes." Interrupted by the waiter who takes their drink orders, Elijah waits until they're alone. "See. That. Right there. Ordering drinks for each other. Couple vibes."
Dominic sets down the fork, and straightens up, holding back his laughter under an air of British reserve. "Couple vibes?" he asks, as if he's never heard anything more ridiculous. In truth, he's quite happy that someone else sees it. He hides it well, though, or attempts to, picking up his menu again even though he's already decided. "Have you been reading Liv's Cosmo again, mate?"
"No! Couple vibes," Elijah says again, as if it should be perfectly obvious to anyone with half a brain. "You stand close together. Ask each other's opinions about everything. Finish each other's sentences ..."
"You and Orlando do that."
"That's different! Anyway, here comes Billy," Elijah says, spotting Billy and waving him over. "Maybe I'll just ask him."
Practically spinning in his seat, Dominic sees Billy walking toward them and turns back. He reaches over and tugs on Elijah's sleeve. "Don't say anything to him, Elijah. Please. He won't like it."
"I won't. I was just teasing." Elijah pats Dominic's hand, hoping he hadn't treaded on any boundaries, but still wishing either Dominic or Billy had told him. Still, he pushes the hurt from his mind, watching as Dominic budges up across the bench to let Billy sit next to him at the small booth. "Hey, Billy."
"Hi, Little Bit. Dom." Sliding into the booth next to Dominic and setting his package on the seat between them, Billy grins at the expression on Elijah's face upon hearing Orlando's pet name for him. "Sorry I'm late. Took me a little longer than I thought."
"S'alright. We just ordered drinks."
"Dom ordered yours, Billy."
Dominic raises his eyebrow in warning at Elijah, who picks up his menu in an attempt to hide his laughter. Billy watches the exchange, curious. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Dominic mutters, glaring at the back of Elijah's menu. They're silent for a moment before Dominic indicates down to Billy's bag. "Did you bring me a gift?"
"I did, actually." Billy picks up the bag and hands it over, eager to see Dominic's reaction.
"I was only kidding! Is it really for me?" Looking up to find excited expectation on Billy's face, Dominic smiles, warmed by the idea that Billy had been thinking of him. "What is it?"
"Open it."
Dominic reaches inside the bag and pulls out a beautifully bound leather book. Billy takes it from him and opens it to the middle, showing him the pages. "It's a journal. I noticed you were getting to the end of yours. Look, the paper's handmade."
"Thank you. It's beautiful." Dominic accepts the journal back, closing it and running his hand over the soft cover. They look at each other for a long moment, forgetting that they aren't alone.
"Couple vibes." Elijah sounds as if he's made the final decision of a very long argument, and looks as smug as a teacher's pet.
"What do you mean?" Billy asks.
"Nothing, Bill. He's just--"
"--I was just wondering--"
"--Liv's magazine. He was just telling me." Dominic cuts Elijah off quickly, worried about just what he would say next. He's been looking forward to spending the rest of the day with Billy and doesn't want him to turn introspective and quiet, as he often does when something about their relationship bothers him. Throwing another warning look towards Elijah before he returns his attention back to the journal, Dominic strokes his hand down its spine and opens it again. "This is really gorgeous, Billy. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome," Billy says, not quite so easily dissuaded. "What were you talking about, Elijah?"
"Nothing. Really." Elijah, repentant once again, sets his menu down and manages to look contrite. "Just teasing. Joking."
Billy notes the look on Dominic's flushed face--the way the tip of his ears turn red when he's angry--as he sits pretending to be absorbed in looking at the book in his hands. Thinking he's figured out what the joke is, Billy sits back, a little dazed but strangely pleased with how Dominic's reacted. Maybe Dominic does try to protect him overmuch, but he knows it's out of love, and that thought does a lot to ease the discomfort of Elijah's teasing.
The waiter returns with their drinks in hand then takes their orders, leaving them once again to sit in silence. Dominic still sits playing with the journal, afraid to look back at either of them. He wants to strangle Elijah for saying anything but also wants to be able to talk about their relationship openly, especially with friends. Now, he's at a loss as to what to say to either of them.
Billy finally breaks the silence, an amused smile on his lips at the sight of Dominic being the uncomfortable one for a change. "So, he's figured it out, then."
Dominic nods but doesn't look up. Carefully, he replaces the journal back in its bag then folds his hands on the table in front of him, becoming very interested in his thumbnails.
"I'm sorry, Billy. Dom didn't tell me; I just figured it out on my own." Elijah begins in a bluster but spins down quickly, lowering his eyes as he bites on a ragged cuticle. "I shouldn't have joked about it though."
Billy winks, smiling at him in reassurance. "Oh. Well. I guess there's no point in hiding it, is there Dom?" Billy takes Dominic's hand from the table and squeezes it before lowering their clasped hands to his lap. "It's just Elijah, and he apparently knows all about it anyway."
"I knew it! I think it's great! Really! I'm so happy for you."
Dominic smiles broadly though he keeps his eyes on the table, afraid now that if he looks up they would see his silly grin and tease him about it. He can't believe that Billy's actually said it out loud. To somebody else. In public. With his free hand, he begins to play with the silverware again, trying to compose himself while gripping Billy's hand tightly.
"So, who else are you going to tell?"
Dominic looks to Billy now, wanting to shout everybody but he knows already that Billy wouldn't agree to that. Instead, he nods his head briefly at Billy and says, keeping his voice steady, "Well, Sean already knows. And Orlando."
"Orlando?" Billy asks.
"He already knows. He was there, Billy. That day, remember?"
Billy does remember and nods. "Orlando, then."
"And Ian, probably, too."
"Well, then. Just people who know already." Elijah says, mirth in his voice. When they glance up, Elijah laughs at the twin looks he receives. "Don't worry. We've kept your secret better than you two have. Need to piss. Be right back."
Dominic watches Elijah walk away before turning back toward Billy, still gripping his hand. "So, you're alright with it."
"Yeah."
Dominic shakes his head. "No, say it."
"Say what?" Billy's face is serious, but a smile threatens.
"Billy!"
Laughing, Billy glances around quickly to make sure no one is watching and then leans in to give Dominic a peck on the cheek. "Together, Dom. We're together."
::
Later that night as they sit together on the couch, their legs entwined, Dominic leans his shoulder heavily against Billy's chest. Billy had long ago lost interest in the movie, choosing instead to watch Dominic's fingers as they traced patterns on the inside of Billy's knee. Dominic has wonderful hands, large and square palmed, with long fingers. Tanned skin against the paleness of Billy's when they twist their fingers together. He loves Dominic's hands. Loves how they grip a bottle, how they're so often spattered with ink. How they touch him gently, softly, and yet so possessively at the same time.
Billy turns his head a bit and watches Dominic, who is still paying attention to the movie, his fingers still moving in slow arcs against the denim of Billy's jeans. Licking his lips, Billy thinks of those fingers touching him in other places and grows aroused. He shifts a bit until Dominic's hand clutches at his knee. It only makes things worse.
Dominic feels the soft kiss behind his ear, then hot breath a moment before Billy's lips descend again. And then there is the touch of Billy's tongue, followed by a gentle bite on his ear lobe. Dominic smiles, surprised, and turns slightly; just enough to let Billy know that he's not so interested in the movie any longer. Billy smiles back, placing a hand against Dominic's cheek and turning his head, kissing him lightly. Sucking gently on his lower lip. Turning his whole body then, Dominic wraps his arms around Billy, returning the kiss and pressing Billy's head back against the couch. Their lips parting, his smile widens. "Hi."
"Hello."
They kiss again, long and slow, taking their time, shifting and turning on the couch. Dominic tilts his head, plunging his tongue deep into Billy's mouth, searching and finding the heat and warmth and silkiness. He loses himself in the kiss, his mind buzzing.
Lying lengthwise on the sofa now, their legs still tangled together, Billy's hips fit snugly against Dominic's. He's only just congratulating himself on remembering how to seduce, whether bird or bloke, when Dominic slides his leg between Billy's, pressing, his hand snaking across and down the front of Billy's shirt. Slipping his thumb beneath the thin material, his fingers sneak up to caress the soft skin of Billy's stomach, tracing a finger to his navel and dipping inside.
Dominic angles his head, kissing Billy's jaw before he slides his mouth down Billy's neck, sucking. Nipping. Biting. Trying to elicit that little gasp that Billy sometimes gives if he ... yeah, there it is. Dominic smiles against the wet flesh of Billy's neck, loving that he can make that sound come from Billy.
Billy feels Dominic smile--even with his eyes closed and his hands kneading Dominic's back, encouraging him. Feels him smile. Feels his happiness. "What?"
"I love that."
"Love what?"
"That noise you make when I ..." He tries again but fails to get Billy to duplicate it. "Haven't quite figured it out. Yet."
"Yet?" Billy's going for amused, but is distracted by Dominic's lips moving against his again, the kiss now needy and bit more demanding. He moves his hands to cup the sides of Dominic's head, holding him steady, giving and taking. Unable to control himself, Billy thrusts against Dominic's thigh, moaning low in his throat, aching with want.
Dominic groans into Billy's mouth, moving his body over Billy's, running his hand down Billy's denim-clad hip, letting it wander between their shifting hips and legs. Feeling heat and hardness, he moves his hand up and applies more pressure.
Billy’s senses return to him with a jolt as he realizes what he had been doing and where Dominic's hand is. He jumps in response even as Dominic continues the kiss--continues stroking him. Even as a shock runs through his body making him want to cry out, Billy grabs Dominic's wrist, lifting his hand from where it moves in long, slow caresses.
Dominic doesn't want to stop touching Billy, but doesn't want to push things. He lets Billy move his hand and lets his mind fall back into the kiss. His body rests heavily on Billy, their kisses growing languorous. Thinking that perhaps another tactic will work better, he presses down, rubbing their denim covered erections together so that Billy can feel how much he's wanted. Needed.
With his eyes closed, Billy is all sensation. All heat and friction. He feels surrounded by Dominic. Encompassed by him, and Billy's will to hold back is evaporating. He willingly gives himself over this time, breathing out the name he clings to--slurs it out, elongating it. Dominic moves his mouth over Billy's face, lightly kissing, trying to hold on, to not push. Whatever slim thread of control he has slips away, though, when he hears Billy call out his name in a voice choked by arousal. He presses his mouth close to Billy's ear, whispering his name back, then descends on his throat, kissing his jaw, neck and shoulders. His fingers move down to work open the buttons of Billy's shirt, greedy in their need to touch skin. He kisses down Billy's chest, popping buttons until the shirt hangs completely open and he's staring at the trail of hair that disappears into Billy's jeans.
Billy is almost thankful for the brief respite in the kisses, as he gets the chance to breathe and clear his mind. To will away his erection. He closes his eyes, breathing deeply, trying not to think about what Dominic is doing--or realize that he's lost all control of the situation. But when the pressure between his legs suddenly returns, he finds himself only getting harder. "Dom?"
His face nestled against the warmth radiating from Billy's crotch, Dominic touches his lips to the denim covered bulge. A shiver runs through his body, just knowing what lies beneath the clothing--just knowing that Billy is so aroused. Pressing his mouth a little closer, he murmurs Billy's name again, now against the fabric of his jeans.
Billy inhales sharply, fighting the urge to thrust up against Dominic's mouth as the vibration of Dominic's voice travels through his body. He reaches down to grasp Dominic's shoulders, digging his fingers into the flesh. "Oh, God," he whispers, his voice strained.
Dominic raises his eyes so that he can see Billy without losing too much contact. He smiles when he sees Billy's lips parted, his eyes half-closed, looking back at him through heavy lashes, looking needy and reckless, and appearing very much over his earlier reticence. "Can I touch you?"
Past being able to remember any possible reason for why he hadn't wanted Dominic to touch him earlier--any reason why this might be a bad idea--Billy breathes out a choked moan in response, pulling on Dominic's shirt. "Please. Yeah. Please don’t stop touching me."
"Well, I mean ..." And Dominic wonders if he should say it, or just do it.
"Hmm?"
Dominic's fingers quickly work on the fastening of Billy's jeans, before he finally slides his hand in, immediately feeling the heated flesh. "Jesus, I thought you might have been ... but ... God ..."
Billy's laugh is nervous. "I ... I didn't plan it this way. I swear."
Wrapping his fingers around Billy's erection, Dominic gently pulls it from the confines of the jeans. Like unwrapping a present, he thinks vaguely, too far gone to think of being thought twee as he stares at what he's only seen in his fantasies, more than aware that those fantasies are nothing like the real thing. Billy is thick and hard in his hand, and when Dominic moves his hand up and down Billy's length, the body beneath him writhes, very warm and very real. His fantasies are pushed aside as he purposefully licks his lips.
Billy closes his eyes, letting himself fall into the rhythm of each stroke. It feels very familiar and yet so different. Dominic's stroke is confident, experienced, and not hesitant as many of the women with whom Billy has been. Different, and yet familiar because since their first kiss so many month ago, Billy has imagined his own hand was Dominic's. He's been wondering what it would be like, to be touched like this. To touch Dominic like this. "D'you want me to ... holy mother of--" Billy bites his tongue, unable to put words to the incredible sensation: wetness, warmth, lips. Dominic's mouth.
He'd meant to ask first, or at least say something, but Dominic couldn't wait another second; he had to taste Billy, wanted to make him come. And it's wonderful to feel Billy's cock against his lips. Wonderful to hear the sounds he loves come from Billy's mouth. Dominic opens his eyes, kissing open-mouthed along the shaft of Billy's cock and sees that not only is Billy enjoying it, he's watching. That, more than anything else, turns Dominic on as he works his mouth back up, closing his lips over the head and sucking gently.
"Dom," Billy whispers, clutching the side of the couch. Seeing Dominic pause and his eyebrows rise, Billy shakes his head. "No. Don't stop. Please don't stop."
Finally hearing what he's needed, Dominic closes his eyes, tugging Billy's jeans down a bit further and sinking his head lower as he takes more of Billy into his mouth, beginning to suck harder and faster. He slides both hands up to Billy's slim hips, pushing him back into the cushions slightly.
Billy cries out, his hand twisting into Dominic's short hair, trying to push Dominic lower. He struggles against the hands that are holding him down, wanting to thrust into Dominic's mouth, feeling so close to release. Opening his eyes again, Billy looks down to watch, the sight completely destroying his will and he comes, feeling Dominic's throat contracting around him with each shuddering release.
Lying back against the pillow behind him, Billy's chest heaves as he tries to gather enough air into his lungs. He's had women go down on him in the past but it had been nothing like--nothing like this. The thought of Dominic's mouth on him makes him tremble as he remembers the sight of it. He brings his hands up to his face, scrubbing, then pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes, blocking out all light. Deprived of all else, Billy's mind replays the image of concave cheeks as Dominic drew Billy to the edge then threw him over. His body shudders again.
Dominic feels Billy shiver and runs his hands lightly over Billy's thighs where goose bumps have appeared. Crawling up to lay next to him on the couch, Dominic pulls the blanket over them. He tugs on Billy's hands, then, needing to see his face--his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"Look at me."
Billy lets Dominic pull his hands away and sees that Dominic's forehead is furrowed in concerned. He smiles, his eyes crinkling. "You could make a fortune with a mouth like that," he says in a voice a little more than shaky.
"You think?" Dominic tilts his head, still trying to read Billy's expression. "No regrets? We're all right?"
"We're fucking fantastic." Pulling Dominic to him, Billy kisses him before letting go, his head falling back against the pillow. Dominic follows, deepening the kiss. Billy tastes himself on Dominic's tongue, salty and musky. Something else he hasn't ever really done with a woman. He almost wants to pull away, but doesn't--finds he doesn't need to. Doesn't really want to.
Straightening up, Dominic grins. "Am I the best you've ever had?"
"You know you're verging on the ridiculous." Dominic ducks his head, chuckling, nuzzling Billy's shoulder. His mouth close to Dominic's ear, Billy whispers, "And yes. You are."
"And you. God, you're so fucking hot."
Laughing, Billy plants a kiss on Dominic's cheek. He strokes his fingers through Dominic's mussed hair from where Dominic rests on his shoulder, remembering now what he'd wanted to ask earlier. The thought of books and training manuals are almost completely forgotten. "Dom?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you still ... em ... did you?"
Dominic smiles against Billy's shoulder, knowing what he's asking and feeling the insistent throb between his legs. Instead of answering, he shifts his hips and thrusts down against Billy's thigh, a moan leaving his lips before he can stop it.
"Can I touch you?" Billy asks, feeling the hardness against his leg.
"God, yes."
Billy runs his hand down to Dominic's waist, pulling. "Then c'mere."
Dominic laughs, turning his head to nuzzle against Billy's neck before he stands up off the couch. Pulling his shirt over his head, he drops it at his feet before he straddles Billy's hips, kneeling. "This okay?"
"I should be asking you that," Billy says, staring at the straining shape of Dominic's erection showing through his loose jeans. He lifts his hand and runs his fingers along the bulge, up to the button of his jeans.
Dominic watches, eager but afraid of showing it too much, unable to quite believe it's finally happening and they're moving forward. His thoughts flash back to earlier in the evening, to Billy's insistence that he'd have to leave early because they had an early call to the set. He smiles softly, remembering his promise that they were only going to watch a movie. The movie was long forgotten and the television now flashed a blank screen, making the room glow blue. "I'm okay like this."
With Dominic's jeans open, Billy begins to tug them down, revealing the crumpled fabric of boxers. He slips his fingers into the material, watching, his mouth slightly open, as Dominic's erection is freed, and quickly takes him into his hand. He draws his hand in slow strokes up and down Dominic's cock, the angle awkward.
His tongue sneaking out to moisten his dry lips, Dominic still watches, enthralled. Billy's fingers encircle him as his thumb flicks over the head, making him moan. Billy is driving him insane with the gentle touches and he knows that he won't last very long, having waited so long. He sits back on his heels, holding himself steady with a hand on the back of the couch as he circles his fingers over Billy's, moving them a little faster. Dominic inhales sharply, arching his back into the touch. Grabbing for Billy's other hand, Dominic pulls it up to kiss his palm before moving it over his chest. Billy seems to take the hint quickly, and begins caressing Dominic's chest, running his fingertips over his hardened nipples. Thrusting his hips slowly into their joined hands, his breathing ragged, Dominic has to bite out his words. "So close, Bill. Goddamn, I love how you feel. How you touch me."
Dropping his hands back to steady himself, Dominic lets Billy take over. His head falls forward and he keeps a steady motion with his hips. Groaning, he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the tightness work its way through his body before he finally finds his own release.
Billy moves his hand, wet and sticky, over the head of Dominic's cock. The smell is strongly musky, and he's reminded of Dominic kissing him. Pulling Dominic down to him, he rubs his dry hand over Dominic's back, unsure of what to do with the mess on the other. After a few minutes, when Dominic's breathing evens out, he nudges his shoulder. "Can you hand me something to ..."
"Mhmf? Oh. Yeah." Dominic leans to the side and grabs his shirt from the floor, using it to clean off Billy's hand. Not looking up, he asks, "Will you stay?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Of course I do."
"Good. Because I think I'm too tired to ever move again."
"How about to the bedroom?" Dominic rolls off of Billy and stands up, letting his jeans and boxers fall to the floor and stepping out of them. He holds his hand out to Billy, helping him to his feet and watching with some disappointment as Billy pulls his jeans up, obviously not wanting to go any further tonight. Dominic pulls their bodies together, running his hands down Billy's back and touching him like he's wanted to for months. "I wasn't expecting this."
"No?"
"I never really believed you would ... that you'd let me. I just. Didn't expect it."
"Oh. I didn't expect to let you, to be honest."
Dominic buries his face in Billy's neck feeling elated--overwhelmed. "I love you, Billy," he mumbles, already afraid he's pushed it too far tonight.
Billy pushes Dominic away gently, holding him by the shoulders as he tries to understand his own reaction. "What?"
Dominic bites his lip, making a decision. He decides that in this case, he doesn't care. "I love you. I'm in love with you."
"I ..." Billy hesitates, all his fears crowding back into his mind, each vying for attention. He knows what he feels but still thinks that things are happening much too fast--is frustrated with himself for thinking so.
"You don't have to say it back."
"I know. I do care for you. Very much."
"But." Suddenly self-conscious to be naked during this conversation, Dominic tries to pull away, only to have Billy pull him closer.
"I care for you but this is still hard for me. I'm sorry I can't give you more."
"Don't apologize. I didn't say it just to hear it back. I just wanted you to know." Dominic shakes off his disappointment, focusing on the advances that they've made tonight together, feeling it's all he can do. "I told you before that I would wait for you. Wait until you're ready."
"I know," Billy answers quietly--honestly. "Thank you."
"I can sleep on the couch tonight if you're going to be uncomfortable."
"No. I'd rather us be together." Billy's gratified to see the smile return to Dominic's lips, the one that lights up his entire being. Billy returns it, laughing, before pulling him back for another kiss. "To bed. Before I fall over right here."
"To bed."
::
"Lighe?"
"Yeah?"
Elijah answers but Sean thinks that maybe he's not really awake. Squatting down next to the couch, he pushes his fingers through Elijah's dark hair, laughing as it sticks up crazily. That earns him one eye open at least. "Do you want to sleep here, or do you want me to take you home?"
Rolling onto his side, Elijah yawns and shrugs. "Do you see my glasses?"
"They're here." Sean takes them from where he'd set them on the small table, holding them out. "I don't mind if you stay."
Elijah rolls up, sitting on the couch and scrubbing at his face. The movie they were watching is off, replaced by what looks like MTV, but the sound is muted. He looks around for the control to switch channels but gives up. Sean has moved, sitting next to him now on the couch and waiting for him to wake up, so Elijah sinks against his warm side.
“I spent the day with Billy and Dominic today.” Elijah says this apropos of nothing, but it’s something that’s been feeding off his mind all day. Lunch had evolved into a kind of weird date featuring Elijah as third wheel. Neither Dominic nor Billy had seemed to mind, but it felt strange to Elijah. In a happy kind of way, though--he's happy that he’s finally been let in on the secret. “They kind of came out to me.”
Sean is used to this kind of conversation from Elijah. He supposes that there is so much going on, so little time for just relaxing, that Elijah has learned to pick up where he think he’s left off. Sean remembers doing it himself between takes when he was on other sets, but never to the extent they do here. Here, an entire week sometimes comes between the beginning and end of conversations. “Did they?”
Elijah bites at his nails again, wishing he had a cigarette but not wanting to ask for one. Christine doesn’t like him to smoke in the house anyway, and he doesn’t feel like moving away from Sean’s warmth to go outside. “I envy them in a way. They seem really happy.”
"You'll be happy."
“Like they know what they want.”
“One day,” Sean adds, wishing he could dispense wisdom like Ian or Viggo. Instead, he tugs Elijah closer, rubbing the back of his neck as he offers the only wisdom he feels he has to offer--the kind he gives his daughter when she’s woken from a bad dream. The words don’t matter, he learned from experience, but the tone. “It’ll happen. I promise. You’ll meet someone and know. Just know.”
continue to chapter five
Author: Dani
Fandom: Lotrips
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: Hard R
Disclaimer: A work of fiction; the recognizable people in the story belong to themselves and have never performed the actions portrayed here. I do not know the actors nor am I associated with them in any way. If you are underage, please do not read this story. I am not making any profit from these stories, nor do I mean any harm.
Notes: see chapter one, two, three
May 2000
It’s mid-town at midday and Billy’s spent two hours browsing the aisles of the bookstore, carefully avoiding the salesclerks who try to approach. Things have been progressing with Dominic, but Billy still feels lost sometimes. Nervous. So he's found himself here, with the vague idea of finding something to ease his concerns and fears, even knowing it’s a fool’s errand.
Standing at the magazine rack, he looks around at the few customers, feeling as though everyone is looking at him, waiting to see what he's going to do. He shakes his head, smiling a little at himself and, summoning his courage, walks over to the section marked Sexuality. Once there, he looks over his shoulder. Seeing no one near him in the cramped aisle, he takes a book from the shelf, quickly flipping through the pages and just as quickly replacing it. He does the same with a few more titles, hoping for something like a training manual. Something that would give a good how-to, although he thinks he already understands the basics.
Hearing a voice draw near, Billy replaces the book in his hand and turns, trying to look interested in a self-help book on actualizing your dreams as two women inch their way towards him. He scrunches up against the shelf to allow them passage, frowning fiercely when they stop on the other side. He feels compelled to redouble his efforts to be involved in the book in his hands, realizing too late that it's turned upside down. Mentally rolling his eyes, he snaps the book shut. It's nothing to be ashamed of, he admonishes himself. Dominic would simply look for what he wanted and buy it. Of course, Dominic doesn't need a book on homosexuality.
Billy sighs and looks back over his shoulder. The women have moved out of sight, giving Billy the chance to hurriedly peruse the titles again. He picks up one book that looks promising and holds it tightly against his chest before he grabs another, putting it in front of the first. Satisfied--reasonably satisfied--he makes his way to the register, but another couple reaches it before he does, forcing him to turn off to look at a stand of bookmarks.
Billy hasn't considered this part. Paying means showing, which is near enough to telling. He wonders if the guy running the register would just let him call out the prices. Then he wonders if he has enough cash to pay for them. Fishing out his wallet to check, he hears the cashier speaking to him and panics, again clutching the books tightly to his chest. He steps to the side, out of the line he hadn't realized formed behind him, stammering out, "No. I ... ehm ... still looking, thanks."
It's time, he decides, to admit this is a silly idea in the first place. What is there to learn from a book? He knows what goes where; just because it's another man doesn't make it much different from his other relationships. Okay, physically different, but then he hadn't needed a book to figure things out with a woman. Sighing again, Billy looks down at the books in his hands. Here he is, thirty-one years old, and everything feels like the first time. His first kiss. His first date. His first ... everything. He hates feeling like Dominic has to show him the way--hold his hand the whole time as he blushes and stutters like a girl. He heads back to the section from where he's just come: Sexuality.
It's not been all bad, of course. There's the time they actually held hands in public. Well, almost public. Billy smiles as he remembers how they had sat in the back of a practically empty theatre, and how Dominic had whispered about making out like teenagers. But as usual, Billy was too nervous to do anything, though the idea certainly had had its appeal. So, they had sat there, their legs touching, until Dominic had reached over and taken his hand, their fingers interlacing.
Billy puts the books back on the shelf and stands for a moment, perplexed. He wants to do more. Wants to take their relationship further, and knows that Dominic does, too. Dominic is careful, of course, to let Billy set the pace, but Billy's tired of feeling like the blushing virgin, jumping every time he and Dominic touch while kissing. At his age, he's played the seducer enough to know what to do.
Leaning his back against the shelf behind him, Billy acknowledges that his real fear is what comes next in the relationship--not sexually, but emotionally. He feels that he's in love, though he hasn't said it, at least not in the straight-faced words I love you, Dominic--his version goes more along the lines of you’re such an idiot. He does love Dom, though. He's never felt anything like this before. Still, his thoughts always turn towards his family and friends back in Glasgow. How would they react if they knew? And what about his career? Both of their careers.
Billy searches the titles again, hoping to find one titled So, You're in Love with Your Best Mate and Scared That Your World Is Going to Come Crashing Down at Any Moment, and Oh, You Desperately Want to Have Sex with Him But Are Afraid He'll Laugh. Irritated with himself, Billy finally gives up and turns to leave, but before he can get more than a meter from where he stands, his mobile chirrups. Digging inside his coat pocket, he brings it out and looks at the screen. Dominic. Billy smiles as he answers, his mood cheering considerably. "Allo?"
"Hiya, sexy."
Billy's grin broadens, even as his cheeks redden. He glances around again, just in case. "Hello."
"Where are you?"
"Bookshop downtown on Main."
"Come meet me at Eva's for lunch? Well, Elijah and me."
"I'd love to. Where are you now?"
"Almost there. Driving up Courtenay Place. We could pick you up."
"No, I'll walk. It's not that far."
"I tried to call you earlier and had to settle for hanging out with the wonder boy this morning."
"Poor lad." Billy laughs when he hears Elijah protest. "I'm sure he appreciates that, by the way."
"So, what are you doing in a bookstore on our one day off, and not spending it with me?"
"I ... um ..." Unable to think of a quick excuse to be in a bookstore on a Saturday morning, especially with a stack of unread books in his house, Billy's grateful when he hears Dominic's laughter.
"I know, Bills. I know. Buying books. We'll be at the restaurant in about five minutes. Are you sure you don't want us to pick you up?"
"No, I'll walk." Billy wonders when, exactly, he had begun holding his breath. "Very near there. Shouldn't be but a couple of minutes behind you."
"See you soon, then."
Billy flips his phone shut. Buying books, he thinks. I'm such an idiot. He wonders again why he should be so nervous about it. It's not like it's a porn shop, though a place like that might have done more good. And Dominic probably would have been more excited. Would want to have read the books together while having a cuddle. In fact, Billy suddenly has a very clear mental picture of him and Dominic curled up in bed, reading something like The Joys of Gay Sex. He laughs at the thought, happy at the return of perspective, and heads towards the front of the shop again. Seeing a display near the door, he stops again.
***
"I'm totally supportive, by the way." Elijah sits looking over the menu, studiously not looking at Dominic in an attempt to seem nonchalant.
Dominic looks up, confused, wondering in what way Elijah is supportive of the Manchester music scene, the subject of their conversation of just a moment ago. "I'm sorry?"
"You and Billy," Elijah says, still pretending to be deciding between the quiche and a turkey sandwich.
Setting his menu down, Dominic picks up a fork instead, inspecting it carefully. "Yeah. What about us?" He raises his eyes in time to see a flash of hurt across Elijah's face. The guilt he's carried in not confiding in Elijah makes itself felt again, but he reasons that Billy's privacy is more important. Having Sean know everything is bad enough. "What makes you think that there's anything going on?"
Elijah gives an exaggerated sigh, rolling his eyes as Dominic laughs at him. "C'mon. You two totally give off couple vibes." Interrupted by the waiter who takes their drink orders, Elijah waits until they're alone. "See. That. Right there. Ordering drinks for each other. Couple vibes."
Dominic sets down the fork, and straightens up, holding back his laughter under an air of British reserve. "Couple vibes?" he asks, as if he's never heard anything more ridiculous. In truth, he's quite happy that someone else sees it. He hides it well, though, or attempts to, picking up his menu again even though he's already decided. "Have you been reading Liv's Cosmo again, mate?"
"No! Couple vibes," Elijah says again, as if it should be perfectly obvious to anyone with half a brain. "You stand close together. Ask each other's opinions about everything. Finish each other's sentences ..."
"You and Orlando do that."
"That's different! Anyway, here comes Billy," Elijah says, spotting Billy and waving him over. "Maybe I'll just ask him."
Practically spinning in his seat, Dominic sees Billy walking toward them and turns back. He reaches over and tugs on Elijah's sleeve. "Don't say anything to him, Elijah. Please. He won't like it."
"I won't. I was just teasing." Elijah pats Dominic's hand, hoping he hadn't treaded on any boundaries, but still wishing either Dominic or Billy had told him. Still, he pushes the hurt from his mind, watching as Dominic budges up across the bench to let Billy sit next to him at the small booth. "Hey, Billy."
"Hi, Little Bit. Dom." Sliding into the booth next to Dominic and setting his package on the seat between them, Billy grins at the expression on Elijah's face upon hearing Orlando's pet name for him. "Sorry I'm late. Took me a little longer than I thought."
"S'alright. We just ordered drinks."
"Dom ordered yours, Billy."
Dominic raises his eyebrow in warning at Elijah, who picks up his menu in an attempt to hide his laughter. Billy watches the exchange, curious. "What's going on?"
"Nothing," Dominic mutters, glaring at the back of Elijah's menu. They're silent for a moment before Dominic indicates down to Billy's bag. "Did you bring me a gift?"
"I did, actually." Billy picks up the bag and hands it over, eager to see Dominic's reaction.
"I was only kidding! Is it really for me?" Looking up to find excited expectation on Billy's face, Dominic smiles, warmed by the idea that Billy had been thinking of him. "What is it?"
"Open it."
Dominic reaches inside the bag and pulls out a beautifully bound leather book. Billy takes it from him and opens it to the middle, showing him the pages. "It's a journal. I noticed you were getting to the end of yours. Look, the paper's handmade."
"Thank you. It's beautiful." Dominic accepts the journal back, closing it and running his hand over the soft cover. They look at each other for a long moment, forgetting that they aren't alone.
"Couple vibes." Elijah sounds as if he's made the final decision of a very long argument, and looks as smug as a teacher's pet.
"What do you mean?" Billy asks.
"Nothing, Bill. He's just--"
"--I was just wondering--"
"--Liv's magazine. He was just telling me." Dominic cuts Elijah off quickly, worried about just what he would say next. He's been looking forward to spending the rest of the day with Billy and doesn't want him to turn introspective and quiet, as he often does when something about their relationship bothers him. Throwing another warning look towards Elijah before he returns his attention back to the journal, Dominic strokes his hand down its spine and opens it again. "This is really gorgeous, Billy. Thank you so much."
"You're welcome," Billy says, not quite so easily dissuaded. "What were you talking about, Elijah?"
"Nothing. Really." Elijah, repentant once again, sets his menu down and manages to look contrite. "Just teasing. Joking."
Billy notes the look on Dominic's flushed face--the way the tip of his ears turn red when he's angry--as he sits pretending to be absorbed in looking at the book in his hands. Thinking he's figured out what the joke is, Billy sits back, a little dazed but strangely pleased with how Dominic's reacted. Maybe Dominic does try to protect him overmuch, but he knows it's out of love, and that thought does a lot to ease the discomfort of Elijah's teasing.
The waiter returns with their drinks in hand then takes their orders, leaving them once again to sit in silence. Dominic still sits playing with the journal, afraid to look back at either of them. He wants to strangle Elijah for saying anything but also wants to be able to talk about their relationship openly, especially with friends. Now, he's at a loss as to what to say to either of them.
Billy finally breaks the silence, an amused smile on his lips at the sight of Dominic being the uncomfortable one for a change. "So, he's figured it out, then."
Dominic nods but doesn't look up. Carefully, he replaces the journal back in its bag then folds his hands on the table in front of him, becoming very interested in his thumbnails.
"I'm sorry, Billy. Dom didn't tell me; I just figured it out on my own." Elijah begins in a bluster but spins down quickly, lowering his eyes as he bites on a ragged cuticle. "I shouldn't have joked about it though."
Billy winks, smiling at him in reassurance. "Oh. Well. I guess there's no point in hiding it, is there Dom?" Billy takes Dominic's hand from the table and squeezes it before lowering their clasped hands to his lap. "It's just Elijah, and he apparently knows all about it anyway."
"I knew it! I think it's great! Really! I'm so happy for you."
Dominic smiles broadly though he keeps his eyes on the table, afraid now that if he looks up they would see his silly grin and tease him about it. He can't believe that Billy's actually said it out loud. To somebody else. In public. With his free hand, he begins to play with the silverware again, trying to compose himself while gripping Billy's hand tightly.
"So, who else are you going to tell?"
Dominic looks to Billy now, wanting to shout everybody but he knows already that Billy wouldn't agree to that. Instead, he nods his head briefly at Billy and says, keeping his voice steady, "Well, Sean already knows. And Orlando."
"Orlando?" Billy asks.
"He already knows. He was there, Billy. That day, remember?"
Billy does remember and nods. "Orlando, then."
"And Ian, probably, too."
"Well, then. Just people who know already." Elijah says, mirth in his voice. When they glance up, Elijah laughs at the twin looks he receives. "Don't worry. We've kept your secret better than you two have. Need to piss. Be right back."
Dominic watches Elijah walk away before turning back toward Billy, still gripping his hand. "So, you're alright with it."
"Yeah."
Dominic shakes his head. "No, say it."
"Say what?" Billy's face is serious, but a smile threatens.
"Billy!"
Laughing, Billy glances around quickly to make sure no one is watching and then leans in to give Dominic a peck on the cheek. "Together, Dom. We're together."
::
Later that night as they sit together on the couch, their legs entwined, Dominic leans his shoulder heavily against Billy's chest. Billy had long ago lost interest in the movie, choosing instead to watch Dominic's fingers as they traced patterns on the inside of Billy's knee. Dominic has wonderful hands, large and square palmed, with long fingers. Tanned skin against the paleness of Billy's when they twist their fingers together. He loves Dominic's hands. Loves how they grip a bottle, how they're so often spattered with ink. How they touch him gently, softly, and yet so possessively at the same time.
Billy turns his head a bit and watches Dominic, who is still paying attention to the movie, his fingers still moving in slow arcs against the denim of Billy's jeans. Licking his lips, Billy thinks of those fingers touching him in other places and grows aroused. He shifts a bit until Dominic's hand clutches at his knee. It only makes things worse.
Dominic feels the soft kiss behind his ear, then hot breath a moment before Billy's lips descend again. And then there is the touch of Billy's tongue, followed by a gentle bite on his ear lobe. Dominic smiles, surprised, and turns slightly; just enough to let Billy know that he's not so interested in the movie any longer. Billy smiles back, placing a hand against Dominic's cheek and turning his head, kissing him lightly. Sucking gently on his lower lip. Turning his whole body then, Dominic wraps his arms around Billy, returning the kiss and pressing Billy's head back against the couch. Their lips parting, his smile widens. "Hi."
"Hello."
They kiss again, long and slow, taking their time, shifting and turning on the couch. Dominic tilts his head, plunging his tongue deep into Billy's mouth, searching and finding the heat and warmth and silkiness. He loses himself in the kiss, his mind buzzing.
Lying lengthwise on the sofa now, their legs still tangled together, Billy's hips fit snugly against Dominic's. He's only just congratulating himself on remembering how to seduce, whether bird or bloke, when Dominic slides his leg between Billy's, pressing, his hand snaking across and down the front of Billy's shirt. Slipping his thumb beneath the thin material, his fingers sneak up to caress the soft skin of Billy's stomach, tracing a finger to his navel and dipping inside.
Dominic angles his head, kissing Billy's jaw before he slides his mouth down Billy's neck, sucking. Nipping. Biting. Trying to elicit that little gasp that Billy sometimes gives if he ... yeah, there it is. Dominic smiles against the wet flesh of Billy's neck, loving that he can make that sound come from Billy.
Billy feels Dominic smile--even with his eyes closed and his hands kneading Dominic's back, encouraging him. Feels him smile. Feels his happiness. "What?"
"I love that."
"Love what?"
"That noise you make when I ..." He tries again but fails to get Billy to duplicate it. "Haven't quite figured it out. Yet."
"Yet?" Billy's going for amused, but is distracted by Dominic's lips moving against his again, the kiss now needy and bit more demanding. He moves his hands to cup the sides of Dominic's head, holding him steady, giving and taking. Unable to control himself, Billy thrusts against Dominic's thigh, moaning low in his throat, aching with want.
Dominic groans into Billy's mouth, moving his body over Billy's, running his hand down Billy's denim-clad hip, letting it wander between their shifting hips and legs. Feeling heat and hardness, he moves his hand up and applies more pressure.
Billy’s senses return to him with a jolt as he realizes what he had been doing and where Dominic's hand is. He jumps in response even as Dominic continues the kiss--continues stroking him. Even as a shock runs through his body making him want to cry out, Billy grabs Dominic's wrist, lifting his hand from where it moves in long, slow caresses.
Dominic doesn't want to stop touching Billy, but doesn't want to push things. He lets Billy move his hand and lets his mind fall back into the kiss. His body rests heavily on Billy, their kisses growing languorous. Thinking that perhaps another tactic will work better, he presses down, rubbing their denim covered erections together so that Billy can feel how much he's wanted. Needed.
With his eyes closed, Billy is all sensation. All heat and friction. He feels surrounded by Dominic. Encompassed by him, and Billy's will to hold back is evaporating. He willingly gives himself over this time, breathing out the name he clings to--slurs it out, elongating it. Dominic moves his mouth over Billy's face, lightly kissing, trying to hold on, to not push. Whatever slim thread of control he has slips away, though, when he hears Billy call out his name in a voice choked by arousal. He presses his mouth close to Billy's ear, whispering his name back, then descends on his throat, kissing his jaw, neck and shoulders. His fingers move down to work open the buttons of Billy's shirt, greedy in their need to touch skin. He kisses down Billy's chest, popping buttons until the shirt hangs completely open and he's staring at the trail of hair that disappears into Billy's jeans.
Billy is almost thankful for the brief respite in the kisses, as he gets the chance to breathe and clear his mind. To will away his erection. He closes his eyes, breathing deeply, trying not to think about what Dominic is doing--or realize that he's lost all control of the situation. But when the pressure between his legs suddenly returns, he finds himself only getting harder. "Dom?"
His face nestled against the warmth radiating from Billy's crotch, Dominic touches his lips to the denim covered bulge. A shiver runs through his body, just knowing what lies beneath the clothing--just knowing that Billy is so aroused. Pressing his mouth a little closer, he murmurs Billy's name again, now against the fabric of his jeans.
Billy inhales sharply, fighting the urge to thrust up against Dominic's mouth as the vibration of Dominic's voice travels through his body. He reaches down to grasp Dominic's shoulders, digging his fingers into the flesh. "Oh, God," he whispers, his voice strained.
Dominic raises his eyes so that he can see Billy without losing too much contact. He smiles when he sees Billy's lips parted, his eyes half-closed, looking back at him through heavy lashes, looking needy and reckless, and appearing very much over his earlier reticence. "Can I touch you?"
Past being able to remember any possible reason for why he hadn't wanted Dominic to touch him earlier--any reason why this might be a bad idea--Billy breathes out a choked moan in response, pulling on Dominic's shirt. "Please. Yeah. Please don’t stop touching me."
"Well, I mean ..." And Dominic wonders if he should say it, or just do it.
"Hmm?"
Dominic's fingers quickly work on the fastening of Billy's jeans, before he finally slides his hand in, immediately feeling the heated flesh. "Jesus, I thought you might have been ... but ... God ..."
Billy's laugh is nervous. "I ... I didn't plan it this way. I swear."
Wrapping his fingers around Billy's erection, Dominic gently pulls it from the confines of the jeans. Like unwrapping a present, he thinks vaguely, too far gone to think of being thought twee as he stares at what he's only seen in his fantasies, more than aware that those fantasies are nothing like the real thing. Billy is thick and hard in his hand, and when Dominic moves his hand up and down Billy's length, the body beneath him writhes, very warm and very real. His fantasies are pushed aside as he purposefully licks his lips.
Billy closes his eyes, letting himself fall into the rhythm of each stroke. It feels very familiar and yet so different. Dominic's stroke is confident, experienced, and not hesitant as many of the women with whom Billy has been. Different, and yet familiar because since their first kiss so many month ago, Billy has imagined his own hand was Dominic's. He's been wondering what it would be like, to be touched like this. To touch Dominic like this. "D'you want me to ... holy mother of--" Billy bites his tongue, unable to put words to the incredible sensation: wetness, warmth, lips. Dominic's mouth.
He'd meant to ask first, or at least say something, but Dominic couldn't wait another second; he had to taste Billy, wanted to make him come. And it's wonderful to feel Billy's cock against his lips. Wonderful to hear the sounds he loves come from Billy's mouth. Dominic opens his eyes, kissing open-mouthed along the shaft of Billy's cock and sees that not only is Billy enjoying it, he's watching. That, more than anything else, turns Dominic on as he works his mouth back up, closing his lips over the head and sucking gently.
"Dom," Billy whispers, clutching the side of the couch. Seeing Dominic pause and his eyebrows rise, Billy shakes his head. "No. Don't stop. Please don't stop."
Finally hearing what he's needed, Dominic closes his eyes, tugging Billy's jeans down a bit further and sinking his head lower as he takes more of Billy into his mouth, beginning to suck harder and faster. He slides both hands up to Billy's slim hips, pushing him back into the cushions slightly.
Billy cries out, his hand twisting into Dominic's short hair, trying to push Dominic lower. He struggles against the hands that are holding him down, wanting to thrust into Dominic's mouth, feeling so close to release. Opening his eyes again, Billy looks down to watch, the sight completely destroying his will and he comes, feeling Dominic's throat contracting around him with each shuddering release.
Lying back against the pillow behind him, Billy's chest heaves as he tries to gather enough air into his lungs. He's had women go down on him in the past but it had been nothing like--nothing like this. The thought of Dominic's mouth on him makes him tremble as he remembers the sight of it. He brings his hands up to his face, scrubbing, then pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes, blocking out all light. Deprived of all else, Billy's mind replays the image of concave cheeks as Dominic drew Billy to the edge then threw him over. His body shudders again.
Dominic feels Billy shiver and runs his hands lightly over Billy's thighs where goose bumps have appeared. Crawling up to lay next to him on the couch, Dominic pulls the blanket over them. He tugs on Billy's hands, then, needing to see his face--his eyes. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"Look at me."
Billy lets Dominic pull his hands away and sees that Dominic's forehead is furrowed in concerned. He smiles, his eyes crinkling. "You could make a fortune with a mouth like that," he says in a voice a little more than shaky.
"You think?" Dominic tilts his head, still trying to read Billy's expression. "No regrets? We're all right?"
"We're fucking fantastic." Pulling Dominic to him, Billy kisses him before letting go, his head falling back against the pillow. Dominic follows, deepening the kiss. Billy tastes himself on Dominic's tongue, salty and musky. Something else he hasn't ever really done with a woman. He almost wants to pull away, but doesn't--finds he doesn't need to. Doesn't really want to.
Straightening up, Dominic grins. "Am I the best you've ever had?"
"You know you're verging on the ridiculous." Dominic ducks his head, chuckling, nuzzling Billy's shoulder. His mouth close to Dominic's ear, Billy whispers, "And yes. You are."
"And you. God, you're so fucking hot."
Laughing, Billy plants a kiss on Dominic's cheek. He strokes his fingers through Dominic's mussed hair from where Dominic rests on his shoulder, remembering now what he'd wanted to ask earlier. The thought of books and training manuals are almost completely forgotten. "Dom?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you still ... em ... did you?"
Dominic smiles against Billy's shoulder, knowing what he's asking and feeling the insistent throb between his legs. Instead of answering, he shifts his hips and thrusts down against Billy's thigh, a moan leaving his lips before he can stop it.
"Can I touch you?" Billy asks, feeling the hardness against his leg.
"God, yes."
Billy runs his hand down to Dominic's waist, pulling. "Then c'mere."
Dominic laughs, turning his head to nuzzle against Billy's neck before he stands up off the couch. Pulling his shirt over his head, he drops it at his feet before he straddles Billy's hips, kneeling. "This okay?"
"I should be asking you that," Billy says, staring at the straining shape of Dominic's erection showing through his loose jeans. He lifts his hand and runs his fingers along the bulge, up to the button of his jeans.
Dominic watches, eager but afraid of showing it too much, unable to quite believe it's finally happening and they're moving forward. His thoughts flash back to earlier in the evening, to Billy's insistence that he'd have to leave early because they had an early call to the set. He smiles softly, remembering his promise that they were only going to watch a movie. The movie was long forgotten and the television now flashed a blank screen, making the room glow blue. "I'm okay like this."
With Dominic's jeans open, Billy begins to tug them down, revealing the crumpled fabric of boxers. He slips his fingers into the material, watching, his mouth slightly open, as Dominic's erection is freed, and quickly takes him into his hand. He draws his hand in slow strokes up and down Dominic's cock, the angle awkward.
His tongue sneaking out to moisten his dry lips, Dominic still watches, enthralled. Billy's fingers encircle him as his thumb flicks over the head, making him moan. Billy is driving him insane with the gentle touches and he knows that he won't last very long, having waited so long. He sits back on his heels, holding himself steady with a hand on the back of the couch as he circles his fingers over Billy's, moving them a little faster. Dominic inhales sharply, arching his back into the touch. Grabbing for Billy's other hand, Dominic pulls it up to kiss his palm before moving it over his chest. Billy seems to take the hint quickly, and begins caressing Dominic's chest, running his fingertips over his hardened nipples. Thrusting his hips slowly into their joined hands, his breathing ragged, Dominic has to bite out his words. "So close, Bill. Goddamn, I love how you feel. How you touch me."
Dropping his hands back to steady himself, Dominic lets Billy take over. His head falls forward and he keeps a steady motion with his hips. Groaning, he squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the tightness work its way through his body before he finally finds his own release.
Billy moves his hand, wet and sticky, over the head of Dominic's cock. The smell is strongly musky, and he's reminded of Dominic kissing him. Pulling Dominic down to him, he rubs his dry hand over Dominic's back, unsure of what to do with the mess on the other. After a few minutes, when Dominic's breathing evens out, he nudges his shoulder. "Can you hand me something to ..."
"Mhmf? Oh. Yeah." Dominic leans to the side and grabs his shirt from the floor, using it to clean off Billy's hand. Not looking up, he asks, "Will you stay?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Of course I do."
"Good. Because I think I'm too tired to ever move again."
"How about to the bedroom?" Dominic rolls off of Billy and stands up, letting his jeans and boxers fall to the floor and stepping out of them. He holds his hand out to Billy, helping him to his feet and watching with some disappointment as Billy pulls his jeans up, obviously not wanting to go any further tonight. Dominic pulls their bodies together, running his hands down Billy's back and touching him like he's wanted to for months. "I wasn't expecting this."
"No?"
"I never really believed you would ... that you'd let me. I just. Didn't expect it."
"Oh. I didn't expect to let you, to be honest."
Dominic buries his face in Billy's neck feeling elated--overwhelmed. "I love you, Billy," he mumbles, already afraid he's pushed it too far tonight.
Billy pushes Dominic away gently, holding him by the shoulders as he tries to understand his own reaction. "What?"
Dominic bites his lip, making a decision. He decides that in this case, he doesn't care. "I love you. I'm in love with you."
"I ..." Billy hesitates, all his fears crowding back into his mind, each vying for attention. He knows what he feels but still thinks that things are happening much too fast--is frustrated with himself for thinking so.
"You don't have to say it back."
"I know. I do care for you. Very much."
"But." Suddenly self-conscious to be naked during this conversation, Dominic tries to pull away, only to have Billy pull him closer.
"I care for you but this is still hard for me. I'm sorry I can't give you more."
"Don't apologize. I didn't say it just to hear it back. I just wanted you to know." Dominic shakes off his disappointment, focusing on the advances that they've made tonight together, feeling it's all he can do. "I told you before that I would wait for you. Wait until you're ready."
"I know," Billy answers quietly--honestly. "Thank you."
"I can sleep on the couch tonight if you're going to be uncomfortable."
"No. I'd rather us be together." Billy's gratified to see the smile return to Dominic's lips, the one that lights up his entire being. Billy returns it, laughing, before pulling him back for another kiss. "To bed. Before I fall over right here."
"To bed."
::
"Lighe?"
"Yeah?"
Elijah answers but Sean thinks that maybe he's not really awake. Squatting down next to the couch, he pushes his fingers through Elijah's dark hair, laughing as it sticks up crazily. That earns him one eye open at least. "Do you want to sleep here, or do you want me to take you home?"
Rolling onto his side, Elijah yawns and shrugs. "Do you see my glasses?"
"They're here." Sean takes them from where he'd set them on the small table, holding them out. "I don't mind if you stay."
Elijah rolls up, sitting on the couch and scrubbing at his face. The movie they were watching is off, replaced by what looks like MTV, but the sound is muted. He looks around for the control to switch channels but gives up. Sean has moved, sitting next to him now on the couch and waiting for him to wake up, so Elijah sinks against his warm side.
“I spent the day with Billy and Dominic today.” Elijah says this apropos of nothing, but it’s something that’s been feeding off his mind all day. Lunch had evolved into a kind of weird date featuring Elijah as third wheel. Neither Dominic nor Billy had seemed to mind, but it felt strange to Elijah. In a happy kind of way, though--he's happy that he’s finally been let in on the secret. “They kind of came out to me.”
Sean is used to this kind of conversation from Elijah. He supposes that there is so much going on, so little time for just relaxing, that Elijah has learned to pick up where he think he’s left off. Sean remembers doing it himself between takes when he was on other sets, but never to the extent they do here. Here, an entire week sometimes comes between the beginning and end of conversations. “Did they?”
Elijah bites at his nails again, wishing he had a cigarette but not wanting to ask for one. Christine doesn’t like him to smoke in the house anyway, and he doesn’t feel like moving away from Sean’s warmth to go outside. “I envy them in a way. They seem really happy.”
"You'll be happy."
“Like they know what they want.”
“One day,” Sean adds, wishing he could dispense wisdom like Ian or Viggo. Instead, he tugs Elijah closer, rubbing the back of his neck as he offers the only wisdom he feels he has to offer--the kind he gives his daughter when she’s woken from a bad dream. The words don’t matter, he learned from experience, but the tone. “It’ll happen. I promise. You’ll meet someone and know. Just know.”
continue to chapter five