Endor [Friday, obscenely early Fandom time]
Thorns dug deeply into Ben's cheek, injecting venom. His cheek swelled, and kept on swelling, skin growing taut, tissue underneath starting to rip, nerves beginning to scream...
...and that was when Ben knew it was a dream. He was far away from Jacen and his tortures. The vines of the Embrace of Pain had no power over him.
He opened his eyes in the darkness and touched his cheek anyway. Despite days in a bacta tank, his face was still slightly swollen. He rose from the cot he had in his new room (technically, a large closet in his dad's suite, but most of the Jedi had it much worse. They were still working on finding enough housing on Endor for an entire Order-in-exile), and padded out into the living room.
His father sat cross-legged in front of the large window, blinking less often than a man who was completely awake. He knew that Ben was there, of course, but he was waiting for his son to say something first.
And Ben knew why: he'd been twitchy and angry since they'd come from the Anakin Solo. Not that he didn't have good reason, of course: pain, self-consciousness, being tortured by a cousin he'd once looked up to like a big brother.
And a man who had killed his mother. He didn't believe for a minute that Alema had anything to do with Mara's death, but was pretty sure he was the only one in the galaxy to think that. And that was a pretty big secret to keep to himself.
So, yeah, he was twitchy and angry. But his father didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of it anymore. He took a deep breath, walked over to his father and sat down facing him. He ignored the ache in his joints when he did that--the medics had said they would hurt for weeks.
"I did the homework you and Mom gave me, you know," he said quietly.
Luke blinked. "What homework?"
It had been months ago, before Ben had gone to Fandom and met the man. "About Anakin Skywalker. The Emperor did horrible things to him--made him suspicious of his friends so they wouldn't be his friends. Made him kill younglings so no one would ever trust him again. Made him alone. Made him so no one else in the galaxy understood him except the Emperor. I bet that right before he became Darth Vader he hated the Emperor. But he didn't have anyone else."
He would ask him someday, if his grandfather didn't scare him so much. The holo Artoo had shown of Anakin going through the Temple on his spree had been burned into Ben's perfect memory from the time he was nine.
"I expect you're right," Luke said, nodding.
"So I figured it out," Ben said. "That's what Jacen was doing to me."
Luke's eyes lit up with comprehension. "That's exactly right."
"And if I'd killed him, I would've turned into Darth Vader," Ben concluded.
"Maybe. For a while."
"Maybe forever," Ben countered.
"Maybe." Luke shrugged, completely uncomfortable with this subject. Skywalkers had never been good on communicating the big feelings. "But if you understand that, if you remember it forever, you'll never turn into Darth Vader." His eyes focused out the window again. "I think you're probably smarter than my father."
Ben snorted. "That's not hard."
He had Luke's attention again. "Beg your pardon?"
Ben focused on his hands, folded on his knees. "He teaches at Fandom."
"Darth Vader teaches?"
"Anakin Skywalker teaches," Ben corrected. "A clone of him from after the second Death Star blew."
For a moment Luke was twenty years old again, begging his father not to die. It wasn't a pleasant memory. "What's he like?"
Ben was quiet for a moment. "Arrogant," he said finally. "Too sure of himself, incredibly quick to jump to conclusions. He doesn't really care about how many feelings he bruises to get his point across." He sighed. "But he normally does have a point. And the conclusions he jumps to are right. He didn't like Jacen from the beginning."
Luke tried to hide the hunger in his eyes. There was a chance to know the man. Or a version of him. Ask him questions... "I might have to meet him someday," he said.
"Someday," Ben echoed. It was now his turn to stare out the window. "I heard you sent Master Horn's son on a mission," he finally commented. "Even though you're friends with his dad."
"I have to forget those kinds of things when deciding who to send out on missions," Luke replied. "If I don't, I compromise the ethics of the Order and the trust the Knights and Masters have in me. I might even cause the downfall of the Order itself."
Ben was quiet for a moment. "Would you send me out on a mission where I could get killed?" he asked.
"I have before," Luke said quietly. "Centerpoint."
"You sent Jacen," Ben said. "I was just his apprentice. Would you send me, as a Jedi Knight?"
"That's a long time away," Luke hedged. "You've only just been appointed my apprentice."
Ben took a deep breath. "If you could kill Jacen or save Corran's son from the dark side, which would you choose?"
Luke was silent, trying to wait Ben out. But Ben was equally patient. He knew if he started talking again, his father could ignore the question, and he needed to hear the answer.
"Ben, I would kill Jacen," Luke said softly.
"So you gave me special consideration."
"Yes," Luke said, staring intently at his hands. "Speaking as the Grand Master, I shouldn't have."
Ben's heart plummeted. "So it makes me partially to blame that he's still out there," he said, voice sounding far too much like a little boy for his taste.
"No it doesn't."
"Yes, it does," Ben insisted. "And I'm not saying anything except...I don't want any special treatment. Not anymore. Not when there's anything important riding on it."
"You're right." He gave Ben a sidelong look. "You realize what a concession this is for me to give. How hard it is for me, as a father, to do."
Ben nodded.
"I want a concession from you. If you're ever in the same position you were on the Anakin Solo, with Jacen at your mercy, you take your shot only if you can do it without hate. No kidding yourself, no logical gymnastics. Without hate."
"Deal," Ben said, holding out his hand.
"I'm not quite finished," Luke said softly. "I also want you to talk with your grandfather about what happened."
Ben's jaw clenched.
"Ben, he knows what it's like," Luke continued. "He'll know what to do." And Luke wasn't feeling particularly equipped to lecture on the dark side right now, thanks to Jacen. He couldn't bear to lose another member of his family. He hoped any version of Anakin would understand that.
"So I'm going back?" Ben asked softly. "I thought I was getting treated like everyone else."
"You'll learn things from your grandfather I can't teach you," Luke said.
Ben bit back a scathing reply about how he already know how to kill space admirals and merely nodded. "When do I go back?"
"Tomorrow," Luke replied, shifting close enough to his son to brush shoulders. "For now, let's enjoy the quiet."
[OOC: Last post in the arc, yay! Some dialogue taken from Fury by Aaron "At Least I Have a Sense of Humor" Allston.]
...and that was when Ben knew it was a dream. He was far away from Jacen and his tortures. The vines of the Embrace of Pain had no power over him.
He opened his eyes in the darkness and touched his cheek anyway. Despite days in a bacta tank, his face was still slightly swollen. He rose from the cot he had in his new room (technically, a large closet in his dad's suite, but most of the Jedi had it much worse. They were still working on finding enough housing on Endor for an entire Order-in-exile), and padded out into the living room.
His father sat cross-legged in front of the large window, blinking less often than a man who was completely awake. He knew that Ben was there, of course, but he was waiting for his son to say something first.
And Ben knew why: he'd been twitchy and angry since they'd come from the Anakin Solo. Not that he didn't have good reason, of course: pain, self-consciousness, being tortured by a cousin he'd once looked up to like a big brother.
And a man who had killed his mother. He didn't believe for a minute that Alema had anything to do with Mara's death, but was pretty sure he was the only one in the galaxy to think that. And that was a pretty big secret to keep to himself.
So, yeah, he was twitchy and angry. But his father didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of it anymore. He took a deep breath, walked over to his father and sat down facing him. He ignored the ache in his joints when he did that--the medics had said they would hurt for weeks.
"I did the homework you and Mom gave me, you know," he said quietly.
Luke blinked. "What homework?"
It had been months ago, before Ben had gone to Fandom and met the man. "About Anakin Skywalker. The Emperor did horrible things to him--made him suspicious of his friends so they wouldn't be his friends. Made him kill younglings so no one would ever trust him again. Made him alone. Made him so no one else in the galaxy understood him except the Emperor. I bet that right before he became Darth Vader he hated the Emperor. But he didn't have anyone else."
He would ask him someday, if his grandfather didn't scare him so much. The holo Artoo had shown of Anakin going through the Temple on his spree had been burned into Ben's perfect memory from the time he was nine.
"I expect you're right," Luke said, nodding.
"So I figured it out," Ben said. "That's what Jacen was doing to me."
Luke's eyes lit up with comprehension. "That's exactly right."
"And if I'd killed him, I would've turned into Darth Vader," Ben concluded.
"Maybe. For a while."
"Maybe forever," Ben countered.
"Maybe." Luke shrugged, completely uncomfortable with this subject. Skywalkers had never been good on communicating the big feelings. "But if you understand that, if you remember it forever, you'll never turn into Darth Vader." His eyes focused out the window again. "I think you're probably smarter than my father."
Ben snorted. "That's not hard."
He had Luke's attention again. "Beg your pardon?"
Ben focused on his hands, folded on his knees. "He teaches at Fandom."
"Darth Vader teaches?"
"Anakin Skywalker teaches," Ben corrected. "A clone of him from after the second Death Star blew."
For a moment Luke was twenty years old again, begging his father not to die. It wasn't a pleasant memory. "What's he like?"
Ben was quiet for a moment. "Arrogant," he said finally. "Too sure of himself, incredibly quick to jump to conclusions. He doesn't really care about how many feelings he bruises to get his point across." He sighed. "But he normally does have a point. And the conclusions he jumps to are right. He didn't like Jacen from the beginning."
Luke tried to hide the hunger in his eyes. There was a chance to know the man. Or a version of him. Ask him questions... "I might have to meet him someday," he said.
"Someday," Ben echoed. It was now his turn to stare out the window. "I heard you sent Master Horn's son on a mission," he finally commented. "Even though you're friends with his dad."
"I have to forget those kinds of things when deciding who to send out on missions," Luke replied. "If I don't, I compromise the ethics of the Order and the trust the Knights and Masters have in me. I might even cause the downfall of the Order itself."
Ben was quiet for a moment. "Would you send me out on a mission where I could get killed?" he asked.
"I have before," Luke said quietly. "Centerpoint."
"You sent Jacen," Ben said. "I was just his apprentice. Would you send me, as a Jedi Knight?"
"That's a long time away," Luke hedged. "You've only just been appointed my apprentice."
Ben took a deep breath. "If you could kill Jacen or save Corran's son from the dark side, which would you choose?"
Luke was silent, trying to wait Ben out. But Ben was equally patient. He knew if he started talking again, his father could ignore the question, and he needed to hear the answer.
"Ben, I would kill Jacen," Luke said softly.
"So you gave me special consideration."
"Yes," Luke said, staring intently at his hands. "Speaking as the Grand Master, I shouldn't have."
Ben's heart plummeted. "So it makes me partially to blame that he's still out there," he said, voice sounding far too much like a little boy for his taste.
"No it doesn't."
"Yes, it does," Ben insisted. "And I'm not saying anything except...I don't want any special treatment. Not anymore. Not when there's anything important riding on it."
"You're right." He gave Ben a sidelong look. "You realize what a concession this is for me to give. How hard it is for me, as a father, to do."
Ben nodded.
"I want a concession from you. If you're ever in the same position you were on the Anakin Solo, with Jacen at your mercy, you take your shot only if you can do it without hate. No kidding yourself, no logical gymnastics. Without hate."
"Deal," Ben said, holding out his hand.
"I'm not quite finished," Luke said softly. "I also want you to talk with your grandfather about what happened."
Ben's jaw clenched.
"Ben, he knows what it's like," Luke continued. "He'll know what to do." And Luke wasn't feeling particularly equipped to lecture on the dark side right now, thanks to Jacen. He couldn't bear to lose another member of his family. He hoped any version of Anakin would understand that.
"So I'm going back?" Ben asked softly. "I thought I was getting treated like everyone else."
"You'll learn things from your grandfather I can't teach you," Luke said.
Ben bit back a scathing reply about how he already know how to kill space admirals and merely nodded. "When do I go back?"
"Tomorrow," Luke replied, shifting close enough to his son to brush shoulders. "For now, let's enjoy the quiet."
[OOC: Last post in the arc, yay! Some dialogue taken from Fury by Aaron "At Least I Have a Sense of Humor" Allston.]