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[momaca]

Alright, the reason that im putting this on there is in order to get an opinion to see if I should submit it to my school, unfortunely I am not able to see if the people that read it at my school are just too dumb to understand the point...or it really is that confusing. So...I leave it here for your opinon...technically I need to take off 400

Comments

Wow,,,

[foggyviews]

that was so...i dont want to say sad...in fact i cant even think of the word..it'll come to me later...anyways apart from maybe scare the crap out of your teachers i say go ahead and hand this in!

and on a side note...have you shown this to me before? it seems eerily familiar...

Re: Wow,,,

[momaca]

I didnt realize it when I posted it...but I posted it about a year ago...but if you can remember that long ago..then I seriously commend you

Re: Wow,,,

[foggyviews]

haha i knew it! it seemed REALLY familiar...and thank you...it doesnt seem like a year at all though...oh well it was still a good short story

yayy i found the comment box. it blended in with the page

[pinkcookiecloud]

but yeah. i already said i liked it but now i have critique! so yeah, well, i know you have to shorten it for the paper, but im going to give my advice anyway. i think you should make more of a reference to thier past, the forbidden love between them, kinda connecting to the projector. but you cant do that and shorten it. so i guess its kinda useless. i totally think you should submit it though.

Re: yayy i found the comment box. it blended in with the page

[momaca]

It isnt useless, it still is a good comment! I like teh idea...but your right..it would be hard to submit when I ADD words to it, actually thinking on it, I really like the idea of adding something about thier forbidden loves to it. It fits. I shall do it!

...but then ill have to have another version to submit..we shall see ♥