nine.

Feb 19, 2009 20:23



title: my turn to say goodbye
type: poetry
rating: pg
notes: this was written using "write or die" as recommended by ava_leigh_fitz

for Andrew.

your tapered legs still tangled in mine )

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Comments 13

aragons February 19 2009, 15:57:34 UTC
I really liked this. There's a very achy feeling to the poem, hardly a technical term but I think you get what I mean. The pacing is great, the line breaks work as part of the poem as opposed to just put in. I particularly liked the simile about the two kids with stolen apples, I thought that was a really lovely image.

It seems 'Write or Die' really worked for you!

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moleyneux February 19 2009, 15:59:43 UTC
It did work for me. Thank you for the reccomendation! And the kind words.

I havent written poetry in a long while. And I dont write about Andrew- ever. I feel stranglely light hearted after this.

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lilylines February 19 2009, 16:42:39 UTC
Oh. This is gorgeous. Really. You have some great images in here. I love the second and third stanzas. : )

But those last two line. Perfect. I love the idea of lonely legs. Great work, dear. <3

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moleyneux February 19 2009, 17:06:01 UTC
The third stanza is my favourite, too though the woman it depicts is noe.

Thank you so very much for reading and reviewin! I appreciate the feedback.

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martyr4mylove4u February 19 2009, 22:42:00 UTC
Painfully pretty.

Go write more.

Later will elaborate, busy now.

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moleyneux February 20 2009, 07:35:55 UTC
Thank you!

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ladymacbeth922 February 20 2009, 10:00:01 UTC
I found this quite lovely. The tone is well expressed and I like the imagery. Lady Bracknell, dark skin against white- you did a good job setting the mood.

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moleyneux February 20 2009, 11:06:30 UTC
Merci!

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vinniebolzano February 22 2009, 09:17:16 UTC
awww
may be its just the hormones but im betting its you!

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moleyneux February 22 2009, 11:54:14 UTC
Darling. Your icon is giving me so many feelings.

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vinniebolzano February 22 2009, 17:01:27 UTC
I KNW!! i love the way u GET things! that was the moment i started shipping brennan and booth! *heart them*

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vinniebolzano February 22 2009, 17:01:54 UTC
consider it a prompt!

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