Title: Camping
Category: X-Factor
Characters: Rictor and Shatterstar
Genre: Fluff/smut
Rated: NC-17
Disclaimer: X-Factor and the boys are owned by Marvel
Summary: X-Factor take a trip out to a Cabin for a camping trip as a way to bring the team closer together. Rictor does a little late night wandering and Shatterstar soon joins him.
AN: I don't know a
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Comments 15
What I like about these two and what I enjoyed in your story, is how they meet in the middle with their persepectives. They take turns drawing each other out and grounding the other when needed.
Plus, this was sexy as hell. Do write more.
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It's good to hear that you enjoyed it. It's a bit nerve wracking posting for the first time.
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I liked this, particularly the imagery with Ric and the Earth and the feeling of loss, and Star distracting him with sex. Because really, happy sex hormones are probably going to be a lot more use in drawing him out of his funk than anything anyone could possibly say.
You might want to check your Spanish, though. Mine's gone rusty but I believe 'usted' is pretty formal, and not what I'd expect them saying to each other. Might be a local thing, of course, weird in Spain (which is the Spanish I once knew) but perfectly normal in Mexico. Ustedes at any rate is plural, so that does sound odd.
You also have this tendency to tell the story in past tense and switch to present when describing sex, but I can't really fault you for that because I do the exact same thing. It just flows so much better that way, don't you think? XD
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Oh I don't know a word of Spanish, you can blame Google Translate for that haha (I'll put a little disclaimer up the top now that you mention it)
Yeah, you're exactly right with my tenses, I haven't written anything that wasn't a script (they're written in present tense) in so long that it's kind of hard to break the habit. And I may be getting caught up in the moment a little...:P
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I'd advise against automatic translations, personally, it gets so strange for those who speak the language in question. I believe there are several Spanish speakers in the comm, though, I'm sure one of them could be persuaded to translate for you in the future :)
I have this pretty long fic written out but it does tense jumps and I can't let it out from under my wing until I've made up my mind what I want it to be. Oh, the decisions.
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I would have waited with mine but...I was kinda excited that I'd actually written something and just wanted to get it out there XD
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