Fic - Tankless
Title: Tankless
Warnings: crack, comedy
Continuity: G1 (part of ultharkitty’s Dysfunction AU)
Characters/Pairings: Onslaught, Vortex, Swindle, Blast Off, mentions of Brawl
Rating: PG
Summary: Vortex and Swindle lost Brawl…
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing.
Prompt: Getting Lost
Beta: ultharkitty :D
Note: Nothing here, just have fun reading. ;)
Tankless
Onslaught stared at Vortex and Swindle. To say he was speechless wouldn’t be true. He knew lots of things to say, he was just too baffled to actually express them, and so he only asked again.
“You did what?”
Swindle shifted uncomfortably, and Vortex also showed some degree of unease. It was the ‘copter who finally answered.
“Uhm, we kinda… lost Brawl.”
Onslaught shook his head in disbelief. “How can you lose Brawl? He’s a fraggin’ loud, obnoxious tank…” And stupid, but this couldn’t be the reason; not this time.
Swindle and Vortex looked at each other, and Onslaught was surprised that they didn’t try to blame one another. There had to be something wrong.
“I demand an explanation. Now!” He knew that Brawl was still alive, the bond told him so, but the signal was weak, as though the tank was far away or unconscious. And if Brawl was unconscious, it indicated that something else went wrong on the mission.
“There were Autobots…” Vortex began.
“…lots of Autobots,” and Swindle continued.
“Flyers. Autobot flyers.”
“Yeah, Aerialbots… and Skyfire. You know, that big guy, ex of Starscream…”
“I know Skyfire.”
Defensively, Swindle raised his hands. “Just wanted to make sure…”
Onslaught growled. He had worked on the plan for a long time. He had calculated everything that could go wrong, including the ‘limitations’ of his subordinates; including even the abilities of the Autobot flyers…
“So, you two are telling me that you lost against some kids?”
“We didn’t lose!” Vortex explained. “We finished the mission quite well…”
“Exactly. We brought that… thing, you know, that crystal thingy to the Nemesis already.” Swindle nodded and sounded quite proud.
Well, at least Swindle hadn’t kept the crystal to himself, and he and Vortex hadn’t killed each other. Maybe there was hope for this team, Onslaught thought, before the ‘copter added.
“Well, we didn’t lose. We just lost Brawl.”
“Vector Sigma…” Onslaught rubbed his temple, and without saying anything further, he walked to the control room. He didn’t care about the other two any longer, and ignored them when they followed him and stopped in the door frame as he headed to the control console.
“Onslaught to Blast Off, do you read me?” The communication link crackled for a few seconds.
“I read you.” The shuttle’s voice was blank as always, and Onslaught truly hoped, he wasn’t in one of his ‘moods’.
“I have new orders for you: Look for Brawl. And notify me when you find him.”
Another few seconds of static.
“Uh… Onslaught, I don’t question your orders, this is the last thing I would do, but you do know that, even there exist bigger planets, this one is not small. Might you be able to specify the place where I need to look for him?”
Onslaught gave Vortex and Swindle a glance, and both shrugged clueless.
“Unfortunately, I can not. Swindle and Vortex lost him…”
“They lost Brawl…?” It was not often that Blast Off showed his emotions in his voice, this time, however, he did and it was open surprise. “How? …and where?”
“If they knew where they lost him, I wouldn’t need you to search for him, would I?”
“Of course…” The surprise was gone and left Blast Off’s voice plain again. “In a few kliks I will be out of communication range. I’m going to start searching as soon as I reach the American continent again.”
The shuttle didn’t wait for a reply and cut the link; not that Onslaught had much to say to this anyway.
While Blast Off floated over the atmosphere at the other end of the world, he could use the time to discipline the other two members of his team. He turned and glared at them.
“Very well…”
***
Seven hours later, Swindle was in the brig, and Vortex sat in front of the console in the control room. He was forbidden to leave the room until Blast Off reported, because he might be useful to rescue or collect Brawl - only to be thrown in the brig afterwards.
“Blast Off to Onslaught.”
The Combaticon commander looked up from his datapad, and frowned. Blast Off couldn’t already have found the missing team member; he was hardly back in communication range and clearly not over the American continent.
“Report.”
“I have located Brawl.”
Onslaught’s optics flickered, and he glanced at Vortex, who repeated his clueless shrug from a few hours ago.
“Come again.”
“… I found Brawl.” The shuttle’s tone was snooty this time. “He said his thrusters are malfunctioning, and he is unable to activate his long range communication. I contacted him with the use of an Earth’s satellite.”
“Long range communication?” Onslaught was confused, and so was Vortex.
“Is your communication equipment glitching as well? Yes, his long range communication, for Sigma’s sake. Further he said Swindle and Vortex convinced him to try ‘jet judo’ on the Autobot flyers. I remember this being some sort of Autobot ground bound mechs’ fighting method particularly used on seekers. Brawl tried it on Skyfire.”
Clenching his fists, Onslaught stared at Vortex, who laughed sheepishly.
“Where is he?” The commander wanted to know.
“I send the coordinates. He is in Madagascar.”
Onslaughts optics widened, still looking at the ‘copter. Maybe, the brig wasn’t punishment enough…
Also posted here
Warnings: crack, comedy
Continuity: G1 (part of ultharkitty’s Dysfunction AU)
Characters/Pairings: Onslaught, Vortex, Swindle, Blast Off, mentions of Brawl
Rating: PG
Summary: Vortex and Swindle lost Brawl…
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing.
Prompt: Getting Lost
Beta: ultharkitty :D
Note: Nothing here, just have fun reading. ;)
Tankless
Onslaught stared at Vortex and Swindle. To say he was speechless wouldn’t be true. He knew lots of things to say, he was just too baffled to actually express them, and so he only asked again.
“You did what?”
Swindle shifted uncomfortably, and Vortex also showed some degree of unease. It was the ‘copter who finally answered.
“Uhm, we kinda… lost Brawl.”
Onslaught shook his head in disbelief. “How can you lose Brawl? He’s a fraggin’ loud, obnoxious tank…” And stupid, but this couldn’t be the reason; not this time.
Swindle and Vortex looked at each other, and Onslaught was surprised that they didn’t try to blame one another. There had to be something wrong.
“I demand an explanation. Now!” He knew that Brawl was still alive, the bond told him so, but the signal was weak, as though the tank was far away or unconscious. And if Brawl was unconscious, it indicated that something else went wrong on the mission.
“There were Autobots…” Vortex began.
“…lots of Autobots,” and Swindle continued.
“Flyers. Autobot flyers.”
“Yeah, Aerialbots… and Skyfire. You know, that big guy, ex of Starscream…”
“I know Skyfire.”
Defensively, Swindle raised his hands. “Just wanted to make sure…”
Onslaught growled. He had worked on the plan for a long time. He had calculated everything that could go wrong, including the ‘limitations’ of his subordinates; including even the abilities of the Autobot flyers…
“So, you two are telling me that you lost against some kids?”
“We didn’t lose!” Vortex explained. “We finished the mission quite well…”
“Exactly. We brought that… thing, you know, that crystal thingy to the Nemesis already.” Swindle nodded and sounded quite proud.
Well, at least Swindle hadn’t kept the crystal to himself, and he and Vortex hadn’t killed each other. Maybe there was hope for this team, Onslaught thought, before the ‘copter added.
“Well, we didn’t lose. We just lost Brawl.”
“Vector Sigma…” Onslaught rubbed his temple, and without saying anything further, he walked to the control room. He didn’t care about the other two any longer, and ignored them when they followed him and stopped in the door frame as he headed to the control console.
“Onslaught to Blast Off, do you read me?” The communication link crackled for a few seconds.
“I read you.” The shuttle’s voice was blank as always, and Onslaught truly hoped, he wasn’t in one of his ‘moods’.
“I have new orders for you: Look for Brawl. And notify me when you find him.”
Another few seconds of static.
“Uh… Onslaught, I don’t question your orders, this is the last thing I would do, but you do know that, even there exist bigger planets, this one is not small. Might you be able to specify the place where I need to look for him?”
Onslaught gave Vortex and Swindle a glance, and both shrugged clueless.
“Unfortunately, I can not. Swindle and Vortex lost him…”
“They lost Brawl…?” It was not often that Blast Off showed his emotions in his voice, this time, however, he did and it was open surprise. “How? …and where?”
“If they knew where they lost him, I wouldn’t need you to search for him, would I?”
“Of course…” The surprise was gone and left Blast Off’s voice plain again. “In a few kliks I will be out of communication range. I’m going to start searching as soon as I reach the American continent again.”
The shuttle didn’t wait for a reply and cut the link; not that Onslaught had much to say to this anyway.
While Blast Off floated over the atmosphere at the other end of the world, he could use the time to discipline the other two members of his team. He turned and glared at them.
“Very well…”
***
Seven hours later, Swindle was in the brig, and Vortex sat in front of the console in the control room. He was forbidden to leave the room until Blast Off reported, because he might be useful to rescue or collect Brawl - only to be thrown in the brig afterwards.
“Blast Off to Onslaught.”
The Combaticon commander looked up from his datapad, and frowned. Blast Off couldn’t already have found the missing team member; he was hardly back in communication range and clearly not over the American continent.
“Report.”
“I have located Brawl.”
Onslaught’s optics flickered, and he glanced at Vortex, who repeated his clueless shrug from a few hours ago.
“Come again.”
“… I found Brawl.” The shuttle’s tone was snooty this time. “He said his thrusters are malfunctioning, and he is unable to activate his long range communication. I contacted him with the use of an Earth’s satellite.”
“Long range communication?” Onslaught was confused, and so was Vortex.
“Is your communication equipment glitching as well? Yes, his long range communication, for Sigma’s sake. Further he said Swindle and Vortex convinced him to try ‘jet judo’ on the Autobot flyers. I remember this being some sort of Autobot ground bound mechs’ fighting method particularly used on seekers. Brawl tried it on Skyfire.”
Clenching his fists, Onslaught stared at Vortex, who laughed sheepishly.
“Where is he?” The commander wanted to know.
“I send the coordinates. He is in Madagascar.”
Onslaughts optics widened, still looking at the ‘copter. Maybe, the brig wasn’t punishment enough…
Also posted here