Comments | mmouse15: Story: Prayer 2

mmouse15

Story: Prayer 2

Dec 31, 2008 15:53

Title: St. Francis Prayer 2
By: mmouse15
Rating: PG
Warnings: implied intimacy, slash

( Where there is injury, pardon )

prayer of st francis series, prowl, jazz, fanfiction

Comments 11

vejiraziel January 1 2009, 06:04:45 UTC

Ohh, I absolutely loved this one, especially because it shows a different side of Jazz. One that's a bit too cocky that can put a dent to his good intentions.

Not to mention those small moments where you see Prowl there looking after his mate, and worrying when something's not going right.

mmouse15 January 2 2009, 05:07:57 UTC

I've know Jazz characters, and that confidence that can help them pull off miracles also gets them into trouble.

Prowl's deeply concerned right then, as any of us would be in a similar situation. It's so easy to write his concern given what I've done to Jazz.

tessombra January 1 2009, 16:25:08 UTC

Nice detail here, and not just in the relationship story--everyone seems to miss the fact that sentient computers can just transmit data to one another.

From the fact that it had to be Prime to force a hole in the wall between them where they HAD to see the truth of one another, to finally admitting there's more than a bot that 'gets' to them, its the gradual progression that makes one suspend their belief until the next moment, the next step.

To the next...

mmouse15 January 2 2009, 05:10:36 UTC

I'm glad you liked it.

Somebot had to force those two to get along, or they were going to divide the officers corps and Prime would have a mess on his hands. I'm glad you enjoyed the progression so far.

dark_daebereth January 1 2009, 16:53:10 UTC

Adding in agreement, that is definitely a different side to the Jazz we usually see, and its intriguing to see. The continued narrative of their past, but from a third person without any of the couple's bias, and still being able to see Prowl there, worrying about Jazz... *flails* <3

mmouse15 January 2 2009, 05:12:07 UTC

*pats* Jazz really can't be perfect, he's got to slag up sometime. I'm glad you liked it.

Hey, somebody's got to worry about Jazz.

tainry January 3 2009, 01:44:50 UTC

Oh lord, Wheeljack = the Weasley Twins! LOL!

Enjoying these, thank goodness for the Cybertronian! <3

mmouse15 January 3 2009, 05:17:27 UTC

I never thought of that, but yes! Fred and George would have a lot in common with Wheeljack, wouldn't they?

Oh, I'm glad you found them through the newsletter. That's good to hear.

tainry January 3 2009, 05:38:50 UTC

Heee!!! Clear the decks!

Yanno, I thought I had friended you yonks ago...but apparently not! O.O So now I have, and hopefully won't miss any more of your delightful and thoughtful offerings. <3333

ex_naggingf January 14 2009, 00:24:53 UTC

Oh, this is good! I like the slow pace of the story; how a story should be told ^_^ (to get all the juicy details!)

mmouse15 January 14 2009, 05:34:10 UTC

That's why I do so well at multi-part challenges. I can tell a long story and a short story at the same time, and I love to pace things out that way. I'm glad you like it, too!