Comments | mme_moonpie: Yeah, more half-formed thoughts come out my mouth

mme_moonpie

Yeah, more half-formed thoughts come out my mouth

Apr 17, 2007 14:05

"As a culture we are formed to be on the lookout for the spectacular and for the famous. And so we can miss what really matters. We can get caught up in spiritual heroics, all the while failing to tend the fabric of our daily human relationships." --Mary C. Earle

I'm thinking about "daily human relationships" and how they really matter; and, of ( Read more... )

diversity, philosophy, parenting, culture, academia, relationships, self, childhood

Comments 7

mymouth April 17 2007, 20:35:09 UTC

It is amazing how other people can affect us, isn't it? Just as I can remember a few cruel things that have been said to me in my life, I can remember unexpected warm fuzzies too. I wouldn't beat yourself up over people you haven't welcomed as much as you think you should have. That cold shoulder could have helped that person evaluate and work on his social interactions and how to work on them just as it has for you. Not to mention that none of us ever get everything right the first time. And I really admire what you're saying here ( ... )

mme_moonpie April 17 2007, 20:44:36 UTC

Good food for thought.
One reinforcement: "...flaws and weirdnesses are so much more interesting." Of course! Why do you think I love and have loved the people I do!? ;-)
One clarification: "...big difference between being kind and generally respectful of people and having to be bosom pals...." I didn't mean to say that we should be bosom pals with everyone we meet -- I was trying to get at the kind and respectful part, more like listening carefully for a moment when someone different approaches us, rather than giving that look and that wide berth and passing on by.

mymouth April 17 2007, 21:02:35 UTC

Very true. Sometimes I'll end up at my voice lesson in sweats, looking like quite the schlub, and know that as soon as I start singing I will sound completely differently than I'm dressed. It's sort an alter ego, these hidden traits that people can't perceive immediately.

I am Carmen in pajamas!!! Back, or I shall shatter all your glasses! ;)

mme_moonpie April 17 2007, 21:25:04 UTC

LOL!

ninomit_arol April 18 2007, 05:23:15 UTC

i know exactly what you are saying, and yet i don't know that we should try to be connected to everyone. i have distinct and unpleasent memories of being more accepting, as i was raised. and then being saddled with a relationship i didn't really want. because the undeveloped person latched on not knowing it was just good manners on my part. and then the eventual rejection would be worse.

i think that as human beings we need a distance, need to compartmentalize our relationships, to stay sane and not overextend. tribe / not-tribe.

its like the first chapter or two of _little altars everywhere_.

it hurts you when you recognize you are doing it. but it doesn't mean that you should or will stop. maybe the internal anguish just lets you try harder the next time.

and you can hope the person isn't so unbalanced to come after you for some slight real or imagined.

capn_caveman April 19 2007, 07:07:51 UTC

I admire the heart of the sentiment but (and I too am possibly letting the 'recent events' color my response) I'm not sure I entirely agree ( ... )

runemystic April 20 2007, 03:03:05 UTC

I'm thinking of my job as a restaurant manager, and the effect i may have on people. I see the same people come to my store 3-4 times a week. Some people twice a day. Sorry, but Bob Evans just isn't that great. Then again, they dont really come for the food. They come because they are noticed. All of my servers know these people by name. We have all learned thier order. You can see a noticable difference in these people as the servers react to thier presence. The flip side of this, is the customer who gets angry and frustrated by NOT getting the same warm welcome.
I'm not sure where I was going with this. It was just an interesting observation