"Savior" and what it means to me
Ok, this is excerpts from an email conversation with celeste_506. Meant to save this for myself months ago. It's the day I realized what "Savior" means to me. Stuff in purple was added as I type this in.
From 03/16/06. Red text is me. Black is Celeste...
Yes, 7:30. Horrible in terms of coming in so late. Having a hell of a time getting up in the morning. That sort of thing. And the evenings just seem to get away from me.
It's funny, but you got worse after you thought about that book [about procrastination]. *g* You got a little rebel streak in you or something?
YES!! That's why dieting advice, getting organized advice, time management advice can actually backfire. Little kid going "I don't wanna".
Brat! So it's not the function so much as the advice people feel compelled to give you? You don't like being told what to do when it involves, well, you.
Don't know how to explain it. The same piece of advice can be welcomed or rejected depending on my perspective at the moment. If I'm actually trying to diet, and the advice is helpful, I'm thankful for the advice. If I'm not currently dieting, the advice makes me feel guilty and the little spoiled brat comes out. Not that I'd dish the advice aloud, just internally.
That makes sense. If you're dieting, it's more of a welcome suggestion. If you're not dieting, it's just unsolicited advice.
Even if it is offered with the best intentions.
*****
So how do you eventually jump start yourself with something like those things? Because they are all positives for your life, not onerous negatives. What's the defining thing that gets you to decide, on your own and on your own terms, the time is now?
With the diet, usually I scare myself. Actually that works for time management as well. If I'm worried about being on time, I sometimes way way over compensate. Cleaning and getting organized is usually feeling inspired or can't stand the clutter, or it's the last bloody moment I can possibly start the task. *g*
Dieting, quitting smoking, getting the nerve up to get into or out of a bad relationship are all personal things and the only one who can come to the conclusion it's time is you. Cause you have to do it for yourself, not because someone told you to!
I'm neurotic, aren't I? Instead of just doing something, I angst and procrastinate.
Doesn't make you any different than a whole lot of people out there.
Until you crash
Until you burn
Until you lie
Until you learn
Until you see
Until you believe
Until you fight
Until you fall
Until the end of everything at all
Until you die
Until you're alive
Don't save me, don't save me, cuz I don't care
Don't save me, don't save me, cuz
I don't care
Until you give
Until you've used
Until you've lost
Until you lose
Until you see, how could you believe?
Until you've lived a thousand times
Until you've seen the other side
This is my chance, this is my chance
Don't save me, don't save me, cuz I don't care
Don't save me, don't save me, cuz
I don't care
Until the truth becomes a lie
Until you change, until you deny
Until you believe
This is my chance, this is my chance
I'll take it now because I can
This is my chance, I want it now
Don't save me, don't save me, cuz I don't care
Don't save me, don't save me, cuz
I don't care
Save me, save me, save me
Save me, save me, save me
I don't care
Guess who sings that? *g* It's called Savior. You know, that just hit me. Been listening to that how long?
Gosh, that's a tough one!
LOL. Hey, I was impressed. The meaning of that song just jumped to crystal clarity.