{fic} Can’t Smile Without You
Can’t Smile Without You
Author : mizuno_hikaru
Pairing : Akame
Rating : PG15
Beta :piperr0919
Summary : If you only knew what I'm going through… I just can't smile without you
A/N : Self-celebration. Inspired from ‘Can’t Smile Without You’ by Barry Manilow.
It’s always the same song. Same cheesy oldies with it’s swing beats. Sappy lame lyrics, you always laughed, but you would still hum the tunes with a genuine smile plastered on your face. It was always the same song, always. It’s once a famous oldies, and people recognized the song as one of the greatest love songs ever.
I remembered the first night we heard the song-it was in your house; your mother was fond of western songs and she owned the song on one of her CDs. That night we were spending the time together in your living room; clad in cotton pyjamas as I planned to sleep over, my bangs tied up in a fountain style-we are fourteen and sixteen, young and curious.
Your parents were out of town, along with your younger brother, leaving us all alone. So we ordered pizza and drank too much coke, partied the night and decided to act wild. Fifth track, you said as you inserted the CD to the player, My mom loves the song so much.
The opening was classical, with jazzy beats and both of us laughed together. Yeah, it’s so lame, I agreed with your statement and made some oldies signatures, pretending to sing with a fake standing mike. You clapped your hands in amusement and joined my acts, singing the first verse of the song together.
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you…
It’s always the same song. The song we used for our first dance; your hands placed awkwardly on my waist, mine around your neck, both of us giggled together as we tried to avoid stomping on each other’s feet. And we just danced clumsily like that, our breaths mixed into one, our cheeks brushing slightly and you buried your face in the crook of my neck.
You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away
Stupid, but it’s always the same song. I remembered once, I dragged you to the CD store with me, it was a warm evening after our practice hours. We entered the store and you whined as you were hungry, tugging at my sleeves and asking me : Kazuuuuu, what the heck are you planning to buy ?
I dragged you to the shelves, ignoring the popular pop CDs, passing the other section to rush to the western section. Kazuuu, you whined once more and I replied, Help me to find it, baka…!
What ? You asked me, and I smiled, The song. Our fifth track.
Can’t Smile Without You.
Eh ?
It’s Can’t Smile Without You. By Barry Manilow, you explained. You picked a CD from the shelf and gave it to me; it was the same CD as your mother’s. Fifth track, our song.
My heart was beating so fast at that moment, overjoyed with the word ‘our’ which you used to refer to the song. I smiled, Thank you. And you smiled back, ruffled my hair and dragged me to the cashier. Hurry up, I’m hungry…!
And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
And it’s always the same song, ne ? We sang the song over and over, harmonized our voices together and our fingers tangled together. Repeated the melancholy lyrics verse after verse, hit some notes using ridiculous high pitches, pretending that we were some opera singers.
Another sleepover, once again at your place-since we would never get enough space and privacy at my cramped house. We played the CD I bought that evening. Silly, since your mom owned the copy of the CD, but I insisted to use mine. Fifth track, and the familiar tune filled your room with it’s jazzy music.
I can’t smile without you, you mouthed, and I laughed. We repeated the dance, I tied the blanket around my waist as I took the female role and pretended to be a lady with a long wide gown from the 80s movies. You took my hand and we danced in circles, following the rhythms.
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile
It’s the same song, always the same song. The song we remembered as ‘the fifth track’, which turned to be the famous Barry Manilow’s song : Can’t Smile Without You. Our eyes met and you hesitated for a second, leaned down to me and I closed my eyes-our lips met, soft and sweet. You nipped my lips several times before deepening your kiss, devouring me in a possessive manner. Your fingers ran through my hair, your arms on my back, mine on your shoulders. The song echoed in the background, cheesy and sappy, but I never felt that happy before. I just can’t smile without you…
Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me
And you see I can't smile without you
Ah, it’s always the same song. Always. We were listening to the song that bloody night. I broke the CD into two, on the night you told me that you’ll leave to LA. We argued, and I cried-I took the CD from my player and held it in anger. You can smile without me now, right ? and CLASH !! I snapped the CD into two, merely throwing the pieces to the ground. You didn’t say anything at that moment, your eyes stared at the pieces of the CD. The music was gone and it was a pure, tormenting silence.
The days without you were hell, pure hell with agonizing pain. Everyone realized that I buried myself into my work, kept myself busy and I barely smiled. It’s stupid, it’s childish, it’s sappy and it’s lame... but I cried again that night, trying to fix the CD… realizing the cruel fact : I can’t smile without you…
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
It’s always the same song. Always that song, our fifth track. It was my 21th birthday and you weren’t there beside me. I thanked all the people who celebrated my day, but honestly it felt weird-since I couldn’t meet you that day.
I went home, and the phone rang. Hello ? but there wasn’t any reply except a familiar melody on the line. I recognized your voice, I recognized the guitar, and I recognized the song. Our song. Can’t Smile Without You. Barry Manilow. Our fifth track.
You sang the song beautifully, and I cried; my tears fell down endlessly. Happy 21th birthday, you whispered, and I knew I had forgiven you at that very moment. I still love you, so much, and it was true : I just can’t smile without you.
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you
“ Kazuya “
You were here, you have come back to my side and you smiled. You put the CD into the player, the CD you bought for me right after you came back-it’s another copy you searched hard for me since it wasn’t produced anymore. Fifth track and the song was played : it’s always the same song.
You put your hands around my waist, mine were around your neck, our bodies pressed together as we danced. Moving in circles, following the rhythms, your face buried in the crook of my neck. It’s always the same song; and it’s stupid, it’s childish, it’s sappy, it’s lame… and it’s one of the most beautiful songs; it’s one of the greatest love songs. Our song. Our fifth song.
“ I can’t smile without you… “ You mouthed, and I hugged you tighter, “ I know “
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you…
-end-
Author : mizuno_hikaru
Pairing : Akame
Rating : PG15
Beta :piperr0919
Summary : If you only knew what I'm going through… I just can't smile without you
A/N : Self-celebration. Inspired from ‘Can’t Smile Without You’ by Barry Manilow.
It’s always the same song. Same cheesy oldies with it’s swing beats. Sappy lame lyrics, you always laughed, but you would still hum the tunes with a genuine smile plastered on your face. It was always the same song, always. It’s once a famous oldies, and people recognized the song as one of the greatest love songs ever.
I remembered the first night we heard the song-it was in your house; your mother was fond of western songs and she owned the song on one of her CDs. That night we were spending the time together in your living room; clad in cotton pyjamas as I planned to sleep over, my bangs tied up in a fountain style-we are fourteen and sixteen, young and curious.
Your parents were out of town, along with your younger brother, leaving us all alone. So we ordered pizza and drank too much coke, partied the night and decided to act wild. Fifth track, you said as you inserted the CD to the player, My mom loves the song so much.
The opening was classical, with jazzy beats and both of us laughed together. Yeah, it’s so lame, I agreed with your statement and made some oldies signatures, pretending to sing with a fake standing mike. You clapped your hands in amusement and joined my acts, singing the first verse of the song together.
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you…
It’s always the same song. The song we used for our first dance; your hands placed awkwardly on my waist, mine around your neck, both of us giggled together as we tried to avoid stomping on each other’s feet. And we just danced clumsily like that, our breaths mixed into one, our cheeks brushing slightly and you buried your face in the crook of my neck.
You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away
Stupid, but it’s always the same song. I remembered once, I dragged you to the CD store with me, it was a warm evening after our practice hours. We entered the store and you whined as you were hungry, tugging at my sleeves and asking me : Kazuuuuu, what the heck are you planning to buy ?
I dragged you to the shelves, ignoring the popular pop CDs, passing the other section to rush to the western section. Kazuuu, you whined once more and I replied, Help me to find it, baka…!
What ? You asked me, and I smiled, The song. Our fifth track.
Can’t Smile Without You.
Eh ?
It’s Can’t Smile Without You. By Barry Manilow, you explained. You picked a CD from the shelf and gave it to me; it was the same CD as your mother’s. Fifth track, our song.
My heart was beating so fast at that moment, overjoyed with the word ‘our’ which you used to refer to the song. I smiled, Thank you. And you smiled back, ruffled my hair and dragged me to the cashier. Hurry up, I’m hungry…!
And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
And it’s always the same song, ne ? We sang the song over and over, harmonized our voices together and our fingers tangled together. Repeated the melancholy lyrics verse after verse, hit some notes using ridiculous high pitches, pretending that we were some opera singers.
Another sleepover, once again at your place-since we would never get enough space and privacy at my cramped house. We played the CD I bought that evening. Silly, since your mom owned the copy of the CD, but I insisted to use mine. Fifth track, and the familiar tune filled your room with it’s jazzy music.
I can’t smile without you, you mouthed, and I laughed. We repeated the dance, I tied the blanket around my waist as I took the female role and pretended to be a lady with a long wide gown from the 80s movies. You took my hand and we danced in circles, following the rhythms.
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile
It’s the same song, always the same song. The song we remembered as ‘the fifth track’, which turned to be the famous Barry Manilow’s song : Can’t Smile Without You. Our eyes met and you hesitated for a second, leaned down to me and I closed my eyes-our lips met, soft and sweet. You nipped my lips several times before deepening your kiss, devouring me in a possessive manner. Your fingers ran through my hair, your arms on my back, mine on your shoulders. The song echoed in the background, cheesy and sappy, but I never felt that happy before. I just can’t smile without you…
Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me
And you see I can't smile without you
Ah, it’s always the same song. Always. We were listening to the song that bloody night. I broke the CD into two, on the night you told me that you’ll leave to LA. We argued, and I cried-I took the CD from my player and held it in anger. You can smile without me now, right ? and CLASH !! I snapped the CD into two, merely throwing the pieces to the ground. You didn’t say anything at that moment, your eyes stared at the pieces of the CD. The music was gone and it was a pure, tormenting silence.
The days without you were hell, pure hell with agonizing pain. Everyone realized that I buried myself into my work, kept myself busy and I barely smiled. It’s stupid, it’s childish, it’s sappy and it’s lame... but I cried again that night, trying to fix the CD… realizing the cruel fact : I can’t smile without you…
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
It’s always the same song. Always that song, our fifth track. It was my 21th birthday and you weren’t there beside me. I thanked all the people who celebrated my day, but honestly it felt weird-since I couldn’t meet you that day.
I went home, and the phone rang. Hello ? but there wasn’t any reply except a familiar melody on the line. I recognized your voice, I recognized the guitar, and I recognized the song. Our song. Can’t Smile Without You. Barry Manilow. Our fifth track.
You sang the song beautifully, and I cried; my tears fell down endlessly. Happy 21th birthday, you whispered, and I knew I had forgiven you at that very moment. I still love you, so much, and it was true : I just can’t smile without you.
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you
“ Kazuya “
You were here, you have come back to my side and you smiled. You put the CD into the player, the CD you bought for me right after you came back-it’s another copy you searched hard for me since it wasn’t produced anymore. Fifth track and the song was played : it’s always the same song.
You put your hands around my waist, mine were around your neck, our bodies pressed together as we danced. Moving in circles, following the rhythms, your face buried in the crook of my neck. It’s always the same song; and it’s stupid, it’s childish, it’s sappy, it’s lame… and it’s one of the most beautiful songs; it’s one of the greatest love songs. Our song. Our fifth song.
“ I can’t smile without you… “ You mouthed, and I hugged you tighter, “ I know “
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you…
-end-