[one shot] Void
Void
Author : mizuno_hikaru
Pairing : Akame
Rating : NC17
Summary : Kamenashi Kazuya wished that he wasn’t an idol. He paid a high price when he woke up the next morning, found his wish came true.
Disclaimer : I won’t spend my time like this if I owned them XDXD
Warning : Un-betaed. Angst, but no character death.
A/N : well, even I didn’t know why I wrote this fic. Maybe the darkness inside me was trying its best to leaking out. LOLZ.
It was a heated night.
Distinct voices faded away, the scent of alcohol mixed in the air along with sweats and perfume. Whispering sounds, muffled moans, and no one cares. The crowd went wilder as they keep grinding each other hips, shaked their body along the rhythm and enjoyed the moments of fake butterfly’s warmth touched their bare skins.
His head felt light; his breath hitched and everything was a big blur. The only consciousness he own is only to dance. Dance. Even it takes forever until the world end. So he moved his limbs, done his steps perfectly and followed his primitive instinct to surrendered himself to the beats.
He was drunk.
A single drop of alcohol never touched his lips; but he was deadly drunk. He was drunk from pain, sorrow and broken-hearted; anxiety poisoned his mind, as he drowned into a giddy state of trance.
Enough.
I’m tired. I’ve fed up. I’m sick of this.
Enough…
But there wasn’t any ‘enough’ for him. He was shattered into pieces and totally clueless about the whole fixing things. They said the wound will recover as time goes by, but it isn’t.
Because he was no anybody.
He was somebody.
The fact left a mark on him; a curse, gyves on his feet, a solid metal chain which tied him down to a golden cage.
He was famous.
He was an idol.
And that’s why the one he loves got ripped from his side and sent to LA for those bloody six months.
“ YOU, don’t ever dream that your relationship will be accepted. You two are idols. Face the reality “
“ Kame, Jin said that he will go to LA. They said that he might never come back “
“ …Jin said that the whole plan is his dream. So why he acted like a prisoner sent to his execution ? “
He remembered the last night before he went. A sloppy kiss, bitter and painful…yet gentle and breath-taking one. Caress on his skin, warm breath, lucid orbs with almond-shapped frame…
Those ghostly fingers wiped his tears away, “ I love you. I love you for ever and forever, in every single day of tomorrow “
But there’s no ‘Wait for me. I’ll be back’.
The music ended, the crowds cheering, but he didn’t react like the other. He sat on his seat and finished another glass of vodka.
When his lover came back, he found no one except a total stranger. A stranger who acted so awkward with him, called him Kamenashi with a total façade and poker face.
They managed to fix their relationship, but it never be the same anymore.
He felt that he want to puke.
“ I wish that we weren’t idols “ He whispered, “ …I wish that I wasn’t an idol “
…and the rest is black.
Dark black.
***
They lied on the grass, side by side. Their fingers tangled together; the sun shines brightly on the blue sky as the cicadas cry noisily under the basking heat of summer. The winds blows occasionally, but they didn’t mutter a word at all.
They didn’t need words…
The slight touches on their fingertips are more than enough.
The latter suddenly moved, hovering above him-buried him under the shadow. Kazuya touched the latter’s cheek; the bare skin felt hot and fiery, like the sun.
“ What is it ? “
“ I wanted to have wings “
“ Why ? “
“ Because I don’t have them “
Why do people always yearn for something they didn’t own ?
Why do people only desire the things they cannot have…?
People sure are greedy.
They wished for wings, so they could fly like a bird.
They wished for gill and fins, so they could breathe underwater like a fish.
People are just stupid…
But that’s why they dreamt and pursue the dream into reality.
“ I wanted wings “ Jin’s deep voice penetrated him; husky and irresistible, “ …the wings that I could never have “
...but it's a secret.
Because both of them knew the little secret : the wings are actually the recognition from the world of their love-the forbidden, impossible love.
Kazuya closed his eyes.
“ I wish that we weren’t idols. I wish that I wasn’t an idol “
I’ll trade anything for it.
Anything.
Anything…
***
His eyes snapped open as a cold finger touched his nape. His bed felt so warm and comfortable, the sun was radiated its warmth into the very inch of the room. The nostalgic memories of dried-hanged clothes at the backyard lingered in his thought as the air brought the scent of flowers and soap, mixed with fresh taste of light.
He was sure that he felt a touch on his nape, but in reality he was alone. No one else beside him stayed in the room. He felt dizzy, as his previous strange dream of him being an idol made him chuckled.
“ Stupid dream “
He dreamt that he was an idol, along with-. With who ? He barely remembered the latter, but he knew that somebody was a special person for him. But it was all a mere dream.
Kamenashi Kazuya, 23 years old. An important staff of his division, worked at nationwide world trading company. His life was hard, but nice. Steady income, cooperated colleagues at work, great social life… Even tough he was still single, it’s just because he hasn’t found the right one yet. Well, life couldn’t be so perfect right ?
He turned on the shower, closed his eyes as the cold water crashed onto his body. He leaned on the tiled linoleum walls and soaped his body, the spices smell of sandalwood tickled his nose trills.
Funny. I used this soap all along and I never like the scent…
Is it because this scent mixed nicely with his natural odor ?
Kazuya opened his eyes.
“ Who the heck I refer to…? “
He shook his head and finished his bath. Dressed in his usual attire; a dark suit for businessman, with a briefcase contains the paper of his work, he slid his body behind the steering wheel. His car hit the road, passed a huge billboard of a CM modeled by some good looking guys.
Another nostalgic feeling throbbed inside his chest, but he decided to ignore it. It seemed his weird dream was affected him too much today. He lost his grip onto his consciousness for a while, but he sure that everything will be okay later.
He was wrong.
He did his life as he always do, but there’s a void in his heart..
There was something wrong.
He drove to work. He buried himself with papers of work. He attended his meetings. He paused.
The void remains. Something is missing...
Another day, another night. He drove to work. He planned a vacation at a tropical island. His boss praised him. He was proud as he was promised a promotion soon. He paused.
The void never leave. His heart was yearning for something.
Something he didn’t know, but felt so nostalgic.
He tried to ignore that feeling. He continued his work. He planned another project. He cancelled his vacation, has no time. He chatted with his colleagues. Another success, another promotion. He paused.
Something is missing… and the void consumed his heart with anxiety.
He sipped his beer. He ate dinner with his friends. He flirted with random girls at the bar. Dance with beautiful stranger on the dance floor, but ignore her invitation for one night stand. He paused, hesitated.
It wasn’t something.
The void in his heart grew, uncontrollable.
He gazed on the moon, a glass of wine glistened on his palm. He tried to remember. Somebody he always refers to, but he didn’t know who. The scent. Some habits he did even tough they wasn’t his. Nostalgic feelings. A blur figure…
It wasn’t something.
It was somebody.
Somebody…
“ Somebody is missing… “
His head was struck with an agonizing pain. He felt like his heart was shattered, bleeding as tears and darkness leaking out inside him. “ Aaarrgh…!! “ He groaned, the distant memories flew back to his mind.
He and an older male. Him. The one whom he kept searching for .
Tangled hands, butterfly touches, promises, Hazel eyes, luscious lips, the sky, the kiss, the heat, the pain, the embrace, the sorrow, the voice, hectic breath, the hope, the despair, the caress, the tears, the wishes… the wings.
“ Jin…!! “
He remembered the missing person.
It was his lover, his lover who left him six months to LA, and came back with a distant and cold attitude. Their relationship turned awkward, they barely recognized each other as they turned into strangers.
He wondered if they weren’t idols, they will never be separated.
So that night… he wished that they weren’t idols. He wished that he wasn’t an idol.
“ I wish that we weren’t idols. I wish that I wasn’t an idol “
I’ll trade anything for it. Anything…
But there was no ‘him’ in that world.
But there was no ‘you’ in this world.
The world he lived now is another dimension where he worked as a business man. He never went to the audition. He wasn’t an idol here in this world. And so was he. Since they weren’t idol, their fate never crossed each other. They never met. They are two total strangers in different world.
There was no ‘you’ in this world.
And the world which didn’t have you… I didn’t need it.
***
“ Kazuya “
He slowly opened his eyes, found Jin’s smiling face in front of him. The older male run his fingers on his hair, removed the damped strands from his forehead, “ Nightmare…? “
Kazuya smiled bitterly and snuggled closer to the latter’s embrace.
So he was dreamed. In his dream, he reversed the fact; he was a normal person who once dreamed that he was an idol. Fool, as the truth is : he dreamed that he was a normal person. But it wasn’t the reality.
This, he stared at Jin’s face with demure eyes, is the reality.
It’s okay for me to crumbled.
It’s okay for me to broken in despair.
As long as the world which tormenting me has ‘you’ in it.
Both of us knew the little secret : you knew that I knew that you wished for wings. Wings as recognition of our forbidden, impossible love.
Even the world didn’t recognize it… I didn’t care. I’m glad that you came back. I’m grateful that we are idols; because we met each other as we decided to become idols. Even we must pay the price to acted so distant and awkward.
I just need your presence beside me.
And it was enough.
People are just stupid…
But that’s why they dreamt and pursue the dream into reality.
You are the reality for me.
And that’s all I need…
-owari-
Extra Explanation : Some of my friends told me that this story is kinda hard to understand. So, Kazuya wished that he wasn’t an idol, he remembered his past days with Jin. When he woke up the next morning, he was a normal business man but he didn’t remember about the whole idol things. He always feels a void in his heart, in his life. Then he remembered about his wish, that he was actually an idol. In his ‘normal’ life, there was no Jin in it since they never met in that world. So Kazuya cancelled his wish, he prefer a harsh life but contains Jin in it. The ‘normal’ world turned into a dream of his, and Kazuya glad with the fact that he was an idol now.
Too crappy ? *run away*
Gommmmmeeeeeeennnnn…!!!!
Author : mizuno_hikaru
Pairing : Akame
Rating : NC17
Summary : Kamenashi Kazuya wished that he wasn’t an idol. He paid a high price when he woke up the next morning, found his wish came true.
Disclaimer : I won’t spend my time like this if I owned them XDXD
Warning : Un-betaed. Angst, but no character death.
A/N : well, even I didn’t know why I wrote this fic. Maybe the darkness inside me was trying its best to leaking out. LOLZ.
It was a heated night.
Distinct voices faded away, the scent of alcohol mixed in the air along with sweats and perfume. Whispering sounds, muffled moans, and no one cares. The crowd went wilder as they keep grinding each other hips, shaked their body along the rhythm and enjoyed the moments of fake butterfly’s warmth touched their bare skins.
His head felt light; his breath hitched and everything was a big blur. The only consciousness he own is only to dance. Dance. Even it takes forever until the world end. So he moved his limbs, done his steps perfectly and followed his primitive instinct to surrendered himself to the beats.
He was drunk.
A single drop of alcohol never touched his lips; but he was deadly drunk. He was drunk from pain, sorrow and broken-hearted; anxiety poisoned his mind, as he drowned into a giddy state of trance.
Enough.
I’m tired. I’ve fed up. I’m sick of this.
Enough…
But there wasn’t any ‘enough’ for him. He was shattered into pieces and totally clueless about the whole fixing things. They said the wound will recover as time goes by, but it isn’t.
Because he was no anybody.
He was somebody.
The fact left a mark on him; a curse, gyves on his feet, a solid metal chain which tied him down to a golden cage.
He was famous.
He was an idol.
And that’s why the one he loves got ripped from his side and sent to LA for those bloody six months.
“ YOU, don’t ever dream that your relationship will be accepted. You two are idols. Face the reality “
“ Kame, Jin said that he will go to LA. They said that he might never come back “
“ …Jin said that the whole plan is his dream. So why he acted like a prisoner sent to his execution ? “
He remembered the last night before he went. A sloppy kiss, bitter and painful…yet gentle and breath-taking one. Caress on his skin, warm breath, lucid orbs with almond-shapped frame…
Those ghostly fingers wiped his tears away, “ I love you. I love you for ever and forever, in every single day of tomorrow “
But there’s no ‘Wait for me. I’ll be back’.
The music ended, the crowds cheering, but he didn’t react like the other. He sat on his seat and finished another glass of vodka.
When his lover came back, he found no one except a total stranger. A stranger who acted so awkward with him, called him Kamenashi with a total façade and poker face.
They managed to fix their relationship, but it never be the same anymore.
He felt that he want to puke.
“ I wish that we weren’t idols “ He whispered, “ …I wish that I wasn’t an idol “
…and the rest is black.
Dark black.
***
They lied on the grass, side by side. Their fingers tangled together; the sun shines brightly on the blue sky as the cicadas cry noisily under the basking heat of summer. The winds blows occasionally, but they didn’t mutter a word at all.
They didn’t need words…
The slight touches on their fingertips are more than enough.
The latter suddenly moved, hovering above him-buried him under the shadow. Kazuya touched the latter’s cheek; the bare skin felt hot and fiery, like the sun.
“ What is it ? “
“ I wanted to have wings “
“ Why ? “
“ Because I don’t have them “
Why do people always yearn for something they didn’t own ?
Why do people only desire the things they cannot have…?
People sure are greedy.
They wished for wings, so they could fly like a bird.
They wished for gill and fins, so they could breathe underwater like a fish.
People are just stupid…
But that’s why they dreamt and pursue the dream into reality.
“ I wanted wings “ Jin’s deep voice penetrated him; husky and irresistible, “ …the wings that I could never have “
...but it's a secret.
Because both of them knew the little secret : the wings are actually the recognition from the world of their love-the forbidden, impossible love.
Kazuya closed his eyes.
“ I wish that we weren’t idols. I wish that I wasn’t an idol “
I’ll trade anything for it.
Anything.
Anything…
***
His eyes snapped open as a cold finger touched his nape. His bed felt so warm and comfortable, the sun was radiated its warmth into the very inch of the room. The nostalgic memories of dried-hanged clothes at the backyard lingered in his thought as the air brought the scent of flowers and soap, mixed with fresh taste of light.
He was sure that he felt a touch on his nape, but in reality he was alone. No one else beside him stayed in the room. He felt dizzy, as his previous strange dream of him being an idol made him chuckled.
“ Stupid dream “
He dreamt that he was an idol, along with-. With who ? He barely remembered the latter, but he knew that somebody was a special person for him. But it was all a mere dream.
Kamenashi Kazuya, 23 years old. An important staff of his division, worked at nationwide world trading company. His life was hard, but nice. Steady income, cooperated colleagues at work, great social life… Even tough he was still single, it’s just because he hasn’t found the right one yet. Well, life couldn’t be so perfect right ?
He turned on the shower, closed his eyes as the cold water crashed onto his body. He leaned on the tiled linoleum walls and soaped his body, the spices smell of sandalwood tickled his nose trills.
Funny. I used this soap all along and I never like the scent…
Is it because this scent mixed nicely with his natural odor ?
Kazuya opened his eyes.
“ Who the heck I refer to…? “
He shook his head and finished his bath. Dressed in his usual attire; a dark suit for businessman, with a briefcase contains the paper of his work, he slid his body behind the steering wheel. His car hit the road, passed a huge billboard of a CM modeled by some good looking guys.
Another nostalgic feeling throbbed inside his chest, but he decided to ignore it. It seemed his weird dream was affected him too much today. He lost his grip onto his consciousness for a while, but he sure that everything will be okay later.
He was wrong.
He did his life as he always do, but there’s a void in his heart..
There was something wrong.
He drove to work. He buried himself with papers of work. He attended his meetings. He paused.
The void remains. Something is missing...
Another day, another night. He drove to work. He planned a vacation at a tropical island. His boss praised him. He was proud as he was promised a promotion soon. He paused.
The void never leave. His heart was yearning for something.
Something he didn’t know, but felt so nostalgic.
He tried to ignore that feeling. He continued his work. He planned another project. He cancelled his vacation, has no time. He chatted with his colleagues. Another success, another promotion. He paused.
Something is missing… and the void consumed his heart with anxiety.
He sipped his beer. He ate dinner with his friends. He flirted with random girls at the bar. Dance with beautiful stranger on the dance floor, but ignore her invitation for one night stand. He paused, hesitated.
It wasn’t something.
The void in his heart grew, uncontrollable.
He gazed on the moon, a glass of wine glistened on his palm. He tried to remember. Somebody he always refers to, but he didn’t know who. The scent. Some habits he did even tough they wasn’t his. Nostalgic feelings. A blur figure…
It wasn’t something.
It was somebody.
Somebody…
“ Somebody is missing… “
His head was struck with an agonizing pain. He felt like his heart was shattered, bleeding as tears and darkness leaking out inside him. “ Aaarrgh…!! “ He groaned, the distant memories flew back to his mind.
He and an older male. Him. The one whom he kept searching for .
Tangled hands, butterfly touches, promises, Hazel eyes, luscious lips, the sky, the kiss, the heat, the pain, the embrace, the sorrow, the voice, hectic breath, the hope, the despair, the caress, the tears, the wishes… the wings.
“ Jin…!! “
He remembered the missing person.
It was his lover, his lover who left him six months to LA, and came back with a distant and cold attitude. Their relationship turned awkward, they barely recognized each other as they turned into strangers.
He wondered if they weren’t idols, they will never be separated.
So that night… he wished that they weren’t idols. He wished that he wasn’t an idol.
“ I wish that we weren’t idols. I wish that I wasn’t an idol “
I’ll trade anything for it. Anything…
But there was no ‘him’ in that world.
But there was no ‘you’ in this world.
The world he lived now is another dimension where he worked as a business man. He never went to the audition. He wasn’t an idol here in this world. And so was he. Since they weren’t idol, their fate never crossed each other. They never met. They are two total strangers in different world.
There was no ‘you’ in this world.
And the world which didn’t have you… I didn’t need it.
***
“ Kazuya “
He slowly opened his eyes, found Jin’s smiling face in front of him. The older male run his fingers on his hair, removed the damped strands from his forehead, “ Nightmare…? “
Kazuya smiled bitterly and snuggled closer to the latter’s embrace.
So he was dreamed. In his dream, he reversed the fact; he was a normal person who once dreamed that he was an idol. Fool, as the truth is : he dreamed that he was a normal person. But it wasn’t the reality.
This, he stared at Jin’s face with demure eyes, is the reality.
It’s okay for me to crumbled.
It’s okay for me to broken in despair.
As long as the world which tormenting me has ‘you’ in it.
Both of us knew the little secret : you knew that I knew that you wished for wings. Wings as recognition of our forbidden, impossible love.
Even the world didn’t recognize it… I didn’t care. I’m glad that you came back. I’m grateful that we are idols; because we met each other as we decided to become idols. Even we must pay the price to acted so distant and awkward.
I just need your presence beside me.
And it was enough.
People are just stupid…
But that’s why they dreamt and pursue the dream into reality.
You are the reality for me.
And that’s all I need…
-owari-
Extra Explanation : Some of my friends told me that this story is kinda hard to understand. So, Kazuya wished that he wasn’t an idol, he remembered his past days with Jin. When he woke up the next morning, he was a normal business man but he didn’t remember about the whole idol things. He always feels a void in his heart, in his life. Then he remembered about his wish, that he was actually an idol. In his ‘normal’ life, there was no Jin in it since they never met in that world. So Kazuya cancelled his wish, he prefer a harsh life but contains Jin in it. The ‘normal’ world turned into a dream of his, and Kazuya glad with the fact that he was an idol now.
Too crappy ? *run away*
Gommmmmeeeeeeennnnn…!!!!