Akame's One-shot
Morning Without Him
Author : mizuno_hikaru
Pairing : Akame
Rating : PG15
Summary : Morning. Alone. Obsessive-compulsive disorder. Arrange them in a sentences.
Warning : angst. Prepare some tissues if you thought you’ll need them.
A/N : inspired from “I MISS YOU LOVE” by Maria Mena. I dunno which POV I used in this fic XDXD. (is it the second person POV? XDXD) But I knew you will know whose POV I used. Enjoy ne? Comments will be very very very appreciated~
It’s a routine.
You woke up this morning, nothing special.
But there were tears in your eyes, and you swept them away immediately.
It was not the first time you woke up with tears in your eyes…
Honestly, you denied the fact too much. But you never listened to your own hunches.
“ I’m okay “ You said, “ I’m okay. I’m just okay “
But you were there on your king-sized bed; you sat on your side of the bed, starring at the empty space which belonged to him. His side of the bed was empty and untouched. You closed your eyes, as the fact was painful for you.
“ I’m okay “ You repeated, trying to convinced yourself, “ I’m okay… It’s okay even without him “
You were still denying your own feelings.
But that was all you could do; simply denying everything.
You are just stubborn.
You denied that you put his belongings around you, just to keep you calm.
You denied that you were snuggling with his t-shirts when you felt down.
You denied the fact that you left the bathroom in a mess, just to remember the usual condition after he used it.
You did all of those things.
But you denied it.
You took a quick shower.
The nice warm water kept pouring onto your skin; running and crashing down on your back.
You reached for soap, finding two bars of different brand.
One is yours. The other one is his.
You have your own soap, but you used his instead.
Just to mark his usual scent on your body.
But you denied that you did that on purpose too.
You are too stubborn.
You ate your breakfast.
A nice cup of black coffee and some sandwiches.
You hate coffee since it is bitter, but it was his favorite.
You hate tomatoes, but somehow you ate the sandwiches since he used to tell you not to waste your food.
But yes, you are stubborn.
You denied those facts.
You were preparing for work when you realized you had none today.
The fact frustrated you, because you didn’t have anything to distract your mind.
That’s why you buried yourself in huge piles of work, right ?
To keep yourself busy.
Because it will help you to forget.
Forget about the things you didn’t want to remember.
About him.
You knew your friends were worrying about you.
They even asked you if you got an Obsessive-compulsive disorder since your acts frightened them.
You remembered your answer.
You shook your head and laughed.
You told them that they were silly.
“ I’m okay. I’m really okay “
That’s what you said.
And you were being stubborn, as usual.
You never admitted that you denied the acts you performed.
You refused to accept the reality.
You hate it when people try to comfort you.
You hate it when they pamper you.
“ I’m okay “
You always say those words.
But couldn’t you see that you are NOT okay ?
You live in your own lies.
You keep repeating that you are okay, but you didn’t realize the fact.
You denied the truth, but you denied that you were doing so.
It was 9 a.m when you grabbed your keys and left.
You drove your car, taking a random road; the wind slapping your face.
And you kept driving.
The needle of your speedometer moved fast to the right side, signaling the rising number of speed, but you still didn’t care.
You even hoped that your car would crash.
You wished for an accident.
So you could die.
Just like him.
The headlines of the news flashed in your head like a curse : Akanishi Jin (24) The A of KAT-TUN, died in car crash.
It was a big bold sentence, printed on the front pages of the newspapers.
You knew the rest of the story.
It was all chaos.
Tears.
Sorrow.
Pain.
KAT-TUN was on hiatus for half a year before JE decided that you should move on without the A.
Because he was irreplaceable.
Because he will live in the hearts of the people loving him.
You opened your eyes.
It was 11 a.m when you realized that you were parking in front of the cemetery.
You stepped out of your car, your mouth shut and dry.
And there you are, kneeling in front of a grave.
You clutched the tombstone with grief pain in your heart.
Your tears escaped, but this time you let them fall.
it was two years since he left you.
And you were living by killing yourself since then.
A bit each day, one day after another.
You knew that you are not okay.
You admitted that you were crumbling down.
You admitted that you are missing him.
That you still love him.
“ Jin “ You called, “ I love you… “
I love you…
Every single day of forever.
And I miss you…
I’m missing you, love…
You looked at the watch on your wrist.
It’s 11:59 a.m…
And you wonder if you could survive another morning without him for the next day.
--owari--
Author : mizuno_hikaru
Pairing : Akame
Rating : PG15
Summary : Morning. Alone. Obsessive-compulsive disorder. Arrange them in a sentences.
Warning : angst. Prepare some tissues if you thought you’ll need them.
A/N : inspired from “I MISS YOU LOVE” by Maria Mena. I dunno which POV I used in this fic XDXD. (is it the second person POV? XDXD) But I knew you will know whose POV I used. Enjoy ne? Comments will be very very very appreciated~
It’s a routine.
You woke up this morning, nothing special.
But there were tears in your eyes, and you swept them away immediately.
It was not the first time you woke up with tears in your eyes…
Honestly, you denied the fact too much. But you never listened to your own hunches.
“ I’m okay “ You said, “ I’m okay. I’m just okay “
But you were there on your king-sized bed; you sat on your side of the bed, starring at the empty space which belonged to him. His side of the bed was empty and untouched. You closed your eyes, as the fact was painful for you.
“ I’m okay “ You repeated, trying to convinced yourself, “ I’m okay… It’s okay even without him “
You were still denying your own feelings.
But that was all you could do; simply denying everything.
You are just stubborn.
You denied that you put his belongings around you, just to keep you calm.
You denied that you were snuggling with his t-shirts when you felt down.
You denied the fact that you left the bathroom in a mess, just to remember the usual condition after he used it.
You did all of those things.
But you denied it.
You took a quick shower.
The nice warm water kept pouring onto your skin; running and crashing down on your back.
You reached for soap, finding two bars of different brand.
One is yours. The other one is his.
You have your own soap, but you used his instead.
Just to mark his usual scent on your body.
But you denied that you did that on purpose too.
You are too stubborn.
You ate your breakfast.
A nice cup of black coffee and some sandwiches.
You hate coffee since it is bitter, but it was his favorite.
You hate tomatoes, but somehow you ate the sandwiches since he used to tell you not to waste your food.
But yes, you are stubborn.
You denied those facts.
You were preparing for work when you realized you had none today.
The fact frustrated you, because you didn’t have anything to distract your mind.
That’s why you buried yourself in huge piles of work, right ?
To keep yourself busy.
Because it will help you to forget.
Forget about the things you didn’t want to remember.
About him.
You knew your friends were worrying about you.
They even asked you if you got an Obsessive-compulsive disorder since your acts frightened them.
You remembered your answer.
You shook your head and laughed.
You told them that they were silly.
“ I’m okay. I’m really okay “
That’s what you said.
And you were being stubborn, as usual.
You never admitted that you denied the acts you performed.
You refused to accept the reality.
You hate it when people try to comfort you.
You hate it when they pamper you.
“ I’m okay “
You always say those words.
But couldn’t you see that you are NOT okay ?
You live in your own lies.
You keep repeating that you are okay, but you didn’t realize the fact.
You denied the truth, but you denied that you were doing so.
It was 9 a.m when you grabbed your keys and left.
You drove your car, taking a random road; the wind slapping your face.
And you kept driving.
The needle of your speedometer moved fast to the right side, signaling the rising number of speed, but you still didn’t care.
You even hoped that your car would crash.
You wished for an accident.
So you could die.
Just like him.
The headlines of the news flashed in your head like a curse : Akanishi Jin (24) The A of KAT-TUN, died in car crash.
It was a big bold sentence, printed on the front pages of the newspapers.
You knew the rest of the story.
It was all chaos.
Tears.
Sorrow.
Pain.
KAT-TUN was on hiatus for half a year before JE decided that you should move on without the A.
Because he was irreplaceable.
Because he will live in the hearts of the people loving him.
You opened your eyes.
It was 11 a.m when you realized that you were parking in front of the cemetery.
You stepped out of your car, your mouth shut and dry.
And there you are, kneeling in front of a grave.
You clutched the tombstone with grief pain in your heart.
Your tears escaped, but this time you let them fall.
it was two years since he left you.
And you were living by killing yourself since then.
A bit each day, one day after another.
You knew that you are not okay.
You admitted that you were crumbling down.
You admitted that you are missing him.
That you still love him.
“ Jin “ You called, “ I love you… “
I love you…
Every single day of forever.
And I miss you…
I’m missing you, love…
You looked at the watch on your wrist.
It’s 11:59 a.m…
And you wonder if you could survive another morning without him for the next day.
--owari--