Dealing with 3: tales from parenting-land.

[mizarchivist]

[I acknowledge here, I am reinventing the wheel-- I’m mostly writing this for my own remembering later]

When they say 3 is hard, I don’t think you can quite comprehend that on a bone-deep level until you find yourself arguing with your mini-me over the most ridiculous shit. The thing I’ve come to learn is for every “no” I say, he will always be able

Comments

[woodwardiocom]

Word, forsooth, and well said.

[mizarchivist]

parental solidarity fist-bump, dude.

[drwex]

I hear you SO hard.

It is entirely due to Sunspiral's intervention that my elder child made it past 3 and I didn't end up in jail.

For me the problem was always remembering these things in media res. I could make lists and recite mantras and principles until I was blue in the face ... as long as I was out of the situation. But being thrown in, particularly unprepared or head first or by surprise or when underslept/fed... yeah, bad times.

In other words...

[mizarchivist]

Engage: LIZARD BRAIN.
Result: YOU ARE SCREWED.

I'm expecting to fall into the trap again. But I am hoping with ongoing practice on the other stuff, and getting more positive interactions on the micro level, it'll bolster for the totally shit fail points.

That we are 2 adults down this week at the house is also a factor for both us coping and for the kid's behavior. He misses his second set of parents. There MAY need to be a stuffed animal despite my vociferous claims he doesn't effing need another one.

Re: In other words...

[drwex]

In our household it was sometimes sufficient to acquire an accouterment for a beloved stuffed animal (even just a soft satin bow to be tied on) rather than a whole new stuffi.

Re: In other words...

[mizarchivist]

+1

[library_sexy]

These ideas all sound great.....I hope I can learn from you as we start to move towards this age.

[mizarchivist]

I hope in the heat of the frustration some of this will be remembered.
::clinks glasses::

we can do this. it gets better (so they tell me)

11.

[sweetmmeblue]

3 is about managing and learning to identify emotion. Storms can be shortened with sympathy of "it's hard being three" or "It's tough not to get what you want, you sound disappointed." Sometimes just having words to put to an emotion help.

We taught Thing2 sign language for emotions at this age because he needed a physical way to express his emotions.

4!!! This is so true and still true today, at least for Thing2. I wish I could remember the other stuff more and do the yelling less. I'm trying to embody my mom. The more angry she was the quieter she got. That always scared the crap out of me when she was angry and QUIET.

Re: 11.

[mizarchivist]

I do not see any active help in IDing the feelings for him. But I do anyway as a commenary to myself and other adults nearby that I'm trying ... eh... stuff. I lost track of what I was trying to say here.

Re: 11.

[ceo]

For a lot of kids it helps them identify and understand their emotions. Of course, sometimes their emotion is "stop validating my feelings and give me what I want, you stupid parent!"

Re: 11.

[sweetmmeblue]

LAUGH.

[hammercock]

Ooh yeah.

I have to say that I found the recently-read copy of Your Three-Year-Old: Friend or Enemy, by Louise Bates Ames and Frances L. Ilg, to be helpful. It was like "did they get ahold of a time machine 30 years ago and come to 2015 to write about my son?" levels of reassuring that X is just a normal 3-year-old. :-}

[mizarchivist]

I should look into that one.