The "end" of Timestamp

[mithrigil]

I consider this the last chronological fic to happen in Subaru's story as I've been telling/augmenting it. There will be others in the timeline--I know two that I have to wait until July to post, damn you Kinkfest--and there will be a timeline-archiving post as well (and should fix the one I did for Schwanengesang too, ffxii people), and I know I'm

Comments

[byzantienne]

This is a first pass. I'm still looking for coherency, so this is not the comment with the structural analysis and the work-as-a-whole textual criticism -- which this piece does deserve -- but the comment with the 'oh god, oh god, oh god, apocalypse', instead.

I keep coming back to 'the color of devastation'. The use of color in general, actually. (Okay, I can't entirely avoid the litcrit, mostly because I suspect litcrit is the only way I'm going to be at all coherent; some of this wrecked me.) Because you use so much of it, and so vividly, especially in the first section, which is sickeningly rich with color -- there's something amazing about the fact that after the apocalypse there is color, and before there is the black-and-white-and-blood only. This is especially clear in the part that used to be 'Creases', which is all the blurring of those colors, and -- well. I still can't talk about this adequately, damnit

[mithrigil]

:hugs: Thanks for letting me wait on getting back to you.

In a way, the color-augmentation is my way of breaking out of the words-as-manga format and shoving it into something else, perhaps something more real? I'm so glad that seems to have come across...

And yes. YES. I think why Creases wasn't sufficient on its own was that it needed to be contextualized as the Becoming it is. (Now I want to read this piece listening to The Downward Spiral and see if it works--I suspect it might.) It's as much a ritual as the lamplighting at the start, the only difference being that Subaru's only aware of the significance, not the repercussions, and even then only the personal significance as opposed to the tragic significance.

And as for the tragados...irony cudgel, anyone? :grin:

I do look forward to any analysis you still plan on doing. ::hugs so much::

[byzantienne]

Of course. (Though I'll admit to taking the laptop with me to the coffeeshop along with my Greek work, to check for responses. *laughs, facepalm*)

-- oh! Yes, yes, the explosion of color (the seizure of color) does change the format quite significantly. It comes across brilliantly. (I could, honestly, see this filmed; it wouldn't be as powerful, as your internal/literary/linguistic descriptions really carry the work, but still. The qualia of the imagery is almost Fellini-esque, in places. First section, Sadame section, especially.)

The way you've contextualized Creases will be a major part of the analysis, which I really do want to do -- heh.

When you post the whole Timestamp sequence, as a serial work, would you mind -- would you like -- essay-length meta/analysis? Because I would enjoy doing that. With your permission.

[mithrigil]

--I. I. Um. I would love you forever, even if Auden doesn't think loving forever exists. Screw Auden.

It's odd--the three pieces that I think would actually translated to film or visual media best? This, Aneurysm, and Gathering Water. And what they all have in common? The color brown.

[zombie_fetus]

Perhaps I'm having the opposite reaction/intended effect, but I can't help but be constantly aggravated by Subaru. Whether he's as selfish, self-absorbed/gratifying and hypocritical as I see him or not. Sometimes I get close to being fascinated and he just repels me right back away.

Very reminiscent to me of some themes in Swansong, the VS pieces, The Spindle, etc. Isolation is quite a major theme in your work and it really shows itself very strongly here. As and "end" of sorts, I think this succeeds in translating your vision of Subaru's fate. Unfortunately, I can't empathize with him and it drags me out of the story. >;/

[mithrigil]

He is self-absorbed and hypocritical, and certainly at this stage when there's nothing else to define him but that. And it IS frustrating. I'm actually glad that aspect came across, though perhaps not as strongly as it did for you. We see it in the canon, when X-era Subaru sends on the ghost of a grieving woman's fiancee. It's vidnictive, even, the way he crushes that woman for clinging to illusion when he feels so entitled to do the same. :smile: I suppose that I'm more apt or able to empathize with someone that manner of flawed than others.

When I showed Aneurysm to someone unfamiliar with X, he actually said in his review, "Sumeragi is so mean and self-centered! He's caustic, all that politeness is a weapon." He was right.

So whether you empathize with the man or not, I still think your reaction to the piece isn't the opposite of what I wanted.

Perhaps a reflection instead?

:snerk:

[hellody]

As said above, this is just a first comment. I have to read your fic again (and possibly again) before I'm able to say something constructive.
So, I just wanted to say that I just LOVE the poem you quoted at the end.It's so relevant...and so heartbeaking *sobbing heavily*
I still remember the first time I heard it, it was in the movie "four weddings and a funeral"...when I was 14 (this is killing me, it now seems it was an eternity ago) and it really striked me.

[mithrigil]

I'm most familiar with the poem from Britten's setting of it in Cabaret Songs. My old composition teacher used the poem as an assignment for a class he taught after I graduated, and I remembered it from then. :smiles:

Thank you. :smiles:

[reflecttheother]

This is quite the last fic for a timeline, I can't wait until you post the chronological order. The atmosphere you created and the switching between years was especially well done. A small critique: the structure of the last paragraph doesn't quite work imo. Perhaps instead of separating the phrases with periods, you could use semi-colons instead. For me, the periods broke up the paragraph in such a way that it took a couple of rereads before I could realize that the subsequent sentences were supposed to add to the idea of the beginning of the year.

[mithrigil]

--That's a good idea, I see what you mean. I think I'll semicolon the first and let the rest run as fragments?

And thanks so much!

[reflecttheother]

That does seem to flow better. I'm looking forward to July when you can post those other parts :)

[mithrigil]

Phew! It stays, then!

And thanks again! I suspect that between now and then there will be others--and most of the rest is up already. I think there are some 21 fics in the timeline alread posted under the tbx tag in my journal.

[akk_]

since IJ has issues right now:

Riveting. Painful.

The flow of colors from dark and light to the grey in between; from the grey of concrete constructions to the brown of forgotten time & shrivelled, mummified skin.

And the way time and dates erase and restore...
...at the end of pretense.

♥

I'd like to add two things to the above:

1) I chose this form of reply because I feel unable to say "I like / enjoyed it". It's perfect in the way it worms itself into your head, inserting its pictures and motives, whether you want it or not, without leaving an escape to a less sad setting.

2) The slow crumbling of the world around him, shown in tiny details, is reflected in the way his thoughts / his sanity? crumble on its own. As somebody who is used to a certain degree to be alone with my thoughts, it is painful to see the portray of somebody needing an external reflection / transformation of his thoughts that much without hope of ever finding it (again).

[mithrigil]

IJ sucks. But.

Hearts right back at you~

Thank you so much. :smiles: I loved modulating the colors in this, and, well, in the entire scope of this timeline. And being able to say without saying it, that they're not so different after all, has been a goal of mine since the start.

re: 1) I can understand not enjoying it. I'm not sure the experience of it should be a pleasurable one...

2) I think that's part of why isolation is such a prevalent theme in my writing and my music--I'm also often alone with my thoughts and craving understanding, and am especially frightened by the prospect of them never being grasped or realized as well.

[akk_]

"they're not so different after all"
Is so true! On more levels than one can easily list, actually. :)

Given the context and style of the fic, I consider 1) actually a compliment for you. (At least, it was meant as one.)

I am often content with my lone thoughts. Hence, seeing somebody deteriorating that much because he'd need external feedback is... scary.

[mithrigil]

:smiles: Well, then a compliment it is!

And yeah...Subaru's issues with his own identity have been egging me on since the beginning ot TB. He's so defined by his role and by others--and even when he starts to take for himself and think for himself it's only because of who he's redefining himself based on. It's particularly frightening to me, that selfless selfishness.