Full Metal Alchemist, "Orphans," Jean/Roy, NC-17

[mistr3ssquickly]

I swore I wouldn’t write manga!Jean, but I’ve gone and done it in this story. Still haven’t actually read the manga, though, so just kind of take the timeline wherever you think it fits. This is a very personal story, so it may not appeal to everyone, but I hope some of you will like it, all the same

Comments

[mistr3ssquickly]

Breda's and Jean's friendship is by far my favorite part of writing Jean/Roy, more so than the sexual pairing of Jean and Roy. Breda's a great character and horribly underdeveloped, but you know his friendship with Jean has got to be incredibly strong.

I'm so glad you liked this story, hon! *snuggles* Thank you for reading me!

[norwegianbandit]

I'm glad. I've been without the internet for lots of days and when I come back this is waiting for me!

It was beautiful. And you made it even more beautiful when you said it was very personal. Or at least I think so.

It hit all the right spots, and it brought tears to my dry eyes (which don't happen very often).

Much love to you, because I would've been a poor soul without your work! ♥

[mistr3ssquickly]

Haha I shrivel without internet, personally! I'm really glad you liked this story, hon. I remember helping my mom clean out my grandparents' house when they passed on, it was very similar to the feelings in this story.

I'm so glad you like my stories, dear. Thank you so much for reading me!

[jo_monk]

It was beautiful and touching and sweet and wonderful. I love how you write lovers. :)

[mistr3ssquickly]

Thank you, sweetie. I'm really glad you liked it! :)

[reanimated]

;_; that made me cry.

[mistr3ssquickly]

*offers tissue* I'm sorry!

[ewitsastripper]

hi my name is Jean and I'm an alcoholic~ ;]

It's pretty obvious that this is personal, just because of some hints in the writing. Nice sentence structure and flow, as always, and the fic is very complete. Jean is written well, but I think Roy could use some work. He seems a little too sentimental, but that might just be me, because I'm used to closed-off Roy.

But how did Jean's mom die?

I BET IT WAS A TERRORIST OMG
OR AN IMMIGRANT

no I'm kidding don't shoot me~ XD

[mistr3ssquickly]

I took a lot of care with Roy, actually. Notice how he's closed-off and not sentimental in public, standing by and letting Riza and Cain and Heymans take care of Jean when he cries at the funeral? I was careful not to let him show emotion until he was alone with Jean and could just be there for him.

It's subtle, and it may not fit with your view of Roy, but I did try, and his actions were intentional. ^_^

In response to how Jean's mother died, it was of illness and old age. At one point, Jean says: "All that time together, since I got hurt, and after she got sick, and I never asked. I wish I'd asked her." I was hoping that'd be clear enough ... maybe I should go fix that.

I'm so grateful for your comment. It's good to hear others' views of the characters, helps me write them more canon-believable in the future. Thank you for your feedback! ♥