Fullmetal Alchemist, "Humana," Belsio/Nash, R

[mistr3ssquickly]

Before anything else is said, I would like to state that I do not like this story. I don't care if it's well or poorly written, I don't care if it's creepy or cheesy, I do not like it.

WARNINGS: Deathfic. Dark, scary deathfic. Not sad so much as creepy.

The bunny said hop so I hopped, and this is what I got. Based off of a request by goldphish_bowl, and no,

Comments

[crystal_lilly]

I caved so quickly it's ridiculous. I said I would probably read it tomorrow... I read it before I went to bed.

And now after having read it... I am going to go reread the one where Russel is a squire and Ed is a knight, because that one always cheers me up.

On the bright side (if there is a bright side for this fic), you conveyed the feelings of horror and numb shock very well. The absence of words here works for the environment and mood you want. The very shortness of the story helps to keep the pain and fear sharp and real.

Belsio looked up, into the darkness creeping into the circle of light where the lamp on the table flickered.

"Right behind you," said Nash, softly.This part gave me the shivers. The "Belsio looked up, into the darkness" part is a very well-written foreshadowing of the rest of his life... and then having the homunculus appearing right behind the officer is just plain creepy and very suspenseful

[mistr3ssquickly]

Mmm. I swear I read this when you posted it, but then ... life happened.

Stupid busy. >_<

It thrills me ridiculously that you like "A Squire's Tale," because that one is SO MUCH more my speed. Fluff and affection and committment and NOT DEATH, you know?

However! I appreciate you reading this one, depressing though it may be.

The bit where Nash appeared behind the officer gave me shivers, too. I was writing along (I never plan anything, of course) and that kind of "happened," and ... ugh. Very Stephen King, I think. Not my style. But hey! I'm glad it creeped you out ... that was the intention, at least? v_v;;

Mmm. Proof that playing God is never a good idea, right?

*passes you some fluff and snuggles*

Thanks for reading, hon! ♥

~m