Full Metal Alchemist, "Empty Nest 1.5: A Matter of Pride," Danny/Al, PG
At the very end of a bad day last week, I checked my messages and found this absolutely breathtaking drawing of Al and Danny, drawn by sepsku. When asked, she requested a fic detailing Al and Danny's first date in return, and I have been thrilled to oblige. ♥
This fits in between chapter one and chapter two of Empty Nest, if anyone's wondering, but can easily stand alone.
Enjoy! ♥♥♥
[EDIT]: Goodness, I swore I'd not do the same thing to Empty Nest that I did to Domesticity, but I've gone and done it. v_v;; Therefore, this is now chapter 1.5 of Empty Nest. The Muses insisted.
another edit: Why didn't anyone tell me that I'd put this in the wrong place? It should be 1.5, not 2.5! >_<
The whole arc is here:
Prologue: Prodigal Sons
Chapter 1: Awakening
[Chapter 1.5: A Matter of Pride]
Chapter 2: True Test
Chapter 3: Amestris Pie
Chapter 4: Waiting
Chapter 5: Allowance
Chapter 6: Change
Chapter 7: Truce
Chapter 8: Out Alone
Chapter 9: Growing Pains
Chapter 10: Resentment
Chapter 11: Back to Normal
Chapter 12: Perspective
Chapter 13: Understanding
Chapter 14: Distraction
Chapter 15: Silence
Chapter 16: Choose
Chapter 17: Bonds
Chapter 18: Healing
Chapter 19: Nesting
Chapter 20: The Morning After
Chapter 21: Reaction
Chapter 22: Aftershocks
Chapter 23: Goodbye
Chapter 24: Memory
Epilogue: Family
A Matter of Pride
by Mistr3ss Quickly
It's either real or it's a dream;
There's nothing that is in between.
Twilight: I only meant to stay awhile
Twilight: I gave you time to steal my mind away from me.
You brought me here, but can you take me back again?
~"Twilight" by Electric Light Orchestra
At the age of twenty-six, Danny Broche was on his first date.
Well, technically, it was his third, but it was so unlike the other dates he'd been on that Danny hardly thought it counted. This date, Danny had been brave enough to ask for, himself, and genuinely wanted to be on.
It's as different from those other dates as Al is from his older brother, he thought, surreptitiously watching Al gyrate slowly back and forth to a tune only Al could hear, the boy's knees bending in time with his hips as he stood beside Danny, waiting for the stoplight to change. He was pale-too many days spent in the library, away from the sun-and his cheeks were oddly flushed. Chilled, Danny supposed, in the sharp wind whipping around the corner of the bank, and he was tempted to pull Al close, perhaps drape his scarf around the boy's neck to keep him warm.
Not on the first date, though. Danny wasn't honestly certain that it was a date, even.
Whatever it was, he was happy about it. Thrilled to be out with Alphonse on what could be considered a date, away from books and orders and duty to the State.
Al shivered and sunk his hands into his pockets, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and chewing on it, a habit Danny had watched him develop over the past few weeks, when the studying had gone from serious to intense, Al sleeping less and worrying more.
He was cute. Innocent and handsome in a way Edward never had been. Danny bit the inside of his own lip, trying not to smile at the thought of such a good-looking young man being out. With him. On what might or might not be a date.
The light changed and Al moved forward, walking with a bounce in his step.
"Thanks for coming out with me, Danny," he said, once they'd crossed the street, Danny motioning to the right, when Al looked up at him for direction. "I know I should be studying right now, but ... I just can't. Not right now."
Danny nodded. "Perfectly understandable, Alphon-Al." He blushed. "Sorry."
"It's fine," said Al. "You can still call my 'Alphonse,' if you want. I don't mind my full name, just it's kinda long. 'Al' is easier, don't you think?"
"Mmm-hmm," said Danny. "Your full name's nice, though. Unique. I've never met anyone with your name, before."
Al's eyes went wide. "Neither have I," he said, "but my brother has. He had a friend named Alfons, only difference was in the spelling. He spelled it A-L-F-O-N-S instead of A-L-P-H-O-N-S-E."
"Really?" said Danny. "Huh."
They stopped to wait for another light, just across the street from the deli Danny had invited Al to for lunch. He watched Al out of the corner of his eye, watched the boy rock back and forth on the balls of his feet, chewing his lip once again.
He looked sad. Deflated, somehow.
Ah, thought Danny. His brother. Sore topic, right now.
He tried to think of something to say, anything to cheer Al up, but the only thing that came to mind were platitudes about how Things Would Get Better between Al and his older brother, how Everything Would Turn Out Okay Eventually.
Al was smart enough to know that, Danny knew. Pointing them out would be a waste of time, and likely just make the boy feel worse.
"Hey," he said, nudging the bulky sleeve of Al's jacket with the back of his wrist.
Al smiled up at him, a fake smile that was obviously meant as a cover. "Yeah?"
Danny scrambled for something-anything-to say. "You hungry?"
Al nodded. "A little," he said. "I'm glad you wanted to come out for lunch. Good timing."
"I'm glad you agreed to come with me," said Danny. "Good company."
His mind reeled with embarrassment at his own words-stupid, stupid, stupid!- but Al looked happy, at his words. Honestly happy.
The bounce was back in his step, when the light changed and they crossed the street.
Danny was glad to see it.
~*~*~*~
They'd barely spoken, over lunch, Al's attention consumed almost entirely by the sandwich and bowl of soup he'd ordered. Danny watched him eat, pleased by the boy's presence, by the obvious pleasure he was taking in his food, and didn't mind the silence. Al put him at ease, made him feel comfortable with the silence, something he'd never felt on a date, before.
Not that those other dates really counted, he corrected himself. And this isn't a date, either. Not really.
All the same, he was content to sit and eat his own lunch and watch Al eat, watch the boy reach up to tuck his unruly bangs behind his ear every few minutes, the motion more a reflex than anything else.
Only when Al's bowl was empty, his plate occupied only by a few saltine crackers, did the boy speak, a serious expression on his face.
"I'm not going to pass the Exam, Danny," he said, quietly.
Danny blinked at him, surprised. "I'm sure you will, Alphonse," he said, gently, resting his hand atop Al's, fingertips rubbing the back of the boy's hand. "You're so smart, and you've been working so hard, there's no way you won't-"
"No," said Al, shaking his head, dislodging his bangs from their place behind his ear. "It's not that. I know I could pass it, if I wanted to. I'm not going to pass the Exam on purpose, Danny. I'm going to fail it. Intentionally."
"Oh," said Danny. He hesitated a moment. "Al?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't have to answer this, if you don't want to," said Danny, slowly, "but ... why put yourself through all this stuff, through all the stress of preparing, if you're not planning to pass?"
Al slouched a little. "You'll think I'm awful, if I tell you."
Danny shook his head. "No, I won't," he said. "I swear."
Al looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "Okay," he said. "Since you swore, I'll tell you."
He took a deep breath, tapping the cracker he'd nibbled against the edge of his plate. "Back when I applied to take the Exam, I did want to pass it. Fletcher and I both did, thought it'd be a good way to accomplish our goals. He wants to do research into medicinal plants, you know, but it's really expensive to do that kind of work without a grant, and it's nearly impossible to get a grant like that unless you're affiliated with a big corporation."
"Or enlisted in the Military," said Danny.
"Exactly," said Al. "So that's why he's taking it. And as for me ... well, you know what I want to research. Same thing Brother worked on, years ago, just I want to go at it from a political position. I've got plenty of information, too, I could get really far, but any civilian doing that will be silenced the minute he starts getting too close to any kind of truth. I'm not so naïve that I don't know that."
Danny shivered. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, you're probably right."
Al nodded. "So Fletch and I decided we'd take the Exam so we could get the Military's protection and funding for our work."
"Makes sense," said Danny.
Al shrugged and picked up one of the crackers that had come with his soup, nibbling at the edge just enough to leave crumbs on his lips. "We thought so, too," he said, licking the crumbs away.
Danny couldn't help but stare, momentarily distracted by the movement of Al's tongue. His attention snapped back to the conversation when Al's words sank in.
Al didn't seem to notice. "But then," he continued, "all this shit-sorry, all this stuff-with my brother started, and ..." He sighed, tapping the cracker against his plate. "It's kind of complicated."
"Important things always are," said Danny, gently.
"Mmm-hmm," said Al. "That's true."
He took another bite of the cracker, drank some tea, slow and methodical under Danny's patient gaze. Al never rushed things, Danny had learnt over the weeks they'd been together. Always took things slowly, thought through everything he did before doing it.
Danny loved that about him.
Al finished eating his cracker and wiped his mouth, staring intently at the space on the table between his own dishes and Danny's. "It's all my brother's fault," he said. "Seems like everything is, sometimes. But this time, it really is his fault."
"I believe that," said Danny, without thinking. He felt his face heat. "I mean, um ... that is ..."
Al looked up at Danny through his shaggy bangs, the corners of his mouth tugging a little in a smile. "Thanks," he said. "I needed to hear that."
Danny blushed even worse, shoulders slumping. "Didn't mean that quite like it came out," he mumbled.
"Doesn't matter," said Al. "It's still Brother's fault. He pitched this huge tantrum about me taking the Exam, even though Fletcher and Winry and Russel all said they thought it was a good idea for me to try for it. He doesn't listen to them any better than he listens to me, don't know why any of us thought he would."
He frowned and picked up another cracker, scraping the salt crystals off with his thumbnail. "And then," he said, "Brother started coming up with all these reasons why I shouldn't go for Certification, but this time, some of them were actually good reasons. Made it so that, now, I either have to back down and let him win-which I never do-or so that I have to go through with something that's probably a big mistake. It's just not fair for him to do that to me."
He looked so honestly upset, hunched in on himself like a sulking cat, that Danny couldn't help but chuckle softly, clearing his throat when Al glared up at him.
"Sorry," he said. "I'm not laughing at you. Promise."
"Oh I don't mind if you laugh at me," said Al. "It's silly, I know. Stupid to be too proud to back down ... which I’m not, usually. Just with my brother."
Danny nodded. "I know," he said. "Your brother's the same way. Especially when it's you he's dealing with."
Al softened a little. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Al reached out, gripping Danny's hand, hard, fingers bunching the fabric of the older man's uniform. "Tell me?"
Danny took a drink of his coffee, pulling his other hand out from under Al's well enough to lace their fingers together. "Sure," he said.
"Maria and I had been assigned to keep an eye on you and Edward for about a week, when a little kitten showed up outside your dormitory. Little caramel-colored thing, kind of scraggly. You wanted to keep it, but your brother flatly refused ... had to, because pets aren't allowed in the dorms. I think you'd wanted to adopt a kitten, before, from the things you two said when you fought about it. Edward ended up winning, of course, which made you pretty unhappy."
Al blushed and fidgeted a little, fingers nervously petting Danny's knuckles. Danny gave his hand a squeeze.
"About a week later," he said, "Maria and I were ordered to switch from watching you two as a team to taking solo guard shifts, looking after you one at a time. Things had been pretty quiet-no new attacks or sightings of Scar-so it made sense to do it that way. I had the night shift, which meant sitting in the hallway outside your room, ready to alert the outside guards if anything happened. It was, ah ... not the most stimulating job in the world."
Al grinned. "You fell asleep, didn't you?" he said.
Danny colored up. "Yeah," he said. "Which would've been okay, I guess ... except you caught me sleeping. Woke me up, scared me so badly that I fell out of my chair."
"I'm sorry!" said Al, eyes going wide.
Danny laughed. "Don't be. Besides, you apologized plenty, that night. I was really embarrassed, but you seemed to think it was perfectly fine for me to be sleeping on duty."
"Well it's not like Brother and I can't defend ourselves," said Al. "Especially considering how I was, physically, back then. From what I've read, we were pretty well unstoppable."
"You said pretty much the same, that night," said Danny. "But still. If it had been your brother, I never would've heard the end of it. Probably would have been removed from duty for it." He saw the look on Al's face and quickly added: "Would have deserved it, too."
Al scowled. "Then I'm glad it was me who found you," he said, darkly. "We were lucky to have such a nice guy working with us. I don't think we had many nice people around us, Back Then."
"You'd be surprised," said Danny, gently. "I'm not sure how well Edward knew, but General Mustang and his men loved you, very much. Both of you."
"Brother probably knew," said Al. "He just has a weird way of showing that he cares back."
Danny chuckled and picked up his coffee, draining the last bit left in the bottom. "That's very true," he said.
"So what happened about the kitten?" said Al, eyes round with curiosity, once again. "Was I sneaking out to feed her, when I woke you?"
"Mmm," said Danny. "Maybe. I don't think so, though. You said you'd come out to talk to me. That you were worried about your brother."
Al nodded. "That happens quite a lot, actually," he said.
"I can imagine," said Danny.
"What was I worried about?"
His fingers were cold. Danny moved his hand, cupping his palm around them to warm them.
"You said that you'd noticed," said Danny, "that your brother was injured. That he'd been favoring his good arm, but that he wouldn't let you take a look at it when you asked about it. You said that you'd been watching him and that you'd noticed, while he was sleeping, that it wasn't just his arm that was hurt, but his belly, too. Covered in really deep cuts, all over him. You were worried he'd been hurting himself, said you'd found a book in the library that talked about teenagers with a lot of emotional pain in their past cutting themselves as self-punishment, and you were afraid Edward had been doing the same."
Al's brow furrowed. "Didn't it occur to me that he was probably just sneaking out to feed the cat, and was getting scratched up in the process?"
"Nope," said Danny. "Didn't occur to me, either, but you're right, that's exactly what was going on. We didn't find that out until morning, when Edward woke up and freaked out because you weren't in the room. He made it halfway down the hall before he realized you were calling to him, chasing after him."
"That's Brother for you," said Al, with a sigh.
Danny smiled and tightened his hand around Al's fingers. They were warmer, now, against his palm. "It was hilarious, watching Edward tell you what was really going on," he said. "He had to tell us, you and me, that it was the cat, scratching him up ... we didn't figure it out on our own. He kept shouting that if you'd not been so upset about not getting to keep the kitten, he could've taken you with him whenever he sneaked out to feed her. Then when Maria showed up and found out he'd been sneaking away while we were supposed to be watching him, she started yelling ... it was quite a mess."
He looked at Al, face falling at the expression on the younger man's face.
"Al?" he said. "You okay?"
Slowly, Al nodded. "Just thinking," he said, "how similar it is."
"Huh?"
"How Brother acted about the cat," said Al. "Too proud to just tell me that he wanted the cat, too. Ended up putting himself at risk, getting himself hurt and in trouble ... Danny I'm doing the same thing, with this Exam. The same thing."
"No," said Danny, shaking his head. "What you're dealing with is a lot more serious than your brother sneaking out of the showers in nothing but a towel to go feed table scraps to a wild stray, Al. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not trying to make light of the situation. Really, I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize, Danny," said Al. "It's okay, not your fault that we're both stubborn. I mean, I could just tell Brother that he's right, that I shouldn't Test, but also tell him that I've decided on my own not to take the Exam. Let him decide if he wants to be mature, or if he wants to be a brat about it."
He wiggled his hand free of Danny's and rose, nervously straightening the front of his sweater. "We should go," he said. "I'm still doing research, even though I'm not planning to pass the Exam. I should get back to it."
Danny stood as well, picking up the tabs for their lunches before Al could. "Let me," he said, when Al frowned and reached for his check. "Please."
"You don't have to buy me lunch, because of this, Danny," said Al, holding out his hand. "Please. My pride's taken enough of a beating lately. I don't need your pity, too."
Danny winced. "You don't have my pity, Al," he said, quietly. "You never have."
Al let him pay without argument.
~*~*~*~
The walk back to the library was tense, Al's usual energetic chatter replaced with a brittle silence that made Danny feel horribly awkward, as though every person who passed them could tell that it was his fault Al was upset, that he'd managed to ruin the first date.
Not even a real date, he corrected himself, watching Al shiver as they waited for the light to change.
The thought didn't make him feel any better.
Together, they climbed the long flight of marble steps leading up to the front entrance of the library, Al's ponytail whipping in the cold afternoon breeze. A few strands of his hair caught on his lower lip when he turned to slip inside the library, Danny holding the door for him, and it was all the older man could do to keep from reaching out to brush them away.
In the quiet of the stairwell, halfway between the ground floor and the upper stacks, where Al had been working, Al stopped and turned, close enough that Danny took a step back, startled.
"I'm sorry," Al said, simply.
Danny blinked at him. "For what?"
Al shrugged. "For freaking out over your story," said Al. "For pouting like a little kid, all the way back here. I was the one who asked you to tell me about Brother, after all, and I appreciate you telling me your story. Really, I do."
He looked pained, almost identical to the look his older brother made whenever someone offered him a glass of milk.
Just when it's Al, thought Danny, it's cute.
He sighed and reached out, touching Al's hair, the curve of Al's cheek. "I really didn't mean to offend you," he said. "I just ... it just seems funny, to me, that your brother was too proud to tell you that he wanted to keep that kitten just as badly as you did. And now, he's too proud to back down and let you make a decision about this exam, so you're out here, getting all scratched up by ..." He frowned. "Well the metaphor doesn't quite work, but ... you know what I mean."
"Yes," said Al. "I do." He cocked his head. "Why are you taking my side, Danny?"
Danny blushed. "I don't know," he said.
Al fidgeted. "Shouldn't you want to hear Brother's side of the story?"
"I'm a little biased, I guess," said Danny, "since I've watched how hard you've been working. I can see how hard this is on you." And I've got a crush on you like you wouldn't believe. That's probably got a lot to do with it, too.
"Oh," said Al. "Well, thanks. I know it's dumb, but I really needed that, today."
Danny smiled. "Anytime," he said.
"And Danny?"
"Yeah?"
Al bit his lip, cheeks warming a little, even in the dim light of the stairwell. "After the Exam's over, when I'm ... well, when I'm a little more normal than I am now ... would you maybe want to go for lunch together, again? As friends, I mean, if you don't, um ..."
Danny's heart missed a beat. "Yes," he said, before he could convince himself that he'd imagined Al's words. "Yes, I would love to, Al."
Al grinned and arched up and forward, kissing Danny awkwardly on the side of the mouth, so quick that he was pulling away before Danny could purse his lips properly and kiss back. Blushing, he took Danny's hand in his own and gave it a squeeze, holding tightly as he turned and began climbing the stairs, once again, Danny grinning behind him all the way up to the stacks.
~*~*~*~
At age twenty, Al was finally going to go on his first date.
Danny couldn't wait.
~*~
As always, crossposted to fma_yaoi and al_danny. You know you wanna join the second one ... c'mon ...
This fits in between chapter one and chapter two of Empty Nest, if anyone's wondering, but can easily stand alone.
Enjoy! ♥♥♥
[EDIT]: Goodness, I swore I'd not do the same thing to Empty Nest that I did to Domesticity, but I've gone and done it. v_v;; Therefore, this is now chapter 1.5 of Empty Nest. The Muses insisted.
another edit: Why didn't anyone tell me that I'd put this in the wrong place? It should be 1.5, not 2.5! >_<
The whole arc is here:
Prologue: Prodigal Sons
Chapter 1: Awakening
[Chapter 1.5: A Matter of Pride]
Chapter 2: True Test
Chapter 3: Amestris Pie
Chapter 4: Waiting
Chapter 5: Allowance
Chapter 6: Change
Chapter 7: Truce
Chapter 8: Out Alone
Chapter 9: Growing Pains
Chapter 10: Resentment
Chapter 11: Back to Normal
Chapter 12: Perspective
Chapter 13: Understanding
Chapter 14: Distraction
Chapter 15: Silence
Chapter 16: Choose
Chapter 17: Bonds
Chapter 18: Healing
Chapter 19: Nesting
Chapter 20: The Morning After
Chapter 21: Reaction
Chapter 22: Aftershocks
Chapter 23: Goodbye
Chapter 24: Memory
Epilogue: Family
A Matter of Pride
by Mistr3ss Quickly
It's either real or it's a dream;
There's nothing that is in between.
Twilight: I only meant to stay awhile
Twilight: I gave you time to steal my mind away from me.
You brought me here, but can you take me back again?
~"Twilight" by Electric Light Orchestra
At the age of twenty-six, Danny Broche was on his first date.
Well, technically, it was his third, but it was so unlike the other dates he'd been on that Danny hardly thought it counted. This date, Danny had been brave enough to ask for, himself, and genuinely wanted to be on.
It's as different from those other dates as Al is from his older brother, he thought, surreptitiously watching Al gyrate slowly back and forth to a tune only Al could hear, the boy's knees bending in time with his hips as he stood beside Danny, waiting for the stoplight to change. He was pale-too many days spent in the library, away from the sun-and his cheeks were oddly flushed. Chilled, Danny supposed, in the sharp wind whipping around the corner of the bank, and he was tempted to pull Al close, perhaps drape his scarf around the boy's neck to keep him warm.
Not on the first date, though. Danny wasn't honestly certain that it was a date, even.
Whatever it was, he was happy about it. Thrilled to be out with Alphonse on what could be considered a date, away from books and orders and duty to the State.
Al shivered and sunk his hands into his pockets, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and chewing on it, a habit Danny had watched him develop over the past few weeks, when the studying had gone from serious to intense, Al sleeping less and worrying more.
He was cute. Innocent and handsome in a way Edward never had been. Danny bit the inside of his own lip, trying not to smile at the thought of such a good-looking young man being out. With him. On what might or might not be a date.
The light changed and Al moved forward, walking with a bounce in his step.
"Thanks for coming out with me, Danny," he said, once they'd crossed the street, Danny motioning to the right, when Al looked up at him for direction. "I know I should be studying right now, but ... I just can't. Not right now."
Danny nodded. "Perfectly understandable, Alphon-Al." He blushed. "Sorry."
"It's fine," said Al. "You can still call my 'Alphonse,' if you want. I don't mind my full name, just it's kinda long. 'Al' is easier, don't you think?"
"Mmm-hmm," said Danny. "Your full name's nice, though. Unique. I've never met anyone with your name, before."
Al's eyes went wide. "Neither have I," he said, "but my brother has. He had a friend named Alfons, only difference was in the spelling. He spelled it A-L-F-O-N-S instead of A-L-P-H-O-N-S-E."
"Really?" said Danny. "Huh."
They stopped to wait for another light, just across the street from the deli Danny had invited Al to for lunch. He watched Al out of the corner of his eye, watched the boy rock back and forth on the balls of his feet, chewing his lip once again.
He looked sad. Deflated, somehow.
Ah, thought Danny. His brother. Sore topic, right now.
He tried to think of something to say, anything to cheer Al up, but the only thing that came to mind were platitudes about how Things Would Get Better between Al and his older brother, how Everything Would Turn Out Okay Eventually.
Al was smart enough to know that, Danny knew. Pointing them out would be a waste of time, and likely just make the boy feel worse.
"Hey," he said, nudging the bulky sleeve of Al's jacket with the back of his wrist.
Al smiled up at him, a fake smile that was obviously meant as a cover. "Yeah?"
Danny scrambled for something-anything-to say. "You hungry?"
Al nodded. "A little," he said. "I'm glad you wanted to come out for lunch. Good timing."
"I'm glad you agreed to come with me," said Danny. "Good company."
His mind reeled with embarrassment at his own words-stupid, stupid, stupid!- but Al looked happy, at his words. Honestly happy.
The bounce was back in his step, when the light changed and they crossed the street.
Danny was glad to see it.
~*~*~*~
They'd barely spoken, over lunch, Al's attention consumed almost entirely by the sandwich and bowl of soup he'd ordered. Danny watched him eat, pleased by the boy's presence, by the obvious pleasure he was taking in his food, and didn't mind the silence. Al put him at ease, made him feel comfortable with the silence, something he'd never felt on a date, before.
Not that those other dates really counted, he corrected himself. And this isn't a date, either. Not really.
All the same, he was content to sit and eat his own lunch and watch Al eat, watch the boy reach up to tuck his unruly bangs behind his ear every few minutes, the motion more a reflex than anything else.
Only when Al's bowl was empty, his plate occupied only by a few saltine crackers, did the boy speak, a serious expression on his face.
"I'm not going to pass the Exam, Danny," he said, quietly.
Danny blinked at him, surprised. "I'm sure you will, Alphonse," he said, gently, resting his hand atop Al's, fingertips rubbing the back of the boy's hand. "You're so smart, and you've been working so hard, there's no way you won't-"
"No," said Al, shaking his head, dislodging his bangs from their place behind his ear. "It's not that. I know I could pass it, if I wanted to. I'm not going to pass the Exam on purpose, Danny. I'm going to fail it. Intentionally."
"Oh," said Danny. He hesitated a moment. "Al?"
"Yeah?"
"You don't have to answer this, if you don't want to," said Danny, slowly, "but ... why put yourself through all this stuff, through all the stress of preparing, if you're not planning to pass?"
Al slouched a little. "You'll think I'm awful, if I tell you."
Danny shook his head. "No, I won't," he said. "I swear."
Al looked at him for a moment, then nodded. "Okay," he said. "Since you swore, I'll tell you."
He took a deep breath, tapping the cracker he'd nibbled against the edge of his plate. "Back when I applied to take the Exam, I did want to pass it. Fletcher and I both did, thought it'd be a good way to accomplish our goals. He wants to do research into medicinal plants, you know, but it's really expensive to do that kind of work without a grant, and it's nearly impossible to get a grant like that unless you're affiliated with a big corporation."
"Or enlisted in the Military," said Danny.
"Exactly," said Al. "So that's why he's taking it. And as for me ... well, you know what I want to research. Same thing Brother worked on, years ago, just I want to go at it from a political position. I've got plenty of information, too, I could get really far, but any civilian doing that will be silenced the minute he starts getting too close to any kind of truth. I'm not so naïve that I don't know that."
Danny shivered. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, you're probably right."
Al nodded. "So Fletch and I decided we'd take the Exam so we could get the Military's protection and funding for our work."
"Makes sense," said Danny.
Al shrugged and picked up one of the crackers that had come with his soup, nibbling at the edge just enough to leave crumbs on his lips. "We thought so, too," he said, licking the crumbs away.
Danny couldn't help but stare, momentarily distracted by the movement of Al's tongue. His attention snapped back to the conversation when Al's words sank in.
Al didn't seem to notice. "But then," he continued, "all this shit-sorry, all this stuff-with my brother started, and ..." He sighed, tapping the cracker against his plate. "It's kind of complicated."
"Important things always are," said Danny, gently.
"Mmm-hmm," said Al. "That's true."
He took another bite of the cracker, drank some tea, slow and methodical under Danny's patient gaze. Al never rushed things, Danny had learnt over the weeks they'd been together. Always took things slowly, thought through everything he did before doing it.
Danny loved that about him.
Al finished eating his cracker and wiped his mouth, staring intently at the space on the table between his own dishes and Danny's. "It's all my brother's fault," he said. "Seems like everything is, sometimes. But this time, it really is his fault."
"I believe that," said Danny, without thinking. He felt his face heat. "I mean, um ... that is ..."
Al looked up at Danny through his shaggy bangs, the corners of his mouth tugging a little in a smile. "Thanks," he said. "I needed to hear that."
Danny blushed even worse, shoulders slumping. "Didn't mean that quite like it came out," he mumbled.
"Doesn't matter," said Al. "It's still Brother's fault. He pitched this huge tantrum about me taking the Exam, even though Fletcher and Winry and Russel all said they thought it was a good idea for me to try for it. He doesn't listen to them any better than he listens to me, don't know why any of us thought he would."
He frowned and picked up another cracker, scraping the salt crystals off with his thumbnail. "And then," he said, "Brother started coming up with all these reasons why I shouldn't go for Certification, but this time, some of them were actually good reasons. Made it so that, now, I either have to back down and let him win-which I never do-or so that I have to go through with something that's probably a big mistake. It's just not fair for him to do that to me."
He looked so honestly upset, hunched in on himself like a sulking cat, that Danny couldn't help but chuckle softly, clearing his throat when Al glared up at him.
"Sorry," he said. "I'm not laughing at you. Promise."
"Oh I don't mind if you laugh at me," said Al. "It's silly, I know. Stupid to be too proud to back down ... which I’m not, usually. Just with my brother."
Danny nodded. "I know," he said. "Your brother's the same way. Especially when it's you he's dealing with."
Al softened a little. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Al reached out, gripping Danny's hand, hard, fingers bunching the fabric of the older man's uniform. "Tell me?"
Danny took a drink of his coffee, pulling his other hand out from under Al's well enough to lace their fingers together. "Sure," he said.
"Maria and I had been assigned to keep an eye on you and Edward for about a week, when a little kitten showed up outside your dormitory. Little caramel-colored thing, kind of scraggly. You wanted to keep it, but your brother flatly refused ... had to, because pets aren't allowed in the dorms. I think you'd wanted to adopt a kitten, before, from the things you two said when you fought about it. Edward ended up winning, of course, which made you pretty unhappy."
Al blushed and fidgeted a little, fingers nervously petting Danny's knuckles. Danny gave his hand a squeeze.
"About a week later," he said, "Maria and I were ordered to switch from watching you two as a team to taking solo guard shifts, looking after you one at a time. Things had been pretty quiet-no new attacks or sightings of Scar-so it made sense to do it that way. I had the night shift, which meant sitting in the hallway outside your room, ready to alert the outside guards if anything happened. It was, ah ... not the most stimulating job in the world."
Al grinned. "You fell asleep, didn't you?" he said.
Danny colored up. "Yeah," he said. "Which would've been okay, I guess ... except you caught me sleeping. Woke me up, scared me so badly that I fell out of my chair."
"I'm sorry!" said Al, eyes going wide.
Danny laughed. "Don't be. Besides, you apologized plenty, that night. I was really embarrassed, but you seemed to think it was perfectly fine for me to be sleeping on duty."
"Well it's not like Brother and I can't defend ourselves," said Al. "Especially considering how I was, physically, back then. From what I've read, we were pretty well unstoppable."
"You said pretty much the same, that night," said Danny. "But still. If it had been your brother, I never would've heard the end of it. Probably would have been removed from duty for it." He saw the look on Al's face and quickly added: "Would have deserved it, too."
Al scowled. "Then I'm glad it was me who found you," he said, darkly. "We were lucky to have such a nice guy working with us. I don't think we had many nice people around us, Back Then."
"You'd be surprised," said Danny, gently. "I'm not sure how well Edward knew, but General Mustang and his men loved you, very much. Both of you."
"Brother probably knew," said Al. "He just has a weird way of showing that he cares back."
Danny chuckled and picked up his coffee, draining the last bit left in the bottom. "That's very true," he said.
"So what happened about the kitten?" said Al, eyes round with curiosity, once again. "Was I sneaking out to feed her, when I woke you?"
"Mmm," said Danny. "Maybe. I don't think so, though. You said you'd come out to talk to me. That you were worried about your brother."
Al nodded. "That happens quite a lot, actually," he said.
"I can imagine," said Danny.
"What was I worried about?"
His fingers were cold. Danny moved his hand, cupping his palm around them to warm them.
"You said that you'd noticed," said Danny, "that your brother was injured. That he'd been favoring his good arm, but that he wouldn't let you take a look at it when you asked about it. You said that you'd been watching him and that you'd noticed, while he was sleeping, that it wasn't just his arm that was hurt, but his belly, too. Covered in really deep cuts, all over him. You were worried he'd been hurting himself, said you'd found a book in the library that talked about teenagers with a lot of emotional pain in their past cutting themselves as self-punishment, and you were afraid Edward had been doing the same."
Al's brow furrowed. "Didn't it occur to me that he was probably just sneaking out to feed the cat, and was getting scratched up in the process?"
"Nope," said Danny. "Didn't occur to me, either, but you're right, that's exactly what was going on. We didn't find that out until morning, when Edward woke up and freaked out because you weren't in the room. He made it halfway down the hall before he realized you were calling to him, chasing after him."
"That's Brother for you," said Al, with a sigh.
Danny smiled and tightened his hand around Al's fingers. They were warmer, now, against his palm. "It was hilarious, watching Edward tell you what was really going on," he said. "He had to tell us, you and me, that it was the cat, scratching him up ... we didn't figure it out on our own. He kept shouting that if you'd not been so upset about not getting to keep the kitten, he could've taken you with him whenever he sneaked out to feed her. Then when Maria showed up and found out he'd been sneaking away while we were supposed to be watching him, she started yelling ... it was quite a mess."
He looked at Al, face falling at the expression on the younger man's face.
"Al?" he said. "You okay?"
Slowly, Al nodded. "Just thinking," he said, "how similar it is."
"Huh?"
"How Brother acted about the cat," said Al. "Too proud to just tell me that he wanted the cat, too. Ended up putting himself at risk, getting himself hurt and in trouble ... Danny I'm doing the same thing, with this Exam. The same thing."
"No," said Danny, shaking his head. "What you're dealing with is a lot more serious than your brother sneaking out of the showers in nothing but a towel to go feed table scraps to a wild stray, Al. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm not trying to make light of the situation. Really, I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize, Danny," said Al. "It's okay, not your fault that we're both stubborn. I mean, I could just tell Brother that he's right, that I shouldn't Test, but also tell him that I've decided on my own not to take the Exam. Let him decide if he wants to be mature, or if he wants to be a brat about it."
He wiggled his hand free of Danny's and rose, nervously straightening the front of his sweater. "We should go," he said. "I'm still doing research, even though I'm not planning to pass the Exam. I should get back to it."
Danny stood as well, picking up the tabs for their lunches before Al could. "Let me," he said, when Al frowned and reached for his check. "Please."
"You don't have to buy me lunch, because of this, Danny," said Al, holding out his hand. "Please. My pride's taken enough of a beating lately. I don't need your pity, too."
Danny winced. "You don't have my pity, Al," he said, quietly. "You never have."
Al let him pay without argument.
~*~*~*~
The walk back to the library was tense, Al's usual energetic chatter replaced with a brittle silence that made Danny feel horribly awkward, as though every person who passed them could tell that it was his fault Al was upset, that he'd managed to ruin the first date.
Not even a real date, he corrected himself, watching Al shiver as they waited for the light to change.
The thought didn't make him feel any better.
Together, they climbed the long flight of marble steps leading up to the front entrance of the library, Al's ponytail whipping in the cold afternoon breeze. A few strands of his hair caught on his lower lip when he turned to slip inside the library, Danny holding the door for him, and it was all the older man could do to keep from reaching out to brush them away.
In the quiet of the stairwell, halfway between the ground floor and the upper stacks, where Al had been working, Al stopped and turned, close enough that Danny took a step back, startled.
"I'm sorry," Al said, simply.
Danny blinked at him. "For what?"
Al shrugged. "For freaking out over your story," said Al. "For pouting like a little kid, all the way back here. I was the one who asked you to tell me about Brother, after all, and I appreciate you telling me your story. Really, I do."
He looked pained, almost identical to the look his older brother made whenever someone offered him a glass of milk.
Just when it's Al, thought Danny, it's cute.
He sighed and reached out, touching Al's hair, the curve of Al's cheek. "I really didn't mean to offend you," he said. "I just ... it just seems funny, to me, that your brother was too proud to tell you that he wanted to keep that kitten just as badly as you did. And now, he's too proud to back down and let you make a decision about this exam, so you're out here, getting all scratched up by ..." He frowned. "Well the metaphor doesn't quite work, but ... you know what I mean."
"Yes," said Al. "I do." He cocked his head. "Why are you taking my side, Danny?"
Danny blushed. "I don't know," he said.
Al fidgeted. "Shouldn't you want to hear Brother's side of the story?"
"I'm a little biased, I guess," said Danny, "since I've watched how hard you've been working. I can see how hard this is on you." And I've got a crush on you like you wouldn't believe. That's probably got a lot to do with it, too.
"Oh," said Al. "Well, thanks. I know it's dumb, but I really needed that, today."
Danny smiled. "Anytime," he said.
"And Danny?"
"Yeah?"
Al bit his lip, cheeks warming a little, even in the dim light of the stairwell. "After the Exam's over, when I'm ... well, when I'm a little more normal than I am now ... would you maybe want to go for lunch together, again? As friends, I mean, if you don't, um ..."
Danny's heart missed a beat. "Yes," he said, before he could convince himself that he'd imagined Al's words. "Yes, I would love to, Al."
Al grinned and arched up and forward, kissing Danny awkwardly on the side of the mouth, so quick that he was pulling away before Danny could purse his lips properly and kiss back. Blushing, he took Danny's hand in his own and gave it a squeeze, holding tightly as he turned and began climbing the stairs, once again, Danny grinning behind him all the way up to the stacks.
~*~*~*~
At age twenty, Al was finally going to go on his first date.
Danny couldn't wait.
~*~
As always, crossposted to fma_yaoi and al_danny. You know you wanna join the second one ... c'mon ...