Erase the nightmares: Chapter II
Title: Erase the nightmares: Chapter II
Author: Me, mistake_arrest
Beta: The lovely and amazing shayunknown <3
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: PG-13 for now
Warnings: Language, dark themes I guess if you're easily offended? Nothing graphic in this chapter.
Summary: AU series. Matthew works as a waiter, and he has recently got out of an abusive relationship. Could Dominic help him get over his fear of falling in love again?
Feedback: Is greatly appreciated! Tell me what you think about this :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Matt, Dom, Chris, or Tom, or any other recognizable characters in this story. This is pure fiction.
Previous parts:
Prologue
Chapter I
Dom’s POV
I closed the door of the record store after my last customer had left and headed straight home. I had to hurry up to get ready for the party Tom had organised or I’d be late.
It was yet another cold evening, the weather having got chillier and chillier by the day as the autumn proceeded to puff its cool breaths around the country.
Pulling the collar of my leather jacket higher up around my neck, I hurried towards my flat. When I stepped in, I was greeted by an apartment almost equally cold with the weather outside - or so it felt to me, anyway. Rubbing my cold arms with my hands, I went to turn the temperature up. A cold was the last thing I wanted right now.
I tossed my grey messenger bag on the sofa and sat down beside it, raising my still shoe-clad feet up to rest them on the coffee table. What I would give for a good, long foot massage right now, I thought and rubbed my fingers up and down my ankles that were sore from standing all day in the shop.
A part of me just wanted to curl up on the shag rug by the fireplace, wrapped in warm blankets and a steaming mug of hot chocolate in my hands. A promise was a promise, though, and I was sure Tom would be disappointed if I didn’t show up.
It wasn’t like I had anywhere else to be that night, anyway. What would I have done if I wasn’t going to that party? Made a booty call to one of my one night acquaintances who had, for some reason or another, given me their number? Asked one of my friends to come and watch a movie with me? Called my mum?
I wouldn’t say I was lonely. Quite the opposite, actually. There was always someone I could call, always someone who was willing to spend time with me. But lately I had started to crave for something else, something more.
Among my friends I was known for my habit of satisfying my longing for closeness with one-night stands, rather than trying to establish something more with anyone. Recently, though, I had started to feel like it could be quite nice to have someone to be with. To have someone stable in my life instead of faceless, nameless fucks.
Someone to lie wrapped in blankets in front of the fireplace with.
Sighing, I tried to get rid of those thoughts and suddenly realised that I would soon be late if I didn’t hurry up.
After a hot shower I was standing by my closet where I kept all the billions of clothes I owned. Wearing just a towel around my waist, I rummaged through the overstuffed wardrobe in search of something decent to wear.
I knew this party was not about hooking up with anyone, but I liked to look presentable wherever I went. It was something my friends had repeatedly teased me about at school, but I hadn’t cared. If I didn’t want to look like I’d just spent my night in a dumpster, it was my business, not anyone else’s.
Garment after garment went flying across the room until I settled in simple black skinny jeans and a plain white V-neck tee. The casual but stylish outfit was completed with a new leopard print belt I’d bought the other day, and black Converse.
Satisfied with my clothes, I spent the next eternity doing my hair, until I realised I was already late and had to get moving.
_________
I could already hear the faint thumping of music blasting from Tom’s flat when I rang his doorbell. Grinning, he opened the door and waved with his hand, motioning for me to step inside.
“Dooom! I almost thought you wouldn’t come! Please, step in.” And with that he swung around on his heels and walked further in, me following close behind. I saw many familiar faces when we walked through Tom’s living room, and received friendly greetings and pats on my back.
There was Morgan, who played bass for a local punk band called Resistance, and his band mate Andy - I think he played drums. I also saw Rich, who used to be a singer in a rock cover band when he was younger, but now he was a roadie for Uno, a jazz band from a neighbouring town. I occasionally filled in for Uno’s drummer when they were touring, but since I already had a job I loved, I tried to keep it just as a hobby.
I could also see a couple of people who I recognised but didn’t know their names - they were mainly from music circles and one or two people from Tom’s workplace.
Chris was also there: he was sitting on the sofa with a distraught looking, smaller man. The other man looked skinny and frail, but when he turned his face towards me I noticed he had one of the most beautiful pairs of piercing blue eyes I had ever seen.
His skin was as pale as porcelain and his hollow cheeks accentuated his stunning cheekbones. His raven black hair was all mussed up in a way that made me want to run my fingers through the longish strands.
He must be Matthew.
I didn’t usually go for men who were smaller than me, but I had to admit that there was something really intriguing about this guy. His features were really quirky but when put together like that, they created a fascinating combination.
The man looked a little bit nervous and I could tell why Chris had said he needed to go out - he looked like he’d been locked in a cage for ages and had just recently been let out.
Fidgeting with the collar of his bright pink t-shirt, he turned his attention to Chris for a moment as he said something to the smaller man. Turning his head to face me again, his widened eyes followed me as I walked towards Chris and him, my hand extended in front of me to greet him.
I flashed him my friendliest smile, and my heart jumped from joy when he - although a little bit reluctantly - grabbed my hand and shook it, a curious hint of a smile trying to fight its way up from the corners of his lips.
“Hey, I don’t think we have met. I’m Dominic, but everybody just calls me Dom. Except for mum, who insists on calling me Munchkin.” I let out a laugh at my own stupid attempt at a joke.
God, he must think I’m a total idiot.
He smiled, actually smiled this time. It was one of those really shy smiles, and I didn’t think I had seen anything so cute for a long time. “I’m Matthew. Nice to meet you, Dom.” He looked me in the eyes and despite his smile I could see something sad in that azure gaze.
I wondered what his story was.
“Dom, come in the kitchen if you want a beer!” Tom’s shout startled me and I excused myself, heading into the kitchen where Tom was rummaging through his fridge, and Morgan was busy pouring shots for himself and some of his mates.
Finally, Tom found what he had been looking for and opened two bottles, handing one to me and taking a long gulp from the other himself. He leaned his back against the kitchen counter and nodded towards the living room.
“I see you met Matt already?”
I nodded, smiling. “Yeah, I did. He seems quite nice, although I didn’t really get to talk to him yet.” I rubbed the side of the bottle against my chin thoughtfully and stepped aside when Morgan walked past me to the living room, full shot glasses in his hands. “He seemed a little nervous to me. Is he antisocial or something?”
Tom laughed, his head tipped back. He took another swig of his bottle. “No, he’s not antisocial. Not normally, anyway.” Tom snagged his lower lip between his teeth and frowned a little bit. “He’s had a bit of a hard time, but please try to see past that. He’s really one of the sweetest, funniest people you’ll ever meet.”
I nodded, taking a long swig of the cold beer. “I’m really curious about what happened to him.”
“I’m afraid you’d have to ask him yourself, then. It’s not my business to tell you.” Tom’s eyes suddenly had a mischievous glint in them. “Why are you so interested, anyway? Oh, please tell me you’re not going to try to hit on him.”
I flashed a wide, toothy smile at that. “Why not? There’s certainly something interesting about him!” I rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand and shrugged. “And, you know..”
“I know what? That you haven’t got laid in ages?”
I shrugged again, but my smile gave me away.
Tom had a serious expression on his face now. “Please, Dom. Promise me you won’t do anything like that. He’s not... you would regret it. Please, don’t ask why, but promise me you’ll keep your hands off of him.”
What the hell has happened to Matthew?
I raised my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I won’t! Jesus.” I excused myself and walked into the living room, finding my way to Morgan and Rich, who were already clearly quite drunk. Morgan clung onto me in a weird attempt of a hug, Rich cackling beside him.
“Dooooom!! Where did you disappear?” I couldn’t help but laugh at him, and soon we engaged in a weird conversation about the most random topics, like funny hats and cactus farming.
I was repeatedly distracted by the slim man in a pink shirt sitting on the sofa, his figure just in the corner of my field of vision.
Matthew was now sitting between Chris and Tom with a beer in his hand, and he didn’t seem nearly as nervous as he’d seemed when I had greeted him. Maybe he’s just shy.
I was enchanted by the way he pinched the bridge of his nose with the tips of his fingers when he seemed to be deep in thought; how his fingers were drumming a rhythm on his thighs when he was waiting for his turn to speak; how his little mouth moved so elegantly when he spoke.
A couple of times when I glanced at him, I could have sworn I caught him looking at me too.
I need to talk to him.
I saw Chris get up from the couch to talk to Andy and Morgan. That was my moment, and I locked eyes with Matthew once again as I advanced him.
“Hey Matthew, do you smoke? Want to go out for a ciggy?” I raised my eyebrows in question and he looked confusedly to his left where Tom was sitting. The journalist shot me a warning glare and I nodded, signalling him that I understood.
I need to keep my hands off of him.
“Erm, I guess that’s okay?” Matthew rubbed his palms back and forth on his thighs and nodded slowly as se said the words.
I gave him a reassuring smile. “Great, let’s go then!”
He followed me to Tom’s backyard and stepped past me to lean his back on the brick wall, his arms crossed over his chest. The streetlight further away cast fascinating shadows on his pale face. He was tilting his head slightly on the right, revealing a smooth patch of skin. I wanted nothing more than to drag my fingers on that expanse and kiss him there, but I had to keep myself together.
Suddenly I was struck by an uncomfortable feeling. I didn’t know what to say! My mouth went dry and all coherent thought left my brain.
Then I heard a faint cough, and I was back on Earth. Matthew nodded towards the front pocket of my jeans, and I could have sworn he blushed a little. “Thought you had some ciggies in there?”
Oh, right. The ciggies.
Now it was my turn to blush. “Yeah, right. Sorry.” I fished the packet from my pocket and reached for my back pocket to grab a lighter from there. “Got a bit distracted by something, I guess. Here you are.” I extended my arm so he could take a cigarette from the packet for himself.
Once we’d both lid our cigarettes, I shuffled a little bit closer to Matthew in order to not be completely in the shadows. I squatted down next to him, resting my head against the cold wall and watched the clouds of smoke escaping my lungs after each inhale.
Neither of us spoke for a long while, but without turning my head I could sense Matthew’s fidgeting. For some reason he seemed really nervous again, and I hated that I didn’t know why. It seemed like a weird topic of conversation to have with someone I’d only just met, so I decided not to ask.
Much to my surprise, Matthew was the one to start talking first.
“Why did you want me here?” He sounded a little bit irritated, but I was just glad he was talking to me.
I glanced upwards and I was met with those piercing eyes once again. In the dim light they looked almost black, and when he noticed I was looking, he quickly turned his head in the other direction.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged and laughed lightly. “I don’t even smoke, really.”
He was still looking away, but I could see him smiling. “Me neither.”
I stubbed out my cigarette and stood up, my knees aching a bit from the squatting. “I guess I just wanted to talk to you. To - to get to know you better, maybe? You’re intriguing.”
Really smooth, Dominic. You are the epitome of subtlety.
I was now facing Matthew, who had stubbed out his cigarette as well and was now leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He was frowning and looking away, teeth nervously gnawing on his lower lip.
“Intriguing?” His sneer was distressed, as if he didn’t know whether to believe me or not. I wanted him to believe, though, and nodded. I also wanted to touch him, so bad, but didn’t think it would be a good idea. I mean, he had been giving me signs all night - or at least I thought he had - but something in his behaviour unsettled me.
It was like he liked me but didn’t want me to get too close. He wouldn’t have come out alone with me if he didn’t like me, right? But still here he was, wrapped in his protective shell with his arms crossed and eyed fixated on anything but me.
I wanted to shake him, tell him he was beautiful and that he was the most fascinating creature I had laid my eyes on for a long time.
“Yeah. Intriguing.”
I managed to smile, and that was when he decided to turn his head and look at me. Straight in the eyes.
At that moment, I felt every ounce of sense I might have had earlier drain away. I stepped much closer, our faces only inches apart. Slowly I raised my right hand and tentatively brushed the backs of my fingers against his cheek. His skin felt a thousand times softer than I had imagined.
I didn’t notice the way he almost stopped breathing, or how he completely froze in place, tensing, when he noticed my hand approaching. Nor did I notice him trying to flinch away from my touch, only to be met with the wall behind him. I certainly misread the shiver that followed the brush of my hand against his skin.
I should have noticed all of those signs, but I didn’t. That’s why what happened next came as a total surprise. Because when I closed my eyes and cupped his cheek with my palm, leaning closer and closer...
*thump*
Matthew had pushed me on the chest with both of his hands, making me fall and land square on my bum.
It took me a couple of seconds to realise what had happened. But when I finally looked up to ask what the fuck was all that about, he was already gone.
Author: Me, mistake_arrest
Beta: The lovely and amazing shayunknown <3
Pairing: Belldom
Rating: PG-13 for now
Warnings: Language, dark themes I guess if you're easily offended? Nothing graphic in this chapter.
Summary: AU series. Matthew works as a waiter, and he has recently got out of an abusive relationship. Could Dominic help him get over his fear of falling in love again?
Feedback: Is greatly appreciated! Tell me what you think about this :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Matt, Dom, Chris, or Tom, or any other recognizable characters in this story. This is pure fiction.
Previous parts:
Prologue
Chapter I
Dom’s POV
I closed the door of the record store after my last customer had left and headed straight home. I had to hurry up to get ready for the party Tom had organised or I’d be late.
It was yet another cold evening, the weather having got chillier and chillier by the day as the autumn proceeded to puff its cool breaths around the country.
Pulling the collar of my leather jacket higher up around my neck, I hurried towards my flat. When I stepped in, I was greeted by an apartment almost equally cold with the weather outside - or so it felt to me, anyway. Rubbing my cold arms with my hands, I went to turn the temperature up. A cold was the last thing I wanted right now.
I tossed my grey messenger bag on the sofa and sat down beside it, raising my still shoe-clad feet up to rest them on the coffee table. What I would give for a good, long foot massage right now, I thought and rubbed my fingers up and down my ankles that were sore from standing all day in the shop.
A part of me just wanted to curl up on the shag rug by the fireplace, wrapped in warm blankets and a steaming mug of hot chocolate in my hands. A promise was a promise, though, and I was sure Tom would be disappointed if I didn’t show up.
It wasn’t like I had anywhere else to be that night, anyway. What would I have done if I wasn’t going to that party? Made a booty call to one of my one night acquaintances who had, for some reason or another, given me their number? Asked one of my friends to come and watch a movie with me? Called my mum?
I wouldn’t say I was lonely. Quite the opposite, actually. There was always someone I could call, always someone who was willing to spend time with me. But lately I had started to crave for something else, something more.
Among my friends I was known for my habit of satisfying my longing for closeness with one-night stands, rather than trying to establish something more with anyone. Recently, though, I had started to feel like it could be quite nice to have someone to be with. To have someone stable in my life instead of faceless, nameless fucks.
Someone to lie wrapped in blankets in front of the fireplace with.
Sighing, I tried to get rid of those thoughts and suddenly realised that I would soon be late if I didn’t hurry up.
After a hot shower I was standing by my closet where I kept all the billions of clothes I owned. Wearing just a towel around my waist, I rummaged through the overstuffed wardrobe in search of something decent to wear.
I knew this party was not about hooking up with anyone, but I liked to look presentable wherever I went. It was something my friends had repeatedly teased me about at school, but I hadn’t cared. If I didn’t want to look like I’d just spent my night in a dumpster, it was my business, not anyone else’s.
Garment after garment went flying across the room until I settled in simple black skinny jeans and a plain white V-neck tee. The casual but stylish outfit was completed with a new leopard print belt I’d bought the other day, and black Converse.
Satisfied with my clothes, I spent the next eternity doing my hair, until I realised I was already late and had to get moving.
_________
I could already hear the faint thumping of music blasting from Tom’s flat when I rang his doorbell. Grinning, he opened the door and waved with his hand, motioning for me to step inside.
“Dooom! I almost thought you wouldn’t come! Please, step in.” And with that he swung around on his heels and walked further in, me following close behind. I saw many familiar faces when we walked through Tom’s living room, and received friendly greetings and pats on my back.
There was Morgan, who played bass for a local punk band called Resistance, and his band mate Andy - I think he played drums. I also saw Rich, who used to be a singer in a rock cover band when he was younger, but now he was a roadie for Uno, a jazz band from a neighbouring town. I occasionally filled in for Uno’s drummer when they were touring, but since I already had a job I loved, I tried to keep it just as a hobby.
I could also see a couple of people who I recognised but didn’t know their names - they were mainly from music circles and one or two people from Tom’s workplace.
Chris was also there: he was sitting on the sofa with a distraught looking, smaller man. The other man looked skinny and frail, but when he turned his face towards me I noticed he had one of the most beautiful pairs of piercing blue eyes I had ever seen.
His skin was as pale as porcelain and his hollow cheeks accentuated his stunning cheekbones. His raven black hair was all mussed up in a way that made me want to run my fingers through the longish strands.
He must be Matthew.
I didn’t usually go for men who were smaller than me, but I had to admit that there was something really intriguing about this guy. His features were really quirky but when put together like that, they created a fascinating combination.
The man looked a little bit nervous and I could tell why Chris had said he needed to go out - he looked like he’d been locked in a cage for ages and had just recently been let out.
Fidgeting with the collar of his bright pink t-shirt, he turned his attention to Chris for a moment as he said something to the smaller man. Turning his head to face me again, his widened eyes followed me as I walked towards Chris and him, my hand extended in front of me to greet him.
I flashed him my friendliest smile, and my heart jumped from joy when he - although a little bit reluctantly - grabbed my hand and shook it, a curious hint of a smile trying to fight its way up from the corners of his lips.
“Hey, I don’t think we have met. I’m Dominic, but everybody just calls me Dom. Except for mum, who insists on calling me Munchkin.” I let out a laugh at my own stupid attempt at a joke.
God, he must think I’m a total idiot.
He smiled, actually smiled this time. It was one of those really shy smiles, and I didn’t think I had seen anything so cute for a long time. “I’m Matthew. Nice to meet you, Dom.” He looked me in the eyes and despite his smile I could see something sad in that azure gaze.
I wondered what his story was.
“Dom, come in the kitchen if you want a beer!” Tom’s shout startled me and I excused myself, heading into the kitchen where Tom was rummaging through his fridge, and Morgan was busy pouring shots for himself and some of his mates.
Finally, Tom found what he had been looking for and opened two bottles, handing one to me and taking a long gulp from the other himself. He leaned his back against the kitchen counter and nodded towards the living room.
“I see you met Matt already?”
I nodded, smiling. “Yeah, I did. He seems quite nice, although I didn’t really get to talk to him yet.” I rubbed the side of the bottle against my chin thoughtfully and stepped aside when Morgan walked past me to the living room, full shot glasses in his hands. “He seemed a little nervous to me. Is he antisocial or something?”
Tom laughed, his head tipped back. He took another swig of his bottle. “No, he’s not antisocial. Not normally, anyway.” Tom snagged his lower lip between his teeth and frowned a little bit. “He’s had a bit of a hard time, but please try to see past that. He’s really one of the sweetest, funniest people you’ll ever meet.”
I nodded, taking a long swig of the cold beer. “I’m really curious about what happened to him.”
“I’m afraid you’d have to ask him yourself, then. It’s not my business to tell you.” Tom’s eyes suddenly had a mischievous glint in them. “Why are you so interested, anyway? Oh, please tell me you’re not going to try to hit on him.”
I flashed a wide, toothy smile at that. “Why not? There’s certainly something interesting about him!” I rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand and shrugged. “And, you know..”
“I know what? That you haven’t got laid in ages?”
I shrugged again, but my smile gave me away.
Tom had a serious expression on his face now. “Please, Dom. Promise me you won’t do anything like that. He’s not... you would regret it. Please, don’t ask why, but promise me you’ll keep your hands off of him.”
What the hell has happened to Matthew?
I raised my hands in surrender. “Okay, okay, I won’t! Jesus.” I excused myself and walked into the living room, finding my way to Morgan and Rich, who were already clearly quite drunk. Morgan clung onto me in a weird attempt of a hug, Rich cackling beside him.
“Dooooom!! Where did you disappear?” I couldn’t help but laugh at him, and soon we engaged in a weird conversation about the most random topics, like funny hats and cactus farming.
I was repeatedly distracted by the slim man in a pink shirt sitting on the sofa, his figure just in the corner of my field of vision.
Matthew was now sitting between Chris and Tom with a beer in his hand, and he didn’t seem nearly as nervous as he’d seemed when I had greeted him. Maybe he’s just shy.
I was enchanted by the way he pinched the bridge of his nose with the tips of his fingers when he seemed to be deep in thought; how his fingers were drumming a rhythm on his thighs when he was waiting for his turn to speak; how his little mouth moved so elegantly when he spoke.
A couple of times when I glanced at him, I could have sworn I caught him looking at me too.
I need to talk to him.
I saw Chris get up from the couch to talk to Andy and Morgan. That was my moment, and I locked eyes with Matthew once again as I advanced him.
“Hey Matthew, do you smoke? Want to go out for a ciggy?” I raised my eyebrows in question and he looked confusedly to his left where Tom was sitting. The journalist shot me a warning glare and I nodded, signalling him that I understood.
I need to keep my hands off of him.
“Erm, I guess that’s okay?” Matthew rubbed his palms back and forth on his thighs and nodded slowly as se said the words.
I gave him a reassuring smile. “Great, let’s go then!”
He followed me to Tom’s backyard and stepped past me to lean his back on the brick wall, his arms crossed over his chest. The streetlight further away cast fascinating shadows on his pale face. He was tilting his head slightly on the right, revealing a smooth patch of skin. I wanted nothing more than to drag my fingers on that expanse and kiss him there, but I had to keep myself together.
Suddenly I was struck by an uncomfortable feeling. I didn’t know what to say! My mouth went dry and all coherent thought left my brain.
Then I heard a faint cough, and I was back on Earth. Matthew nodded towards the front pocket of my jeans, and I could have sworn he blushed a little. “Thought you had some ciggies in there?”
Oh, right. The ciggies.
Now it was my turn to blush. “Yeah, right. Sorry.” I fished the packet from my pocket and reached for my back pocket to grab a lighter from there. “Got a bit distracted by something, I guess. Here you are.” I extended my arm so he could take a cigarette from the packet for himself.
Once we’d both lid our cigarettes, I shuffled a little bit closer to Matthew in order to not be completely in the shadows. I squatted down next to him, resting my head against the cold wall and watched the clouds of smoke escaping my lungs after each inhale.
Neither of us spoke for a long while, but without turning my head I could sense Matthew’s fidgeting. For some reason he seemed really nervous again, and I hated that I didn’t know why. It seemed like a weird topic of conversation to have with someone I’d only just met, so I decided not to ask.
Much to my surprise, Matthew was the one to start talking first.
“Why did you want me here?” He sounded a little bit irritated, but I was just glad he was talking to me.
I glanced upwards and I was met with those piercing eyes once again. In the dim light they looked almost black, and when he noticed I was looking, he quickly turned his head in the other direction.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged and laughed lightly. “I don’t even smoke, really.”
He was still looking away, but I could see him smiling. “Me neither.”
I stubbed out my cigarette and stood up, my knees aching a bit from the squatting. “I guess I just wanted to talk to you. To - to get to know you better, maybe? You’re intriguing.”
Really smooth, Dominic. You are the epitome of subtlety.
I was now facing Matthew, who had stubbed out his cigarette as well and was now leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He was frowning and looking away, teeth nervously gnawing on his lower lip.
“Intriguing?” His sneer was distressed, as if he didn’t know whether to believe me or not. I wanted him to believe, though, and nodded. I also wanted to touch him, so bad, but didn’t think it would be a good idea. I mean, he had been giving me signs all night - or at least I thought he had - but something in his behaviour unsettled me.
It was like he liked me but didn’t want me to get too close. He wouldn’t have come out alone with me if he didn’t like me, right? But still here he was, wrapped in his protective shell with his arms crossed and eyed fixated on anything but me.
I wanted to shake him, tell him he was beautiful and that he was the most fascinating creature I had laid my eyes on for a long time.
“Yeah. Intriguing.”
I managed to smile, and that was when he decided to turn his head and look at me. Straight in the eyes.
At that moment, I felt every ounce of sense I might have had earlier drain away. I stepped much closer, our faces only inches apart. Slowly I raised my right hand and tentatively brushed the backs of my fingers against his cheek. His skin felt a thousand times softer than I had imagined.
I didn’t notice the way he almost stopped breathing, or how he completely froze in place, tensing, when he noticed my hand approaching. Nor did I notice him trying to flinch away from my touch, only to be met with the wall behind him. I certainly misread the shiver that followed the brush of my hand against his skin.
I should have noticed all of those signs, but I didn’t. That’s why what happened next came as a total surprise. Because when I closed my eyes and cupped his cheek with my palm, leaning closer and closer...
*thump*
Matthew had pushed me on the chest with both of his hands, making me fall and land square on my bum.
It took me a couple of seconds to realise what had happened. But when I finally looked up to ask what the fuck was all that about, he was already gone.