Swan Song
More later - but I needed to get this down now I am vaguely coherent and less verklempt.
The episode was one long love letter to Sam and Dean - for their struggles with their personal demons, with their battle to build a relationship. What makes the show stand out is that it has never offered solutions to these. Life is hard, relationships are hard, and loving someone is not always enough. In fact it’s said more than that - that love can itself be destructive even when its well-intentioned.
The scene by the Impala, Dean asking Sam what he wants to do, offering his unconditional support and Dean’s recognition of how his identity has been tied to his role as Sam’s protector, his willingness to shift the dynamic of their relationship - that’s amazing stuff (says someone who’s had a lot of therapy - that shit’s hard yo.) And it was a complement to Sam’s recent act of faith in Dean, in his demonstration that he would trust Dean unconditionally to be the good person he knows dean to be. They’ve both given up that struggle for power and in handing over power, they have each become empowered.
We got a wonderful juxtaposition, of how things have been, of how they could’ve been at Stull with Lucifer and Michael. They represented the pathological versions of Sam and Dean - the unquestioningly obedient son, the self-righteous rebel. It was beautifully played - and this could’ve been the boys destiny but it wasn’t because they had free will to change who they were.
That brings me to Chuck as God - aside the delightful meta-ness of it, for me it reads well as a metaphor for the free will destiny debate. Because none of us have complete free will. Our stories are all partly written for us, depending on where you’re born, you’re race, your gender, your wealth, or who your parents are. But within that story we can make choices. They may not be easy or obvious, we may struggle to find our way, but we can write part of this story ourselves.
And perhaps it’s the most important part we can write. Maybe we can’t change the big stuff, maybe we can’t always change much of ourselves, but maybe we can in small ways trust more, or love better. We can in a moment choose to be kind, rather than choosing to be cruel.
In the end it was no one big thing that saved the day. Sam’s strength came from a lifetime of memories, from a life of imperfect love, of failures and flaws. And Dean being there for him no matter what he did.
And finally the hardest part. Dean keeping his promise to Sam even though every part of him wants to die, or find a way to bring Sam back". So we end up, in a way almost a mirror of back where we started. This time its Dean trying for normal, but if his devastated expression and very large scotch are anything to go by, that’s not working out fantastically. But that's grief - life goes on for those left behind. Even if the pain is unbearable.
And then we have Sam... (or something rather like Sam). Watching. Wanting.
Every season has ended with some challenge to the boys and their relationship. I was wondering how this episode would work that, given that we knew this episode would resolve much, but also did need to set up something for the next season. And what could be better - in a full-on, angsty, take my heart I’m done way - than having Sam and Dean okay but separated. Sam maybe staying away to give Dean the life he thinks Dean won’t have with him around. Dean suffering for lack of Sam, but keeping his promise.
Because they are, after all, soulmates.
And when it was clear, they'd park her in the middle of nowhere and watch the stars. For hours, without saying a word.