Unravelling - a meta on Dean and his mission
After four seasons, Supernatural is like a huge tapestry - when you stand back you can see all these wonderful characters and stories, and then you get up close and examine the detail. And you notice this one bright thread and you then see how it weaves through all the stories, right back to the beginning.
I rewatched Monster Movie the other day, and was struck by Dean's speech to Jamie about why he does what he does.
Jamie: That must suck. I mean, you're giving up your life for this terrible... I don't know, responsibility
Dean: Last few years, I started thinking that way, And, uh, it started sort of weighing on me. Of course, that was before... A little while ago, I had this… it's called a near-death experience. Very near. And, uh... ...when I came to... things were different. My life's been different. I realize that I help people. Not just help them, though. I save them. I guess it's -- it's awesome. It's kind of like gift... Like a mission. Kind of like a... a mission from God.
It's incredibly moving. Sure there's an element of Dean spinning this to hook Jamie, this is Dean after all, but I think it's also a nakedly honest statement about his struggles over the last three years.
It made me pause when he said "Last few years, I started thinking that way, And, uh, it started sort of weighing on me." I often frame Dean as the one who chose hunting, who has 'embraced the lifestyle", who loves it, and I can forget the terrible struggle he has had over the last three years.
When we first meet Dean his life seems pretty clearly defined. "Saving people; hunting things. The family business." which at its heart has his true mission "Saving Sam; hunting the thing that killed mom. Keeping the family together."
Over the next three years we see this challenged in many ways. Sometimes its not the people who need saving, and the things don’t always warranted being hunted. And staying in the family business comes at a terrible cost.
But back in November of 2005 (in Wendigo), Dean seems to be pretty happy with his life, and have a pretty realistic emotion assessment of it.
Dean: Ok, all right, Sam we’ll find them I promise. Listen to me, you’ve gotta prepare yourself. I mean this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can’t keep it burning over the long haul, it’s gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man.
Sam: How do you do it? How does dad do it?
Dean: Well for one… them. {Looks over at Hailey and her younger brother} I mean I figure our family’s so screwed to hell; maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little more bearable. I’ll tell you what else helps. Killing as many sons of bitches as I possibly can.
And how about some awesome foreshadowing with Dean's advice to Sam " all that anger, you can’t keep it burning over the long haul, it’s gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man." - which is exactly the situation we find Sam in four years later. YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOUR BIG BROTHER SAM.
By the end of S1, Dean's sureness about things is shaky. By Salvation and Devil's Trap we see Dean reflecting deeply on the truths he has held dear.
Dean: I mean it. If hunting this demon means you getting yourself killed - then I hope we never find the damn thing.
Sam: That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.
Dean: You said it yourself once - that no matter what we do, they’re gone. And they’re never coming back.
Sam: Don’t you say that! Don’t you.... not after all this, don’t you say that.
Dean: Sam, look... The three of us, that’s all we have. And that’s all I have. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it
together, man. Without you and Dad...
There's conflict here - between the hunting and the saving and the family. And Dean is choosing family.
Dean: You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.
Sam: You didn’t have a choice, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, I know, that’s not what bothers me.
Sam: Then what does?
Dean: Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh .... it scares me sometimes.
And yet even this early, he is seeing the cost associated in being willing to do anything for his family. I think it’s a really important reminder that Dean is more than the cocky, action man he presents and as much as he might want things to be black and white, he can see when they're not.
Through Season Two and Three we see Dean on more than one occasion, (Blood Lust, Croatoan, Malleus Maleficarum) tell Sam that its he who is the one who holds the ethics for the family. But I think this is only because he struggles with them himself, and doubts his ability to make the right choice.
Through Season Two, the whole mission statement is soured for Dean. Whats the point of saving people, when he doesn’t know if he can save Sam, and whats the point of hunting the demon when its now lead to his father's death as well. Escaping to the Grand Canyon or Amsterdam seem like good options - and at least they might help keep Sam alive and with him.
His crisis reaches its peak in What is and what should never be, when he is confronted with the choice to stay in the fantasy world, or return to the hard yet real life he knows.
Dean: (at John's grave): Why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us? Mom's not supposed to live? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?
Dean's choice here to return to hunting I think shows how much the "Saving people; hunting things" mission really is apart of who Dean essentially is. It's his meaning and purpose and most of the time its enough. Sometimes it even makes him happy. But Dean's had a few fucking horrible hard years. His charm, and incredible resilience and strength can make us forget this. Dean's good at putting on the brave face, as Sam knows, and often we believe, or want to believe, that he is okay. Those moments when Dean talks about the weight on him, his weariness with life, are very hard to hear.
In S3, Dean initially seems to the chance to embrace that mission anew in his last year, but even in 3.01 The Magnificent Seven he says "Truth is, I’m tired, Sam. And, I dunno, it’s like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel." He gets through that year, struggles and finds an acceptance of himself, by himself, that had eluded him before.
And then he goes to Hell.
As Dean tries to cope with what happened to him there, the old mission is serving as a framework and a stabilizer for him. But is it enough? In Monster Movie he seems engaged afresh with the "gift' of being able to help and save people. But the memories of what happened in Hell cause him increasing distress, and by the events of Family Remains he is saying "No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever."
I can feel Dean grasping tightly now to what has always given his life meaning. Saving people; hunting things. Of course the main part of that has always been the "family" part of the business. There is no doubt that Sam is, has always been, central to Dean's life. We've seen Dean have to struggle with the changing meaning of who needs saving and what needs hunting, and what being in the family business means, now the very core of all that - Sam - is changing too. The whole show of course, has tracked the two of them building a relationship as adults and like all relationships that continues to evolve. As Cara points pout in Sex and Violence, sometimes that change can lead to a relationship ending.
But we've seen that Dean is not rigid, not a blunt instrument. When the very tenets by which he lives have been challenged, when they've been revealed to be other than he thought, he has reflected and adapted, and remained true to their essence. He more than has the ability, the insight and the courage to deal with the upheaval in his relationship with Sam. Doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be fucking painful and hard though.
And then of course there is also the little matter of the apocalypse.
I rewatched Monster Movie the other day, and was struck by Dean's speech to Jamie about why he does what he does.
Jamie: That must suck. I mean, you're giving up your life for this terrible... I don't know, responsibility
Dean: Last few years, I started thinking that way, And, uh, it started sort of weighing on me. Of course, that was before... A little while ago, I had this… it's called a near-death experience. Very near. And, uh... ...when I came to... things were different. My life's been different. I realize that I help people. Not just help them, though. I save them. I guess it's -- it's awesome. It's kind of like gift... Like a mission. Kind of like a... a mission from God.
It's incredibly moving. Sure there's an element of Dean spinning this to hook Jamie, this is Dean after all, but I think it's also a nakedly honest statement about his struggles over the last three years.
It made me pause when he said "Last few years, I started thinking that way, And, uh, it started sort of weighing on me." I often frame Dean as the one who chose hunting, who has 'embraced the lifestyle", who loves it, and I can forget the terrible struggle he has had over the last three years.
When we first meet Dean his life seems pretty clearly defined. "Saving people; hunting things. The family business." which at its heart has his true mission "Saving Sam; hunting the thing that killed mom. Keeping the family together."
Over the next three years we see this challenged in many ways. Sometimes its not the people who need saving, and the things don’t always warranted being hunted. And staying in the family business comes at a terrible cost.
But back in November of 2005 (in Wendigo), Dean seems to be pretty happy with his life, and have a pretty realistic emotion assessment of it.
Dean: Ok, all right, Sam we’ll find them I promise. Listen to me, you’ve gotta prepare yourself. I mean this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can’t keep it burning over the long haul, it’s gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man.
Sam: How do you do it? How does dad do it?
Dean: Well for one… them. {Looks over at Hailey and her younger brother} I mean I figure our family’s so screwed to hell; maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little more bearable. I’ll tell you what else helps. Killing as many sons of bitches as I possibly can.
And how about some awesome foreshadowing with Dean's advice to Sam " all that anger, you can’t keep it burning over the long haul, it’s gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man." - which is exactly the situation we find Sam in four years later. YOU SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOUR BIG BROTHER SAM.
By the end of S1, Dean's sureness about things is shaky. By Salvation and Devil's Trap we see Dean reflecting deeply on the truths he has held dear.
Dean: I mean it. If hunting this demon means you getting yourself killed - then I hope we never find the damn thing.
Sam: That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.
Dean: You said it yourself once - that no matter what we do, they’re gone. And they’re never coming back.
Sam: Don’t you say that! Don’t you.... not after all this, don’t you say that.
Dean: Sam, look... The three of us, that’s all we have. And that’s all I have. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it
together, man. Without you and Dad...
There's conflict here - between the hunting and the saving and the family. And Dean is choosing family.
Dean: You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.
Sam: You didn’t have a choice, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, I know, that’s not what bothers me.
Sam: Then what does?
Dean: Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh .... it scares me sometimes.
And yet even this early, he is seeing the cost associated in being willing to do anything for his family. I think it’s a really important reminder that Dean is more than the cocky, action man he presents and as much as he might want things to be black and white, he can see when they're not.
Through Season Two and Three we see Dean on more than one occasion, (Blood Lust, Croatoan, Malleus Maleficarum) tell Sam that its he who is the one who holds the ethics for the family. But I think this is only because he struggles with them himself, and doubts his ability to make the right choice.
Through Season Two, the whole mission statement is soured for Dean. Whats the point of saving people, when he doesn’t know if he can save Sam, and whats the point of hunting the demon when its now lead to his father's death as well. Escaping to the Grand Canyon or Amsterdam seem like good options - and at least they might help keep Sam alive and with him.
His crisis reaches its peak in What is and what should never be, when he is confronted with the choice to stay in the fantasy world, or return to the hard yet real life he knows.
Dean: (at John's grave): Why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us? Mom's not supposed to live? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?
Dean's choice here to return to hunting I think shows how much the "Saving people; hunting things" mission really is apart of who Dean essentially is. It's his meaning and purpose and most of the time its enough. Sometimes it even makes him happy. But Dean's had a few fucking horrible hard years. His charm, and incredible resilience and strength can make us forget this. Dean's good at putting on the brave face, as Sam knows, and often we believe, or want to believe, that he is okay. Those moments when Dean talks about the weight on him, his weariness with life, are very hard to hear.
In S3, Dean initially seems to the chance to embrace that mission anew in his last year, but even in 3.01 The Magnificent Seven he says "Truth is, I’m tired, Sam. And, I dunno, it’s like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel." He gets through that year, struggles and finds an acceptance of himself, by himself, that had eluded him before.
And then he goes to Hell.
As Dean tries to cope with what happened to him there, the old mission is serving as a framework and a stabilizer for him. But is it enough? In Monster Movie he seems engaged afresh with the "gift' of being able to help and save people. But the memories of what happened in Hell cause him increasing distress, and by the events of Family Remains he is saying "No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever."
I can feel Dean grasping tightly now to what has always given his life meaning. Saving people; hunting things. Of course the main part of that has always been the "family" part of the business. There is no doubt that Sam is, has always been, central to Dean's life. We've seen Dean have to struggle with the changing meaning of who needs saving and what needs hunting, and what being in the family business means, now the very core of all that - Sam - is changing too. The whole show of course, has tracked the two of them building a relationship as adults and like all relationships that continues to evolve. As Cara points pout in Sex and Violence, sometimes that change can lead to a relationship ending.
But we've seen that Dean is not rigid, not a blunt instrument. When the very tenets by which he lives have been challenged, when they've been revealed to be other than he thought, he has reflected and adapted, and remained true to their essence. He more than has the ability, the insight and the courage to deal with the upheaval in his relationship with Sam. Doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be fucking painful and hard though.
And then of course there is also the little matter of the apocalypse.