By your side
Title: By your side
Author: missyjack
Pairings: Jared and Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Contains no buttsex or cock sucking
Words: 1,918
Beta: talented embroiderama
Summary: At a tense time for Jared, Jensen is by his side.
Author's blame shifting disclaimer:
veronamay is a vile enabler who lured me into the strange world of J2Gen fic. The appalling dialogue the boys speak was not written by me, but by Eric Kripke in an earlier draft of the Pilot script.
February, 2008
Jensen Ackles was not an impatient man; there was really no point in his profession. Acting was full of waiting: waiting for the next scene, waiting for the next job, waiting for the right role, waiting for the big break.
Right now, however, he wished the waiting was over. Anxiety was knitting his guts up into a tight tangle. He shifted in his seat, and his leg knocked into Jared’s which was jiggling nervously. Jensen reached out a hand out to calm him.
As hard as the wait was for Jensen, he could only imagine how Jared must feel. The worst thing was not being able to do anything to change the outcome. Whatever happened now was down to what Jared had done over eight months ago. Jensen knew his friend - he would never have thought that what he was doing back then could lead to this.
This could change his life, change everything.
“It’s okay; I know it’s going to be okay,” whispered Jensen.
“At this point I almost don’t care, Jen. Whatever the result, I just want to know.” Jared nudged his shoulder against Jensen. “Thanks for being here.”
Despite his apprehension, Jensen was glad to be there. Sandy had rung early that day: her plane was stuck on the tarmac in Dubai, and she couldn’t get back in time. When Jared had asked him, Jensen had suggested maybe he’d rather have someone from his family here, but Jared had said “You understand this more than they could; whichever way this goes, I know you’ll understand how I feel.”
Jensen glanced at his watch, Jared must be up next. Beside him, he could tell Jared was working on his breathing, trying to wrestle his feelings under control.
Jensen couldn’t help but wonder how what they were about to find out would affect the show. When the five season deal for Supernatural was announced at the Upfronts in May last year, they had both been thrilled and signed up straight away. They were the lead actors on an Emmy nominated TV show - why wouldn’t they?
Of course they didn’t foresee this happening. Jensen would totally understand if Jared pulled out of the show, but what would that mean for him? Jensen didn’t think they’d necessarily cancel it, as Supernatural had proved a consistent ratings winner. Maybe Eric would invent some long lost Winchester cousin to ride shotgun. Given the way the CW was going it probably be an ex-Pussycat Doll.
But Jensen couldn’t imagine, didn’t want to imagine, sitting in the Impala with anyone else. Dammit, the last three years had been the most exhausting, challenging, fulfilling and fun of his life, and most of that had been down to Jared.
Mind you back when the show started, it could’ve gone either way between them
***
The official spin was that Jared and Jensen, a couple of laid back guys from Texas, hit it off right away. Of course that was the same spin machine that tried to make people believe Jared was only an inch taller than Jensen, or that the renewal of the show was ever in doubt.
However most people bought the story because anytime they were seen together, Jared and Jensen appeared so relaxed and friendly. In fact their easy familiarity and close physical interactions incited some of the more cracked elements of their fan base to have them picking out rainbow-patterned china together (sometimes naked).
The truth was that by their first big public appearance together at the Paley Festival in 2006, Jared and Jensen had a developed a close friendship that extended outside of their working relationship. Many people would’ve been surprised to find out that six months earlier, when they first met, that was by no means assured.
Back then, Jensen had been buzzed about the script he’d been sent, and the readings he’d done for the Kripke and some casting people had gone well. They loved him for Sam, they said; he had exactly the right intensity they were looking for in the role. Jensen liked Sam, he was drawn to the challenge of the portraying the character’s dislocation from normality into the bizarre hunting life with his brother.
Then his agent called him with the ‘good news; bad news’ line. They wanted him for the show…but. The ‘but’ being that they didn’t want him for the hero, the angsty and intense Sam, but for Dean, the smart-mouthed older brother.
Jensen was disappointed. And thrilled. And anxious. And sort of uncomfortable to meet the guy they’d cast as Sam. Feeling vaguely like a stalker, he’d googled Jared, and found out he’d been on Gilmore Girls since he was about twelve. He’d done a few movies, but Jensen was relieved to see the last one was House of Wax, which didn’t make his own contribution to the C-grade horror genre in Devour looked so bad.
Jensen’s agent said over and over - it wasn’t that this guy was a better actor or anything, it was about who fit each role best. “Whatever,” thought Jensen, and he wondered how, having just landed the lead in a network pilot, he could still feel pissed.
But Jensen was no fool, he wanted in on the show, and once he got into the right headspace, he was more than happy with the role of Dean. To quote Eric - who didn’t want be Han Solo?
Jensen met Jared only once before everything was signed, to do a scene for the network suits who had to approve the budget for the pilot episode. They shook hands and had a couple of moments to confer about who has going to stand where, and then they were into it.
“The point is... I never asked for it. The occult homework and melting the silver into bullets. And the family roadtrips-hunting down all those freaky-ass things. I never wanted any of it.... “ Jared strode across the room. The guy walked like a hyperactive giraffe, thought Jensen.
“You can’t pick your family”, he said quietly, going for contained anger.
“No, but I can live my own life. And all our gory dysfunction-I buried it. Man, I swore I was done with it. For good!” Jared was up in Jensen’s face yelling now.
“You know as well as I do - nothing stays buried.” Jensen hoped that sounded ominous. Or foreboding. Or at least a bit creepy.
“Look. Dad’ll be okay. He’ll be home in a few days. You’ll see.” Jared made a face that reminded Jensen of a dog begging for a treat.
“He’s in real trouble, if he’s not dead already. I can feel it, and I know you can too.” Jensen had walked away from Jared. He paused dramatically before he whirled back around.
“So the only question is: you coming with me or not?”
For the first time, Sam and Dean were bought to life. At the end there was applause and lots of nodding and even a back slap or two. The consensus was that they looked good, they could act, and they seemed to have bit of a vibe together.
But Supernatural needed more than that from them. Unlike every other show on prime time, this was no ensemble piece. It was about two brothers - there were no wacky sidekicks or romantic interests. Sure there was a hot car, but it didn’t even talk. Kick-ass special effects, and some gore would help bring good scripts to life, but everyone knew the show lived or died with Sam and Dean. The leads had had to convince the people that mattered, namely the audience, the network execs and Eric Kripke’s mother, that these two guys were brothers who’d die for each other.
Jensen and Jared were both well aware of this - their agents, their friends and Eric had all impressed this on them. Everyone on the set was aware of this, which explained why in the first week everyone kept observing them as if they were a child bride and groom in an arranged marriage. So they approached each other with an excess of Texas manners, each prepared to put up with any sort of crap in order to make the show work.
Jared made things pretty easy - he was a hard guy not to like. Before they even started shooting he knew the names of everyone on the crew - and their mother’s birthday. He seemed genuinely interested in Jensen, and treated him with some deference, asking about the other shows he’d worked on and about life in Vancouver. It made it hard for Jensen to hang onto his initial resentment, although losing top billing on the opening credits to the kid helped with that.
Jensen was cynical. He’d been on enough sets to know the different types amongst actors - the divas, the psychos, the loners, the nervous wrecks. And the friendly puppies, who’d bite you first chance they got. Over his last few gigs Jensen had become a bit of a loner himself, nice enough but keeping more than a bit held back. He’d been burnt too often in this industry by people he thought were his friends.
He kept waiting for signs of the real Jared to emerge once the party manners wore off. It usually didn’t take long for people’s true colours to show under the pressure of shooting, especially a pilot where everyone’s jobs for the next few years were relying on him and Jared doing this well. Jensen was sure the crap would start flying sooner or later.
It was on a cold night, about three days into shooting the first episode when Jensen was quite literally covered in crap - well mud anyway. The make-up girls kept rushing in to spray him with water to keep it fresh between takes, and by the time “Cut!” was called for the third time, Jensen was starting to think that at least if he died of hypothermia he wouldn’t be so fucking freezing. He turned to relay his final wishes to Jared, only to see him running towards the warmth of the small trailer they were sharing during the location shoot.
Jensen trudged along the bridge, his shoulders hunched, thinking that surely it would be cheaper, not to mention warmer, to film in Mexico. He started shaking as the cold ate into his bones and a wave of bitter self-pity swept over him. Damn Jared Padalecki with his big grin and top-billing, who was probably in the trailer right now with some PA massaging his feet. That was fine, Jensen thought, he was a professional; it would’ve been too much to expect that things would be…
“Thought you could use this.” Jensen was suddenly enveloped with two blankets and a large amount of warm Padalecki. “Drink”
Jared handed him a steaming mug of chocolate that was too hot to swallow but which seemed to be thawing the frostbite in his fingers.
“Thanks,” muttered Jensen through chattering teeth.
“C’mon, I cranked the heater up in the trailer. Man, I think you’re blue under that gunk.”
And that was Jared. Friendly, considerate. Always the first one to offer to pick you up from the airport, even if he’d only flown in an hour earlier. Passionate about his work, and interested in yours. Jensen had never before worked with an actor so keen for constructive criticism or so able to give feedback that was helpful and never ever felt like point scoring. Jared never behaved like he thought was the most important person on set and at the same time didn’t shirk his responsibility as someone who could make or break the show.
He wasn’t perfect of course - that would’ve been annoying. Jared could be eager to the point of impatience, and sometimes “interested” felt like an interrogation. It wasn’t fun having seven foot of Padalecki lounging on you when you’d had seventeen tequilas too many. And he ate that damn candy until the smell of it made Jensen want to puke.
But Jensen couldn’t imagine pretending to kill demons thirteen hours a day, six days a week for eight months of the year in crappy Vancouver weather with anyone else.
***
“This is it,” Jared whispered.
A woman stood in front of them. She was speaking but Jensen couldn’t take in the words. He reached over and squeezed Jared’s arm. The woman took a piece of paper from the envelope, and frowned slightly before reading,
“And the Award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture goes to …"
Author: missyjack
Pairings: Jared and Jensen
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Contains no buttsex or cock sucking
Words: 1,918
Beta: talented embroiderama
Summary: At a tense time for Jared, Jensen is by his side.
Author's blame shifting disclaimer:
veronamay is a vile enabler who lured me into the strange world of J2Gen fic. The appalling dialogue the boys speak was not written by me, but by Eric Kripke in an earlier draft of the Pilot script.
February, 2008
Jensen Ackles was not an impatient man; there was really no point in his profession. Acting was full of waiting: waiting for the next scene, waiting for the next job, waiting for the right role, waiting for the big break.
Right now, however, he wished the waiting was over. Anxiety was knitting his guts up into a tight tangle. He shifted in his seat, and his leg knocked into Jared’s which was jiggling nervously. Jensen reached out a hand out to calm him.
As hard as the wait was for Jensen, he could only imagine how Jared must feel. The worst thing was not being able to do anything to change the outcome. Whatever happened now was down to what Jared had done over eight months ago. Jensen knew his friend - he would never have thought that what he was doing back then could lead to this.
This could change his life, change everything.
“It’s okay; I know it’s going to be okay,” whispered Jensen.
“At this point I almost don’t care, Jen. Whatever the result, I just want to know.” Jared nudged his shoulder against Jensen. “Thanks for being here.”
Despite his apprehension, Jensen was glad to be there. Sandy had rung early that day: her plane was stuck on the tarmac in Dubai, and she couldn’t get back in time. When Jared had asked him, Jensen had suggested maybe he’d rather have someone from his family here, but Jared had said “You understand this more than they could; whichever way this goes, I know you’ll understand how I feel.”
Jensen glanced at his watch, Jared must be up next. Beside him, he could tell Jared was working on his breathing, trying to wrestle his feelings under control.
Jensen couldn’t help but wonder how what they were about to find out would affect the show. When the five season deal for Supernatural was announced at the Upfronts in May last year, they had both been thrilled and signed up straight away. They were the lead actors on an Emmy nominated TV show - why wouldn’t they?
Of course they didn’t foresee this happening. Jensen would totally understand if Jared pulled out of the show, but what would that mean for him? Jensen didn’t think they’d necessarily cancel it, as Supernatural had proved a consistent ratings winner. Maybe Eric would invent some long lost Winchester cousin to ride shotgun. Given the way the CW was going it probably be an ex-Pussycat Doll.
But Jensen couldn’t imagine, didn’t want to imagine, sitting in the Impala with anyone else. Dammit, the last three years had been the most exhausting, challenging, fulfilling and fun of his life, and most of that had been down to Jared.
Mind you back when the show started, it could’ve gone either way between them
***
The official spin was that Jared and Jensen, a couple of laid back guys from Texas, hit it off right away. Of course that was the same spin machine that tried to make people believe Jared was only an inch taller than Jensen, or that the renewal of the show was ever in doubt.
However most people bought the story because anytime they were seen together, Jared and Jensen appeared so relaxed and friendly. In fact their easy familiarity and close physical interactions incited some of the more cracked elements of their fan base to have them picking out rainbow-patterned china together (sometimes naked).
The truth was that by their first big public appearance together at the Paley Festival in 2006, Jared and Jensen had a developed a close friendship that extended outside of their working relationship. Many people would’ve been surprised to find out that six months earlier, when they first met, that was by no means assured.
Back then, Jensen had been buzzed about the script he’d been sent, and the readings he’d done for the Kripke and some casting people had gone well. They loved him for Sam, they said; he had exactly the right intensity they were looking for in the role. Jensen liked Sam, he was drawn to the challenge of the portraying the character’s dislocation from normality into the bizarre hunting life with his brother.
Then his agent called him with the ‘good news; bad news’ line. They wanted him for the show…but. The ‘but’ being that they didn’t want him for the hero, the angsty and intense Sam, but for Dean, the smart-mouthed older brother.
Jensen was disappointed. And thrilled. And anxious. And sort of uncomfortable to meet the guy they’d cast as Sam. Feeling vaguely like a stalker, he’d googled Jared, and found out he’d been on Gilmore Girls since he was about twelve. He’d done a few movies, but Jensen was relieved to see the last one was House of Wax, which didn’t make his own contribution to the C-grade horror genre in Devour looked so bad.
Jensen’s agent said over and over - it wasn’t that this guy was a better actor or anything, it was about who fit each role best. “Whatever,” thought Jensen, and he wondered how, having just landed the lead in a network pilot, he could still feel pissed.
But Jensen was no fool, he wanted in on the show, and once he got into the right headspace, he was more than happy with the role of Dean. To quote Eric - who didn’t want be Han Solo?
Jensen met Jared only once before everything was signed, to do a scene for the network suits who had to approve the budget for the pilot episode. They shook hands and had a couple of moments to confer about who has going to stand where, and then they were into it.
“The point is... I never asked for it. The occult homework and melting the silver into bullets. And the family roadtrips-hunting down all those freaky-ass things. I never wanted any of it.... “ Jared strode across the room. The guy walked like a hyperactive giraffe, thought Jensen.
“You can’t pick your family”, he said quietly, going for contained anger.
“No, but I can live my own life. And all our gory dysfunction-I buried it. Man, I swore I was done with it. For good!” Jared was up in Jensen’s face yelling now.
“You know as well as I do - nothing stays buried.” Jensen hoped that sounded ominous. Or foreboding. Or at least a bit creepy.
“Look. Dad’ll be okay. He’ll be home in a few days. You’ll see.” Jared made a face that reminded Jensen of a dog begging for a treat.
“He’s in real trouble, if he’s not dead already. I can feel it, and I know you can too.” Jensen had walked away from Jared. He paused dramatically before he whirled back around.
“So the only question is: you coming with me or not?”
For the first time, Sam and Dean were bought to life. At the end there was applause and lots of nodding and even a back slap or two. The consensus was that they looked good, they could act, and they seemed to have bit of a vibe together.
But Supernatural needed more than that from them. Unlike every other show on prime time, this was no ensemble piece. It was about two brothers - there were no wacky sidekicks or romantic interests. Sure there was a hot car, but it didn’t even talk. Kick-ass special effects, and some gore would help bring good scripts to life, but everyone knew the show lived or died with Sam and Dean. The leads had had to convince the people that mattered, namely the audience, the network execs and Eric Kripke’s mother, that these two guys were brothers who’d die for each other.
Jensen and Jared were both well aware of this - their agents, their friends and Eric had all impressed this on them. Everyone on the set was aware of this, which explained why in the first week everyone kept observing them as if they were a child bride and groom in an arranged marriage. So they approached each other with an excess of Texas manners, each prepared to put up with any sort of crap in order to make the show work.
Jared made things pretty easy - he was a hard guy not to like. Before they even started shooting he knew the names of everyone on the crew - and their mother’s birthday. He seemed genuinely interested in Jensen, and treated him with some deference, asking about the other shows he’d worked on and about life in Vancouver. It made it hard for Jensen to hang onto his initial resentment, although losing top billing on the opening credits to the kid helped with that.
Jensen was cynical. He’d been on enough sets to know the different types amongst actors - the divas, the psychos, the loners, the nervous wrecks. And the friendly puppies, who’d bite you first chance they got. Over his last few gigs Jensen had become a bit of a loner himself, nice enough but keeping more than a bit held back. He’d been burnt too often in this industry by people he thought were his friends.
He kept waiting for signs of the real Jared to emerge once the party manners wore off. It usually didn’t take long for people’s true colours to show under the pressure of shooting, especially a pilot where everyone’s jobs for the next few years were relying on him and Jared doing this well. Jensen was sure the crap would start flying sooner or later.
It was on a cold night, about three days into shooting the first episode when Jensen was quite literally covered in crap - well mud anyway. The make-up girls kept rushing in to spray him with water to keep it fresh between takes, and by the time “Cut!” was called for the third time, Jensen was starting to think that at least if he died of hypothermia he wouldn’t be so fucking freezing. He turned to relay his final wishes to Jared, only to see him running towards the warmth of the small trailer they were sharing during the location shoot.
Jensen trudged along the bridge, his shoulders hunched, thinking that surely it would be cheaper, not to mention warmer, to film in Mexico. He started shaking as the cold ate into his bones and a wave of bitter self-pity swept over him. Damn Jared Padalecki with his big grin and top-billing, who was probably in the trailer right now with some PA massaging his feet. That was fine, Jensen thought, he was a professional; it would’ve been too much to expect that things would be…
“Thought you could use this.” Jensen was suddenly enveloped with two blankets and a large amount of warm Padalecki. “Drink”
Jared handed him a steaming mug of chocolate that was too hot to swallow but which seemed to be thawing the frostbite in his fingers.
“Thanks,” muttered Jensen through chattering teeth.
“C’mon, I cranked the heater up in the trailer. Man, I think you’re blue under that gunk.”
And that was Jared. Friendly, considerate. Always the first one to offer to pick you up from the airport, even if he’d only flown in an hour earlier. Passionate about his work, and interested in yours. Jensen had never before worked with an actor so keen for constructive criticism or so able to give feedback that was helpful and never ever felt like point scoring. Jared never behaved like he thought was the most important person on set and at the same time didn’t shirk his responsibility as someone who could make or break the show.
He wasn’t perfect of course - that would’ve been annoying. Jared could be eager to the point of impatience, and sometimes “interested” felt like an interrogation. It wasn’t fun having seven foot of Padalecki lounging on you when you’d had seventeen tequilas too many. And he ate that damn candy until the smell of it made Jensen want to puke.
But Jensen couldn’t imagine pretending to kill demons thirteen hours a day, six days a week for eight months of the year in crappy Vancouver weather with anyone else.
***
“This is it,” Jared whispered.
A woman stood in front of them. She was speaking but Jensen couldn’t take in the words. He reached over and squeezed Jared’s arm. The woman took a piece of paper from the envelope, and frowned slightly before reading,
“And the Award for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture goes to …"