Fic Perdition Series: Closing Walls and Ticking Clocks Ch 1/?
Title: Ch 1/? Physical Altercations
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Characters: James Kirk, Spock, McCoy,Uhura
Pairings: Kirk/Spock; Scotty/Uhura
Rating: NC-17 (haaaard M), but this chapter is PG-13
Summary: What happens when the Vulcan you just realized you're hopelessly and utterly in love with gets framed for murder and sentenced to life in a penal colony?
Genre: Hurt/Comfort; Angst, Action, Drama, Romance
Warnings: graphic violence, child abuse, abuse, rape/noncon/dubcon, drug use, torture, language, dark psychological themes potrayed,
Wordcount: This Chapter: 8284
Chapter One:
Physical Altercations
Earth
Stardate 2259.267:
It had been six months and twenty-four days since the events involving Kahn and the Enterprise; six months and twenty-four days into their one year of ordered shore leave. At first the crew had been ecstatic to-as they coined it-finally get a break from it all. The Enterprise’s near-death experience had certainly caused a steady decline in crew morale, what with the death of so many crew members, including the Captain’s. Spock still shuddered at that particular memory.
Of course, Spock had long ago determined that shore leave was not something he required. He knew that despite everything that had happened recently, like his emotional breakdown over what he thought was Jim’s death; he would have been able to continue his duties in a commendable fashion. Nevertheless, he deduced that his more human crewmates-including those who weren’t human-could benefit greatly from an extended shore leave.
However, whereas a time like this was supposed to help bring about a sense of peace and relaxation, Spock deduced that it had brought nothing but grief for Captain James T. Kirk and dare he say…himself. Since Jim was first able to leave the medbay at Starfleet Headquarters five months and fifteen days ago, he had been accosted almost daily by the press, public, and a large margin of Starfleet personnel stationed in San Francisco. They were already famous after the Narada, but everything that happened with Admiral Marcus and Kahn just increased that level of fame.
A year ago, Spock knew his blue-eyed, ego-inflated Captain would have reveled in all the attention, but burying a third of the crew was enough to humble anyone. However, even with such a substantial death toll, endless award ceremonies and invites to the most elite social gatherings had been given out almost non-stop for the famed Captain and his Senior Officers. Now-going on seven months almost-Spock could easily tell that his Captain had had about enough attention as he could stand.
“I swear to God Spock, if ONE more of these bastards comes up and offers to buy me a drink, I’m gonna go ape-shit!” Jim exclaimed irritably as he and Spock made their way quickly and forcibly to an isolated booth at the back of The Admiral’s Arms, a bar in San Francisco near Headquarters.
Aside from the increasingly frequent time he spent in Jim’s company as of late, he had yet to accompany him to an establishment such as this, and the experience so far had been quite a learning experience for him. He had always assumed humans to be over emotional in social gatherings that served little purpose-but apparently when they were inebriated, these emotional exhibitions nearly doubled in amount.
Jim was carrying two extremely large drafts of alcohol, and despite being slightly inebriated himself, was doing a commendable job at not spilling them. Spock inclined his head at his Captain, confused by his choice of words.
“Captain, while I am quite sure that not all of these individuals are without their fathers in this establishment, I am perplexed. Please clarify how one goes ‘ape-shit’?”
Kirk turned his head to him and smirked, obviously highly amused. Then again, when is Jim not amused? Spock pondered to himself.
“Trust me Spock, you know exactly how one might go ape-shit, and please…I’ve told you to call me Jim when we’re not on duty.” He replied; his voiced laced with humorous accusation. Spock was still confused, but decided not to comment further on it and filed the term away in the already lengthy list of colloquialisms for him to research later. Despite all his years spent with and around humans, certain idioms still baffled him on occasion. He had to admit though, he was getting better at understanding them due in large part to Nyota.
Spock couldn’t help the illogical pang of emotion that hit him as he thought about his former romantic interest. Last week-to his shock-the two of them had come to the decision to end their romantic relationship. Instantly his eidetic memory supplied him the record of that particular conversation…
“I love you Spock, and I always will, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be more than friends with one another.” She had voiced clearly and painfully from across the table in the quiet dining establishment he had been invited to accompany her to. He had sensed her distress and anxiety when she had made him the invitation-but he would never have guessed that she would wish to terminate their relationship.
“You wish…to terminate our relationship?” He queried, wanting to make sure he had understood her correctly. She nodded glumly before becoming more specific.
“Just the romantic aspect of it Spock…I’m still your friend you know…”
“I do not understand. Have I done something to offend you? Have I been negligent?” He had asked her in as calm a tone as he could manage as various reasons instantly bombarded his mind. He had never admitted it vocally to her, but he had always felt slightly insecure in their relationship. Being that he wasn’t human, he constantly worried that Nyota would find his Vulcan mannerisms leaving much to be desired. Sexual relations for instance-as he had come to observe-were much more open and casual in human society as opposed to Vulcan society where companions preferred to be bonded first before engaging in sexual intercourse. He had yet to copulate with Nyota. Perhaps she desired this, and if she did, would he be willing to grant her such a thing?
Do you even desire to? A small voice protested within him, but he pushed it aside as Nyota began speaking again.
“No! No of course not Spock…you haven’t done anything wrong. Don’t ever think that!” She admonished him sincerely as she reached across the table to grab his hand in hers. A strong sense of love, reassurance, and an immense wave of sadness surged through the link.
“Then why-,” he had begun as the grip on his hand became tighter. Suddenly there was an image of Jim soaring through the link, and even though it was only there for a fleeting second, it might as well have been lingering for hours. Instantly he dropped her hand and let his eyes fall to his lap. “…I see.” He said softly. From her thoughts-he could deduce that she believed him to harbor deeper feelings for the Captain-feelings that could be termed romantic. Suddenly, desires and wishes that he had been denying for the past six months were forced to the surface.
As he sat there, debating the possibilities in his mind he couldn’t help but wrinkle his eyes in bemusement and snap his head back up to face her.
“How did you arrive at this conclusion when I myself have yet to acknowledge such a conclusion even exists?” He had all but sputtered. He knew his-feelings-concerning the Captain ran deep. In many ways-deeper than he cared to admit. It had not been until he watched the light leave those blue fire eyes that Spock really knew how much the Captain-Jim-had meant to him. However, he had yet to act, nor admit to these emotions as he wasn’t quite sure what they meant, if they meant anything at all.
If his mother had still been alive-he would have inquired to her about such matters, and his heart panged at the thought that that would be impossible now and forever more. The second best choice would be his father, but just the mere thought of asking him anything even remotely related to having-feelings-for the Captain was intimidating. Nyota, for some unfathomable reason, had obviously caught on to his internal struggle. Had he been that obvious about it? If indeed that was the case, he was deeply ashamed, and his father would be ashamed that he had let such feelings show.
She laughed lightly before smiling up at him, but the smile, Spock noticed, did not reach her eyes.
“I’m a woman Spock. We know these things.” She answered as if it was the most logical thing in the world. Spock pursed his lips with what he denied was irritation.
“That is not a viable answer. You cannot presume to know of what my…how I perceive the Captain.” He argued bitterly and instantly felt ashamed. This was why he had not analyzed these feelings yet. All it did was confuse him more, which in turn, only angered him and caused him to react emotionally. He was Vulcan. This was unacceptable.
Nyota huffed as she took a sip from her wine and clanged it back down on the table. Spock surmised this to be an expression of irritation directed at him.
“Seriously Spock? The way you look at him? Like he’s the only one in existence at that very moment? The way you hang on to his every word? Or how about the way you fought for him when you thought he was gone? How you abandoned every logical rule in the Vulcan handbook to avenge what you thought was his death? And no-I’m not saying you did the wrong thing so don’t look at me like that!” She added at the stony glare he’d set her with. Instantly he composed himself. “There’s only one emotion I can think of that would lead to a reaction like that.” She had stated fiercely, drawing various gazes from across the restaurant. He wished she would lower her voice. It was enough to have her witness him like this.
“Nyota-,” He started, but she cut him off.
“Love Spock. You love him!” She said almost desperately as her eyes began to moisten. He blinked at her, completely speechless. He could feel the pain radiating off her in waves, and it crushed him to know that he was the one causing it. Her words however left him sitting there in silence. He hadn’t had time to analyze what exactly he felt for the Captain. But love? Could that really be what it was he felt? Looking at Nyota now though, he couldn’t deny that he felt something for her too. It was not love-at least not in the romantic sense-but he did harbor affection for her. Did she question this?
“Nyota. I do care for you despite what you may believe.” He finally answered in a soft tone. She leaned in towards him and took his hand again, her skin hot to the touch.
“But you don’t love me…at least not like that.” She started. He opened his mouth to argue that Vulcans did not love, as love was a human emotion, but she quickly continued. “Of course you care about me Spock, and just because we’re not together doesn’t mean that you’ll stop caring about me, just like I won’t stop caring about you. But you’ll never look at me like that, and I won’t be the person who stands in the way of your happiness. Too many people have done that to you Spock, and I won’t be added to the list.” She then retracted her hand and pulled them together to cover her eyes as she began to cry softly. The human in him wanted to embrace her, to fight away her tears which were because of him, emotion be damned. But he was unsure if it would be warranted.
“You were there every single day he was in the hospital Spock, you practically never left his side! And for the past-almost seven months now you’ve spent more time with him than you have with me! You’re girlfriend!” Her voice was getting louder again.
“Captain Kirk is my superior officer, and as Starfleet has just experienced a crisis situation, it is only logical that the majority of my time be spent in his presence to help deal with the consequences.” Spock rebutted quietly as he averted her gaze. Her expression remained unconvinced.
“Really Spock? So meeting him at his apartment five days a week for chess-or whatever it is you guys do-is dealing with the consequences? Sending him messages-inviting him to go with you to see your mother’s hometown is professional?” She accused and instantly her eyes widened as her hand shot to her mouth. Spock raised an eyebrow.
The message. He had sent it two days ago to Jim-but he had yet to get a reply. He told himself that with how busy the Captain was, he just had not had the time to read it. Right now though that wasn’t what he cared about. Right now he cared about how Nyota had found out about the message when he had never even told her about it.
“May I inquire as to how you came by this knowledge?” He asked crisply, his eyebrow still elevated. Averting his gaze, she twiddled her hands nervously before answering.
“I…read it on your computer terminal.” She answered quietly.
“And why, might I ask, were you endeavoring to read my personal messages?”
Her sheepish look transcended into a glare as she sat up straighter in her chair. “Firstly, you left your account open on the computer that WE SHARE so I couldn’t help but read the damn message Spock. Next time…send that shit over your PADD-,”
He opened his mouth to interrupt but she stuck a finger in his face. Half the restaurant was staring at them now.
“-And secondly, shouldn’t you be more concerned with why you’re asking your superior officer to accompany you on what’s clearly a personal trip that you should be asking your girlfriend to go on?” She finished loudly, and at once he saw the point she was trying to make. As his romantic companion, Nyota should have been the logical and emotional choice should she not? Instead-he had chosen Jim without a second thought.
There were a few moments of awkward silence where Nyota just openly gaped at him, waiting for him to respond. He had no logical argument to follow up with.
“I am...sorry that I hurt you.” He settled for, and he meant it most sincerely. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Nyota, and he had carelessly done so. She took a few more moments to collect herself before she sighed heavily and peered back at him.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. You can’t help who you love. I’m just…sorry that it wasn’t me after all.” She answered sadly.
“That is incorrect. You are right in your assessment of my actions. I should have extended the invitation to you firstly.” He went on, ignoring the guilt swelling up within him.
“No Spock. You shouldn’t have. You obviously wanted Jim to go with you and not me and-let me finish-,” She implored as he opened his mouth again, “-and that’s okay. I…I want you to do what makes you happy. If you love him…”
“This emotion you keep referring to has yet to be determined Nyota. Let me point out that for me to act on a particular emotion, it must exist first.” He stated almost tiredly. She stared evenly at him, making him feel illogically like he was three feet tall.
“Wouldn’t you say it’s logical Spock, that until you do determine just what it is you feel for Kirk, that you not be in a romantic relationship with me?” She asked him pointedly, making him raise another eyebrow. He could not fault her logic. She smiled in spite of herself, but again…it did not reach her eyes.
“That’s what I thought…but so help me, if that bastard hurts you…”
And that had been that. Of course news of their break up had reached the rest of the Enterprise’s senior officer’s within the course of a few days, but the details of just why the couple had split up remained a secret at Spock’s request. Under no circumstances was the Captain to know of the troubling feelings he was harboring for him. Nyota fortunately had agreed earnestly to keep their conversation private.
“It’s not my place anyway Spock.” She had assured him, and he had no reason not to believe her, for she was correct. However it was because of said breakup that Jim had dragged him along with the Doctor to the drinking establishment they now inhabited. According to the Captain, the Vulcan was in need of a ‘boy’s night out,’ as the human had termed it. Spock decided to accept their invitation, even though he had no idea what a boy’s night out even was. He agreed solely on the fact that the Captain-Jim, would be there.
As they neared closer to their chosen booth and Spock was brought out of his musings, McCoy looked up from his third alcoholic beverage of the evening and beckoned impatiently for them to take a seat.
“For the love of God, I’ve been sitting here by myself so long I think I’ve started to mold to the damn seat! What? Did one of you fall in or something?” McCoy exasperated, bringing his drink down with unnecessary force. Spock raised his eyebrow at the outburst.
“To what are you referring Doctor? I can assure you that both the Cap…Jim and myself remained in a standing position for the entirety of our departure from you. There was none of this falling that you speak of.”
McCoy rolled his eyes and took another swig from his drink, completely emptying the glass. Jim suddenly scooted over the second drink in his hand to the Doctor who grasped it greedily.
“Well how gracious of you Jim, you thought of me. I’m touched!” McCoy stated in an exaggerated tone, earning a small chuckle from Kirk.
“I always think of you Bones,” he replied lightly. The Doctor took a giant swig from his newly acquired beverage and jerked his head in the direction that they had come from.
“So really Jim, what the hell took so long?” It was Jim’s turn to look annoyed now.
“What do you think Bones? I swear I can’t go anywhere is this damned city without getting swarmed! I’m about to lose my mind here.” He replied angrily, McCoy however, pretended to look shocked.
“My oh my, I never thought I’d see the day when James T. Kirk was actually unhappy about being in the spot light! Hell must have frozen over,” McCoy exclaimed sarcastically, and while Spock was confused by his reference to the human religious location known as Hell, and what it had to do with winter conditions, he found himself agreeing with the Doctor as to Jim’s usually large ego.
“I too agree with Doctor McCoy’s statement, I have always assumed you found attention to be pleasing.” McCoy looked up at him and smiled, which in itself was a rarity as far as Spock was concerned.
“Even the Vulcan agrees with me, which basically means I’m right.” McCoy added playfully. Jim sighed and regarded them both with irritation.
“Okay fine, I may have a…a rather large ego, but there’s still only so much a person can take, even someone as amazing as myself.” Jim defended cheekily.
“Oh God here we go…” from McCoy as he palmed his forehead.
“HOWEVER-,” Jim looked pointedly to his friend, “-you have to admit Bones, Starfleet has been up our asses so much these past seven months that I’m starting to wonder why we just don’t have our own reality show. And not only that, but they act like no one died! Like Marcus and that fucking Kahn bastard didn’t try to commit mass murder! They just carry on happily ignoring the sacrifices those men and women made! It makes me fucking sick.” He exasperated as he also took a rather large swig from his drink.
Eyebrows quirked, Spock began to say something but was cut off again by the Captain. “This is supposed to be a damn shore leave, which is really just code for-we got our asses kicked and Starfleet wants us to collect our fucking marbles-but it’s just been one award, interview, or whatever the hell you want to call it, after another! I just want to get back up in space ya’know? Away from all this. We’ve been on the ground too long.” Jim finished longingly.
Spock noticed that Jim’s face had become quite somber as he stared fixedly at his glass. Errantly, he wondered if Jim had yet to read his invitation regarding the trip he intended to take. However, he decided not to ask, and not because he couldn’t bear it if Jim actually refused him.
McCoy stared pityingly at his friend, not knowing what to say.
“While I do agree that this has not been a very traditional shore leave Captain-,” Spock started.
“Jim, Spock…Jim.” He corrected tiredly, still gazing at his glass as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“Very well, Jim…while I do agree that this has not been what humans exactly identify as a respectable shore leave, I do not think it will be much longer until Starfleet makes the decision to send the Enterprise back into space for the five-year mission. Therefore, I find it reasonable to conclude you will not have to endure these emotions you are experiencing much longer.” Spock asserted earnestly. While he had no facts to back up his statement…which made it completely illogical, he couldn’t help himself. For some reason, he felt, actually felt, the need to offer some form of encouragement to his Captain-his friend and perhaps more-who obviously had needed it.
Jim looked up from his drink and gave Spock a small, but sincere smile. Spock felt a warm stirring in his abdomen at the gesture. Since when did the Captain’s smiles elicit that kind of reaction? He filed it away so that he could meditate on it at a later date.
“Thanks Spock.” He said warmly. McCoy looked from Spock to Jim, and then back from Jim to Spock again.
“Well I’ll be damned, did Spock actually just attempt to cheer you up?” He accused in a voice laced with disbelief. Jim chuckled lightly and slapped his hand on Spock’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. To any other Vulcan, this would be highly inappropriate, but Spock was used to Jim’s unorthodox behavior towards him, and it didn’t bother him anymore. In fact, he found himself yearning for the touch these days, though he would never admit to it.
Spock turned his gaze from Jim back to the Doctor.
“I would like to clarify Doctor McCoy that I made no such attempt-,” He started, but was quickly cut off by McCoy.
“Bullshit Spock, you were trying to cheer him up, don’t try and deny it.” He argued, swigging down more alcohol. Spock raised his eyebrows higher this time.
“If you would allow me to finish Doctor?” he asserted. Both his fellow humans shared a quick glance. Jim gave a small shrug and McCoy lazily motioned for Spock to continue.
“Thank you. I was going to say that no attempt was made…judging by the radical shift in facial expression and the subtle altering of his tone of voice, the Captain has indeed been cheered. My attempt, as you call it, was successful.” Spock wasn’t sure what had caused it, or why, but suddenly both the humans at his booth had gone into a fit of laughter. McCoy had his face plastered on the table in an attempt to mask his maniacal hilarity while Jim was sprawled back in his seat, clutching at his side, laughing hysterically. The noise was beginning to draw the attention of the other inhabitants of the bar who were shooting them curious looks.
“I fail to see what is so amusing.” He piped in.
“Oh…shit Spock,” Jim managed to get out between his laughter, “I knew there was a reason I kept you around as my First Officer.”
“I would deduce that you have kept me around sir as a direct consequence of my abilities as Science Officer, as well my ability to-,” he would have continued his argument, but the Doctor and his Captain were laughing even harder now, only adding to his confusion, though he couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that seemed to encase him whenever Jim laughed in his presence. It was such an endearing sound and he found it pleasantly pleasing. McCoy seemed to notice his puzzled expression and started to calm himself enough to talk to him.
“We’re laughing Spock because, believe this or not, we think you might have actually just told a joke.” McCoy revealed with a rather large smile plastered on his face. Spock tried hard not appear offended.
“Illogical.” He stated plainly, and for some reason, this only caused the laughter to return full spectrum. Spock deduced that the two humans before him were now sufficiently inebriated, and that their behavior was a direct result of that. He had been around inebriated humans before, and it seemed like they acted highly emotional in regards to everything, or attempted to physically assault everything in the surrounding vicinity. In this case, an overabundance of laughter seemed to be the result.
“Perhaps gentlemen, it would be wise to cease your consumption of alcohol, I detect that you both are beginning to become highly intoxicated.” Spock attempted knowing it was in vain.
“Nonsense Spock, we’ve only just started!” Jim defended loudly.
“Perhaps you may think so Jim, but Doctor McCoy on the other hand, is now drinking his fourth alcoholic beverage this evening.” Spock pointed out in a matter of fact tone. McCoy glared at him and then guzzled the remaining liquid in his glass. When he was finished, he slammed the glass down hard onto the table and stared straight into Spock’s eyes.
“Make that my fifth.” He slurred and began to stumble out of their booth and towards the bar, obviously to purchase more alcohol. Spock suppressed a sigh and began to rise; however, Jim grabbed his elbow lightly, signaling for him to sit back down. Spock, with difficulty, ignored the seemingly electric tingle that shot up his arm and through his body at the contact.
“Jim, I do not think it is wise to allow Dr. McCoy to wander this establishment unattended, he could injure himself.” Spock argued in a nonchalant tone.
“Feelings for the good Doctor, Spock?”
Spock raised his eyebrow.
“I do not understand.”
Jim rolled his eyes playfully at the response before fixing him with a serious stare.
“Look Spock, he can take care of himself okay? He’s been doing this for a long time now; you’re just not used to seeing him like this, you know…all emotional and what not.”
“That is incorrect, from my observations of Doctor McCoy, he is quite emotional the majority of the time.”
Jim laughed but did not comment. Spock continued to look at him with a questioning gaze but Jim was not forthcoming. He didn’t see too much harm in being slightly inebriated. Living amongst humans for so long, he knew it was a part of their culture. A means to wind down as Nyota had once clarified to him, but for the Captain to allow his Chief Medical Officer to become severely inebriated? This he did not understand.
Jim studied Spock’s face and obviously noticed his confusion because he sighed heavily and nursed his forehead with his hands. “Look, Spock…” he said as he dropped his gaze down to the floor before peering back up again to fix said gaze on the Vulcan again. “This is what people do when they come to places like this. They get drunk, they make scenes…they act illogical.” he explained with a hard stare, like he was talking to a child.
“I am neither drunk, nor acting illogically Captain, yet I am in attendance.” He stated plainly.
“I’m aware of this Spock…your point being?”
“My point being is that, if the reasons for coming to such a place are as you stated them to be, I do not understand why you took the liberty to invite me to accompany you and Doctor McCoy tonight.” Jim suddenly looked taken a back.
“You just got out of a pretty serious relationship Spock! I thought you could use some…you know…emotio-support!” the Captain argued as he quickly corrected himself.
“I am Vulcan sir, this support you refer to is unneeded.”
Jim suddenly looked annoyed, almost angry. Perhaps he had said something wrong.
“I just thought you’d like to spend time with me as a friend Spock, you know? Not as my First Officer, just as my friend-and no, I know we hang out a lot at my apartment, but I’m talking about out in the open. And, well, this is what friends do with each other. They spend time with each other. And when they think the other one is upset over the sudden conclusion of a relationship that’s been ongoing for a few years now-they try to be there to support them, no matter how much they might not think they need it. I’m sorry if I assumed the wrong thing.” Jim ended rather bitterly as he sipped from his drink unenthusiastically.
Spock was a little taken aback. He knew Jim considered him a friend-and, though he would never tell his father, he also considered Jim a friend and much more than that, but these practices were new to him. He had never been invited to just hang out as the humans termed it. He had always assumed that, while he got along with his colleagues in a professional setting, that they did not seek his company outside of it, which would explain why he never got invited to social gatherings. Yes he spent a considerable amount of his free time with Jim at his apartment, but it was usually over a game of chess, or to discuss issues related to the current happenings in Starfleet. Such times were logical, and wanted.Yearned for.
He had never before wished to attend these social gatherings in the first place as they served no logical purpose. In fact, if someone would have asked him a year ago, he would have declined. Even Nyota had tried on numerous occasions to get him more socially involved, but he always refused. To Vulcans, spending time with one another outside of the pursuit of some intelligent goal was illogical; since said time would be better spent doing something logical. Unless the Vulcans in question were Bondmates, or parent and child, then a relationship outside of that was not heard of. Friendships weren’t viewed as logical to Vulcans unless there was some logical benefit to such a relationship. Now though, he was starting to feel differently. He was starting to wish for things that he had not wished for since he was a child.
As a child, Spock often desired to seek out friends. To quench the loneliness he often felt, much to the doing of his human half. (A half that had most undoubtedly run more rampant in his youth until he learned to control it.) It surprised Spock to come to the realization that here he was, acting illogically, and he didn’t have an ounce of regret about it. Because Jim was here.
Spock had been so deep in these thoughts that he didn’t acknowledge Jim sigh and turn away from him. It was only the Captain’s voice which brought him back to reality.
“Just forget about it Spock, okay? As soon as Bones gets back, we’ll get out of here, and you can go home. Or we can go play chess, I know you like when we do that.”
Spock could tell that he’d offended his friend; that through his actions, Jim assumed that Spock would rather not spend time with him outside of a professional capacity at all. This was not the case.
“Jim, you misunderstand me.” He stated in a determined voice which caused the Captain to swivel back around to stare at him, truly curious now. He knew that what he was about to admit was extremely private to him, but he wanted Jim to understand.
“I am not stating that time spent with you and Doctor McCoy is in anyway unpleasant to me, but rather…I have observed in my time spent amongst humans that I do not belong; that I cannot participate in your customs and thus it is logical to assume that I may make you…feel somewhat awkward.” Spock paused briefly, suddenly finding it difficult to voice what he wanted to say. Jim waited, appearing as if he was hanging onto every word.
“I…I believe that you and the Doctor would benefit from your time more efficiently without me.” He tried immensely to keep his tone even, plain, and without emotion. However, Spock couldn’t help the slight regret for his situation to taint his voice. Inside, he berated himself for allowing this slip in emotion.
He glanced at Jim, awaiting a response. What if he agreed with Spock? What if he did decide his free time would be better spent without Spock’s company? He felt a trickle of fear emerge but stomped it back down as quickly as it had appeared.
After what felt like hours, but had in reality only been five point two seconds, Jim finally responded.
“Man, you have GOT to be kidding me!” He shouted. Spock continued to stare, perplexed by the reaction. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that.
“I assure you Jim, I do not jest.” He tried to explain, suddenly coming to the conclusion that saying anything at all had been a grave mistake.
“No, no that’s not what I mean…” He paused to run his hand through his dirty blond hair. Errantly Spock wondered what Jim’s hair would feel like to his own, sensitive fingers and was immediately ashamed of the thought. If he had been human, he would have blushed.
“Spock, I know that you don’t participate in stupid shit like this.” Jim waved his hands about him, indicating the atmosphere of the establishment. “And that because of that you feel somehow-pardon the expression-but…alienated.” Spock raised his eyebrows, but Jim soldiered on, “but I want you to understand something,” and here Jim’s gaze became hard and serious. “I hope I’m not committing some kind of big Vulcan offense by saying this, but…I consider you my best friend Spock, and there’s no-no-situation that you could embarrass me in. Do you understand?”
Spock took a moment to consider Jim’s words, which were eliciting profound emotions within him. He was about to answer when a loud shattering bellowed across the bar, causing both men to forget about their sentimental moment and turn rapidly towards the source. Spock noticed that Doctor McCoy was lying on his stomach on the floor across the room, clutching at his nose which was now bleeding profusely. He let his keen Vulcan eyes travel up to what appeared to be four sizable men, one of which sported so many tattoos and piercings; you could barely make out his natural skin color. It didn’t take a logical mind like Spock’s to come to the conclusion that these men were highly inebriated.
“If I wanted your smart ass mouth you piece of Starfleet shit…I’d ask for it!” The largest of the four taunted as he made to grab the Doctor by his jacket and no doubt further assault him.
“Son of a bi-,”Jim had started but Spock didn’t hear the rest, for he had already risen and made his way over to the Doctor with so much speed, that when he had stopped defensively in front of McCoy, the four men had stumbled back in surprise.
“You will cease this attack.” Spock said evenly as he glared severely at the men. By now Jim had come over, and immediately kneeled down to help Doctor McCoy up who was still clutching at his nose in pain.
“Dammit Jim…I think my nose is fractured.” McCoy stated as best he could through all the blood colluding his face. The entire bar was silent now, all eyes glued to the confrontation in front of them. It was amazing how violence never failed to capture everyone’s attention-regardless of species.
“Cease? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Just who the hell are you to tell us what to do you fucking elf!” The heavily tattooed man bellowed. The smell of alcohol on his breath was overpowering, bringing Spock to the conclusion that his earlier assumption had been correct, these men were highly inebriated, and therefore would be harder to reason with.
Spock took no notice to the derogatory remark they had made to him, although he could see Jim tense slightly beside him and open his mouth to lash some form of an insult back at them. However, the look that Spock gave his friend was enough to silence him-for now.
“You have just struck a Starfleet Officer, for which the penalties are-,” he had started to list them off, but one of the men interrupted him as he strode dangerously close to Spock, his eyes as cold as ice.
“And I’m about to strike another one if you don’t shut your mouth, you hear what I’m sayin’?” Spock held his gaze with confidence but raised his eyebrows.
“Have I done something to infer to you that my hearing is impaired? Of course I can discern what you are saying, however, I will continue to speak freely despite your previous request.” Spock could tell he was getting angering the man. His whole frame shook in barely contained rage, but he would not back down.
“You’ve got a smart mouth Vulcan.” The man said the word like it was something disgusting. “I think you’ve got an even smarter mouth than your bitch friend over there.” The man argued as he glanced aggressively at McCoy who looked menacing with the crimson blood covering his face. Suddenly Jim reacted.
With a look of pure rage, he made to move towards the men, his hands already balled up into fists. Spock shot his hand out and set it against his friend’s chest, silently forbidding him to engage in hostile action. Violence was always to be a last resort.
Jim looked put out at Spock’s gesture and attempted to move his hand but Spock would not let up and soon he found himself containing his Captain easily with his arms, preventing him from engaging the men. Jim became increasingly angry at his attempts to restrain him. Spock could feel the emotion radiating off his Captain in waves.
“Godammit Spock! Let me go! So I can beat the shit out of these assholes!” Jim pleaded angrily, but Spock would not let up.
“We must not resort to violence Jim, it must only be used as a last-,”
“Spock eh? Like…like THE Spock?” One of the four men stated, realization dawning on them. Jim suddenly stopped struggling, intrigued by the group’s sudden interest in him.
“Yes, my name is Spock, First Officer on board the Enterprise.” Spock clarified, not seeing how this information was relevant. To Spock’s utter surprise, all four of the men started laughing hysterically. Spock turned to Jim and Doctor McCoy who just stared back at him in bewilderment. The rest of the bar’s inhabitants looked to each other nervously, especially the bartender, who was holed up against the far wall, fear evident in his eyes. He had obviously seen these men in action before. “And you are the famous Captain Kirk? I figured you’d be taller in real life.” This statement only fueled the laughter that the men were exhibiting. However, being that that laughter was now taking place at his Captain’s expense, Spock couldn’t help the flame of anger which had begun to take root in the pit of his stomach.
“I apologize; I do not see the humor in this situation.” Spock stated evenly, as if he were just commenting on the weather. No one would have ever guessed as to the ever increasing rage building in his system. The largest of the men pulled himself together long enough to glance back up Spock, an evil grin on his face.
“So…you’re telling me that I’m actually getting the chance to beat the living shit out of the half-breed freak they let parade around Starfleet?” The insult was meant to make him angry, to attempt to goad him into a confrontation. Spock would not allow this. He kept his face impassive, this wasn’t the first time he had suffered insults such as these and he was very used to them by now.
Jim however, had gone deadly still, almost dangerously so. Like the calm before the storm as some humans would say.
“So tell me Spooock.” The man drew his name out, making a joke of it, “I know enough about politics to know that your father is the Vulcan Ambassador?”
“This is correct, though it is not relevant-,” Spock started to cut him off, but the man just continued speaking as if the Vulcan had never spoken.
“I bet your traitor mother lay awake in bed at night, just begging to be fucked by a real man instead of that Vulcan filth. I bet she-,” the man never got a chance to finish his insults as both he and Jim launched themselves simultaneously at them. Spock’s abhorrence to a violent confrontation lay long forgotten.
The bar was suddenly in total chaos as limbs connected with bodies, and blood connected with the floor. Spock had easily taken down two of them in less than four point three seconds, and Jim had already almost incapacitated his own opponent.
Patrons scrambled quickly to get out of the way of the enraged Vulcan and his Captain as they slung the men all about the bar. The fourth man-the heavily tattooed one-hastily came to the conclusion that he was now outnumbered two-to-one (McCoy was busy shouting over the chaos, trying to get everyone to calm down) and made to make his escape.
“I’d run too you bigoted mother fucker!” Jim yelled after him, clearly content to let the man run like the coward he was but not Spock. An alien, yet somehow familiar rage had overtaken the half-Vulcan, and there was absolutely no way that he was going to let him get away. He would take him down. Make him pay for insulting his mother.
“Spock!” He vaguely heard Jim shout as the Vulcan took after the man.
The man looked over his shoulder and took in Spock’s murderous gaze and could only conclude what was about to happen.
Despite Jim’s orders to stop, Spock was on the human in less than two point five seconds. Picking him up by his neck with one hand, he slammed the human full force against the wall, his feet dangling off the ground. Both McCoy and Jim were now shouting at him, attempting to bring him out of the violent haze he found himself utterly lost in. The rest of the bar just watched in shocked silence. They had never before seen a Vulcan act the way Spock was acting, and now that they were getting to witness it first hand, the sight was terrifying.
Spock resisted the oh so tempting urge to encircle his hand tighter on the man’s throat and crush his windpipe, but he felt himself coming back to some semblance of reality as the Captain’s voice continued to sound relentlessly behind him. The green blood lust he had been seeing was slowly starting to fade back to normal.
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes to collect his control, to collect it, and dispense it throughout his entire being. He must control. Under no circumstances could he let this anger control him. Take control Spock! He told himself firmly.
Finally his body started obeying his mind and he slowly lowered the man back to the floor, unharmed. The man sputtered and coughed violently as he doubled over and grabbed at his neck where the Vulcan’s fingers had once been. The man tried to escape yet again, but not before Spock reached out, grabbed at his collar and pulled him towards him, his face centimeters away.
“I intend to allow you to leave here unharmed, but make no mistake, it would be in your best interest for us not to meet again.” Spock threatened him in a low whisper, so only he could hear it. The man nodded dumbly and Spock instantly released him. He stumbled back on himself and scrambled to break free from the building, tripping twice before actually making it out of the door.
The bar remained silent for another good minute; so silent you could hear a pen drop. Finally, Spock turned back to his Captain and Doctor McCoy, who were both shooting him worried glances. Jim appeared as if he wanted to say something, but he never voiced it. It was the southern drawl of the Doctor that finally broke through the silence.
“Spock…you okay?” he questioned in that medically concerned tone that all Doctors possessed. Spock peered up at him. No, no I am not okay, right now, I am ashamed, I have lost control…again. Spock chastised himself. His behavior had been unacceptable, and would definitely require an extensive amount of meditation to rectify.
“Spock?” It was Jim this time, obviously becoming more concerned at his continued silence. The gentle sound of his voice helped tremendously to quell the raging inferno which had possessed him not minutes ago. It seemed like Jim had that effect on him more and more lately.
“I assure you Captain, Doctor. All is well.” He didn’t want to elaborate on his condition right now, not in front of all these people. McCoy didn’t look convinced as he gazed at Spock’s hands. Curious, Spock peered down to see what had captured the Doctor’s attention and realized that his hands were balled up into fists, his green-tinged skin white with tension.
Uncurling his fists proved to be a challenge, but he managed it nonetheless and turned to survey the damages he had dealt during the altercation. There were a few broken tables and chairs, and quite a bit of broken glass littered the floor, but that was it. Spock turned his attention to the bartender who was looking tentatively at him.
“I do apologize for making a scene in your place of business, if you will allow me too, I would be more than willing to pay for any damages, you can contact me through Starfleet’s directory. I would also recommend you call the local authorities and relay to them what has happened.” He stated simply and with a slight nod he turned and exited the building, the bystanders hastily making way for him.
He tried to make his escape swiftly but it wasn’t long before Jim and Doctor McCoy had exited from the building and were trailing right behind him. Jim called out to him.
“Hey! Hey Spock, where are you going! Hey wait!” He yelled after him desperately. Spock increased his speed. He didn’t want Jim to see him like this.
“Dammit you pointy-eared bastard, just wait a second; we need to talk about this!” McCoy joined in. Reluctantly, Spock halted, causing both his comrades to almost run into him. Slowly he turned and sent them a very rare, almost regretful look. Jim stepped closer to him, but Spock shot out his hand, motioning for him to stop. Jim winced at the gesture.
“Spock, you have nothing to be ashamed of, those guys were real assholes, hell I WANTED to give them a real kick in the balls same as you!” Jim tried reasoning.
“I am not ashamed Captain, for that would be a human emotion.”
McCoy snorted, “Yea, and you definitely don’t have any of those lying around…”
“Bones.” Jim warned his friend, his eyes never leaving Spock’s.
“Doctor, I would recommend that you take yourself to the nearest medical facility and attain treatment for your injuries, meanwhile, I shall take me leave.” Spock said dismissively as he turned from them.
“Spock wait a damn second!” Jim protested, clearly growing irritated with his avoidance.
“I cannot Captain, I must return to my quarters, I have some things I need to attend to.” Jim appeared slightly hurt at first by the dismissal, but he nodded slowly in understanding.
“Okay Spock, comm me if you need anything, I guess I’ll take Bones to fix his face.”
“Hey! I’m quite able to fix my own face thank you very much.” The Doctor protested.
“Good night Captain,” he bid to Jim before he nodded to McCoy, “Doctor.”
“Hey Spock?” Doctor McCoy questioned, his voice slightly muffled from the fractured, bloody nose. Spock inclined his head, but the Doctor remained silent. Wishing the Doctor would just come out and say whatever it was he wanted to say, Spock shifted his feet impatiently.
“Thanks…I mean…thank you.” He said meekly, but with the utmost sincerity.
“For what Doctor?”
“For sticking up for me. I know I don’t say it much, but you’re a good friend Spock.” The Doctor complimented him quietly, a slight blush to his cheeks. The Vulcan knew it took every ounce of courage just too even think of saying something like that to him. Spock stood speechless for three point six seconds before responding.
“I did the logical thing Doctor, if they had continued their attack upon you, your injuries would be greater than they are at present, and Starfleet cannot afford to lose one of it’s Chief Medical Officers at this point in time.” He responded plainly. McCoy rolled his eyes.
“Whatever floats your boat Spock.” The Doctor retorted sourly. Instead of supplying his usual logical banter with the Doctor, Spock simply nodded to the two gentlemen and quickly set off towards home, unaware of the predatory eyes following his every step.
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Characters: James Kirk, Spock, McCoy,Uhura
Pairings: Kirk/Spock; Scotty/Uhura
Rating: NC-17 (haaaard M), but this chapter is PG-13
Summary: What happens when the Vulcan you just realized you're hopelessly and utterly in love with gets framed for murder and sentenced to life in a penal colony?
Genre: Hurt/Comfort; Angst, Action, Drama, Romance
Warnings: graphic violence, child abuse, abuse, rape/noncon/dubcon, drug use, torture, language, dark psychological themes potrayed,
Wordcount: This Chapter: 8284
Chapter One:
Physical Altercations
Earth
Stardate 2259.267:
It had been six months and twenty-four days since the events involving Kahn and the Enterprise; six months and twenty-four days into their one year of ordered shore leave. At first the crew had been ecstatic to-as they coined it-finally get a break from it all. The Enterprise’s near-death experience had certainly caused a steady decline in crew morale, what with the death of so many crew members, including the Captain’s. Spock still shuddered at that particular memory.
Of course, Spock had long ago determined that shore leave was not something he required. He knew that despite everything that had happened recently, like his emotional breakdown over what he thought was Jim’s death; he would have been able to continue his duties in a commendable fashion. Nevertheless, he deduced that his more human crewmates-including those who weren’t human-could benefit greatly from an extended shore leave.
However, whereas a time like this was supposed to help bring about a sense of peace and relaxation, Spock deduced that it had brought nothing but grief for Captain James T. Kirk and dare he say…himself. Since Jim was first able to leave the medbay at Starfleet Headquarters five months and fifteen days ago, he had been accosted almost daily by the press, public, and a large margin of Starfleet personnel stationed in San Francisco. They were already famous after the Narada, but everything that happened with Admiral Marcus and Kahn just increased that level of fame.
A year ago, Spock knew his blue-eyed, ego-inflated Captain would have reveled in all the attention, but burying a third of the crew was enough to humble anyone. However, even with such a substantial death toll, endless award ceremonies and invites to the most elite social gatherings had been given out almost non-stop for the famed Captain and his Senior Officers. Now-going on seven months almost-Spock could easily tell that his Captain had had about enough attention as he could stand.
“I swear to God Spock, if ONE more of these bastards comes up and offers to buy me a drink, I’m gonna go ape-shit!” Jim exclaimed irritably as he and Spock made their way quickly and forcibly to an isolated booth at the back of The Admiral’s Arms, a bar in San Francisco near Headquarters.
Aside from the increasingly frequent time he spent in Jim’s company as of late, he had yet to accompany him to an establishment such as this, and the experience so far had been quite a learning experience for him. He had always assumed humans to be over emotional in social gatherings that served little purpose-but apparently when they were inebriated, these emotional exhibitions nearly doubled in amount.
Jim was carrying two extremely large drafts of alcohol, and despite being slightly inebriated himself, was doing a commendable job at not spilling them. Spock inclined his head at his Captain, confused by his choice of words.
“Captain, while I am quite sure that not all of these individuals are without their fathers in this establishment, I am perplexed. Please clarify how one goes ‘ape-shit’?”
Kirk turned his head to him and smirked, obviously highly amused. Then again, when is Jim not amused? Spock pondered to himself.
“Trust me Spock, you know exactly how one might go ape-shit, and please…I’ve told you to call me Jim when we’re not on duty.” He replied; his voiced laced with humorous accusation. Spock was still confused, but decided not to comment further on it and filed the term away in the already lengthy list of colloquialisms for him to research later. Despite all his years spent with and around humans, certain idioms still baffled him on occasion. He had to admit though, he was getting better at understanding them due in large part to Nyota.
Spock couldn’t help the illogical pang of emotion that hit him as he thought about his former romantic interest. Last week-to his shock-the two of them had come to the decision to end their romantic relationship. Instantly his eidetic memory supplied him the record of that particular conversation…
“I love you Spock, and I always will, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be more than friends with one another.” She had voiced clearly and painfully from across the table in the quiet dining establishment he had been invited to accompany her to. He had sensed her distress and anxiety when she had made him the invitation-but he would never have guessed that she would wish to terminate their relationship.
“You wish…to terminate our relationship?” He queried, wanting to make sure he had understood her correctly. She nodded glumly before becoming more specific.
“Just the romantic aspect of it Spock…I’m still your friend you know…”
“I do not understand. Have I done something to offend you? Have I been negligent?” He had asked her in as calm a tone as he could manage as various reasons instantly bombarded his mind. He had never admitted it vocally to her, but he had always felt slightly insecure in their relationship. Being that he wasn’t human, he constantly worried that Nyota would find his Vulcan mannerisms leaving much to be desired. Sexual relations for instance-as he had come to observe-were much more open and casual in human society as opposed to Vulcan society where companions preferred to be bonded first before engaging in sexual intercourse. He had yet to copulate with Nyota. Perhaps she desired this, and if she did, would he be willing to grant her such a thing?
Do you even desire to? A small voice protested within him, but he pushed it aside as Nyota began speaking again.
“No! No of course not Spock…you haven’t done anything wrong. Don’t ever think that!” She admonished him sincerely as she reached across the table to grab his hand in hers. A strong sense of love, reassurance, and an immense wave of sadness surged through the link.
“Then why-,” he had begun as the grip on his hand became tighter. Suddenly there was an image of Jim soaring through the link, and even though it was only there for a fleeting second, it might as well have been lingering for hours. Instantly he dropped her hand and let his eyes fall to his lap. “…I see.” He said softly. From her thoughts-he could deduce that she believed him to harbor deeper feelings for the Captain-feelings that could be termed romantic. Suddenly, desires and wishes that he had been denying for the past six months were forced to the surface.
As he sat there, debating the possibilities in his mind he couldn’t help but wrinkle his eyes in bemusement and snap his head back up to face her.
“How did you arrive at this conclusion when I myself have yet to acknowledge such a conclusion even exists?” He had all but sputtered. He knew his-feelings-concerning the Captain ran deep. In many ways-deeper than he cared to admit. It had not been until he watched the light leave those blue fire eyes that Spock really knew how much the Captain-Jim-had meant to him. However, he had yet to act, nor admit to these emotions as he wasn’t quite sure what they meant, if they meant anything at all.
If his mother had still been alive-he would have inquired to her about such matters, and his heart panged at the thought that that would be impossible now and forever more. The second best choice would be his father, but just the mere thought of asking him anything even remotely related to having-feelings-for the Captain was intimidating. Nyota, for some unfathomable reason, had obviously caught on to his internal struggle. Had he been that obvious about it? If indeed that was the case, he was deeply ashamed, and his father would be ashamed that he had let such feelings show.
She laughed lightly before smiling up at him, but the smile, Spock noticed, did not reach her eyes.
“I’m a woman Spock. We know these things.” She answered as if it was the most logical thing in the world. Spock pursed his lips with what he denied was irritation.
“That is not a viable answer. You cannot presume to know of what my…how I perceive the Captain.” He argued bitterly and instantly felt ashamed. This was why he had not analyzed these feelings yet. All it did was confuse him more, which in turn, only angered him and caused him to react emotionally. He was Vulcan. This was unacceptable.
Nyota huffed as she took a sip from her wine and clanged it back down on the table. Spock surmised this to be an expression of irritation directed at him.
“Seriously Spock? The way you look at him? Like he’s the only one in existence at that very moment? The way you hang on to his every word? Or how about the way you fought for him when you thought he was gone? How you abandoned every logical rule in the Vulcan handbook to avenge what you thought was his death? And no-I’m not saying you did the wrong thing so don’t look at me like that!” She added at the stony glare he’d set her with. Instantly he composed himself. “There’s only one emotion I can think of that would lead to a reaction like that.” She had stated fiercely, drawing various gazes from across the restaurant. He wished she would lower her voice. It was enough to have her witness him like this.
“Nyota-,” He started, but she cut him off.
“Love Spock. You love him!” She said almost desperately as her eyes began to moisten. He blinked at her, completely speechless. He could feel the pain radiating off her in waves, and it crushed him to know that he was the one causing it. Her words however left him sitting there in silence. He hadn’t had time to analyze what exactly he felt for the Captain. But love? Could that really be what it was he felt? Looking at Nyota now though, he couldn’t deny that he felt something for her too. It was not love-at least not in the romantic sense-but he did harbor affection for her. Did she question this?
“Nyota. I do care for you despite what you may believe.” He finally answered in a soft tone. She leaned in towards him and took his hand again, her skin hot to the touch.
“But you don’t love me…at least not like that.” She started. He opened his mouth to argue that Vulcans did not love, as love was a human emotion, but she quickly continued. “Of course you care about me Spock, and just because we’re not together doesn’t mean that you’ll stop caring about me, just like I won’t stop caring about you. But you’ll never look at me like that, and I won’t be the person who stands in the way of your happiness. Too many people have done that to you Spock, and I won’t be added to the list.” She then retracted her hand and pulled them together to cover her eyes as she began to cry softly. The human in him wanted to embrace her, to fight away her tears which were because of him, emotion be damned. But he was unsure if it would be warranted.
“You were there every single day he was in the hospital Spock, you practically never left his side! And for the past-almost seven months now you’ve spent more time with him than you have with me! You’re girlfriend!” Her voice was getting louder again.
“Captain Kirk is my superior officer, and as Starfleet has just experienced a crisis situation, it is only logical that the majority of my time be spent in his presence to help deal with the consequences.” Spock rebutted quietly as he averted her gaze. Her expression remained unconvinced.
“Really Spock? So meeting him at his apartment five days a week for chess-or whatever it is you guys do-is dealing with the consequences? Sending him messages-inviting him to go with you to see your mother’s hometown is professional?” She accused and instantly her eyes widened as her hand shot to her mouth. Spock raised an eyebrow.
The message. He had sent it two days ago to Jim-but he had yet to get a reply. He told himself that with how busy the Captain was, he just had not had the time to read it. Right now though that wasn’t what he cared about. Right now he cared about how Nyota had found out about the message when he had never even told her about it.
“May I inquire as to how you came by this knowledge?” He asked crisply, his eyebrow still elevated. Averting his gaze, she twiddled her hands nervously before answering.
“I…read it on your computer terminal.” She answered quietly.
“And why, might I ask, were you endeavoring to read my personal messages?”
Her sheepish look transcended into a glare as she sat up straighter in her chair. “Firstly, you left your account open on the computer that WE SHARE so I couldn’t help but read the damn message Spock. Next time…send that shit over your PADD-,”
He opened his mouth to interrupt but she stuck a finger in his face. Half the restaurant was staring at them now.
“-And secondly, shouldn’t you be more concerned with why you’re asking your superior officer to accompany you on what’s clearly a personal trip that you should be asking your girlfriend to go on?” She finished loudly, and at once he saw the point she was trying to make. As his romantic companion, Nyota should have been the logical and emotional choice should she not? Instead-he had chosen Jim without a second thought.
There were a few moments of awkward silence where Nyota just openly gaped at him, waiting for him to respond. He had no logical argument to follow up with.
“I am...sorry that I hurt you.” He settled for, and he meant it most sincerely. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Nyota, and he had carelessly done so. She took a few more moments to collect herself before she sighed heavily and peered back at him.
“There’s nothing to apologize for. You can’t help who you love. I’m just…sorry that it wasn’t me after all.” She answered sadly.
“That is incorrect. You are right in your assessment of my actions. I should have extended the invitation to you firstly.” He went on, ignoring the guilt swelling up within him.
“No Spock. You shouldn’t have. You obviously wanted Jim to go with you and not me and-let me finish-,” She implored as he opened his mouth again, “-and that’s okay. I…I want you to do what makes you happy. If you love him…”
“This emotion you keep referring to has yet to be determined Nyota. Let me point out that for me to act on a particular emotion, it must exist first.” He stated almost tiredly. She stared evenly at him, making him feel illogically like he was three feet tall.
“Wouldn’t you say it’s logical Spock, that until you do determine just what it is you feel for Kirk, that you not be in a romantic relationship with me?” She asked him pointedly, making him raise another eyebrow. He could not fault her logic. She smiled in spite of herself, but again…it did not reach her eyes.
“That’s what I thought…but so help me, if that bastard hurts you…”
And that had been that. Of course news of their break up had reached the rest of the Enterprise’s senior officer’s within the course of a few days, but the details of just why the couple had split up remained a secret at Spock’s request. Under no circumstances was the Captain to know of the troubling feelings he was harboring for him. Nyota fortunately had agreed earnestly to keep their conversation private.
“It’s not my place anyway Spock.” She had assured him, and he had no reason not to believe her, for she was correct. However it was because of said breakup that Jim had dragged him along with the Doctor to the drinking establishment they now inhabited. According to the Captain, the Vulcan was in need of a ‘boy’s night out,’ as the human had termed it. Spock decided to accept their invitation, even though he had no idea what a boy’s night out even was. He agreed solely on the fact that the Captain-Jim, would be there.
As they neared closer to their chosen booth and Spock was brought out of his musings, McCoy looked up from his third alcoholic beverage of the evening and beckoned impatiently for them to take a seat.
“For the love of God, I’ve been sitting here by myself so long I think I’ve started to mold to the damn seat! What? Did one of you fall in or something?” McCoy exasperated, bringing his drink down with unnecessary force. Spock raised his eyebrow at the outburst.
“To what are you referring Doctor? I can assure you that both the Cap…Jim and myself remained in a standing position for the entirety of our departure from you. There was none of this falling that you speak of.”
McCoy rolled his eyes and took another swig from his drink, completely emptying the glass. Jim suddenly scooted over the second drink in his hand to the Doctor who grasped it greedily.
“Well how gracious of you Jim, you thought of me. I’m touched!” McCoy stated in an exaggerated tone, earning a small chuckle from Kirk.
“I always think of you Bones,” he replied lightly. The Doctor took a giant swig from his newly acquired beverage and jerked his head in the direction that they had come from.
“So really Jim, what the hell took so long?” It was Jim’s turn to look annoyed now.
“What do you think Bones? I swear I can’t go anywhere is this damned city without getting swarmed! I’m about to lose my mind here.” He replied angrily, McCoy however, pretended to look shocked.
“My oh my, I never thought I’d see the day when James T. Kirk was actually unhappy about being in the spot light! Hell must have frozen over,” McCoy exclaimed sarcastically, and while Spock was confused by his reference to the human religious location known as Hell, and what it had to do with winter conditions, he found himself agreeing with the Doctor as to Jim’s usually large ego.
“I too agree with Doctor McCoy’s statement, I have always assumed you found attention to be pleasing.” McCoy looked up at him and smiled, which in itself was a rarity as far as Spock was concerned.
“Even the Vulcan agrees with me, which basically means I’m right.” McCoy added playfully. Jim sighed and regarded them both with irritation.
“Okay fine, I may have a…a rather large ego, but there’s still only so much a person can take, even someone as amazing as myself.” Jim defended cheekily.
“Oh God here we go…” from McCoy as he palmed his forehead.
“HOWEVER-,” Jim looked pointedly to his friend, “-you have to admit Bones, Starfleet has been up our asses so much these past seven months that I’m starting to wonder why we just don’t have our own reality show. And not only that, but they act like no one died! Like Marcus and that fucking Kahn bastard didn’t try to commit mass murder! They just carry on happily ignoring the sacrifices those men and women made! It makes me fucking sick.” He exasperated as he also took a rather large swig from his drink.
Eyebrows quirked, Spock began to say something but was cut off again by the Captain. “This is supposed to be a damn shore leave, which is really just code for-we got our asses kicked and Starfleet wants us to collect our fucking marbles-but it’s just been one award, interview, or whatever the hell you want to call it, after another! I just want to get back up in space ya’know? Away from all this. We’ve been on the ground too long.” Jim finished longingly.
Spock noticed that Jim’s face had become quite somber as he stared fixedly at his glass. Errantly, he wondered if Jim had yet to read his invitation regarding the trip he intended to take. However, he decided not to ask, and not because he couldn’t bear it if Jim actually refused him.
McCoy stared pityingly at his friend, not knowing what to say.
“While I do agree that this has not been a very traditional shore leave Captain-,” Spock started.
“Jim, Spock…Jim.” He corrected tiredly, still gazing at his glass as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.
“Very well, Jim…while I do agree that this has not been what humans exactly identify as a respectable shore leave, I do not think it will be much longer until Starfleet makes the decision to send the Enterprise back into space for the five-year mission. Therefore, I find it reasonable to conclude you will not have to endure these emotions you are experiencing much longer.” Spock asserted earnestly. While he had no facts to back up his statement…which made it completely illogical, he couldn’t help himself. For some reason, he felt, actually felt, the need to offer some form of encouragement to his Captain-his friend and perhaps more-who obviously had needed it.
Jim looked up from his drink and gave Spock a small, but sincere smile. Spock felt a warm stirring in his abdomen at the gesture. Since when did the Captain’s smiles elicit that kind of reaction? He filed it away so that he could meditate on it at a later date.
“Thanks Spock.” He said warmly. McCoy looked from Spock to Jim, and then back from Jim to Spock again.
“Well I’ll be damned, did Spock actually just attempt to cheer you up?” He accused in a voice laced with disbelief. Jim chuckled lightly and slapped his hand on Spock’s shoulder in a friendly gesture. To any other Vulcan, this would be highly inappropriate, but Spock was used to Jim’s unorthodox behavior towards him, and it didn’t bother him anymore. In fact, he found himself yearning for the touch these days, though he would never admit to it.
Spock turned his gaze from Jim back to the Doctor.
“I would like to clarify Doctor McCoy that I made no such attempt-,” He started, but was quickly cut off by McCoy.
“Bullshit Spock, you were trying to cheer him up, don’t try and deny it.” He argued, swigging down more alcohol. Spock raised his eyebrows higher this time.
“If you would allow me to finish Doctor?” he asserted. Both his fellow humans shared a quick glance. Jim gave a small shrug and McCoy lazily motioned for Spock to continue.
“Thank you. I was going to say that no attempt was made…judging by the radical shift in facial expression and the subtle altering of his tone of voice, the Captain has indeed been cheered. My attempt, as you call it, was successful.” Spock wasn’t sure what had caused it, or why, but suddenly both the humans at his booth had gone into a fit of laughter. McCoy had his face plastered on the table in an attempt to mask his maniacal hilarity while Jim was sprawled back in his seat, clutching at his side, laughing hysterically. The noise was beginning to draw the attention of the other inhabitants of the bar who were shooting them curious looks.
“I fail to see what is so amusing.” He piped in.
“Oh…shit Spock,” Jim managed to get out between his laughter, “I knew there was a reason I kept you around as my First Officer.”
“I would deduce that you have kept me around sir as a direct consequence of my abilities as Science Officer, as well my ability to-,” he would have continued his argument, but the Doctor and his Captain were laughing even harder now, only adding to his confusion, though he couldn’t help the feeling of warmth that seemed to encase him whenever Jim laughed in his presence. It was such an endearing sound and he found it pleasantly pleasing. McCoy seemed to notice his puzzled expression and started to calm himself enough to talk to him.
“We’re laughing Spock because, believe this or not, we think you might have actually just told a joke.” McCoy revealed with a rather large smile plastered on his face. Spock tried hard not appear offended.
“Illogical.” He stated plainly, and for some reason, this only caused the laughter to return full spectrum. Spock deduced that the two humans before him were now sufficiently inebriated, and that their behavior was a direct result of that. He had been around inebriated humans before, and it seemed like they acted highly emotional in regards to everything, or attempted to physically assault everything in the surrounding vicinity. In this case, an overabundance of laughter seemed to be the result.
“Perhaps gentlemen, it would be wise to cease your consumption of alcohol, I detect that you both are beginning to become highly intoxicated.” Spock attempted knowing it was in vain.
“Nonsense Spock, we’ve only just started!” Jim defended loudly.
“Perhaps you may think so Jim, but Doctor McCoy on the other hand, is now drinking his fourth alcoholic beverage this evening.” Spock pointed out in a matter of fact tone. McCoy glared at him and then guzzled the remaining liquid in his glass. When he was finished, he slammed the glass down hard onto the table and stared straight into Spock’s eyes.
“Make that my fifth.” He slurred and began to stumble out of their booth and towards the bar, obviously to purchase more alcohol. Spock suppressed a sigh and began to rise; however, Jim grabbed his elbow lightly, signaling for him to sit back down. Spock, with difficulty, ignored the seemingly electric tingle that shot up his arm and through his body at the contact.
“Jim, I do not think it is wise to allow Dr. McCoy to wander this establishment unattended, he could injure himself.” Spock argued in a nonchalant tone.
“Feelings for the good Doctor, Spock?”
Spock raised his eyebrow.
“I do not understand.”
Jim rolled his eyes playfully at the response before fixing him with a serious stare.
“Look Spock, he can take care of himself okay? He’s been doing this for a long time now; you’re just not used to seeing him like this, you know…all emotional and what not.”
“That is incorrect, from my observations of Doctor McCoy, he is quite emotional the majority of the time.”
Jim laughed but did not comment. Spock continued to look at him with a questioning gaze but Jim was not forthcoming. He didn’t see too much harm in being slightly inebriated. Living amongst humans for so long, he knew it was a part of their culture. A means to wind down as Nyota had once clarified to him, but for the Captain to allow his Chief Medical Officer to become severely inebriated? This he did not understand.
Jim studied Spock’s face and obviously noticed his confusion because he sighed heavily and nursed his forehead with his hands. “Look, Spock…” he said as he dropped his gaze down to the floor before peering back up again to fix said gaze on the Vulcan again. “This is what people do when they come to places like this. They get drunk, they make scenes…they act illogical.” he explained with a hard stare, like he was talking to a child.
“I am neither drunk, nor acting illogically Captain, yet I am in attendance.” He stated plainly.
“I’m aware of this Spock…your point being?”
“My point being is that, if the reasons for coming to such a place are as you stated them to be, I do not understand why you took the liberty to invite me to accompany you and Doctor McCoy tonight.” Jim suddenly looked taken a back.
“You just got out of a pretty serious relationship Spock! I thought you could use some…you know…emotio-support!” the Captain argued as he quickly corrected himself.
“I am Vulcan sir, this support you refer to is unneeded.”
Jim suddenly looked annoyed, almost angry. Perhaps he had said something wrong.
“I just thought you’d like to spend time with me as a friend Spock, you know? Not as my First Officer, just as my friend-and no, I know we hang out a lot at my apartment, but I’m talking about out in the open. And, well, this is what friends do with each other. They spend time with each other. And when they think the other one is upset over the sudden conclusion of a relationship that’s been ongoing for a few years now-they try to be there to support them, no matter how much they might not think they need it. I’m sorry if I assumed the wrong thing.” Jim ended rather bitterly as he sipped from his drink unenthusiastically.
Spock was a little taken aback. He knew Jim considered him a friend-and, though he would never tell his father, he also considered Jim a friend and much more than that, but these practices were new to him. He had never been invited to just hang out as the humans termed it. He had always assumed that, while he got along with his colleagues in a professional setting, that they did not seek his company outside of it, which would explain why he never got invited to social gatherings. Yes he spent a considerable amount of his free time with Jim at his apartment, but it was usually over a game of chess, or to discuss issues related to the current happenings in Starfleet. Such times were logical, and wanted.Yearned for.
He had never before wished to attend these social gatherings in the first place as they served no logical purpose. In fact, if someone would have asked him a year ago, he would have declined. Even Nyota had tried on numerous occasions to get him more socially involved, but he always refused. To Vulcans, spending time with one another outside of the pursuit of some intelligent goal was illogical; since said time would be better spent doing something logical. Unless the Vulcans in question were Bondmates, or parent and child, then a relationship outside of that was not heard of. Friendships weren’t viewed as logical to Vulcans unless there was some logical benefit to such a relationship. Now though, he was starting to feel differently. He was starting to wish for things that he had not wished for since he was a child.
As a child, Spock often desired to seek out friends. To quench the loneliness he often felt, much to the doing of his human half. (A half that had most undoubtedly run more rampant in his youth until he learned to control it.) It surprised Spock to come to the realization that here he was, acting illogically, and he didn’t have an ounce of regret about it. Because Jim was here.
Spock had been so deep in these thoughts that he didn’t acknowledge Jim sigh and turn away from him. It was only the Captain’s voice which brought him back to reality.
“Just forget about it Spock, okay? As soon as Bones gets back, we’ll get out of here, and you can go home. Or we can go play chess, I know you like when we do that.”
Spock could tell that he’d offended his friend; that through his actions, Jim assumed that Spock would rather not spend time with him outside of a professional capacity at all. This was not the case.
“Jim, you misunderstand me.” He stated in a determined voice which caused the Captain to swivel back around to stare at him, truly curious now. He knew that what he was about to admit was extremely private to him, but he wanted Jim to understand.
“I am not stating that time spent with you and Doctor McCoy is in anyway unpleasant to me, but rather…I have observed in my time spent amongst humans that I do not belong; that I cannot participate in your customs and thus it is logical to assume that I may make you…feel somewhat awkward.” Spock paused briefly, suddenly finding it difficult to voice what he wanted to say. Jim waited, appearing as if he was hanging onto every word.
“I…I believe that you and the Doctor would benefit from your time more efficiently without me.” He tried immensely to keep his tone even, plain, and without emotion. However, Spock couldn’t help the slight regret for his situation to taint his voice. Inside, he berated himself for allowing this slip in emotion.
He glanced at Jim, awaiting a response. What if he agreed with Spock? What if he did decide his free time would be better spent without Spock’s company? He felt a trickle of fear emerge but stomped it back down as quickly as it had appeared.
After what felt like hours, but had in reality only been five point two seconds, Jim finally responded.
“Man, you have GOT to be kidding me!” He shouted. Spock continued to stare, perplexed by the reaction. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that.
“I assure you Jim, I do not jest.” He tried to explain, suddenly coming to the conclusion that saying anything at all had been a grave mistake.
“No, no that’s not what I mean…” He paused to run his hand through his dirty blond hair. Errantly Spock wondered what Jim’s hair would feel like to his own, sensitive fingers and was immediately ashamed of the thought. If he had been human, he would have blushed.
“Spock, I know that you don’t participate in stupid shit like this.” Jim waved his hands about him, indicating the atmosphere of the establishment. “And that because of that you feel somehow-pardon the expression-but…alienated.” Spock raised his eyebrows, but Jim soldiered on, “but I want you to understand something,” and here Jim’s gaze became hard and serious. “I hope I’m not committing some kind of big Vulcan offense by saying this, but…I consider you my best friend Spock, and there’s no-no-situation that you could embarrass me in. Do you understand?”
Spock took a moment to consider Jim’s words, which were eliciting profound emotions within him. He was about to answer when a loud shattering bellowed across the bar, causing both men to forget about their sentimental moment and turn rapidly towards the source. Spock noticed that Doctor McCoy was lying on his stomach on the floor across the room, clutching at his nose which was now bleeding profusely. He let his keen Vulcan eyes travel up to what appeared to be four sizable men, one of which sported so many tattoos and piercings; you could barely make out his natural skin color. It didn’t take a logical mind like Spock’s to come to the conclusion that these men were highly inebriated.
“If I wanted your smart ass mouth you piece of Starfleet shit…I’d ask for it!” The largest of the four taunted as he made to grab the Doctor by his jacket and no doubt further assault him.
“Son of a bi-,”Jim had started but Spock didn’t hear the rest, for he had already risen and made his way over to the Doctor with so much speed, that when he had stopped defensively in front of McCoy, the four men had stumbled back in surprise.
“You will cease this attack.” Spock said evenly as he glared severely at the men. By now Jim had come over, and immediately kneeled down to help Doctor McCoy up who was still clutching at his nose in pain.
“Dammit Jim…I think my nose is fractured.” McCoy stated as best he could through all the blood colluding his face. The entire bar was silent now, all eyes glued to the confrontation in front of them. It was amazing how violence never failed to capture everyone’s attention-regardless of species.
“Cease? Are you fucking kidding me right now? Just who the hell are you to tell us what to do you fucking elf!” The heavily tattooed man bellowed. The smell of alcohol on his breath was overpowering, bringing Spock to the conclusion that his earlier assumption had been correct, these men were highly inebriated, and therefore would be harder to reason with.
Spock took no notice to the derogatory remark they had made to him, although he could see Jim tense slightly beside him and open his mouth to lash some form of an insult back at them. However, the look that Spock gave his friend was enough to silence him-for now.
“You have just struck a Starfleet Officer, for which the penalties are-,” he had started to list them off, but one of the men interrupted him as he strode dangerously close to Spock, his eyes as cold as ice.
“And I’m about to strike another one if you don’t shut your mouth, you hear what I’m sayin’?” Spock held his gaze with confidence but raised his eyebrows.
“Have I done something to infer to you that my hearing is impaired? Of course I can discern what you are saying, however, I will continue to speak freely despite your previous request.” Spock could tell he was getting angering the man. His whole frame shook in barely contained rage, but he would not back down.
“You’ve got a smart mouth Vulcan.” The man said the word like it was something disgusting. “I think you’ve got an even smarter mouth than your bitch friend over there.” The man argued as he glanced aggressively at McCoy who looked menacing with the crimson blood covering his face. Suddenly Jim reacted.
With a look of pure rage, he made to move towards the men, his hands already balled up into fists. Spock shot his hand out and set it against his friend’s chest, silently forbidding him to engage in hostile action. Violence was always to be a last resort.
Jim looked put out at Spock’s gesture and attempted to move his hand but Spock would not let up and soon he found himself containing his Captain easily with his arms, preventing him from engaging the men. Jim became increasingly angry at his attempts to restrain him. Spock could feel the emotion radiating off his Captain in waves.
“Godammit Spock! Let me go! So I can beat the shit out of these assholes!” Jim pleaded angrily, but Spock would not let up.
“We must not resort to violence Jim, it must only be used as a last-,”
“Spock eh? Like…like THE Spock?” One of the four men stated, realization dawning on them. Jim suddenly stopped struggling, intrigued by the group’s sudden interest in him.
“Yes, my name is Spock, First Officer on board the Enterprise.” Spock clarified, not seeing how this information was relevant. To Spock’s utter surprise, all four of the men started laughing hysterically. Spock turned to Jim and Doctor McCoy who just stared back at him in bewilderment. The rest of the bar’s inhabitants looked to each other nervously, especially the bartender, who was holed up against the far wall, fear evident in his eyes. He had obviously seen these men in action before. “And you are the famous Captain Kirk? I figured you’d be taller in real life.” This statement only fueled the laughter that the men were exhibiting. However, being that that laughter was now taking place at his Captain’s expense, Spock couldn’t help the flame of anger which had begun to take root in the pit of his stomach.
“I apologize; I do not see the humor in this situation.” Spock stated evenly, as if he were just commenting on the weather. No one would have ever guessed as to the ever increasing rage building in his system. The largest of the men pulled himself together long enough to glance back up Spock, an evil grin on his face.
“So…you’re telling me that I’m actually getting the chance to beat the living shit out of the half-breed freak they let parade around Starfleet?” The insult was meant to make him angry, to attempt to goad him into a confrontation. Spock would not allow this. He kept his face impassive, this wasn’t the first time he had suffered insults such as these and he was very used to them by now.
Jim however, had gone deadly still, almost dangerously so. Like the calm before the storm as some humans would say.
“So tell me Spooock.” The man drew his name out, making a joke of it, “I know enough about politics to know that your father is the Vulcan Ambassador?”
“This is correct, though it is not relevant-,” Spock started to cut him off, but the man just continued speaking as if the Vulcan had never spoken.
“I bet your traitor mother lay awake in bed at night, just begging to be fucked by a real man instead of that Vulcan filth. I bet she-,” the man never got a chance to finish his insults as both he and Jim launched themselves simultaneously at them. Spock’s abhorrence to a violent confrontation lay long forgotten.
The bar was suddenly in total chaos as limbs connected with bodies, and blood connected with the floor. Spock had easily taken down two of them in less than four point three seconds, and Jim had already almost incapacitated his own opponent.
Patrons scrambled quickly to get out of the way of the enraged Vulcan and his Captain as they slung the men all about the bar. The fourth man-the heavily tattooed one-hastily came to the conclusion that he was now outnumbered two-to-one (McCoy was busy shouting over the chaos, trying to get everyone to calm down) and made to make his escape.
“I’d run too you bigoted mother fucker!” Jim yelled after him, clearly content to let the man run like the coward he was but not Spock. An alien, yet somehow familiar rage had overtaken the half-Vulcan, and there was absolutely no way that he was going to let him get away. He would take him down. Make him pay for insulting his mother.
“Spock!” He vaguely heard Jim shout as the Vulcan took after the man.
The man looked over his shoulder and took in Spock’s murderous gaze and could only conclude what was about to happen.
Despite Jim’s orders to stop, Spock was on the human in less than two point five seconds. Picking him up by his neck with one hand, he slammed the human full force against the wall, his feet dangling off the ground. Both McCoy and Jim were now shouting at him, attempting to bring him out of the violent haze he found himself utterly lost in. The rest of the bar just watched in shocked silence. They had never before seen a Vulcan act the way Spock was acting, and now that they were getting to witness it first hand, the sight was terrifying.
Spock resisted the oh so tempting urge to encircle his hand tighter on the man’s throat and crush his windpipe, but he felt himself coming back to some semblance of reality as the Captain’s voice continued to sound relentlessly behind him. The green blood lust he had been seeing was slowly starting to fade back to normal.
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes to collect his control, to collect it, and dispense it throughout his entire being. He must control. Under no circumstances could he let this anger control him. Take control Spock! He told himself firmly.
Finally his body started obeying his mind and he slowly lowered the man back to the floor, unharmed. The man sputtered and coughed violently as he doubled over and grabbed at his neck where the Vulcan’s fingers had once been. The man tried to escape yet again, but not before Spock reached out, grabbed at his collar and pulled him towards him, his face centimeters away.
“I intend to allow you to leave here unharmed, but make no mistake, it would be in your best interest for us not to meet again.” Spock threatened him in a low whisper, so only he could hear it. The man nodded dumbly and Spock instantly released him. He stumbled back on himself and scrambled to break free from the building, tripping twice before actually making it out of the door.
The bar remained silent for another good minute; so silent you could hear a pen drop. Finally, Spock turned back to his Captain and Doctor McCoy, who were both shooting him worried glances. Jim appeared as if he wanted to say something, but he never voiced it. It was the southern drawl of the Doctor that finally broke through the silence.
“Spock…you okay?” he questioned in that medically concerned tone that all Doctors possessed. Spock peered up at him. No, no I am not okay, right now, I am ashamed, I have lost control…again. Spock chastised himself. His behavior had been unacceptable, and would definitely require an extensive amount of meditation to rectify.
“Spock?” It was Jim this time, obviously becoming more concerned at his continued silence. The gentle sound of his voice helped tremendously to quell the raging inferno which had possessed him not minutes ago. It seemed like Jim had that effect on him more and more lately.
“I assure you Captain, Doctor. All is well.” He didn’t want to elaborate on his condition right now, not in front of all these people. McCoy didn’t look convinced as he gazed at Spock’s hands. Curious, Spock peered down to see what had captured the Doctor’s attention and realized that his hands were balled up into fists, his green-tinged skin white with tension.
Uncurling his fists proved to be a challenge, but he managed it nonetheless and turned to survey the damages he had dealt during the altercation. There were a few broken tables and chairs, and quite a bit of broken glass littered the floor, but that was it. Spock turned his attention to the bartender who was looking tentatively at him.
“I do apologize for making a scene in your place of business, if you will allow me too, I would be more than willing to pay for any damages, you can contact me through Starfleet’s directory. I would also recommend you call the local authorities and relay to them what has happened.” He stated simply and with a slight nod he turned and exited the building, the bystanders hastily making way for him.
He tried to make his escape swiftly but it wasn’t long before Jim and Doctor McCoy had exited from the building and were trailing right behind him. Jim called out to him.
“Hey! Hey Spock, where are you going! Hey wait!” He yelled after him desperately. Spock increased his speed. He didn’t want Jim to see him like this.
“Dammit you pointy-eared bastard, just wait a second; we need to talk about this!” McCoy joined in. Reluctantly, Spock halted, causing both his comrades to almost run into him. Slowly he turned and sent them a very rare, almost regretful look. Jim stepped closer to him, but Spock shot out his hand, motioning for him to stop. Jim winced at the gesture.
“Spock, you have nothing to be ashamed of, those guys were real assholes, hell I WANTED to give them a real kick in the balls same as you!” Jim tried reasoning.
“I am not ashamed Captain, for that would be a human emotion.”
McCoy snorted, “Yea, and you definitely don’t have any of those lying around…”
“Bones.” Jim warned his friend, his eyes never leaving Spock’s.
“Doctor, I would recommend that you take yourself to the nearest medical facility and attain treatment for your injuries, meanwhile, I shall take me leave.” Spock said dismissively as he turned from them.
“Spock wait a damn second!” Jim protested, clearly growing irritated with his avoidance.
“I cannot Captain, I must return to my quarters, I have some things I need to attend to.” Jim appeared slightly hurt at first by the dismissal, but he nodded slowly in understanding.
“Okay Spock, comm me if you need anything, I guess I’ll take Bones to fix his face.”
“Hey! I’m quite able to fix my own face thank you very much.” The Doctor protested.
“Good night Captain,” he bid to Jim before he nodded to McCoy, “Doctor.”
“Hey Spock?” Doctor McCoy questioned, his voice slightly muffled from the fractured, bloody nose. Spock inclined his head, but the Doctor remained silent. Wishing the Doctor would just come out and say whatever it was he wanted to say, Spock shifted his feet impatiently.
“Thanks…I mean…thank you.” He said meekly, but with the utmost sincerity.
“For what Doctor?”
“For sticking up for me. I know I don’t say it much, but you’re a good friend Spock.” The Doctor complimented him quietly, a slight blush to his cheeks. The Vulcan knew it took every ounce of courage just too even think of saying something like that to him. Spock stood speechless for three point six seconds before responding.
“I did the logical thing Doctor, if they had continued their attack upon you, your injuries would be greater than they are at present, and Starfleet cannot afford to lose one of it’s Chief Medical Officers at this point in time.” He responded plainly. McCoy rolled his eyes.
“Whatever floats your boat Spock.” The Doctor retorted sourly. Instead of supplying his usual logical banter with the Doctor, Spock simply nodded to the two gentlemen and quickly set off towards home, unaware of the predatory eyes following his every step.