Honesty Is Necessary At Times...

[miss_ariake]

I have two things to get off my chest on this post; one which eats away at me all the time and another one in a last minute idea that has just come to me. It's a light-hearted challenge for myself which I need you guys to help me with! I'd greatly appreciate it if you all join in and do this for me; of course, I also appreciate if some of you don't

Comments

[autumn_shudder]

You're not an inconvenience at all, my dear. *hugs very tightly*

You're a strong person that has already shown the past. You just need to stay strong now. Try not to give in to the urge to hurt yourself, cause it will only add to you feeling bad about it. This horrible time will be over soon and you have friends that will always be there for you, that don't mind you moaning at all. Hang on to that. We all have bad days/weeks at times, but they'll past. Sometimes you simply have to sit it out.

People like the ones you were describing suck and aren't worthy of your attention. My friend always says "who doesn't want me, doesn't deserve me". And it's true.

We should chat someday, my dear. I had a lot of experiences you were describing when I was in Ireland.

You're not alone and you're great the way you are. ♥ No need to change. *hugs*

[miss_ariake]

What hurts the most is that I never imagined I'd allow myself to get this bad while I was here in Japan. My mum said over and over again that it's going to be hard, it's going to be tough for someone like you and I just shrugged it off in denial.

It's a spontaneous urge and internally doesn't feel like one I can control. It's not true though, I can control it. Eventually, I will be able to.

I'm hoping to sit this one out and that once I get Christmas and New Year out of the way, I'll be better. I have been happy here in Japan, I have. And I know I can continue that way.

Your friend sounds awesome, that's a wonderful expression. I wish I could hold it close and believe in it too.

My dear, you are wonderful the way you are too and I so wholly appreciate you reading my endless moaning of sorts. Deep down, I don't want to change most of what I'm doing and I can be content with myself. I'll admit, it's mostly all of you here on LJ who make me happy with myself.

We definitely should chat, I'd really like that myself ^_^ Thank you <3*

[deepseabed]

I understand how you're feeling. I MANAGE to read/write in English, but it's really not good, and I don't speak English. Even when I'm on LJ or Twitter, I often feel inferior. But I'm here because I want to be here. (And of course, I want to improve my English ability.)

Hang in there. I hope it gets better soon.
I hope I can do something for you as a Japanese. If you're worried about Japanese language or something, you can ask me anything. :)

*hugs*

[miss_ariake]

That's the thing, I knew I had to go Japan to improve my language ability and I already feel like I've gotten much better! Reading wise and writing... my speaking could be better. I want to be here in Japan, I just wish I wasn't made to feel unwanted.

I'm hoping it gets better; I'm only here for another 7 months and I'm going to just keep my head down and concentrate on my studies.

You are very sweet my dear, if I ever have trouble with any 作文 or 文法, I'll definitely ask :D Main thing is just practising; perhaps I can write to you in Japanese ^^

Thank you so much, I appreciate you reading and being such a lovely person *hugs* <3

[sheerpoetry]

*HUGS*
Honey. I am so, SO sorry. I haven't known you very long or very well, but I do know you're an amazing girl--intelligent, sweet, kind, interesting. You do NOT deserve to be feeling like this! And I hate that there's no one there (whether they be "friends" or whatever) for you right now, when you need it.

I've never been in either of those situations, so there's not much I can offer in way of advice. Although that you probably know more than you think/realize (this happened to me with French). And you're at least making an effort, which is more than most people. And people's minds work differently--those people you know may not have it as together as they seem. What's important is that you're trying and you like it and it's something YOU want to do. Now, if you truly don't want to do it, that's one thing. But don't give up because you're struggling; you'll regret it later. (Another caveat: unless you're in terribly over your head and really can't handle it. That would be bad

[miss_ariake]

*HUGS*

Well, at my university, I don't consider there to be anyone that I can talk to about this at all. No way would I even begin to tell them half the things I wish I could. I do however have a friend at a nearby University back from England. We went out on Saturday and it was such a relief and a joy to get out of my room. I just don't want to always run to her whenever I'm down; I felt guilty when I used to live with her and I wanted to moan or cry.

As for truly wanting to do Japanese... this is the longest I've ever held an interest in something academic that wasn't influenced by either of my parents. I fell in love with Japan and the language on my own, and I'll be damned if I stop now. It's hard and it never was proclaimed to be easy, but I really want to work at it. My problem is, I say these words but I'm made to feel that I'm not trying as hard as I can. That need to be social, I don't want to be. They make me uncomfortable. Maybe they don't have it together but they are betting at hiding it than I am

[sheerpoetry]

I'm glad you've got someone there you can do things with! And I really wouldn't think she'd mind; if she's a friend, she'll want to be there for you. (Really, if you ever need me, I've got e-mail and chat. I was up until after 6am this morning.)

Girl, you don't have to hide anything. If that's not the way you work, don't try to conform to how everyone else does. To me, it sounds like you're really interested and dedicated and willing to work--that's what matters. And YOU know how hard you're working--who is anyone else to tell you you're not trying hard enough? I mean, you're in Japan, studying. I don't know that you get much more serious about your work! Really, just worry about you. To heck with all those other icky people.

No worries, dear! Sometimes, it just helps to know that other people know what's going on with you. *hugs* I hope you get feel better--and about your studies!

*squees* Tom Kirk. The man is amazing, no doubt. :D I AM SO EXCITED.

You are so, SO welcome! *hugs hugs HUGS*

[autumn_shudder]

I forgot, I'd love to see some more Wolstenkirk from you. Wobell or Domkirk is fine, too. Challenge: make it epic in length. ;) When it includes Chris, Bassfinger!Porn would be great. *blushes*

[miss_ariake]

Well, I've started work on some Domkirk because it's an idea I've never ever dabbled with it. Check out my reply to sheerpoetry's comment for a sneak look...it's all subject to change though :)

Epic in length... there are a lot of series with Belldom but why not make a series with another pairing? Hmm, that can be a project and a half. Maybe a mini-series? :D I've never felt completely writing anything other than belldom so it would definitely be a challenge! Thank you so much! *hugs*

Oh and Bassfinger!Porn? *writes down a few notes* Anything for you, my dear <3

[terrabrandford]

Babe, I clicked the first one and I just wanted to let you know that you should follow what your heart desires...
That is the way to go.
Never let anything stop you.

I love you <3

[miss_ariake]

You know, I thought about your recent journal entry and I truly wanted to leave a comment there for you. It's not a situation I have equally been in but that feeling of swimming with your head barely above the surface before you drown... it's on my family has been in for a long while now. How my mother continues on, just brings tears to my eyes and so did your troubles.

I wish for nothing better than for you to be happy, my dear; you are such a precious sweetheart, you deserve to have a smile permanently on your face. <3

[terrabrandford]

Thank you very much, I appreciate that.
I'm trying to live day by day, but sometimes; even the strongest of souls shatters at a certain point in life.
I actually cried when I first read your comment. I felt very lonely when I wrote my journal entry...