In which I review and picspam the new Skins episode - Thomas
So... Skins is back. I'm not sure what to think. All of the storylines of the second generation feel forced, but I still do like most of the characters. I decided to watch the ep anyhow, and get myself through by reviewing it in a rather snarky manner. If you disagree with my criticism, please feel free to not read, but don't bitch at me about my opinions. Thanks.
We start out with a random club scene, loud music, dancing, making out, all the usual. Some random girl throws herself to her death on the dance floor. People flip. We see our regular kids there, looking worried. I originally wonder if it was Effy, but when it looks like she's dead, I'm willing to assume it's not. Thomas was running the club that night, so the owner pays him to keep quiet about the fact that they let in underage people, and there are drugs involved. If he doeesn't someone will come and find him and "snap his spine". Very dramatic.
Panda has awesome nail polish. She and Thomas head back to his house, where they are apprehended by his mother. Pandora tells his mother in a VERY awkward scene that they are not going to have sex. His mother then laments the lack of virgins in the UK. Thomas tells his mother about the dead girl, and shows her the money. She slaps him and tells him they don't need it, even though it's pretty obvious that they do. Thomas puts his sick brother, Daniel, to bed, then he and Pandora go back on their word to his mother and have sex.
This fades into a church scene at which Thomas is looking rather bored until he sees this hot girl singing in the choir, at which time he looks a bit happier and starts swaying to the music, which seems to be what his family wants him to do. He keeps staring at the girl until church ends. His family heads out the door, and they are stopped by the pastor who tells Thomas he hasn't seen him around lately. Thomas' mother is quick to inform the pastor that this is because Thomas' friends are evil and his girlfriend is a whore. Then the pastor makes some speech he apparently stole from Star Wars.
Then we see Thomas walking down the hallways at school, and he eventually gets to where our usual kids are sitting around. Cook tries to greet Thomas and bond with him about the girl's death, but Thomas blows him off. Random dude in a very plaid shirt tells Cook to stop smoking, and informs them that he's now the director of this "rubbish" college with all of the "rubbish" kids, and that things are going to change. Seems like a weirdo, which is in keeping with all the teachers/college personnel Skins has ever had. Doug is as awkward as ever and tells the kids that the police want to interview them about the dead girl.
Katie gets called up to talk to the police, and we see Emily and JJ discussing the fact that it's wrong to treat them all like they're criminals. Naomi looks disracted. Cook runs off. Emily asks Freddie if he's heard from Effy. He's weird about it, no surprise there. I've never noticed him with much emotion other than looking awkward and slightly hurt at all times. Easily the worst actor of the second generation. At least he's still cute. JJ tells everyone they shouldn't mention Effy, and that he's happy that she's gone and everyone is happy, which as they pan to show everyone... is obviously complete crap.
Thomas runs off. What is with all of the dramatic storming off in one direction or another? Cook is flushing drugs down the toilet when Thomas comes into the bathroom and lurks behind him. Thomas interrogates Cook about being the one to give the dead girl drugs, and as usual Cook makes some asshat comment to incite, and they start fighting about Panda. It really seems like the only drama the second generation can come up with is who fucked who, and who wants to. But whatever. Freddie breaks them up by saying that the cops called Cook's name.
Pandora finds Thomas in an empty classroom, and he says he's working on school. She says she needs a hug, which he reluctantly gets up and gives her. She tells him they're all skipping next period to go get drunk and looks astonished that he might actually want to work on his education rather than pissing his life away. She tries to feel him up, but he's not having any of that. She looks like someone just killed her puppy. Oh, the horror of your boyfriend not wanting to fuck you in a pretty much open classroom after he had a bad day. I get that they have more problems than that, but I thought her reaction was a bit ridiculous. Alas.
Thomas seems to be searching for something in the hallways, and he comes upon a classroom where the hot girl from church is singing. She looks lovely in pink. She says hi, and so does he. Oh, good, we're obviously going to have relationship drama here. Just what we need more of. Thomas walks his brother and sister to their pastor's house, and apparently the hot girl is his daughter. Oh, lovely. Crazy kids play instruments loudly until the hot girl tells them that Jesus wants them to shut up. They don't like Lady Gaga, and say she can't sing, which is several strikes against all of them right off the bat. Don't mess with Gaga. Hot girl starts singing a church song, and tells Thomas to join in. He does. She's lovely. Seriously, very pretty. I can see why he's infatuated. They sound good together. Pastor finds Thomas in the kitchen and asks Thomas why he never knew his daughter, and Thomas says he doesn't know, but that she's very pretty. We've established how I feel about that. Pastor tells him that he needs to trust the Lord. If I heard correctly, the pastor then asks Thomas to give him his soul, which Thomas seems to find odd. Hot girl yells for him, apparently his brother is having an asthma attack of some sort.
Daniel ends up in the hospital, and Thomas' mom comes in and freaks out at the doctor for implying that Daniel's condition might have something to do with their house being damp. Thomas says it is. The doctor says something about social services, and of course, Thomas' mother flips. She's kind of dramatic. She says that if his father were there, he would beat him, to which Thomas responds that his dad is dead and isn't doing them any good. Very true.
Thomas storms out (surprise, surprise) and hot girl and the pastor are sitting in the hallway. She aks him if everything is alright, and he says nothing is. He runs off and she follows. He's yammering something about the country not making sense, at which time she kisses him. They proceed to screw in a laundry room at the hospital. That was fast. *rolls eyes*
Pandora shows up at Thomas' house. Apparently she brought JJ and some movies. They proceed to awkwardly watch some movies, with JJ between them. Pandora offers Thomas a donut and he says he slept with another girl. She looks hurt, and he says she did it first. Did he not forgive her for that and they "started over"? What the hell was the point of that again? He tells her he wanted to, as if that's supposed to help somehow? She walks out. JJ looks worried.
Thomas lays in bed and apparently has a fantasty about screwing hot girl in the laundry room. Then he's walking around the city at night. Then he's back at school. Ooookay. He seems to peer around a corner and sees Panda being comforted by his "friends". Thomas then gets expelled for having been involved in the girl's death. He then proceeds to drink a ton. Convieniently, Naomi and Cook are there, and Cook, as always, makes an ass out of himself and calls Thomas out on cheating and hurting Pandora. Thomas then knocks him over and they fight again with Naomi yelling at them to stop the whole time. A lot of good that did. Someone finally pulls them apart. Thomas blames Cook for giving the girl the drugs that led to her dying, and Naomi says she did it. Thomas looks surprised. She says she needed the money, and Cook just gave her the drugs, which she then sold to the girl. And she asks him not to tell Emily. Oh, good, there's their drama starting right there. Way to not be contrived.
Thomas is drunk off his ass and goes to visit the pastor's house looking for hot girl, who apparently is named Andrea. Did they ever mention her name before this? If so, I didn't hear it. Whatever. The pastor turns him away and he starts yelling for her before walking away. As he's leaving, she follows him and they proceed to talk in a playground. He says she feels like home, but he loves Pandora and Andrea looks super hurt. WTF? They just met earlier in the episode! How the hell can she "feel like home" already? And why is she so hurt that he loves his girlfriend? They're both idiots in this situation. She kisses him on the cheek and goes home.
Thomas is home, and his mother asks why they ever came here. He says they came for a better life, and she tells him to use the money to do what he has to do. He buys them a house. He then goes to see Pandora, is pissed, understandably. He says they started over once, why can't they again? She says no, and that he doesn't trust her with his thoughts (as if the problem isn't the fact that they go around fucking other people). He says he's in love with her. She knows, but shuts the door in his face anyhow. She goes back in and someone is cooking her poptarts. This makes me want poptarts.
Oh, look, it's Effy. She looks freaking amazing, as usual, and I'm reminded of how much I loved her before the triangle of doom sapped all the life out of her character. She tells Pandora that she was right to say no, and that he needs to think about what he did. Pandora tells Effy that she's happy to have her back. Thomas sits on the couch, looking mopey. His family seems happy with their new house. I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that it will no longer make the kids sick. How novel. Thomas goes to put away groceries, some pretty music plays, and he cries. End of episode.
(sigh) This doesn't look too promising, honestly, but I know I'll watch the whole season anyhow, bitching all the way. It's what I do. I will try to hope that this show will remember what it used to be, and write better storylines, but hey, I'm not an optimist...
all caps credited to ryais
We start out with a random club scene, loud music, dancing, making out, all the usual. Some random girl throws herself to her death on the dance floor. People flip. We see our regular kids there, looking worried. I originally wonder if it was Effy, but when it looks like she's dead, I'm willing to assume it's not. Thomas was running the club that night, so the owner pays him to keep quiet about the fact that they let in underage people, and there are drugs involved. If he doeesn't someone will come and find him and "snap his spine". Very dramatic.
Panda has awesome nail polish. She and Thomas head back to his house, where they are apprehended by his mother. Pandora tells his mother in a VERY awkward scene that they are not going to have sex. His mother then laments the lack of virgins in the UK. Thomas tells his mother about the dead girl, and shows her the money. She slaps him and tells him they don't need it, even though it's pretty obvious that they do. Thomas puts his sick brother, Daniel, to bed, then he and Pandora go back on their word to his mother and have sex.
This fades into a church scene at which Thomas is looking rather bored until he sees this hot girl singing in the choir, at which time he looks a bit happier and starts swaying to the music, which seems to be what his family wants him to do. He keeps staring at the girl until church ends. His family heads out the door, and they are stopped by the pastor who tells Thomas he hasn't seen him around lately. Thomas' mother is quick to inform the pastor that this is because Thomas' friends are evil and his girlfriend is a whore. Then the pastor makes some speech he apparently stole from Star Wars.
Then we see Thomas walking down the hallways at school, and he eventually gets to where our usual kids are sitting around. Cook tries to greet Thomas and bond with him about the girl's death, but Thomas blows him off. Random dude in a very plaid shirt tells Cook to stop smoking, and informs them that he's now the director of this "rubbish" college with all of the "rubbish" kids, and that things are going to change. Seems like a weirdo, which is in keeping with all the teachers/college personnel Skins has ever had. Doug is as awkward as ever and tells the kids that the police want to interview them about the dead girl.
Katie gets called up to talk to the police, and we see Emily and JJ discussing the fact that it's wrong to treat them all like they're criminals. Naomi looks disracted. Cook runs off. Emily asks Freddie if he's heard from Effy. He's weird about it, no surprise there. I've never noticed him with much emotion other than looking awkward and slightly hurt at all times. Easily the worst actor of the second generation. At least he's still cute. JJ tells everyone they shouldn't mention Effy, and that he's happy that she's gone and everyone is happy, which as they pan to show everyone... is obviously complete crap.
Thomas runs off. What is with all of the dramatic storming off in one direction or another? Cook is flushing drugs down the toilet when Thomas comes into the bathroom and lurks behind him. Thomas interrogates Cook about being the one to give the dead girl drugs, and as usual Cook makes some asshat comment to incite, and they start fighting about Panda. It really seems like the only drama the second generation can come up with is who fucked who, and who wants to. But whatever. Freddie breaks them up by saying that the cops called Cook's name.
Pandora finds Thomas in an empty classroom, and he says he's working on school. She says she needs a hug, which he reluctantly gets up and gives her. She tells him they're all skipping next period to go get drunk and looks astonished that he might actually want to work on his education rather than pissing his life away. She tries to feel him up, but he's not having any of that. She looks like someone just killed her puppy. Oh, the horror of your boyfriend not wanting to fuck you in a pretty much open classroom after he had a bad day. I get that they have more problems than that, but I thought her reaction was a bit ridiculous. Alas.
Thomas seems to be searching for something in the hallways, and he comes upon a classroom where the hot girl from church is singing. She looks lovely in pink. She says hi, and so does he. Oh, good, we're obviously going to have relationship drama here. Just what we need more of. Thomas walks his brother and sister to their pastor's house, and apparently the hot girl is his daughter. Oh, lovely. Crazy kids play instruments loudly until the hot girl tells them that Jesus wants them to shut up. They don't like Lady Gaga, and say she can't sing, which is several strikes against all of them right off the bat. Don't mess with Gaga. Hot girl starts singing a church song, and tells Thomas to join in. He does. She's lovely. Seriously, very pretty. I can see why he's infatuated. They sound good together. Pastor finds Thomas in the kitchen and asks Thomas why he never knew his daughter, and Thomas says he doesn't know, but that she's very pretty. We've established how I feel about that. Pastor tells him that he needs to trust the Lord. If I heard correctly, the pastor then asks Thomas to give him his soul, which Thomas seems to find odd. Hot girl yells for him, apparently his brother is having an asthma attack of some sort.
Daniel ends up in the hospital, and Thomas' mom comes in and freaks out at the doctor for implying that Daniel's condition might have something to do with their house being damp. Thomas says it is. The doctor says something about social services, and of course, Thomas' mother flips. She's kind of dramatic. She says that if his father were there, he would beat him, to which Thomas responds that his dad is dead and isn't doing them any good. Very true.
Thomas storms out (surprise, surprise) and hot girl and the pastor are sitting in the hallway. She aks him if everything is alright, and he says nothing is. He runs off and she follows. He's yammering something about the country not making sense, at which time she kisses him. They proceed to screw in a laundry room at the hospital. That was fast. *rolls eyes*
Pandora shows up at Thomas' house. Apparently she brought JJ and some movies. They proceed to awkwardly watch some movies, with JJ between them. Pandora offers Thomas a donut and he says he slept with another girl. She looks hurt, and he says she did it first. Did he not forgive her for that and they "started over"? What the hell was the point of that again? He tells her he wanted to, as if that's supposed to help somehow? She walks out. JJ looks worried.
Thomas lays in bed and apparently has a fantasty about screwing hot girl in the laundry room. Then he's walking around the city at night. Then he's back at school. Ooookay. He seems to peer around a corner and sees Panda being comforted by his "friends". Thomas then gets expelled for having been involved in the girl's death. He then proceeds to drink a ton. Convieniently, Naomi and Cook are there, and Cook, as always, makes an ass out of himself and calls Thomas out on cheating and hurting Pandora. Thomas then knocks him over and they fight again with Naomi yelling at them to stop the whole time. A lot of good that did. Someone finally pulls them apart. Thomas blames Cook for giving the girl the drugs that led to her dying, and Naomi says she did it. Thomas looks surprised. She says she needed the money, and Cook just gave her the drugs, which she then sold to the girl. And she asks him not to tell Emily. Oh, good, there's their drama starting right there. Way to not be contrived.
Thomas is drunk off his ass and goes to visit the pastor's house looking for hot girl, who apparently is named Andrea. Did they ever mention her name before this? If so, I didn't hear it. Whatever. The pastor turns him away and he starts yelling for her before walking away. As he's leaving, she follows him and they proceed to talk in a playground. He says she feels like home, but he loves Pandora and Andrea looks super hurt. WTF? They just met earlier in the episode! How the hell can she "feel like home" already? And why is she so hurt that he loves his girlfriend? They're both idiots in this situation. She kisses him on the cheek and goes home.
Thomas is home, and his mother asks why they ever came here. He says they came for a better life, and she tells him to use the money to do what he has to do. He buys them a house. He then goes to see Pandora, is pissed, understandably. He says they started over once, why can't they again? She says no, and that he doesn't trust her with his thoughts (as if the problem isn't the fact that they go around fucking other people). He says he's in love with her. She knows, but shuts the door in his face anyhow. She goes back in and someone is cooking her poptarts. This makes me want poptarts.
Oh, look, it's Effy. She looks freaking amazing, as usual, and I'm reminded of how much I loved her before the triangle of doom sapped all the life out of her character. She tells Pandora that she was right to say no, and that he needs to think about what he did. Pandora tells Effy that she's happy to have her back. Thomas sits on the couch, looking mopey. His family seems happy with their new house. I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that it will no longer make the kids sick. How novel. Thomas goes to put away groceries, some pretty music plays, and he cries. End of episode.
(sigh) This doesn't look too promising, honestly, but I know I'll watch the whole season anyhow, bitching all the way. It's what I do. I will try to hope that this show will remember what it used to be, and write better storylines, but hey, I'm not an optimist...
all caps credited to ryais