Exploring Sexual Idiosyncrasies To Facilitate Communication
Title: Exploring Sexual Idiosyncrasies To Facilitate Communication
Author: Miss Meh
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Rating: NC-17 for swearing and explicit sex
Warnings: role playing
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 5,691
Status: Complete
Summary: Against his better judgment, Spock has agreed to role play with Jim.
Companion Fic: Talk Me Into Something Kinky
A/N: Okay, so this is a companion fic to my one-shot, “Talk Me Into Something Kinky”. The first story was a kink meme fill for Supernatural’s Dean/Cas in which Dean and Cas role play as Kirk and Spock. This fic is the opposite scenario. Jim and Spock role play as Dean and Cas. You don't need to have read the first story or even really know who Dean and Cas are to understand this one. I hope you guys enjoy it. XD
Thank you to my beta who interrupted me not once, not twice, but three times while I was trying to find Jim’s prostate. Luckily for all of us, Spock ended up finding it first and Delu beta’d right away to make up for it.
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“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun!”
Spock stared at Jim for a moment. “This is entirely illogical, Captain,” he replied. Spock was unsure as to how he had ended up in this predicament. Like most things involving Jim Kirk, both the events that had led up to the present as well as the consequences of said events were proving to be both horrifically illogical as well as exasperatingly fascinating.
“It’s Jim, Spock. We’re talking about our sex life here, not our next diplomatic mission!”
Jim pouted, and Spock was only just able to prevent himself from capitulating immediately. “Captain,” Spock emphasized the word. “As I have explained to you on numerous occasions since the commencement of our physical relationship, the use of your formal title is completely at my discretion. I shall continue to utilize it in any situations for which I have deemed it to be pertinent. In the current instance, I am doing so in order to remind you that you are the Captain of Starfleet’s flagship, and as such, it is inappropriate for you to participate in activities such as sexual role playing.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Spock, what we do in bed has nothing to do with me being Captain.” Something seemed to occur to him and his expression assumed a lascivious quality that Spock had rapidly learned to be wary of. Spock could only be appreciative of the fact that Jim had not chosen to speak with him about this matter in public, as events seemed to culminate in a decidedly uncomfortable manner when the human adopted that particular leer while in the presence of others. “Unless you want to call me Captain while I’m fucking you.” Jim sent him a predatory grin, and Spock swallowed, aware that he was more aroused by the thought of that suggestion than he should be. “I guess I can put off my plans if you have something else in mind, Commander.”
“Negative, Capt-Jim,” Spock hurriedly corrected himself while attempting to retain his composure. “I am not interested in becoming an accessory to any of your sexual deviances,” he said primly. Spock told himself that this was not a lie; after all, were he to, in fact, become party to Jim’s sexual deviances, he would not allow himself to settle for being a mere “accessory”.
“Oh, come on, Spock! It’s not like I asked you to be the filling in a Spock sandwich or something.” Jim looked up at him with those wide, earnest blue eyes, and Spock felt his determination falter. “I just want to do a bit of role playing. You know how much I get into it when we have to dress up on a mission.”
Spock thought about this and found himself on the verge of capitulating once more. He did not find it to be agreeable that Jim had such an effect on him while he did not seem to engender any feeling aside from lust in his human. Spock found himself once again speculating as to how he had ended up in this position. He considered everything that had happened between he and Jim since they had met and was at a loss as to how they had gotten to where they were today.
Oh, Spock could track the linear progression of events most accurately due in equal parts to an eidetic memory and the inability to forget the sheer number of times Jim had managed to elicit an emotional reaction from him. They had started off on their current five year mission with a nebulous mixture of both respect and distrust. Eventually, the respect had overtaken the distrust, which had then almost completely disappeared to be replaced with the last thing Spock had ever expected: friendship.
He knew that his inappropriate regard for his Captain had started with the chess matches. At first, Spock had only agreed to play because the Captain’s incessant requests were pushing him dangerously close to the feeling of irritation. The logical solution had been to simply give Kirk what he wanted, allow the human to spend five minutes attempting to defeat him, and then check mate him, thereby quelling any desires the Captain may have to enter into competition with his Vulcan First Officer. Spock reasoned that humans, by nature, were a species that hated to lose. In many cases, a human would not persist in attempting to overcome an obstacle that was insurmountable. Kirk was human, albeit a strange one, and was therefore susceptible to the same failing.
Unfortunately, Spock had not known Jim very well when he made these assumptions. While he was aware that his Captain did have a habit of behaving extremely irrationally (even for a human), he had considered Kirk’s illogical actions to be extreme reactions to events that had caused even the best Starfleet officers to behave out of character. Spock had thought them to be outliers to the norm rather than indicative of the fact that Jim Kirk was a completely illogical being.
That had been his first mistake.
Not only had the human proceeded to defeat him in their first game, he had also won their fourth and fifth games as well, which had been played, not at Jim’s request, but at Spock’s. For the duration of their game play, his Captain had also managed to provide conversation that had proved to be both insightful as well as relevant to Spock’s interests, and he was surprised to discover that he found the human fascinating.
Chess once a week turned into almost nightly games interspersed with occasional sparring matches and shared meals. They had become… friends.
And then, somehow, that friendship had turned into love. Between their work shifts and the amount of time they had taken to spending together when they were not on the bridge (technically, as First Officer and Captain, they were never actually off duty), Spock supposed that it had been inevitable, especially after he had terminated his relationship with Lieutenant Uhura.
Asking Jim to change the status of their relationship had not been a planned action. Spock had come to regret his uncharacteristic haste in hindsight, for had he taken the time to prepare a strategy for his courtship of Jim, perhaps he would not have neglected to mention the fact that he was in love with him. Instead, he had allowed the accidental meeting of their hands over the chessboard to cloud his mind and, for perhaps the first time in his life, he spoke without first analyzing his words.
“I wish to add a sexual component to our relationship, Captain.”
Surprised, Jim had not responded for an incalculable amount of time (for once, his time keeping skills failed him, as the moment seemed to persist into perpetuity) and Spock attempted to remain calm as he waited. Jim finally looked up grinning and shrugged. “Why not?”
Though it had been the beginning of the most incredibly arousing sexual congress Spock had ever participated in, those two words continued to disturb him months later. Jim was so casual about it that it bordered on complete indifference, but at the same time, he also put new boundaries into place that had not existed before. When they had been friends, Jim had touched him so frequently and with such ease that not only had Spock become accustomed to receiving his Captain’s affection, he had begun to anticipate and welcome it. As soon as the status of their relationship changed, Jim no longer touched him unless they were copulating, and though he would never admit it, Spock missed those innocent, affectionate touches.
To Spock, though, this was not the most significant problem with their current relationship. Jim refused to let Spock meld with him. The Vulcan had tried to initiate a mind meld with his Captain on only one occasion, but the memory of that single rejection was enough to prevent Spock from trying it again. Spock had reached out his hand… and Jim had turned his face away.
Spock could accept a lack of physical affection in public (in fact, all things considered, he preferred it that way), but it did hurt him to know that even when they were engaged in coitus, his lover was holding something back.
They had now been engaging in habitual intercourse for five months, three days, thirteen hours, and twenty-one minutes. Had they both been Vulcan, a marriage bond would have already been established and consummated in both the mental and physical sense of the word. The fact that Spock was, instead, so completely in love with a human who did not seem to reciprocate was… disheartening.
“Fine, if you won’t do it, I’ll just have to ask Bones,” Jim said, drawing Spock out of his admittedly melancholy thoughts. “He could totally pull off that trench coat and-”
“You will do no such thing.” Spock’s words came out more sharply than he had intended them to. While he was aware of the fact that Dr. McCoy was Jim’s best friend and that they had never (according to Jim) engaged in sexual relations, Spock was still unable to completely control the possessive jealousy that threatened to overtake him whenever his human provoked him in this manner.
And provocation was what it was. One look at Jim’s face told Spock that he knew exactly what he was doing.
Jim looked at him slyly. “So does that mean you…” he prompted.
Spock suppressed a sigh and surrendered himself to the force of nature that was Jim Kirk. “Very well. What is it you require of me?”
Jim’s answering grin was… breathtaking. “Great!” Jim exclaimed and shoved a stack of handwritten papers into his hands. “Here, you’ll need this.” Spock looked down at what Jim had handed him. It appeared to be… a script? Spock stared at Jim, barely able to contain his disbelief. The human simply ignored him and went on excitedly, “Okay, so I’m going to be playing Dean, which obviously means you’re Castiel and Bones is Sammy. Now, I know…”
“You have included Dr. McCoy?” Spock asked flatly.
“Yeah,” Jim nodded obliviously. “Someone had to play Sammy and Bones is the closest thing I have to a brother. At least he’s got that whole brooding thing down. I don’t know who else we could have gotten with such short notice.”
Spock flipped through his script, carefully scanning each page as Jim spoke. When he had completed his task, he looked up at Jim in bewilderment. “Jim, the character of “Sammy” does not even appear in this script.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Of course he doesn’t, Spock. We are role playing. To be even more specific, we are sexual role playing. There’s no way I want Bones to see you naked…” Jim ignored Spock’s quite logical assertion that Dr. McCoy had already seen him naked (the human was his doctor) and continued speaking. “…and since it involves pornographic noises and exchanges of bodily fluids in addition to the nudity, I’m pretty sure Bones wouldn’t want to be involved anyway. We can ask him though, if you really want him to be included.”
“That will not be necessary, Jim,” Spock said quickly. “I will do my best to ensure that your script is performed with the utmost accuracy, and as you had not previously included the Doctor, I see no reason to make alterations for such an unnecessary addition.”
“Speaking of the script, what do you think?” Jim asked, grinning smugly. “It’s good, isn’t it?”
Spock looked back down at the pages in his hands and read through them with extreme care this time, instead of merely searching through the document for McCoy’s name. His eyes widened infinitesimally when he realized just what he had agreed to. “I… There are no words that would provide adequate description,” he replied, attempting to utilize the diplomatic skills he had acquired over the years, first in his role as the son of a Vulcan ambassador and then later in the line of duty as First Officer.
“Good” was not even close to the descriptor that Spock would have chosen were he not attempting to be sensitive toward his human’s feelings. The script was acceptably written, but the dialogue Spock would be required to deliver and the actions he would need to perform made the Vulcan part of him declare its objection. Spock quickly silenced the voice of dissent in his head, even more aware in that moment that Jim was the only living person who would ever be able to make him choose his human side over his Vulcan.
Jim grinned at him as though he knew what the Vulcan was thinking, in spite of Spock’s efforts to prevaricate. “So, you wanna do this now? I know I’m ready and raring to go.”
Jim looked down and Spock followed his gaze, noticing that his human had already begun to grow hard at the mere thought of what they were about to do. For the first time since their discussion had commenced, Spock felt a frisson of heated arousal low in his stomach. Perhaps engaging in sexual deviances would not be quite as unpleasant as Spock had imagined it would be.
“I am adequately prepared,” Spock assented, inclining his head. “I shall deliver my first line.”
“Oh, no, no, no,” Jim contradicted, shaking his head. “We can’t just say the lines and then have sex. It doesn’t work like that. We gotta look the part.” Jim walked over to his closet and pulled out a bag. From the bag, he pulled two neatly folded and distinctly separate sets of clothing, one of which he set on the desk. The other was handed to Spock, who took it with trepidation. “Oh, and you have to use this in your hair,” Jim added, passing Spock a tube of what appeared to be something called… “Antigrav Hair Gel”.
Spock stared at the bottle in puzzled silence. “Jim, what is the purpose of this ointment?”
Jim laughed. “It’s hair gel, Spock. It’ll make your hair stand up.” Before Spock could ask Jim to clarify, he continued, “Castiel doesn’t have a bowl cut. His hair’s all unkempt and sexy.” Seeming to realize what he had just implied, he hurried to assure Spock, “Not that the bowl cut isn’t sexy on you, but it totally wouldn’t look right on Cas.”
Spock ignored the rush of gratification he felt when Jim called him “sexy” and considered his options. He could refuse to do as Jim had asked. Spock knew that if he wished to, he could easily sway Jim from this path and divert them to much simpler and less time consuming pursuits. Then he looked at Jim’s face and saw that the smugness his lover had been exuding had faded into a rather shy eagerness. Spock sighed; he could not bear to disappoint Jim when he had that look on his face.
“Very well. I shall depart to my quarters so that we may commence our performance presently.” Turning, he started toward the shared bathroom between their quarters.
Jim’s voice stopped him once more. “Um…” Spock looked back at his Captain and, seeing the sheepish look on the human’s face, knew that he was not going to appreciate whatever Jim was going to say next. “Actually, there is one more teensy weensy little thing I need you to do…”
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A short time later, Spock found himself walking down one of the long Enterprise corridors, fully dressed as Castiel, Angel of the Lord, complete with trench coat and hair gel. He ignored the stares of the crew, aware that his appearance would most likely generate a few months worth of gossip in the ship’s rumor mills. He was unsure as to how Jim had managed to secure his agreement to this request. Spock had barely been able to tolerate the thought of what they were about to do when they were alone in Jim’s quarters, and now, he was flaunting it as he made his way to the ship’s transporter room. It was completely illogical.
In fact, this entire situation puzzled Spock with its irrationality. He had known that Jim was inordinately fond of the twenty-first century television show, Supernatural. His lover had even insisted that Spock watch it with him on occasion and seemed to delight in pointing out the closeness between the main character, Dean, and the angel Castiel. Jim insisted that they were engaging in sexual relations, in spite of the fact that Spock had heard no mention of this in the few episodes he had been convinced to watch.
Despite his lack of interest, Spock knew enough about the character he was supposed to be portraying in order to do so accurately, but while he was well aware that the metaphysical beings from Judeo-Christian mythology in Jim’s favorite television program had the capability to appear and disappear at will, he had not expected Jim to request that he use the transporter to emulate that ability.
Spock finally arrived at the transporter room and breathed an internal sigh of relief. Though it had only taken him 3.5824 minutes to traverse the distance between his quarters and the transporter, for Spock those minutes had seemed to be an exceedingly lengthy period of time.
The door to the room slid open and he entered. Upon seeing the startled face of the ensign manning the controls, Spock gritted his teeth and managed to force out the explanation Jim had ordered him to use, “The Captain has informed me that my ability to blend in on certain away missions is severely lacking. He has ordered me to dress in these clothes and transport to his room so that we may enact a scenario in which I am required to pass as a human until the Captain is satisfied with my performance.”
The ensign did not respond, but seemed to gather her wits enough to stop gaping at him. She nodded her agreement, and Spock relaxed slightly, taking his place on the transporter pad. “Energize.”
Spock felt the familiar tug of the transporter, and a moment later, he was appearing behind Jim in his quarters. “Dean,” he said, attempting to deepen his voice to be more like Castiel.
Jim jumped in a manner that was much more exaggerated than it should have been. “Shit, Cas! Don’t do that!” he exclaimed as he turned toward Spock.
Spock’s eyes widened as he took in Jim’s apparel. He had not seen Jim in such casual dress since their last shore leave, and Spock had found it necessary to hide his reaction to his Captain’s choice of clothing as they had yet to become lovers. At the time, he had not even been sure whether Jim would accept a male lover, let alone the Vulcan who was also his First Officer. Now that they were in a sexual relationship, Spock did more than look; he allowed himself to admire.
Jim was wearing a dark leather jacket and a black, fitted cotton shirt that were very agreeable to behold. However, the most pleasing alteration to Jim’s wardrobe was the pair of tight pants made of blue denim that, to Spock’s eye, appeared to both greatly flatter the human’s posterior as well as emphasize the bulge that was forming at the front. Spock swallowed and quelled the urge to get down on his knees, pull down those pants, and…
“We have need of you, Dean,” Spock growled, forcefully pushing his lust-filled thoughts away. “Lucifer’s supporters are growing in number. We must prevent him from rising.”
“What do you want me to do, Cas?” Jim lashed out angrily, glaring at Spock. “You and your angel pals won’t tell me what the fuck you want from me, and Sammy…” Jim’s eyes took on a wet sheen and he looked away.
“Sam has been consorting with his demon again,” Spock finished. “You are aware that this must not be allowed to continue.”
Jim ran an anxious hand over his hair and then gripped the back of his neck. “You think I don’t know that, Cas? How am I supposed to make him stop? He won’t listen to me. I keep trying to tell him that Ruby’s a bitch and she’s bad news. He keeps going back. I need your help, Cas.” Jim looked at him with large watery eyes.
As Spock watched, a tear slowly slid down Jim’s cheek, and despite the fact that he knew they were merely acting, the sight of his lover, the man he wished to bond with, crying was almost more than Spock could bear. He surged forward, pulling Jim into his arms and fitting their lips together. Even though this had all been written into the script Jim had given him, he now felt a connection to his character that he had not previously experienced. He no longer needed to force himself to comply with the scenario Jim had created.
Spock kissed Jim passionately for several long moments before making himself slow down and allowing his passions to cool into tenderness. He passed his tongue over Jim’s bottom lip before gently biting down and was gratified when his lover gasped and admitted Spock access to explore his mouth. For a prolonged period of time, they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms exchanging unhurried and exceptionally deep kisses, but Spock knew that there was more to be said before they could proceed with coitus.
He reluctantly pulled his lips away from Jim’s, deliberately paying no heed to his lover’s moan of protest. “Dean.” He murmured the word softly and waited for Jim’s eyes to open before he continued. “I will always be available to aid you if you have need of me.” Spock carefully removed Jim’s jacket and shirt, keeping eye contact throughout the process. Then he reached out with his right hand and fitted it over the extremely realistic-looking hand print scar on Jim’s left shoulder. Jim gasped, and Spock delivered his final line, wishing with all of his heart that he would someday be able to say this to Jim again as himself. “You will never be alone,” he whispered, seeing Jim’s blue eyes widen at the sincerity in his voice. “For we share a profound bond.”
Jim was the first to move and Spock once more lost himself in kissing his lover. And then, Jim was pushing them back until Spock’s legs hit the bed, and they both tumbled onto it. Spock hurriedly removed his clothes-first the overly large trench coat, followed by the suit that had been beneath it-scarcely able to contain his sheer need for Jim. His human appeared to be thinking along the same lines, as he quickly discarded his pants.
Soon they were once again tangled together on the bed, both of them naked and over-heated as they tried to get as close to each other as possible. Spock rolled them, putting Jim underneath him, and reached between their bodies to grasp their erections firmly in one hand. Jim exhaled sharply, and his hips jerked, pushing his cock up into Spock’s hand. Encouraged by both Jim’s response and the building ecstasy caused by having both his penis and his hand stimulated so thoroughly at the same time, Spock set a punishing rhythm that had both of them at the edge in a very short amount of time.
Then, Jim was pushing at his chest. “Stop, stop,” he insisted. Spock halted his actions immediately, concerned that he had hurt Jim, but his lover did not appear to be in pain. “Was gonna come,” Jim panted. He rearranged their positions so that he had enough room to hook a hand in the bend of each knee and spread himself open for Spock. Jim looked up at Spock, his expression open and completely vulnerable. “Want you inside me. Please.”
For a moment, Spock considered the strangeness of the current situation. It saddened him that Jim was still able feel vulnerable around him in spite of the fact that they had been having sexual intercourse for the past five months. What they were currently doing did not feel like mere sexual intercourse though; it felt like “making love”, as the humans called it, and that, Spock supposed, was what made Jim feel weak and defenseless. Their previous times together had been many things, but they had never been tender. Spock had put his utmost effort into keeping his emotions away from their previous physical exertions, but it did not appear as though that would be necessary this time.
Spock looked down at Jim’s exposed hole and saw that it was already wet and glistening. Jim had apparently taken the time to prepare himself while Spock had been absent, and Spock was grateful for this. He was quite sure that had he been forced to prepare Jim for penetration-to feel Jim’s warm, tight hole clenching down around his sensitive fingers-he would have been unable to keep himself from ejaculating. He scooped up some of the excess lubrication that had begun to drip out of Jim and coated himself before moving forward to press the head of his penis to his lover’s entrance.
Spock entered Jim more slowly than he ever had before, savoring every gasp, every whimper that escaped his lover’s lips. Once he was fully encased in Jim’s warm, willing body, Spock stopped, leaned forward, and pressed his lips lovingly to Jim’s. A few tears welled up in the human’s eyes, eventually spilling over and rolling down his cheeks, and Spock kissed those too, trailing his lips over his Jim’s face until all of the moisture was gone. With one more light kiss to his lover’s temple, Spock pulled back and started moving.
The rhythm was slow and easy, more of a rolling motion than their usual hard thrusting. Jim was panting harder now, his hands moving away from his own legs to clutch at Spock’s shoulders, but he wasn’t making an obscene amount of noise as he usually did when they were copulating. It appeared as though Spock would need to rectify this matter.
He shifted the angle of his hips slightly as he pulled out of Jim’s body and then snapped his hips forward sharply to ensure that he hit the spot he was looking for. Jim’s eyes went wide, and he cried out loudly. Knowing that he had found the human’s prostate, Spock started moving his hips faster, making sure that he touched that spot on every thrust. Jim wrapped his arms and legs tightly around the Vulcan, burying his face in the span of skin between Spock’s neck and shoulder and allowing his lover to do all of the work. Spock was touched by what he considered to be an extraordinary show of trust. Jim was typically very active in bed, demanding pleasure rather than simply letting Spock give it. This unusual allowance pushed him just that much closer to the edge and, unwilling to permit himself to come before his lover, Spock put all of his effort into making sure that Jim was there as well.
A moment later, Jim moaned and his whole body seemed to tighten around Spock as he came, spurting between them onto their stomachs. The constriction of Jim’s inner muscles around Spock’s penis shot jolts of white hot pleasure through him, and he pumped his hips into Jim one more time before he finally erupted inside of his human.
They lay there panting for an incalculable amount of time, simply enjoying the feeling of being close to one another, before Spock mind regained awareness enough to remind him that he was still lying on top of Jim. Conscious of the fact that he must be crushing Jim considering his body’s higher density, Spock carefully pulled himself out of Jim and rolled them over so that the human was sprawled across his chest. Jim huffed out a breath of sleepy contentment and began tracing invisible patterns on the skin over Spock’s collarbone.
“Thank you, Spock.” Jim’s voice was soft and happy. He looked up, meeting Spock’s eyes and giving him a small smile. “That was… intense and amazing. I loved it.” Jim settled his head back down on Spock’s chest and sighed. “Kinda makes me wish all of that bonding shit was real. It’s so fucking romantic. I mean, what could be better than sharing your whole soul with someone?” He laughed. “Besides, I’m sure bonded sex would be beyond hot. Hell, I just came and the thought still makes me horny.”
Spock froze. Was Jim actually implying that he was amenable to being bonded with another, perhaps with Spock? How was it possible that he had not realized that Jim would be open to such a thing? “You would be comfortable sharing your mind with another?”
Jim shrugged and nuzzled the underside of Spock’s chin with his nose. “As long as it was someone I loved, sure.” Spock felt lips touch the side of his neck in an affectionate kiss.
Spock contemplated Jim’s words and actions for a moment before suppressing all of the un-Vulcan nervousness that might was currently present within him and asking, “You would be comfortable sharing your mind with me?”
Jim lifted his head and grinned at him, ecstatic. “I thought you’d never ask,” he replied, leaning forward to kiss Spock on the lips.
Spock longed to continue lying there kissing his Jim, but forced himself to draw back before it turned into something more. It was necessary that they talk about this before engaging in any more sexual acts.
A thought suddenly occurred to him, taking up residence in his mind and refusing to relinquish its hold, no matter that he told himself that it was illogical. “Jim, did you plan for this to happen?”
Jim looked equal measures proud and guilty, which told Spock all he needed to know. “You mean, did I talk you into role playing a bonded couple just so I would have the guts to bring up actually bonding with you in such a way that I could easily put all of it off if you didn’t feel the same way? C’mon, Spock, would I do that to you?”
Spock ignored the question. “Jim, I was unaware that you felt anything more for me than lust. Had I known, I would have approached you about bonding much sooner. Why did you not inform me of this fact? You should have told me immediately.”
Jim scoffed and his expression turned defensive. “What, you mean I should have told you that I had fallen in love with you while you were still dating Uhura?” Jim snorted. “Yeah, can you think of an easier way for me to have gotten my heart broken? You don’t know how hard it’s been to stay quiet about it for so long, Spock.” He shook his head and looked at Spock with sad eyes. “I’ve had to force myself not to touch you when we aren’t having sex and not to beg you for a mind meld when we are, because I knew for sure that if I allowed myself either of those things, I would slip up and you would figure it all out.” Jim closed his eyes as though in pain. “I love you so much it fucking hurts sometimes. I didn’t know what I would do if I told you, and you didn’t feel the same. You do, don’t you?” he asked quickly. “Feel the same, I mean.”
Spock took Jim’s hand in his own and stroked it with two fingers. “Jim, ashaya, I love you with all that I am,” he confessed, knowing that Jim needed to hear it out loud and staunchly refusing to be ashamed of himself for admitting to his feelings. “And I would be honored if you would consent to bond with me.”
Jim launched himself at Spock, laughing even as he tried to kiss him. For several minutes, Spock lost himself in the feeling of kissing and being kissed, loving and being loved by Jim. His human seemed to find something funny though, as he finally broke their connection and started laughing, once again burying his face in the side of Spock’s neck. Then, he pulled back again, a beautiful smile still on his face.
“Does this mean we can go public now?” Jim asked.
Spock lifted an eyebrow. “Affirmative,” he consented. When Jim began to laugh once more, Spock added, “I do not understand why you find this to be so humorous.”
Jim grinned gleefully. “Can you imagine the look on Bones’ face when he finds out that not only are we getting married, but we also used him in one of our kinky sex games?”
The corner of Spock’s mouth twitched, and his eyes warmed in amusement. “I am sure that I will not wish to miss seeing it,” Spock agreed.
Jim looked down at Spock, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Speaking of kinky sex, is it true what they say about Vulcans and mind meld sex?” He rubbed his rapidly hardening erection against Spock’s thigh. “I think I could get into that.”
Spock did not answer. With Jim, it was always better to show than tell, so he simply rolled them over and began round two.
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A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed! Please review and let me know what you think. :)
Author: Miss Meh
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Rating: NC-17 for swearing and explicit sex
Warnings: role playing
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 5,691
Status: Complete
Summary: Against his better judgment, Spock has agreed to role play with Jim.
Companion Fic: Talk Me Into Something Kinky
A/N: Okay, so this is a companion fic to my one-shot, “Talk Me Into Something Kinky”. The first story was a kink meme fill for Supernatural’s Dean/Cas in which Dean and Cas role play as Kirk and Spock. This fic is the opposite scenario. Jim and Spock role play as Dean and Cas. You don't need to have read the first story or even really know who Dean and Cas are to understand this one. I hope you guys enjoy it. XD
Thank you to my beta who interrupted me not once, not twice, but three times while I was trying to find Jim’s prostate. Luckily for all of us, Spock ended up finding it first and Delu beta’d right away to make up for it.
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“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun!”
Spock stared at Jim for a moment. “This is entirely illogical, Captain,” he replied. Spock was unsure as to how he had ended up in this predicament. Like most things involving Jim Kirk, both the events that had led up to the present as well as the consequences of said events were proving to be both horrifically illogical as well as exasperatingly fascinating.
“It’s Jim, Spock. We’re talking about our sex life here, not our next diplomatic mission!”
Jim pouted, and Spock was only just able to prevent himself from capitulating immediately. “Captain,” Spock emphasized the word. “As I have explained to you on numerous occasions since the commencement of our physical relationship, the use of your formal title is completely at my discretion. I shall continue to utilize it in any situations for which I have deemed it to be pertinent. In the current instance, I am doing so in order to remind you that you are the Captain of Starfleet’s flagship, and as such, it is inappropriate for you to participate in activities such as sexual role playing.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Spock, what we do in bed has nothing to do with me being Captain.” Something seemed to occur to him and his expression assumed a lascivious quality that Spock had rapidly learned to be wary of. Spock could only be appreciative of the fact that Jim had not chosen to speak with him about this matter in public, as events seemed to culminate in a decidedly uncomfortable manner when the human adopted that particular leer while in the presence of others. “Unless you want to call me Captain while I’m fucking you.” Jim sent him a predatory grin, and Spock swallowed, aware that he was more aroused by the thought of that suggestion than he should be. “I guess I can put off my plans if you have something else in mind, Commander.”
“Negative, Capt-Jim,” Spock hurriedly corrected himself while attempting to retain his composure. “I am not interested in becoming an accessory to any of your sexual deviances,” he said primly. Spock told himself that this was not a lie; after all, were he to, in fact, become party to Jim’s sexual deviances, he would not allow himself to settle for being a mere “accessory”.
“Oh, come on, Spock! It’s not like I asked you to be the filling in a Spock sandwich or something.” Jim looked up at him with those wide, earnest blue eyes, and Spock felt his determination falter. “I just want to do a bit of role playing. You know how much I get into it when we have to dress up on a mission.”
Spock thought about this and found himself on the verge of capitulating once more. He did not find it to be agreeable that Jim had such an effect on him while he did not seem to engender any feeling aside from lust in his human. Spock found himself once again speculating as to how he had ended up in this position. He considered everything that had happened between he and Jim since they had met and was at a loss as to how they had gotten to where they were today.
Oh, Spock could track the linear progression of events most accurately due in equal parts to an eidetic memory and the inability to forget the sheer number of times Jim had managed to elicit an emotional reaction from him. They had started off on their current five year mission with a nebulous mixture of both respect and distrust. Eventually, the respect had overtaken the distrust, which had then almost completely disappeared to be replaced with the last thing Spock had ever expected: friendship.
He knew that his inappropriate regard for his Captain had started with the chess matches. At first, Spock had only agreed to play because the Captain’s incessant requests were pushing him dangerously close to the feeling of irritation. The logical solution had been to simply give Kirk what he wanted, allow the human to spend five minutes attempting to defeat him, and then check mate him, thereby quelling any desires the Captain may have to enter into competition with his Vulcan First Officer. Spock reasoned that humans, by nature, were a species that hated to lose. In many cases, a human would not persist in attempting to overcome an obstacle that was insurmountable. Kirk was human, albeit a strange one, and was therefore susceptible to the same failing.
Unfortunately, Spock had not known Jim very well when he made these assumptions. While he was aware that his Captain did have a habit of behaving extremely irrationally (even for a human), he had considered Kirk’s illogical actions to be extreme reactions to events that had caused even the best Starfleet officers to behave out of character. Spock had thought them to be outliers to the norm rather than indicative of the fact that Jim Kirk was a completely illogical being.
That had been his first mistake.
Not only had the human proceeded to defeat him in their first game, he had also won their fourth and fifth games as well, which had been played, not at Jim’s request, but at Spock’s. For the duration of their game play, his Captain had also managed to provide conversation that had proved to be both insightful as well as relevant to Spock’s interests, and he was surprised to discover that he found the human fascinating.
Chess once a week turned into almost nightly games interspersed with occasional sparring matches and shared meals. They had become… friends.
And then, somehow, that friendship had turned into love. Between their work shifts and the amount of time they had taken to spending together when they were not on the bridge (technically, as First Officer and Captain, they were never actually off duty), Spock supposed that it had been inevitable, especially after he had terminated his relationship with Lieutenant Uhura.
Asking Jim to change the status of their relationship had not been a planned action. Spock had come to regret his uncharacteristic haste in hindsight, for had he taken the time to prepare a strategy for his courtship of Jim, perhaps he would not have neglected to mention the fact that he was in love with him. Instead, he had allowed the accidental meeting of their hands over the chessboard to cloud his mind and, for perhaps the first time in his life, he spoke without first analyzing his words.
“I wish to add a sexual component to our relationship, Captain.”
Surprised, Jim had not responded for an incalculable amount of time (for once, his time keeping skills failed him, as the moment seemed to persist into perpetuity) and Spock attempted to remain calm as he waited. Jim finally looked up grinning and shrugged. “Why not?”
Though it had been the beginning of the most incredibly arousing sexual congress Spock had ever participated in, those two words continued to disturb him months later. Jim was so casual about it that it bordered on complete indifference, but at the same time, he also put new boundaries into place that had not existed before. When they had been friends, Jim had touched him so frequently and with such ease that not only had Spock become accustomed to receiving his Captain’s affection, he had begun to anticipate and welcome it. As soon as the status of their relationship changed, Jim no longer touched him unless they were copulating, and though he would never admit it, Spock missed those innocent, affectionate touches.
To Spock, though, this was not the most significant problem with their current relationship. Jim refused to let Spock meld with him. The Vulcan had tried to initiate a mind meld with his Captain on only one occasion, but the memory of that single rejection was enough to prevent Spock from trying it again. Spock had reached out his hand… and Jim had turned his face away.
Spock could accept a lack of physical affection in public (in fact, all things considered, he preferred it that way), but it did hurt him to know that even when they were engaged in coitus, his lover was holding something back.
They had now been engaging in habitual intercourse for five months, three days, thirteen hours, and twenty-one minutes. Had they both been Vulcan, a marriage bond would have already been established and consummated in both the mental and physical sense of the word. The fact that Spock was, instead, so completely in love with a human who did not seem to reciprocate was… disheartening.
“Fine, if you won’t do it, I’ll just have to ask Bones,” Jim said, drawing Spock out of his admittedly melancholy thoughts. “He could totally pull off that trench coat and-”
“You will do no such thing.” Spock’s words came out more sharply than he had intended them to. While he was aware of the fact that Dr. McCoy was Jim’s best friend and that they had never (according to Jim) engaged in sexual relations, Spock was still unable to completely control the possessive jealousy that threatened to overtake him whenever his human provoked him in this manner.
And provocation was what it was. One look at Jim’s face told Spock that he knew exactly what he was doing.
Jim looked at him slyly. “So does that mean you…” he prompted.
Spock suppressed a sigh and surrendered himself to the force of nature that was Jim Kirk. “Very well. What is it you require of me?”
Jim’s answering grin was… breathtaking. “Great!” Jim exclaimed and shoved a stack of handwritten papers into his hands. “Here, you’ll need this.” Spock looked down at what Jim had handed him. It appeared to be… a script? Spock stared at Jim, barely able to contain his disbelief. The human simply ignored him and went on excitedly, “Okay, so I’m going to be playing Dean, which obviously means you’re Castiel and Bones is Sammy. Now, I know…”
“You have included Dr. McCoy?” Spock asked flatly.
“Yeah,” Jim nodded obliviously. “Someone had to play Sammy and Bones is the closest thing I have to a brother. At least he’s got that whole brooding thing down. I don’t know who else we could have gotten with such short notice.”
Spock flipped through his script, carefully scanning each page as Jim spoke. When he had completed his task, he looked up at Jim in bewilderment. “Jim, the character of “Sammy” does not even appear in this script.”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Of course he doesn’t, Spock. We are role playing. To be even more specific, we are sexual role playing. There’s no way I want Bones to see you naked…” Jim ignored Spock’s quite logical assertion that Dr. McCoy had already seen him naked (the human was his doctor) and continued speaking. “…and since it involves pornographic noises and exchanges of bodily fluids in addition to the nudity, I’m pretty sure Bones wouldn’t want to be involved anyway. We can ask him though, if you really want him to be included.”
“That will not be necessary, Jim,” Spock said quickly. “I will do my best to ensure that your script is performed with the utmost accuracy, and as you had not previously included the Doctor, I see no reason to make alterations for such an unnecessary addition.”
“Speaking of the script, what do you think?” Jim asked, grinning smugly. “It’s good, isn’t it?”
Spock looked back down at the pages in his hands and read through them with extreme care this time, instead of merely searching through the document for McCoy’s name. His eyes widened infinitesimally when he realized just what he had agreed to. “I… There are no words that would provide adequate description,” he replied, attempting to utilize the diplomatic skills he had acquired over the years, first in his role as the son of a Vulcan ambassador and then later in the line of duty as First Officer.
“Good” was not even close to the descriptor that Spock would have chosen were he not attempting to be sensitive toward his human’s feelings. The script was acceptably written, but the dialogue Spock would be required to deliver and the actions he would need to perform made the Vulcan part of him declare its objection. Spock quickly silenced the voice of dissent in his head, even more aware in that moment that Jim was the only living person who would ever be able to make him choose his human side over his Vulcan.
Jim grinned at him as though he knew what the Vulcan was thinking, in spite of Spock’s efforts to prevaricate. “So, you wanna do this now? I know I’m ready and raring to go.”
Jim looked down and Spock followed his gaze, noticing that his human had already begun to grow hard at the mere thought of what they were about to do. For the first time since their discussion had commenced, Spock felt a frisson of heated arousal low in his stomach. Perhaps engaging in sexual deviances would not be quite as unpleasant as Spock had imagined it would be.
“I am adequately prepared,” Spock assented, inclining his head. “I shall deliver my first line.”
“Oh, no, no, no,” Jim contradicted, shaking his head. “We can’t just say the lines and then have sex. It doesn’t work like that. We gotta look the part.” Jim walked over to his closet and pulled out a bag. From the bag, he pulled two neatly folded and distinctly separate sets of clothing, one of which he set on the desk. The other was handed to Spock, who took it with trepidation. “Oh, and you have to use this in your hair,” Jim added, passing Spock a tube of what appeared to be something called… “Antigrav Hair Gel”.
Spock stared at the bottle in puzzled silence. “Jim, what is the purpose of this ointment?”
Jim laughed. “It’s hair gel, Spock. It’ll make your hair stand up.” Before Spock could ask Jim to clarify, he continued, “Castiel doesn’t have a bowl cut. His hair’s all unkempt and sexy.” Seeming to realize what he had just implied, he hurried to assure Spock, “Not that the bowl cut isn’t sexy on you, but it totally wouldn’t look right on Cas.”
Spock ignored the rush of gratification he felt when Jim called him “sexy” and considered his options. He could refuse to do as Jim had asked. Spock knew that if he wished to, he could easily sway Jim from this path and divert them to much simpler and less time consuming pursuits. Then he looked at Jim’s face and saw that the smugness his lover had been exuding had faded into a rather shy eagerness. Spock sighed; he could not bear to disappoint Jim when he had that look on his face.
“Very well. I shall depart to my quarters so that we may commence our performance presently.” Turning, he started toward the shared bathroom between their quarters.
Jim’s voice stopped him once more. “Um…” Spock looked back at his Captain and, seeing the sheepish look on the human’s face, knew that he was not going to appreciate whatever Jim was going to say next. “Actually, there is one more teensy weensy little thing I need you to do…”
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A short time later, Spock found himself walking down one of the long Enterprise corridors, fully dressed as Castiel, Angel of the Lord, complete with trench coat and hair gel. He ignored the stares of the crew, aware that his appearance would most likely generate a few months worth of gossip in the ship’s rumor mills. He was unsure as to how Jim had managed to secure his agreement to this request. Spock had barely been able to tolerate the thought of what they were about to do when they were alone in Jim’s quarters, and now, he was flaunting it as he made his way to the ship’s transporter room. It was completely illogical.
In fact, this entire situation puzzled Spock with its irrationality. He had known that Jim was inordinately fond of the twenty-first century television show, Supernatural. His lover had even insisted that Spock watch it with him on occasion and seemed to delight in pointing out the closeness between the main character, Dean, and the angel Castiel. Jim insisted that they were engaging in sexual relations, in spite of the fact that Spock had heard no mention of this in the few episodes he had been convinced to watch.
Despite his lack of interest, Spock knew enough about the character he was supposed to be portraying in order to do so accurately, but while he was well aware that the metaphysical beings from Judeo-Christian mythology in Jim’s favorite television program had the capability to appear and disappear at will, he had not expected Jim to request that he use the transporter to emulate that ability.
Spock finally arrived at the transporter room and breathed an internal sigh of relief. Though it had only taken him 3.5824 minutes to traverse the distance between his quarters and the transporter, for Spock those minutes had seemed to be an exceedingly lengthy period of time.
The door to the room slid open and he entered. Upon seeing the startled face of the ensign manning the controls, Spock gritted his teeth and managed to force out the explanation Jim had ordered him to use, “The Captain has informed me that my ability to blend in on certain away missions is severely lacking. He has ordered me to dress in these clothes and transport to his room so that we may enact a scenario in which I am required to pass as a human until the Captain is satisfied with my performance.”
The ensign did not respond, but seemed to gather her wits enough to stop gaping at him. She nodded her agreement, and Spock relaxed slightly, taking his place on the transporter pad. “Energize.”
Spock felt the familiar tug of the transporter, and a moment later, he was appearing behind Jim in his quarters. “Dean,” he said, attempting to deepen his voice to be more like Castiel.
Jim jumped in a manner that was much more exaggerated than it should have been. “Shit, Cas! Don’t do that!” he exclaimed as he turned toward Spock.
Spock’s eyes widened as he took in Jim’s apparel. He had not seen Jim in such casual dress since their last shore leave, and Spock had found it necessary to hide his reaction to his Captain’s choice of clothing as they had yet to become lovers. At the time, he had not even been sure whether Jim would accept a male lover, let alone the Vulcan who was also his First Officer. Now that they were in a sexual relationship, Spock did more than look; he allowed himself to admire.
Jim was wearing a dark leather jacket and a black, fitted cotton shirt that were very agreeable to behold. However, the most pleasing alteration to Jim’s wardrobe was the pair of tight pants made of blue denim that, to Spock’s eye, appeared to both greatly flatter the human’s posterior as well as emphasize the bulge that was forming at the front. Spock swallowed and quelled the urge to get down on his knees, pull down those pants, and…
“We have need of you, Dean,” Spock growled, forcefully pushing his lust-filled thoughts away. “Lucifer’s supporters are growing in number. We must prevent him from rising.”
“What do you want me to do, Cas?” Jim lashed out angrily, glaring at Spock. “You and your angel pals won’t tell me what the fuck you want from me, and Sammy…” Jim’s eyes took on a wet sheen and he looked away.
“Sam has been consorting with his demon again,” Spock finished. “You are aware that this must not be allowed to continue.”
Jim ran an anxious hand over his hair and then gripped the back of his neck. “You think I don’t know that, Cas? How am I supposed to make him stop? He won’t listen to me. I keep trying to tell him that Ruby’s a bitch and she’s bad news. He keeps going back. I need your help, Cas.” Jim looked at him with large watery eyes.
As Spock watched, a tear slowly slid down Jim’s cheek, and despite the fact that he knew they were merely acting, the sight of his lover, the man he wished to bond with, crying was almost more than Spock could bear. He surged forward, pulling Jim into his arms and fitting their lips together. Even though this had all been written into the script Jim had given him, he now felt a connection to his character that he had not previously experienced. He no longer needed to force himself to comply with the scenario Jim had created.
Spock kissed Jim passionately for several long moments before making himself slow down and allowing his passions to cool into tenderness. He passed his tongue over Jim’s bottom lip before gently biting down and was gratified when his lover gasped and admitted Spock access to explore his mouth. For a prolonged period of time, they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms exchanging unhurried and exceptionally deep kisses, but Spock knew that there was more to be said before they could proceed with coitus.
He reluctantly pulled his lips away from Jim’s, deliberately paying no heed to his lover’s moan of protest. “Dean.” He murmured the word softly and waited for Jim’s eyes to open before he continued. “I will always be available to aid you if you have need of me.” Spock carefully removed Jim’s jacket and shirt, keeping eye contact throughout the process. Then he reached out with his right hand and fitted it over the extremely realistic-looking hand print scar on Jim’s left shoulder. Jim gasped, and Spock delivered his final line, wishing with all of his heart that he would someday be able to say this to Jim again as himself. “You will never be alone,” he whispered, seeing Jim’s blue eyes widen at the sincerity in his voice. “For we share a profound bond.”
Jim was the first to move and Spock once more lost himself in kissing his lover. And then, Jim was pushing them back until Spock’s legs hit the bed, and they both tumbled onto it. Spock hurriedly removed his clothes-first the overly large trench coat, followed by the suit that had been beneath it-scarcely able to contain his sheer need for Jim. His human appeared to be thinking along the same lines, as he quickly discarded his pants.
Soon they were once again tangled together on the bed, both of them naked and over-heated as they tried to get as close to each other as possible. Spock rolled them, putting Jim underneath him, and reached between their bodies to grasp their erections firmly in one hand. Jim exhaled sharply, and his hips jerked, pushing his cock up into Spock’s hand. Encouraged by both Jim’s response and the building ecstasy caused by having both his penis and his hand stimulated so thoroughly at the same time, Spock set a punishing rhythm that had both of them at the edge in a very short amount of time.
Then, Jim was pushing at his chest. “Stop, stop,” he insisted. Spock halted his actions immediately, concerned that he had hurt Jim, but his lover did not appear to be in pain. “Was gonna come,” Jim panted. He rearranged their positions so that he had enough room to hook a hand in the bend of each knee and spread himself open for Spock. Jim looked up at Spock, his expression open and completely vulnerable. “Want you inside me. Please.”
For a moment, Spock considered the strangeness of the current situation. It saddened him that Jim was still able feel vulnerable around him in spite of the fact that they had been having sexual intercourse for the past five months. What they were currently doing did not feel like mere sexual intercourse though; it felt like “making love”, as the humans called it, and that, Spock supposed, was what made Jim feel weak and defenseless. Their previous times together had been many things, but they had never been tender. Spock had put his utmost effort into keeping his emotions away from their previous physical exertions, but it did not appear as though that would be necessary this time.
Spock looked down at Jim’s exposed hole and saw that it was already wet and glistening. Jim had apparently taken the time to prepare himself while Spock had been absent, and Spock was grateful for this. He was quite sure that had he been forced to prepare Jim for penetration-to feel Jim’s warm, tight hole clenching down around his sensitive fingers-he would have been unable to keep himself from ejaculating. He scooped up some of the excess lubrication that had begun to drip out of Jim and coated himself before moving forward to press the head of his penis to his lover’s entrance.
Spock entered Jim more slowly than he ever had before, savoring every gasp, every whimper that escaped his lover’s lips. Once he was fully encased in Jim’s warm, willing body, Spock stopped, leaned forward, and pressed his lips lovingly to Jim’s. A few tears welled up in the human’s eyes, eventually spilling over and rolling down his cheeks, and Spock kissed those too, trailing his lips over his Jim’s face until all of the moisture was gone. With one more light kiss to his lover’s temple, Spock pulled back and started moving.
The rhythm was slow and easy, more of a rolling motion than their usual hard thrusting. Jim was panting harder now, his hands moving away from his own legs to clutch at Spock’s shoulders, but he wasn’t making an obscene amount of noise as he usually did when they were copulating. It appeared as though Spock would need to rectify this matter.
He shifted the angle of his hips slightly as he pulled out of Jim’s body and then snapped his hips forward sharply to ensure that he hit the spot he was looking for. Jim’s eyes went wide, and he cried out loudly. Knowing that he had found the human’s prostate, Spock started moving his hips faster, making sure that he touched that spot on every thrust. Jim wrapped his arms and legs tightly around the Vulcan, burying his face in the span of skin between Spock’s neck and shoulder and allowing his lover to do all of the work. Spock was touched by what he considered to be an extraordinary show of trust. Jim was typically very active in bed, demanding pleasure rather than simply letting Spock give it. This unusual allowance pushed him just that much closer to the edge and, unwilling to permit himself to come before his lover, Spock put all of his effort into making sure that Jim was there as well.
A moment later, Jim moaned and his whole body seemed to tighten around Spock as he came, spurting between them onto their stomachs. The constriction of Jim’s inner muscles around Spock’s penis shot jolts of white hot pleasure through him, and he pumped his hips into Jim one more time before he finally erupted inside of his human.
They lay there panting for an incalculable amount of time, simply enjoying the feeling of being close to one another, before Spock mind regained awareness enough to remind him that he was still lying on top of Jim. Conscious of the fact that he must be crushing Jim considering his body’s higher density, Spock carefully pulled himself out of Jim and rolled them over so that the human was sprawled across his chest. Jim huffed out a breath of sleepy contentment and began tracing invisible patterns on the skin over Spock’s collarbone.
“Thank you, Spock.” Jim’s voice was soft and happy. He looked up, meeting Spock’s eyes and giving him a small smile. “That was… intense and amazing. I loved it.” Jim settled his head back down on Spock’s chest and sighed. “Kinda makes me wish all of that bonding shit was real. It’s so fucking romantic. I mean, what could be better than sharing your whole soul with someone?” He laughed. “Besides, I’m sure bonded sex would be beyond hot. Hell, I just came and the thought still makes me horny.”
Spock froze. Was Jim actually implying that he was amenable to being bonded with another, perhaps with Spock? How was it possible that he had not realized that Jim would be open to such a thing? “You would be comfortable sharing your mind with another?”
Jim shrugged and nuzzled the underside of Spock’s chin with his nose. “As long as it was someone I loved, sure.” Spock felt lips touch the side of his neck in an affectionate kiss.
Spock contemplated Jim’s words and actions for a moment before suppressing all of the un-Vulcan nervousness that might was currently present within him and asking, “You would be comfortable sharing your mind with me?”
Jim lifted his head and grinned at him, ecstatic. “I thought you’d never ask,” he replied, leaning forward to kiss Spock on the lips.
Spock longed to continue lying there kissing his Jim, but forced himself to draw back before it turned into something more. It was necessary that they talk about this before engaging in any more sexual acts.
A thought suddenly occurred to him, taking up residence in his mind and refusing to relinquish its hold, no matter that he told himself that it was illogical. “Jim, did you plan for this to happen?”
Jim looked equal measures proud and guilty, which told Spock all he needed to know. “You mean, did I talk you into role playing a bonded couple just so I would have the guts to bring up actually bonding with you in such a way that I could easily put all of it off if you didn’t feel the same way? C’mon, Spock, would I do that to you?”
Spock ignored the question. “Jim, I was unaware that you felt anything more for me than lust. Had I known, I would have approached you about bonding much sooner. Why did you not inform me of this fact? You should have told me immediately.”
Jim scoffed and his expression turned defensive. “What, you mean I should have told you that I had fallen in love with you while you were still dating Uhura?” Jim snorted. “Yeah, can you think of an easier way for me to have gotten my heart broken? You don’t know how hard it’s been to stay quiet about it for so long, Spock.” He shook his head and looked at Spock with sad eyes. “I’ve had to force myself not to touch you when we aren’t having sex and not to beg you for a mind meld when we are, because I knew for sure that if I allowed myself either of those things, I would slip up and you would figure it all out.” Jim closed his eyes as though in pain. “I love you so much it fucking hurts sometimes. I didn’t know what I would do if I told you, and you didn’t feel the same. You do, don’t you?” he asked quickly. “Feel the same, I mean.”
Spock took Jim’s hand in his own and stroked it with two fingers. “Jim, ashaya, I love you with all that I am,” he confessed, knowing that Jim needed to hear it out loud and staunchly refusing to be ashamed of himself for admitting to his feelings. “And I would be honored if you would consent to bond with me.”
Jim launched himself at Spock, laughing even as he tried to kiss him. For several minutes, Spock lost himself in the feeling of kissing and being kissed, loving and being loved by Jim. His human seemed to find something funny though, as he finally broke their connection and started laughing, once again burying his face in the side of Spock’s neck. Then, he pulled back again, a beautiful smile still on his face.
“Does this mean we can go public now?” Jim asked.
Spock lifted an eyebrow. “Affirmative,” he consented. When Jim began to laugh once more, Spock added, “I do not understand why you find this to be so humorous.”
Jim grinned gleefully. “Can you imagine the look on Bones’ face when he finds out that not only are we getting married, but we also used him in one of our kinky sex games?”
The corner of Spock’s mouth twitched, and his eyes warmed in amusement. “I am sure that I will not wish to miss seeing it,” Spock agreed.
Jim looked down at Spock, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Speaking of kinky sex, is it true what they say about Vulcans and mind meld sex?” He rubbed his rapidly hardening erection against Spock’s thigh. “I think I could get into that.”
Spock did not answer. With Jim, it was always better to show than tell, so he simply rolled them over and began round two.
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A/N: I hope everyone enjoyed! Please review and let me know what you think. :)