Looking For Shooting Stars Chapter Twelve
Title: Looking For Shooting Stars
Author: Miss Meh
Universe/Series: Star Trek XI
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kirk/Spock, Amanda/Sarek
Warnings: AU, language, angst, h/c, references to rape, homophobia, violence
Word Count: 4500
Status: WIP
Summary: Spock and his family have moved to Earth. He has accepted this. But when Jim Kirk moves in next door and Spock accidentally gets a glimpse of the younger boy’s pain, Spock refuses to accept the fact that he cannot help. It may be illogical, but he will unravel the mystery that is Jim Kirk.
A/N: Hello, everyone! Who’s excited about the last chapter? I know I am. XD
So this chapter is pretty much nothing but mush with a helping of sappy, sappy feelings. Well, after you get past the angsty parts. But seriously, after that, there is a lot of sap. So, enjoy it.
Chapter Twelve: Shooting Stars
...I see you sitting there at the window sill
Looking for shooting stars
I wanna get closer and closer still
I wanna take over your heart
You will be mine, mine
Over time, time
You’re gonna find, find
I’ll make you mine, mineSpock waited until he and his parents had finished clearing the table before broaching the subject of his t’hy’la’s situation. He had remained silent while in Jim’s company, but he found that with the human’s departure, he could no longer force himself to do so. He needed to get Jim away from his step-father, and he needed to do it as soon as possible.
“Mother, Father,” Spock said, drawing their attention as they settled on the couch. “I am concerned about Jim. Earlier today, he intimated that if he allowed himself to be in love with me, his step-father would kill him. He then informed me that he did not mean for his phraseology to be taken literally, but I believe that there may have been some truth in his words.” Spock paused, taking a deep breath to ensure that he retained his calm exterior. “As a result, I have been reflecting on ways in which we may remove Jim from the custody of his step-father. Unfortunately, the protocol on such situations seems to indicate that Jim would need to admit to the fact that he is being mistreated, and I do not foresee this being something Jim would acknowledge.”
Spock turned to his mother, knowing that his human eyes, so like hers, were probably full of the emotions he was working so hard to keep off of his face. He needed her to side with him though. His father would be less likely to approve, but if his mother agreed, Sarek would be much more easily persuaded.
Amanda’s eyes welled with tears. “Oh, Spock, I wish that your father and I could just take Jim away from Frank, but I can’t think of any way to make that happen. Jim is old enough that they won’t remove him from his parents unless there are witnesses to the abuse or he goes to the authorities.”
Spock’s heart sank. He wanted to save Jim, but he was still only seventeen. He could not do much to help his t’hy’la without the support of his parents.
“Spock,” Sarek said slowly. “Your mother is correct in that we, as your parents, have no authority to remove Jim from his step-father’s custody; however, I do understand the Vulcan instinct to protect one’s mate from harm. It is one that runs deep within our species, and it is not easily overcome.” Sarek looked over at Amanda, and Spock would swear his eyes softened slightly. “Though I was at first reluctant to do so-as the position of ambassador is not intended to be utilized in such a manner-I believe I may be able to use my contacts within the Terran government to get someone to look into this matter.”
Spock froze for a moment, stunned. He had not expected his father to agree with him, let alone offer to aid him in such a way. He found himself simply nodding dumbly before realizing that he had not yet thanked Sarek. “Yes, Father. I believe that would be of great assistance. I am appreciative.”
Sarek inclined his head. “I will begin making calls tomorrow.” Spock caught a glimpse of the same softness he had seen earlier once more reflected in his father’s eyes which were now directed at him. He had never noticed that look before and was unsure what it meant. He would need to consider it further during his evening’s meditations.
Amanda put her arm around Spock, a smile starting to form on her lips even as her mouth opened to speak. Before she could say anything though, Spock’s head jerked up as he heard a voice whisper his name.
He knew that voice. Of course, he knew that voice. It was Jim. Spock’s head tilted in confusion. Though he usually had some awareness of Jim and his emotional state, he had not previously been able to hear the human’s thoughts unless they were both asleep. Perhaps, Jim was trying to
contact him.
This thought gave him pause, and he grew momentarily excited in an uncharacteristic bout of optimism as he considered the reasons Jim could possibly be reaching out to him. Maybe Jim had finally admitted to himself that he wanted to be Spock’s mate. He lowered his mental shields eagerly, following the pathway forged between Jim’s mind and his own…
There was nothing on the other end. Jim’s mind was gone. Jim was…
“There is something wrong with Jim.” Spock was moving before either of his parents could formulate a response. Seconds later, he was pushing through the unlocked entrance to the Kirk residence and running up the stairs to where he knew Jim’s room must be despite the fact that he had never been in the house prior to that very moment.
He shouldered through the door to Jim’s room, not noticing the slam of the wood hitting the wall as he took in the sight before him.
Red. Blood. Jim’s blood. It was everywhere, large puddles spreading across the wooden floors, and Spock’s heightened senses ensured that it was all he could see, smell, taste. Jim’s body was a broken, bloody mess, unmoving as the red pools around him grew larger. Spock reached out with his mind, but he could not even sense his t’hy’la’s presence. There was only one logical explanation.
Jim was dead.
Spock let out a primal scream of rage, his gaze sweeping the room before narrowing in on the only person who could possibly be responsible for this. His t’hy’la-his future, his Jim-was dead, and this man was going to pay for causing it.
The human would not have stood a chance against a Vulcan, even had Spock not been in a state of rage so consuming that logic escaped him entirely. He could not think clearly. He could barely speak. All he knew was that this human was the one who had taken half of his soul.
Spock had him pinned against the wall by the throat before the man could blink. He leaned forward, baring his teeth and hissing in a jumble of Vulcan and Terran words, “You killed him. He was not yours to touch. He was mine.” The human scrabble to get the hand off of his neck, but Spock merely tightened his hold, nails digging into the sensitive skin and drawing blood. He was going to kill this man for taking from him what was rightfully his.
“Spock.”
He turned quickly, teeth still bared to deter any possible threats. Then, he blinked, realizing that his father was behind him, grimly crouched on the floor by Jim’s body.
“Spock,” his father reiterated. “Your t’hy’la is still alive. You must help him.”
His fingers unclenched, allowing the human to fall to the ground like the dead man he was going to be after Spock finished ensuring Jim’s survival.
He moved woodenly toward his father before dropping to his knees next to him, the blood pooled on the floor almost instantaneously soaking through the cloth covering his lower legs. A part of Spock’s mind noted that it was Jim’s blood coating him and knew that he would be horrified by that fact later.
Right now, though, there were more important things. Jim needed him, and Spock was going to save him.
“I believe that his body is in shock,” Sarek said in a low voice. “His organ systems are beginning to shut down entirely. You need to meld with him and prevent this from happening or he will die.”
Spock immediately moved his hand toward his t’hy’la’s face, but before his fingers could connect with Jim’s meld points, his father’s voice stayed him. “While I have never attempted what you are about to, I am familiar with the theory and have read several first-hand testimonies. Before you attempt to control his physical functions, you will need to locate his psychic presence. If you do not do this, even if you save him, he may not wake up. You must find him first.”
Spock felt a renewed sense of determination and nodded firmly at his father. Then, his fingers landed on Jim’s face, and he allowed himself to fall.
.......................................................................................................................................................................
Everything was dark when Spock regained awareness of his surroundings. He was immediately ill at ease. When he had melded with Jim before, the human’s brain had been dynamic, full of color and light and life. Now there was nothing, and Spock did not know where to even begin looking for his t’hy’la when it seemed as though there was nothing but limitless empty space.
He knew he needed to find some sort of guide to lead him to Jim, and so, devoid of any other ideas, he opened the link they shared and searched for any hint of his t’hy’la.
There was nothing at first, but after a few moments of concentration, Spock thought he could feel a slight tingle indicating the presence of life. He narrowed in on the feeling, and then, he knew exactly where Jim was.
Suddenly, he was standing in front of a very small-very young-blond boy, huddled against a large wall. Spock blinked, and then sighed in relief.
Jim was here. He was not dead. Spock could save him.
He knelt down next to the boy, who still hadn’t looked up. “Jim?” Spock prompted.
The boy finally raised his head warily, his eyes lacking any sort of recognition. “Who are you?”
Spock swallowed, pushing down the feelings Jim’s forgetting him engendered. “I am Spock. We are… friends.”
Jim looked at him curiously for a moment, before saying, “Spock. I think… you know the older me? He mentioned you.”
Spock stared at him, slightly startled by the question. “You are aware that you are older now?”
Jim nodded. “Yeah, he keeps me hidden because he thinks I make him weak. He told me to stay here…” Jim gestures to the wall behind him. “…with the other things he wanted to keep from you.” Silence reigned for a long minute as Spock thought this over. It was Jim’s right to have secrets, and so Spock was not going to pry; however, he also could not possibly leave this Jim here by himself. The boy fidgeted nervously before blurting out, “Get me out of here. Please. It’s so dark and scary, and I’m all alone.”
Spock immediately moved forward to comfort Jim, sweeping the boy up and wrapping his arms around him. Pressing the boy’s face into his shoulder, he said, “Never, Jim. You will never be alone again.”
And then, Spock’s arms were empty, and a voice was yelling at him, “What the fuck did you do, you Vulcan bastard? Where is he?” Jim-the Jim that Spock knew from the physical world-stormed up to him and pushed at his shoulder. “Didn’t you hear me, Spock? You shouldn’t even be here, so where the fuck is he?”
Spock did not know how to answer Jim’s question. One minute, the boy had been there, and the next…
Spock’s eyes widened. Oh. He allowed himself a moment to absorb the realization before attempting to placate Jim. “I- Jim, I believe I may have inadvertently completed our bond.” When Jim opened his mouth angrily, he hurried to continue, “But that is not the important thing at the moment. You are dying. I must ensure that your brain continues to function properly, so that your organ systems may do the same. You need to come with me.”
Jim gaped at him, not saying anything for several seconds. “I can’t, Spock…”
Spock held out one hand. “Jim, do you trust me?”
Jim pressed his lips together tightly and nodded once before placing his hand in Spock’s.
.............................................................................................................................................................
Spock partially surfaced from the meld when the paramedics arrived. He had been able to successfully keep Jim’s vital functions from ceasing, but he knew that Jim was not free from danger yet. And so, while a part of him was cataloguing what was physically occurring, a greater percentage of his efforts were concentrating on keeping Jim’s body breathing and, of course, with holding on to Jim inside their joined minds.
As the link between them had been blown wide open, Jim was experiencing everything he did. When Spock first noticed Jim’s step-father standing over in one corner of the room between two police officers and then saw the man’s bloody face-most of the blood seemed to stem from his broken nose-the human did as well. Jim’s first instinct was to flinch, Spock knew, but he only allowed himself a small shudder before asking, “What happened to Frank?”
Spock realized that he had not caused most of the damage the human currently exhibited. While the bruising around his throat could be attributed to him, Spock had not touched the man’s face. He looked around the room for some clue as to what had happened.
And then, he noticed that there was a paramedic currently bandaging his mother’s hand.
“It appears as though my mother took offense to his treatment of you,” Spock said unnecessarily, analyzing Jim’s face for a reaction.
Jim went still for a moment, seemingly not even breathing. His eyes were wet when he finally muttered, “Wh- If I wake up, remind me to thank her.”
Spock pulled Jim into his side and moved his arm up to wrap around Jim’s shoulders. His eyes closed involuntarily as he kissed his t’hy’la’s forehead. As Jim relaxed against him, Spock murmured, “‘When’, Jim. The word you are looking for is ‘when’.”
.........................................................................................................................................................................
The paramedics decided to load Jim and Spock into the ambulance approximately 1.2584 hours after Spock had initiated the meld. Once they arrived at the hospital, there was a blur of activity and before Spock knew it, the doctors had whisked Jim off to surgery, telling the Vulcan that he should join his parents in the waiting room and that they would inform him of any changes in his human’s condition as they became apparent.
Spock grudgingly did as he was told, but could not prevent himself from pacing the length of the small room until his mother told him that he was going to “wear a hole in the floor” if he did not stop.
And so, he sat, deciding instead to monitor Jim through their bond. He could not currently hear Jim’s thoughts-the human was on too much anesthetic for that to be possible-but he did know that Jim was still alive, and due to his intimate knowledge of his t’hy’la’s vital systems, he also knew that Jim was physically stable at the moment.
The hours passed slower than they should have, but soon enough, the doctor was coming out to tell him that Jim had been moved to the Intensive Care Unit for observation, but overall the outlook was positive. Spock stopped paying attention the minute the man uttered Jim’s room number.
3.5742 minutes later, Spock was sitting in a chair next to Jim’s bed, holding his Jim’s hand and murmuring comforting words straight into Jim’s mind.
...................................................................................................................................................................
“Spock.”
He could not get the memory of Jim’s fading mental whispers from his mind. Only the fact that he was currently holding the human’s hand-feeling the throb of his slow, steady pulse-was allowing him to retain the shreds of his composure. On the inside, though, Spock’s emotions were in complete and utter havoc.
Sitting here-Jim still drugged and absent from his mind-was giving him too much time to think about everything that had happened and how he could have prevented it. Jim had died. Jim’s heart had stopped, and only Spock’s intervention had saved his life.
Spock could have stopped all of this from happening. The guilt and pain the thought evoked were nearly overwhelming. He had almost been too late to save Jim from something that he never should have had to experience in the first place. If Spock had just done something sooner- He could have spoken to his father about utilizing his position as Ambassador weeks ago, but he had been in denial, hoping fervently that abuse was not the issue, and as a result, Jim had almost been killed.
“Spock.”
A hand touched his shoulder gently, and Spock finally realized that the voice saying his name was not echoing from within his memories of what Jim had thought to be his final moments. He raised his eyes, for the first time in a very long time, looking away from Jim’s bruised face to see his mother.
“Spock,” she said again. “Maybe you should go outside for a bit. You’ve been sitting here for hours.”
Spock did not respond, but immediately started shaking his head.
“Just step outside for five minutes. Get some fresh air,” she attempted to persuade him. When he just continued to shake his head, she finally said, “You look horrible, dear, and really, is that the first thing you want Jim to see when he wakes up?” When he simply stared at her, Amanda sighed and pulled him from the chair. “Stay outside for at least ten minutes, and then you may return.” She pushed him toward the door and then sat down in his vacated chair. “Go. I’ll be timing you.”
Spock moved on autopilot, taking the shortest and most efficient route to the nearest egress and then, after exiting the building, sitting down on a brick half-wall built along the edge of the parking lot. He leaned back, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. It did feel good to breathe in something that wasn’t stale hospital air, tainted with the scent of blood and death. He realized that just the few minutes he had been out here had already improved his disposition and resolved to thank his mother once he returned to the room.
Spock’s eyes opened, and he took in the night sky. He recalled the last time he had done so, just a few days ago with Jim, remembering what he had told him about shooting stars.
“Shooting stars represent hope,” he had told Jim. “It is only natural that you would look elsewhere for something that you yourself lack.”
At the moment, Spock himself was rather bereft of hope. Jim had not woken up yet, and though Spock could monitor his vital signs, he had yet to be able to catch any thoughts from his t’hy’la, despite the fact that the initial anesthetics the doctors had administered had already worn off. This was both frightening and worrying to Spock. Despite telling Jim earlier that the correct word was ‘when’ not ‘if’, a part of him could not help but wonder what he would do if Jim never woke up.
Spock shook himself. That could not be allowed to happen. If Spock had to keep Jim’s heart beating by melding with him for the rest of his natural life, he would do so. Jim would not die.
All he needed was hope, Spock thought as he scanned the stars. Just a small sign.
A small burst of light streaked through the night sky, causing Spock’s breath to catch in his chest. The corner of his mouth twitched upward just slightly in a hopeful smile as he rushed back into the hospital.
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The first thing Jim saw when he woke up was Spock. Of course it was Spock. He had opened his eyes, blinking them blearily for a moment until the world swam into focus, and then bam. Sudden attack of Spock’s face. And fuck, he looked worried.
Spock looked at him disapprovingly. “Jim, I did not attack you with my face, and I have every right to be worried. You almost died.”
Shit, Spock was right. He had almost died. When Frank had been beating the crap out of him earlier, Jim had been sure that he wasn’t going to make it. He had been positive that even if someone did find him, he would have lost way too much blood for them to save him.
But Spock had saved him. Sure, he had ended up giving them a freaky ass bond as a tradeoff, but still, the Vulcan bastard had saved his live.
Wait.
They were bonded.
They were bonded.
Oh, shit. What the fuck did that even mean?
Jim sat there for several moments, quietly freaking out (though the panic was dulled slightly by the copious amounts of painkillers he was surely being pumped full of). Then, Spock put a steady hand on Jim’s shoulder, and he was suddenly calm.
“I had no choice, Jim,” Spock said, answering his unspoken question. “You were going to die.” Jim felt a surge of embarrassment, and only realized it was coming from Spock when the Vulcan continued speaking. “I must admit to you that I might have subconsciously bonded us on purpose. You
are my t’hy’la, and as such, my mind’s natural instinct is to keep you with me by whatever means necessary. I believe that I must apologize for…”
“Spock,” Jim croaked out, cutting off Spock’s apologies before he could complete them. “Spock, I…” He coughed, and Spock immediately leapt up to get him a glass of water. Jim took a few careful sips before placing the cup down on the bedside table. “Thanks,” he murmured, voice still a bit raspy. “What I was going to say was that I don’t think you could have bonded us if my mind didn’t want it too. I… You wouldn’t force anything on me. I know that.” He felt his shoulders hunch at the admission. It was probably going to take a while before he would be even close to comfortable talking about this shit, but he had to try because he owed Spock that much. “You know, I… I…”
He couldn’t say it though. It was only three words, but Jim just couldn’t do it yet.
Instead, he extended the first two fingers of his right hand toward Spock. When their fingers connected in a Vulcan kiss and Jim saw the look on
Spock’s face, he knew that he had done the right thing. Spock knew that he loved him, and that was all that mattered.
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Jim drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the day. He was actually surprised that he was comfortable enough to sleep while in a god damned hospital-he really, really fucking hated hospitals-but the warmth of Spock’s hand in his somehow made him relax enough to just let it happen.
Jim was awake again that night when Amanda and Sarek entered his room. He tried to prop himself up further in the bed so that he could give them a proper greeting, but gave up when he noticed the looks on their faces. Amanda looked conflicted, her facial expression warring between being upset and relieved, and though Jim could not read Sarek at all, Spock was marginally better at it and was projecting worry.
“Mother, Father,” Spock greeted them. “What is wrong?”
Amanda doesn’t answer, instead going to the side of the bed that Spock wasn’t hogging. “Jim, how are you?”
Jim shrugged and then winced as the movement tugged at healing skin. “I’m fine.” At their skeptical looks, he continued, “No, really, Spock’s been sitting there watching me like the frickin’ creeper we all know he is, so it’s not like I’m going to be able to reinjure myself,” Jim grumped.
“I am sorry we weren’t able to be here when you woke up. Some things have come up that needed our attention.” Amanda looked over at her husband, and some sort of silent communication took place before she turned back to Jim, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth pressed in a thin line. “Jim, this morning your house burned down. Unfortunately, your step-father didn’t make it out.”
Jim stared at her in shock. Frank was dead? He didn’t know how to handle the news, emotionally torn in multiple directions. A part of him was relieved that he wouldn’t have to live with that bastard ever again. Then, of course, there was a very, very small part of him that felt guilty for feeling that way.
A dawning realization erased all other feelings and replaced them with horror. He knew that his mother would never come back in the middle of a deep space mission to look after Jim. Without Frank, he had no one to look after him. He would probably end up in foster care.
And while that notion was fucking terrifying, it wasn’t as bad as the next one that hit him. They were going to take him away from Spock.
Spock caught this train of thought and visibly blanched. “Mother, what is going to happen to Jim?”
Amanda smiled softly and looked to Sarek, who moved forward to stand by her side. “The relationship between you and Jim, in addition to my position as Vulcan Ambassador, made it possible for me to make a call to Winona Kirk despite the current position of her ship in deep space. During our conversation, I asked her what she intended to do with Jim now that her husband was deceased.” His expression grew hard and flinty, and Jim knew that Winona had probably told Sarek of her plans to dump him at the nearest foster home. “We agreed that she would transfer custody of Jim to Amanda and myself until he turns eighteen.”
Spock’s grip on Jim’s hand tightened, and Jim barely suppressed his relief. He couldn’t keep himself from asking, “Are you sure you want to…? I mean, I won’t be eighteen for three years. I couldn’t ask you to…”
Amanda stopped him by putting a hand on his cheek. “Jim. You are bonded to our son. He loves you, and so do we.”
Jim blinked back tears as he realized that she truly meant it. His own mother had never told him that she loved him, and now he had Spock’s parents, not only willing to allow him to live with them, but willing to love him as well.
Jim squeezed Spock’s hand in his own and realized that after fifteen years of waiting, he had finally found a family.
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A/N: Alright, so I know I promised you guys a kiss, but I really, really didn’t see it happening in this chapter, so I had them Vulcan kiss instead. For the record, Frank was totally the master of his own fate on this one. I’m not quite sure how he did it, but he was so the one who burned the house down while still inside it. I’ll let you guys come up with appropriately stupid things he could have done to make that happen.
By the way, I am going to be posting an epilogue soon. I am planning on posting the epilogue of this story and the prologue of the next one on the same night, so that you guys can go follow the new story if you want to.
Other than that, I would like to ask you guys to please review to let me know what you think. I would be ever grateful to all of you if you would do so. XD
Chapter Eleven: Written in Red | Masterpost | Epilogue
Author: Miss Meh
Universe/Series: Star Trek XI
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Kirk/Spock, Amanda/Sarek
Warnings: AU, language, angst, h/c, references to rape, homophobia, violence
Word Count: 4500
Status: WIP
Summary: Spock and his family have moved to Earth. He has accepted this. But when Jim Kirk moves in next door and Spock accidentally gets a glimpse of the younger boy’s pain, Spock refuses to accept the fact that he cannot help. It may be illogical, but he will unravel the mystery that is Jim Kirk.
A/N: Hello, everyone! Who’s excited about the last chapter? I know I am. XD
So this chapter is pretty much nothing but mush with a helping of sappy, sappy feelings. Well, after you get past the angsty parts. But seriously, after that, there is a lot of sap. So, enjoy it.
Chapter Twelve: Shooting Stars
...I see you sitting there at the window sill
Looking for shooting stars
I wanna get closer and closer still
I wanna take over your heart
You will be mine, mine
Over time, time
You’re gonna find, find
I’ll make you mine, mineSpock waited until he and his parents had finished clearing the table before broaching the subject of his t’hy’la’s situation. He had remained silent while in Jim’s company, but he found that with the human’s departure, he could no longer force himself to do so. He needed to get Jim away from his step-father, and he needed to do it as soon as possible.
“Mother, Father,” Spock said, drawing their attention as they settled on the couch. “I am concerned about Jim. Earlier today, he intimated that if he allowed himself to be in love with me, his step-father would kill him. He then informed me that he did not mean for his phraseology to be taken literally, but I believe that there may have been some truth in his words.” Spock paused, taking a deep breath to ensure that he retained his calm exterior. “As a result, I have been reflecting on ways in which we may remove Jim from the custody of his step-father. Unfortunately, the protocol on such situations seems to indicate that Jim would need to admit to the fact that he is being mistreated, and I do not foresee this being something Jim would acknowledge.”
Spock turned to his mother, knowing that his human eyes, so like hers, were probably full of the emotions he was working so hard to keep off of his face. He needed her to side with him though. His father would be less likely to approve, but if his mother agreed, Sarek would be much more easily persuaded.
Amanda’s eyes welled with tears. “Oh, Spock, I wish that your father and I could just take Jim away from Frank, but I can’t think of any way to make that happen. Jim is old enough that they won’t remove him from his parents unless there are witnesses to the abuse or he goes to the authorities.”
Spock’s heart sank. He wanted to save Jim, but he was still only seventeen. He could not do much to help his t’hy’la without the support of his parents.
“Spock,” Sarek said slowly. “Your mother is correct in that we, as your parents, have no authority to remove Jim from his step-father’s custody; however, I do understand the Vulcan instinct to protect one’s mate from harm. It is one that runs deep within our species, and it is not easily overcome.” Sarek looked over at Amanda, and Spock would swear his eyes softened slightly. “Though I was at first reluctant to do so-as the position of ambassador is not intended to be utilized in such a manner-I believe I may be able to use my contacts within the Terran government to get someone to look into this matter.”
Spock froze for a moment, stunned. He had not expected his father to agree with him, let alone offer to aid him in such a way. He found himself simply nodding dumbly before realizing that he had not yet thanked Sarek. “Yes, Father. I believe that would be of great assistance. I am appreciative.”
Sarek inclined his head. “I will begin making calls tomorrow.” Spock caught a glimpse of the same softness he had seen earlier once more reflected in his father’s eyes which were now directed at him. He had never noticed that look before and was unsure what it meant. He would need to consider it further during his evening’s meditations.
Amanda put her arm around Spock, a smile starting to form on her lips even as her mouth opened to speak. Before she could say anything though, Spock’s head jerked up as he heard a voice whisper his name.
He knew that voice. Of course, he knew that voice. It was Jim. Spock’s head tilted in confusion. Though he usually had some awareness of Jim and his emotional state, he had not previously been able to hear the human’s thoughts unless they were both asleep. Perhaps, Jim was trying to
contact him.
This thought gave him pause, and he grew momentarily excited in an uncharacteristic bout of optimism as he considered the reasons Jim could possibly be reaching out to him. Maybe Jim had finally admitted to himself that he wanted to be Spock’s mate. He lowered his mental shields eagerly, following the pathway forged between Jim’s mind and his own…
There was nothing on the other end. Jim’s mind was gone. Jim was…
“There is something wrong with Jim.” Spock was moving before either of his parents could formulate a response. Seconds later, he was pushing through the unlocked entrance to the Kirk residence and running up the stairs to where he knew Jim’s room must be despite the fact that he had never been in the house prior to that very moment.
He shouldered through the door to Jim’s room, not noticing the slam of the wood hitting the wall as he took in the sight before him.
Red. Blood. Jim’s blood. It was everywhere, large puddles spreading across the wooden floors, and Spock’s heightened senses ensured that it was all he could see, smell, taste. Jim’s body was a broken, bloody mess, unmoving as the red pools around him grew larger. Spock reached out with his mind, but he could not even sense his t’hy’la’s presence. There was only one logical explanation.
Jim was dead.
Spock let out a primal scream of rage, his gaze sweeping the room before narrowing in on the only person who could possibly be responsible for this. His t’hy’la-his future, his Jim-was dead, and this man was going to pay for causing it.
The human would not have stood a chance against a Vulcan, even had Spock not been in a state of rage so consuming that logic escaped him entirely. He could not think clearly. He could barely speak. All he knew was that this human was the one who had taken half of his soul.
Spock had him pinned against the wall by the throat before the man could blink. He leaned forward, baring his teeth and hissing in a jumble of Vulcan and Terran words, “You killed him. He was not yours to touch. He was mine.” The human scrabble to get the hand off of his neck, but Spock merely tightened his hold, nails digging into the sensitive skin and drawing blood. He was going to kill this man for taking from him what was rightfully his.
“Spock.”
He turned quickly, teeth still bared to deter any possible threats. Then, he blinked, realizing that his father was behind him, grimly crouched on the floor by Jim’s body.
“Spock,” his father reiterated. “Your t’hy’la is still alive. You must help him.”
His fingers unclenched, allowing the human to fall to the ground like the dead man he was going to be after Spock finished ensuring Jim’s survival.
He moved woodenly toward his father before dropping to his knees next to him, the blood pooled on the floor almost instantaneously soaking through the cloth covering his lower legs. A part of Spock’s mind noted that it was Jim’s blood coating him and knew that he would be horrified by that fact later.
Right now, though, there were more important things. Jim needed him, and Spock was going to save him.
“I believe that his body is in shock,” Sarek said in a low voice. “His organ systems are beginning to shut down entirely. You need to meld with him and prevent this from happening or he will die.”
Spock immediately moved his hand toward his t’hy’la’s face, but before his fingers could connect with Jim’s meld points, his father’s voice stayed him. “While I have never attempted what you are about to, I am familiar with the theory and have read several first-hand testimonies. Before you attempt to control his physical functions, you will need to locate his psychic presence. If you do not do this, even if you save him, he may not wake up. You must find him first.”
Spock felt a renewed sense of determination and nodded firmly at his father. Then, his fingers landed on Jim’s face, and he allowed himself to fall.
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Everything was dark when Spock regained awareness of his surroundings. He was immediately ill at ease. When he had melded with Jim before, the human’s brain had been dynamic, full of color and light and life. Now there was nothing, and Spock did not know where to even begin looking for his t’hy’la when it seemed as though there was nothing but limitless empty space.
He knew he needed to find some sort of guide to lead him to Jim, and so, devoid of any other ideas, he opened the link they shared and searched for any hint of his t’hy’la.
There was nothing at first, but after a few moments of concentration, Spock thought he could feel a slight tingle indicating the presence of life. He narrowed in on the feeling, and then, he knew exactly where Jim was.
Suddenly, he was standing in front of a very small-very young-blond boy, huddled against a large wall. Spock blinked, and then sighed in relief.
Jim was here. He was not dead. Spock could save him.
He knelt down next to the boy, who still hadn’t looked up. “Jim?” Spock prompted.
The boy finally raised his head warily, his eyes lacking any sort of recognition. “Who are you?”
Spock swallowed, pushing down the feelings Jim’s forgetting him engendered. “I am Spock. We are… friends.”
Jim looked at him curiously for a moment, before saying, “Spock. I think… you know the older me? He mentioned you.”
Spock stared at him, slightly startled by the question. “You are aware that you are older now?”
Jim nodded. “Yeah, he keeps me hidden because he thinks I make him weak. He told me to stay here…” Jim gestures to the wall behind him. “…with the other things he wanted to keep from you.” Silence reigned for a long minute as Spock thought this over. It was Jim’s right to have secrets, and so Spock was not going to pry; however, he also could not possibly leave this Jim here by himself. The boy fidgeted nervously before blurting out, “Get me out of here. Please. It’s so dark and scary, and I’m all alone.”
Spock immediately moved forward to comfort Jim, sweeping the boy up and wrapping his arms around him. Pressing the boy’s face into his shoulder, he said, “Never, Jim. You will never be alone again.”
And then, Spock’s arms were empty, and a voice was yelling at him, “What the fuck did you do, you Vulcan bastard? Where is he?” Jim-the Jim that Spock knew from the physical world-stormed up to him and pushed at his shoulder. “Didn’t you hear me, Spock? You shouldn’t even be here, so where the fuck is he?”
Spock did not know how to answer Jim’s question. One minute, the boy had been there, and the next…
Spock’s eyes widened. Oh. He allowed himself a moment to absorb the realization before attempting to placate Jim. “I- Jim, I believe I may have inadvertently completed our bond.” When Jim opened his mouth angrily, he hurried to continue, “But that is not the important thing at the moment. You are dying. I must ensure that your brain continues to function properly, so that your organ systems may do the same. You need to come with me.”
Jim gaped at him, not saying anything for several seconds. “I can’t, Spock…”
Spock held out one hand. “Jim, do you trust me?”
Jim pressed his lips together tightly and nodded once before placing his hand in Spock’s.
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Spock partially surfaced from the meld when the paramedics arrived. He had been able to successfully keep Jim’s vital functions from ceasing, but he knew that Jim was not free from danger yet. And so, while a part of him was cataloguing what was physically occurring, a greater percentage of his efforts were concentrating on keeping Jim’s body breathing and, of course, with holding on to Jim inside their joined minds.
As the link between them had been blown wide open, Jim was experiencing everything he did. When Spock first noticed Jim’s step-father standing over in one corner of the room between two police officers and then saw the man’s bloody face-most of the blood seemed to stem from his broken nose-the human did as well. Jim’s first instinct was to flinch, Spock knew, but he only allowed himself a small shudder before asking, “What happened to Frank?”
Spock realized that he had not caused most of the damage the human currently exhibited. While the bruising around his throat could be attributed to him, Spock had not touched the man’s face. He looked around the room for some clue as to what had happened.
And then, he noticed that there was a paramedic currently bandaging his mother’s hand.
“It appears as though my mother took offense to his treatment of you,” Spock said unnecessarily, analyzing Jim’s face for a reaction.
Jim went still for a moment, seemingly not even breathing. His eyes were wet when he finally muttered, “Wh- If I wake up, remind me to thank her.”
Spock pulled Jim into his side and moved his arm up to wrap around Jim’s shoulders. His eyes closed involuntarily as he kissed his t’hy’la’s forehead. As Jim relaxed against him, Spock murmured, “‘When’, Jim. The word you are looking for is ‘when’.”
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The paramedics decided to load Jim and Spock into the ambulance approximately 1.2584 hours after Spock had initiated the meld. Once they arrived at the hospital, there was a blur of activity and before Spock knew it, the doctors had whisked Jim off to surgery, telling the Vulcan that he should join his parents in the waiting room and that they would inform him of any changes in his human’s condition as they became apparent.
Spock grudgingly did as he was told, but could not prevent himself from pacing the length of the small room until his mother told him that he was going to “wear a hole in the floor” if he did not stop.
And so, he sat, deciding instead to monitor Jim through their bond. He could not currently hear Jim’s thoughts-the human was on too much anesthetic for that to be possible-but he did know that Jim was still alive, and due to his intimate knowledge of his t’hy’la’s vital systems, he also knew that Jim was physically stable at the moment.
The hours passed slower than they should have, but soon enough, the doctor was coming out to tell him that Jim had been moved to the Intensive Care Unit for observation, but overall the outlook was positive. Spock stopped paying attention the minute the man uttered Jim’s room number.
3.5742 minutes later, Spock was sitting in a chair next to Jim’s bed, holding his Jim’s hand and murmuring comforting words straight into Jim’s mind.
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“Spock.”
He could not get the memory of Jim’s fading mental whispers from his mind. Only the fact that he was currently holding the human’s hand-feeling the throb of his slow, steady pulse-was allowing him to retain the shreds of his composure. On the inside, though, Spock’s emotions were in complete and utter havoc.
Sitting here-Jim still drugged and absent from his mind-was giving him too much time to think about everything that had happened and how he could have prevented it. Jim had died. Jim’s heart had stopped, and only Spock’s intervention had saved his life.
Spock could have stopped all of this from happening. The guilt and pain the thought evoked were nearly overwhelming. He had almost been too late to save Jim from something that he never should have had to experience in the first place. If Spock had just done something sooner- He could have spoken to his father about utilizing his position as Ambassador weeks ago, but he had been in denial, hoping fervently that abuse was not the issue, and as a result, Jim had almost been killed.
“Spock.”
A hand touched his shoulder gently, and Spock finally realized that the voice saying his name was not echoing from within his memories of what Jim had thought to be his final moments. He raised his eyes, for the first time in a very long time, looking away from Jim’s bruised face to see his mother.
“Spock,” she said again. “Maybe you should go outside for a bit. You’ve been sitting here for hours.”
Spock did not respond, but immediately started shaking his head.
“Just step outside for five minutes. Get some fresh air,” she attempted to persuade him. When he just continued to shake his head, she finally said, “You look horrible, dear, and really, is that the first thing you want Jim to see when he wakes up?” When he simply stared at her, Amanda sighed and pulled him from the chair. “Stay outside for at least ten minutes, and then you may return.” She pushed him toward the door and then sat down in his vacated chair. “Go. I’ll be timing you.”
Spock moved on autopilot, taking the shortest and most efficient route to the nearest egress and then, after exiting the building, sitting down on a brick half-wall built along the edge of the parking lot. He leaned back, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. It did feel good to breathe in something that wasn’t stale hospital air, tainted with the scent of blood and death. He realized that just the few minutes he had been out here had already improved his disposition and resolved to thank his mother once he returned to the room.
Spock’s eyes opened, and he took in the night sky. He recalled the last time he had done so, just a few days ago with Jim, remembering what he had told him about shooting stars.
“Shooting stars represent hope,” he had told Jim. “It is only natural that you would look elsewhere for something that you yourself lack.”
At the moment, Spock himself was rather bereft of hope. Jim had not woken up yet, and though Spock could monitor his vital signs, he had yet to be able to catch any thoughts from his t’hy’la, despite the fact that the initial anesthetics the doctors had administered had already worn off. This was both frightening and worrying to Spock. Despite telling Jim earlier that the correct word was ‘when’ not ‘if’, a part of him could not help but wonder what he would do if Jim never woke up.
Spock shook himself. That could not be allowed to happen. If Spock had to keep Jim’s heart beating by melding with him for the rest of his natural life, he would do so. Jim would not die.
All he needed was hope, Spock thought as he scanned the stars. Just a small sign.
A small burst of light streaked through the night sky, causing Spock’s breath to catch in his chest. The corner of his mouth twitched upward just slightly in a hopeful smile as he rushed back into the hospital.
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The first thing Jim saw when he woke up was Spock. Of course it was Spock. He had opened his eyes, blinking them blearily for a moment until the world swam into focus, and then bam. Sudden attack of Spock’s face. And fuck, he looked worried.
Spock looked at him disapprovingly. “Jim, I did not attack you with my face, and I have every right to be worried. You almost died.”
Shit, Spock was right. He had almost died. When Frank had been beating the crap out of him earlier, Jim had been sure that he wasn’t going to make it. He had been positive that even if someone did find him, he would have lost way too much blood for them to save him.
But Spock had saved him. Sure, he had ended up giving them a freaky ass bond as a tradeoff, but still, the Vulcan bastard had saved his live.
Wait.
They were bonded.
They were bonded.
Oh, shit. What the fuck did that even mean?
Jim sat there for several moments, quietly freaking out (though the panic was dulled slightly by the copious amounts of painkillers he was surely being pumped full of). Then, Spock put a steady hand on Jim’s shoulder, and he was suddenly calm.
“I had no choice, Jim,” Spock said, answering his unspoken question. “You were going to die.” Jim felt a surge of embarrassment, and only realized it was coming from Spock when the Vulcan continued speaking. “I must admit to you that I might have subconsciously bonded us on purpose. You
are my t’hy’la, and as such, my mind’s natural instinct is to keep you with me by whatever means necessary. I believe that I must apologize for…”
“Spock,” Jim croaked out, cutting off Spock’s apologies before he could complete them. “Spock, I…” He coughed, and Spock immediately leapt up to get him a glass of water. Jim took a few careful sips before placing the cup down on the bedside table. “Thanks,” he murmured, voice still a bit raspy. “What I was going to say was that I don’t think you could have bonded us if my mind didn’t want it too. I… You wouldn’t force anything on me. I know that.” He felt his shoulders hunch at the admission. It was probably going to take a while before he would be even close to comfortable talking about this shit, but he had to try because he owed Spock that much. “You know, I… I…”
He couldn’t say it though. It was only three words, but Jim just couldn’t do it yet.
Instead, he extended the first two fingers of his right hand toward Spock. When their fingers connected in a Vulcan kiss and Jim saw the look on
Spock’s face, he knew that he had done the right thing. Spock knew that he loved him, and that was all that mattered.
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Jim drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the day. He was actually surprised that he was comfortable enough to sleep while in a god damned hospital-he really, really fucking hated hospitals-but the warmth of Spock’s hand in his somehow made him relax enough to just let it happen.
Jim was awake again that night when Amanda and Sarek entered his room. He tried to prop himself up further in the bed so that he could give them a proper greeting, but gave up when he noticed the looks on their faces. Amanda looked conflicted, her facial expression warring between being upset and relieved, and though Jim could not read Sarek at all, Spock was marginally better at it and was projecting worry.
“Mother, Father,” Spock greeted them. “What is wrong?”
Amanda doesn’t answer, instead going to the side of the bed that Spock wasn’t hogging. “Jim, how are you?”
Jim shrugged and then winced as the movement tugged at healing skin. “I’m fine.” At their skeptical looks, he continued, “No, really, Spock’s been sitting there watching me like the frickin’ creeper we all know he is, so it’s not like I’m going to be able to reinjure myself,” Jim grumped.
“I am sorry we weren’t able to be here when you woke up. Some things have come up that needed our attention.” Amanda looked over at her husband, and some sort of silent communication took place before she turned back to Jim, her eyebrows furrowed and her mouth pressed in a thin line. “Jim, this morning your house burned down. Unfortunately, your step-father didn’t make it out.”
Jim stared at her in shock. Frank was dead? He didn’t know how to handle the news, emotionally torn in multiple directions. A part of him was relieved that he wouldn’t have to live with that bastard ever again. Then, of course, there was a very, very small part of him that felt guilty for feeling that way.
A dawning realization erased all other feelings and replaced them with horror. He knew that his mother would never come back in the middle of a deep space mission to look after Jim. Without Frank, he had no one to look after him. He would probably end up in foster care.
And while that notion was fucking terrifying, it wasn’t as bad as the next one that hit him. They were going to take him away from Spock.
Spock caught this train of thought and visibly blanched. “Mother, what is going to happen to Jim?”
Amanda smiled softly and looked to Sarek, who moved forward to stand by her side. “The relationship between you and Jim, in addition to my position as Vulcan Ambassador, made it possible for me to make a call to Winona Kirk despite the current position of her ship in deep space. During our conversation, I asked her what she intended to do with Jim now that her husband was deceased.” His expression grew hard and flinty, and Jim knew that Winona had probably told Sarek of her plans to dump him at the nearest foster home. “We agreed that she would transfer custody of Jim to Amanda and myself until he turns eighteen.”
Spock’s grip on Jim’s hand tightened, and Jim barely suppressed his relief. He couldn’t keep himself from asking, “Are you sure you want to…? I mean, I won’t be eighteen for three years. I couldn’t ask you to…”
Amanda stopped him by putting a hand on his cheek. “Jim. You are bonded to our son. He loves you, and so do we.”
Jim blinked back tears as he realized that she truly meant it. His own mother had never told him that she loved him, and now he had Spock’s parents, not only willing to allow him to live with them, but willing to love him as well.
Jim squeezed Spock’s hand in his own and realized that after fifteen years of waiting, he had finally found a family.
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A/N: Alright, so I know I promised you guys a kiss, but I really, really didn’t see it happening in this chapter, so I had them Vulcan kiss instead. For the record, Frank was totally the master of his own fate on this one. I’m not quite sure how he did it, but he was so the one who burned the house down while still inside it. I’ll let you guys come up with appropriately stupid things he could have done to make that happen.
By the way, I am going to be posting an epilogue soon. I am planning on posting the epilogue of this story and the prologue of the next one on the same night, so that you guys can go follow the new story if you want to.
Other than that, I would like to ask you guys to please review to let me know what you think. I would be ever grateful to all of you if you would do so. XD
Chapter Eleven: Written in Red | Masterpost | Epilogue