P.A.R.K. {Kizuna}
Title: P.A.R.K {Kizuna}
Rating: Clean as a newly-washed dish
Disclaimer: I don't own them...they own me...
Next Chp : {Code}
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Kame couldn't believe his ears.
"P.A.R.K?"
His voice echoed the old man's announcement. Johnny-san turned to him.
"Yes. P.A.R.K, Kame. P.A.R.K. Or do you prefer K.R.A.P? "
Kame clamped his mouth shut. Johnny-san does not like to be interrupted while explaining his grand plans. Kame should have known that.
But he still can't help himself.
"Why?"
"Because that is how our fans call us? You are really dumb, you know"
Ryo.
Kame had never felt at ease with the small guy. Now, that "never felt at ease" had just turned into "intense dislike".
This is SO not gonna work out...
Kame looked at the others gathered in the cramped office.
Ryo, Jin and Pi.
Kame began calculating the odds of them ganging up on him and sighed. Its common fact among JE guys that he is not on good terms with the other 3, who, coincidentally, happen to be good friends.
Good friends...All of them...But not with me...
As Kame looked up, he caught Jin's eyes. For the slightest moment, he thought he saw a shadow of the old familiarity in them, but they were instantly replaced by those uncaring eyes once again before diverting their attention away.
...No....Not even him...Not anymore...
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The sun was merciless on his back, but Kame didn't care. He is just feeling worried about the way the 3 are staring at him now.
"So will you do it or not?"
3 pairs of eyes. Kame folded his arms and focused on the pair belonging to Pi.
"Why me?"
Pi gave a shrug.
"Coz you talk good? None of us here can talk as good as you do. Have you seen any of us hosting a show before?"
"Yes, whe..."
"That was when we were young."
Kame clamped his mouth shut and gave a pointed stare at Ryo. He hates it when people cut into his speech. Especially when it comes from Ryo.
He is just bludeh offensive.
"So just because I hosted a..."
"Just do it, Kame."
The quiet voice silenced Kame. He looked over at the pair of eyes belonging to the voice, but the moment he found the pair, they averted away.
Guilty. Pained.
Jin.
Kame waited for the pair to return his stare, but they remain averted. A twang of hurt flashed through him, like it has been for the millionth time possibly.
The frown deepened as he turn back to Pi's gaze.
"Fine. But I'll only be the spokesperson, not leader. Leader, you be the one."
Kame tried to return Pi's hard stare, but ended up looking to the ground. He could not understand how YamaPi's fans can stand his stare.
Such unnerving gaze...
"Okay, then its all settled."
Kame snorted. He knew this was what Pi had wanted right from the start. The NewS's leader is really a control freak, but since he fail in the talk department, he had to get someone else to do it. Someone who will shrug that leader position back to him.
Leadership without the hassles. How very convenient for him.
"Alright then. Now that all is settled, let's talk over some nice ramen. Jin, I found a restaurant that sells good squid ink spaghetti. You like them, don't you?"
Kame watched Jin smile at Ryo's question with cold jealousy. To have his old friend smile back at him....
I will do anything....
Kame felt the room fell silent. He snapped his attention back to the three friends who were looking at him expectantly.
"Weeellll...?" Yamapi drawled.
Kame frowned. "What?"
"Well, are you joining us or not?" Ryo asked, impatient at the youngest KAT-TUN member's lack of attention to the discussions in the group.
Kame shook his head. He knew that with him around, Jin will not be at ease.
Either that or he'll just blatantly ignore me...
"Okay then!" Pi said, just a little too enthusiastically "Treat will be on Jin!"
Kame watched as the 3 started to leave the room, laughing and joking with each other. Nobody seemed to remember he was there at all as Jin ran off, trying to avoid Pi who was trying to tickle his collarbone.
Who am I...? Kame asked himself.
"Jaa".
Kame looked up from the floor. Ryo was at the doorway looking back at him. His face broke into a smile and the haughtiness that Kame always felt from the small Osakan disappear . Although confused by this unexpected reaction from Ryo, Kame couldn't help but offer a small smile in return.
"Jaa" he waved back.
Ryo nodded before catching up with the other 2 who had long gone ahead.
Once again, Kame felt the bitter loneliness return. But this time, he felt that little bit of comfort from Ryo's goodbye.
A small smile played on Kame's lips.
...I know just the way to get him back...
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Jin stared at his plate of squid ink spaghetti. It looks the least bit appetising, but still Jin loves the unique taste. In the background, Pi and Ryo are busy eating their own meals with such gusto.
P.A.R.K.
Pi, Akanishi, Ryo, Kamenashi.
Kamenashi. Kame...
Jin closed his eyes. never a day pass without him trying to not think about the guy, but it became almost inevitable. Being in KAT-TUN itself has been a torture. But being KAT-TUN AND PA.R.K with Kame...
There's no way I can avoid thinking about him...
"Jin."
Pi's voice broke his thoughts. Jin looked up to see the two of them looking at him, concern clearly displayed in their eyes. He gave them a slight smile to indicate that he is fine and began twirling his fork on the spaghetti.
"It's him, isn't it? I know you too well, buddy. You can't hide it with a small smile like that. At least not from me."
Yeah, you know me too well, Pi.
Jin shrugged his shoulders, refusing to answer. Afterall, Pi can guess what is on his best friend's mind.
But not Ryo.
He dropped his spoon into the already empty bowl with a clutter and leaned back into the comfortable chair. He stared at Jin's display of lacking appetite and then leaned forward again, curiosity clearly shown in his eyes.
"Tell me, Jin. What happened between the both of you? I mean, hey, Kame IS pretty despicable. I can't help wanting to smack his face everytime I see him. He is just as bad as that weird guy."
Jin knew that Ryo is talking about Ueda. And since Kame was the one who defended Ueda everytime, Ryo hates Kame as well. Thank goodness, Ryo respects the fact that both Ueda and Kame are Jin's group mates, so he tries his best not to make Jin uncomfortable with his snide comments.
But now that we are in a group...
"Was it in L.A?"
Pi's voice came out softer than normal, as if not wanting to hurt Jin with the question. But Jin knows that the tactful approach is bellying a greater curiosity.
To many people, his LA 6 months deferment was shrouded in a mystery so deep that it raised many questions and speculations within the media circle as well as the fans themselves. Even the other Johnnys weren't privy to the reason behind his temporary move to Los Angeles. Only KAT-TUN members knew what happened, apart from Johnny himself.
Jin shook his head again, refusing to answer Pi's question. He could see the disappointment reflected in Pi's eyes and it hurts Jin to be disappointing his bestfriend so. But the truth isn't for Pi to know, nor anyone else.
At least not now...., Jin tried to assure himself.
"Don't worry, guys...I would never let that guy affect my appetite. And don't you go on calling Ueda weird, Ryo."
"Shall I call him soft then?" Ryo raised an eyebrow.
Jin chuckled. "Try getting a hook punch from him, and then you'll see if he is soft or not."
As laughter erupted from the 3, Jin felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Although he managed to divert the topic of conversation away from the LA trip, he couldn't help but feel disgusted and trapped by his own lies.
All my life, I'm lying...To the media, to the fans....and now to my own bestfriend...
I am nothing but a liar.
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Ryo was surprised that he wasn't the first to arrive at the meeeting room. Kame was already there before him. And from the way it looked, he was there for at least half an hour beforehand.
Impressive.
Knowing that the other 2 will be late as usual, Ryo looked arround the room. Some bottled mineral drinks lined up the pantry table, along with a small ricecooker and some packed natto. Picking them up with a bowl of newly-cooked rice, Ryo proceeded to sit in front of Kame who was simply sitting with an earphone plugged to his left ear.
5 minutes after digging into his rice bowl, Ryo felt a little out of place. Kame, it seems, is pointedly ignoring him by fiddling with his player. And Ryo just hates to be ignored.
"So..."
Kame looked up. He thought the other 2 had walked in, but there was only Ryo around still. And he was looking straight at Kame.
"Eh?"
Ryo cleared his throat again.
"I heard from Uchi that you guys ended late for the drama yesterday...How come you are so early then?"
Kame shrugged his shoulder. "Habit, I guess...Never hurts to be early anyway..."
"Yeah, right...You look as if you can use a few more hours of sleep..."
Kame looked down. What Ryo said was true. He hadn't had a proper good night's rest ever since filming for the drama started. Uchi and Tegoshi didn't have it so hard as Uchi is currently concentrating solely on the drama, while NEWS was just done with their concert, leaving Tegoshi free as well.
Coincidentally, last nioght too, the drama set's make-up artist was grumbling at Kame about his widening dark-circles and puffing under-eyebags.
"You are consuming my make-up supply like nobody's business, Kame-san!"
Kame had only smiled sheepishly in response. Being an idol, there was nothing he could do. Especially on days where schedules are so tight, he can hardly have his proper meals.
"I'll wake you up when they arrive. They won't be here till 9, I believe."
Kame looked at Ryo carefully.
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
It was Ryo's turn to shrug his shoulder. "I know how it feels to go through 3 days of a packed schedule without sleep. Kept falling sick that time. So I'll sleep whenever I can."
Kame leaned back. What they said about Ryo is true afterall. He IS the most hardworking of them all. Although he is frequently sleeping whenever Kame sees him for the sparse Johnny's events, he is doing more than what any of them are doing.
And he is still earlier than those 2 bestfriends...
"I'll go rest on the sofa then."
Ryo gave an imperceptible nod without looking at Kame. From the corner of his eye, he can see the younger guy lying down on the sofa. He flicked a glance at Kame and saw him staring at the ceiling. Then Ryo reverted his attention back to the remains of his natto pack.
"Ryo, have you ever lost a bestfriend before?" Kame's whisper came, out of a sudden.
Ryo looked up, his eyebrows raised in surprise. But the other guy was still staring at the ceiling, not looking in his direction. Faced with the sudden question, Ryo didn't have time to think through all the friends he has. Because only one face stood out against the rest in his memories.
"Never before, but I was close to losing him."
Silence ensued Ryo's small confession. Ryo looked up again and thought he saw Kame's eyes glistening with unshed tears. Those eyes flicked to Ryo, and in them, Ryo saw not the idol Kame had risen to be, but that small boy with weird eyebrows whom Ryo had first met years ago.
"I see." Kame answered, the shadow of a sad smile softening his sharp features. Ryo looked away, unable to withstand the pain and loneliness reflected in the younger guy's eyes.
The sofa creaked as Kame shifted and lie on his sides, turning away from the small Osakan. Ryo stared at the back that is now facing him, wondering what is it that prompted Kame to ask the question.
"You were lucky na, Ryo..." Kame's voice came again as a whisper, softer than before, as if drifting into sleep. Before long, Ryo could hear the soft snores coming from the younger guy.
Yes, Kame...I was lucky....
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"Ah sorry, minna-san. Apologise for my lateness." Jin came in, a little hurried. Pi had beat him to it afterall...Damn.
"You're late again, Jin." Pi chided his bestfriend. "Manager-san, if you don't mind, can you help wake Kame up?"
Jin raised his eyebrows at the sleeping figure on the sofa. How weird for Kame to sleep at the work place. But just as the manager was about to get up, Ryo stopped him.
"Let him sleep. We can start with the discussions of our individual songs first."
Jin narrowed his eyes at Ryo. Is he deliberately trying to exclude Kame out of the group discussions?! But before Jin could open his mouth to object, Pi had once again beat him to it.
"Seriously, Ryo. As much as you hate Kame, keeping him out of group discussions is gonna affect us all..."
"I do not...!" Ryo started vehemently, but another voice cut him off.
"Its ok. I'm awake. We can start the meeting."
All eyes shot to Kame who was seated on the sofa. Nobody had seen him got up. Not even a creak of the old sofa to warn them that he is awake. Jin flicked a glance at Pi and knew that his bestfriend is thinking of the same worried thought too.
Did he hear us?
But the most interesting reaction was Ryo's. He was red in the face and a looking a little worried while glaring at Pi.
...Worried...?
Jin felt confused. Ryo is never the type to get worried over his snide comments, even if the person mentioned heard it loud and clear. So now, for him to get worried over a statement that is a well-known fact even to Kame himself...
...What is happening?
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Seeing that nobody wishes to pursue the matter further, the manager-san began their meeting for individual song choices. Each were to take his own solo song to be included in the mini debut concert. If possible, the manager-san had said, take a song that best convey a portrayal of their ownselves as well as their emotions.
"So, let's start with Yamashita-san. Which solo will you choose?"
Pi's answer was immediate.
"Loveless."
Everyone nodded in agreement. It was a good marketing startegy, riding on the hit waves of his latest solo songs. It may even extend the marketing life of Pi's top solo song.
"Akanishi-san?"
Jin decided to follow Pi's strategy. "BandAge."
The manager-san's eyes screwed a little when he frowned at Jin's answer. "That is not possible na, Akanishi-san...Although you are the only vocal, that was still a collabo with LANDS...I don't think they'll allow..."
"It's okay, manager-san. If we can't get rights for that, then I'll just use same, old boring 'Care' again...Or should I use 'Love Juice'?"
"You still aren't very confident of your English, desho?" Pi interjected.
"That's you and 'Mola', idiot."
Pi threw a used tissue at Jin, who threw it back. Afraid that it might lengthen into a petty game, the manager-san cleared his throat and quickly move on to Ryo.
"Nishikido-san, what about you? Which group's solo do you want to use?"
Ryo frowned at the manager-san. He hates being torn between both groups simply because he loves both groups as much. But he has no special solo like Pi or Jin, so he have to choose, whether he likes it or not. Ryo gave Pi a questioning look.
Pi seemed to understand his friend's look of dilemma and considered the unvoiced question in his head.
"Having me should be enough to represent NEWS. Why don't you give Kanjani a little more publicity and represent them with your solo? Yoko will run after me if you choose a NEWS's solo anyway..."
Ryo smiled. Pi is forever the understanding leader who is always considerate and respectful of Ryo's delicate situation.
"I'll choose 'Half-Down' then?"
It was actually more of a statement than a question since Ryo knew Pi will give his approval.
The manager-san nodded, as if satisfied with the progress of the meeting so far. He started to ask Kame, but the young idol cut him off before he even asked.
"Kizuna."
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A stunned silence followed Kame's declaration for his solo song. Jin frowned.
"Don't you think that's a little too old?" he asked in a tensed voice.
Kame looked straight at Jin, his eyes not hiding the anger they contain.
"Why not? What have you got to do with my decision to sing that song, anyway? Its a song that reminds me of the bonds I had in the past, and even if I am not liked by anyone now, I'd like to reminisce the feel of having a bond with someone by singing that song."
Jin leaned back in his chair, his own eyes now flashing in anger at Kame's defiance. As if that is not enough, he felt the sting from Kame's retort dwindling down to hurt and guilt . And Jin hates himself for being so weak.
But it seems I'm not the only one...
Sitting beside Kame, Ryo was looking down on his lap. His face was a mixture of emotions. Of annoyance, guilt, frustration and...something else that Jin couldn't put his finger on. But he couldn't care less about Ryo's feelings right now. All he felt was the anger and hurt from Kame's comments, and every minute of being in Kame's presence is pissing him off further more.
"I think we are done for today." Pi said carefully, trying to ease the tension surrounding him. Only the manager-san nodded in agreement....or rather, in shock of the tension that had suddenly erupted from the guys seated around him. Excusing himself, the manager-san gathered his papers as quickly as possible before hurrying out of the room without a backward glance.
Pi returned his gaze to the 2 KAT-TUN members who are still caught up in their cold war.
"Let it go, guys. I think the longer we hang around, the worst things will get. Let's just chill off till tomorrow's meeting, yeah?"
"Yeah. You are right, Pi. I'm done being in the same room as him for today. I'm off."
Dragging his chair away from the table, Jin stood up and stalked out of the room. Pi glanced at Ryo.
"I'll try talking to him. You wanna come along?"
Ryo's face was a blank.
"I'll go off at my own pace."
Pi nodded and tried to make eye contact with Kame, but the younger guy never did look up from the floor he seem to be staring so hard at. Giving a little sigh, Pi left the room to go after Jin.
Left alone with Kame in the room, Ryo felt the other guy's tension crackling the very air. But the guilt has wholly consumed Ryo by now, and there is nothing more that he wish to do than apologise to Kame, weird as it may sound.
Knowing that he will have to fight his ego, Ryo took in a deep breathe, finding the words that he don't usually say.
"Kame...I'm...I'm sorry abou..."
"Why don't you stop being a hypocrite, Ryo?! Its alright to hate me, you know. I'm used to it!"
Ryo was stunned at Kame's words. His angry stare bore into Ryo's, the smirk on his lips challenging the smaller guy to agree.
But Ryo couldn't.
No doubt, 24 hours ago, Ryo would not waste a second even and land a punch on that arrogant face. But now, the hatred he had so vehemently felt before had deserted him, leaving only pity for Kame.
...Nobody should be feeling this lonely....
...Not even you, Kame...
Seeing the concern in Ryo's eyes, Kame's face turned to that of disgust. Standing up abruptly, he looked down on Ryo, a snarl forming on his lips.
"Don't you DARE take pity on me, Ryo. I don't need that kind of insult from a hypocrite like you."
Ryo felt his anger simmering. Nobody calls him a hypocrite twice in a row and gets away unbloodied. His fists were already clenched, but he shoved them into the pockets of his jacket and stared at the floor, trying to fight off the anger. It was clear that Kame was feeling bitter because of Pi's comments before the meeting.
Kame knew Ryo is holding himself back because of that guilt. Seeing the small Osakan staring at the floor with his emotionless face Kame's anger and frustrations felt as if they will snap him in two pieces. It was uncharacteristic of Ryo to not fight back, at the very least, with his sharp retorts.
Unable to take it any longer, Kame snatched his jacket and player from the sofa and stomped out of the room.
Ryo looked up and stared at the empty doorway. His face remains emotionless, without even the slightest frown to betray the turmoil beneath that mask. Because in truth, Ryo really couldn't make out the reason behind the strange turmoil that was raging through him at that moment. True, he felt guilty and pitiful towards Kame. He even felt the anger seeping back into him as Kame's insults bounced from one corner to another corner in his head.
But there was also this indescribable feeling that is beginning to overpower all the other feelings. A feeling that leaves Ryo a little confused and frustrated.
Breaking his gaze away from the empty doorway, Ryo looked at his inter-twined fingers.
Kizuna.
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Author's Notes: For those of you who have no idea, here is a translation of Kizuna that I like...Hope it'll help you understand the story better...And I hope you enjoyed reading my fic...Till the next chapter, XD