Fic: Drive

Apr 22, 2013 10:06

Written for: 10iloveyou
Prompt: 01. Always
Word Count: 1,535
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Alex doesn't want to go home.


As the car drove out the graveyard, the concrete-coloured sky gave into the threat it had held throughout the service. Alexis watched the rain streak down the passenger window, blurring her view of the world beyond. The change in weather stole what little warmth there was and she shivered in her seat.

James leant forward and turned the temperature dial up. She gave him a thankful smile, but didn’t break the silence that had fallen since he’d offered her a lift home. It didn’t feel right to when grief weighed heavy in the air. Not when guilt caused that taut line of his mouth. Alex dropped her head back against the rest and watched the rain.

She didn’t want to go home. Her flat would be too quiet, too empty. Being alone right now didn’t appeal in the slightest. She could have gone with the others, to deal with whatever the new anomaly had spat out, but with recent events being what they were, she wanted to spend as much time with James as she could carve out, even was just a drive as short as the one to her house.

But he didn’t take the turning on to her estate. She watched it dwindle in the door mirror, her relief mixing with uncertainty. She looked over at him. He gave her a small, crooked smile and took an opposite turn at the next junction - on to the slip road up to the motorway, the engine rumbling louder as the Mercedes picked up speed.

She knew immediately, though it had been a long time since they’d last done this. That he had chosen now to recreate that past both gave her a measure of comfort and a sense of nostalgia. She’d missed this more than she’d realised.

James switched on the radio, filling the silence with country music; another throwback to the past that made the memories sharper and Alex smile. She laid a hand over his grip of the gear knob. The lost years and the distance between them vanished as his fingers linked with hers.

The swipe of the windscreen wipers kept time with the music, while the wet hum of the tyres was a low, bass note. Her view out of the window was the greasy smear of the grass verge and the monotonous line dividing first line from the hard shoulder. After the emotional wrench of the day, the combined effect made her eyelids droop.

Alex pinched herself awake, not wanting to lose even a second to sleep. She tugged her hand free from James’s and turned the heat down. Her yawn was enough of an answer to his questioning look. He grinned in response and turned the music up.

However, the break didn’t have a lasting effect, and her head soon felt heavy again. Her memories surged, snatches of moments that made her smile, past merging with the present until she almost believed she was just living a pleasant dream.

It was too easy to let her mind drift in the fantasy that she was back then, before harsh things were said and a terrible decision was made. She missed the closeness they’d once had, the slight weight of the ring on her finger, the look that would darken his eyes a moment before he kissed her. She wanted all that back and pretending she had it lessened the ache in her chest. Her eyes closed of their own accord, memories of happier times painting themselves on the lids.

The change of engine note jarred her before sleep had fully claimed her. She sat straighter and rubbed at her neck. James had pulled off the motorway and was now navigating a main road that seemed vaguely familiar to her, though her brain refused to co-operate. She was just too tired to think properly.

She could ask him, but it had been the unwritten rule that she didn’t, even on the rare occasions he’d actually had a destination in mind. Her trust in him hadn’t changed over the years, so she watched the shops and houses pass by, and tried to remember why she almost remembered this place.

The Mercedes slowed for a red light. Between the buildings Alex could see an orange glow: sunset. They were headed west. She frowned, the facts taunting her with fragments of a picture that wasn’t quite coming together in her mind. She glanced at James, but the only hint there was the small smile on his face.

As the houses began to thin as they drove out of the town, memory slammed into place. Her heart turned over in her chest and an odd lump formed in her throat. She should have recognised where they were sooner, but the last time they’d been here it had been a bright summer’s day; very different to the darkening, rainy autumn evening.

Still as the car got onto the country road and James put his foot down, a warmth thrill of excitement gripped Alex. The fields they passed were bare, stripped of the golden harvest she could remember so clearly now. A brown road sign whipped past her window, gone before she read it.

James slowed once more. The rain was a thin patter, eased off enough that she dared to put her window down a little. The air smells of wet grass and moist soil, but then a breeze came across their past and Alex caught the familiar tang of brine.

A left turn put the car onto a narrow track of gravel, which wound between the fields, past huge oak trees and through a gateway. At such a late hour, the car park was empty bar the Ranger’s four-by-four. James pulled into a space and then killed the Mercedes’ engine. The radio cut off halfway through Willie Nelson’s Always On My Mind.

Alex got out, careless as to the drizzle that dampened her hair. The smell of the sea enveloped her, taking her back in time and yet she was very aware of the present, of what had happened between then and now. She watched James get out and then lock the car. His gaze met hers across the roof.

“Shall we?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

She took his hand and they walked the path along the cliff top. The cloud on the horizon broke, flooding the scenery with golden light. Seagulls cawed overhead; a hollow, lonely sort of sound that drew her closer to him. He pulled his hand free and then looped his arm around her shoulders, a casual motion that almost broke her heart.

“James,” she said, and he stopped, looked down at her. There was so much she needed to say, yet there just weren’t enough words in her vocabulary. He gave her that half smile, the dying light turning his eyes palest grey. Emotion swamped Alex and only three words mattered. “I love you.”

His gaze shifted from her face and he sighed. “I know.”

Her heart quailed, but there had to be a reason he’d driven here of all places. She stepped closer and smoothed her hands over his shirt. The heat of his skin permeated through the cotton and she could feel the beat of his heart against her palm.

“I don’t-” She caught herself, then shook off the cobwebs of the past. “Let’s not discuss all the things we can’t undo,” she begged. “I can’t apologise any more, James. You can either forgive me or you can’t, but you drove us here. I hope that means you can.”

“It means I have.” He met her desperate gaze again and his smile was truer, warming her heart. “How could I not, when I still love you so much?”

Joy filled Alex, and she threw her arms around his neck, hiding the sudden tears against the soft wool of his jacket. His hands settled on the small of her back, drawing her closer, then one curved under her chin and tilted her head upwards.

His lips touched hers, a butterfly kiss that was nowhere near enough for her. She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him down harder. He chuckled into her mouth, then followed that with his tongue. Bittersweet heat bloomed down the length of her spine; agony that this had taken so long, joy that it had finally happened, and a touch of guilt that it had taken Stephen’s death to push them back together.

They broke apart, both breathless. Alex laughed at James’s devilish grin. The tendrils of heat worming through her body sparked electric, making her breasts and groin tingle. His hand slid down her arm and curved around her hand. He stepped back and turned, leading her down the path, where it cut down the side of the cliff to the long, sweeping beach.

Where he’d once asked her a question she’d been more than happy to say yes to, and where they’d sealed the promise of their union on the soft sand, her cries of pleasure mingling with the call of the seagulls.

As the sun slid from view and the clearing clouds revealed the starry sky, Alex and James repeated the past, reordered time and reset the future.

pairing: alexis edwards/james lester, fanfic: primeval

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