If Wishes Were Horses 2/2
Title: If Wishes Were Horses
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Gwen, Owen, Ianto, Tosh, OCs. Canon pairings.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mentions of sex, mature language, really really bad puns, ridiculousness.
Summary: A little girl makes a friend, who can create everything she's ever wanted. She wants cartoons. The rest of Cardiff isn't very happy about this. Torchwood to the rescue! ...if they can just figure out how to work around their unfortunate transformations.
Part 1
The way to the supposed 'source' was made difficult. It seemed that every one of the strange creatures had been gathered near to the tornado, and now were trying very hard to get away from it. In addition, the entire populous of Cardiff had gravitated to the commotion, and, already in a tizzy from the sudden transformations most of them had undergone, they were panicking, screaming, running everywhere, and fighting, as frightened humans were prone to do, never mind that many of them no longer resembled said species.
The four ponies did their best to maneuver through the crowd.
"I miss the SUV," Ianto said.
"Well you're welcome to go back, get the keys, and attempt to get it working with only hooves and your mouth," Gwen said.
"You'd be surprised what I can do with my mouth," Ianto said.
"Jack's not here, Ianto," Owen said flatly.
"Right, sorry. Instinct."
"Just hang on, we must be getting close by now," Toshiko said. "If the amount of chaos is anything to measure by."
"Should I go have another look?"
"We're liable to lose you in the swarm," Ianto pointed out, glancing up at the sky, filled with flying monkeys and fairies and other winged things.
"Right," Gwen said with a sigh. She flinched as she narrowly avoided crashing into a large purple bird speeding through the streets. "Because it's so much better down here."
"At least we can all keep an eye on each other," he said. "We don't want to lose anyone else."
They did their best to hunch together, but it was difficult to push through the crowd. Owen in particular was doing his best to avoid being trod upon, as he was certain he did not want to find out what an injury to his dead-ish pony body would translate to on his dead-ish human one. Gwen was the opposite, walking too quickly and doubling back when she realized she'd gotten separated again, dodging around the various bodies with relative ease, thanks to her experience in crowd control. Tosh and Ianto did their best to mediate the pace, but it didn't really work until Toshiko grew fed up with both of them and grabbed hold of Gwen's tail in her teeth, instructing the boys to do the same.
And so a daisy chain of undersized, Technicolor ponies zigzagged its way through the crowd across the streets of Cardiff.
As they walked, Gwen's ominous magical tornado became visible over the rooftops. Much to their relief, the crowd seemed to be thinning as well, and their pace picked up to a light trot. Gwen led the way with confidence, not really noticing as the other three strained to keep up, dragged behind by the train of tails.
She tugged them around the corner and was forced to slow down rather abruptly; the crowd was suddenly thick again, and unmoving. A veritable wall of people and creatures blocked their way just up ahead, stopped by the remarkably mundane presence of a line of caution tape and some police vehicles.
The police themselves had their hands full working the crowd. A gorilla in uniform was shouting through a megaphone for everyone to keep calm and exit the area, and a couple of policewomen with butterfly wings were firmly turning the bottleneckers away from the area.
The throng wasn't making any effort to leave, but it seemed content to stay behind the barrier for the most part. The Torchwood ponies were the only ones still pushing forwards, trying to find a way through the throng. The gorilla shouted at them, his voice garbled from the megaphone.
When they didn't stop, more voices joined in, repeating the message; please stay behind the police line, remain calm.
Gwen's ears perked up. She leapt into the air with a grin and hovered above the heads of the rabble, looking for the source of the voice.
"Andy!" she shouted delightedly, swooping down to stand next to him.
Andy jumped in alarm, nearly dropping his car radio as he ducked out of the window he'd been leaning in. "Gwen?"
They stared at each other. Gwen snorted.
"Hey Andy," she said. "You mind making way for Torchwood?"
"Er," Andy said, still gaping down at the little blue pegasus that used to be one of his best friends. "Yeah, I guess."
He sighed and pulled his hat off. "Is this mess one of yours, then?"
"We didn't cause it, Andy," Gwen said crossly. "But we are working to fix it, and we need to get through here if we want to get to the bottom of things."
"Something to do with that tornado-thing then?"
"Probably," Gwen said. "By the way, you haven't seen a unicorn with a T on his arse come through here, did you?"
"Erm," said Andy, looking around at the crowd. "I don't think so. Well, that one's got a tea on his behind, but I wouldn't call it a unicorn."
Gwen looked where he was pointing; Ianto was looking worriedly on as Owen examined the bottom of Tosh's chin, which had been scraped on the pavement when Gwen's tail was suddenly yanked out from between her teeth, knocking her over.
"Oh, no," she said, a little guiltily. "Ianto's got coffee, most likely. Jack has an actual letter T. And he's a sort of blue-grey."
Andy took a moment to process that before bursting out in laughter. "You're all turned into horsies then? Oh that's rich, the great and powerful Torchwood. Unicorns and ponies!"
Gwen fluttered her wings in irritation. "Yeah, well, at least I'm not a bear."
Andy's ears flattened, but he shrugged. "Least it's not a Care Bear. And I still have hands."
"Touché," said Gwen. "But I can do this."
She launched into the air again, doing an impromptu flip before landing back with the team.
"Show-off," Owen accused. "What'd you take off for, Tosh could've bit through her tongue with a fall like that."
"I'm so sorry Tosh," Gwen said, sheepishly hunkering down into her wings. "I wasn't thinking. But I thought I heard Andy, and he said he'll clear the way for us to go through."
She gestured up towards the barricade, where Andy was pushing the crowd aside with his big paws.
"Well," Ianto said. "That's… that's something."
Owen just scoffed and pushed past them towards the newly formed path. "Well that's a relief. I'm sick of having my mouth full of tail, and I've definitely had enough of staring at Ianto's arse."
Ianto snorted. "You're just jealous."
"We all know Owen's always been a horse's arse though," Tosh said, following them. "Thank you, Andy," she added to the bear, who was politely holding up the caution tape.
"Yeah, right. Just get all this sorted quick, all right?"
Owen smirked in response. "No problem, PC Pooh Bear. Just keep the way clear for us professionals, would you?"
Andy scowled at him, showing off his sharp teeth. "Just hurry up, would you?"
To Gwen, he added, "I'll keep an eye out for that captain of yours."
"Thanks, Andy," she said, lifting into the air again. "Though knowing him, he's probably already right in the middle of everything."
~~
Jack didn't notice at first when the tug on his horn had stopped, so by the time he had stopped running, he found himself right in the middle of everything.
'Everything' was, in this case, a hoard of very angry, very strange looking creatures. They all shared the permanent scowl, the very sharp teeth, and the constant incoherent howling and growling and snarling; aside from that, they were all over the map. One of them had feathery wings and talons, and couldn't seem to stop itself flapping into walls every time it tried to move; another had a horse's body, not altogether unlike Jack's own, though from the horse's shoulders up was a more or less humanoid body, towering over Jack's head with the combined height of the two torsos; still others were half snake, had eight legs or fins or pointy ears - one even had sparkly butterfly wings, which left behind silvery sparkles as the creature lunged for Jack's throat with its partly transfigured claws.
Honestly, if they hadn't all been wearing the remains of boiler suits, Jack hardly would have recognized them as weevils at all.
"Shit!" Jack declared as the fairy princess weevil grazed his chest with its claws.
"Shit!" he added, suddenly distracted by the harpy weevil crashing into his back half with a screech.
He bucked angrily, rising onto his front legs and lashing out as hard as he could with the back pair. The fairy weevil lunged again and he ducked his head, managing to stab it in the shoulder with his horn by pure luck.
It fell back, wailing, and Jack felt fleetingly sorry for it, transformed by whatever it was afflicting all of Cardiff and utterly unable to understand what was going on, but then the centaur weevil charged. Jack reared up by some unfortunate instinct, and the weevil caught his hooves on the way down, pushing him backwards and making him overbalance.
Jack found himself on his back, winded, staring at a pair of black hooves coming down very quickly towards his face. He moved without thinking, rolling over as the hooves came crashing down onto the cement.
He stumbled but managed onto his own hooves. He tossed his head and glared at the gathering of ex-weevils, backing up slowly. The weevils stared back, growling and baring their teeth as they advanced towards him.
Jack stopped when his hind legs hit the wall. The weevils did not.
"Shit," he said yet again, not really able to come up with anything else to say. He wondered what it would be like, dying as a pony. Most likely just as painful. Would he heal human, or still be stuck unicorn? Maybe some weird hybrid.
He wasn't planning on finding out if he didn't have to, though. He crouched, tensing his back legs in preparation and ducking his head so his sharp horn faced the approaching threat.
Jack's eyes rolled up to stare at the weevils. He pawed the ground with his front hoof, waiting impatiently for an opening.
The centaur lunged.
Jack charged.
The weevils fell apart with a cacophony of screeches - he felt the horse-body impact his own, making his shoulder ache with every step, but Jack kept running. Something went crunch under his hooves, and suddenly there was something disgusting that looked possibly like snake guts trailing behind him. Eyes fixed on the path ahead, Jack could only guess the aliens' distance behind him by the fading sounds of growling and wailing, half blocked by his own hoof beats.
Jack skidded around a corner, back onto a main road. Out of the alley, it was easier to run, though his hooves began to ache. The sounds of pursuit faded gradually behind him.
He tossed his head back and laughed in adrenaline-fueled relief. With a grin, he slowed to a trot, taking a quick glance over his shoulder to see where the weevils were. He caught a glimpse of the feathery one fumbling through the air back into the alley - thankfully, they preferred to stay out of the sunlight when possible, and the bespectacled star was still more or less unhindered by the candyfloss clouds.
Jack smiled and turned back ahead, trying to get his bearings. While being dragged along by his own forehead, he'd seen what looked a bit like a ship, albeit one drawn by winged kittens, but he'd lost sight of it after charging into the den of weevils. Now, it couldn't be found, and his horn had stopped its tugging, and he was left with little idea where to go. The team was… who knows where, and the streets were empty.
His hooves ached, he thought, as the excitement from the chase wore off. He wondered if it was from a lack of horseshoes. Were there any blacksmiths in Cardiff? There must be some somewhere in Wales, what with all the empty farmland and -
His hooves clattered as he slipped, and he barely managed to catch himself when he lost his balance.
Lost in thought about horseshoes and blacksmithery and his team and getting lost, Jack hadn't noticed as the sky darkened, or the way the wind picked up, or even the strange golden sparks in the air above him.
He still didn't notice those things, only vaguely hearing in his mind Sparkle's telepathic cries of Help, oh no, what do I do, help, no no no no no no malfunction malfunction.
Instead he stared at the puddle of blood at his hooves, and the broken figure of a little girl in a yellow raincoat sprawled on the ground, taking shallow, gurgling breaths half filled with her own blood.
"Mummy," he heard, "Daddy, where are you? Sparkle, it hurts!"
She coughed, spitting out more blood onto the pavement, grasping the wound in her stomach the weevil had ripped open.
Elizabeth no no no I have to find them malfunction hang on Elizabeth find a policeman oh no oh no help help malfunction!
"Shit," said Jack.
~~
Beyond the police barrier, it was much easier going, in terms of crowds; the streets were empty as they galloped through. Unfortunately, this close to the tornado, the winds were strong enough to push them backwards if they weren't careful.
Still, they charged forwards. Ianto took the lead, his slightly stockier build lending him some stability; Gwen huddled behind him, seeking cover from being constantly buffeted to the side by the harsh winds. Toshiko and Owen brought up the rear, stumbling as they fought to keep up.
"Any sign of Jack?" Tosh shouted.
"Not yet!" Ianto called back as he braced himself against the wind. "Bet he's right at the heart of that thing," he added, jerking his head towards the twister looming just ahead of them. It was stationary, which was unusual for tornados; a whirling vortex of wind and debris that remained perfectly in place in the street.
Help help stop no police police mummydaddy help!
"Did you lot hear that?" asked Gwen.
"I can barely hear myself," Owen shouted over the wind.
"I heard it," Tosh said. "Only it wasn't really a sound, just a voice - "
"A voice without a sound, that makes perfect sense."
"Shut up, Owen, if you would just listen - "
No no no stop! STOP! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!
There was a flash of golden light from the tornado, and it grew suddenly in diameter, reaching out for the four ponies and knocking them from their feet into the wall of one of the buildings lining the street.
Gwen yelped, crashing into the wall sideways. Ianto plowed into her, and Tosh into him. Owen winced as he heard a crack! at his impact, inwardly hoping it was one of the others and not yet another fracture of his own.
Stay away from her! Help, police, malfunction - keep away, I said!
"Who?!" Ianto shouted at the air, untangling himself from the girls with a groan. "Stay away from who?"
Oh no oh no oh no oh no, the voice said, Oh no, Elizabeth, I'm so sorry, I'll find them, help, police, I need a policeman policeman policeman!
"She's a policeman!" Owen shouted, gesturing at Gwen.
There was a pause from the voice. Gwen glared at Owen. The wind died down a little bit, though the tornado kept up its stationary spin.
Policeman?
"She is," Ianto confirmed. "She's with the police, we - we all are, we can help you."
Help me, repeated the voice. Help me, help Elizabeth, she's hurt, the game went wrong, malfunction mal - I have to find her parents, help her, help Elizabeth!
Gwen took a steadying breath. "We can help you," she said. "Just calm down and tell me what the problem is."
The wind weakened.
She's hurt, said the voice. We were playing. We were looking for her mum and dad. I can't find them. I don't know what I'm looking for. I can't remember what to do.
Golden sparks flitted out from the dwindling tornado. They gathered in front of Gwen and flickered uncertainly. She said to find police, police can find her dad, they know what to do.
Gwen glanced back at the team in mild panic. They gestured for her to go on. She swallowed. "Well, what… do you know her last name? Or her parents' names? I'm sure we can contact them, we just have to find their information…"
I don't know anything! the sparks wailed. We were just playing, she told me stories, and we acted it out, and we were having fun, but there were these monsters! Scary monsters, I don't like monsters, I never make monsters, monsters monsters no get away don't touch her, leave her alone!
Gwen took an alarmed step back as the sparks flared with emotion. "Listen," she said again, "Let us help you, if you can just take us to Elizabeth - "
NO! the sparks screamed. The tornado suddenly picked up again, full force. No no no, monsters, get away from her, don't you hurt her!
The sparks rose into the air, flashing nearly white and speeding off into the sky.
"Monsters?" Toshiko said. "What kind of monsters?"
"Hang on, I'll go after it!" Gwen said, preparing for liftoff. She leapt, but her flight was cut short by a screeching mass of feathers careening into her. Gwen screamed, kicking the creature's belly with her hind legs as hard as she could; the feathery weevil screamed back, grabbing for her with hands it no longer possessed and trying to bite her as they tumbled to the ground together.
"Gwen!" Ianto shouted, running forwards to help her. He was blocked by another transformed weevil that vaulted onto his back, burying its sharp teeth in his shoulder. He roared in pain, bucking and rearing in an attempt to shake the creature off, but the fluttering purple butterfly wings gave it stability, and it refused to let go.
Ianto threw himself sideways into a wall; he caught a glimpse of Tosh as she ducked a monstrous centaur's sharp hooves, Owen backing away from a clacking, snarling facsimile of a spider. The weevil went crunch against the wall, and one of its wings fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.
He stumbled to his feet as quickly as he could, leaving the weevil howling on the ground. Disoriented, he charged in a crooked path towards Gwen, determined to help her.
She detached herself from the weevil, shaking her head and stumbling to the side in the wind, but it just screeched and jumped back into the air, diving straight for her. Ianto ran for them, as fast as he could, but they were too far away to catch, it was going to grab her again -
A gray blur bowled into the weevil with a thunder of hooves, knocking it to the ground and away from Gwen.
Ianto slowed to a stop, staring. Jack tugged his horn out of the weevil's side, ignoring the alien's cries of pain. He grinned over at Ianto.
"Alright there, kids?" he shouted, sparing a glance at Gwen, too, before he charged back towards Tosh and Owen. He plowed into the centaur with his shoulder, and Tosh kicked its face in with her hind leg. As it stumbled, he continued over to Owen, trampling over the spider-weevil with a flourish. "Or should I say foals?"
He stepped easily off the partially squashed weevil, which dragged itself away with its remaining four limbs. The feathered one followed with an uneven gait, limping as fast as it could and snarling. The weevil Ianto had tackled just groaned from its position on the ground, leaving the centaur to face the group.
It growled menacingly, but faced with five angry ponies, it backed away. Jack snorted and bent his neck, glaring it down as he stamped the ground. Ianto copied his pose, and Gwen went around the side to block its escape. Tosh scraped her back foot on the cement, staring unwaveringly at the weevil. It bolted with one last roar at her, after its companions back the way they'd come.
Jack straightened up with a grin. "No point having a horn if you don't use it," he said cheerily to Owen.
Owen glanced with thinly veiled disgust at Jack's forehead; the horn and surrounding mane were both dripping with weevil blood. "Yeah, not interested in ruining every little girl's childhood there, thanks."
He blinked in surprise at that, and looked down at the gore on his hooves as if he'd just noticed it.
"Jack, is any of that blood yours?" Ianto asked as he approached.
Jack glanced at his coat; his chest was spattered with flecks of red and brown and black. Gwen was more mesmerized by the smear of red on his cheek and muzzle.
"No," he said, "I don't think so. Just weevil and… someone else. What about you, that bite looks pretty bad."
Ianto shrugged. "Doesn't hurt that much. I can manage."
"Gwen?"
"Fine, thanks. You had good timing."
"As always," Jack said with a smirk.
"Those weevils are heading back over to the police line," Toshiko said.
They all looked.
"Damn," said Jack. "You three, go after them, quick as you can; make sure nobody else has to get killed tonight. Gwen, you're with me, I need you to fly after Sparkle."
Tosh and Ianto needed no more encouragement; they galloped after the pack of aliens, both shaking off their injuries within the first few steps.
"Sparkle is that alien thing that was shouting about police then?" Gwen said, already starting after it.
"It's actually an AI," said Jack, "A kind of babysitting entertainment system, it alters the surrounding environment to create an exciting experience for the user. Only this one's been damaged, its limiter's broken, and now it's panicking, so it's turned on its defense mode, so we have to hurry up and get it calmed down so it can reverse all of this."
"Jack," Owen interrupted.
Jack started. "I thought you went with Tosh and Ianto."
Owen shrugged. "I can't keep up with them," he said. "I'll catch up later."
Jack frowned, but nodded. "Fine. Stay here for now, keep an eye out for the AI and any more transformed aliens, let us know if you find anything, come on Gwen - "
"Jack," Owen said again. "Whose blood is that?"
Jack stopped in his tracks. Gwen was already in the air, flying a cautious perimeter around the tornado, searching for a sign of the golden sparks.
"And you said 'nobody else has to get killed tonight,'" Owen continued. "Who got killed? Is that why the AI's panicking? It said something about an Elizabeth."
Jack sighed. He jerked his head to the left, gesturing to the tornado itself. "In there," he said, "There's a little girl. One of the weevils got to her. Slashed her chest and throat. She's bleeding to death; I tried to help, but she's too far gone. The AI knocked me away and wouldn't let me near her, that's what the tornado is protecting."
He glanced back at Owen over his shoulder before trotting to catch up with Gwen. "There's nothing we can do about it; go after Tosh and Ianto and put a stop to those weevils before they hurt someone."
Owen just watched him go.
~~
Gwen found it easier to fly than to walk. The winds that had been such a hindrance on the ground lifted her easily into the air, and she gained elevation in no time, higher than she'd ever gone before.
Easier didn't mean easy, though. Debris flew at her from all directions, and it took all her concentration to avoid being hit. The wind pushed her firmly in circles around the tornado, and turning around was obviously not going to happen. She pushed out of her mind thoughts of how she was going to get down again as she circled higher and higher, squinting against the wind as she searched frantically for any sign of gold.
"Hello?" she shouted. "Sparkle? Hello?!"
There was no answer except the howling wind.
"You wanted me to help you!" she shouted. "I'm police, just talk to me, let me help!"
"Gwen!"
Gwen looked down to see Jack shouting at her from a rooftop. With some effort she managed to point herself down, spreading her wings out to lower her speed.
"Any luck?"
"Not yet," she said. She dropped heavily onto the roof, panting. "What is it with you and rooftops?"
"Seems logical when your teammate's decided the only way to travel is by air," said Jack. "I had to take the stairs. Let me tell you, stairs and hooves do not mix."
"Well you did tell me to!" Gwen laughed. "What did Owen want?"
"Oh just… doctor stuff."
"Jack."
"He asked about Elizabeth."
"Right, and who is Elizabeth?"
"That would be the little girl that Sparkle the alien AI got attached to who got mauled by a weevil."
"And that's why it's freaking out and attacking us with tornadoes."
"That's about it, yup."
Gwen sighed. "Is there anything we can do?""
"Our best bet is getting Sparkle here to calm down," said Jack. "It's going to be difficult without the girl, but we have to manage. It's the only thing that's going to reverse all of, well, this." He raised a hoof and shrugged.
Gwen huffed, blowing her mane out of her face. "Right."
"Right. So, let's find Sparkle."
"How?"
Jack thought about it.
"HEY, SPARKLE!" he shouted.
"Right, because I didn't try that already," Gwen muttered, rubbing her ear with a hoof. She turned back to the edge of the roof, looking up at the top of the tornado. "Sparkle, let us help you!"
Go away, said a quiet voice. Leave me alone.
Jack raised his eyebrows at Gwen. "Sparkle?" he said. "Sparkle, we want to talk to you."
I don't know what to do. I am damaged. I do not know what to do.
"Listen, Sparkle," Gwen said. "You wanted my help. Well I'm here, you have to let me help you."
Who are you?
"My name is Gwen. I'm with the police. You wanted the police, didn't you?"
Elizabeth said to find a policeman. Policemen help you when you're lost.
"Are you lost?" Jack asked.
Elizabeth is lost, said Sparkle. She cannot find her parents.
The voice paused.
I am also lost, the AI admitted.
Jack stepped forward. Gwen admired his ability to make eye contact with something hidden inside a whirling tornado. "We can help you," he said. "We can get you repaired, help you get home."
What about Elizabeth?
Jack frowned. "Elizabeth… Sparkle, Elizabeth is -"
"I can go look for her parents," Gwen interjected. "I'm sure they're out looking for her. I'll find them and bring them back to her."
"Gwen."
"Shut up, Jack, I can find them."
Golden flickers emerged from the air. You… can find them? You can take me home?
Gwen looked earnestly at the sparks. "I promise, we'll do everything we can. But first you have to stop this wind. Okay?"
….Okay.
The wind slowly began to die down, and the tight spiral of the tornado unwound. There were distant thumps from the ground as the debris dropped.
"Thank you," said Gwen. "Just stay here with my friend Jack, all right, Sparkle? I'm going to go look for Elizabeth's parents. You just stay put and talk with Jack."
All right.
Gwen walked to the edge of the roof and hunkered down in preparation for flight.
Gwen, said Sparkle.
She stopped and looked over her shoulder at the sparks.
Thank you.
Gwen smiled and nodded, then flapped her wings and took off.
~~
"It hurts," she whispered. "I want my daddy."
"I know you do, sweetheart."
Elizabeth jerked in surprise and turned towards the sound. She tried to open her eyes, but saw only blurred shapes.
"I'm cold," she choked.
"Yeah, I know," said the voice, and something bent down over her, nuzzling her chest. It wasn't warm, but it was soft, and it was the first comfort she'd had since Sparkle had disappeared. After that there had been only the ground and her own sobbing and a constant roaring in her ears. Now it was quiet. She reached up and put her arms around the creature's neck, pulling it close and burying her face in the fur.
"Just hold on, sweetheart," the voice said, vibrating against her face.
Elizabeth relaxed, falling into unconsciousness in just a couple seconds. Her sticky hands slipped to the ground, leaving bloody red smears in gray fur. The last thing she heard was the voice, muttering to itself.
"I hope this bloody works."
~~
Tosh and Ianto were on their way back towards Jack, having locked the weevils in one of the abandoned buildings. It hadn't been exactly easy - herding the aliens was simple enough, but locking the doors had proved fruitless, despite Ianto's earlier claims of dexterity without hands. They'd wound up just pushing things in front of the doors.
They were trotting back when Gwen suddenly sped past them, overhead.
They glanced at each other and ran after her.
"Gwen!" Ianto shouted.
She backpedaled in midair, turning around to hover just above normal eyelevel.
"You got the weevils?"
"Yeah," he said. "What's going on?"
She explained, quickly, about Sparkle and Elizabeth. "I'm going to look for her parents," she said. "I'll ask Andy to get the police on it, and I'll take a look myself. Care to help?"
"There are dozens of people out there," Tosh said. "You'll never find them just looking around."
"Worth a shot," Gwen said. "I have to try."
Ianto nodded in agreement. "We'll help you."
He and Toshiko jogged after her, back towards the police line. The crowd was still there, gathered right at the police tape and shouting at the officers angrily. Frankenstein's monster and an anthropomorphic rabbit seemed particularly incensed; they probably would have run through and been overturning patrol cars if Andy and his gorilla partner didn't make such an intimidating presence.
"Andy!" Gwen shouted, coming in for landing.
"Good God, Gwen!" said Andy, turning away from the crowd. "What the hell happened?"
He stared at the still oozing bite wound on Ianto's shoulder. Gwen ignored the question.
"We need to find a little girl's parents. Can we use your megaphone? They might be in the crowd somewhere. If they're not, we need you to contact the rest of the police and get a search out. It's important."
The gorilla looked like he was going to argue, but Andy grabbed the megaphone and held it out to her.
Gwen moved to grab it before stopping in confusion.
"Er," she said. "I may need you to hold it for me."
Andy held the microphone to her mouth, raising the horn above his head so everyone could hear.
"Excuse me everybody," boomed Gwen's voice over the area. "Sorry for the inconvenience, we hope to have this sorted out as soon as possible. Is there anybody here who's been separated from a little girl named Elizabeth? Again, we're looking for the parents of a lost girl named Elizabeth."
"No last name?" Andy asked.
"Our source didn't seem to know it," Ianto said.
The crowd just kept up its roar of dissatisfaction, pressing against the blockade angrily. They weren't happy about being turned into cartoon characters in the first place, and the police's apparent lack of priorities just made things worse.
Ianto sighed. To keep looking for Elizabeth's parents, they'd have to make their way back through that mess. He broke away from the police and his teammates, already looking for an opening.
"Wait!" said a voice from somewhere in the crowd. An arm rose up from the mass of heads, waving frantically. "Wait, that's my daughter! Elizabeth, I'm her father, please, wait, let me through!"
Ianto ducked his head and pushed into the throng, shoving people aside.
"Out of the way!" he shouted. "Let him through!"
He pushed his way through, meeting the man somewhere in the middle.
"You're Elizabeth's father?" he asked.
"Yes, thank God," said the man, apparently unphased by asking for the assistance of a talking pony. "She went missing this morning, just before all this happened. Is she all right? Where's my Lizzy?"
Ianto looked up at the man - he was fairly average looking, particularly amongst the multitude of mythical creatures and cartoons; tall, with dark hair and glasses. He was, however, wearing a long red cape and had a large letter "D" embroidered on his form-fitting shirt.
He smiled a little at that. "Please, sir, come with me. We've found your daughter, but… she's not doing so well. She's been looking for you, and we'd like to get you back to her as soon as possible."
The man went pale, but nodded. "Yes, thank you, please, take me to my daughter."
The two of them slipped under the police line, and were quickly joined by Gwen and Toshiko. Gwen managed to convince Andy to stay with the crowd, much to his displeasure, and she led the way back to Jack and Sparkle.
Elizabeth's father stared at the damage caused by the tornado. His eyes stuck on the crippled fairy-weevil Ianto had crushed, and traveled down the track of bloody hoof prints beside them.
He looked up at the sound of another set of hooves. Jack was trotting towards them, his mane haloed by Sparkle's luminescence. The effect was somewhat ruined by the weevil blood on his hooves and head, however.
"Good job everybody!" Jack said. "Sparkle, as you can see, Gwen kept her part of the bargain."
Sparkle flickered, and the sparks gathered in the air before the man's face. You are… Elizabeth's father?
"Yes," he choked. "Yes, please, where's my little girl?"
Sparkle glowed. She told me to get a policeman. She said a policeman could find her parents. She was right!
"Please, where is she?"
The AI flickered and dimmed. Elizabeth. She - I - malfunction, I am damaged, I didn't know what to do.
"Wh- what?"
"Sir," Jack said, stepping forwards, "I'm afraid Elizabeth… she was attacked."
He went pale. "Attacked?"
Elizabeth, Sparkle whimpered. No no no no no malfunction I I I I
The wind started to pick up again.
"Sparkle, stop, there was nothing you can do," said Gwen urgently. "Elizabeth wouldn't want you to do this -"
"What happened to my daughter?" Elizabeth's father demanded. "Where is she?!"
"Sir," said Jack again, "I'm afraid Elizabeth - "
" - is perfectly fine," said another voice. "No thanks to you lot."
Owen came limping up to the group, a little girl in a yellow-red raincoat draped over his back.
"Elizabeth!"
Elizabeth stirred, tightening her grip on Owen's neck. She looked up, blearily. "Daddy?"
Owen knelt awkwardly, letting her clamber off his back and run into her father's arms.
"Oh my god!" he shouted at the red stained gash in her coat and shirt. "What happened? Is that blood?"
Jack sidestepped the reunited family to get over to Owen. The others joined him, staring at the blood covered little girl and the complete lack of fatal wound.
"Owen," said Jack, "That little girl was attacked by a weevil. She had a gaping hole in her chest. I could have sworn she was dead."
Owen just stared at him loftily. "I'm a magic sparkly unicorn with a syringe tattooed on my arse. Obviously I have magical healing powers."
Elizabeth struggled away from her father to run back up to Owen. She slung her arms back around his neck, tugging him down in a hug.
"Thank you, horsie!" she said. She grinned, pushing away and looking up at the gold glimmer in the air. "Thanks Sparkle, I had fun. I'm going home now, ok?"
Thank you, Elizabeth, said Sparkle. I will be going home soon too, I think.
~~
"Thaaaank you, horsie!" Gwen sang, slinging her arms around Owen's neck.
"Shut up," he said, shrugging her off. He grabbed one of her arms as he turned and raised it above her head.
"Ow!" Gwen cried, crumpling. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, no fair, let go!"
He let go, and she glared at him, massaging away the phantom pain in her shoulder from her absent wings. Owen just smirked and went back to fixing up his equipment that had been upset during Sparkle's energy wave; a great deal of it had gotten covered in strawberry jam.
Ianto came in from upstairs, bearing mugs of hot coffee. He handed one to Toshiko, who'd been busy checking all the computers for damage. Gwen hopped up to join them, taking her own mug with a smile.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
"Right as rain," said Gwen. Owen snuck up behind her and pressed into her shoulder blade with his uninjured hand. She arched backwards in surprise.
"Owowowowow!" she said. She glared back at the doctor. "Just a little sore."
"What about you, Ianto?" Toshiko asked.
Ianto smiled at her. "Just fine," he said, "All things considered." He winced as Owen lifted the gauze on his arm, though.
"Everything's taken care of, kids!" shouted Jack, leaping up the stairs from the cells. "Sparkle is safely in repair mode, and we'll be sending her back to her home planet in no time. And I'm happy to report that all of Cardiff is officially back to its boring, gray, human-centric self. The last of the changes should fade away by morning."
"I'm looking forward to it," Tosh murmured to herself.
"Why, did something not change back for you?" Owen teased, wiping some drying blood from Ianto's shoulder. "Still got cravings for hay? Your butt still tattooed?"
Toshiko blushed and stared determinedly at her keyboard.
"Oh my god, it is, isn't it?" Gwen laughed.
"You could have waited before changing things back," Ianto said, changing the subject before Gwen and Owen started chasing Tosh around the room to pull down her trousers. "At least until Doctor Horsie'd used his magical healing powers on this sort of thing." He gestured at the bite mark on his shoulder that Owen had started rewrapping.
"Yeah, that would've been nice," agreed Gwen.
"I think you'll manage," Jack teased, stepping up behind her and massaging her shoulders. She moaned in delight, leaning back into his touch and making Ianto's and Owen's eyebrows shoot up. Owen smirked, and Toshiko blushed even deeper.
"Ooh, you have no idea how much I missed hands," Gwen said, her eyes closed.
"That reminds me," Ianto said, "I found your wedding ring on the stairs. You must have dropped it when we… changed."
"Oh!" said Gwen, and she stepped away from Jack to take the ring from him. "Thank you, Ianto!"
"Spoilsport," Owen muttered as he taped the bandage back in place.
"If that's all then, I think I've had enough excitement for the day." Gwen kept going, grabbing her jacket off her chair and heading for the door. "Rhys is going to want to tell me all about his robots, I'm sure."
Jack grinned, grabbing his coffee off Toshiko's desk. "Sure, go home. We all did a good job today, I think. We wouldn't have gotten through if we didn't all do our part. I - "
"Jack," Ianto cut in, gaping at him in disbelief. "You are not trying to put some sort of moral at the end of all this."
Jack blinked at him. "I was just saying -"
"You were," Owen put in. "You were going to say something stupid like we all used our unique abilities as a team to… defeat the evil, or something."
Jack pouted, crossing his arms and leaning back on the desk. "Well, didn't we?"
"I mostly ran after all the rest of you and did nothing," Toshiko said. "I mean it's not a very effective moral if it doesn't apply to everybody, is it?"
"And it's not like I can normally just fix mortal wounds on a whim, like some kind of medical deus ex machina," said Owen. "It's not any kind of talent, it was a one-time thing."
"It still counts!" Jack said. "Why are you so determined to ruin this?"
"I can't normally fly, either," said Gwen. "And what the hell does flying have to do with a heart and a gun, anyway? From the cutie mark you'd think I'd've killed someone. Or… loved someone. …To death."
"Was I supposed to do something with coffee?"
"I couldn't even get anywhere near a computer with hooves…"
"Okay okay, I get it!" Jack said in exasperation. "No morals, no special messages for the kids at home. Just… get out of here, all of you. Go enjoy your nice mundane lives."
Gwen waited for Tosh to join her in the lift, and Owen followed soon after. Ianto lingered, putting the mugs back in the kitchen and picking up odds and ends while Jack fiddled around in his office. He waited for Jack to get off the phone, then stepped in to join him.
"Who was that?"
Jack glanced up at him. "Just working out a cover story. The papers seem to be going with virtual reality testing gone wrong - not all that far from the truth, actually, but I wonder if it's a little far fetched for this time period."
"If the papers are already saying it, we could just let it play out, just tweak the details."
"I suppose we could get lucky," said Jack, and he leaned back in his chair. "Was there something you wanted?"
"Nothing in particular," Ianto said with shrug. "Just wondering how long the aftereffects are going to last. Myfanwy's still coughing up smoke."
"Not too long. Probably no longer than a day, I'm sure. It's a pity, I'd kind of wanted to see Tosh's tattoo."
"Hmm," Ianto agreed. "I was more wondering if you were still feeling horny."
Jack grinned. "Not any more than usual, I think," he said. "Care to double check?"
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Gwen, Owen, Ianto, Tosh, OCs. Canon pairings.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Mentions of sex, mature language, really really bad puns, ridiculousness.
Summary: A little girl makes a friend, who can create everything she's ever wanted. She wants cartoons. The rest of Cardiff isn't very happy about this. Torchwood to the rescue! ...if they can just figure out how to work around their unfortunate transformations.
Part 1
The way to the supposed 'source' was made difficult. It seemed that every one of the strange creatures had been gathered near to the tornado, and now were trying very hard to get away from it. In addition, the entire populous of Cardiff had gravitated to the commotion, and, already in a tizzy from the sudden transformations most of them had undergone, they were panicking, screaming, running everywhere, and fighting, as frightened humans were prone to do, never mind that many of them no longer resembled said species.
The four ponies did their best to maneuver through the crowd.
"I miss the SUV," Ianto said.
"Well you're welcome to go back, get the keys, and attempt to get it working with only hooves and your mouth," Gwen said.
"You'd be surprised what I can do with my mouth," Ianto said.
"Jack's not here, Ianto," Owen said flatly.
"Right, sorry. Instinct."
"Just hang on, we must be getting close by now," Toshiko said. "If the amount of chaos is anything to measure by."
"Should I go have another look?"
"We're liable to lose you in the swarm," Ianto pointed out, glancing up at the sky, filled with flying monkeys and fairies and other winged things.
"Right," Gwen said with a sigh. She flinched as she narrowly avoided crashing into a large purple bird speeding through the streets. "Because it's so much better down here."
"At least we can all keep an eye on each other," he said. "We don't want to lose anyone else."
They did their best to hunch together, but it was difficult to push through the crowd. Owen in particular was doing his best to avoid being trod upon, as he was certain he did not want to find out what an injury to his dead-ish pony body would translate to on his dead-ish human one. Gwen was the opposite, walking too quickly and doubling back when she realized she'd gotten separated again, dodging around the various bodies with relative ease, thanks to her experience in crowd control. Tosh and Ianto did their best to mediate the pace, but it didn't really work until Toshiko grew fed up with both of them and grabbed hold of Gwen's tail in her teeth, instructing the boys to do the same.
And so a daisy chain of undersized, Technicolor ponies zigzagged its way through the crowd across the streets of Cardiff.
As they walked, Gwen's ominous magical tornado became visible over the rooftops. Much to their relief, the crowd seemed to be thinning as well, and their pace picked up to a light trot. Gwen led the way with confidence, not really noticing as the other three strained to keep up, dragged behind by the train of tails.
She tugged them around the corner and was forced to slow down rather abruptly; the crowd was suddenly thick again, and unmoving. A veritable wall of people and creatures blocked their way just up ahead, stopped by the remarkably mundane presence of a line of caution tape and some police vehicles.
The police themselves had their hands full working the crowd. A gorilla in uniform was shouting through a megaphone for everyone to keep calm and exit the area, and a couple of policewomen with butterfly wings were firmly turning the bottleneckers away from the area.
The throng wasn't making any effort to leave, but it seemed content to stay behind the barrier for the most part. The Torchwood ponies were the only ones still pushing forwards, trying to find a way through the throng. The gorilla shouted at them, his voice garbled from the megaphone.
When they didn't stop, more voices joined in, repeating the message; please stay behind the police line, remain calm.
Gwen's ears perked up. She leapt into the air with a grin and hovered above the heads of the rabble, looking for the source of the voice.
"Andy!" she shouted delightedly, swooping down to stand next to him.
Andy jumped in alarm, nearly dropping his car radio as he ducked out of the window he'd been leaning in. "Gwen?"
They stared at each other. Gwen snorted.
"Hey Andy," she said. "You mind making way for Torchwood?"
"Er," Andy said, still gaping down at the little blue pegasus that used to be one of his best friends. "Yeah, I guess."
He sighed and pulled his hat off. "Is this mess one of yours, then?"
"We didn't cause it, Andy," Gwen said crossly. "But we are working to fix it, and we need to get through here if we want to get to the bottom of things."
"Something to do with that tornado-thing then?"
"Probably," Gwen said. "By the way, you haven't seen a unicorn with a T on his arse come through here, did you?"
"Erm," said Andy, looking around at the crowd. "I don't think so. Well, that one's got a tea on his behind, but I wouldn't call it a unicorn."
Gwen looked where he was pointing; Ianto was looking worriedly on as Owen examined the bottom of Tosh's chin, which had been scraped on the pavement when Gwen's tail was suddenly yanked out from between her teeth, knocking her over.
"Oh, no," she said, a little guiltily. "Ianto's got coffee, most likely. Jack has an actual letter T. And he's a sort of blue-grey."
Andy took a moment to process that before bursting out in laughter. "You're all turned into horsies then? Oh that's rich, the great and powerful Torchwood. Unicorns and ponies!"
Gwen fluttered her wings in irritation. "Yeah, well, at least I'm not a bear."
Andy's ears flattened, but he shrugged. "Least it's not a Care Bear. And I still have hands."
"Touché," said Gwen. "But I can do this."
She launched into the air again, doing an impromptu flip before landing back with the team.
"Show-off," Owen accused. "What'd you take off for, Tosh could've bit through her tongue with a fall like that."
"I'm so sorry Tosh," Gwen said, sheepishly hunkering down into her wings. "I wasn't thinking. But I thought I heard Andy, and he said he'll clear the way for us to go through."
She gestured up towards the barricade, where Andy was pushing the crowd aside with his big paws.
"Well," Ianto said. "That's… that's something."
Owen just scoffed and pushed past them towards the newly formed path. "Well that's a relief. I'm sick of having my mouth full of tail, and I've definitely had enough of staring at Ianto's arse."
Ianto snorted. "You're just jealous."
"We all know Owen's always been a horse's arse though," Tosh said, following them. "Thank you, Andy," she added to the bear, who was politely holding up the caution tape.
"Yeah, right. Just get all this sorted quick, all right?"
Owen smirked in response. "No problem, PC Pooh Bear. Just keep the way clear for us professionals, would you?"
Andy scowled at him, showing off his sharp teeth. "Just hurry up, would you?"
To Gwen, he added, "I'll keep an eye out for that captain of yours."
"Thanks, Andy," she said, lifting into the air again. "Though knowing him, he's probably already right in the middle of everything."
~~
Jack didn't notice at first when the tug on his horn had stopped, so by the time he had stopped running, he found himself right in the middle of everything.
'Everything' was, in this case, a hoard of very angry, very strange looking creatures. They all shared the permanent scowl, the very sharp teeth, and the constant incoherent howling and growling and snarling; aside from that, they were all over the map. One of them had feathery wings and talons, and couldn't seem to stop itself flapping into walls every time it tried to move; another had a horse's body, not altogether unlike Jack's own, though from the horse's shoulders up was a more or less humanoid body, towering over Jack's head with the combined height of the two torsos; still others were half snake, had eight legs or fins or pointy ears - one even had sparkly butterfly wings, which left behind silvery sparkles as the creature lunged for Jack's throat with its partly transfigured claws.
Honestly, if they hadn't all been wearing the remains of boiler suits, Jack hardly would have recognized them as weevils at all.
"Shit!" Jack declared as the fairy princess weevil grazed his chest with its claws.
"Shit!" he added, suddenly distracted by the harpy weevil crashing into his back half with a screech.
He bucked angrily, rising onto his front legs and lashing out as hard as he could with the back pair. The fairy weevil lunged again and he ducked his head, managing to stab it in the shoulder with his horn by pure luck.
It fell back, wailing, and Jack felt fleetingly sorry for it, transformed by whatever it was afflicting all of Cardiff and utterly unable to understand what was going on, but then the centaur weevil charged. Jack reared up by some unfortunate instinct, and the weevil caught his hooves on the way down, pushing him backwards and making him overbalance.
Jack found himself on his back, winded, staring at a pair of black hooves coming down very quickly towards his face. He moved without thinking, rolling over as the hooves came crashing down onto the cement.
He stumbled but managed onto his own hooves. He tossed his head and glared at the gathering of ex-weevils, backing up slowly. The weevils stared back, growling and baring their teeth as they advanced towards him.
Jack stopped when his hind legs hit the wall. The weevils did not.
"Shit," he said yet again, not really able to come up with anything else to say. He wondered what it would be like, dying as a pony. Most likely just as painful. Would he heal human, or still be stuck unicorn? Maybe some weird hybrid.
He wasn't planning on finding out if he didn't have to, though. He crouched, tensing his back legs in preparation and ducking his head so his sharp horn faced the approaching threat.
Jack's eyes rolled up to stare at the weevils. He pawed the ground with his front hoof, waiting impatiently for an opening.
The centaur lunged.
Jack charged.
The weevils fell apart with a cacophony of screeches - he felt the horse-body impact his own, making his shoulder ache with every step, but Jack kept running. Something went crunch under his hooves, and suddenly there was something disgusting that looked possibly like snake guts trailing behind him. Eyes fixed on the path ahead, Jack could only guess the aliens' distance behind him by the fading sounds of growling and wailing, half blocked by his own hoof beats.
Jack skidded around a corner, back onto a main road. Out of the alley, it was easier to run, though his hooves began to ache. The sounds of pursuit faded gradually behind him.
He tossed his head back and laughed in adrenaline-fueled relief. With a grin, he slowed to a trot, taking a quick glance over his shoulder to see where the weevils were. He caught a glimpse of the feathery one fumbling through the air back into the alley - thankfully, they preferred to stay out of the sunlight when possible, and the bespectacled star was still more or less unhindered by the candyfloss clouds.
Jack smiled and turned back ahead, trying to get his bearings. While being dragged along by his own forehead, he'd seen what looked a bit like a ship, albeit one drawn by winged kittens, but he'd lost sight of it after charging into the den of weevils. Now, it couldn't be found, and his horn had stopped its tugging, and he was left with little idea where to go. The team was… who knows where, and the streets were empty.
His hooves ached, he thought, as the excitement from the chase wore off. He wondered if it was from a lack of horseshoes. Were there any blacksmiths in Cardiff? There must be some somewhere in Wales, what with all the empty farmland and -
His hooves clattered as he slipped, and he barely managed to catch himself when he lost his balance.
Lost in thought about horseshoes and blacksmithery and his team and getting lost, Jack hadn't noticed as the sky darkened, or the way the wind picked up, or even the strange golden sparks in the air above him.
He still didn't notice those things, only vaguely hearing in his mind Sparkle's telepathic cries of Help, oh no, what do I do, help, no no no no no no malfunction malfunction.
Instead he stared at the puddle of blood at his hooves, and the broken figure of a little girl in a yellow raincoat sprawled on the ground, taking shallow, gurgling breaths half filled with her own blood.
"Mummy," he heard, "Daddy, where are you? Sparkle, it hurts!"
She coughed, spitting out more blood onto the pavement, grasping the wound in her stomach the weevil had ripped open.
Elizabeth no no no I have to find them malfunction hang on Elizabeth find a policeman oh no oh no help help malfunction!
"Shit," said Jack.
~~
Beyond the police barrier, it was much easier going, in terms of crowds; the streets were empty as they galloped through. Unfortunately, this close to the tornado, the winds were strong enough to push them backwards if they weren't careful.
Still, they charged forwards. Ianto took the lead, his slightly stockier build lending him some stability; Gwen huddled behind him, seeking cover from being constantly buffeted to the side by the harsh winds. Toshiko and Owen brought up the rear, stumbling as they fought to keep up.
"Any sign of Jack?" Tosh shouted.
"Not yet!" Ianto called back as he braced himself against the wind. "Bet he's right at the heart of that thing," he added, jerking his head towards the twister looming just ahead of them. It was stationary, which was unusual for tornados; a whirling vortex of wind and debris that remained perfectly in place in the street.
Help help stop no police police mummydaddy help!
"Did you lot hear that?" asked Gwen.
"I can barely hear myself," Owen shouted over the wind.
"I heard it," Tosh said. "Only it wasn't really a sound, just a voice - "
"A voice without a sound, that makes perfect sense."
"Shut up, Owen, if you would just listen - "
No no no stop! STOP! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!
There was a flash of golden light from the tornado, and it grew suddenly in diameter, reaching out for the four ponies and knocking them from their feet into the wall of one of the buildings lining the street.
Gwen yelped, crashing into the wall sideways. Ianto plowed into her, and Tosh into him. Owen winced as he heard a crack! at his impact, inwardly hoping it was one of the others and not yet another fracture of his own.
Stay away from her! Help, police, malfunction - keep away, I said!
"Who?!" Ianto shouted at the air, untangling himself from the girls with a groan. "Stay away from who?"
Oh no oh no oh no oh no, the voice said, Oh no, Elizabeth, I'm so sorry, I'll find them, help, police, I need a policeman policeman policeman!
"She's a policeman!" Owen shouted, gesturing at Gwen.
There was a pause from the voice. Gwen glared at Owen. The wind died down a little bit, though the tornado kept up its stationary spin.
Policeman?
"She is," Ianto confirmed. "She's with the police, we - we all are, we can help you."
Help me, repeated the voice. Help me, help Elizabeth, she's hurt, the game went wrong, malfunction mal - I have to find her parents, help her, help Elizabeth!
Gwen took a steadying breath. "We can help you," she said. "Just calm down and tell me what the problem is."
The wind weakened.
She's hurt, said the voice. We were playing. We were looking for her mum and dad. I can't find them. I don't know what I'm looking for. I can't remember what to do.
Golden sparks flitted out from the dwindling tornado. They gathered in front of Gwen and flickered uncertainly. She said to find police, police can find her dad, they know what to do.
Gwen glanced back at the team in mild panic. They gestured for her to go on. She swallowed. "Well, what… do you know her last name? Or her parents' names? I'm sure we can contact them, we just have to find their information…"
I don't know anything! the sparks wailed. We were just playing, she told me stories, and we acted it out, and we were having fun, but there were these monsters! Scary monsters, I don't like monsters, I never make monsters, monsters monsters no get away don't touch her, leave her alone!
Gwen took an alarmed step back as the sparks flared with emotion. "Listen," she said again, "Let us help you, if you can just take us to Elizabeth - "
NO! the sparks screamed. The tornado suddenly picked up again, full force. No no no, monsters, get away from her, don't you hurt her!
The sparks rose into the air, flashing nearly white and speeding off into the sky.
"Monsters?" Toshiko said. "What kind of monsters?"
"Hang on, I'll go after it!" Gwen said, preparing for liftoff. She leapt, but her flight was cut short by a screeching mass of feathers careening into her. Gwen screamed, kicking the creature's belly with her hind legs as hard as she could; the feathery weevil screamed back, grabbing for her with hands it no longer possessed and trying to bite her as they tumbled to the ground together.
"Gwen!" Ianto shouted, running forwards to help her. He was blocked by another transformed weevil that vaulted onto his back, burying its sharp teeth in his shoulder. He roared in pain, bucking and rearing in an attempt to shake the creature off, but the fluttering purple butterfly wings gave it stability, and it refused to let go.
Ianto threw himself sideways into a wall; he caught a glimpse of Tosh as she ducked a monstrous centaur's sharp hooves, Owen backing away from a clacking, snarling facsimile of a spider. The weevil went crunch against the wall, and one of its wings fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.
He stumbled to his feet as quickly as he could, leaving the weevil howling on the ground. Disoriented, he charged in a crooked path towards Gwen, determined to help her.
She detached herself from the weevil, shaking her head and stumbling to the side in the wind, but it just screeched and jumped back into the air, diving straight for her. Ianto ran for them, as fast as he could, but they were too far away to catch, it was going to grab her again -
A gray blur bowled into the weevil with a thunder of hooves, knocking it to the ground and away from Gwen.
Ianto slowed to a stop, staring. Jack tugged his horn out of the weevil's side, ignoring the alien's cries of pain. He grinned over at Ianto.
"Alright there, kids?" he shouted, sparing a glance at Gwen, too, before he charged back towards Tosh and Owen. He plowed into the centaur with his shoulder, and Tosh kicked its face in with her hind leg. As it stumbled, he continued over to Owen, trampling over the spider-weevil with a flourish. "Or should I say foals?"
He stepped easily off the partially squashed weevil, which dragged itself away with its remaining four limbs. The feathered one followed with an uneven gait, limping as fast as it could and snarling. The weevil Ianto had tackled just groaned from its position on the ground, leaving the centaur to face the group.
It growled menacingly, but faced with five angry ponies, it backed away. Jack snorted and bent his neck, glaring it down as he stamped the ground. Ianto copied his pose, and Gwen went around the side to block its escape. Tosh scraped her back foot on the cement, staring unwaveringly at the weevil. It bolted with one last roar at her, after its companions back the way they'd come.
Jack straightened up with a grin. "No point having a horn if you don't use it," he said cheerily to Owen.
Owen glanced with thinly veiled disgust at Jack's forehead; the horn and surrounding mane were both dripping with weevil blood. "Yeah, not interested in ruining every little girl's childhood there, thanks."
He blinked in surprise at that, and looked down at the gore on his hooves as if he'd just noticed it.
"Jack, is any of that blood yours?" Ianto asked as he approached.
Jack glanced at his coat; his chest was spattered with flecks of red and brown and black. Gwen was more mesmerized by the smear of red on his cheek and muzzle.
"No," he said, "I don't think so. Just weevil and… someone else. What about you, that bite looks pretty bad."
Ianto shrugged. "Doesn't hurt that much. I can manage."
"Gwen?"
"Fine, thanks. You had good timing."
"As always," Jack said with a smirk.
"Those weevils are heading back over to the police line," Toshiko said.
They all looked.
"Damn," said Jack. "You three, go after them, quick as you can; make sure nobody else has to get killed tonight. Gwen, you're with me, I need you to fly after Sparkle."
Tosh and Ianto needed no more encouragement; they galloped after the pack of aliens, both shaking off their injuries within the first few steps.
"Sparkle is that alien thing that was shouting about police then?" Gwen said, already starting after it.
"It's actually an AI," said Jack, "A kind of babysitting entertainment system, it alters the surrounding environment to create an exciting experience for the user. Only this one's been damaged, its limiter's broken, and now it's panicking, so it's turned on its defense mode, so we have to hurry up and get it calmed down so it can reverse all of this."
"Jack," Owen interrupted.
Jack started. "I thought you went with Tosh and Ianto."
Owen shrugged. "I can't keep up with them," he said. "I'll catch up later."
Jack frowned, but nodded. "Fine. Stay here for now, keep an eye out for the AI and any more transformed aliens, let us know if you find anything, come on Gwen - "
"Jack," Owen said again. "Whose blood is that?"
Jack stopped in his tracks. Gwen was already in the air, flying a cautious perimeter around the tornado, searching for a sign of the golden sparks.
"And you said 'nobody else has to get killed tonight,'" Owen continued. "Who got killed? Is that why the AI's panicking? It said something about an Elizabeth."
Jack sighed. He jerked his head to the left, gesturing to the tornado itself. "In there," he said, "There's a little girl. One of the weevils got to her. Slashed her chest and throat. She's bleeding to death; I tried to help, but she's too far gone. The AI knocked me away and wouldn't let me near her, that's what the tornado is protecting."
He glanced back at Owen over his shoulder before trotting to catch up with Gwen. "There's nothing we can do about it; go after Tosh and Ianto and put a stop to those weevils before they hurt someone."
Owen just watched him go.
~~
Gwen found it easier to fly than to walk. The winds that had been such a hindrance on the ground lifted her easily into the air, and she gained elevation in no time, higher than she'd ever gone before.
Easier didn't mean easy, though. Debris flew at her from all directions, and it took all her concentration to avoid being hit. The wind pushed her firmly in circles around the tornado, and turning around was obviously not going to happen. She pushed out of her mind thoughts of how she was going to get down again as she circled higher and higher, squinting against the wind as she searched frantically for any sign of gold.
"Hello?" she shouted. "Sparkle? Hello?!"
There was no answer except the howling wind.
"You wanted me to help you!" she shouted. "I'm police, just talk to me, let me help!"
"Gwen!"
Gwen looked down to see Jack shouting at her from a rooftop. With some effort she managed to point herself down, spreading her wings out to lower her speed.
"Any luck?"
"Not yet," she said. She dropped heavily onto the roof, panting. "What is it with you and rooftops?"
"Seems logical when your teammate's decided the only way to travel is by air," said Jack. "I had to take the stairs. Let me tell you, stairs and hooves do not mix."
"Well you did tell me to!" Gwen laughed. "What did Owen want?"
"Oh just… doctor stuff."
"Jack."
"He asked about Elizabeth."
"Right, and who is Elizabeth?"
"That would be the little girl that Sparkle the alien AI got attached to who got mauled by a weevil."
"And that's why it's freaking out and attacking us with tornadoes."
"That's about it, yup."
Gwen sighed. "Is there anything we can do?""
"Our best bet is getting Sparkle here to calm down," said Jack. "It's going to be difficult without the girl, but we have to manage. It's the only thing that's going to reverse all of, well, this." He raised a hoof and shrugged.
Gwen huffed, blowing her mane out of her face. "Right."
"Right. So, let's find Sparkle."
"How?"
Jack thought about it.
"HEY, SPARKLE!" he shouted.
"Right, because I didn't try that already," Gwen muttered, rubbing her ear with a hoof. She turned back to the edge of the roof, looking up at the top of the tornado. "Sparkle, let us help you!"
Go away, said a quiet voice. Leave me alone.
Jack raised his eyebrows at Gwen. "Sparkle?" he said. "Sparkle, we want to talk to you."
I don't know what to do. I am damaged. I do not know what to do.
"Listen, Sparkle," Gwen said. "You wanted my help. Well I'm here, you have to let me help you."
Who are you?
"My name is Gwen. I'm with the police. You wanted the police, didn't you?"
Elizabeth said to find a policeman. Policemen help you when you're lost.
"Are you lost?" Jack asked.
Elizabeth is lost, said Sparkle. She cannot find her parents.
The voice paused.
I am also lost, the AI admitted.
Jack stepped forward. Gwen admired his ability to make eye contact with something hidden inside a whirling tornado. "We can help you," he said. "We can get you repaired, help you get home."
What about Elizabeth?
Jack frowned. "Elizabeth… Sparkle, Elizabeth is -"
"I can go look for her parents," Gwen interjected. "I'm sure they're out looking for her. I'll find them and bring them back to her."
"Gwen."
"Shut up, Jack, I can find them."
Golden flickers emerged from the air. You… can find them? You can take me home?
Gwen looked earnestly at the sparks. "I promise, we'll do everything we can. But first you have to stop this wind. Okay?"
….Okay.
The wind slowly began to die down, and the tight spiral of the tornado unwound. There were distant thumps from the ground as the debris dropped.
"Thank you," said Gwen. "Just stay here with my friend Jack, all right, Sparkle? I'm going to go look for Elizabeth's parents. You just stay put and talk with Jack."
All right.
Gwen walked to the edge of the roof and hunkered down in preparation for flight.
Gwen, said Sparkle.
She stopped and looked over her shoulder at the sparks.
Thank you.
Gwen smiled and nodded, then flapped her wings and took off.
~~
"It hurts," she whispered. "I want my daddy."
"I know you do, sweetheart."
Elizabeth jerked in surprise and turned towards the sound. She tried to open her eyes, but saw only blurred shapes.
"I'm cold," she choked.
"Yeah, I know," said the voice, and something bent down over her, nuzzling her chest. It wasn't warm, but it was soft, and it was the first comfort she'd had since Sparkle had disappeared. After that there had been only the ground and her own sobbing and a constant roaring in her ears. Now it was quiet. She reached up and put her arms around the creature's neck, pulling it close and burying her face in the fur.
"Just hold on, sweetheart," the voice said, vibrating against her face.
Elizabeth relaxed, falling into unconsciousness in just a couple seconds. Her sticky hands slipped to the ground, leaving bloody red smears in gray fur. The last thing she heard was the voice, muttering to itself.
"I hope this bloody works."
~~
Tosh and Ianto were on their way back towards Jack, having locked the weevils in one of the abandoned buildings. It hadn't been exactly easy - herding the aliens was simple enough, but locking the doors had proved fruitless, despite Ianto's earlier claims of dexterity without hands. They'd wound up just pushing things in front of the doors.
They were trotting back when Gwen suddenly sped past them, overhead.
They glanced at each other and ran after her.
"Gwen!" Ianto shouted.
She backpedaled in midair, turning around to hover just above normal eyelevel.
"You got the weevils?"
"Yeah," he said. "What's going on?"
She explained, quickly, about Sparkle and Elizabeth. "I'm going to look for her parents," she said. "I'll ask Andy to get the police on it, and I'll take a look myself. Care to help?"
"There are dozens of people out there," Tosh said. "You'll never find them just looking around."
"Worth a shot," Gwen said. "I have to try."
Ianto nodded in agreement. "We'll help you."
He and Toshiko jogged after her, back towards the police line. The crowd was still there, gathered right at the police tape and shouting at the officers angrily. Frankenstein's monster and an anthropomorphic rabbit seemed particularly incensed; they probably would have run through and been overturning patrol cars if Andy and his gorilla partner didn't make such an intimidating presence.
"Andy!" Gwen shouted, coming in for landing.
"Good God, Gwen!" said Andy, turning away from the crowd. "What the hell happened?"
He stared at the still oozing bite wound on Ianto's shoulder. Gwen ignored the question.
"We need to find a little girl's parents. Can we use your megaphone? They might be in the crowd somewhere. If they're not, we need you to contact the rest of the police and get a search out. It's important."
The gorilla looked like he was going to argue, but Andy grabbed the megaphone and held it out to her.
Gwen moved to grab it before stopping in confusion.
"Er," she said. "I may need you to hold it for me."
Andy held the microphone to her mouth, raising the horn above his head so everyone could hear.
"Excuse me everybody," boomed Gwen's voice over the area. "Sorry for the inconvenience, we hope to have this sorted out as soon as possible. Is there anybody here who's been separated from a little girl named Elizabeth? Again, we're looking for the parents of a lost girl named Elizabeth."
"No last name?" Andy asked.
"Our source didn't seem to know it," Ianto said.
The crowd just kept up its roar of dissatisfaction, pressing against the blockade angrily. They weren't happy about being turned into cartoon characters in the first place, and the police's apparent lack of priorities just made things worse.
Ianto sighed. To keep looking for Elizabeth's parents, they'd have to make their way back through that mess. He broke away from the police and his teammates, already looking for an opening.
"Wait!" said a voice from somewhere in the crowd. An arm rose up from the mass of heads, waving frantically. "Wait, that's my daughter! Elizabeth, I'm her father, please, wait, let me through!"
Ianto ducked his head and pushed into the throng, shoving people aside.
"Out of the way!" he shouted. "Let him through!"
He pushed his way through, meeting the man somewhere in the middle.
"You're Elizabeth's father?" he asked.
"Yes, thank God," said the man, apparently unphased by asking for the assistance of a talking pony. "She went missing this morning, just before all this happened. Is she all right? Where's my Lizzy?"
Ianto looked up at the man - he was fairly average looking, particularly amongst the multitude of mythical creatures and cartoons; tall, with dark hair and glasses. He was, however, wearing a long red cape and had a large letter "D" embroidered on his form-fitting shirt.
He smiled a little at that. "Please, sir, come with me. We've found your daughter, but… she's not doing so well. She's been looking for you, and we'd like to get you back to her as soon as possible."
The man went pale, but nodded. "Yes, thank you, please, take me to my daughter."
The two of them slipped under the police line, and were quickly joined by Gwen and Toshiko. Gwen managed to convince Andy to stay with the crowd, much to his displeasure, and she led the way back to Jack and Sparkle.
Elizabeth's father stared at the damage caused by the tornado. His eyes stuck on the crippled fairy-weevil Ianto had crushed, and traveled down the track of bloody hoof prints beside them.
He looked up at the sound of another set of hooves. Jack was trotting towards them, his mane haloed by Sparkle's luminescence. The effect was somewhat ruined by the weevil blood on his hooves and head, however.
"Good job everybody!" Jack said. "Sparkle, as you can see, Gwen kept her part of the bargain."
Sparkle flickered, and the sparks gathered in the air before the man's face. You are… Elizabeth's father?
"Yes," he choked. "Yes, please, where's my little girl?"
Sparkle glowed. She told me to get a policeman. She said a policeman could find her parents. She was right!
"Please, where is she?"
The AI flickered and dimmed. Elizabeth. She - I - malfunction, I am damaged, I didn't know what to do.
"Wh- what?"
"Sir," Jack said, stepping forwards, "I'm afraid Elizabeth… she was attacked."
He went pale. "Attacked?"
Elizabeth, Sparkle whimpered. No no no no no malfunction I I I I
The wind started to pick up again.
"Sparkle, stop, there was nothing you can do," said Gwen urgently. "Elizabeth wouldn't want you to do this -"
"What happened to my daughter?" Elizabeth's father demanded. "Where is she?!"
"Sir," said Jack again, "I'm afraid Elizabeth - "
" - is perfectly fine," said another voice. "No thanks to you lot."
Owen came limping up to the group, a little girl in a yellow-red raincoat draped over his back.
"Elizabeth!"
Elizabeth stirred, tightening her grip on Owen's neck. She looked up, blearily. "Daddy?"
Owen knelt awkwardly, letting her clamber off his back and run into her father's arms.
"Oh my god!" he shouted at the red stained gash in her coat and shirt. "What happened? Is that blood?"
Jack sidestepped the reunited family to get over to Owen. The others joined him, staring at the blood covered little girl and the complete lack of fatal wound.
"Owen," said Jack, "That little girl was attacked by a weevil. She had a gaping hole in her chest. I could have sworn she was dead."
Owen just stared at him loftily. "I'm a magic sparkly unicorn with a syringe tattooed on my arse. Obviously I have magical healing powers."
Elizabeth struggled away from her father to run back up to Owen. She slung her arms back around his neck, tugging him down in a hug.
"Thank you, horsie!" she said. She grinned, pushing away and looking up at the gold glimmer in the air. "Thanks Sparkle, I had fun. I'm going home now, ok?"
Thank you, Elizabeth, said Sparkle. I will be going home soon too, I think.
~~
"Thaaaank you, horsie!" Gwen sang, slinging her arms around Owen's neck.
"Shut up," he said, shrugging her off. He grabbed one of her arms as he turned and raised it above her head.
"Ow!" Gwen cried, crumpling. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, no fair, let go!"
He let go, and she glared at him, massaging away the phantom pain in her shoulder from her absent wings. Owen just smirked and went back to fixing up his equipment that had been upset during Sparkle's energy wave; a great deal of it had gotten covered in strawberry jam.
Ianto came in from upstairs, bearing mugs of hot coffee. He handed one to Toshiko, who'd been busy checking all the computers for damage. Gwen hopped up to join them, taking her own mug with a smile.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
"Right as rain," said Gwen. Owen snuck up behind her and pressed into her shoulder blade with his uninjured hand. She arched backwards in surprise.
"Owowowowow!" she said. She glared back at the doctor. "Just a little sore."
"What about you, Ianto?" Toshiko asked.
Ianto smiled at her. "Just fine," he said, "All things considered." He winced as Owen lifted the gauze on his arm, though.
"Everything's taken care of, kids!" shouted Jack, leaping up the stairs from the cells. "Sparkle is safely in repair mode, and we'll be sending her back to her home planet in no time. And I'm happy to report that all of Cardiff is officially back to its boring, gray, human-centric self. The last of the changes should fade away by morning."
"I'm looking forward to it," Tosh murmured to herself.
"Why, did something not change back for you?" Owen teased, wiping some drying blood from Ianto's shoulder. "Still got cravings for hay? Your butt still tattooed?"
Toshiko blushed and stared determinedly at her keyboard.
"Oh my god, it is, isn't it?" Gwen laughed.
"You could have waited before changing things back," Ianto said, changing the subject before Gwen and Owen started chasing Tosh around the room to pull down her trousers. "At least until Doctor Horsie'd used his magical healing powers on this sort of thing." He gestured at the bite mark on his shoulder that Owen had started rewrapping.
"Yeah, that would've been nice," agreed Gwen.
"I think you'll manage," Jack teased, stepping up behind her and massaging her shoulders. She moaned in delight, leaning back into his touch and making Ianto's and Owen's eyebrows shoot up. Owen smirked, and Toshiko blushed even deeper.
"Ooh, you have no idea how much I missed hands," Gwen said, her eyes closed.
"That reminds me," Ianto said, "I found your wedding ring on the stairs. You must have dropped it when we… changed."
"Oh!" said Gwen, and she stepped away from Jack to take the ring from him. "Thank you, Ianto!"
"Spoilsport," Owen muttered as he taped the bandage back in place.
"If that's all then, I think I've had enough excitement for the day." Gwen kept going, grabbing her jacket off her chair and heading for the door. "Rhys is going to want to tell me all about his robots, I'm sure."
Jack grinned, grabbing his coffee off Toshiko's desk. "Sure, go home. We all did a good job today, I think. We wouldn't have gotten through if we didn't all do our part. I - "
"Jack," Ianto cut in, gaping at him in disbelief. "You are not trying to put some sort of moral at the end of all this."
Jack blinked at him. "I was just saying -"
"You were," Owen put in. "You were going to say something stupid like we all used our unique abilities as a team to… defeat the evil, or something."
Jack pouted, crossing his arms and leaning back on the desk. "Well, didn't we?"
"I mostly ran after all the rest of you and did nothing," Toshiko said. "I mean it's not a very effective moral if it doesn't apply to everybody, is it?"
"And it's not like I can normally just fix mortal wounds on a whim, like some kind of medical deus ex machina," said Owen. "It's not any kind of talent, it was a one-time thing."
"It still counts!" Jack said. "Why are you so determined to ruin this?"
"I can't normally fly, either," said Gwen. "And what the hell does flying have to do with a heart and a gun, anyway? From the cutie mark you'd think I'd've killed someone. Or… loved someone. …To death."
"Was I supposed to do something with coffee?"
"I couldn't even get anywhere near a computer with hooves…"
"Okay okay, I get it!" Jack said in exasperation. "No morals, no special messages for the kids at home. Just… get out of here, all of you. Go enjoy your nice mundane lives."
Gwen waited for Tosh to join her in the lift, and Owen followed soon after. Ianto lingered, putting the mugs back in the kitchen and picking up odds and ends while Jack fiddled around in his office. He waited for Jack to get off the phone, then stepped in to join him.
"Who was that?"
Jack glanced up at him. "Just working out a cover story. The papers seem to be going with virtual reality testing gone wrong - not all that far from the truth, actually, but I wonder if it's a little far fetched for this time period."
"If the papers are already saying it, we could just let it play out, just tweak the details."
"I suppose we could get lucky," said Jack, and he leaned back in his chair. "Was there something you wanted?"
"Nothing in particular," Ianto said with shrug. "Just wondering how long the aftereffects are going to last. Myfanwy's still coughing up smoke."
"Not too long. Probably no longer than a day, I'm sure. It's a pity, I'd kind of wanted to see Tosh's tattoo."
"Hmm," Ianto agreed. "I was more wondering if you were still feeling horny."
Jack grinned. "Not any more than usual, I think," he said. "Care to double check?"