(no subject)
100 fic challenge [#068.] Degradation, Kibum/Kibum, implied Kibum/Donghae
Title: Episodes
Length: 1,819 words
Author: shieldkitten
Rating: G
Summary: A series of sessions between Kibum and his psychiatrist.
Author's note: I couldn't get this information into the story since it was so dialogue driven, so: Kibum never came back to Korea. He struggled to fit in an American school and couldn't, so he began to build a fantasy world to which he could escape to when he was lonely. I know it's the sign of crap writing if you can't relay all the information you need to within the story but I just couldn't jam it in! Sorry!
"Hello, Kibum. Have a seat on the couch."
"It's pronounced Kibeum."
"Oh, I'm sorry. You must be so tired of people mispronouncing that."
"They didn't."
"You're Kibum, right?" Kibum turns to see a boy with puppy dog eyes. "I'm Donghae. Do you know Korean? Do you understand me? Are you jet lagged? Which year were you born in?"
Kibum can't help smiling, wondering which question he should answer first. "1987."
"Oh! Good! You have to call me hyung. Do you know what that is? Hyeeeeeeeoooooooong?"
Kibum laughs this time. "Hyung, I know Korean."
"Oh, good! I only know this much English - 'My name is Aiden Lee'. Do you have an English name?"
Kibum shakes his head.
"That's okay. I like 'Kibum'. It suits you. Kibum Kibum Kibum. I'm going to hug you now, okay?" Donghae doesn't give him a chance to respond before he envelopes him in a loose hug. "Okay, it's settled. I'm your hyung now, I'll protect you. Wear this."
Kibum turns the foil... art? that Donghae has just handed him. "What is it?"
"Foil hat. Protects you from the aliens."
"Tell me about your family."
"They're in California."
"No, your other family."
"We are Super Junior!" Kibum drops his hand, but not his smile, because it's the first them they've said it in public, and there's a magic in this moment.
"My name is Eeteuk, I'm the leader of Super Junior. I hope everyone enjoys our performances and please look forward to our debut album in the future." Eeteuk is a bundle of nerves, but he doesn't look it. Only the members in the back row can see how he's gripping the back of Kangin's shirt like a lifeline.
"Why don't the members introduce themselves as well?" someone asks, and then they sound off, one by one.
"I'm Kangin, Super Junior's strong man."
"I'm Siwon, nice to meet you."
"I'm Sungmin, it's nice to meet everyone!"
"I'm Kim Heechul."
"I'm Hankyung, super Junior's Chinese member."
"I'm Donghae, nice to meet you."
"My name is Eunhyuk, hello."
"I'm Shindong, Super Junior's best face."
"I'm Yehsung, it means artistic voice."
"I'm Ryeowook, Super Junior's magnae."
"Did we forget anyone?"
"Our Kibummie, always hiding in the back." They laugh, but it isn't unkind.
"Well introduce yourself!"
"Nice to meet you, I'm Kibum."
"Why do you think there were twelve people in your band?"
"Thirteen."
"Thirteen?"
"This is Kyuhyun," Kibum, the other Kibum, one of their managers, says.
"Hello," Kyuhyun says awkwardly.
Kibum isn't the first one to say hello, but he says it, eventually, and Kyuhyun gives a nervous laugh.
"Sorry, it's just, I thought you would be hard to talk to," Kyuhyun says, looking a little embarrassed.
"Huh?"
"You just seem like the quiet type. When you're on television."
Kibum laughs behind his hand. "Sometimes I talk."
"Cool."
They share an easy silence.
"Hey, want to help me play a prank on Yehsung-hyung?"
"Why a musician? Looking at your file it says you started out as an actor."
"I'm still an actor."
"All right, let's explore that for a moment. You take on solo work, as an actor, effectively distancing yourself from the rest of the band. Why do you think that is?"
"I worry about you sometimes," Siwon says. Kibum looks up from his script to see that Siwon does indeed look worried.
"Why?"
"You spend so much time by yourself, and then when you're with us you just sit by yourself reading. Don't you want to hang out with us?"
"I'm just reading my script, hyung."
"That's not it. No, I think you must hate us."
"Who hates us?" Shindong asks, popping up.
"Kibum."
"Kibum why do you hate us? How can you hate us?" Yehsung asks, shaking Kibum's arm.
"Kibum hates us?" Donghae sounds panicked.
"Kibum you can't hate us!" Sungmin protests.
"We'll just have to force him to love us," Shindong says.
"Forcefully," Sungmin agrees.
"Hugging may have to be involved," Siwon says.
"And kissy faces," Donghae suggests.
"On three," Yehsung says.
Kibum is careful to stow his script safely under his seat in the three seconds he is given.
"I understand you've been to Malaysia with your parents."
"When I was younger."
"And there was an incident on the last day?"
"Someone snatched my dad's camera bag."
"I understand you took a look of photos there. You must've been very disappointed to lose the record of the memories you made with your family."
"Ask him!" Heechul is scary when he is insistent, but Kibum is used to it.
"He won't sell us his battery-powered fan, hyung, he's using it."
"If you ask him and smile your smile at him he'll say yes."
"Ask him yourself."
"And what would I say? Yo man, touch me, yo, nice weather man, yo, thank you very much?"
"Ask Hankyung-hyung to ask him."
"We tried that, he doesn't speak Chinese. Ask him, Kibum! For my birthday!"
Kibum looks at Heechul. "Once it's past midnight you're going to have to stop using that as an excuse to make people do things for you."
"Well it isn't midnight yet. Go go go go go."
Kibum is saved when their manager herds them into the bus to move to the next filming location. Once on it, Heechul discovers that Hankyung has a battery-powered fan.
"Where did you get that?" he yells, trying to steal it.
"Siwon asked a guy for me," Hankyung says, holding it out of Heechul's reach. "Go get your own."
"KIBUM!"
Kibum decides the most prudent thing to do is to hide behind their manager until midnight.
"Have you ever been in a car accident?"
"No."
"But the subject intrigues you?"
"When... when people get hurt, it's okay to show you care."
"Do you feel you can't show your concern otherwise?"
Kibum listens to the beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Donghae curls into him, and Kibum rests his hand on Donghae's head.
"They're going to be fine," Kangin says, and because Kangin says it, it's going to be true.
"Is Ryeowook in Kyuhyun's room?" Yehsung asks, slowly letting go of Eeteuk's hand.
"They're not letting anyone in to see him yet," Kangin shakes his head.
"He's probably gone to see Shindong, then. I'm going to go find him." Yehsung gets to his feet like it hurts to stand.
Kibum catches his hand as he passes, and squeezes. Yehsung squeezes back.
"Can we go see Hyuk now?" Donghae asks softly.
"Yeah."
"You've started at a new school, haven't you?"
"Yeah."
"Are you enjoying it?"
"... The people are cool. We play WOW after school. They have a server."
"Do you find you have less time to yourself?"
"Sometimes."
"Do you resent that?"
"No."
Kibum hits a button on his answering machine and shrugs off his coat. There is a beep, and it informs him he has six new messages.
The first is from his manager, reminding him that he has a casting tomorrow.
The second is also from his manager, reminding him that he has a casting tomorrow and that the script for the casting is on his kitchen counter.
The third is from Yehsung, and makes no sense, though Kibum is sure that Yehsung finds whatever it is he said extremely hilarious.
The fourth is from his manager again, bringing forward the time of the casting by a few hours and reminding Kibum that the script is on his kitchen counter.
The fifth is from Donghae.
"WHERE ARE YOU? Did the aliens get you? Why don't you come over anymore? Why do you hate us? Come back, Bummie, or I'll have to make Kyuhyun build me a space ship and rescue you myself."
"He probably doesn't come over because you're always talking about aliens." Eunhyuk's voice.
"They're real! I have irresponsible evidence!"
"Kibum, if the aliens really did get to you, they're doing you a favour. Just stay put and pray for the rest of us." Kyuhyun's voice.
"Hey! This is my phonecall! Make y-"
The last one is also from Donghae.
"Ran out of time." He sounds sheepish. "Seriously, come back. I miss you."
"Kibum and Donghae, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G~"
Kibum chuckles as the beep cuts off Sungmin's voice.
"How long has it been since you had your last episode?"
"I don't remember."
"Do you remember what it was about?"
Kibum walks in on Eeteuk in tears, and Kangin's face full of dark thunder. Heechul's hands are curled, fisted. Eunhyuk is pale, Shindong is quiet, Sungmin isn't smiling, and Yehsung isn't even there.
Hankyung has tears in his eyes, but his shoulders are rigid, and he stands in front of six people like a shield. The room is divided.
"This has to happen," Sooman says, not unkindly. "It's for the best. At the end of it, we'll have the China market and you can have better album sales. You'll have a chance to reach more people."
"You're moving them to China," Heechul's voice is harsh. "What are the rest of us going to do? Sit around and wait for them to bring home the bacon?"
"Chul," Eeteuk is still authoritative, even in his despair. Kangin rests his hand on Eeteuk's shoulder.
"What's happening?" Sungmin asks in a small voice.
Kibum doesn't know.
"Did you have closure?"
"Closure?"
"Sometimes with fantasies, it's important to have some sort of ending, a conclusion, so you don't relapse."
"I don't... I don't think there was one."
"How would you have ended it?"
"We are Super Junior," they shout, and it's for the last time. There isn't a dry eye in the audience full of sapphire blue balloons, and Eeteuk is too choked up to lead the boys off the stage, so Kangin does it.
They stand in the corridor, some crying, some not, and it's awkward, and it's horrible, and it's how it has to be.
No one wants to leave. Kibum doesn't, either. This is Super Junior, and they have never let him down.
"We could stay together," Ryeowook says. "No one said we have to break up."
"We can go back," Yehsung says. "Be perfect again."
"It's us," Shindong says. "It's Super Junior."
"We're forever," Kyuhyun nods.
"We're Super Junior," Donghae says.
"We're Super Junior," Heechul says.
"We're Super Junior," Eunhyuk, Kangin says.
"We're Super Junior," SungminSiwonHankyung says.
"We're Super Junior," Eeteuk says.
They turn to him, they're almost in a circle, and they turn to him, waiting for him to complete it. Kibum hesitates.
"Kibum?" Donghae asks softly, holding out his hand.
"Let's schedule a few more sessions."
"I think it's over."
"Still, I think it would be better if..."
"Like you said, I made it up because I wasn't happy. I'm better now."
"Certainly, you have new friends, a new start. It's all conducive to your treatment, but I really think a few more sessions will help."
"I'm fine."
"Kibum?" Donghae asks softly, holding out his hand.
"Yeah," Kibum smiles, taking it.
Title: Episodes
Length: 1,819 words
Author: shieldkitten
Rating: G
Summary: A series of sessions between Kibum and his psychiatrist.
Author's note: I couldn't get this information into the story since it was so dialogue driven, so: Kibum never came back to Korea. He struggled to fit in an American school and couldn't, so he began to build a fantasy world to which he could escape to when he was lonely. I know it's the sign of crap writing if you can't relay all the information you need to within the story but I just couldn't jam it in! Sorry!
"Hello, Kibum. Have a seat on the couch."
"It's pronounced Kibeum."
"Oh, I'm sorry. You must be so tired of people mispronouncing that."
"They didn't."
"You're Kibum, right?" Kibum turns to see a boy with puppy dog eyes. "I'm Donghae. Do you know Korean? Do you understand me? Are you jet lagged? Which year were you born in?"
Kibum can't help smiling, wondering which question he should answer first. "1987."
"Oh! Good! You have to call me hyung. Do you know what that is? Hyeeeeeeeoooooooong?"
Kibum laughs this time. "Hyung, I know Korean."
"Oh, good! I only know this much English - 'My name is Aiden Lee'. Do you have an English name?"
Kibum shakes his head.
"That's okay. I like 'Kibum'. It suits you. Kibum Kibum Kibum. I'm going to hug you now, okay?" Donghae doesn't give him a chance to respond before he envelopes him in a loose hug. "Okay, it's settled. I'm your hyung now, I'll protect you. Wear this."
Kibum turns the foil... art? that Donghae has just handed him. "What is it?"
"Foil hat. Protects you from the aliens."
"Tell me about your family."
"They're in California."
"No, your other family."
"We are Super Junior!" Kibum drops his hand, but not his smile, because it's the first them they've said it in public, and there's a magic in this moment.
"My name is Eeteuk, I'm the leader of Super Junior. I hope everyone enjoys our performances and please look forward to our debut album in the future." Eeteuk is a bundle of nerves, but he doesn't look it. Only the members in the back row can see how he's gripping the back of Kangin's shirt like a lifeline.
"Why don't the members introduce themselves as well?" someone asks, and then they sound off, one by one.
"I'm Kangin, Super Junior's strong man."
"I'm Siwon, nice to meet you."
"I'm Sungmin, it's nice to meet everyone!"
"I'm Kim Heechul."
"I'm Hankyung, super Junior's Chinese member."
"I'm Donghae, nice to meet you."
"My name is Eunhyuk, hello."
"I'm Shindong, Super Junior's best face."
"I'm Yehsung, it means artistic voice."
"I'm Ryeowook, Super Junior's magnae."
"Did we forget anyone?"
"Our Kibummie, always hiding in the back." They laugh, but it isn't unkind.
"Well introduce yourself!"
"Nice to meet you, I'm Kibum."
"Why do you think there were twelve people in your band?"
"Thirteen."
"Thirteen?"
"This is Kyuhyun," Kibum, the other Kibum, one of their managers, says.
"Hello," Kyuhyun says awkwardly.
Kibum isn't the first one to say hello, but he says it, eventually, and Kyuhyun gives a nervous laugh.
"Sorry, it's just, I thought you would be hard to talk to," Kyuhyun says, looking a little embarrassed.
"Huh?"
"You just seem like the quiet type. When you're on television."
Kibum laughs behind his hand. "Sometimes I talk."
"Cool."
They share an easy silence.
"Hey, want to help me play a prank on Yehsung-hyung?"
"Why a musician? Looking at your file it says you started out as an actor."
"I'm still an actor."
"All right, let's explore that for a moment. You take on solo work, as an actor, effectively distancing yourself from the rest of the band. Why do you think that is?"
"I worry about you sometimes," Siwon says. Kibum looks up from his script to see that Siwon does indeed look worried.
"Why?"
"You spend so much time by yourself, and then when you're with us you just sit by yourself reading. Don't you want to hang out with us?"
"I'm just reading my script, hyung."
"That's not it. No, I think you must hate us."
"Who hates us?" Shindong asks, popping up.
"Kibum."
"Kibum why do you hate us? How can you hate us?" Yehsung asks, shaking Kibum's arm.
"Kibum hates us?" Donghae sounds panicked.
"Kibum you can't hate us!" Sungmin protests.
"We'll just have to force him to love us," Shindong says.
"Forcefully," Sungmin agrees.
"Hugging may have to be involved," Siwon says.
"And kissy faces," Donghae suggests.
"On three," Yehsung says.
Kibum is careful to stow his script safely under his seat in the three seconds he is given.
"I understand you've been to Malaysia with your parents."
"When I was younger."
"And there was an incident on the last day?"
"Someone snatched my dad's camera bag."
"I understand you took a look of photos there. You must've been very disappointed to lose the record of the memories you made with your family."
"Ask him!" Heechul is scary when he is insistent, but Kibum is used to it.
"He won't sell us his battery-powered fan, hyung, he's using it."
"If you ask him and smile your smile at him he'll say yes."
"Ask him yourself."
"And what would I say? Yo man, touch me, yo, nice weather man, yo, thank you very much?"
"Ask Hankyung-hyung to ask him."
"We tried that, he doesn't speak Chinese. Ask him, Kibum! For my birthday!"
Kibum looks at Heechul. "Once it's past midnight you're going to have to stop using that as an excuse to make people do things for you."
"Well it isn't midnight yet. Go go go go go."
Kibum is saved when their manager herds them into the bus to move to the next filming location. Once on it, Heechul discovers that Hankyung has a battery-powered fan.
"Where did you get that?" he yells, trying to steal it.
"Siwon asked a guy for me," Hankyung says, holding it out of Heechul's reach. "Go get your own."
"KIBUM!"
Kibum decides the most prudent thing to do is to hide behind their manager until midnight.
"Have you ever been in a car accident?"
"No."
"But the subject intrigues you?"
"When... when people get hurt, it's okay to show you care."
"Do you feel you can't show your concern otherwise?"
Kibum listens to the beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Donghae curls into him, and Kibum rests his hand on Donghae's head.
"They're going to be fine," Kangin says, and because Kangin says it, it's going to be true.
"Is Ryeowook in Kyuhyun's room?" Yehsung asks, slowly letting go of Eeteuk's hand.
"They're not letting anyone in to see him yet," Kangin shakes his head.
"He's probably gone to see Shindong, then. I'm going to go find him." Yehsung gets to his feet like it hurts to stand.
Kibum catches his hand as he passes, and squeezes. Yehsung squeezes back.
"Can we go see Hyuk now?" Donghae asks softly.
"Yeah."
"You've started at a new school, haven't you?"
"Yeah."
"Are you enjoying it?"
"... The people are cool. We play WOW after school. They have a server."
"Do you find you have less time to yourself?"
"Sometimes."
"Do you resent that?"
"No."
Kibum hits a button on his answering machine and shrugs off his coat. There is a beep, and it informs him he has six new messages.
The first is from his manager, reminding him that he has a casting tomorrow.
The second is also from his manager, reminding him that he has a casting tomorrow and that the script for the casting is on his kitchen counter.
The third is from Yehsung, and makes no sense, though Kibum is sure that Yehsung finds whatever it is he said extremely hilarious.
The fourth is from his manager again, bringing forward the time of the casting by a few hours and reminding Kibum that the script is on his kitchen counter.
The fifth is from Donghae.
"WHERE ARE YOU? Did the aliens get you? Why don't you come over anymore? Why do you hate us? Come back, Bummie, or I'll have to make Kyuhyun build me a space ship and rescue you myself."
"He probably doesn't come over because you're always talking about aliens." Eunhyuk's voice.
"They're real! I have irresponsible evidence!"
"Kibum, if the aliens really did get to you, they're doing you a favour. Just stay put and pray for the rest of us." Kyuhyun's voice.
"Hey! This is my phonecall! Make y-"
The last one is also from Donghae.
"Ran out of time." He sounds sheepish. "Seriously, come back. I miss you."
"Kibum and Donghae, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G~"
Kibum chuckles as the beep cuts off Sungmin's voice.
"How long has it been since you had your last episode?"
"I don't remember."
"Do you remember what it was about?"
Kibum walks in on Eeteuk in tears, and Kangin's face full of dark thunder. Heechul's hands are curled, fisted. Eunhyuk is pale, Shindong is quiet, Sungmin isn't smiling, and Yehsung isn't even there.
Hankyung has tears in his eyes, but his shoulders are rigid, and he stands in front of six people like a shield. The room is divided.
"This has to happen," Sooman says, not unkindly. "It's for the best. At the end of it, we'll have the China market and you can have better album sales. You'll have a chance to reach more people."
"You're moving them to China," Heechul's voice is harsh. "What are the rest of us going to do? Sit around and wait for them to bring home the bacon?"
"Chul," Eeteuk is still authoritative, even in his despair. Kangin rests his hand on Eeteuk's shoulder.
"What's happening?" Sungmin asks in a small voice.
Kibum doesn't know.
"Did you have closure?"
"Closure?"
"Sometimes with fantasies, it's important to have some sort of ending, a conclusion, so you don't relapse."
"I don't... I don't think there was one."
"How would you have ended it?"
"We are Super Junior," they shout, and it's for the last time. There isn't a dry eye in the audience full of sapphire blue balloons, and Eeteuk is too choked up to lead the boys off the stage, so Kangin does it.
They stand in the corridor, some crying, some not, and it's awkward, and it's horrible, and it's how it has to be.
No one wants to leave. Kibum doesn't, either. This is Super Junior, and they have never let him down.
"We could stay together," Ryeowook says. "No one said we have to break up."
"We can go back," Yehsung says. "Be perfect again."
"It's us," Shindong says. "It's Super Junior."
"We're forever," Kyuhyun nods.
"We're Super Junior," Donghae says.
"We're Super Junior," Heechul says.
"We're Super Junior," Eunhyuk, Kangin says.
"We're Super Junior," SungminSiwonHankyung says.
"We're Super Junior," Eeteuk says.
They turn to him, they're almost in a circle, and they turn to him, waiting for him to complete it. Kibum hesitates.
"Kibum?" Donghae asks softly, holding out his hand.
"Let's schedule a few more sessions."
"I think it's over."
"Still, I think it would be better if..."
"Like you said, I made it up because I wasn't happy. I'm better now."
"Certainly, you have new friends, a new start. It's all conducive to your treatment, but I really think a few more sessions will help."
"I'm fine."
"Kibum?" Donghae asks softly, holding out his hand.
"Yeah," Kibum smiles, taking it.