WIAYEEBN 9
Title:When I’m Around You Everything Else Becomes Nothing - 9/?
Author: minus_four
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryden
POV: 1st, Ryan's
Summary: Brendon's mourning (well, kinda) and to cheer him up Ryan lets him try something new.
Disclaimer: Not real (you know, probably…)
Author Notes: Thanks to everyone who comments, you guys are awesome <3
Warnings: Rimming
Previous chapters under the cut:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
The break in the tour was over and we were back on the road again heading to another show in another city. No matter how exhausting it is I've always liked touring. You can read as many good reviews on your record as you like but the only review I'll ever really believe is the one we get from playing live shows. You can see how much all those people in the crowd just love the music and it is such a fucking high. Brendon enjoys the fame; all the screaming and flashing lights, but it was never about that for me. Don't get me wrong - I mean it doesn't exactly suck, but some things are just more important.
Like the reason why I could see Spencer and Jon standing out in the cold as I came back from the restroom. Despite the season, out here in the middle of nowhere it was pretty breezy and not exactly warm. I might not have been worried if it wasn't for the fact that they weren't even making out; something was definitely wrong.
"What's happened?" I demand as soon I reach them, searching both of their faces for some clue as to the situation. I'd only been gone for five minutes for Christ's sake and I couldn't imagine any reason, apart from the obvious that is, for them to be out there freezing their balls off. Neither of them will look at me and Jon's scuffing the floor with his flip flops like a guilty six year old, so I know they've done something. "Where's Brendon?"
"In the bus," Spencer says to the dusty tarmac, still staring at his feet.
"And why are you out here?" I ask, trying not to get too frustrated as I slowly tease the answer out of them.
"He told us to get out because he hates us forever and he's going to find a new drummer and bassist," I can barely make out the words as Jon mumbles, frowning sadly as he finally meets my gaze. "He was really mad."
"What the hell did you guys do?" The atmosphere on tour can get kind of heated with all of us sharing such tight quarters but over the years we've learnt to tolerate pretty much anything from each other so I find myself wondering if this is some kind of elaborate prank.
When I finally get Spencer to spit it out I understand the situation completely.
"But, it was an accident, right?" I sigh and they both nod enthusiastically. "While you were making out?" I raise an eyebrow and their eyes immediately drop back to the floor guiltily and I shake my head, disappointed. "I'll go and talk to him. You stay out here and think about what you've done," somehow I just about manage to keep the grin from my face until I step back onto the bus, heading for the lounge area at the back.
The smile disappears from my face as soon as I see Brendon curled up on the couch, sobbing quietly as he cradles his pride and joy gently in his hands.
"He's dead, Ry. They killed him."
"Oh Bren," I'm by his side instantly, stroking the tears from his cheeks with my thumb, "it's okay, we can get a new one if you want."
"Are you insane?" Brendon looks at me disbelievingly. "I can't replace Quirkus!"
I run my hand through my hair and sigh heavily, trying to figure out how to best handle this situation. During the 'Nothing Rhymes With Circus' tour a fan had randomly left a cactus in our room backstage. Whereas I was slightly creeped out by this, Brendon adopted it, naming 'him' Quirkus because it rhymes with circus and he thought it was the funniest thing ever. Ergo, Quirkus became Panic's official mascot which Brendon took with us wherever we went. Really, it made a good pet for Brendon as his short attention span meant that he might forget to water Quirkus for weeks but it wouldn't matter.
I didn't, however, think that the little cactus could survive being snapped completely in two.
"How did it happen?" I ask, putting a comforting arm around Brendon's neck.
"Those hormone crazed morons were thrashing about back here and they must have knocked Quirkus off his shelf onto the couch," Brendon sniffs, using his head to indicate a dirty patch of soil on one of the cushions, "then Spencer squashed him with his stupid ass while Jon was molesting him," he explains, pouting down at the two halves of the long stem of the cactus, the smaller part still buried in the pot.
"That must've hurt," I frown at the four lines of sharp pricks running up the plant, meeting at the top. "A lot, depending on how upright it was. He - I mean he," I correct myself quickly seeing the look on Brendon's face.
"Good! I hope it did hurt!" Brendon stamps his foot and I have to focus very hard on not yelling at him to stop acting like a child, reminding myself that this is Brendon; sometimes he is a child. Instead, I simply tighten my hold around his neck, keeping my left hand making reassuring movements on his shoulder and use my right hand to slowly take the broken plant from him to place it on the floor. If I didn't, I knew Brendon would sit in the corner all night, sulking while he clutched it protectively in his hands.
"It was an accident, Bren," I say, pulling him into my chest and kissing the top of his head. "They didn't mean to do it."
"Mm," is the only reply I get from Brendon, who has buried his face into my shirt - nice, I think, making a face. I love Brendon, but not so much having his most likely snotty nose in one of my favorite shirts.
"So you don't want to get a new cactus then?" I question carefully and Brendon makes me jump at the speed at which he moves back far enough to look at me excitedly, eyes almost scarily wide.
"I want to get a puppy, Ry," he says quickly. "He can be ours and we'll call him Pete."
"Uh..." Brendon's voice is so excited I nearly agree without thinking. "Maybe one day Bren, but it’s not really fair to have a dog on tour or to leave him anywhere else for a long time, is it?"
"I guess not," my sigh of relief matches his dejected one, thankful that I wasn't about to have to deal with a second Brendon breakdown. "And I'm guessing that a kitten's out too?"
"Yeah Bren, sorry," I smile apologetically and reach up to play with his hair, clumps of which are now sticking up at odd angles. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
"Well..." Brendon thinks for a second with a smile finally creeping onto his face before shaking his head. "No, don't worry about it."
"What?" I nudge my thigh against his, anxious to help Brendon any way I can.
"I want to do something different, in the bedroom," he pauses, frowning slightly, "or bunk, I guess."
"Like what?" I mirror his expression, slightly worried as to what Brendon means as he seems so nervous about asking me. I know he's more experienced than me; I'd only had sex with a handful of girls before we got together, and nothing more, interesting, than straightforward sex. If Brendon thought something was weird, it probably was.
"I want to rim you," Brendon blurts out. "But, you know, only if you're okay with it."
"Is that all?" I laugh at how silly Brendon can be sometimes. Sweet, but silly. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it?"
"I just know you're not, you know... experienced," Brendon scratches the back of his neck, clearly slightly uncomfortable which makes me want to laugh again. We've never really talked about our sex life, we just kind of fell into it. And happily kept falling.
"I hadn't had sex with a guy before you and you didn't seem to have any trouble helping me to experience that," I tease, grinning. "Just assume I'm okay with anything you want to show me unless I stop you, okay?"
"Okay," Brendon grins back, making me wonder what I've just let myself in for. "Tonight?"
"What about - oh shit, we left them outside!" I gasp, rushing down the tiny corridor past the bunks to yank the door open. Seeing Jon and Spencer clinging to each other for warmth (though with those two it’s probably only the secondary reason), I don't waste any time in pulling them up the steps and telling the driver we're good to go. "Um, yeah, sorry guys."
"We deserved it," Jon shrugs good naturedly while Spencer just punches me in the arm and heads back to sit with Brendon.
"Sorry about Quirkus," Spencer pats him on the shoulder.
"Yeah," Brendon nods, not nearly as upset as he was. "You guys still going out later?"
"Uh, yeah," Spencer looks to Jon for confirmation before replying.
"If we get there in time," Jon cuts in, looking at me.
"What?" I stare back at him.
"What the hell were you doing in that bathroom, Ry? I mean, we might not have gotten so distracted if you hadn't taken so long."
"Shut up, Walker," I stick my tongue out at Jon, knowing he's only joking, "or I'll start asking what you both were doing when we stopped this morning," I laugh as Spencer turns to glare at Jon, who moves away into the corner out of the drummer's reach and coughs before hastily changing the subject.
"So what are you guys going to do tonight?"
"Oh, probably just a quiet night in," Brendon answers, glancing over to wink at me.
Or not so quiet, I think, trying to keep myself from grinning at the look in Brendon's eyes.
Lying naked together in my bunk tonight, for the first time in our relationship Brendon and I are... awkward. We'd never really decided to do a certain thing before, it had just happened. One of us would start and the other went along with it.
So I was waiting for Brendon to start.
"Is everything okay?" I finally ask, conscious that the other guys would get back eventually.
"Of course," Brendon replies. "I'm just preparing myself, mentally."
I have to fight a suddenly strong urge to laugh even though Brendon's tone is completely serious.
"Oh," I manage to say instead. "How come?"
"I haven't done this before, myself I mean," Brendon turns his head from staring at the ceiling to look at me. "I want to do good."
"Just go with it, Bren," I shift over to kiss him, just slipping my tongue in his mouth before pulling back. "It's not like I'm going to know otherwise," I say jokingly as I smile.
Smiling back at me Brendon moves carefully in the small space until he's on top of me, thighs either side of my own as he deepens our embrace, kissing me passionately with his fingers tangled in my hair until we need to break apart just to breathe. Without skipping more than a beat Brendon begins working his way down my body, sucking at my neck, tongue teasing at my nipples, kissing my abdomen gently till he's as far down the bunk as he can get, on his knees in between my legs. I edge myself back slightly so my head is touching the wall, giving Brendon as much room as possible.
After locking eyes with me once last time Brendon slips his fingers around my thighs and in one long stroking motion runs his hands up to my knees and bends my legs up towards my chest, giving him access to my entrance. My cock already half hard in anticipation, the first thing I feel is Brendon's hands moving in between my thighs and his thumbs spreading me open even wider.
He trails soft kisses down my thigh until his breath is hot against my hole and I sense more than hear him whisper an I love you before Brendon’s lips start just grazing at my entrance, kissing at it tenderly and I know he’s been wanting this for while. Realising how much Brendon is into this just turns me on more and I’m suddenly breathing harder, desperate for more sensation than the teasing touch of his lips.
At the sound of the tiny whine that escapes my throat I feel Brendon laugh against my skin as he tightens the grip of his thumbs slightly before his tongue finally flicks out to drag across the opening. I squirm at the burst of new sensation, still needing more.
“Inside, I want - please Bren,” I’m shocked at the sudden roughness of desire in my voice, but I can hear the same tone echoed in Brendon’s reply.
“Hook your hands behind your knees,” he says steadily, instructing me, “so you can spread yourself wide for me.”
His voice is so thick with want and promise my cock becomes painfully hard, straining towards my stomach as I quickly do as he asks while he pushes the tips of his thumbs just slightly into my hole so he can start to work the tip of his tongue into the tight muscle of my hole.
My spine arches and I wish I could shift my body down the bed just to feel Brendon penetrate me deeper but he’s in control, holding me still as he slowly slides in and out against my loosening inner walls. His tongue is slick and warm inside me and every movement makes me writhe under his hold, every nerve is sparking and I just want -
“More, more please Bren,” I’m begging now but I don’t even care. “Jesus, Bren,” I moan loudly as he lines up his tongue, pushing in firmly as I open up and he’s right inside me.
It feels so fucking amazing I’m not sure I can take it. “Bren, God, Bren I’m going to-” the words are snatched from my throat as I come without even touching my cock. As I choke my way through the orgasm I let one hand reach down as Brendon crawls up to lie beside me and he’s so turned on all it takes is a couple of strokes before he’s jerking against me, his come mixing with mine on my stomach.
“Bren, that was…” I pant as we come down together.
“I know,” Brendon’s gasping along with me, still grinning like an idiot.
“So then,” I smile back and lean over hazily to kiss his lips, completely sated, “any other new things you’ve been wanting to try?”
Author: minus_four
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Ryden
POV: 1st, Ryan's
Summary: Brendon's mourning (well, kinda) and to cheer him up Ryan lets him try something new.
Disclaimer: Not real (you know, probably…)
Author Notes: Thanks to everyone who comments, you guys are awesome <3
Warnings: Rimming
Previous chapters under the cut:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
The break in the tour was over and we were back on the road again heading to another show in another city. No matter how exhausting it is I've always liked touring. You can read as many good reviews on your record as you like but the only review I'll ever really believe is the one we get from playing live shows. You can see how much all those people in the crowd just love the music and it is such a fucking high. Brendon enjoys the fame; all the screaming and flashing lights, but it was never about that for me. Don't get me wrong - I mean it doesn't exactly suck, but some things are just more important.
Like the reason why I could see Spencer and Jon standing out in the cold as I came back from the restroom. Despite the season, out here in the middle of nowhere it was pretty breezy and not exactly warm. I might not have been worried if it wasn't for the fact that they weren't even making out; something was definitely wrong.
"What's happened?" I demand as soon I reach them, searching both of their faces for some clue as to the situation. I'd only been gone for five minutes for Christ's sake and I couldn't imagine any reason, apart from the obvious that is, for them to be out there freezing their balls off. Neither of them will look at me and Jon's scuffing the floor with his flip flops like a guilty six year old, so I know they've done something. "Where's Brendon?"
"In the bus," Spencer says to the dusty tarmac, still staring at his feet.
"And why are you out here?" I ask, trying not to get too frustrated as I slowly tease the answer out of them.
"He told us to get out because he hates us forever and he's going to find a new drummer and bassist," I can barely make out the words as Jon mumbles, frowning sadly as he finally meets my gaze. "He was really mad."
"What the hell did you guys do?" The atmosphere on tour can get kind of heated with all of us sharing such tight quarters but over the years we've learnt to tolerate pretty much anything from each other so I find myself wondering if this is some kind of elaborate prank.
When I finally get Spencer to spit it out I understand the situation completely.
"But, it was an accident, right?" I sigh and they both nod enthusiastically. "While you were making out?" I raise an eyebrow and their eyes immediately drop back to the floor guiltily and I shake my head, disappointed. "I'll go and talk to him. You stay out here and think about what you've done," somehow I just about manage to keep the grin from my face until I step back onto the bus, heading for the lounge area at the back.
The smile disappears from my face as soon as I see Brendon curled up on the couch, sobbing quietly as he cradles his pride and joy gently in his hands.
"He's dead, Ry. They killed him."
"Oh Bren," I'm by his side instantly, stroking the tears from his cheeks with my thumb, "it's okay, we can get a new one if you want."
"Are you insane?" Brendon looks at me disbelievingly. "I can't replace Quirkus!"
I run my hand through my hair and sigh heavily, trying to figure out how to best handle this situation. During the 'Nothing Rhymes With Circus' tour a fan had randomly left a cactus in our room backstage. Whereas I was slightly creeped out by this, Brendon adopted it, naming 'him' Quirkus because it rhymes with circus and he thought it was the funniest thing ever. Ergo, Quirkus became Panic's official mascot which Brendon took with us wherever we went. Really, it made a good pet for Brendon as his short attention span meant that he might forget to water Quirkus for weeks but it wouldn't matter.
I didn't, however, think that the little cactus could survive being snapped completely in two.
"How did it happen?" I ask, putting a comforting arm around Brendon's neck.
"Those hormone crazed morons were thrashing about back here and they must have knocked Quirkus off his shelf onto the couch," Brendon sniffs, using his head to indicate a dirty patch of soil on one of the cushions, "then Spencer squashed him with his stupid ass while Jon was molesting him," he explains, pouting down at the two halves of the long stem of the cactus, the smaller part still buried in the pot.
"That must've hurt," I frown at the four lines of sharp pricks running up the plant, meeting at the top. "A lot, depending on how upright it was. He - I mean he," I correct myself quickly seeing the look on Brendon's face.
"Good! I hope it did hurt!" Brendon stamps his foot and I have to focus very hard on not yelling at him to stop acting like a child, reminding myself that this is Brendon; sometimes he is a child. Instead, I simply tighten my hold around his neck, keeping my left hand making reassuring movements on his shoulder and use my right hand to slowly take the broken plant from him to place it on the floor. If I didn't, I knew Brendon would sit in the corner all night, sulking while he clutched it protectively in his hands.
"It was an accident, Bren," I say, pulling him into my chest and kissing the top of his head. "They didn't mean to do it."
"Mm," is the only reply I get from Brendon, who has buried his face into my shirt - nice, I think, making a face. I love Brendon, but not so much having his most likely snotty nose in one of my favorite shirts.
"So you don't want to get a new cactus then?" I question carefully and Brendon makes me jump at the speed at which he moves back far enough to look at me excitedly, eyes almost scarily wide.
"I want to get a puppy, Ry," he says quickly. "He can be ours and we'll call him Pete."
"Uh..." Brendon's voice is so excited I nearly agree without thinking. "Maybe one day Bren, but it’s not really fair to have a dog on tour or to leave him anywhere else for a long time, is it?"
"I guess not," my sigh of relief matches his dejected one, thankful that I wasn't about to have to deal with a second Brendon breakdown. "And I'm guessing that a kitten's out too?"
"Yeah Bren, sorry," I smile apologetically and reach up to play with his hair, clumps of which are now sticking up at odd angles. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
"Well..." Brendon thinks for a second with a smile finally creeping onto his face before shaking his head. "No, don't worry about it."
"What?" I nudge my thigh against his, anxious to help Brendon any way I can.
"I want to do something different, in the bedroom," he pauses, frowning slightly, "or bunk, I guess."
"Like what?" I mirror his expression, slightly worried as to what Brendon means as he seems so nervous about asking me. I know he's more experienced than me; I'd only had sex with a handful of girls before we got together, and nothing more, interesting, than straightforward sex. If Brendon thought something was weird, it probably was.
"I want to rim you," Brendon blurts out. "But, you know, only if you're okay with it."
"Is that all?" I laugh at how silly Brendon can be sometimes. Sweet, but silly. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it?"
"I just know you're not, you know... experienced," Brendon scratches the back of his neck, clearly slightly uncomfortable which makes me want to laugh again. We've never really talked about our sex life, we just kind of fell into it. And happily kept falling.
"I hadn't had sex with a guy before you and you didn't seem to have any trouble helping me to experience that," I tease, grinning. "Just assume I'm okay with anything you want to show me unless I stop you, okay?"
"Okay," Brendon grins back, making me wonder what I've just let myself in for. "Tonight?"
"What about - oh shit, we left them outside!" I gasp, rushing down the tiny corridor past the bunks to yank the door open. Seeing Jon and Spencer clinging to each other for warmth (though with those two it’s probably only the secondary reason), I don't waste any time in pulling them up the steps and telling the driver we're good to go. "Um, yeah, sorry guys."
"We deserved it," Jon shrugs good naturedly while Spencer just punches me in the arm and heads back to sit with Brendon.
"Sorry about Quirkus," Spencer pats him on the shoulder.
"Yeah," Brendon nods, not nearly as upset as he was. "You guys still going out later?"
"Uh, yeah," Spencer looks to Jon for confirmation before replying.
"If we get there in time," Jon cuts in, looking at me.
"What?" I stare back at him.
"What the hell were you doing in that bathroom, Ry? I mean, we might not have gotten so distracted if you hadn't taken so long."
"Shut up, Walker," I stick my tongue out at Jon, knowing he's only joking, "or I'll start asking what you both were doing when we stopped this morning," I laugh as Spencer turns to glare at Jon, who moves away into the corner out of the drummer's reach and coughs before hastily changing the subject.
"So what are you guys going to do tonight?"
"Oh, probably just a quiet night in," Brendon answers, glancing over to wink at me.
Or not so quiet, I think, trying to keep myself from grinning at the look in Brendon's eyes.
Lying naked together in my bunk tonight, for the first time in our relationship Brendon and I are... awkward. We'd never really decided to do a certain thing before, it had just happened. One of us would start and the other went along with it.
So I was waiting for Brendon to start.
"Is everything okay?" I finally ask, conscious that the other guys would get back eventually.
"Of course," Brendon replies. "I'm just preparing myself, mentally."
I have to fight a suddenly strong urge to laugh even though Brendon's tone is completely serious.
"Oh," I manage to say instead. "How come?"
"I haven't done this before, myself I mean," Brendon turns his head from staring at the ceiling to look at me. "I want to do good."
"Just go with it, Bren," I shift over to kiss him, just slipping my tongue in his mouth before pulling back. "It's not like I'm going to know otherwise," I say jokingly as I smile.
Smiling back at me Brendon moves carefully in the small space until he's on top of me, thighs either side of my own as he deepens our embrace, kissing me passionately with his fingers tangled in my hair until we need to break apart just to breathe. Without skipping more than a beat Brendon begins working his way down my body, sucking at my neck, tongue teasing at my nipples, kissing my abdomen gently till he's as far down the bunk as he can get, on his knees in between my legs. I edge myself back slightly so my head is touching the wall, giving Brendon as much room as possible.
After locking eyes with me once last time Brendon slips his fingers around my thighs and in one long stroking motion runs his hands up to my knees and bends my legs up towards my chest, giving him access to my entrance. My cock already half hard in anticipation, the first thing I feel is Brendon's hands moving in between my thighs and his thumbs spreading me open even wider.
He trails soft kisses down my thigh until his breath is hot against my hole and I sense more than hear him whisper an I love you before Brendon’s lips start just grazing at my entrance, kissing at it tenderly and I know he’s been wanting this for while. Realising how much Brendon is into this just turns me on more and I’m suddenly breathing harder, desperate for more sensation than the teasing touch of his lips.
At the sound of the tiny whine that escapes my throat I feel Brendon laugh against my skin as he tightens the grip of his thumbs slightly before his tongue finally flicks out to drag across the opening. I squirm at the burst of new sensation, still needing more.
“Inside, I want - please Bren,” I’m shocked at the sudden roughness of desire in my voice, but I can hear the same tone echoed in Brendon’s reply.
“Hook your hands behind your knees,” he says steadily, instructing me, “so you can spread yourself wide for me.”
His voice is so thick with want and promise my cock becomes painfully hard, straining towards my stomach as I quickly do as he asks while he pushes the tips of his thumbs just slightly into my hole so he can start to work the tip of his tongue into the tight muscle of my hole.
My spine arches and I wish I could shift my body down the bed just to feel Brendon penetrate me deeper but he’s in control, holding me still as he slowly slides in and out against my loosening inner walls. His tongue is slick and warm inside me and every movement makes me writhe under his hold, every nerve is sparking and I just want -
“More, more please Bren,” I’m begging now but I don’t even care. “Jesus, Bren,” I moan loudly as he lines up his tongue, pushing in firmly as I open up and he’s right inside me.
It feels so fucking amazing I’m not sure I can take it. “Bren, God, Bren I’m going to-” the words are snatched from my throat as I come without even touching my cock. As I choke my way through the orgasm I let one hand reach down as Brendon crawls up to lie beside me and he’s so turned on all it takes is a couple of strokes before he’s jerking against me, his come mixing with mine on my stomach.
“Bren, that was…” I pant as we come down together.
“I know,” Brendon’s gasping along with me, still grinning like an idiot.
“So then,” I smile back and lean over hazily to kiss his lips, completely sated, “any other new things you’ve been wanting to try?”