fic: signal fire (kara/lee) prologue
Title: Signal Fire
Rating: PG/PG-13 For some strong language and adult themes.
Spoilers:All Seasons, All Episodes.
Summary: Kara and Lee get one last chance to be together. Begins the moment after Daybreak II, on the hill where Kara didn’t say goodbye.
Author's Note: My first fan fiction ever. I loved Kara and Lee for years and Daybreak II broke my heart. I knew I had to fix it, at least in my mind, and started daydreaming. I knew the end I wanted pretty quickly, but all that came before took me time. I had to have my story acknowledge all canon (as frustrating and nonsensical as it became in Season 4) because I’ve never been clever enough to do the mental hand-wave thing. Once something is on my television screen, it's stuck in my head and I just have to find a way to deal. This is mine. It’s my sincere wish that it will bring a little enjoyment to at least one shipper.
Status: Complete (Prologue+11 Chapters+ Epilogue)
Word Count: 33,870 (Total Story)
Special thanks to placeofthunder, my sister, who encouraged me every step of the way.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing.
Prologue
Note: The one and only thing I’ve changed in canon is that they never flew all the ships into the sun with Sam and gave up all technology. That’s ridiculous. Sam went on to guide the centurions through the galaxy. The ships that were set to autopilot themselves into the blazing sun were first stripped for supplies and parts. The ones that weren’t were kept for shelter on New Earth.
___________________________
He stood there for quite a while. The sun continued to rise in the sky, higher and higher. It was so new, so bright, he had to put up a hand to shield his eyes. His fingers slid down, over lashes and cheekbone, erasing the tears-not the pain.
It occurred to him then that for the first time in his life, he had not one thing to do, not one place to go, and no one to care when he got there.
He knew that it should feel good, should feel right. To relax and live and let down his guard. To finally lay his burdens down. It didn’t. It felt like…
Lee dropped to his knees and slowly slid back on his elbows, stretching out until he lay spread on the grass with only the sky above. Nothing around, and nothing below. Just blue. It made him dizzy and he shut his sore eyes.
…it felt a lot like dying. Like the numbness of floating through space, watching resurrection being destroyed before him, while he drifted aimlessly through black space, powerless to effect the outcome.
He opened his eyes and glanced at the place where she had last stood, where resurrection had been and was now gone. The blades of grass smelled sweet, brushed his face. The wind whispered it was over, that he could be happy now. He didn’t want to hear the lies. He laid there until the sky grew black, or maybe his eyes had drifted shut, or maybe….maybe nothing at all…
___________________________________________
The sound of birds calling off in the distance stirred him from the deepest sleep he’d ever had.
Birds? There aren’t any birds in space…
At least not the kind without turbo-thrust engines.
Lee opened his eyes only a little, squinting against the bright light. He awakened slowly, moment by moment; found himself alone in a field at the break of day.
A new day, a new world.
It was profound in theory, but painful in practice.
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life, Lee.”
He pushed himself up off the ground in small increments. He didn’t need to look around this time; wouldn’t go looking for her. No need.
The hot heaviness in his chest pushed down on him, wouldn’t let him get up. He fought against it. His shoulders ached, there was no feeling in the arm he’d thrown above his head at some point during the night. The arm was numb, dead.
“So what about you? What are you going to do?”
He shook the arm out as he stood, rotating shoulder blades and stretching limbs. He made a fist and the feeling returned. Little stings at first, then the burn.
“I just know that I am done here.”
Lee shoved the thought away, he didn’t want it. Didn’t want the burn. Better the numbness instead. He shuffled back in the direction he knew the camp would be. He didn’t want to go there, there was nothing there for him. Not even his father would greet him there, share the bad news with him as he’d done on New Caprica. Even his dad’s clueless camaraderie would be a welcome relief right now. But where else could he go?
He could see colonials and cylons alike, off in the distance-building new homes, building new lives. People busy like ants, to and fro, walking from ship to ship. Children played together in little groupings, running and laughing. Some of them were so young, they might not have ever seen the sky from below before. They’d never tasted dirt, smelled the grass.
Some had already lit fires and were collecting more wood for various reasons, others were more focused on putting to use the comforts they already had. Lee wondered how many of the ships would stay right where they were while a city went up around them. Perhaps their descendants would one day visit the “Gemenon Traveler Museum” and marvel at how long the structure had been sitting on that piece of land.
Maybe one day… if they survived long enough to have descendants.
They would have to learn to track, to hunt, to grow their own food. They would have to teach their trades to those willing to come behind. Schools would have to be assembled, hospitals would need to be built, proper shelter would need to be constructed. There would be an immediate need for weapons and medicine development. And of course, a sound government would need to be pulled together as soon as possible. Perhaps a government more democratic than constitutional this time?
Lee scrubbed at his face with the palms of his hands. It was too much. And the worst part was, he didn’t even think he cared.
“So what about you? What are you going to do?”
He stumbled toward his tent, set a little apart from the others. Two squealing little girls chasing a dirt-smeared tiny boy ran past as he entered the shadow of his flimsy shelter. Several men, talking loudly and excitedly made their way around him, hauling a large tree trunk between them.
In many ways, it was already a city. There were already neighbors, already communities.
He placed a hand on the corner pole of the tent and watch them all for a moment. He could just make out Helo and Athena in the distance, busy preparing some dead carcass that had met the business end of their side arms. Hera flitted nearby, slowly edging farther and farther away from them with each twirl. Lee had an irrational urge to march up to them and tell them not to look away. To keep their eyes on the girl.
Don’t let her out of your sight. Don’t let her disappear.
The inane chant echoed in his head over and over as he dropped his hand and ducked under the tent’s cover. It was cool and dark here. He sat down heavily on the floor, one arm hanging across a bent knee, and stared straight ahead. And there was Kara’s gear, lay strewn across the side of the tent. Her rucksack left open to reveal clothing, provisions, books, papers, the personal effects of a person who had never really been there.
He fought for his next breath, found it, and rose up off the ground. A glimmer of tarnished gold lying in the corner of her bag had caught his eye.
He reached in, hand trembling just a little, and pulled out the tiny statue.
Goddess of the dawn… she brings the morning star and a fair wind. A fresh start.
He stared at the symbol of hope with blurred vision, then carefully slipped it into his pocket.
How could he enjoy a fresh start in a world without her in it? Why would he even want to?
He should probably go clean up now. He should probably go find Lampkin. He should see to it that Tigh knew that Lee’s father was gone and he wasn’t coming back. He should eat something, gather something, build something…
He lay down on the ground with her gear at his back. Perhaps he should, but he wouldn’t. Not today. He would give himself this one day to grieve. The world building could begin tomorrow.
________________________________________
“Dammit,” Lee swore, then hissed, then finally just threw the soaked rag down and gave into the pain.
What had he been thinking? Lee Adama, the Great Explorer, indeed. He’d fallen off a low cliff on his first try.
“There is almost absolutely-I’m almost positive-that is to say-there is undoubtedly going to be some sort of valuable ore in those low mountains to the eastern horizon,” the man of science had volunteered. And Lee had taken it upon himself to go and check it out. Alone.
“Gaius Frakkin’ Baltar,” he muttered fiercely.
“I’ll drink to that.” The gravelly voice startled Lee out his private misery. He looked up in time to see Saul Tigh ducking through the open tent flap. The once colonel helped himself to a seat on the hard ground next to Lee and his scattering of first aid supplies.
Lee went back to cleaning the ugly gash in his shin, “You’d drink to anything.”
A conceding grunt was his only reply as Tigh unbuttoned his jacket and settled in for what was clearly going to be a long chat. Lee had witnessed an abundance of those lately. Even though there was more to do now than ever, the sense of life or death urgency was gone, leading to lots of idle chatter and mingling among the colonists. Lee hadn’t pegged Tigh for the visiting type, though.
He waited for the older man to get right to the point. Tigh did not disappoint.
“So, heard anything from Bill, yet?” There was a deep sadness in the former XO’s gaze but Lee wasn’t feeling particularly touchy feely at the moment.
“Oh, sure,” He threw down the rag again and reached over to snatch up a half-empty bottle of iodine. “In fact, I have him on the line right now, should I patch you through?”
Tigh made a familiar expression of distaste and looked away.
“I see some things about you haven’t changed, Apollo,” he drew out some kind of cigarette and contemplated it with his one eye, rolling it between his fingers.
“Sorry,” Lee returned quietly, no emotion evident. He tore a strip of linen off of a rapidly diminishing spool, “I know you miss him, too.” He looked up and caught Tigh’s eye, acknowledging the common ground.
Another grunt was his only reward, but the bond was there now. They didn’t have to speak of it again.
“You’re keeping to yourself a lot these days,” Saul continued after a long silence. He pulled out a lighter and lit his cigarette.
“Not much of an alternative, is there?” Lee shot back, but without any real heat.
Tigh took a long appreciative drag, exhaled the smoke and nodded, ”I don’t suppose there is.”
Another silence passed as Lee tied up the ends of his make-shift bandage and began gathering up the supplies. This time the silence was expectant, as if the old man were deciding how much he should say. Lee grew still and waited patiently.
Tigh finally spoke again, looking him right in the eye, “One day, son, losing her won’t hurt so bad. You’ll wake up, and the thought of her won’t make you want to take your own life. That’s when you know the healing’s begun.”
Lee clenched his jaw, felt his eyes grow hot with that familiar burn. He ran a hand over his jaw and nodded, looking away.
“How long?”
Another pull on the cigarette, another silence finally broken, “Everyone’s different.”
“I can’t imagine what that felt like-to get her back,” Lee was embarrassed to hear his voice falter; continued stronger, ”…and keep her.” He smiled as sincerely as he could.
It was Tigh’s turn to look uncomfortable. He stared down at the cigarette in his hand as he spoke, ” If you ever need to talk, Lee-”
Lee nodded, cutting in and letting him off the hook, “Thanks.” He breathed in raggedly, quietly; kept his face in profile.
They sat there in companionable silence for a while longer.
“There’s not even a grave; nowhere to go to remember. She’s just...gone.” A rough whisper, given with his face turned to the world outside.
Saul remained silent, there was nothing to say.
Chapter One