back to seoul
back to seoul
Jaejoong/Changmin, others (random SuJu + CSJH the Grace people :|); G; AU; 2400 w. approx.
Jaejoong's a musician, a singer, and one of his favourite jobs is playing piano in a jazz club two streets away from Changmin's house.
Um, thank you for helping me out and listening to my endless whining, Tilly, Cheska, whoever else I bothered. :| ♥ For Clare procreational. I love you so much but you know that. ♥ Happy late birthday!! And thank you junkojjang for the title. :)
When Changmin's fifteen, he's the new student with the fumbling fingers and awkward stance, one of the few who hasn't grown into his new height yet, like a bird that has to keep its wings bound to its body. The teacher's eyes are a blur, her smile sticky with lipstick, and she asks him to introduce himself. When he's done (Shim Changmin, fifteen, from the southern part of Seoul, and hardly anyone is looking at him), the classroom is still the same, students half-asleep and bored, throwing paper planes at each other's heads. Changmin is sent to the back of the class, to sit next to a girl who has a wrinkled skirt and a boy whose head is laid on top of his English textbook. He spends the rest of the hour doodling math signs and writing notes as the teacher drones on with another welcome back to school. He falls asleep staring at the clock and thinking about hours spent hovering over textbooks, holding his mother's hand on her hospital bed, and Seoul with its closed windows and city-cool air.
A boy who is almost as tall as Changmin wakes him up, hand soft on his shoulder. He says his name is Yunho, and does Changmin need someone to show him around? Changmin thinks that he doesn't really, but he doesn't know how to say no to this boy's kind face and open smile, and he's been taught to be grateful, so he says okay. Changmin follows Yunho to the cafeteria, feeling awkward in his long limbs and new hair, like he's put on a coat that's too big for him and he's not sure how he should unbutton it. It's because this is a new school, and Changmin's never been good at this, meeting new people or saying goodbye to old ones.
Yunho introduces him to Junsu and Bora, his best friend and his girlfriend, and it's not like he says that they're his best friend and his girlfriend, but Changmin can tell. Junsu talks a lot, excitedly and with his face brightening, about soccer and singing and some kid named Hyukjae, and Bora has a dorky smile and holds Yunho's hand under the table. Yunho doesn't talk a lot, Changmin notices, but people try to talk to him a lot, and he smiles kind of like he doesn't know what to do with the attention. Changmin likes him right from the beginning.
Lunch is kimchi jjigae and towards the end of it, Changmin looks up when he hears shouting. There are two boys, and the one who was doing the shouting, his name is Yoochun, Yunho says. Junsu tackles him and they both collapse onto the floor, eventually leading to a crowd of people surrounding them, shouting things like fight, fight, fight! and with them both coming out with flushed grins, shirts hiked up, hair tousled and everywhere (Yunho says this is some sort of ritual). Yoochun's Junsu's other best friend, the first being Hyukjae. Yunho leans closer, says a little louder: you see the other one, who's hiding his laughter behind his hands? Yes, his name is Jaejoong.
Jaejoong's a musician, a singer, and one of his favourite jobs is playing piano in a jazz club two streets away from Changmin's house. He has dark hair and is sort of short and reminds Changmin of someone who he can't remember the name of. Years later, Changmin will think of how he walked into the jazz club once and Jaejoong was there, playing piano with his right hand more than his left. He will think of how Jaejoong was wearing a tie and suit but still didn't look the way he did when he came out, later, standing at the back of the building with Changmin, humming a song with his head tilted up.
Right now, Changmin watches Jaejoong's body, the shape it makes when he's doubled over, and when he gets closer and hears Jaejoong's laughter, he thinks that he could be okay with this place.
Seven months into the school year, Changmin's gotten a little better at being here. 'Here' is away from home, from the city, where there was mother and father and Changmin's little sisters. Here he's with his uncle and aunt, because uncle says, your mother's sick, Changmin, and your father's gone to find a better future for you all. Changmin thinks that it's likelier that appa's never going to come back and he's going to be stuck in this little town with just his sisters, with their umma on a hospital bed in a nondescript hospital in Seoul with no one there, but that's not exactly something he can say easily, so he doesn't.
It's cold, today, the middle of winter, and the sky is a bleak grey. Changmin's walking back from a late session at the library, and his hands are freezing so he shoves them into his pockets, starting a light jog to keep himself warm. There's a shout from behind him, and it's Junsu and Jaejoong, cheeks burned pink, doing God-knows-what (they definitely weren't studying, Changmin thinks). Junsu has a bicycle and complains about Hyukjae puncturing its tires all the time, and all Changmin really has to do is say a few things to get Junsu to start talking and then the conversation will keep itself going. Junsu talks about Seoul, his new cleats, Yoochun's old America and how much of it is real. Jaejoong is unusually quiet but smiles a lot, and Changmin looks at him for no real reason at all whenever he thinks Jaejoong isn't looking.
"Yah, hyung," says Junsu, suddenly. Jaejoong looks up from the ground and Changmin hurriedly looks away. "Are you sick?"
"Tired," says Jaejoong. He doesn't say more, but Changmin's heard from Yunho about his jobs, newspaper-carrying and selling gum and working in bars and nightclubs. Changmin doesn't wonder about the why because he’s seen the pictures on the wall of the room Yoochun and Jaejoong share, the ones with the family of eleven and the ones with Jaejoong, a mike, and his dreams. Changmin thinks about his umma and thinks he understands a little.
Jaejoong's dyed his hair blond recently and the colour of it glows under the streetlights, and when Junsu turns onto his street, it starts to snow. Changmin looks up to watch the snowflakes float for a second, and his eyes follow one until it lands on one of his eyelashes. He blinks. Jaejoong looks amused.
Changmin tries to make small talk. "Nice weather today," he says. That isn't what he meant to say, he thinks, because the weather is actually pretty shit, in Yoochun terms. Changmin's been sort-of-alone with Jaejoong before, except there's usually someone else there to fill in the silence.
Jaejoong shrugs, jacket shifting with the motion. "Yeah. I like it better than sun or rain.”
“Why?”
Jaejoong grins a little. “Girls hold onto you more when it’s cold.” Changmin raises his eyebrows and hits him on the arm for absolutely no reason at all. Jaejoong glares a little and hits back, and it escalates to the point where they are both running after or away from each other, breathless with laughter and shouting to keep it down.
The bell rings at school early one day and when Changmin walks out of his classroom, there is a flurry of movement, excited voices, and he wonders if something’s happened. Bora is nearby, looking worried, and Changmin approaches her. All she says is ‘Jaejoong’ and ‘Yoochun’ and ‘those stupid boys’, which makes Changmin think that he’s gotten the gist of what she’s saying.
Later, Changmin finds out that Jaejoong’s in the hospital for a knee injury (“he says it got hurt in dance,” says Yunho, voice static-y over the phone, and Changmin hears the worry because Jaejoong doesn’t dance if he can help it). Yoochun's got a sprained ankle and some bruises, and he can’t say that was from dancing because they’re too big.
The hospital makes Changmin think of paper and medicine and it’s not as if he minds these things, but he feels like the implications of the word ‘hospital’ are unsettling. The walls and the smell bleach Changmin out of his own skin and make his hands feel colder than they are, and when he sees Jaejoong sitting up in his bed, playing Pacman, Changmin feels stupid for being worried but mostly just relieved.
“What happened?” asks Changmin, setting chocolate on the desk next to the bed awkwardly. He didn’t think he would be the first to arrive.
“I’m fine,” says Jaejoong, even though Changmin didn’t ask. “I… there were a bunch of boys, and they ganged up on a kid. We might get expelled. I don’t really care.”
Changmin feels like all the breath’s been shot out of him. “School. Your family.”
Jaejoong looks blank, pale. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Changmin thinks that it sounds like he’s telling himself that. There’s a silence. He wonders if it would be alright to hold Jaejoong’s hand.
“Are you okay?” asks Changmin.
“Yeah,” says Jaejoong. Changmin sees his hand tighten on his blanket. “No.”
It’s okay, Changmin thinks he should say, because that would be the ideal response. The thing is, what he really thinks is that it’s not okay, when Jaejoong’s got those eyes and that face and that heart and deserves more than everything he’s getting. Changmin’s never been good at this.
He’s startled when he feels Jaejoong’s hand in his own, first. His fingers are shorter and his hands are wider than Changmin’s. “One second,” says Jaejoong, quietly. Changmin doesn’t say anything about how the second turns into fifteen minutes, and when his phone rings, he hardly hears Yunho’s words, except what he does hear is that Jaejoong isn’t going to be expelled, and when Changmin tells this to him, he lets Jaejoong dig his fingernails into Changmin’s palm and say that things are okay.
Heechul’s one of Yunho’s friends, and he’s having some sort of party thing, which is just an excuse to get drunk and waste money. It’s at the beach, and Changmin didn’t really want to go because he’s got homework and his sisters would be alone, but Yoochun says it’s Friday and Yunho says that it wouldn’t be as nice without him there. Changmin thinks that from anyone else the words might sound empty, but from Yunho they sound okay.
Changmin’s got a bottle of beer in his hand that he took away from Yoochun because he was slurring, and he catches sight of Jaejoong sitting on his haunches, making shapeless words in the sand. He goes to sit beside him and takes a swig of the beer almost thoughtlessly. When he chokes and coughs, Jaejoong laughs a lot and thumps him hard on the back, reaching over with his other hand to place his fingers over Changmin’s chest as if to keep him still. The sky is darker than it was a few minutes ago and Jaejoong’s face is half in shadow. Changmin’s eyes are watery when he’s okay again and Jaejoong’s fingers are still over his heart.
Changmin sometimes writes things down, things that he sees or hears and thinks are worth remembering, and sometimes he writes them down just because he feels like it. He starts writing on his calendar: Apr. 9th, Yunho and Bora’s third year anniversary, May 23th, Junsu and Hyukjae’s soccer tournament, June 4th, Yoochun's birthday, July 19th, cooking with Jaejoong. It’s more like a cooking attempt, Changmin thinks absently, resisting the urge to eat a spoonful of cookie dough. Changmin’s moving to Seoul again for University, living off scholarships and money made from working in bookstores and grocery stores. It’s just like he’s wanted it to be for the longest time because he’s going back to see his umma and to try to find his appa. When he told the others, there was the longest silence until Jaejoong asked how he was even going to feed himself when he would be alone and Changmin just sort of shrugged.
“Slice the carrots, let’s make some soup,” said Jaejoong, three hours and thirteen minutes ago. That hadn’t turned out so well. Neither had the barbeque chicken, or the grilled fish, or the rice. (“I have no idea how you cannot cook rice,” Jaejoong had said, sourly. Changmin had twirled a wooden spoon in one hand and sipped hot chocolate with the other. Jaejoong told him, at last, to sit and be still.)
“I don’t know how you’re going to survive in Seoul,” sighs Jaejoong dramatically, sitting down at last, after putting the cookies in the oven.
“Me neither,” says Changmin, honestly, leaning forward on his arms. “I can’t cook or anything.”
“I know,” says Jaejoong.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to live by myself if I can’t even make myself food,” continues Changmin. A few more words.
“Too bad I’m not going to be there, huh,” says Jaejoong, checking the timer. Changmin’s heart skips.
“Yeah,” he hears himself saying. “Why don’t you come along?”
The timer blares. Jaejoong shuts it off. All Changmin can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears. Jaejoong looks at Changmin, quiet eyes and still hands, and Changmin wishes he wouldn’t be like this.
“I didn’t -” says Changmin. “It’s not. What I mean is, I don’t. I just.”
“Did you mean that?” asks Jaejoong.
Yes, Changmin’s about to say. No. No, I didn’t mean it, that’s what he’s going to say, just so Jaejoong will not look at him like he did at those boys who hurt that kid with their words, and it’s not like this is the same thing at all, it’s not, but Changmin’s own fear is getting the better of him and he is hardly breathing. No, he’s going to say. No.
“Yeah,” he says. He looks up. “Yeah, I mean it.” Jaejoong is still looking at him and Changmin thinks about how Jaejoong will never look at him the same way, now, because he’s changed everything. Then he thinks about Jaejoong with snow on his tongue, Jaejoong and his barefooted laughter, Jaejoong and his thin glass picture frames. He might not regret saying anything, or he might, Changmin thinks at last. It doesn’t matter anymore.
“I like Seoul,” says Jaejoong, quietly. “City lights and city air. I can make it big there, if I try hard enough.” Changmin doesn’t say anything, feeling his own grip on his hands loosen.
“I just like you,” he says, honestly. Jaejoong laughs, hiding in the spaces between his fingers, and when it’s quiet again, Changmin holds onto Jaejoong’s wrist and kisses him. Jaejoong’s eyes have already closed.
Jaejoong/Changmin, others (random SuJu + CSJH the Grace people :|); G; AU; 2400 w. approx.
Jaejoong's a musician, a singer, and one of his favourite jobs is playing piano in a jazz club two streets away from Changmin's house.
Um, thank you for helping me out and listening to my endless whining, Tilly, Cheska, whoever else I bothered. :| ♥ For Clare procreational. I love you so much but you know that. ♥ Happy late birthday!! And thank you junkojjang for the title. :)
When Changmin's fifteen, he's the new student with the fumbling fingers and awkward stance, one of the few who hasn't grown into his new height yet, like a bird that has to keep its wings bound to its body. The teacher's eyes are a blur, her smile sticky with lipstick, and she asks him to introduce himself. When he's done (Shim Changmin, fifteen, from the southern part of Seoul, and hardly anyone is looking at him), the classroom is still the same, students half-asleep and bored, throwing paper planes at each other's heads. Changmin is sent to the back of the class, to sit next to a girl who has a wrinkled skirt and a boy whose head is laid on top of his English textbook. He spends the rest of the hour doodling math signs and writing notes as the teacher drones on with another welcome back to school. He falls asleep staring at the clock and thinking about hours spent hovering over textbooks, holding his mother's hand on her hospital bed, and Seoul with its closed windows and city-cool air.
A boy who is almost as tall as Changmin wakes him up, hand soft on his shoulder. He says his name is Yunho, and does Changmin need someone to show him around? Changmin thinks that he doesn't really, but he doesn't know how to say no to this boy's kind face and open smile, and he's been taught to be grateful, so he says okay. Changmin follows Yunho to the cafeteria, feeling awkward in his long limbs and new hair, like he's put on a coat that's too big for him and he's not sure how he should unbutton it. It's because this is a new school, and Changmin's never been good at this, meeting new people or saying goodbye to old ones.
Yunho introduces him to Junsu and Bora, his best friend and his girlfriend, and it's not like he says that they're his best friend and his girlfriend, but Changmin can tell. Junsu talks a lot, excitedly and with his face brightening, about soccer and singing and some kid named Hyukjae, and Bora has a dorky smile and holds Yunho's hand under the table. Yunho doesn't talk a lot, Changmin notices, but people try to talk to him a lot, and he smiles kind of like he doesn't know what to do with the attention. Changmin likes him right from the beginning.
Lunch is kimchi jjigae and towards the end of it, Changmin looks up when he hears shouting. There are two boys, and the one who was doing the shouting, his name is Yoochun, Yunho says. Junsu tackles him and they both collapse onto the floor, eventually leading to a crowd of people surrounding them, shouting things like fight, fight, fight! and with them both coming out with flushed grins, shirts hiked up, hair tousled and everywhere (Yunho says this is some sort of ritual). Yoochun's Junsu's other best friend, the first being Hyukjae. Yunho leans closer, says a little louder: you see the other one, who's hiding his laughter behind his hands? Yes, his name is Jaejoong.
Jaejoong's a musician, a singer, and one of his favourite jobs is playing piano in a jazz club two streets away from Changmin's house. He has dark hair and is sort of short and reminds Changmin of someone who he can't remember the name of. Years later, Changmin will think of how he walked into the jazz club once and Jaejoong was there, playing piano with his right hand more than his left. He will think of how Jaejoong was wearing a tie and suit but still didn't look the way he did when he came out, later, standing at the back of the building with Changmin, humming a song with his head tilted up.
Right now, Changmin watches Jaejoong's body, the shape it makes when he's doubled over, and when he gets closer and hears Jaejoong's laughter, he thinks that he could be okay with this place.
Seven months into the school year, Changmin's gotten a little better at being here. 'Here' is away from home, from the city, where there was mother and father and Changmin's little sisters. Here he's with his uncle and aunt, because uncle says, your mother's sick, Changmin, and your father's gone to find a better future for you all. Changmin thinks that it's likelier that appa's never going to come back and he's going to be stuck in this little town with just his sisters, with their umma on a hospital bed in a nondescript hospital in Seoul with no one there, but that's not exactly something he can say easily, so he doesn't.
It's cold, today, the middle of winter, and the sky is a bleak grey. Changmin's walking back from a late session at the library, and his hands are freezing so he shoves them into his pockets, starting a light jog to keep himself warm. There's a shout from behind him, and it's Junsu and Jaejoong, cheeks burned pink, doing God-knows-what (they definitely weren't studying, Changmin thinks). Junsu has a bicycle and complains about Hyukjae puncturing its tires all the time, and all Changmin really has to do is say a few things to get Junsu to start talking and then the conversation will keep itself going. Junsu talks about Seoul, his new cleats, Yoochun's old America and how much of it is real. Jaejoong is unusually quiet but smiles a lot, and Changmin looks at him for no real reason at all whenever he thinks Jaejoong isn't looking.
"Yah, hyung," says Junsu, suddenly. Jaejoong looks up from the ground and Changmin hurriedly looks away. "Are you sick?"
"Tired," says Jaejoong. He doesn't say more, but Changmin's heard from Yunho about his jobs, newspaper-carrying and selling gum and working in bars and nightclubs. Changmin doesn't wonder about the why because he’s seen the pictures on the wall of the room Yoochun and Jaejoong share, the ones with the family of eleven and the ones with Jaejoong, a mike, and his dreams. Changmin thinks about his umma and thinks he understands a little.
Jaejoong's dyed his hair blond recently and the colour of it glows under the streetlights, and when Junsu turns onto his street, it starts to snow. Changmin looks up to watch the snowflakes float for a second, and his eyes follow one until it lands on one of his eyelashes. He blinks. Jaejoong looks amused.
Changmin tries to make small talk. "Nice weather today," he says. That isn't what he meant to say, he thinks, because the weather is actually pretty shit, in Yoochun terms. Changmin's been sort-of-alone with Jaejoong before, except there's usually someone else there to fill in the silence.
Jaejoong shrugs, jacket shifting with the motion. "Yeah. I like it better than sun or rain.”
“Why?”
Jaejoong grins a little. “Girls hold onto you more when it’s cold.” Changmin raises his eyebrows and hits him on the arm for absolutely no reason at all. Jaejoong glares a little and hits back, and it escalates to the point where they are both running after or away from each other, breathless with laughter and shouting to keep it down.
The bell rings at school early one day and when Changmin walks out of his classroom, there is a flurry of movement, excited voices, and he wonders if something’s happened. Bora is nearby, looking worried, and Changmin approaches her. All she says is ‘Jaejoong’ and ‘Yoochun’ and ‘those stupid boys’, which makes Changmin think that he’s gotten the gist of what she’s saying.
Later, Changmin finds out that Jaejoong’s in the hospital for a knee injury (“he says it got hurt in dance,” says Yunho, voice static-y over the phone, and Changmin hears the worry because Jaejoong doesn’t dance if he can help it). Yoochun's got a sprained ankle and some bruises, and he can’t say that was from dancing because they’re too big.
The hospital makes Changmin think of paper and medicine and it’s not as if he minds these things, but he feels like the implications of the word ‘hospital’ are unsettling. The walls and the smell bleach Changmin out of his own skin and make his hands feel colder than they are, and when he sees Jaejoong sitting up in his bed, playing Pacman, Changmin feels stupid for being worried but mostly just relieved.
“What happened?” asks Changmin, setting chocolate on the desk next to the bed awkwardly. He didn’t think he would be the first to arrive.
“I’m fine,” says Jaejoong, even though Changmin didn’t ask. “I… there were a bunch of boys, and they ganged up on a kid. We might get expelled. I don’t really care.”
Changmin feels like all the breath’s been shot out of him. “School. Your family.”
Jaejoong looks blank, pale. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” Changmin thinks that it sounds like he’s telling himself that. There’s a silence. He wonders if it would be alright to hold Jaejoong’s hand.
“Are you okay?” asks Changmin.
“Yeah,” says Jaejoong. Changmin sees his hand tighten on his blanket. “No.”
It’s okay, Changmin thinks he should say, because that would be the ideal response. The thing is, what he really thinks is that it’s not okay, when Jaejoong’s got those eyes and that face and that heart and deserves more than everything he’s getting. Changmin’s never been good at this.
He’s startled when he feels Jaejoong’s hand in his own, first. His fingers are shorter and his hands are wider than Changmin’s. “One second,” says Jaejoong, quietly. Changmin doesn’t say anything about how the second turns into fifteen minutes, and when his phone rings, he hardly hears Yunho’s words, except what he does hear is that Jaejoong isn’t going to be expelled, and when Changmin tells this to him, he lets Jaejoong dig his fingernails into Changmin’s palm and say that things are okay.
Heechul’s one of Yunho’s friends, and he’s having some sort of party thing, which is just an excuse to get drunk and waste money. It’s at the beach, and Changmin didn’t really want to go because he’s got homework and his sisters would be alone, but Yoochun says it’s Friday and Yunho says that it wouldn’t be as nice without him there. Changmin thinks that from anyone else the words might sound empty, but from Yunho they sound okay.
Changmin’s got a bottle of beer in his hand that he took away from Yoochun because he was slurring, and he catches sight of Jaejoong sitting on his haunches, making shapeless words in the sand. He goes to sit beside him and takes a swig of the beer almost thoughtlessly. When he chokes and coughs, Jaejoong laughs a lot and thumps him hard on the back, reaching over with his other hand to place his fingers over Changmin’s chest as if to keep him still. The sky is darker than it was a few minutes ago and Jaejoong’s face is half in shadow. Changmin’s eyes are watery when he’s okay again and Jaejoong’s fingers are still over his heart.
Changmin sometimes writes things down, things that he sees or hears and thinks are worth remembering, and sometimes he writes them down just because he feels like it. He starts writing on his calendar: Apr. 9th, Yunho and Bora’s third year anniversary, May 23th, Junsu and Hyukjae’s soccer tournament, June 4th, Yoochun's birthday, July 19th, cooking with Jaejoong. It’s more like a cooking attempt, Changmin thinks absently, resisting the urge to eat a spoonful of cookie dough. Changmin’s moving to Seoul again for University, living off scholarships and money made from working in bookstores and grocery stores. It’s just like he’s wanted it to be for the longest time because he’s going back to see his umma and to try to find his appa. When he told the others, there was the longest silence until Jaejoong asked how he was even going to feed himself when he would be alone and Changmin just sort of shrugged.
“Slice the carrots, let’s make some soup,” said Jaejoong, three hours and thirteen minutes ago. That hadn’t turned out so well. Neither had the barbeque chicken, or the grilled fish, or the rice. (“I have no idea how you cannot cook rice,” Jaejoong had said, sourly. Changmin had twirled a wooden spoon in one hand and sipped hot chocolate with the other. Jaejoong told him, at last, to sit and be still.)
“I don’t know how you’re going to survive in Seoul,” sighs Jaejoong dramatically, sitting down at last, after putting the cookies in the oven.
“Me neither,” says Changmin, honestly, leaning forward on his arms. “I can’t cook or anything.”
“I know,” says Jaejoong.
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to live by myself if I can’t even make myself food,” continues Changmin. A few more words.
“Too bad I’m not going to be there, huh,” says Jaejoong, checking the timer. Changmin’s heart skips.
“Yeah,” he hears himself saying. “Why don’t you come along?”
The timer blares. Jaejoong shuts it off. All Changmin can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears. Jaejoong looks at Changmin, quiet eyes and still hands, and Changmin wishes he wouldn’t be like this.
“I didn’t -” says Changmin. “It’s not. What I mean is, I don’t. I just.”
“Did you mean that?” asks Jaejoong.
Yes, Changmin’s about to say. No. No, I didn’t mean it, that’s what he’s going to say, just so Jaejoong will not look at him like he did at those boys who hurt that kid with their words, and it’s not like this is the same thing at all, it’s not, but Changmin’s own fear is getting the better of him and he is hardly breathing. No, he’s going to say. No.
“Yeah,” he says. He looks up. “Yeah, I mean it.” Jaejoong is still looking at him and Changmin thinks about how Jaejoong will never look at him the same way, now, because he’s changed everything. Then he thinks about Jaejoong with snow on his tongue, Jaejoong and his barefooted laughter, Jaejoong and his thin glass picture frames. He might not regret saying anything, or he might, Changmin thinks at last. It doesn’t matter anymore.
“I like Seoul,” says Jaejoong, quietly. “City lights and city air. I can make it big there, if I try hard enough.” Changmin doesn’t say anything, feeling his own grip on his hands loosen.
“I just like you,” he says, honestly. Jaejoong laughs, hiding in the spaces between his fingers, and when it’s quiet again, Changmin holds onto Jaejoong’s wrist and kisses him. Jaejoong’s eyes have already closed.