Fic: Butterfly, Dreaming

[minnow_53]

Butterfly, Dreaming
by minnow_53

Disclaimer: These characters belong to JK Rowling and various corporations.
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, James/Lily, Ron/Hermione implied.
Rating: PG
Genre: AU
Era: April 1998
Summary: Sirius POV: Harry is in a coma and not expected to survive.
Thanks: To astra_argentea for the beta.
Warnings: Not happy R/S fluff. Check out the

Comments

[such_heights]

This is so, so lovely and very moving (not a word I often apply to fics, but it really fits this one.) All of the little facets of the AU are wonderfully done - there's a real sense that this is part of a much larger world, not just something used for the sake of it.

I love the almost infintessimal hints of the magical world, and the last sentence is inspired and really quite powerful in the context.

The dual grief is beautifully told and really rather heart-breaking. There's such a sense of everyday tragedy, which makes it even worse.

Also, I adored your take on the Weasleys, with them all being music buffs (Percy at the Conservatoire! Brilliant!) and Sirius' insight into Ron.

Absolutely magnificent, I really enjoyed this and it was fantastically done.

[minnow_53]

That's a really overwhelming comment: thank you very, very much. ♥ It's wonderful that you got the nuances of the story: I love it when things click with readers, especially as this isn't one of the more accessible fics.

It's great you liked the Weasleys! They went through many incarnations till I got them right...

there's a real sense that this is part of a much larger world

I'm especially happy that this came across. It involved much ruthlessness and cutting, but it's more than worth it if it worked.

Thanks so much for your insight and, again, for the amazing feedback.

^_^xx

[ida_pea]

Wow, very nicely written, but lord, I really need to go read something fluffy and happy now! (The fact that the weather is dismal and rainy here at the moment doesn't help). I liked that James and Lily were in this, though. I've always though Harry's parents were so interesting and that it was a shame that they couldn't be in the books because they died.

[minnow_53]

Thank you for commenting! ♥ I feel really guilty now, but my fluffy bunnies are on holiday. Well, not quite, but the angsty ones keep coming and beating them up...

I've seen quite a few AUs with James and Lily, though they're not exactly scattered all over the place. My personal theory is that they'd probably not have ended up together, though obviously it doesn't apply here, but when you think coolly about their ages and circumstances the marriage does seem doomed. Anyway, that's totally irrelevent! I hope you've found some nice fluff and you're feeling happier now. :)

^_^xx

[ida_pea]

No problem, I like angst as much as the next person, but sometimes it just really socks to to ya! :)

[mauvaise_etoile]

This was beautiful.

I avoid AUs, especially ones like this that are literally in another universe, because I just don't always see the point. The ones I do read are more like the 'what if' types, if that makes sense. But of course I had to read this since you wrote it! And I don't mean to say that this fic didn't have a point. I'm afraid I'm probably not making much sense. :/

I love that you were able to keep the characters very IC and just change their circumstances and surroundings. Yet you still managed to keep enough details similar as well. Quite brilliant, in fact.

This was my favorite part:

Remus is still here, in his paintings scattered all over the house, in the tiled Victorian fireplace they found in a junk shop to replace the one taken out by the previous occupants

And of course the last line. Gah. Tear-jerker that.

[minnow_53]

Thank you very much! ♥

My original idea was that Harry was dreaming the books somehow, so it wasn't really certain whether this universe was the real one and Hogwarts the dream, or Hogwarts real and this the dream. But then I decided it would be better to keep the real world as the constant, though I like the thought that Harry is coming up with the HP books in a sort of trance.

It also seemed sort of allegorical, that you'd use these real people you knew and put them in your dreams/novels/fanfic. *g* Most people would run a mile at the thought of being in a book...

^_^xx

[mauvaise_etoile]

so it wasn't really certain whether this universe was the real one and Hogwarts the dream, or Hogwarts real and this the dream.

Ah, that makes perfect sense and is appropriate to the title. This is what I get for literally taking three hours to read a fic because I keep getting interrupted: I miss subtleties! That's a really nice concept though, either way you look at it, that one or the other is the dream.

Most people would run a mile at the thought of being in a book...

Yes, because it tends to be the negative that shines through! I think that all the time. I have had this idea for the "novel" I'd like to write for ages and I'm too chicken to actually do it because I'm quite afraid people will be able to obiviously tell that I drew from my life and people I know, even if I change or heighten parts. I'd probably become a pariah amongst everyone I knew. I think that if I play it off as a parody, I might be able to swing it...

[minnow_53]

The problem is that all fiction has to draw on life to a certain extent. I tend to pillory my mothers-in-law, but that's another story. *g* I'm sure your in-laws and The Bride would make wonderful characters, just for a start! Just be sure to use a pseudonym so nobody can sue you.

^_^xx

[kabeyk]

Oh my god, of course Malfoy plays the flute. What else?

I know, I'm focusing on the trivial and hiding from the pain. This fic is effing perfect, darling, because not only is it a wonderful, realistic portrayal of grief, but because it feels so everyday too. Because grief is an everyday thing. Bloody wonderful.x

kxx

[minnow_53]

Thank you very much! ♥ That's such a lovely comment, and greatly appreciated.

Draco and the flute is FAR from trivial: in fact, it was one of the main points of trial and error. He started off playing the cello, but it didn't seem quite right. The flute really felt perfect, though, and I'm glad you agree. It's also a tribute to his status as a porn star.

^_^xx

[paulamcg]

This is not the first time I’ve enjoyed an AU fic thanks to you. It was a particular pleasure here for me to read a depiction of your Remus, in turn, in his absence. I wonder why you decided to make your Remus an artist. Not that I’d like to complain. This must be one of my favourites among your Remuses

[minnow_53]

Thank you so much for another lovely comment! ♥ I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

I wonder why you decided to make your Remus an artist.

That was easy -- I wanted something that would make Harry associate him with Defence Against the Dark Arts. I thought the artist painting light would do the trick... He started off as an architect, actually, but that wasn't quite right.

Do you really achieve this feeling - that we enter in the middle of a story - through writing exposition and then editing it out?Ironically, the first few paragraphs of this one haven't changed since the first draft, but I did have to take out exposition later on: the problem with AU is that you don't have a universe your readers will instantly understand. Actually, I've often started off writing a normal R/S fic, deleted the first two pages and gone on from there

[paulamcg]

I wanted something that would make Harry associate him with Defence Against the Dark Arts. I thought the artist painting light would do the trick...

It’s funny I didn’t catch that trick at all - perhaps because my Remus (without contradicting the canon of books one to five) has been an artist and painted light since 2003. I suppose you didn’t think of him at all. But you’ve actually made me realise how fitting it is that he ended up working as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, too, even though this is not his only or primary expertise in my extrapolation.

the first few paragraphs of this one haven't changed since the first draft, but I did have to take out exposition later onIt seems you had a conscious intention to go right into the middle of the story. And I suppose writing AU can be good practice for writing non-fanfiction (what most people call original writing). Especially in writing short stories it must be essential to select what the readers need to know, so that the story can serve its purpose in dealing with

[minnow_53]

I did think of your artist Remus, but I saw mine as completely different: he was settled, happy, had a good job... He always thought he could become a 'real' painter at some point in the future, but obviously he didn't have the hunger for art (in parallel with the physical hunger) that your Remus has. My Remus didn't actually manage to capture light, I don't think, because at the time he was trying to do so his own light was fading steadily.

It seems you had a conscious intention to go right into the middle of the story.Not initially. The whole story came to me all of a piece, and I wrote it down at once. When I was editing, I had to start cutting somewhere round a quarter of the way in. But as well as cutting, I added more scenes, so the story now falls into three parts. S_Star actually did an exposition beta for me when I was too close to it to tell what needed to be changed or cut. So that was really helpful