Fic: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
By minnow_53
Disclaimer: These characters belong to JK Rowling and various corporations.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Era: MWPP, Seventh Year
Summary: Remus and Sirius comfort each other after breaking up.
Rating: PG-13
Thanks: To astra_argentea for a preliminary beta.
Note: James POV, but all about R/S. This is a light, fluffy, happy fic.
Also posted to remusxsirius and two_boys.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Remus and Sirius bounced into the Great Hall, grinning all over their faces and looking very pleased with themselves.
‘Guess what!’ Sirius called to James and Peter, before they’d even reached the table. ‘We just split up!
He and Remus looked at their friends expectantly.
James couldn’t suppress a huge sigh of relief. No more sitting at meals while Sirius fed Remus mashed potato with a spoon, and Remus insisted that Sirius take at least half of his pudding - Spotted Dick days could be embarrassing. No need for Peter to put his face in his hands and wail whenever Remus said, ‘You have the pepper first, Sirius,’ and Sirius said, ‘No, you take it, Moony.’ These exchanges could last a good ten minutes. It was usually Sirius who gave in and took the condiment in question on these occasions.
Above all, James thought, and the air around him seemed to grow lighter, no more trying to avert one’s eyes when the pair of them were holding hands under the table, or messing about with their feet, or sometimes worse.
‘You’re pretty damn cheerful about it,’ he remarked.
‘Putting on a brave face,’ Sirius said. He lowered his voice. ‘I don’t want Moony to brood too much.’
‘So what happened?’ piped up Peter, who looked every bit as relieved as James.
‘You tell them,’ Remus said, blushing a bit as he sat down. Sirius held his chair out for him then sat down himself.
‘No, you tell.’
‘Just spill it, Padfoot,’ James said, reaching over and taking the last piece of toast.
‘Damn it, Prongs! Moony might have wanted that. Well, we were going through the portrait hole - ’
‘To come down to breakfast,’ Remus added.
‘That’s right. When Moony shoved me - ’
‘Actually, Padfoot, you shoved me - ’
‘No, you shoved me. Anyway, we both fell, and we were both mad - ’
‘I hurt my elbow, look.’ Remus rolled up the sleeve of his robe to show his bruised arm.
‘So we decided we hated each other and were going to break up,’ finished Sirius. ‘Moony, you’re not eating anything. Have a kipper.’
‘No, you have it. I’ll have porridge.’
‘No, you have it. Look, it’s on your plate now. C’mon, before it swims away.’
When the house-elves put a rack of fresh toast on the table, Remus buttered a piece for Sirius while it was nice and hot, and cut it into squares for him. He made sure Sirius got the full jar of marmalade, not the nearly empty one James had been digging into absent-mindedly, eating the bitterweet preserve with a spoon: the communal spoon. Remus was always telling him off for doing that, though he never minded using a spoon that Sirius had licked.
Sirius filleted Remus’s kipper for him - as a werewolf, Remus was very clumsy at boning any sort of fish or small animal - and took away the salt, because the kipper was salty enough and Remus was supposed to avoid too much salt the week before the moon.
‘I thought you guys broke up,’ Peter said.
They looked at him blankly. ‘Of course we did. But we still have to see each other and share a dorm, so we decided we’d try and remain friends,’ Sirius said.
‘Even if it hurts,’ Remus added, sniffling a bit. Sirius, concerned, looked for a hanky up his sleeve, couldn’t find one, and passed Remus his napkin instead. ‘Don’t get upset, Moony. We’ll both feel better in a few weeks’ time.’
‘One day we’ll look back on this and laugh,’ Remus sobbed. Sirius, looking close to tears himself, put his arms round Remus and hugged him, patting him rather clumsily, and letting his last square of toast grow cold on the plate. Remus put his face against Sirius’s shoulder, and his own shoulders shook.
James and Peter glanced at each other, shrugged, and got up to go to Potions.
'You don't think they're having us on, do you?' Peter asked on the way to the dungeons.
'No,' James said. 'Marauders don't play pranks on each other. And Sirius was about to cry. He never cries. I wish we didn't have to deal with their problems. They get so emotional.'
Peter nodded in quiet solidarity.
*
In Potions, James asked Sirius, ‘Now you two aren’t together any more, d’you want to switch partners? You can work with me, and Remus can work with Peter.’
‘Remus work with Peter?’ Sirius spluttered. ‘Don’t be an idiot, Prongs. Remus has to stay with me, because he needs all the help he can get. We may have split up, but we’re mature enough not to let that interfere with our NEWTs, aren’t we, Moony?’
Remus, who still looked a bit tearful, said, ‘Of course we are. We’re seventeen, not seven. We can handle the situation just fine.’ He slipped his hand into Sirius’s and gave him a warm and trusting smile. Sirius squeezed his hand and smiled back.
Severus Snape, two cauldrons away, made vomiting noises. ‘For Merlin’s sake, Black, can’t you and your boyfriend get a room or something? So the rest of us don’t have to watch.’
Sirius let go of Remus’s hand and took two strides toward Snape. ‘You shut your fat mouth, Snivellus. He’s not my boyfriend. We broke up. So just keep your wonderfully stupid observations to yourself.’
Remus gazed at him adoringly, and when Snape had turned away in disgust, he took out his wand very discreetly and whispered something. A bee started to buzz around Snape’s head. Snape tried to brush it away, but it stayed close, sometimes flying down to buzz in his ear.
‘Nice work, Moony,’ Sirius said. ‘Bee in bonnet, yeah?’
‘Or in barnet,’ Remus said, and burst out laughing. When his friends looked blank, he explained that ‘barnet’ was Muggle slang for hair.
‘Is the grease included?’ Sirius asked loudly, but then they were all quiet because Professor Slughorn had just walked into the classroom.
For the next hour, the pupils were busy chopping and simmering and tasting, as this was a Seasoning Potion, designed to be sprinkled over any food, however dull and savourless, and render it delicious. James looked up from his own work when Remus and Sirius started to argue with each other during the brewing process.
‘It isn’t salt, Padfoot,’ Remus protested, when Sirius wrested the testing spoon away from him.
‘No, but better be careful all the same. Let me taste it, okay?’
Remus looked a bit rebellious, and when Sirius had finished, he seized the spoon, dipped it in the potion again and sipped the clear liquid, with a rather furtive expression on his face. Sirius frowned. ‘If you feel all horrible and bloated tonight, don’t complain to me, Moony.’
Remus whispered something and they both giggled, then his face fell. ‘But of course we can’t do that, Padfoot, because we’ve broken up.’
‘Chin up, Moony!’ Sirius urged. ‘It’ll get easier. Promise.’
The bell rang then, and they all hastily corked up their vials of sample potion and handed them in. Remus muttered ‘Finite Incantatem,’ and the bee that had been hovering over Snape all through the lesson disappeared. Snape gave him a filthy look but didn’t dare retaliate in front of the professor: he was one of the stars of the Potions class and wanted to remain so.
James, stacking his cauldron neatly on top of the pile in the corner, said, ‘Hey, guys, race you to lunch. First in gets the biggest piece of steak pie.’
Sirius said very quietly, so nobody else could hear, ‘Give us a little while. I need to cheer Moony up a bit. He’s rather upset again.’
He linked arms with Remus, and they went off in the opposite direction to their friends, who were making for the Great Hall. ‘Weird,’ Peter said, shaking his head, and James said, ‘It’s their own fault if they’re late. I’m not saving them any pie,’ and Peter said, ‘Me neither.’
*
Both Remus and Sirius missed lunch altogether. Peter was a bit worried, but James said callously, ‘They can always do a kitchen raid later. But it’s a pain, because I need to ask Sirius about that Charms essay. I’m supposed to be copying it before afternoon school.’
He finally located his friends in the empty dungeon next to the Potions room. The door was ajar, and he looked in and saw them standing very close together, Remus with his back to the wall and Sirius pressed right up against him. They certainly wouldn’t be kissing each other, in the circumstances, but their faces were practically touching. Still, James reasoned, no doubt they had a lot to discuss. Breaking up was obviously a lengthy business, though he hoped he’d never find out, now that Lily Evans had finally agreed to go out with him.
James cleared his throat, and they sprang apart. ‘Just cheering Moony up,’ Sirius repeated. He was a bit flushed and dishevelled. James thought that neither of them seemed especially pleased that he’d come to fetch them.
‘Padfoot, I must have that essay. I hope this isn’t an inconvenient time,’ he added, rather sarcastically.
‘Of course not,’ Sirius said, mustering his manners.
‘You need your mates when things aren't going so well,’ Remus said stoically. ‘Now we’re not together. It’s good that we have friends like you, Prongs. And Wormtail, of course.’
‘That’s true,’ Sirius said. He started to fuss with Remus’s clothes. ‘Moony, let me adjust the back of your robe…there. You okay? Feeling better?’ He looked very perturbed.
‘Much better,’ Remus said. ‘We just have to get used to it, that’s all. It’ll take a while, though.’
While James and Sirius went through the Charms essay, Remus and Peter played a quick game of non-exploding snap, and the time went fast and sweetly until the lesson. In fact, it was just like the old days, except that now James sat next to Lily, and the other three were in their old desks at the back of the classroom.
Remus and Sirius sat through the lesson with their hands on each other’s knees, for reassurance, no doubt. Halfway through, when Lily wasn’t looking, James wafted a note to them that read: ‘Are you two coming to watch Quidditch practice after school? It’s been ages.’
He glanced back at his friends. Sirius nodded and Remus grinned, and James enjoyed Charms a great deal more than he had for months, especially when he tried out his Advanced Beautifying Charm on Lily.
*
During Quidditch practice, James looked out for his friends. Peter was always visible in the stands, waving his red and gold Gryffindor scarf, but he couldn’t see Remus and Sirius. Calling for a break in the session, he circled round and spotted Remus lying flat on his back on a bench, with Sirius on top of him. Alarmed, he swooped down next to them and dismounted.
‘Hey, what’s wrong? Moony okay?’
Sirius glanced up. ‘Too much salt. He felt faint. I’m keeping him warm so he won’t pass out.’
‘I’m fine,’ Remus said in a feeble voice. James noticed that the salt had made his lips slightly swollen and red, and had had a similar effect on Sirius’s.
‘It’s all the stress of splitting up,’ Sirius said sadly. ‘It’s really hit him hard. And we skipped lunch, so we had some chocolate, and that must have finished him off.’
‘Is there salt in chocolate?’ James asked incredulously.
‘Of course there is, Prongs. Now, get back to your practice. I need to stop Moony fainting.’
He leaned down again and put his mouth over Remus’s, probably to facilitate his breathing, James thought as he remounted his broomstick. He was soon absorbed in chasing the Quaffle, and when he next looked over at the stands, Remus had apparently recovered: he and Sirius were sitting down again, with Peter, and the three of them were chatting animatedly, ignoring the game. James was a bit irritated. When the others weren’t there, Peter loved to watch him play and his concentration never faltered. Still, James reasoned, it wasn’t every day you broke up. No doubt they needed the company.
*
In the middle of the night, James was woken by some horrible groaning and moaning sounds.
His instant reaction was annoyance. ‘Cast a bloody Privacy Spell,’ he shouted.
There was dead silence, then Sirius’s voice, which was coming from Remus’s bed. ‘We don’t need a Privacy Spell. We’ve broken up, remember?’
James lit his wand, swung his legs out of bed and went across the room to them. He opened the curtains. Remus and Sirius were sitting up side by side under the covers. Remus looked unhappy again, Sirius worried. They were both wearing their pyjamas at least. James inferred that the horrible noises had been some sort of lamentation.
‘We need a bit of space to work through this, Prongs. If you don’t mind.’
James backed off. ‘Okay, I get it. You’re comforting Moony again.’
‘Don’t need comforting,’ Remus said crossly. ‘I’m an adult. We couldn’t sleep. Padfoot was trying to demonstrate how the wolf howls. Seeing as I can’t ever hear him.’
‘He doesn’t moan like that,’ James objected.
‘Goodnight, Prongs,’ Sirius said firmly. ‘Sleep tight.’
James went back to his bed and extinguished his wand-light. A few moments later he heard more strange moans, followed by inarticulate cries, followed by an eerie, unnatural silence. He tried to imagine that they’d gone to sleep, or that in the centre of the silence Sirius was once more consoling a sobbing Remus. Or vice versa. He tried not to imagine them entangled with each other, sweaty and gasping. No, they wouldn’t be. They’d broken up.
‘Get over it, guys,’ he thought exasperated, before he fell asleep again.
*
The following morning, Remus and Sirius were so late for breakfast they managed to miss the porridge and bacon and eggs altogether.
James was pleased to see that they both seemed in high spirits, though of course that was deceptive: they’d been positively bouncing yesterday.
They took their time getting to the table. First, they stopped to put their heads together and whisper something that appeared to amuse them immoderately. Then, they stopped to kiss each other deeply. The Slytherins made loud catcalls, and a couple of Hufflepuff girls giggled. Fortunately, it was so late that all the professors and about half the students had already left.
Then, Sirius stumbled, and Remus caught him, and they kissed again. James wondered if they’d decided to drown their sorrows in the half bottle of Firewhisky Sirius kept hidden at the bottom of his trunk. They certainly didn’t look exactly sober. James cringed at the thought of having to handle a drunk and heartbroken Remus and Sirius for the next few weeks.
Again, Sirius shouted to him before they’d quite reached the table, ‘Hey, Prongs, Wormtail! Guess what?’
‘You’re in deep mourning and need time to recover,’ James said rolling his eyes.
‘Don’t be stupid. We’re back together again, aren’t we Moony?’
Remus grinned and nodded. ‘Together for good, Padfoot.’ They flung their arms around each other.
‘For Godric’s sake, sit down,’ hissed Peter, who was bright red.
James groaned, and put his head in his hands. ‘Have you been at the booze?’
‘No,’ Sirius said, shocked. ‘We’re just drunk with love, aren’t we, Moony?’
Remus sniggered. ‘Speak for yourself, Padfoot.’
Sirius said, ‘Absolutely no salt today, Moony, okay? Looks like we’ve missed breakfast anyway.’ A fresh rack of toast appeared on the table as he spoke, and this time it was Sirius who prepared a slice for Remus, cutting it into triangles rather than squares. ‘Eat that while it’s hot.’ He picked up a piece and popped it into Remus’s mouth. Remus obediently took a bite, as Sirius smiled at him indulgently.
Remus said, ‘One for you, now’ and fed Sirius in his turn. Sirius gently nipped Remus’s finger, and Remus scolded, ‘Bad Padfoot!’
At this point, James and Peter slunk away, though James glanced round briefly just in time to see Remus brushing a few crumbs out of Sirius’s hair, while Sirius appeared to be licking butter from the corner of Remus’s mouth. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry or bang his head repeatedly against the wall, so he did all three, much to Peter’s consternation.
End
By minnow_53
Disclaimer: These characters belong to JK Rowling and various corporations.
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Era: MWPP, Seventh Year
Summary: Remus and Sirius comfort each other after breaking up.
Rating: PG-13
Thanks: To astra_argentea for a preliminary beta.
Note: James POV, but all about R/S. This is a light, fluffy, happy fic.
Also posted to remusxsirius and two_boys.
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Remus and Sirius bounced into the Great Hall, grinning all over their faces and looking very pleased with themselves.
‘Guess what!’ Sirius called to James and Peter, before they’d even reached the table. ‘We just split up!
He and Remus looked at their friends expectantly.
James couldn’t suppress a huge sigh of relief. No more sitting at meals while Sirius fed Remus mashed potato with a spoon, and Remus insisted that Sirius take at least half of his pudding - Spotted Dick days could be embarrassing. No need for Peter to put his face in his hands and wail whenever Remus said, ‘You have the pepper first, Sirius,’ and Sirius said, ‘No, you take it, Moony.’ These exchanges could last a good ten minutes. It was usually Sirius who gave in and took the condiment in question on these occasions.
Above all, James thought, and the air around him seemed to grow lighter, no more trying to avert one’s eyes when the pair of them were holding hands under the table, or messing about with their feet, or sometimes worse.
‘You’re pretty damn cheerful about it,’ he remarked.
‘Putting on a brave face,’ Sirius said. He lowered his voice. ‘I don’t want Moony to brood too much.’
‘So what happened?’ piped up Peter, who looked every bit as relieved as James.
‘You tell them,’ Remus said, blushing a bit as he sat down. Sirius held his chair out for him then sat down himself.
‘No, you tell.’
‘Just spill it, Padfoot,’ James said, reaching over and taking the last piece of toast.
‘Damn it, Prongs! Moony might have wanted that. Well, we were going through the portrait hole - ’
‘To come down to breakfast,’ Remus added.
‘That’s right. When Moony shoved me - ’
‘Actually, Padfoot, you shoved me - ’
‘No, you shoved me. Anyway, we both fell, and we were both mad - ’
‘I hurt my elbow, look.’ Remus rolled up the sleeve of his robe to show his bruised arm.
‘So we decided we hated each other and were going to break up,’ finished Sirius. ‘Moony, you’re not eating anything. Have a kipper.’
‘No, you have it. I’ll have porridge.’
‘No, you have it. Look, it’s on your plate now. C’mon, before it swims away.’
When the house-elves put a rack of fresh toast on the table, Remus buttered a piece for Sirius while it was nice and hot, and cut it into squares for him. He made sure Sirius got the full jar of marmalade, not the nearly empty one James had been digging into absent-mindedly, eating the bitterweet preserve with a spoon: the communal spoon. Remus was always telling him off for doing that, though he never minded using a spoon that Sirius had licked.
Sirius filleted Remus’s kipper for him - as a werewolf, Remus was very clumsy at boning any sort of fish or small animal - and took away the salt, because the kipper was salty enough and Remus was supposed to avoid too much salt the week before the moon.
‘I thought you guys broke up,’ Peter said.
They looked at him blankly. ‘Of course we did. But we still have to see each other and share a dorm, so we decided we’d try and remain friends,’ Sirius said.
‘Even if it hurts,’ Remus added, sniffling a bit. Sirius, concerned, looked for a hanky up his sleeve, couldn’t find one, and passed Remus his napkin instead. ‘Don’t get upset, Moony. We’ll both feel better in a few weeks’ time.’
‘One day we’ll look back on this and laugh,’ Remus sobbed. Sirius, looking close to tears himself, put his arms round Remus and hugged him, patting him rather clumsily, and letting his last square of toast grow cold on the plate. Remus put his face against Sirius’s shoulder, and his own shoulders shook.
James and Peter glanced at each other, shrugged, and got up to go to Potions.
'You don't think they're having us on, do you?' Peter asked on the way to the dungeons.
'No,' James said. 'Marauders don't play pranks on each other. And Sirius was about to cry. He never cries. I wish we didn't have to deal with their problems. They get so emotional.'
Peter nodded in quiet solidarity.
*
In Potions, James asked Sirius, ‘Now you two aren’t together any more, d’you want to switch partners? You can work with me, and Remus can work with Peter.’
‘Remus work with Peter?’ Sirius spluttered. ‘Don’t be an idiot, Prongs. Remus has to stay with me, because he needs all the help he can get. We may have split up, but we’re mature enough not to let that interfere with our NEWTs, aren’t we, Moony?’
Remus, who still looked a bit tearful, said, ‘Of course we are. We’re seventeen, not seven. We can handle the situation just fine.’ He slipped his hand into Sirius’s and gave him a warm and trusting smile. Sirius squeezed his hand and smiled back.
Severus Snape, two cauldrons away, made vomiting noises. ‘For Merlin’s sake, Black, can’t you and your boyfriend get a room or something? So the rest of us don’t have to watch.’
Sirius let go of Remus’s hand and took two strides toward Snape. ‘You shut your fat mouth, Snivellus. He’s not my boyfriend. We broke up. So just keep your wonderfully stupid observations to yourself.’
Remus gazed at him adoringly, and when Snape had turned away in disgust, he took out his wand very discreetly and whispered something. A bee started to buzz around Snape’s head. Snape tried to brush it away, but it stayed close, sometimes flying down to buzz in his ear.
‘Nice work, Moony,’ Sirius said. ‘Bee in bonnet, yeah?’
‘Or in barnet,’ Remus said, and burst out laughing. When his friends looked blank, he explained that ‘barnet’ was Muggle slang for hair.
‘Is the grease included?’ Sirius asked loudly, but then they were all quiet because Professor Slughorn had just walked into the classroom.
For the next hour, the pupils were busy chopping and simmering and tasting, as this was a Seasoning Potion, designed to be sprinkled over any food, however dull and savourless, and render it delicious. James looked up from his own work when Remus and Sirius started to argue with each other during the brewing process.
‘It isn’t salt, Padfoot,’ Remus protested, when Sirius wrested the testing spoon away from him.
‘No, but better be careful all the same. Let me taste it, okay?’
Remus looked a bit rebellious, and when Sirius had finished, he seized the spoon, dipped it in the potion again and sipped the clear liquid, with a rather furtive expression on his face. Sirius frowned. ‘If you feel all horrible and bloated tonight, don’t complain to me, Moony.’
Remus whispered something and they both giggled, then his face fell. ‘But of course we can’t do that, Padfoot, because we’ve broken up.’
‘Chin up, Moony!’ Sirius urged. ‘It’ll get easier. Promise.’
The bell rang then, and they all hastily corked up their vials of sample potion and handed them in. Remus muttered ‘Finite Incantatem,’ and the bee that had been hovering over Snape all through the lesson disappeared. Snape gave him a filthy look but didn’t dare retaliate in front of the professor: he was one of the stars of the Potions class and wanted to remain so.
James, stacking his cauldron neatly on top of the pile in the corner, said, ‘Hey, guys, race you to lunch. First in gets the biggest piece of steak pie.’
Sirius said very quietly, so nobody else could hear, ‘Give us a little while. I need to cheer Moony up a bit. He’s rather upset again.’
He linked arms with Remus, and they went off in the opposite direction to their friends, who were making for the Great Hall. ‘Weird,’ Peter said, shaking his head, and James said, ‘It’s their own fault if they’re late. I’m not saving them any pie,’ and Peter said, ‘Me neither.’
*
Both Remus and Sirius missed lunch altogether. Peter was a bit worried, but James said callously, ‘They can always do a kitchen raid later. But it’s a pain, because I need to ask Sirius about that Charms essay. I’m supposed to be copying it before afternoon school.’
He finally located his friends in the empty dungeon next to the Potions room. The door was ajar, and he looked in and saw them standing very close together, Remus with his back to the wall and Sirius pressed right up against him. They certainly wouldn’t be kissing each other, in the circumstances, but their faces were practically touching. Still, James reasoned, no doubt they had a lot to discuss. Breaking up was obviously a lengthy business, though he hoped he’d never find out, now that Lily Evans had finally agreed to go out with him.
James cleared his throat, and they sprang apart. ‘Just cheering Moony up,’ Sirius repeated. He was a bit flushed and dishevelled. James thought that neither of them seemed especially pleased that he’d come to fetch them.
‘Padfoot, I must have that essay. I hope this isn’t an inconvenient time,’ he added, rather sarcastically.
‘Of course not,’ Sirius said, mustering his manners.
‘You need your mates when things aren't going so well,’ Remus said stoically. ‘Now we’re not together. It’s good that we have friends like you, Prongs. And Wormtail, of course.’
‘That’s true,’ Sirius said. He started to fuss with Remus’s clothes. ‘Moony, let me adjust the back of your robe…there. You okay? Feeling better?’ He looked very perturbed.
‘Much better,’ Remus said. ‘We just have to get used to it, that’s all. It’ll take a while, though.’
While James and Sirius went through the Charms essay, Remus and Peter played a quick game of non-exploding snap, and the time went fast and sweetly until the lesson. In fact, it was just like the old days, except that now James sat next to Lily, and the other three were in their old desks at the back of the classroom.
Remus and Sirius sat through the lesson with their hands on each other’s knees, for reassurance, no doubt. Halfway through, when Lily wasn’t looking, James wafted a note to them that read: ‘Are you two coming to watch Quidditch practice after school? It’s been ages.’
He glanced back at his friends. Sirius nodded and Remus grinned, and James enjoyed Charms a great deal more than he had for months, especially when he tried out his Advanced Beautifying Charm on Lily.
*
During Quidditch practice, James looked out for his friends. Peter was always visible in the stands, waving his red and gold Gryffindor scarf, but he couldn’t see Remus and Sirius. Calling for a break in the session, he circled round and spotted Remus lying flat on his back on a bench, with Sirius on top of him. Alarmed, he swooped down next to them and dismounted.
‘Hey, what’s wrong? Moony okay?’
Sirius glanced up. ‘Too much salt. He felt faint. I’m keeping him warm so he won’t pass out.’
‘I’m fine,’ Remus said in a feeble voice. James noticed that the salt had made his lips slightly swollen and red, and had had a similar effect on Sirius’s.
‘It’s all the stress of splitting up,’ Sirius said sadly. ‘It’s really hit him hard. And we skipped lunch, so we had some chocolate, and that must have finished him off.’
‘Is there salt in chocolate?’ James asked incredulously.
‘Of course there is, Prongs. Now, get back to your practice. I need to stop Moony fainting.’
He leaned down again and put his mouth over Remus’s, probably to facilitate his breathing, James thought as he remounted his broomstick. He was soon absorbed in chasing the Quaffle, and when he next looked over at the stands, Remus had apparently recovered: he and Sirius were sitting down again, with Peter, and the three of them were chatting animatedly, ignoring the game. James was a bit irritated. When the others weren’t there, Peter loved to watch him play and his concentration never faltered. Still, James reasoned, it wasn’t every day you broke up. No doubt they needed the company.
*
In the middle of the night, James was woken by some horrible groaning and moaning sounds.
His instant reaction was annoyance. ‘Cast a bloody Privacy Spell,’ he shouted.
There was dead silence, then Sirius’s voice, which was coming from Remus’s bed. ‘We don’t need a Privacy Spell. We’ve broken up, remember?’
James lit his wand, swung his legs out of bed and went across the room to them. He opened the curtains. Remus and Sirius were sitting up side by side under the covers. Remus looked unhappy again, Sirius worried. They were both wearing their pyjamas at least. James inferred that the horrible noises had been some sort of lamentation.
‘We need a bit of space to work through this, Prongs. If you don’t mind.’
James backed off. ‘Okay, I get it. You’re comforting Moony again.’
‘Don’t need comforting,’ Remus said crossly. ‘I’m an adult. We couldn’t sleep. Padfoot was trying to demonstrate how the wolf howls. Seeing as I can’t ever hear him.’
‘He doesn’t moan like that,’ James objected.
‘Goodnight, Prongs,’ Sirius said firmly. ‘Sleep tight.’
James went back to his bed and extinguished his wand-light. A few moments later he heard more strange moans, followed by inarticulate cries, followed by an eerie, unnatural silence. He tried to imagine that they’d gone to sleep, or that in the centre of the silence Sirius was once more consoling a sobbing Remus. Or vice versa. He tried not to imagine them entangled with each other, sweaty and gasping. No, they wouldn’t be. They’d broken up.
‘Get over it, guys,’ he thought exasperated, before he fell asleep again.
*
The following morning, Remus and Sirius were so late for breakfast they managed to miss the porridge and bacon and eggs altogether.
James was pleased to see that they both seemed in high spirits, though of course that was deceptive: they’d been positively bouncing yesterday.
They took their time getting to the table. First, they stopped to put their heads together and whisper something that appeared to amuse them immoderately. Then, they stopped to kiss each other deeply. The Slytherins made loud catcalls, and a couple of Hufflepuff girls giggled. Fortunately, it was so late that all the professors and about half the students had already left.
Then, Sirius stumbled, and Remus caught him, and they kissed again. James wondered if they’d decided to drown their sorrows in the half bottle of Firewhisky Sirius kept hidden at the bottom of his trunk. They certainly didn’t look exactly sober. James cringed at the thought of having to handle a drunk and heartbroken Remus and Sirius for the next few weeks.
Again, Sirius shouted to him before they’d quite reached the table, ‘Hey, Prongs, Wormtail! Guess what?’
‘You’re in deep mourning and need time to recover,’ James said rolling his eyes.
‘Don’t be stupid. We’re back together again, aren’t we Moony?’
Remus grinned and nodded. ‘Together for good, Padfoot.’ They flung their arms around each other.
‘For Godric’s sake, sit down,’ hissed Peter, who was bright red.
James groaned, and put his head in his hands. ‘Have you been at the booze?’
‘No,’ Sirius said, shocked. ‘We’re just drunk with love, aren’t we, Moony?’
Remus sniggered. ‘Speak for yourself, Padfoot.’
Sirius said, ‘Absolutely no salt today, Moony, okay? Looks like we’ve missed breakfast anyway.’ A fresh rack of toast appeared on the table as he spoke, and this time it was Sirius who prepared a slice for Remus, cutting it into triangles rather than squares. ‘Eat that while it’s hot.’ He picked up a piece and popped it into Remus’s mouth. Remus obediently took a bite, as Sirius smiled at him indulgently.
Remus said, ‘One for you, now’ and fed Sirius in his turn. Sirius gently nipped Remus’s finger, and Remus scolded, ‘Bad Padfoot!’
At this point, James and Peter slunk away, though James glanced round briefly just in time to see Remus brushing a few crumbs out of Sirius’s hair, while Sirius appeared to be licking butter from the corner of Remus’s mouth. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry or bang his head repeatedly against the wall, so he did all three, much to Peter’s consternation.
End