Rough Draft Essay 2
I have always liked Edvard Munch’s painting, The Scream, from as far back as kindergarten. I remember my art teacher showing us infamous paintings from various artists, one of them being Munch. From that moment on, The Scream has stuck out in my mind. I never fully understood the painting: the ghost-like figure screaming in pain, or how ( Read more... )
Comments 1
Some suggestions:
You have extensive quotations here. You need to paraphrase more than you quote. Try to take the essential aspects of the information and convey them concisely in your own language.
I believe you're quoting an astronomer, not an astrologer.
Avoid informal language; you have a couple of convversational phrases which render your sentences incomplete.
Avoid "they are..." and "it is..." sentence constuctions. Find an active verb and a reference for your subject.
Pay attention to word choice, like whaling/wailing.
Your in-text citations need to be correct in MLA and you need to include a Works Cited page.
Your paper could use some reorganization. Make sure your analysis of the rich text, the theory, and the social context are all separate sections. Streamline and condense your discussion of the different movements.
Great start!
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