FIC - And in the end...
Title: And in the end...
Pairing: MinSu
Genre: Angst
Warning: Un-betaed, so there are a lot of mistakes for sure D:
English is not my first language, and this story is a direct translation of a work made for the French version of 1sentence
Thanks to silent_twin for the beta :D
And in the end…
by Eleawin
Peace
Since the beginning, Changmin has set up some rules for himself: never disturb Jaejoong when he’s in the kitchen, never try to take a shower before Yunho, never go out when manager-hyung says no, and above all, never, never take Junsu from Yoochun. (he’s not sure he can follow this one.)
Cross
Junsu wears a cross because it makes him remember his faith, his beliefs, the rules he has to follow and the path he should embrace; nothing else matters, he says, avoiding Changmin’s eyes.
Symbol
And Changmin, when he looks at it, doesn’t see the religious sign but the things he will never have.
Drink
In his darkest dreams, he imagines himself giving pills to Junsu and sneaking in his bed at night, to touch him and…
Serum
When Yoochun confronts him about Junsu, Changmin is happy he doesn’t have to take truth serum; this way he can lie and tell the other singer not to worry. “Junsu is just a friend,” he says. “I don’t like him this way.” Yoochun seems relieved and Changmin just smiles.
Pardon
Deep inside, he feels so sorry: he knows he’s stupid, he’s a bastard; he knows he doesn’t have the right. He is in love with Junsu but he still likes Yoochun, and Yunho, and Jaejoong, and they are DBSK together and he doesn’t want to be the one who will break them.
Step
Changmin almost fell down the stairs when he bursts out of his room.
“Who’s the asshole who downloaded gay porn on my computer?!”
“Don’t act like you actually mind it,” said Jaejoong, looking smug. “Hey, don’t you think the main actor has the same butt as ‘Su?” - the following violence was entirely deserved.
Fire
He’s so hot, hot, as if he is burning from inside, and he can’t let a single moan escape, can’t move, can’t breathe… because Junsu will open his eyes and find him near his bed, and…
Hell
He knows he’ll be sent to Hell for that.
Pew
In the shadows of the church, Junsu is praying - for the ones he loves, for the ones he cherishes, for Dong Bang Shin Ki, for Yoochun, for Changmin, for him, him, him……
Saint
“I’m not a fucking saint,” Junsu says, drunk, so badly drunk he passes out when Changmin drags him in their shared room. The younger puts him in bed and can’t help wondering what Junsu is trying to prove.
River
When he was eight, he fell in a river and Junho saved him. Now, he’s not sure someone would be there to catch him if he ever drowns.
Faithfulness
He wants to believe he will never betray his faith.
Destruction
But he knows he is full of weaknesses, badly hidden ones, and Changmin is so close to find them. And it will be the end.
Ritual
Yoochun has a morning routine: he gets up, drinks some water, smokes his first cigarette on the balcony and goes to wake Junsu. One day, Changmin decided it was enough and dragged the tenor out of bed before Yoochun could even enter their room.
Submission
He’s the youngest of the group so he has to follow the rules: always letting the others go first, letting them choose first, letting them take first and then, accept whatever remains in the end. Changmin would have given everything just to be born one or two years earlier.
Denial
But he knows he’s in denial: he wants to believe that he is better than Yoochun, that he would do better than Yoochun, that he could be Yoochun, but in the end, he is just Changmin. And fans don’t ship MinSu, anyway.
Speaker
Changmin was maybe the youngest but he considered himself as the mature one. He was intelligent, cynical, full of sarcasm and persuasive. Or so he wished. He tried to coax Jaejoong into believing that Yoochun was the love of his life but Jaejoong wasn’t that stupid, alas…
Community
In a perfect world, everyone is happy: Changmin has Junsu, Yoochun is in love with Jaejoong and Yunho is married with a pretty girl who can give him the fifteen children he’s dreaming of.
Escape
He can’t stand seeing them so close anymore. So he runs off, and a frantic Jaejoong finds him sleeping peacefully in their van several hours later - he’s never seen the eldest so furious.
Red
“I just wanted some time alone,” he says, in an attempt to calm him down.
Stone
They were in the living-room when he came back. They all stared at him and didn’t say anything, as if they were made of stone.
Sacrifice
It was a mistake. They are celebrating the release of their new album. Because they don’t drink so much usually, because they are too close, too tired, mentally, physically, because they need to touch, need to feel, to hold on something solid, and real, and warm, and just here... this night, sacrificing some innocence in order to breathe seemed ok.
Blissfulness
It was wrong, wrong, so wrong, and Changmin loved it.
War
Jaejoong sides with Yoochun and holds a grudge against Junsu; Yoochun sides with Junsu and holds a grudge against Changmin; Changmin holds a grudge against himself and Junsu is in Yunho’s arms, and everything is a mess.
Consecration
In the end, Changmin proclaimed himself as the king among all the bastards of the entire universe.
White
Changmin said Junsu was the most innocent among them; he said a drop of ink was enough to trouble pure water, and Junsu was like this water before being contaminated. What he didn’t say is that he was the ink which is going to taint it.
Superstition
Junsu believes that praying every night to ask forgiveness will be enough to erase what happened.
Separation
He also believes that forbidding Changmin to touch him and forcing him away will resolve everything.
Statement
“I want to die” Changmin says, petulant like a child. He is bored and wants to see their reactions. Jaejoong throws a sock at his head, Yunho gives him a worried look, Yoochun does as if he didn’t hear him. And Junsu…
Circle
“Even if we return as we were before, all this will happen again,” Changmin patiently explains. Junsu seems troubled, trapped in his arms, but doesn’t ask him to let him go.
Faith
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”
Church
Changmin is in the church as well, but he isn’t praying. He’s waiting for Junsu, and deep inside, he feels sorry. So sorry.
Pairing: MinSu
Genre: Angst
Warning: Un-betaed, so there are a lot of mistakes for sure D:
English is not my first language, and this story is a direct translation of a work made for the French version of 1sentence
Thanks to silent_twin for the beta :D
And in the end…
by Eleawin
Peace
Since the beginning, Changmin has set up some rules for himself: never disturb Jaejoong when he’s in the kitchen, never try to take a shower before Yunho, never go out when manager-hyung says no, and above all, never, never take Junsu from Yoochun. (he’s not sure he can follow this one.)
Cross
Junsu wears a cross because it makes him remember his faith, his beliefs, the rules he has to follow and the path he should embrace; nothing else matters, he says, avoiding Changmin’s eyes.
Symbol
And Changmin, when he looks at it, doesn’t see the religious sign but the things he will never have.
Drink
In his darkest dreams, he imagines himself giving pills to Junsu and sneaking in his bed at night, to touch him and…
Serum
When Yoochun confronts him about Junsu, Changmin is happy he doesn’t have to take truth serum; this way he can lie and tell the other singer not to worry. “Junsu is just a friend,” he says. “I don’t like him this way.” Yoochun seems relieved and Changmin just smiles.
Pardon
Deep inside, he feels so sorry: he knows he’s stupid, he’s a bastard; he knows he doesn’t have the right. He is in love with Junsu but he still likes Yoochun, and Yunho, and Jaejoong, and they are DBSK together and he doesn’t want to be the one who will break them.
Step
Changmin almost fell down the stairs when he bursts out of his room.
“Who’s the asshole who downloaded gay porn on my computer?!”
“Don’t act like you actually mind it,” said Jaejoong, looking smug. “Hey, don’t you think the main actor has the same butt as ‘Su?” - the following violence was entirely deserved.
Fire
He’s so hot, hot, as if he is burning from inside, and he can’t let a single moan escape, can’t move, can’t breathe… because Junsu will open his eyes and find him near his bed, and…
Hell
He knows he’ll be sent to Hell for that.
Pew
In the shadows of the church, Junsu is praying - for the ones he loves, for the ones he cherishes, for Dong Bang Shin Ki, for Yoochun, for Changmin, for him, him, him……
Saint
“I’m not a fucking saint,” Junsu says, drunk, so badly drunk he passes out when Changmin drags him in their shared room. The younger puts him in bed and can’t help wondering what Junsu is trying to prove.
River
When he was eight, he fell in a river and Junho saved him. Now, he’s not sure someone would be there to catch him if he ever drowns.
Faithfulness
He wants to believe he will never betray his faith.
Destruction
But he knows he is full of weaknesses, badly hidden ones, and Changmin is so close to find them. And it will be the end.
Ritual
Yoochun has a morning routine: he gets up, drinks some water, smokes his first cigarette on the balcony and goes to wake Junsu. One day, Changmin decided it was enough and dragged the tenor out of bed before Yoochun could even enter their room.
Submission
He’s the youngest of the group so he has to follow the rules: always letting the others go first, letting them choose first, letting them take first and then, accept whatever remains in the end. Changmin would have given everything just to be born one or two years earlier.
Denial
But he knows he’s in denial: he wants to believe that he is better than Yoochun, that he would do better than Yoochun, that he could be Yoochun, but in the end, he is just Changmin. And fans don’t ship MinSu, anyway.
Speaker
Changmin was maybe the youngest but he considered himself as the mature one. He was intelligent, cynical, full of sarcasm and persuasive. Or so he wished. He tried to coax Jaejoong into believing that Yoochun was the love of his life but Jaejoong wasn’t that stupid, alas…
Community
In a perfect world, everyone is happy: Changmin has Junsu, Yoochun is in love with Jaejoong and Yunho is married with a pretty girl who can give him the fifteen children he’s dreaming of.
Escape
He can’t stand seeing them so close anymore. So he runs off, and a frantic Jaejoong finds him sleeping peacefully in their van several hours later - he’s never seen the eldest so furious.
Red
“I just wanted some time alone,” he says, in an attempt to calm him down.
Stone
They were in the living-room when he came back. They all stared at him and didn’t say anything, as if they were made of stone.
Sacrifice
It was a mistake. They are celebrating the release of their new album. Because they don’t drink so much usually, because they are too close, too tired, mentally, physically, because they need to touch, need to feel, to hold on something solid, and real, and warm, and just here... this night, sacrificing some innocence in order to breathe seemed ok.
Blissfulness
It was wrong, wrong, so wrong, and Changmin loved it.
War
Jaejoong sides with Yoochun and holds a grudge against Junsu; Yoochun sides with Junsu and holds a grudge against Changmin; Changmin holds a grudge against himself and Junsu is in Yunho’s arms, and everything is a mess.
Consecration
In the end, Changmin proclaimed himself as the king among all the bastards of the entire universe.
White
Changmin said Junsu was the most innocent among them; he said a drop of ink was enough to trouble pure water, and Junsu was like this water before being contaminated. What he didn’t say is that he was the ink which is going to taint it.
Superstition
Junsu believes that praying every night to ask forgiveness will be enough to erase what happened.
Separation
He also believes that forbidding Changmin to touch him and forcing him away will resolve everything.
Statement
“I want to die” Changmin says, petulant like a child. He is bored and wants to see their reactions. Jaejoong throws a sock at his head, Yunho gives him a worried look, Yoochun does as if he didn’t hear him. And Junsu…
Circle
“Even if we return as we were before, all this will happen again,” Changmin patiently explains. Junsu seems troubled, trapped in his arms, but doesn’t ask him to let him go.
Faith
“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”
Church
Changmin is in the church as well, but he isn’t praying. He’s waiting for Junsu, and deep inside, he feels sorry. So sorry.